Summary: Quinn's first attempt at making a friend with an actual I.Q.


Notes: This series was originally conceived before the release of IICY, try to keep that in mind while you read.Thanks to a suggestion made by Mike Yamiolkoski I have finally found a name for my series: The Quinn Diaries. It actually seems like the obvious choice now that I think about it.


Thanks: To Thomas, as always, for beta reading my story.


The Outcast
by Huggy

Scene 1: A used clothes store at the mall. There is a young guy at the register wearing a punk outfit. Quinn walks in dragging several bags full of clothes.

Punk Guy (surprised): Um, can I help you?

Quinn (sounding tired): Yeah, you buy old clothes right?

Punk Guy: Yeah. You don't really look like the type of person we usually do business with.

Quinn: I heard about this place from my sister Daria, she bought some clothes here a couple of times.

Punk Guy: Oh! So you're the annoying, egocentric, pain in the...

Quinn (interrupting): Yes, I'm Quinn. Now do you want to buy this stuff or not?

Punk Guy (looks through one of the bags): I'll buy it, but you won't get much. I doubt I can sell any of this junk.

Quinn (annoyed): Fine, I just want to get rid of them.

Punk Guy: Where did you get all of these clothes anyway?

Quinn (confused): I bought them.

Punk Guy (laughs): You've got to have a different outfit for every day of the year in here.

Quinn: It's a requirement if you want to be in the Fashion Club.

Punk Guy: Sounds like some kind of cult.

Quinn (serious): Pretty much.

Girl (OS, monotone): Hey Paul, I think I found what I was looking for.

Cut to: A skinny girl with short, brown hair, holding up a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

Punk Guy\Paul (sarcastic): Gee Kyra, you sure you don't want something a little less colorful?

Kyra: How can I keep up with the competition if I don't have the right clothes? Who's the Britney Speares look-alike?

Paul; Oh yeah, you remember me telling you about Daria? This is her sister, Quinn. Apparently, Quinn is a recently rehabilitated fashion cultist.

Kyra: So Quinn, how does it feel to have your brain back?

Quinn: This is so weird. You two talk just like Daria.

Kyra: The secret language of cynics and outcast, created solely to confuse the socially blessed people of the world.

Quinn: Okay, I suppose that's better than saying you talk like that so you can laugh at people when they don't know what you're talking about.

Paul: Isn't it. You see, Kyra here has made it her personal mission to make all of the stupid people in the world look even stupider.

Quinn (sarcastically): What a noble occupation. The people of your planet must be very proud.

Kyra: Ooh, not bad. I guess some good genes got through to you after all.

Quinn: Do you go to high school around here? I don't think I've seen you around before.

Kyra: No, I just moved into town a few days ago. Monday will be my first day, any words of wisdom you care to share will be appreciated.

Quinn: This could take a while...

Cut to: Outside. Quinn and Kyra are walking on the sidewalk.

Quinn: I think I've covered everything except for the faculty so far. There are a lot of things you have to watch out for here. Mr. O'Neal doesn't really look like much of a problem at first, but he can be very dangerous when it comes to homework. Try to avoid anything he refers to as extra credit or a special assignment. You should also watch what you say around him, he has a gift for twisting words around until whatever crazy idea he's come up with can be pinned on you.

Kyra: A man who uses homework as a punishment, he sounds like pure evil.

Quinn: He doesn't do it to punish you; he seems to think the students are having as much fun as he is.

Kyra: Oh joy, an eternal optimist. The glass is always half-full... of...I'm not sure what.

Quinn: Tell me about it. Next, is Mr. DeMartino. You shouldn't have any problems if you can answer a question he asks you, but if he doesn't ask you directly try to limit yourself. If you ask him about Vietnam he will talk through the entire hour, which is a lot of help if you have to finish an assignment for another class.

Kyra: What education would be complete without a traumatized teacher?

Quinn: Because of him there are plenty of traumatized students, too. Now we have Ms. Barch, she's your classic bitter divorcee. You should get along just fine as long as you never say anything positive about a man. Her and O'Neal have been going out for a few years now and they both seem to think no one has figured it out yet.

Kyra: Sounds like a very perceptive woman.

Quinn: The only person left that you really need to worry about is Ms. Li. Personally I think she would be better at running a prison, but they have too many laws about cruel and unusual punishment for her to even get a job mopping the floors at a place like that.

Kyra: (very sarcastic) This sounds like it's going to be loads of fun. Do you think it's too late for me to get into military school?

Quinn: (laughs) Maybe you should talk to my dad about his school days before you consider something that drastic.

Kyra: Ooh, a refugee in the family; sounds interesting.

CU: Quinn gives an amused smirk.


Scene 2: Quinn's room. She's at her desk writing in her diary.

Quinn (writing VO): I think I actually made a friend today. I met this girl at the mall and even though she acts a lot like Daria we got along pretty well. Surprising, huh? She just moved into town a few days ago and she's going to be going to school here, so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other. Who knows, maybe we'll get to be as close as Daria and Jane are. I hope I can have at least one friend like that.

Quinn closes the diary, gets up and puts it under her mattress.


Scene 3: Later that night. Quinn is watching TV in the living room, when Helen walks in and gets the "time to be a mother" look on her face.

TV announcer: What happened when this man refused to move his home to make room for a freeway? "Life In The Carpool Lane", next on Sick, Sad World!

Quinn: (annoyed) I've only been watching this show for a couple of weeks! How can I be seeing nothing but reruns?!

Helen: (saccharine voice) Hello, honey. How was your day?

Quinn: Um, okay, I guess.

Helen: Really? Did anything interesting happen?

Quinn: Well, I went to the mall and sold a bunch of my old clothes.

Helen: (shocked) You...sold your...clothes?

Quinn: Not all of them mom, just a bunch of junk I didn't need anymore.

Helen: But, aren't you worried that something will come back into style? You've been using that as an excuse not to clean out your closet for years.

Quinn: We've talked about this mom. The Fashion Club is definitely moronic and possibly evil, so any ideas that correspond to theirs can be similarly labeled. Therefore, fashion and style are no longer important to me.

Helen: Uh, okay. Did anything else happen today?

Quinn: Actually, there is something. I met this girl in the store. She seems pretty great.

Helen: Oh really? Is she new in town?

Quinn: Yeah, her name's Kyra Martin. She said that her family just moved here a few days ago.

Helen: Well, maybe I'll get to meet them sometime. You seem to be recovering from quitting the Fashion Club pretty quickly, honey. To tell you the truth I wouldn't have thought you could do something like this a few months ago. I'm really very proud of you.

Quinn: (uncomfortable) Thanks, I guess.

Helen's cell phone rings.

Helen: Excuse me honey, but I've got to take this call.

Helen walks out of the room leaving Quinn with a very relieved look on her face.


Scene 4: Monday morning. LHS hallway. Quinn is walking down the hall when she spots Kyra at a locker.

Quinn: Hey, Kyra.

Kyra: (monotone): Oh good, now I can have an assisted suicide.

Quinn (giggles): I guess things haven't gotten of to a great start.

Kyra: I had to talk to a school shrink who knows less about psychology than my big toe. Then a female version of Hitler spent half an hour lecturing me about how I should do everything I can to bring honor to the school, before running off mumbling something about there being another one. All in all, I'm praying for the apocalypse.

Quinn: You're going to have to get used to Ms. Li's speeches. Most of the time when she says we should bring honor to the school she's actually looking for a way to replace the money she's taken out of the budget. So, have you gotten your classes assigned yet?

Kyra: Oh yeah, it looks like I have worse luck than I thought. I have Demartino, Barch, then O'Neal for my first three classes. I get to see everyone you warned me about before lunch.

Quinn (faux dramatic): I pity you, really I do. But, I'll be suffering right beside you in O'Neal's class.

Kyra: Well, I guess there's a chance one of us will survive now. I'll see you then.

Quinn: Yeah, later.


Scene 5: Hallway. Stacy is standing by the lockers in the middle of a small gathering of students.

Stacy (clears her throat): As the secretary for the Fashion Club I would like to announce that we have an opening for a new member at the vice-presidential level. Only the most attractive and popular people will be considered, but I suggest that all of you apply because all new admissions will be on a trial basis and there's a chance that we will go through several people before we decide on a permanent new member.

Girl 1: Didn't your vice-president quit because she thought you were all idiots?

Stacy (nervously): I think she said something like that.

Girl 1: So why should we apply if you're so annoying Quinn couldn't stand to be around you?

Stacy: Because being a member is a statement of your popularity. Only the most attractive and popular people are allowed in the club.

Girl 2: But Quinn is the most popular girl in school. If she thinks the Fashion Club is nothing but a bunch of idiots wouldn't she think the same thing about me if I joined?

Stacy (confused/nervous): I don't think that Quinn is going to be that popular anymore.

Girl 3: All of the guys still want to go out with her. She still looks good. Isn't that what being popular is all about?

Stacy: Well, yeah. But...

Girl 1: But what? It looks like it doesn't really matter if you're in the Fashion Club or not. If I were you I'd start thinking about quitting myself.

The group walks off, leaving Stacy to hyperventilate by herself for a while.


Scene 6: Later. O'Neal's room. Kyra and Quinn are sitting next to each other, both looking bored out of their minds.

Kyra (serious): I can't believe it. I actually am in hell. It shouldn't be possible, but this place actually is worse than my old school.

Quinn (concerned): I take it your other classes didn't go so well?

Kyra: I just spent an hour listening to Ms. Barch's theory that women are going to take over the world through evolution.

Quinn (surprised): Uh, wha... How did she come up with that?

Kyra: The whole thing is based on this genetic disorder called Klinefelter syndrome when a man has two X-chromosomes and a Y-chromosome. She says they're trying to become women.

Quinn: Man, she really is starting to lose it.

Kyra: I guess I should be relieved to know that this isn't normal behavior for her.

O'Neal (in front of class): Excuse me, class! I have a very exciting assignment for you today.

Cut to: Class. All of the students have slightly scared looks on their faces.

Quinn (quiet/miserable): Oh no.

O'Neal: I want you to write an essay about what you think could be done to make the educational process more enjoyable. Just think to yourself, "School would be more fun if..."

Kyra (thoughtfully): Education would be more fun if... it weren't for the educators.

Quinn (playing along): If you didn't have to worry about getting searched when an earring sets off one of the metal detectors hidden in the walls.

Everyone looks at Quinn a little oddly.

Quinn (defensive): What? Hey, I saw a wire and it wasn't for the vending machine.

O'Neal (trying to salvage his idea): Um, those were both very good tries girls, but it's not exactly what I had in mind. Maybe I should clarify this a little.

Kyra (sotto): Good one.

Quinn (sotto): You didn't do too bad yourself.


Scene 7: LHS cafeteria. Quinn and Kyra are sitting alone at a table.

Kyra (holding a fork with a less than appetizing blob on it): What exactly is this stuff we're eating?

Quinn: I'm pretty sure it's the spaghetti we had last week, I don't know what they're calling it now.

Kyra: Public school at it's best. I guess I won't be eating any more of this.

Quinn: You've already had two bites. If you're doomed to die of food poisoning anyway, you might as well do it on a full stomach.

Kyra (standing up): Excuse me; I think I should go to the bathroom.

Quinn: Do you feel sick?

Kyra (walking away): Not yet, but any minute now.


Scene 8: Restroom. The Fashion Club walks in.

Sandi: I have called this emergency meeting of the Fashion Club to discuss new admissions. Since the traitor Quinn has left us to consort with the unpopular we have an opening for vie-president. Stacy, do we have any recent applicants that fit our standards?

Stacy (nervous): Um, well, no. No, we don't.

Sandi: Okay. Do we have any that we could work with? Maybe we could get someone just a little less than perfect.

Stacy (more nervous): N-no, we don't have any like that either Sandi.

Sandi (surprised): What? Stacy we have to fill this position with somebody, so find someone. It's not like people have stopped trying to get in.

Stacy; Well, actually Sandi they have.

Sandi (deadly tone): Excuse me? What are you talking about, Stacy?

Stacy: Well...you see...the thing is...

Sandi: What is it Stacy? Just spit it out!

Stacy (hyperspeech): Since Quinn quit and she's like the most popular girl in the school, people are starting to think that maybe we're not popular enough for her. And if we're not popular enough for her than maybe we're not popular enough for them and...and...

Sandi: And what?!

Stacy: And no ones been applying! Even the unpopular people won't join because they're afraid we'll make then less popular.

Sandi: Quinn! That little...How do we fix this?

Tiffany (it speaks): Get Quinn back.

Sandi (annoyed) What?

Tiffany (casual): Well. If we're unpopular because she quit, than maybe people will decide we're popular again if Quinn rejoins.

Sandi: Are you nuts? She's the reason for all of this and you want me to ask her to join the club again. She humiliated us! She called us idiots!

Stacy: Yeah, but she's the best chance we have to be popular again.

Sandi: All right! I'll consider asking her to rejoin, but only as a last resort. We still have a few more options.

Stacy: Like what?

Sandi: First, we're throwing a party this weekend. We spare no expense and we have the best party of the year. Second, from now on, no matter who asks you out you tell him you already have a date. If we throw a really great party and we're always out on dates no one will think we're unpopular. All in favor?

All: I!!

The Fashion Club leaves, after a moment Brook walk out of a stall. Kyra walks in while Brook is washing her hands.

Brook: Oh, hey! You're Quinn's new friend, right?

Kyra (uncomfortable): Yeah.

Brook: So, I guess you're going to be Miss Popularity pretty soon, huh?

Kyra (confused): What do you mean?

Brook: You know! Quinn's, like, the most popular person in school since she quit the Fashion Club. She's even got the Fashion Club thinking about asking her to come back because people are starting to think they're not popular anymore. Any friend of her is going to be just as popular.

Kyra: I didn't know that.

Brook (unbelieving): Sure you didn't. Listen; do you think you could, maybe, put in a good word for me with Quinn? I don't have to hang out with you or anything, but I thought the two of you might let me walk down the hall with you or something like that.

Kyra (not sure how to react): Um, I guess I could mention something.

Brook (as she leaves): Great. Thanks!

CU: Kyra with a sad look on her face.


Scene 9: Art class. Kyra and Quinn are standing in front of easels painting. Ms. Defoe is wandering around the background watching students work.

Quinn: Where did you disappear to at lunch? You never came back from the bathroom.

Kyra: Nowhere. I just got kind of side tracked.

Quinn: Okay. Listen, I was thinking maybe you could come over to my house tonight. We could order a pizza, maybe watch a little TV, and pretend we don't have to come back here in the morning. What do you think?

Kyra (sighs): I think we should quit this.

Quinn (looks at her canvas): Oh, come on. I'm doing pretty good at this. You could use a little practice, though.

Kyra: That's not what I was talking about.

Quinn: What were you talking about?

Kyra: Quinn, I don't think we're going to be able to be friends.

Quinn (shocked): What? Why not?!

Kyra (uncomfortable): Well, I was talking to this girl at lunch today. She said the Fashion Club is planning to ask you to come back because you quitting has actually made them less popular.

Quinn: So what? It's not like I would ever think about going back. I mean, they're barely literate.

Kyra: That's not what I'm worried about Quinn. I'm an outcast, a brain, a nerd, whatever you want to call it. It's not the greatest job in the world but it's where I'm comfortable. How can I be the best friend of the girl so popular she brought down the Fashion Club just by quitting? I can't do that without becoming popular and I don't want that.

Quinn (a little on edge): Let me get this straight. You can't be my friend because you're afraid of what it might do to your image. What the hell kind of outcast are you?!

Kyra (sadly) I'm sorry Quinn, but I can't be popular. People just expect too much of you when you have that much influence.

Quinn (angry): I can't believe this! You're not cynical and unpopular because that's who you are, you're cynical and unpopular because you like the look. You're nothing but a freaking poser!

Kyra (defensive): That's not true! I'm like this because I don't want people to look at me and think 'She's really pretty, she must be an idiot'! I'm like this because when a girl is pretty, and popular, and optimistic, people never think she has anything intelligent to say! I'm...

Quinn (calmly): You're Sandi Griffin with different taste in clothes.

Quinn walks out leaving behind a classroom full of surprised and confused students.


Scene 11: Later. The Morgendorffers are having dinner. Quinn is looking very depressed, Helen seems a little concerned, and Jake is oblivious, as usual.

Helen (motherly): Quinn is everything all right?

Quinn (monotone): Why do you ask?

Helen: Well, it's just that you seem a little upset and you were in such a good mood yesterday. I thought something might have happened.

Quinn (still monotone): I thought I had a chance to make a real friend and I was wrong. I guess I'll just struggle through high school by myself. Oh well, life goes on.

Helen: Quinn, don't be so negative. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would love to be your friend.

Quinn: There are hundreds, but they only want to be my friends because they think it will make them popular. The only person I was interested in talking to said we couldn't be friends because I was too popular. I live in a world so shallow even the least popular person in school is worried about her image. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my room to sink even deeper into my depression.

Quinn gets up and leaves the room.

Jake (looks up from his paper looking confused): Um, Helen? Did you hear Daria talking a minute ago?

Helen (sighs tiredly): I was just going to ask you the same thing.


Scene 12: Quinn's room. Quinn is lying on her bed writing in her diary.

Quinn (writing VO): Today Kyra told me that we couldn't be friends because I'm too popular. A month ago hearing someone say that would have been great, now it is just depressing. I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's too late. Maybe I waited too long to start trying to live like a normal person. How can I have gotten to a point where I am so popular that I'm completely alone? Kyra was not the person she pretended to be. Maybe her cynical behavior and unpopularity are actually part of who she is, but she made the choice to put them there. I didn't have that kind of choice. I became unreachable without even realizing it and I think this experience has made me more than a little cynical. In this case at least I am the real outcast. I kind of feel sorry for Kyra, she doesn't really know who she is. She's just living up to whatever label people decide to put on her. When she gets out of high school she isn't going to know what to do. Hell, I don't know what I'm going to do either, but at least I'll know who I am. I think.

Quinn puts the diary back under her bed and stares at the ceiling for a while, and then she gets up and walks to her door. Just before she turns the knob to open the door she looks over her shoulder. When she sees her reflection in the mirror in the corner she is shocked at how alone she looks.

THE END
Roll credits
Music: Outside by Staind



More Notes: This story took longer to write than it did to write both of the previous ones. If it keeps going like this it may be a few years before I finish the series, but don't worry I will finish it even if no one is left interested in reading it.