Description - The title is pretty much self explanitory... But for you people like Kevvie and Britt, I'll spell it out for you:
Quinn leaves for a party one night, but never comes back. (It was BOUND to happen sooner or later...)
Will Daria *really* show sisterly concern? Are Jake and Helen *really* bad parents? Are- Oh hell, just read it. Enjoy!

Where, O Where Has My Little Quinn Gone?
By Tazzie

(The Morgendorffer Residence. Daria's room. Jane and Daria are watching Sick, Sad World.)

Jane - Is it possible that we'll *ever* get sick of this show?

Daria - *turns off T.V.* It's possible.

(Daria's door is partially open. Quinn can be heard from her room.)

Quinn(into phone) - Yeah. (Pause) Oh, yeah! That was *such* a cute outfit!

(Daria closes her door completely. Quinn can still be heard squealing, but less than before.)

Daria - Sometimes I wish she'd just get lost...

Jane - Problems with Princess Grace?

Daria - Oh, nothing that hasn't been going on for seventeen years.

Jane - Want to go grab a slice?

Daria - Nah... I'll take a rain check. I'm going to do some writing.

Jane - That's cool. I wanted to catch up on my running, anyway. C'ya!

Daria - Later, Jane.

(Morgendorffer kitchen. Quinn is on the phone, Helen is on her cell, Jake is at the stove making *god* knows what, and Daria is sitting at the table staring off into space.)

Quinn(on phone) - So I was like, you don't have to fight over me! I can go out with all of you!

Helen(on phone) - Eric! (Pause) Shut up, Eric! (Pause) Eric... (Pause and sigh) (Hangs up phone.) That man is so high-strung...

Quinn(on phone) - Party? Tonight? (Pause) I'll be there in ten minutes! (Hangs up phone.) There's a party tonight, and Fashion Club attendance is required. C'ya!

Daria - So glad to be informed...

Helen - Daria, you should be more supportive of your sister's extracurricular activities.

Daria - I'm not even supportive of my own extracurricular activities, so why would I be supportive of hers? (Thought V.O.) Not that I have any... (Out loud) Besides, since when is a Fashion Club an extracurricular activity?

Helen - Jake, back me up on this.

Jake - Huh?

Helen - Just... never mind.

(The next morning, Daria's room.)

(Daria's alarm goes off awakening her. As she awakens, loud voices can be heard from downstairs. Daria quickly dresses and goes down.)

Helen - Oh, our little Quinny! I hope she's alright!

Daria - ... What's going on? Did Quinn poke one of her eyes out with her eye liner?

Jake - Quinn didn't come home from that party last night! *starts crying*

Helen - We've called all her friends' houses, and nobody knows where she is!

Daria - Have you called the police to report her missing? *looking generally concerned*

Jake(through sobs) - Uh, huh.

Helen - They're interrogating her friends to see if they know anything.

Daria - (thought V.O.) Well, of course they don't *know* anything, per say. (Out loud) I really hope she's alright. *looks upset*

(Casa Lane. Jane's room. Daria and Jane are watching Sick, Sad World. But Daria isn't really watching the T.V., she is deep in thought. Jane notices her friend's lack of interest.)

Jane - Ok. Spill, Morgendorffer. Something's wrong, I can tell... Is Princess Grace still on your nerves?

Daria(brakes down) - *crying* Quinn went out for a party last night and she never came home. And nobody knows where she is!

Jane - *surprised at Daria's show of emotion* Dar, are you alright? I never knew you cared so much about Quinn.

Daria - Well of course I care about her, she's my sister! I may not show it often, but I do care. *sniff*

Jane - Maybe you shouldn't have said what you said yesterday...

Daria - *sniff* What? What did I say?

Jane - *Daria impression.* Sometimes I wish she'd just get lost...

Daria - Oh my god. You're right! It's all my fault... I should have learned not to say things like that after that thing with the goal post at our school...

Jane - Come on, Daria. I was only kidding. Of course you aren't at fault. It was just coincidence! I'm sure Quinn will turn up.

Daria - I hope.

(Morgendorffer living room. Jake, Helen, and Daria are sitting staring at the phone. Waiting to hear any news there may be about Quinn. Suddenly, the phone rings.)

All three - I'll get it!

(Daria picks up phone.)

Daria - Hello?

Jane - Yo.

Daria - Oh, hi Jane. (Jake and Helen go back to their vegetable state.)

Jane - Any news on Quinn?

Daria - Nothing yet... We're all really worried. The police are interrogating everyone in Lawndale now.

Jane - Yeah... They came by and asked Trent and me.

Daria - Oh. Well, hopefully they find something out. They're also doing a search. Keep your fingers crossed.

Jane - I will. Bye, Daria.

Daria - Bye. (Hangs up phone, and puts it down.)

(Phone rings. Again. Helen picks it up, this time.)

Helen - Hello? (Pause) Yes, this is her. (Pause) And? (Pause) Oh my god... *Helen pales* (Pause) Yes, we'll be there as soon as possible. (Hangs up.)

Jake and Daria - Well?!

Helen - That was the police. They found Quinn's body in an alley. *cries*

Daria - Her body? But... She's *gone* ?

(Helen nods, unable to speak. Jake begins to bawl like a five-year-old. And Daria lets tears fall silently from her eyes.)

Daria - Do they know how she died?

Helen(nods) - She was... strangled.

Daria and Jake - She was *murdered*?

(Helen nods.)

(One week later. Quinn's funeral. After all the readings and such. The funeral clears out until Jane and Daria are the only ones left.)

Jane - I'm sorry about Quinn, Daria. I really didn't know you cared so much.

Daria - It's not your fault.

(Jane looks at her feet.)

Daria - Jane... Do you know something I don't...?

Jane - OK! I'm sorry! It was my fault. *I* strangled your sister...

Daria - But Jane! How *could* you?!

Jane - Well... I couldn't stand her getting you down anymore! I couldn't stand her popularity. I couldn't stand *her.* So... After our little convo in your room, I decided only *one* thing could be done. So, I followed her for the rest of the night. And when her ride fell through with Joey, Jeffy, and that other "J" guy, I saw my golden opportunity. When the time was right, I snuck up on her, and... Well. The rest is history. I did it for you, Daria!

Daria - Oh. Well. As long as it was for me. *flashes Mona Lisa smile*

Jane - Huh? You're not... Upset?

Daria - No... I was actually planning something myself. You did me a favor. Plus, maybe I can get Quinn's room as an extension to my own, and convince my parents to pad the walls in there.

Jane - So... Everything worked out alright then.

Daria - Let's see. The whole town is upset, Quinn's gone for good, and my parents are scarred for life... I'd say that everything worked out great.

Jane - Wanna go grab a slice...?

Daria - Sure do.

*~The End~*