LE DEJUNER CHEZ DARIA

A Tale of Young Daria

Galen Hardesty

Daria glanced at the clock and laid aside The Three Musketeers. Time to feed the beast. She ambled toward the kitchen. Another idyllic Saturday in Highland, Texas.

Daria opened the refrigerator. Crap. Someone was delinquent on grocery shopping. One black banana and some buttermilk well on the way to becoming bleu cheese. Not even any leftover macaroni. Opening the meat drawer, she found one wiener. The vegetable crisper held some celery and a green onion, starting to go limp.

As the wiener writhed in the pan of boiling water, Daria remembered Quinn. Even though she was a sixth grader now, and would soon (shudder) be in junior high with her, Helen still expected Daria to see that she was fed. "Maybe she’ll eat lunch at one of her friends’ houses." Daria thought, eyeing her meager repast.

A peek out the side window revealed that her luck was running true to form. Here came the perky one even now. Unsurprised, Daria fell back on brains.

Quinn entered the kitchen a minute later. "What’s for lunch?" she demanded, without so much as a "Hi" for preface.

Daria turned from setting a bowl, spoon, and napkin on the table. "I was about to have some Consomme’ de Vienne."

"What’s that?" Quinn asked, drifting toward the table. The bowl contained clear, nearly colorless liquid with a few small dark green rings from a green onion and a single three-leaved sprig of celery.

"A delicate essence of cochon et poulet, lightly seasoned with savory herbs. But there’s only one serving. Here’s a wiener for you." Back by the range, Daria held it up between thumb and forefinger.

Quinn wrinkled her tiny adorable nose at the wiener. "I think I’d prefer the Consomme’ de Vienne, if you don’t mind."

Daria quickly covered her look of distress with her usual poker face. "I don’t think you’d like it, Quinn. The flavor is subtle. It’s for people with refined tastes. This wiener’s much better. It’ll put meat on your bones." She wiggled the wiener enticingly.

"Fat, you mean. If it’s so much better, you eat it." Quinn sat down firmly at Daria’s place at the table and picked up the spoon.

Trying vainly to hide her disappointment, Daria squeezed a line of catsup and one of mustard onto a piece of bread and folded the wiener into it, then sloped back to the den and The Three Musketeers.

As she delicately slurped the savory wiener water, Quinn felt a tiny bit guilty about sticking Daria with the wiener, but it soon passed.

La la LA la la

Disclaimer

 "Daria" and all related characters are trademarks of MTV Networks, a division of Viacom International, inc. The author does not claim copyright to these characters or to anything else in the "Daria" milieu; he does, however, claim copyright to all those parts of this work of fiction which are original to him and not to MTV or to other fanfic authors. This fanfic may be freely copied and distributed provided its contents remain unchanged, provided the author's name and email address are included, and provided that the distributor does not use it for monetary profit. (as if.)

  Galen Hardesty [gehardesty@yahoo.com]