Weak at the Freeze Starts off at Thursday on winter break. Theme song Scene One: The Morgendorffer kitchen Jake runs in dressed up like Santa with a fake beard, jingling some bells frantically, smiling like he just saw his father die two more times. Daria: Who will guide my sleigh tonight? Quinn: Daria, if you are planning on getting me sometimes for Christmas, refer to Waif's winter issue. I want everything on page 20, 23, 67 through 98, oh and some lipstick from the makeup store. Not the grocery store or off the Internet. That's tacky. Okay? Bye. Daria: And all I wanted was some books. Quinn gets up to leave. Daria is reading the Lawndale paper, eyes skimming the articles as Jake rants. Jake: Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Dad just go to hell! Leave me alone and let me what I wanna be! He stops singing. Jake: Dammit! I can't be anybody anymore because Dad said that boys can't be in Christmas pageants and be angels, dammit! Daria: And you just spoiled my dreams. She then got up and was about to go upstairs to her bedroom when Helen caught her. Helen: Daria? Make your Christmas list of things that you want. Your father and I-I mean Santa will get them for you. Daria: And I thought he was real. Helen: Now go on. ** doorbell rings ** Quinn: (off screen, yelling) If it's Joey, tell him to come in. If it's Jeffy, tell him that I don't like cotton blends. And if it's Jamie tell him that I'm going out with Nate. Daria: Repeat that once more for the people way in the back. Daria opens the door to see Jane grinning at her. Jane: Hey. Come with me. Daria: Okay. She goes out the door before Helen can speak. Outside the house as they walk Daria: Why did you awake me from my hundred year slumber? Jane: I needed someone other than snoring to talk to. Daria gives her a look that says I Don't Believe You. Jane: Fine. I've got news. Daria: Trent woke up at nine this morning? Jane: Even better. I just finished my new painting. Daria: Wow. And I thought that Quinn's thousand page gift list was better. Jane: Actually, I need your guidance. Daria: With shopping? Jane: They should rename you Physic Morgendorffer. Daria: Is this for whom? Jane: You'll find out. Scene 2 At the mall. Cheery Christmas music, decorations, etc is scattered about as Daria and Jane walk though it. Jane: It's pathetic. ** they pass "Santa" talking to little children ** Daria: Especially since he's not even real. Daria says that loudly and the kids glare at her. Jane and Daria exchange smiles. Jane: So, we're here. Daria stares at the shop sign. Guitar Daria: We're shopping for Trent here? Why did you need me along? Jane: You'll see. They browse, and Jane walks out with a bag. Jane: Come on. Daria follows Jane into her favorite store, Death Spiral. Jane: Pick something out. Daria: I thought Christmas presents were secret. Jane: Yeah, they are. But I don't wanna get you any shit. So come on-pick something out. Daria wanders the shelves and picks out a DVD called When Animals Attack: The Sequel. Blood! Gore! Much More Than Before! Jane: Looks good. Merry Christmas, Daria. She hands Daria the shopping bag. Daria: Thanks. Jane: So. Let's get all the damned shopping done. The only reason I shop is because Trent got pissed off at me one year for getting him some blueberry jam and you hated me that one Christmas when I gave you a painting that said "Daria's Christmas Carol" with you by the Sick, Sad World logo. Daria: I remember that. I still have it in my closet. They exchange smiles. Daria: Well, I've got someone else to shop for. Jane: Oh yeah. Go to the book store, browse, grab a classic and be gone. Daria says nothing. Jane: Well, come on. Daria: I'll get him something nice. Jane: Alright. Can I pick something out? Daria: Fine. Jane wanders to get a new art kit full of paints and pastels. They continue on. Jane: You should get presents for the whole family! Daria: Shut up. She talks sort of angrily. Daria: But I will get them something. They stop in a pharmacy shop. Daria walks up to the cashier and grabs a pack of gum. Daria: Quinn. She then grabs a planning book and fancy pen. Daria: Mom. And she then goes the pharmacy aisle and grabs some headache, stomach ache, and constipation medicine. Daria: Dad. Let's go. So Daria checks out and leaves, accompanied by Jane. She wanders farther down she spies something that Tom talked about: a software program that lets you play DVDs, edit them, and take pictures. It also comes with complete data base and easy search-and-find and webpage maker all for $150. Her mind wanders back and thinks of the nice stuff he's gotten her. She immediately grabs the box off display and hands it to the cashier, blowing her entire saving for the Sick, Sad World series on DVD. Jane: Nice. We're done. Daria: Good, let's leave. Daria enters in the house through the front door to see the Fashion Club in the living room, watching a cry-your-heart- out romance for shallow people. (in the movie) Woman: Oh Timothy! I love you! Timothy: Janis, I cannot go on without you! Daria: Oh, Timothy, I can go on without you. They glare at air, since Daria escaped to her room. Daria was arranging the present from Jane on her shelves when the phone rings. Since Quinn didn't pick it up on the second ring (which was the "cool" thing to do), Daria picked it up. Daria: Hello? Tom: Hey. How are you? Daria: Fine. Tom: Should I come over dressed up as a fat Santa and sing you jingle bells or are you happy with just getting a present and a hello? Daria: I choose B. Tom: Cool. Listen, my family is having a Christmas party Saturday. You wanna come? All the boring people will be here so that means that I'll be in hell for the entire Saturday night. So could we come and we could exchange presents and go to hell together, as boyfriend and girlfriend? Daria: Sounds fun even though I don't go for fun. Tom: Cool. See you then. Daria: Okay. Tom: Oh, and tell Jane that she can come if she wants to go to her ex's Christmas party. Daria: I'll invite her. And they hung up. Daria then stares out her window, seeing the snow on the ground. Zip ahead to the next day. Daria, taking advantage of winter break, appears on camera reading a book, her headphones on, and she's listening to Outrageous Phone Calls: Stalkers or Sisters? Quinn comes in the kitchen and walks up to Daria. Quinn: Daria? Daria takes off her headphones. Daria: Yes? Quinn: Tom's here. He told me to tell you that he wants to talk to you. Daria gets up, quizzical look on her face, as she approaches a smiling Tom. Tom: Hi. Daria: Hi? Tom: Come on. At the park, Tom and Daria are sitting on a bench Tom: Daria? I wanted to get you something really special for Christmas-something that your parents, Quinn, or Jane wouldn't get you. Here. He hands Daria an envelope. Daria: A letter to Santa? They exchange smiles. She opens the envelope to find two tickets to New York City inside. Daria: New York? Tom: Yeah. I figured that you can do some insulting of fashion people on Fifth Avenue.stroll Central park.Have some nice time with Jane. Daria: Jane? Why would I use your Christmas present on Jane? Tom: Just suggesting.Well you'd take her and not me. I'm just your boyfriend after all. He smiled. Daria hugs Tom. Daria: Thanks. All I got you, compared to this, is shit. I got you that computer thing you wanted. I'll get you something else. Tom: Don't bother. They depart after a goodbye and Daria walks home, eager to ask Jane to come with her. She sees the date is during spring break and a note says: -Daria- Call for hotel info. -Tom- Daria grins, continues to walk, and goes inside. Next scene. Daria in her room calling Jane. Daria dials. Trent: Yo. Daria: Hey Trent. Is Jane there? Trent: Yeah. Hang on. Jane: Hello? Daria: Hey. Jane: What's up? Daria: Got two things to ask you. Jane: Well, start with the good one. Daria: Fine. One is Tom is having a Christmas party tomorrow and wants to know if you can come and he gave me some tickets to NYC as a Christmas gift and you wanna go? Jane: But it's his gift. Daria: I know. He insisted. Jane: Well.alright. And I'll come to the thing. I'll just come by at your house. It'll be cool. Daria: See you then. Jane: Bye. Zips ahead one day. Daria wakes up in the morning and heads downstairs for breakfast. Helen zooms in the kitchen, ready for work. Daria: I'm going to a Christmas with Jane at Tom's later tonight just so you know and you won't think that I've been taken by the Body snatchers. Helen: That's nice. She doesn't pay attention. Daria: Then I'm thinking about robbing a bank. Helen: It'll effect your college education. Daria: Then I'm thinking about running off with Tom and Jane to go meet King Kong and get autographs signed by the Today show hosts. Helen: Daria, the Today show is in NYC. Daria: Attention check. Please file into line two. Helen then leaves Daria in the kitchen. Daria finishes up her toast and then she leaves the dishes in the sink and goes upstairs to her bedroom and sits down at her computer. She then starts typing: (screen is looking over her shoulder) Life in Hell by Daria Morgendorffer My life is in hell. And she just stares blankly, watching the line blink on the screen. The doorbell rings and Daria appears on the steps and Quinn takes Joey's hand and leads him out to his car. Daria: Of course, another gift to Quinn. Daria heads back upstairs and the screen zooms to show a clock turn from 2 to 6. Daria is reading a book downstairs in the kitchen and Jake comes in, dressed up in a sweater with a white reindeer and a jingle bell for a nose. He dances around, carrying a boom box with a Christmas carol playing. Jake: Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Dad really smells! He is a damn idiot! Keeping Jake, from his dreams, and now he burns in hell! Hey! Daria puts on her normal bored look. Daria: Have you made a song for Quinn? Jake: Oh dammit! I forgot to make a nice verse for Helen! Jake leaves Daria and her book. She then glances up at a clock. She then gets up and goes to her room. Screen cuts to her room, and Daria enters in. She opens the door, and puts the book back on her shelf and the phone rings. She knows that it's for her since Quinn's gone. Daria: Hello? Jane: Hey. Can't come tonight-busy. Daria: Um.alright. Jane: Guess you'll have to brave the Sloane party alone, Daria. Daria: Can I have a helmet? Jane: Sorry for canceling. Daria: But what are you doing, just for the record? Jane: Uh, stuff. Daria: I'm very satisfied now. Jane: Hell with it, Daria. You'll find out soon enough. Think of it as a Christmas surprise or something. Daria: Do I get something in my stocking also? Jane: Bye. Daria: Talk to you later. And they hang up. She then throws the phone on the floor and leaves. But she trips on a purse that Quinn threw in the hallway and her glasses fall off. Daria: Dammit. She searches, but smashes her glasses. Daria: Damn it! She's very angry. She gets up and throws her glasses, searching her way using her hands, on the bathroom counter. Blinded, she throws and pushes around Quinn's beauty products until she finds her old contacts. Daria: Guess I'll be itching like hell today... Now let's see if I remember how. She takes the liquid and puts it on the contact and puts the contact on her eye, blinks and couple of times. Daria: Hell with it. She then puts the other one in and looks at her glasses. The glass is cracked. She then puts them back on the counter and leaves the bathroom. She then runs down the stairs and off to Tom's. Commercial break. Song: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Resumes with Daria knocking on Tom's door. Tom: Hey. (sees Daria without her glasses) Do you have the right house? Daria: This where a guy that I'm going out with lives here-his name is Tom Sloane. Right? Tom: Where are you glasses? Daria: I was being put under a hex. Tom: Huh? Daria: One of Quinn's many objects-but she calls them "accessories"-was on the floor and I tripped, fell, and they broke-cracked glass. So I'm stuck with these moldy oldies. I got them years ago for driving but they itched like hell so I just threw them in the back of a closet-hoping they'd go to Indiana Jones's Temple of Doom until I die. But, of course, they were raised on the third day for this. Tom: I see. Come on in, the party's heating up or as it would appear to the naked eye as a bunch of old people schmoozing. Daria: Bitching amongst one another about whose dentures are cleaner and who will die first? Tom: Yeah, that's pretty much it. Daria: Wow and I thought that shaping my earwax was more amusing. Tom: And I'm sure my mom can get an opening at the museum for your earwax sculptures. Daria: Don't make me feel too special. Tom: Daria's here. Angier (Tom's father): Hello Daria. Katherine "Kay" (Tom's mother): Hello Daria. Daria: Hello. Tom's parents walk off and Tom turns to Daria. Tom: Where's Jane? Daria: To tell you the truth, I don't know. Tom: Huh? Daria: She wouldn't tell me. Tom: Oh. Daria: So. Tom: So let's join the bitching old farts in debating? How about whose socks have more lint on them? Daria: Sounds good. And they walk upstairs to Tom's bedroom. Tom: So, Daria. Daria: Dammit. I forgot your gift. Tom: Awww. No sweat. They look around Tom's room, not saying anything. Daria: This sucks. Pizza? Tom: You read my thoughts. And they get up from sitting on Tom's bed and walk out the door. Cuts to outside Pizza King Daria is turned towards Tom. Daria: Let's get a pie and then go back to your place, and then debate about whose hair is better. Tom doesn't respond. Daria: Tom? Tom: Did you say Jane didn't tell you where she was? Daria: Yes. Tom: Well we know now. Tom stopped walking and was frowning. Daria stares at Jane and a guy sitting in a booth-laughing and having a good time, enjoying each other's company. Daria walks over to Jane, eyes angry and frowning, leaving a disappointed Tom behind just stand. Daria: Having fun, best friend? Jane stops laughing and gets embarrassed. Jane: Oh hi, Daria. What are you doing here? Daria: Shouldn't I be asking you the same question? Jane: Hey, I said that I was busy. Daria: Yeah, but you blew me off for some guy. Jane: So?! I've got more to hold against you. She flashes an angry look at Tom. Daria continues to glare and then she walks out. Tom goes after her. Tom: Daria? They leave a defeated Jane behind. Jane's date: Jane? Jane: Should I go after her? Jane's date: C'mon, Jane. She blew you off. Jane looks longingly at the door but turns back to her date. Screen catches up with Daria, eyes angry, walking home and Tom running behind her. Tom: Daria! Wait up! Daria flashes a cold look at him. She stops walking. Daria: She blew me off. I'm mad, of course. Tom: Maybe she wanted to surprise you-you know by telling you in person and not like this. Daria: Well, she shouldn't blew me off for a guy. Tom: We've done it to her. Daria: So? Tom: Well.uh. Daria, you've got to understand that she misses her best friend and she's taking a refuge with another guy so she can have a guy who she can talk to and be absorbed in her art with when her best friend is busy with her boyfriend. Daria looks at him with guilty eyes. Daria: I guess you're right. But she could've told me. I mean, I'd be less mad if she told me she had a date. I'd probably actually be happy for her. Tom: Of course. Do you want to just go home or come back to my house with bitching old people? Daria gives a weak smile. Tom: Because you can go home. Daria: I'm kind of beat. Tom: No more said. See you later. And Daria turns to walk home. Zip ahead a day Daria wakes up, talking to herself. Daria: Christmas Eve...hopefully people bought me a decent gift. She went down the stairs, dressed, and met Quinn chirping on the phone. Quinn: Oh hi, Sandy. (pause) Of course she should break up with him-his nose is way too big. (pause) Of course Sandy, that's a great idea. I'll just sort of ditch my family. (pause) Of course we don't open presents. We just give them away and then leave. (pause) Yes, I got you something decent this year unlike Brad. Bryce got me a nice keychain but that's too cheap so I complained to Jeffy and he got me a nice locket and then Joey said that he could do better so he gave me a diamond ring and then finally Jamie got me something good: a diamond ring, a locket, and some concert tickets. (pause) Of course the tickets are front row. Sandy, I always take the best stuff. (pause) Of course, Sandy, I told Bryce to that I don't accept cheap gifts. (pause) Oh my god, Sandy! I'm so sorry! That's so offensive! I mean, he should at least get brand name lotion. And he did what?! He got you some orange juice and a deluxe pack of grocery store make up! What an insult! Daria passed up Quinn, rolling her eyes. Daria: And the person insulted was-let me guess-the lotion. Quinn glares at Daria while continuing to blab with Sandy. Helen comes in, rushing past Daria. Helen: Dammit, I'm working on Christmas Eve. "Big, important meeting," says Eric. Dammit, I gotta miss family time? Daria casts a bored look. She sits down and grabs the newspaper. Jake is reading it also. Jake: They're going to postpone the postponed already Christmas Pageant! What kind of town is this? They postpone pageants and they don't let boys be angels, dammit! Daria still looks bored. Her eyes skim the pages. Quinn is obviously off the phone, because it rang. Quinn checked the caller ID. Quinn: It's Tom. She looked at Daria. Daria: Hello? Tom: Hey Daria. How are you? How are things? Daria obverses what her family is currently doing: Quinn obsessing over a mascara debate on how that store bought brands and worse than makeup store brands and Jake booming about how he couldn't be an angel in a Christmas pageant when he was a child. Daria: Everything's normal. Commercial break: Song: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Resuming. Daria: Yeah. I've recovered fine. (split screen between Daria and Tom) Tom: Cool. So you're not so pissed off at Jane as you were when you walked out on her at Pizza King? Daria: I'll be able to admit my faults, Father Thomas. Tom: Daria, just remember that she feels alone sometimes. Daria: Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Tom: See you later. Daria hangs up and decides that she wants her friend back. Daria knocks on the door. Jane peers through a window and casts a cold look. Daria gets angry eyes and bangs on the door and yells. Daria: Dammit, Jane! Open the door! Trent comes out to see Daria, eyes surprised. Trent: What's wrong, Daria? Daria: Jane refuses to talk to me. I-uh-sort of was a little bitchy last night and she won't let me at least apologize. Trent: Whoa. Calm down, Daria. Everything's cool. Daria: Can I come in at least? Trent: Sure. I'll get Janey and you can work stuff out. Trent disappears as Daria stands in the living room. Jane appears, looking angry. Trent then leaves the room. Jane: What the hell do you want? Daria's eyes get guilty. Daria: To apologize. So-sorry; I was bitchy last night. Jane: Because. Daria: I don't know. Jane: But what about you know.? Daria: What? Jane gives her a "you know damn well what I'm saying" look. Daria: What? Me get upset at for ditching me for a guy? Jane gives the same look. Daria: I guess I get an F in friendship, huh? So you have it-brains don't exceed in everything they were meant for. Jane: But I should've told you. They sit. Daria: So it's resolved? Jane: I guess. Daria: Good. Silence. Jane: So how was that party? Daria: Oh, fine. It was just full of bitchy old people debating about whose dentures were cleaner. So Tom and I decided to dump the idea and just head out for some pizza. Jane: Well I should've told you anyways. I double-booked. The guys' name Paul. He's from that city outside Lawndale-Orchard Hills. He says that it's the same hell. He has brown hair, brown eyes, and likes ham. Any questions? Daria: Still. Jane: Hey, he's not as wild as that Nathan guy I went out with. Daria: I'll say so. At least he wears clothes from this millennium. Jane: So, let's have a nice Christmas party of our own. How about it? Daria: Count me out. Jane: Fine. We'll just give each other twenty bucks and go out for pizza tomorrow. Daria: Sounds great. But winter break ends pretty soon. Jane: Yeah. But we'll get together. Daria: Cool. Silence. Jane: So why are you still here? Go out. Have something close to fun-or as much as-close-to-fun as Daria Morgendorffer can. Daria: But what about you? Jane: I'll be alright. I'll just help Trent with some lyrics, call up Paul, prank call the power company.the list goes on forever. Daria: Are you sure? Jane: I'm fine for the millionth time. Just go out with Tom. Daria: Why are you commanding me to? Jane: You need to spend more time together. Daria: Your point.? Jane: You're boyfriend and girlfriend. Daria: You're my best friend. Jane: Daria, if I was lying, I'd kill myself with a fork now. Just go have fun. I don't want to control your life. Daria: I know. Jane: So go do some exercise on your sarcasm and crack some jokes at Quinn. Daria: Sounds great. She stands up. Daria: See ya later. Jane: Hey, maybe you and Tom and Paul and I can go out on a double date! Daria: Maybe we shouldn't've made up. Jane: Kidding. Kidding. Daria walks out the door, grins, and closes it. She gets home and is watching Sick, Sad World. SSW Announcer: He said that she should get a sex change. She said the same thing for him. Sex changed for both gender relationships tonight on Sick, Sad World. Daria muted the TV after the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Tom grinning. Tom: Hey. Daria: What are you doing here? Tom: You mean what are we. Daria: `We'? Tom: Yes.we. Tom steps aside for Daria to see Jane grinning holding Paul's hand. Daria smiles. Daria: A double date? Tom: No.I just consider it joining a so-called date. Daria: Uh. Tom: Hey, we pay. Daria: Count me in. Jane: Just like Daria.freeloader. She and Daria exchange smiles. Daria shuts the door and follows Tom, Jane, and Paul to Tom's car. She pushes the seat forward and Jane and Paul get in the back and she climbs inside the passenger side. Daria: Hey Tom. Tom: Yes, Daria? Daria: This is where it all started. Where's the monument? Tom smiles at Daria. Jane has angry eyes but a smiling mouth. Tom elbows Daria and then pushes on the gas and they accelerate towards a smiling future. Camera shows Daria smiling, then does closing credits. Song: Jason Mraz, Curbside Prophet