(Opening sequence. Music: "You’re Standing On My Neck" by Splendora.1

Daria and Lynn sit side by side in Ms Li’s office, looking warily at each other.

Daria and AP standing outside the Morgendorffer house, kissing. Jake rushes out the front door waving a golf club over his head in a threatening manner.

Daria behind the wheel of Lynn’s car, with AP leaning around behind her to yell at Sandi and Tiffany, who are driving next to them. Flying hair indicates that they are going at speed.

LHS corridor. Quinn walks past Daria, Jane, Lynn and AP wearing an outfit much like one that Daria or Lynn would wear – rose pink cardigan, cream turtleneck, knee-length denim skirt and flats.

LHS corridor. Lynn walks past Daria and Jane wearing something that Quinn would wear – purple T-shirt showing off her midriff, black boot leg jeans, high heels.

Nightclub dance floor. Daria gets shoved to the floor by a sneering burly lout of a guy. Jane and AP, standing behind him, look at each other and then they both hit him.

Hospital corridor. Daria holds her head in her hands – obviously crying. Trent, looking nervous, puts an arm around her.

Nightclub stage. Lynn, looking resigned, slings Trent’s guitar over her shoulder.

Lynn’s room. Daria and Lynn sit side-by-side, staring at the computer screen. They turn to each other at the same time, stricken looks on their faces.

Daria and Lynn side-by-side again, smirking slightly. As the original montage sequence, the camera pulls in and then out again to reveal two interlocking circles; one contains the Daria logo and the other contains a corresponding ‘Lynn’ version. Underneath are the words: "Daria in…"


(A Daria Fan Fiction – Episode 12 of "The Look-Alike Series" Season 2)

(Scene: LHS cafeteria. Music: "Drain You" – Nirvana. Lynn and AP are seated at a table.)

Lynn: So it all worked out in the end? (no discernible irony) I’m glad.2

AP: Yeah, well, it’s nice to know that we can be … you know … adult about these things. (beat) So … and hit me if I’m prying but … I guess you know I know about you and Sir Naps-a-Lot?3

Lynn: (wary) Yeah…

AP: (hesitant) Well … you and he … you’re…

Lynn: (sigh) There has been no real discussion about Trent and I becoming an item as yet. I suppose it’s possible – although perhaps it smacks slightly too much of Donny and Marie.4

AP: Come again?

(Lynn rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to explain … but Daria approaches the table from AP’s side carrying a bag lunch and Jane approaches from Lynn’s side with a tray. They each stop as they see the other approaching and glare at each other. Lynn and AP look at the two in confusion.)

Lynn: Hi, guys. (beat) The school food might bite, but the seats don’t…

(Daria and Jane break their glare and turn away, walking off in opposite directions and finding tables. Lynn and AP look at Daria, then at Jane, then at each other.)

AP: So … now what?

Lynn: You talk to Daria. I’ll talk to Jane. We meet up later and compare notes.

(They nod at each other and get up.)

(Scene: LHS corridor. Music plays on. AP wanders up to Lynn’s locker.)

AP: Two words and two words only. ‘Not speaking’.

Lynn: (groan) Oh yeah. We may as well just rename them Scylla and Charybdis.5

AP: Come again?

Lynn: You are Daria’s boyfriend and therefore exempt from this. But I am what is known as the mutual friend and therefore am expected to take sides by both parties. (extends right hand) Rock. (extends left hand) Hard place. (hands together) Me.6

AP: Oh. Yeah. Ouch. So what are you going to do?

Lynn: Take the fence-sitter line. Encourage both of them to put aside their differences and be neutral. What else is there to do?

AP: So you have to be … um … diplomatic? (stifled snigger) Good luck…

(Lynn punches him on the shoulder. AP grins. Lynn sighs.)

(Scene: LHS corridor. Music: "Would" - Alice In Chains. Daria and Lynn are standing at the lockers. Jane passes by and she and Daria glare at each other. Lynn rolls her eyes but waits until Jane is out of sight before speaking her mind.)

Lynn: Isn’t this getting a little excessive?

Daria: She all but called me a bossy arrogant cold fish.

Lynn: And you called her … what was it again? Oh yeah, sounded a lot like "whining manipulative man-trap".

Daria: If the boot fits... (mutter) I wish I’d never been her friend at all.

(Lynn turns on Daria angrily)

Lynn: I always knew you were a little defensive, but I never thought you were stupid.

Daria: (shocked) Excuse me?

Lynn: You don’t know WHAT your life would have been like – what ANY of our lives would have been like – if you and Jane hadn’t been friends. I mean, remember chaos theory – a butterfly flaps its wings in Kyoto and a hurricane levels Philadelphia.7

Daria: I think you’re being over-simplistic…

Lynn: I think YOU’RE being narrow-minded and stubborn. Every little thing we do changes the world – even if it IS in a small and potentially detrimental way. Just remember that before you make stupid little wishes without remembering that there are consequences.

(Lynn storms off, leaving Daria completely thrown.)

Daria: (slowly) Um … okay…

(Scene: Daria’s room. Music plays on. Daria sits on her bed in normal nightwear, looking despondent.)

Daria: This is stupid. I mean, why should I be getting so upset over this? What do I care what Jane thinks of me? Or Lynn? (beat) I’m doing it again. Talking to myself and waiting for a reply. And even though I realise this, I have yet to stop. (beat) Oh, shut up and go to bed, Daria!

(And she promptly follows her own advice. Music fades as lights go out.)

(Scene: A darkened room. Daria, in daywear, is standing in the centre of a large space, looking confused.)

Daria: Hello…

(A voice, young and female, comes out of the gloom.)

Voice: (OS) Daria, right?

(The owner of the voice moves forward and reveals herself to be a young woman in her mid-twenties. She has long dark hair and green eyes, and wears jeans, a T-shirt and a long black duster coat.)

Daria: Yes. Who are you? And where are we?

Celeste: They call me Celeste. And we are currently inhabiting limbo. Welcome to it. Shouldn’t be too much different from … Lawndale, wasn’t it? (pulls a notebook out of her pocket and flips through it faster than she should be able to.) Yep, Lawndale. That’s the one.

Daria: How did you know my name?

Celeste: Part of the job description.

Daria: What job description?

Celeste: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

Daria: Try me.

Celeste: Guardian angel.

Daria: I’m dreaming. First singing in a hurricane, then anthropomorphic personifications of the holidays, now guardian angels.8 My subconscious mind hates me.

Celeste: Wake up then.

(There is a pause as Daria obviously tries to do just that and fails.)

Daria: Fine. I’ll accept that. But that’s not proof that you’re an angel.

Celeste: I took you to limbo and you STILL don’t believe me.

Daria: I’m an agnostic. I don’t take leaps of faith.

(Celeste sighs and pulls a mobile phone out of her pocket, hits a button.)

Celeste: (into phone) It’s Celeste. What the hell are you pulling here? (incoherent squawk) She doesn’t believe a word of this. You assign me a teen and it’s a freaking AGNOSTIC, for crying out loud! (incoherent squawk) Do you have any idea how overdone that is? (loud incoherent squawk) Okay, okay; I’ll do it but this had BETTER mean a good grade. (hits a button again, pockets the phone; sigh) Fine. You know you’re not dreaming. So here’s some proof for you.

(She takes off her jacket, revealing a fairly impressive set of wings protruding from her back. She ruffles the feathers on them, then fans them out and beats them a few times, carrying herself a few inches in the air.)

Celeste: Impressed?

Daria: Um … if it was a movie, no. If this is real, yes.

Celeste: So that settles the belief issue. (she slips the coat back on; something registers) That was YOU that got those slacker punks back to the Island? I’m impressed. This shouldn’t be too hard AFTER all.

Daria: That HAPPENED?

Celeste: Sure. It was a big thing in the immortal realm, you know.

Daria: I don’t think I can take this.

Celeste: Don’t let it get you down. (beat) Anyway, I’m basically here to show you the world you might have inhabited if you and Jane hadn’t become friends.

Daria: Oh, GOD, now I’m having an "It’s A Wonderful Life" experience.

Celeste: Hey, look; this is NOT my idea. Basically it breaks down like this – I do the "It’s A Wonderful Life" thing, you learn a valuable lesson, I go back with a really good performance review and maybe get promoted to muse. That’s how it works. Let’s go.

Daria: Go where?

Celeste: Where the streets have no name?

Daria: Great. Not only have I now got a guardian angel, she’s a U2 fan.

END ACT 1 – ADVERTS [Lead-in: Celeste showing off the wings]

The Gap: You all know what The Gap is. I’d personally hesitate to buy jeans that require that much of a (wait for it) song and dance to advertise. Anyway, I hate the Broadway Musical effect.

Clover: Fake butter spread. Another Broadway Musical-style advert. "I’m looking over/a tub of Clover…" and my brain shuts down in self-defence


(Scene: Lawndale street, near a gas station. Daria and Celeste materialise in the middle of the sidewalk. People sort of wander around them without seeing them.)

Daria: So is this like "It’s A Wonderful Life" as in people will see me but not know me, or like "A Christmas Carol" where people can’t see or hear me?

Celeste: Like "A Christmas Carol", if you must know. For now, anyway. Have a look.

(They watch as a very familiar thin raven-haired young man pumps gas into a yellow convertible that we recognise as Sandi’s. Sandi gets out of the car and leans over to Trent.)

Sandi: And, like, I want those windows SPARKLING when I get back. I mean, when you look as good as *I* do, being seen through grubby car windows is SUCH a crime.

Trent: (morose) Sure. No problem.

(Sandi walks into the little snack shack. Cut to Daria, who looks shocked.)

Daria: He got a JOB? He always said he’d never … but what does this have to do with me and Jane not being friends?

Celeste: Well, you remember going to Alternapalooza?9

Daria: You’re not going to show me some flashback, are you?

Celeste: Of course not. There’s nothing to flash back TO. You didn’t GO, because Jane didn’t INVITE you. In fact, you don’t know that Trent EXISTS.

Daria: At least ONE thing’s right in this universe.

Celeste: And you weren’t around to give those words of encouragement that got him to stick with his dreams. So he went out and got the first job he could find, leaving Mystik Spiral completely in the lurch.

Daria: And what happens to Lynn without the band? She was almost enjoying that.10

Celeste: You’ll find out about that in awhile. Can we just get on with standard operating procedure here?

Daria: Fine. What happens to me? Or would that wreck the dramatic moment at the end?

Celeste: What makes you think I’m angling for a dramatic moment?

Daria: The evidence of several very cornball TV sitcoms.

Celeste: Oh, look, we’ve barely started! Can we get on with this, because I have other places to be!

(Daria shrugs, then looks back at Trent, who is washing the windshield of Sandi’s car, with some sadness. Then she and Celeste vanish.)

(Scene: LHS corridor. Daria and Celeste appear. Nothing looks different. Daria looks at Celeste with a raised eyebrow. In reply, she points down the corridor. Jane is standing with Evan from See Jane Run. His arm is casually looped over her shoulder.)

Daria: She’s going OUT with him?

Celeste: There was no one to appeal to her sense of fair play about the whole math test buy thing. Therefore, she stayed on the track team. She started going out with Evan a week after she WOULD have quit.

Daria: Oh. I guess she’s … happy, then.

Celeste: Don’t bet on it.

(She gestures down the hall. Evan embraces Jane.)

Evan: So you’re coming to this kegger, right?

Jane: Not this time, Evan. I’ve really got to study for this math test.

Evan: Oh, come off it, Jane. You’ll get a buy.

Jane: I don’t WANT a buy. I want to pass on my own.

Evan: (sneer) Only LOSERS study. Like her.

(He points down the hall. There is the Daria of THIS universe, looking pretty much the same as always.)

Evan: You don’t want to end up like HER, do you?

Jane: (uncertain) No … but I DO want to say I got an education instead of just a piece of paper.

Evan: You don’t think I’d go out with a GEEK, do you? You want to be a GEEK?

Jane: (miserable) Guess not.

Evan: (cheery) Good. Give me a kiss, and I’ll pick you up at eight.

(Back to Daria and Celeste. Daria has a disgusted look on her face.)

Daria: She gave up her principles for THAT? And I WANTED to be friends with someone that weak.

Celeste: It’s because you WEREN’T friends that this happened. Look … She didn’t have the guts to talk to you at that self-esteem workshop11 – you got out on your own at the end of the course and she took it again … until she tried out for track and met Evan. She latched onto that jerk because you weren’t there, in essence. She’s lonely and she likes the attention … and doesn’t care that it’s not because of who she is. As her friend, you helped her bolster her courage and stand up for her principles – something to do with your constant refusal to speak anything but your mind.

Daria: And because we didn’t speak that day, she doesn’t care so long as she keeps her boyfriend?

Celeste: Got it in one. So that’s Jane’s life now.

Daria: Yeah, but … nothing ELSE has changed.

Celeste: Um … true. And that’s the problem.

(They walk on a little further and find Mack and Kevin talking.)

Kevin: Hey, Mack Daddy, how’s Jodie?

Mack: Call me that again and I will hit you. I’m not in the mood to be patient.

Kevin: Sorry. So how is she?

Mack: Not good. They’re thinking of prescribing tranquillisers.

Daria: WHAT? Why?

Kevin: She THAT stressed, dude?

Mack: You SAW what she did to Brittany.

Daria: What did she do to Brittany?

Kevin: Aw, man, those hospital people STILL won’t let me visit Britt.

Daria: (shocked) WHAT? What did Jodie DO?

Celeste: Better that you not know.

Mack: Look, I’d better go – I’m collecting her homework.

Kevin: Hey, Mack?

Mack: What?

Kevin: We miss you on the team. We’re all really bummed about what Barch did.

Mack: You expected any LESS?

Daria: What’s the deal here? Mack’s not on the football team? Jodie went psychotic? Brittany’s in the hospital? What happened?

Celeste: It’s what DIDN’T happen. No one was around to help Jodie when she got overly stressed about her overload of activities.12 She went … a bit off when Brittany asked for her help in organising a fundraiser for dry-cleaning the mascot costume. And no one was around to blackmail Barch into letting Mack back on the football team. They’ve lost every single game they played since Barch’s overreaction, including Homecoming.13

Daria: Wait a minute … why didn’t Lynn and I coach Jodie in the art of brushing people off?

Celeste: You’re not going to find that answer here…

(Sudden scene shift to a dorm room in a boarding school – you can always tell a boarding school. Lynn is sprawled across the bed – she wears a navy blue blazer over a white blouse and a long navy skirt. She has kept her boots. A school’s crest is emblazoned onto the blazer. She looks miserable.)

Daria: Where are we?

Celeste: St Francis College, Hertfordshire. This is the school Lynn’s mother decided on when she got expelled.14

Daria: But … I … the protest … (beat) Why didn’t I do anything? Jane didn’t have anything to do with our friendship…

Celeste: A lot has changed without your friendship with Jane. Without Jane in your life, your own self-confidence was low. The new presence that resembled you so strongly was perceived as a threat rather than as an ally. You two never became friends either, so you didn’t set up the protest and your mother didn’t get involved. Anyway, even if you HAD wanted Lynn reinstated, you didn’t have the nerve to set up a protest against Ms Li’s treatment of her – not without Jane to back you up. And so…15

Daria: (sigh) And so Lynn got expelled and STAYED expelled.

Celeste: And this school was the first place her mother sent her. It’s a rather strict Catholic school. Lynn is constantly on probation and confined to the dorm. And that is why you see her as you see her.

Daria: Damn. I mean, if it was just me and Jane, that’d be one thing, but…

Celeste: You ain’t seen NOTHING yet…

Daria: What do you mean?

Celeste: Um … watch and find out.

(After a moment or two, Lynn pulls out a bottle of pills. She sighs and, with a very bland look on her face, opens it, pouring several into her hand. As she starts swallowing them dry, one at a time, Daria gasps and takes a step forward. Celeste puts a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.)

Daria: Let go!

Celeste: She can’t see or hear you, remember? What do you think that’s going to accomplish?

Daria: (stricken) But … but WHY? (idea) What about AP? I mean, they’re best friends! She has SOMEONE to fall back on…

Celeste: You got everything but the tense…

(Scene: a graveyard. Daria and Celeste materialise on a path somewhere. Daria looks around and looks completely appalled.)

Daria: You’re not telling me he’s DEAD, are you? (beat; Celeste doesn’t answer) And if you keep pulling this Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come crap on me…

Celeste: Well, actually, yes I AM telling you he’s dead. Badly planned prank backfired. He’s been gone since … ooh, sometime in late November.

Daria: But that’s when he moved to Lawndale!16

Celeste: That’s when he got expelled. You had the pattern a minute ago.

Daria: (slowly; working it out) Lynn got expelled in early November … got sent to England … wasn’t around to tell him that some things should only be taken so far … (it hits her) That guy he made go semi-postal…

Celeste: Went COMPLETELY postal. It wasn’t a good way to die. And anyway, with Lynn expelled, he never would have made it to Lawndale anyway – not without Lynn giving that lying recommendation for him.

Daria: But…

Celeste: Well? Do you want to know what happens to you?

Daria: Not really.

Celeste: Too bad. Gonna tell you anyway.

END ACT 2 – ADVERTS [Lead-in: Evan embracing a slightly morose Jane]

Werther’s Originals: Butterscotch sweets. An old grandfather giving his son a sweet is reminded of how HIS grandfather gave him the same sort of sweet when he was his grandson’s age. Well, that would only happen if they were German because Werther’s Originals only hit England in the 1980’s…

Squegg: Someone came up with a square Easter egg. Not only does that defeat the purpose, the tag-line is "Mad as a fish". WHAT?


(Scene: Daria’s room. It looks about the same. Celeste and Daria appear in time to see another Daria pull a cardboard box out from under the bed.)

Daria: I don’t want to see this.

(The alternate Daria sits on the bed and begins pulling notebooks out of the box, tossing them into a metal wastepaper basket on the floor in front of her. She then goes over to her desk and grabs a stack of floppy disks and a can of lighter fluid. She dumps the disks into the wastepaper basket along with the notebooks and empties the can of lighter fluid on top.)

Daria: (shock) What am I…

Celeste: Your parents don’t notice. Your sister could care less. You have no friends. Something had to give.

Daria: But…

Celeste: Nothing really matters, for this version of you. Especially not the writing that no one appreciates and always gets you into trouble.

Daria: I…

(The alternate Daria reaches into her pocket and pulls out a book of matches. Her face is blank and completely emotionless.)

Celeste: Of course, lighting fires in your bedroom is something that your parents ARE going to notice, clueless or not. They’ll see you burning your life’s work – your ambition – and they are going to have you dragged into a shrink’s office in nothing flat.

(The alternate Daria strikes a match and drops it into the wastepaper basket. Both Darias watch the flames – the one we know with miserable horror and the alternate Daria with a bland sort of hopelessness.)

Daria: No…

Celeste: And you’ll go, because you won’t care enough to resist. You won’t say anything, though, because what does some shrink care? And he’ll decide you’re a chronic depressive and advance that idea to your parents, who’ll at least TRY to have you committed…

Daria: I don’t want to hear this. This CAN’T be right. I mean, Jane’s just one person…

Celeste: Who shaped the way you looked at the school. Nothing you remember of Lawndale actually happened.

Daria: But…

Celeste: You’re not convinced.


Celeste: (sigh) Damn. (shrug) Well, I tried. And a wish is a wish.

Daria: What?

Celeste: You were supposed to be convinced that your friendship with Jane was more than just some idle thing – that it changed everything. You believe MOST of it – that I can see – but you won’t accept the way it would change YOU.

Daria: But … I’d never DO that!

Celeste: No … not yet. But you wished. And I had to either convince you it was stupid or make it come true. So you’re going to wake up feeling the way THIS Daria feels. And maybe you won’t give up. But I don’t like the odds. (Celeste snaps her fingers, and the Daria on the bed vanishes.) It’s your world now, kid. The emotional weight should catch up in about…

Daria: (horrified) I would, wouldn’t I?

(And Celeste smirks)

Celeste: Works every time.

(A smoke alarm starts going off…)

(Scene: Daria’s room. Music: "Letting The Cables Sleep" – Bush. It’s nearly pitch-black. Daria sits up in bed with wide, frightened eyes.)

Daria: GAH!

(She puts a hand to her heart, breathing deeply in an effort to stay calm. Then she grabs her glasses off the trundle table next to her television and looks at the digital clock there. It reads 2:53 a.m. A horrible thought comes to mind and she rolls off the bed, sweeping an arm underneath in a search. After a second, she pulls out the cardboard box and peers in. She sighs in total relief. Then another thought hits and she reaches for the phone. She dials six numbers, looks at the phone handset, and then hangs up. Then she runs for her closet.)

(Scene: Howard Drive. Music plays on. Daria is running down the road, and stops when she hears a ‘chink-chink-chink’ sound. Hiding behind a tree for a moment to catch her breath, she peers out from behind it and sees a miserable and angry-looking Jane hacking away at a lump of granite by moonlight. Daria breathes a light sigh of relief and seems to be gathering courage. Then a car motor is heard. Pan to the Tank, which stops in front of the house. The side door slides open, Trent and Lynn stagger out and shut the door again. The horn honks twice and the Tank drives away. Jane looks at them.)

Jane: How was the gig?

Lynn: Oh, the whole thing went to hell in a hand-basket after three chords. SOMEONE (light slap upside Trent’s head) wasn’t paying attention due to worry over a certain family member of his. Not to mention that family member’s friend.

Jane: (miserable) Ex-friend, Lynn.

Trent: There’s no such thing as an ex-friend, Janey. I mean, Jesse and I have had … oh, I don’t know how many fights.

Jane: Six thousand, two hundred and thirteen. If you count when you both went after Monique in high school.17

Trent: You’ve been counting?

Jane: Curiosity.

Trent: But we’re still friends. I mean, you couldn’t have said anything THAT bad. (Jane looks downcast.) Come on inside, Janey. You’ve been working on that all night.

Lynn: I’m going home. Next time remind me to bring the car here.

Jane: Why didn’t you get Max to drop you off?

Trent: She was worried too.

(Jane looks at Lynn, a little surprised. Lynn looks back impassively)

Lynn: Damn. You’re blowing my tough-girl image. I’m out of here before you figure out I have a heart. See you.

(Lynn walks away. Trent and Jane stand there for a moment, looking at each other.)

Jane: It’s hard.

Trent: To apologise to Daria? You’ve done it before.18

Jane: But not for something this serious…

Trent: It’s not as hard as you think. I’ve done it.19 And I bet she feels as bad as you do.

Jane: (dubious) Yeah…

(Jane and Trent walk into the house together. Daria raises an eyebrow, thinking this over. Then she smiles a slightly worried Mona Lisa smile and turns around, going back the way she came towards home.)

Daria: (thought VO) It’ll keep ‘til morning.



As with most of this season, this goes out to my ever-patient beta reader Diane Long. Di, you were a real help with the ending of this fic, even if I didn’t always take your advice. So thank you for taking the time I know you barely have to beta read my work. Always a pleasure to get constructive criticism from you.


1) The teasers. Enjoy them while you can, because this is the second-to-last time you’re going to see them … oh yeah. You can reread them…

2) There are a few revelations concerning Lynn and AP and their respective feelings for each other in "Relation-slips" … which also explains the coldness between Daria and Jane later on in this fic.

3) Lynn and Trent had a little … um … encounter in "Rue Britannia", which made its presence felt in "Miss Conception". Unfortunately, due to the events of "How The Other Half Lives", that encounter is now common knowledge, though the events of "Miss Conception" are not.

4) Donny and Marie Osmond – husband and wife singing duo, I think. When I first suggested the idea of Lynn and Trent getting together to someone who already knew about Lynn joining the band, that’s the response I got.

5) In Homer’s "The Odyssey", Scylla was a creature with 12 feet and 6 necks (each with a head and three rows of teeth) living in a cave on a cliff. Charybdis was a whirlpool that appeared across the strait three times a day (it lurked under a fig tree). I think that’s where the saying "between a rock and a hard place" comes from – Scylla being the rock because of the cliff and Charybdis being the hard place. I love online encyclopaedias.

6) Come on, we’ve all been there. Two friends fight – both want you to be on their side. You either act the Janus role and side with both, or you side with none.

7) Fine, it’s a very vague way of putting quantum. When Lynn Cullen is exasperated, she doesn’t much care if she makes sense.

8) "Daria!" and "Depth Takes A Holiday". And this fic. Respectively.

9) We all remember "The Road Worrier", don’t we?

10) Lynn joined up with Mystik Spiral due to the events of "Blind Audition".

11) "Esteemsters", where Daria and Jane met.

12) "Grating Expectations" – Jodie goes to Daria and Lynn for help ‘conquering her inner doormat’, as Austin Loomis would say.

13) "Run Away From Homecoming" – Daria and Lynn blackmail Barch into actually being fair to Mack, i.e. not flunking him and losing him his sports eligibility.

14) This school actually exists. And it is the spirit-crushing, mind-numbing prison that you might assume from this. I didn’t go there but know people who did.

15) Reference to "Swear To Be Different" – Daria stands up for Lynn’s First Amendment rights.

16) AP moved to Lawndale in "And Then There Were Four" following expulsion from Oakwood High – he made a teacher go semi-postal. Doing the math between "Trick or Trent", it could be late November…

17) Trent and Jesse, we assume have history. And Trent and Monique have dated on and off, as we gather from "Lane Miserables".

18) Most notably, "The Misery Chick" and "See Jane Run". In my continuum, "Love Him or Leave Him".

19) We would assume that, during that little talk that Daria and Trent had in "Love Him or Leave Him", Trent apologised to Daria for the "Kiss and Tell" debacle.


Daria and related characters owned by MTV, a Viacom company (created by Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn). Lynn Cullen and AP McIntyre were created and are owned by Janet "Canadibrit" Neilson, copyright 1999, 2000. I’ve credited Monty Python in the endnotes and given all song titles with the names of the bands that played them. Don’t sue me – it’s not worth it. Feel free to archive this fic (tell me where it is, though, please) but if you want to use my characters, ask first or I WILL pull a Lynn Cullen on you. And then I’ll call lawyers.