By Overlord Mikey-kun

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Chapter 1: Re-visiting Esteemsters

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-Driving/Pinto-

An old Pinto drove down the road. In the driver seat sat Tom Sloane a smile across his face. In the passenger side sat Elsie Sloane with her typical look of cynicism and border line apathy for the world. As the car went around sounds could be heard from the engine. Elsie looked into the side mirror.

Tom glanced her way and spoke "What are you looking for?"

"I'm making sure that it hasn't caught on fire yet. You know I hate riding in this car."

"I'll be sure add that to the list of things you 'hate'."

"Ha- anyway I just want to get to school and out of this piece of junk before it blows up." Elsie looked down at Tom's shoes. There was a large hole in the top. "Didn't mom buy you a new pair of shoes? Don't tell me that wearing new shoes is going to far. People might go and think you like spending money."

"Just like if you smiled people might think you had human emotions." He noticed a red and black flash from the corner of his eye and stopped. Looking out his window he saw Jane Lane on the side walk. He waved and she noticed him. Jane came over to the car window.

"Hey amigo." She said with a grin. She noticed Elsie in the other seat. Elsie was looking away from her. "and howdy Elsie." Elsie turned and glared at her. "Still angry huh. Hey it was an accident. How was I supposed to know your mother would take me seriously, let alone actually try square-dancing." This seemed to only make Elsie more bitter.

"I had to spend my weekend with mother. Square dancing. As far as I am concerned-" Elsie turned her head away "-your dead Lane."

"Scary are-" "You need a ride?" Tom asked interrupting Jane before his sister turned hostile. Despite her faux-cynicism and apathy she could get quite angry from time to time.

Jane shook her head."Nah I like walking. Besides if I get in your sister might scratch my eyes out."

"She's harmless-" Tom grinned. "at least according to the vet."

Elsie just responded with a brief, sarcastic laugh. Jane grinned. "Thanks for the offer, but no."

"How about pizza after you get out of Self Esteem class today then?"

"Pizza..." Jane considered it, but in the end she shook her head no with obvious disappointment "No can do. How about tomorrow?"

"Alright then. See you." Tom drove off as Jane continued her walk to school.

When they reached the school Tom stopped out front sniffed the air and said "Do you smell smoke?". Elsie dashed out of the car. Tom then parked the car and slowly made his way inside.

-In front of Lawndale High-

Jake pulled up to the school and told his daughters "Don't get upset if it takes the other kids a little while to warm up to you" although it was obvious that he was addressing Daria.

Quinn exited the car, but the few people around didn't seem to be interested in her.

"My god what is this place a ghost town?" Quinn remarked in horror. She noticed one girl with pigtails wave at her, but then the girl turned back to her three other friends. They had a few cute guys around them showering them with adoration and praise. Quinn wished they would let her in their group, but other then the girl with pigtails waving they didn't seem to notice her.

"See you dad." Daria said as she got out of the car. She had a smug look on her face. She turned and waved to her father driving away. "Disappointed they didn't lay down the red carpet."

Quinn looked around. She saw the group of four girls walking into the school with the guys following them. She sighed and didn't notice the one with pigtails turned around with an interested look on her face. For a moment she looked like she was about to go to Quinn, but one of the other girls called her and she dashed off after them.

"Just shut up Daria!" Quinn walked into the school half way to tears well Daria just followed still looking smug about her sisters disappointment.

-Hallway/Lawndale High-

The two sisters stood with a group of other newer students who where being given a tour.

"As you can see, our Lawndale High students take great pride in their school. That's why you'll each be taking a small psychological exam to spot any little clouds on the horizon as you sail the student seas of Lawndale High. "

"S.O.S girl overboard." Spoke Daria in her typical monotones voice, the girl near her moved away.

"Nobody mentioned a test! This is the perfect freakin' follow up to no one noticing me this morning." Quinn yelled to no one in particular.

Daria saw this as a chance to have mess with Quinn a little. "Yeah. The best part is that if you fail this one they send you back to middle school."

"What!?" Quinn said. Her voice was trembling with fear.

"That was a joke-" When she saw the relief in Quinn's face she said "-they just make you work in the cafeteria."

"With hairnets and a smock!" Cried Quinn. Daria just nodded. Quinn's face showed mortification as they walked onward.

-Mrs. Mason's Office-

The sisters sat in Mrs. Mason's office. Quinn looked nervous and distraught her head turned downward to her feet. Her mind racing about why no one noticed her. Well Daria sat calmly wondering how long this test would take, although Quinn's reaction was amusing.

"Now, Quinn... what do you see here?" Mrs. Mason said well holding up a picture of a male and female.

Quinn sat up and in a nervous rush said "Um-uh repeat the question!" Mrs. Mason gave her and angry look. "What do you see in the picture Quinn?"

"Um-a guy and a girl?" Quinn continued to look down to her feet. Is it my shoes? Is that it?

"Good. And what are they doing?" Mrs. Mason sounded irritated.

"T-talking?" Quinn said. In her head she was thinking. Must be the shoes! What was I thinking. They clash with my eyes!

"Tell me what you think their talking about?"

"Um the guy is saying he's breaking up with her because she's not as cute and popular as she was when he first met her. She says that he was a lousy boyfriend anyway and that she was going to dump him. The fact that HE dumped her mean that she is embarrassed and her friends are going to make fun of her. I can't believe it's my first day and I'm already an outcast." Quinn put her head on the table and sobbed. "My life is over! I might as well dress like Daria and become a brain!"

Mrs. Mason looked at Daria with a mix of concern, confusion, and irritation. Daria just shrugged.

"Ok since your sister seems... distraught at the moment." Quinn let out a cry "Let's move on to you... Dora."

"Daria."

Daria swore Mrs. Mason's eye twitched. "Just tell me what their saying in the picture please."

"He's breaking up with her because-"

"That was your sisters story!" The women's anger was now quite obvious.

"And now you see the flaw in your test."

Mrs. Mason stood up and walked out of the room rubbing her temples. Daria smirked and looked at Quinn. "I think I passed."

Quinn sobbed. "I'm going to have to work in the cafeteria! My life is over!"

Daria let out an irritated sigh. "I was kidding about that." Quinn sat up and looked at her with a angry scowl.

"I just embarrassed myself. If this gets out I'll never become popular!"

"Yes and that will mark the end of the world as we know it."

-DeMartino's Class/History-

Daria sat in her History Class. She was at first feeling good about what happened earlier, but now she could admit to at least herself that seeing her sister in a pool of her own tears because of her was almost enough to make her feel guilt. Almost, but not quite. She looked to her left and their was a girl with black hair in the typical Goth clothing. To her right sat a guy with brown hair and brown eyes wearing a black sweater and white pants.

"Class, we have a new student joining us today. Please welcome Daria Morgendorffer. Daria, raise your hand, please." Daria raised her hand as she was told to.

"Well, Daria! As long as you have your hand raised..." He let out an evil chuckle "Last week we began a unit on westward expansion. Perhaps you feel it's unfair to be asked a question on your first day of class."

"Excuse me?"

"Daria, can you concisely and unemotionally sum up for us the doctrine of Manifest Destiny?"

"Manifest Destiny was a slogan popular in the 1840s. It was used by people who claimed it was God's will for the U.S. to expand all the way to the Pacific Ocean. These people did not include many Mexicans."

The guy next chuckled a little at the comment at the end and whispered "Good one".

"Tom, If your so eager to talk why don't you share with us what war Manifest Destiny was used to justify?"

The boy answered. "The Mexican-American War or as we call it expanding through 'necessary' force."

"Thank you. Also next time please refrain from speaking in class." He paused for a second. "Also it's good to know someone is paying attention." DeMartino looked over at the guy in his football gear who was looking over at a blonde girl in a cheerleader uniform with rather impressive 'features'. "Isn't that right Kevin!" The football player didn't seem to notice him. "Kevin!"

"Um-Vietnam War?"

"Mr. Sloane already answered the question, correctly Kevin."

"I'm right? Great!"

DeMartino just slapped his head. "No Kevin you are not right!"

The cheerleader raised her hand. "Oh-oh-oh!"

DeMartino's tried to hide his bubbling irritation. He softened his voice as if he was talking to a child. "What is it Brittany?"

"Tom said the Mexican-um-American War."

"Yes he did."

"No babe it's the Vietnam war."

"Oh!" Brittany responded.

"No Kevin!" Yelled DeMartino, his patients obviously drained. Brittany just stared into the air with a confused look on her face twirling her hair. The bell rang as the desperate teacher attempted to explain. Daria wasn't sure but she thought she heard the teacher both screaming and sobbing as she left.

-Hallway-

Elsie walked down the halls with the three other members of the Fashion Club, Sandi stood next to her well Stacy, and Tiffany followed behind.

Stacy was trying to talk them into letting Quinn into the group "I think the new girl Quinn would make a wonderful addition to the Fashion Club. Other then the puffiness in the eyes she was really cute."

"Stacy I can't believe you would suggest a girl with puffy eyes for the Fashion Club, we have standards to uphold." Sandi said cuttingly. Although not an unusual mood for Sandi she seemed against the new girl from the start. "Besides four members is quite enough."

"B-b-but I saw her this morning and she was really cute. I swear!"

Elsie stopped. Stacy and Tiffany stopped shortly after her. Only Sandi kept walking on.

"Cute huh?" Said Elsie. As Sandi noticed everyone had stopped and headed back to the group.

"Yeah Elsie! Her eyes weren't puffy then."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to check her out then. Don't you agree Sandi?" She looked at Sandi with a smirk on her face. They had claimed to be Co-president, but Sandi knew who held all the cards and this irradiated Sandi to no end. On the other hand Sandi's irritation was entertainment to Elsie. "Besides you mentioned the possibility of expanding the club to me earlier." Sandi thought about it a moment for appearance reasons.

"Yes I to have been considering expanding the Fashion Club. Let's check this new girl out." Sandi said in order to pretend the whole idea was her own.

"Great!" Stacy said cheerfully. "I'll go tell her!"

"The bells about to ring. Tell her after class. We'll check her out tomorrow."

-Morgendorffer's Home-

"So because of Daria I went through the whole day puffy eyed. Luckily it turns out the Fashion Club noticed me before that and one of their members told me that I can meet the Co-Presidents of the club tomorrow to see if I'm Fashion Club material which gives me sometime to prepare. Also some guys noticed me and I have dates lined up for the next three Saturdays and one for the Sunday after next."

Daria added "And thus her social life and by extension the world was saved for another day."

"Daria don't be rude to your sister!" Helen turned to her and said in a harsh tone. She then turned back to Quinn. "That's great dear. I'm glad to hear you managed to turn your first day around."

Jake looked up from his food at Daria. "How was your day kiddo?"

"Well my History Teacher seems to be having a series of small but noticeable strokes due to the stupidity of about 95% of my class, some of which could be mistaken for escaped lab monkeys who's intellect was miraculously lowered in the experiments. Although the guy next to me seems kind of cu-" She cut herself off and looked around at her family. They seemed to be staring into her instead of at her. "-rious... and smart. Although I can't be certain if he's not just faking it."

Jake smiled. "Great!"

"Well at least your keeping an" She paused for a second. "somewhat open mind about one of your classmates." She was obviously not fooled by her daughters comment change. Part of her hoped Daria was coming out of her shell. "I suppose it's a little better then Highland." Her mother seemed to shiver at the memory.

This made Daria grin. "Speaking of Highland maybe I should make a phone call to some old friends and invit-"

"No!" Helen and Quinn cried out. Helen quickly regained her composure. "You should make some new friends."

"Alright I saw some nice bikers out-"

"At your new school." Added Helen. "Perhaps join a club or-"

The phone rang. "Hold on." Helen went to go pick it up.

Quinn called to Helen "Oh I bet that's Stacy! She's the one from the Fashion Club. She said she might call."

"Hello? Yes. Uh, yes, I'm their mother. I see. Listen, will this require any parent-teacher conferences or anything, and if so, is this the sort of thing my assistant can handle? Okay, great. Bye!" Helen hung up the phone and turned around. "You girls took a psychological test at school today? "

"Yes despite our protests and tortured screams." Daria responded as Quinn looked down embarrassed about her scene.

"They seem to believe that both of you have low self-esteem." Helen stopped and sighed. "They want you to take an extra after school class for a few weeks."

"I don't have low self-esteem! They can't do this to me!" Quinn yelled. "I didn't want to take that test anyway. I don't belong in that class!"

"And yet they say you do so you have to-." Responded Daria. "anyway I don't have low self esteem either and I have to go."

"You don't have low self-esteem? Are you kidding? Have you seen the way you dress." Quinn shot back. "I mean come on Daria you need full on therapy."

"As which in your case all attempts are futile."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Said Quinn as she held her fork like a weapon.

Helen quickly broke up the fight and sent them off to their rooms. Later Jake tried to come in and 'cheer Daria up' but in the end he only made himself upset and ranted about his father for awhile. Daria wondered if her father could use the classes more then her. He left and Daria drifted off to sleep well her sister chattered with someone on the phone.

-Quinn's Homeroom-

Quinn sat in homeroom before the bell rang. She was told on the phone to wait for the arrival of the other club members. Stacy sat beside her with a warm smile on her face. Quinn couldn't help but notice that Stacy was a very lovely girl and although she could never be a cute as Quinn she could be prettier, although it would take a some work.

"Don't worry Quinn. Elsie won't brush you off just because of Self-Esteem Classes. After all you where put there to keep an eye on your depressed cousin which is just plain noble of you." Stacy was obviously trying to make Quinn feel better.

"So your Quinn." Said a voice that sounded bored and unconcerned. Quinn looked behind her and saw a girl who Quinn could describe as having a regal air. She was not as cute as Quinn or as pretty as Stacy, but she had a healthy and confident aura. It was strange for Quinn because she had an expression that reminded Quinn of Daria, but for this girl it added to her charms, Quinn guessed at once that she was one of the Co-Presidents. Next to her was another girl with Asian features. Her makeup was flawless, but her face suggested that she wasn't really all there. Quinn doubted she was very good for conversation.

"Oh Quinn this is Elsie one of Presidents of the Fashion Club and that's Tiffany another member."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Elsie, Tiffany."

"Yes, it's a real pleasure." Elsie responded. Quinn thought she sounded sarcastic.

"Hi" Tiffany responded. On the other hand Quinn thought she sounded like she was dropped on her head.

As Sandi came into the classroom Elsie took a seat next to Quinn. "Welcome aboard." She glanced at Sandi then back at Quinn.

-Mr. O'Neill's Self-Esteem Class-

Daria sat listening to Mr. O'Neill speak. Quinn sat in the back corner looking embarrassed. Every so often she'd look around in a panic.

"Esteem... a teen. They don't really rhyme, do they? The sounds don't quite mesh. And that, in fact, is often the case when it comes to a teen and esteem. The two just don't seem to go together. But we are here to begin realizing your actuality......and when we do, each and every one of you will be able to stand proudly and proclaim, I am. Now, before we..."

Daria raised her hand.

"I want to know what realizing your actuality means."

"It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video!"

A girl with black hair and blue eyes wearing a red jacket leaned forward.

"He doesn't know what it means. He's got the speech memorized. Just enjoy the nice man's soothing voice."

"How am I supposed to follow him if I don't know what he's talking about?"

"I can fill you in later. I've taken this course six times."

Quinn overheard and looked over to Jane and Daria. The wheels in her head started to turn.

-In front of Lawndale High School-

Jane and Daria stood waiting for something, although Daria wasn't sure what. Jane continued to explain the class to her.

"So, then, after the role-playing, next class they put the girls and the guys in separate rooms and a female counselor talks to us about body image."

"Hey Jane?"

"What is it?"

"What are we waiting for?"

"Tom."

"Tom?"

"He's a friend of mine. And by friend I mean he's buying the Pizza. You sit next to him in history."

"Oh." Daria blushed a little.

"Oh my God! You have a crush on Tom." Jane seemed amused by this.

"No, that's not it."

"Yeah sure. You should be warned about something. His family is kind of weird."

"Yeah and my family is the picture-esque example of normal."

"Yeah he'll fit into all the family gatherings after the wedding."

"I don't like weddings. Also I don't like him. I don't even know him. Also I don't date."

"Yeah sure you don't-" Jane said sarcastically. Before realizing Daria was serious. "-never?"

"Do I look like the type who dates?"

Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Either way his families rich."

"Rich? What kind of rich?"

"The little people are talking about us, lower the soundproof windows rich."

"Oh."

"However he says he doesn't like people bringing up the fact, but that's a bold face lie. So you should mention it often when your seducing him with your womanly wiles."

"I'll remember that when I get womanly wiles, but I don't have a crush on him."

Jane just smirked as Tom's Pinto pulled up.

"He drives a Pinto."

"I prefer to call it the car of death, but to each their own."

Jane and Daria got into the back of the car.

"Hey Tom. This is Daria she'll be joining us."

"Hey Daria." Tom said as he looked back. He then froze for a moment before finally saying "Your that girl fr-."

"Yes and your a guy. Now that genders have been identified we can begin the process of really connecting."

"and then maybe someday if we do really well you can join the rest of intelligent civilization." Jane added,

"Which will bring the grand totally to about ten people." Daria finished.
Tom just grinned and turned around. They began to drive down the road.

Jane continued explaining Self-esteem class to Daria.

-Pizza King-

The three now sat in front of a large cheese pizza.

"So after O'Neill takes back the tests and checks them over everyone gets a cute little diploma to make them feel good about themselves and everyone in class claps for them."

"You've got the entire course memorized why can't you just pass the test?"

"I could pass the test, but I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special."

"And your laz-ouch!" Tom suddenly jumped in his seat. Jane had kicked him in the shins.

"I don't think you should be talking. I'm sure your not bribing the teacher to get out of gym."

"It's not bribing. It's donating. Also I do take gym."

"Take the equipment out."

"Hey!" Tom said defensively "I also put it away."

"So you spend money to skip gym? That's underhanded." Daria said. Tom looked down, obviously a bit guilty. "Anyway I can get in on that deal?"

They continued talking until they finished the pizza then Tom drove them home.

-Morgendorffer's Home-

Daria walked into her home and saw her mother sitting on the couch talking on the phone. "Listen Eric I already told you that-" She noticed Daria come in. "-I'm sorry I have to go." Helen hung up. "He's more needy then Jake. Daria your home!" Helen got up and walked up to her. "I'm surprised your home this late." She gave her daughter a suspicious look. "Your self-esteem class ended about two hours ago. I even took the day off to help you girls on your self-esteem."

"Thanks mom, but I'm in the care of experts any meddling by an amateur could be dangerous." Helen just shook her head.

"I don't pretend I'm going to cure you, but if a lack of mother-daughter bonding is part of the problem, we're going to remedy that right now. Since your sisters not home you can get my full attention."

"Your not really listening are you?"

"Don't worry Daria we'll do something you want to do!"

"Ok. I'm going to bed. You can join me if you want, but I somehow doubt you will."

Daria walked past her mother and up the stairs.

"Wait Daria!" Daria stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"Where did you go after class?"

"I got Pizza." Daria then turned and went upstairs. Helen was left alone and confused as the telephone began to ring again.

-Rowe's Home/Dining Room-

Stacy was sitting with Quinn. There was a plate of carrot sticks in front of them.

"I'm so glad you decided to come over Quinn."

"Oh I'm glad you said yes Stacy." Quinn looked around the dining room. She wanted to ask Stacy a question, but she didn't want to come off as rude. "Hey Stacy can I ask you something?"

"Sure go ahead. We're Fashion Club sisters, we can talk about anything."

"Why does the Fashion Club have two presidents? Co-presidents sounds a bit odd."

"I noticed that to, but Sandi says that it can't be co-captions because we're not a sports team. On the other hand the story is simple. Elsie is a Sloane, they are the most powerful family in town. Lots of connections. Sandi was the president, but Elsie joined bringing with her a ton of great stuff and we voted that they should both be president. Sometimes Sandi says it's like Elsie doesn't really care about Fashion and she should be president alone because of that. But I say if Elsie didn't care about fashion why would she join the club? Of course then Sandi get's mad and-" Stacy covered her mouth. "Oh Quinn I-I-I wasn't supposed to say that! Sandi said it was a secret! Please don't tell Elsie.

"I won't Stacy." Quinn answered. She wasn't really sure if her question was answered because of Stacy's panic, but it was nice to know some of the background details of the club.

"Thank you Quinn." Stacy sighed in relief. They spent awhile going through Waif magazines and talking before Quinn realized she had to head home.

-Sloane's Home/Kitchen-

Elsie stood in the Kitchen on the phone pacing back and forth. She would look towards all entrances to the room. "I suppose it's possible that Pink could go out of style by next month Sandi, but then again I haven't gotten the next issue. Yes the new girl is in self-esteem class. Something to do this a depressed sibling or cousin." Elsie wanted nothing more then to hang up on Sandi, but another part of her said she should just finish the conversation. After all she started it. Why do I even talk to this girl? She's so annoying. "Listen it's dinner time and I feel that family togetherness is very important. I love spending time with my mom." Sandi shut up after hearing that.

"Bye" Sandi said before hanging up.

There was a ding. "Finally!" Elsie took TV Dinner out of the oven. She then heard someone behind her.

"Your that desperate to get away from mom?" As he stared at the TV Dinner.

"Oh yes your one to talk aren't you. You had Pizza for dinner."

"I like Pizza. You hate TV Dinners. Actually you hate everything right?"

Elsie just pushed by him. TV Dinner in hand. "I ate before mom got home. End of story." She rushed to her room.

Tom shrugged as their mother entered the kitchen. "Oh Tom your in here." She put down some folders that where apparently for another fundraiser. She sniffed the air. "Was someone cooking something?"

"Elsie. She just ate."

"And you?"

"Had pizza with Jane and a new friend."

Kay looked disappointed but quickly shook it out of her mind. "A new friend? What kind of person is it? What's their name?"

"Oh look at the time. I need to get homework done. Talk later mom." Tom rushed out of the room.

Kay sighed. The phone rang and she answered it. "Oh hi. How's work? Good. Yes the fundraiser is going well. Oh you'll be home late. No problem I'll see you later." Kay just stood alone in the kitchen for a second before she started to flip through the folder.

-Lawndale High/Hallway-

Daria and Tom where walking down the hallway. Quinn was with a guy.

"So... like, what do you like to do after school? " Asked the boy.

"Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies... or, like, a theme park... or out for a really fancy meal now and then... or maybe go to a concert, if, like, I know somebody's got good seats and is renting a limo and stuff." Quinn answered in a completely casual way.

Tom stopped and looked over. "You hear that? If that's her idea of a normal date then I feel bad for the guy who takes her on a special date. "

"That's my sister. Well at least according to my parents, but I haven't had them checked either."

"Wow sound rough."

"So, you've got any brothers or sisters?" Asked the guy.

"I'm an only child." Replied Quinn.

Daria could feel anger rushing to her face. Tom looked at her.

"Wanna get her back?"

"How?"

"You could pretend your dating me. I'm quite the catch."

"Your quite full of yourself. Besides I don't date."

"To bad." Tom said in what Daria assumed was sarcasm. Quinn noticed them walking to their next class.

-Lawndale High/Self-esteem classes-

Daria and Jane passed around a picture in self-esteem class. Daria wasn't really paying attention, if she really need to know anything to pass Jane could let her in on it. Quinn had been staring at Jane throughout class.

"What's a daydream that you'd like to see come true?" O'Neill pointed at Quinn.

"Me?" Quinn said. She had tried to avoid being noticed in this class. "Let's see. I guess I'd like to go shopping with an unlimited credit card or date a cute guy with a lot of money who'll buy me anything I want."

Mr. O'Neill just stared at her for a second. Before giving a soft smile. "That's a perfectly healthy-"

"You forgot to be an only child." Daria said casually.

To her surprise Quinn responded. "Yeah that one would be nice to."

Mr. O'Neill looked back and forth between the two. "That's uh-um perfectly natural behavior for siblings. I think..." The bell rang. "We can talk more about this tomorrow. Class dismissed."

-Morgendorffer's Home-

The phone was ringing, Jake answered. "Um- Hi Jake Morgendorffer here." He paused for a moment. "No you mean Quinn..." His face turned to shock. "Oh- ok. Daria! Tom's on the phone."

Daria sat on the couch reading. She cocked her eyebrow and put the book down. Why is he calling? She wondered. She came over and answered the phone.

"Hey Daria it's me Tom."

"Yeah I know."

"Have you eaten dinner yet. I was thinking we could go out for Pizza."

"Are you asking me out? I already told you I don't date."

"No, just as friends. Sort of a welcome to Lawndale thing."

"So your throwing me a party in hell, how sweet."

"Come on - Jane's coming."

Daria thought about it for a moment then looked over at her father. "Yeah sure, can't be any worse than eating at home with my family."

"I consider that a high honor- I'll come pick you up."

Daria walked back over the couch and sat down. She began reading again.

Jake walked out. "Hey, um kiddo."

"You know my self-esteem teacher said being addressed all my life with childish epithets like kiddo is probably a key source of my problem."

"Re-really." Jake said in a panic.

"No."

Jake laughed, pretending he got the joke. Then took a seat beside her. Daria sighed and put her book down.

"You know I've been thinking- maybe it's my fault. Your self-esteem I mean..."

"Trust me the problem runs deeper than you."

"Oh good- I mean bad. I mean I'm glad that I didn't cause your problem- I mean...So who's Tom?" He said changing the subject before he said something stupid, although that was a little to late.

"He's a member of the biker gang...He wants me to be his old lady." She looked at her fathers expression of horror. "I'm kidding- he's a guy from school." The expression didn't change. "Who along with my friend Jane - who is female - or so I have been told, are just getting a pizza."

Jake smiled. "Oh good! Friends... I wish I had friends to get pizza with instead of those devils at-" A honking horn was heard outside.

"Sorry dad. My rides here."

Jake stopped suddenly. He seemed confused. "Oh- um-uh...Bye?"

-Pizza King-

"So what are your guys plans for tomorrow." Tom asked as he stared at the last piece of Pizza. Seemingly waiting for his moment to grab it. However Jane quickly grabbed the piece.

"Hey that was mine." Tom said with a fake whine.

"Snooze you lose. Any who I'm planning to catch the new episode of Sick Sad World."

"You watch Sick Sad World?" Daria asked, although some how she had expected it.

"Yeah, have for years. You?"

"Same. Mostly cause their's nothing better on."

"Same here." Jane said before taking a bite of pizza. "Wanna come over-" She then added "we can give each other home perms and talk about guys we like."

"And then the following homicide would be justified." Daria then noticed Tom had been staring at her. It was an odd look that Daria was uncomfortable with. She felt herself blush slightly and she looked away.

"You don't have to be so wary - I don't bite." Tom said.

"Unfortunately I might- the doctors aren't sure if violence is one of the symptoms yet." Daria replied.

"I'll take my chances." Tom quipped back. A faux flirtation in his voice.

Daria just looked away, she didn't know whether she should be angry or embarrassed.

"I'm just kidding." Tom quickly added. "Anyway sad I can't make it - my mom has in a rare event roped me into one of her 'family time' attempts. Just me, my parents, and my sister - one afternoon of talking about life." He then shrugged. "You know until my dad has to answer a call from the office and my sister locks herself in her room. I then spend the evening reading, studying, or playing video games until dinner. All in all quite productive."

"A few gender changes and it sounds almost like a typical afternoon at my house." Daria stated. "Except in that case we both lock ourselves in our rooms."

"Dysfunctional families are fun." Jane said with a strange grin.

-Sloane's Home-

"I'm glad we're all here today. I was reading a book on healthy family relationships and it said that if families don't spend enough quality time together then they could grow distant in their later years." Kay said with a smile.

"You still have yet to point out the negative part of this mom." Elsie spoke, almost completely withdrawn from the conversation, only taking a brief moment to stare up at Tom before thumbing through a magazine absentmindedly.

"Now Elsie I know you don't mean that." Her mother quickly added.

Tom look over at the clock on the wall. 5....4....

"I agree completely dear-"

"we should spend more time with our ki-" There was a ringing phone. In the life of the wealthy there is only one way to stay wealthy. Angier answered the phone. "Yeah- no that can't be! I'll be down in one second!" He hung up. "Emergency honey, I have to go right now."

"What happened?"

"Big problem, but if I get there now I can patch it up. I'll tell you all about it later." He gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and quickly made his way out the door.

"Well I guess we can still..." She looked around, Elsie was already gone. "Your sister ran off again."

"Yep."

"What about..." She just sighed and sat down as Tom left the room, for a brief moment he looked back at his mother, but she appeared to be alright so he headed back to his room.

-Morgendorffer's Home-

Daria entered her home and began to quickly make her way up the stairs, but she got to the top to find Quinn. "Hello sis..."

"Oh are we back to sibling, to bad I was just getting used to the only child thing."

"Ok Daria listen I know your friend - Jess or whatever her name is-"

"Jane."

"Whatever, she knows the answers to the test and I want out." Daria just stared at her, although she wondered if Quinn somehow knew her and Jane's plan.

"Why would I help you? Or to be more precise, how much are you willing to pay."

"I could make you more popular."

"Enjoy class." Daria pushed her way past Quinn.

Quinn gave her a nasty look. "Fine twenty."

"Nope, I can't be bought."

"Since when!"

Daria just grinned as she went into her room and shut the door.

Quinn dashed into her room and slammed the door.

A little while later the phone rang. Quinn answered it. "Hello..."

"Hey is Daria home?" Tom asked.

"Why would you be calling her?" Quinn said, her tone of voice was filled with obvious anger at the mention of Daria's name. Tom decided to just brush it off.

"I need to discuss where to hide the body." Tom said sarcastically.

"Ewwwww."

"I was kidding. Just wanted to talk."

"Please hold on. Daria phone!" She said with a strange mix of confusion and excitement. So she's got a secret boyfriend. Quinn thought to herself. Could if be the cute guy she was with before?

"Hey." Daria said.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you about the assignment for history class."

"That will be 15 dollars for the first ten minutes and an extra dollar for every extra minute." Tom was silent for awhile before Daria continued. "I was kidding...maybe."

"No I knew that- um I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Want to go out sometime?"

Daria could feel herself blushing. "I don't date. I mentioned that already!" Her voice was a mix of uncertainty and anger.

"Date? I met to the library or somewhere. We could study together." Tom said, just a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Your lying."

"That hurts, but seriously it might be good to study together sometime." He paused for a moment before adding. "I mean Jane as well of course...and there would be pizza"

Daria considered it for a moment. "I'll think about it."

-Lane's House-

Jane's phone rang. She quickly picked up the phone. It was Tom on the other end.

"Hey Tom, you need something."

"Yeah - wanna start a study group."

"Are you proposing I would spend time after school to study as opposed to something valuable like watching TV?"

"If there was a higher ratio on pizza and a lower ratio on actual studying then sure."

"This is an excuse for you to hang out with Daria isn't it."

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yes."Jane responded with a smirk."Well my afternoons are about to become much more free thanks to Daria"

"What do you mean?"

"We're gonna bust out of Self-esteem class and liberate the school. There should be casualties so bring a camera."

"Get me a human head if possible."

"Will do. Anyway back to the study group you better not expect me to play match maker. You shouldn't force her to become your girlfriend."

"Why you think I'm coming on to strong?"

"Yeah you should tone it down a notch, your a nice guy. If she ends up becoming interested then it'll happen, but right now forcing it will just make her angry."

"Alright I'll slow down-"

Jane then added. "Also I feel like extra cheese. Make that three pizzas and I get the leftovers to bring home"

"Excuse me." Tom remarked, a bit confused by her comment.

"For the 'study' session, don't make promise you can't keep." Tom sighed on the other end of the line. "See you later amigo." Jane said, a smirk across her face.

-Lawndale High/Self-esteem classes-

The next day they took the self-esteem class, Mr. O'Neill fell for it just as expected however..

-Morgendorffer's Home-

"Your going to be on stage receiving a prestigious honor." On the phone Tom said this gleefully, although he was probably being sarcastic. "You should be more cheerful about it."

"You should be less cheerful about it. Either way I don't think being rewarded for completing a test I should have never had to do and cheated to finish is exactly honorable."

"Of course it is. If you can put it on your college application." Tom replied.

"I think this one would keep me out of college." Daria stated, but then she added. "Although my self-esteem is at such a high state I think I'll forgo college altogether and just marry rich."

"Don't look at me." Tom replied.

"Someone's bipolar."

"Yeah, but I don't need a trophy wife, at least not until my third one."

"How chivalrous of you..."

"I got to go, but I'll see you tomorrow."

Daria hesitated for a moment before responding. "See you."

They hung up but the phone rang almost instantly. Quinn answered it. "Hello." It was Jane on the other side. She ran over to Daria's room and opened the door. "It's Jane...why are you so popular lately?" She asked in spite.

"Must be my sparkling personality." Daria said as she answer the phone. Quinn stormed off. "Hey Jane."

"Your sister sounds peeved. She must be really ticked off."

"Really I hadn't noticed, this is our usual relationship."

"So my Amiga, what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"I figure we could just wing it."

"Fun."

-Lawndale High/School auditorium-

Tom made his way to a seat and sat beside his sister and the rest of the Fashion Club. "Hey Elsie."

"Why are you here?" Elsie said well looking away from him. Her friends looked at him.

"This is where the popular kids sit right? That's me, mister popular." He responded with a grin.

"Whatever, just leave me alone." Elsie responded.

Quinn whispered to Stacy. "He's Elsie's brother?"

"Yeah, but he's off limits. Elsie says he's supposedly crazy."

That explains why he's dating my sister. "Don't worry I wasn't think about that, I was just wondering." To bad though, he's kind of cute.

She looked up when she heard laughter just in time to see her sisters friend run off stage. Her sister then began a speech. It was all painful boring until-

"And so, the one person I'd like to thank more than any other is my very own sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. My sister Quinn has forgotten more about self-esteem than I'll ever know. Are you out there, sis? Stand up and let me thank you." Stacy and Sandi turned to Quinn who was beginning to freak out.

"I thought she was your cousin." Sandi said in a judgmental voice.

"Sh-she is, it's a misunderstanding. Sometime she blurts out untrue things. Um a- a-"

Elsie just grinned and added. "A compulsive lair?"

"Yeah! Whenever she talks about our family she lies!" Quinn cried out.

"Smooth." Tom responded to himself.

"What my skin? Is it clear? Do you like it?" Tiffany asked.

Tom stared at her for a moment before responding. "Sure, by the way where did you get that third eye in the middle of your forehead."

"What?" She pulled out a mirror and checked as he quickly got up and moved seats.

-Morgendorffer's Home-

"Then Daria made a big deal about thanking me!" Quinn said with her arms crossed.

"That was sweet of her." Helen said cheerfully.

"She's trying to ruin me!" Quinn squealed. "I just barely covered the damage she's caused."

"Now come on Quinn are you sure that your not just upset because she got out of Self-esteem class first?" Helen asked. "You know we aren't any less proud of you honey." She looked over to Jake. "Right Jake." Jake just poked at his meatloaf. "Jake!"

"Huh yeah! We're really proud of you Quinn!" Jake quickly added.

"Thank you." Helen said before turning to Quinn. "Tell you what this weekend we can go shopping. I'll buy you anything you want."

"You know there where these very nice shoes I saw in a catalogue of Elsie's that I would really like." Quinn hinted softly.

"Really then we can get those-" Helen began before Quinn cut her off.

"They can only be imported. There about five hundred dollars plus shipping and handling. Latest design even Elsie won't be getting them and they won't ever be coming to the US."

Jake freaked out. "Over five hundred dollars!"

"Calm down Jake- Quinn that is rather absorbent for a pair of shoes."

"I guess you don't care about my Self-esteem." She began to feign crying as she added "I guess it's all about Daria I should just go to my room and-"

Helen sighed. "Show me the catalogue and we'll see."

"Ok!" Quinn said cheerfully.

Jake looked around. "Is Daria with Tom?" He said with some concern.

"Yeah." Quinn said. "Can you believe she's going out and not me."

Helen looked at the two of them. Surprised that both Quinn and Jake knew something she didn't. "Who's Tom?!"

Both Quinn and Jake spoke at the same time- "He's her boyfriend(Quinn)/He's her friend(Jake)"

"Boyfriend!" Helen said shocked.

-Sloane's Home-

"Girl controls killer puppets with magic horn - deadly dolls of doom. Next on Sick Sad World."

"We should really study." Daria said as they watched old episodes of Sick Sad World Tom had collected. She looked down at the Three boxes of Pizza and then to the soda. "Then again we shouldn't waste the pizza."

"And we do know everything about what their teaching right now" Tom added "which we'll never need anyway."

"And I couldn't care less." Jane added. "Hand me another soda."

Tom handed her another soda. "Let's just look at this as a way to prepare for the hell that is sure to follow us throughout the year. We can study next time." He suggested, a smile upon his face.

"You forgot 'and into the summer'." Jane added somewhat imitating his voice.

"And sure to follow us into the 'real' world." Daria added.

The three clinked their cans together.

-Morgendorffer's Home-

Daria walked back into her house after waving good bye to Tom and Jane. She was instantly greeted by her mother. "Daria you have a boyfriend! I'm so happy for you, is there anything you'd like to talk to me about! You know I'm always here." Daria just let out an aggravated sigh. She already put together what was going on - and Quinn - well Quinn was going to suffer.