The Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle

THE MISERY SENSHI NEO-ZERO DOUBLE BLITZKRIEG DEBACLE

A Daria/Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon Crossover Fan Fiction Story

(Part of the Daria: The OAVs Series)

Peter W. Guerin

(Re-edited and re-issued March 2010)

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With apologies to Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis and Naoko Takeuchi.

AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER

one of this ever happened. However, for those of you keeping score at home, the events roughly (and I mean roughly) follow the events depicted in Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars, which was the fifth and final season of the original Japanese series. As for continuity within the Daria: The OAVs series, this story takes place after the events of Triumph of the "Retart". Further, the original Japanese civilian identities of the Sailor Senshi are used, in Oriental order (i.e. family name first) as well as all other Japanese characters depicted in this story.

Almost all aircraft depicted in this story have been checked with the publication Aircraft of the World: The Complete Guide (Pittsburgh: International Masters Publishers, 1996-present; series of factsheets published every three weeks). The sole exception is the Mitsubishi Neo-Zero, which is a complete creation of the author.

This story has been re-edited to conform to some character development that had happened within the actual Daria series since this story was first written in 1998. This story was written before the events of September 11, 2001, and I urge the readers of this story to take the story within the context of the times it was written in.

All other characters depicted are my creation. So there.

SONG CREDITS

"Morning Has Broken": Traditional lyrics by Elinor Ferjoen. Musical arrangement by Cat Stevens. © 1972 EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Appearing on Cat Stevens' album Teaser and the Firecat on A&M CD's and cassettes.

"Ty Cobb": lyrics by Chris Cornell; music by Ben Shepherd. © 1996 You Make Me Sick I Make Music (ASCAP)/Stupidditties (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Soundgarden album Down on the Upside on A&M CD's and cassettes.

"Monk Time", "I Hate You" and "Complication": written by Gary Burger, Larry Clark, Dave Day, Roger Johnston and Eddie Shaw. © 1965 Monk Time Publishing (BMI); administered by Bug Music. All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Monks album Black Monk Time on Infinite Zero Archive CD's. Distributed by American Recordings.

"The Star Spangled Banner": words by Francis Scott Key; sung to the tune of "To Anacreon in Heaven" by John Stafford Smith.

"Kimigayo": words selected from the seventh volume of Kokinshu dating from AD 9th Century; English translation by Sakuzo Takada; Music by Hiromori Hayashi.

AUTHOR'S DEDICATION

This story is dedicated to my mother's favorite author, Tom Clancy. This story may be a bit evocative of his style, so please bear with me.

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"Sky Pilot!

Sky Pilot!

How high can you fly?

You'll never, never, never reach the sky!"

--Eric Burden, The Animals, "Sky Pilot"

"War!

Good God, you all!

What's it any good for?

Absolutely nothing!

Say it again!"

--Edwin Starr, Edwin Starr's Rising Starr, "War"

"Though force can protect in an emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace."

--Dwight David Eisenhower, General, U. S. Army, later President of the United States

Data 1: Ebon Genesis Sweet Adeline

huge crowd had gathered in the mass meeting room of Sumito Heavy Industries for what was expected to be a brief pep rally before the start of the day's business. All were clad in the same blue suits typical of Japanese businessmen in Shinjuku, the business district of Tokyo. At one end was a platform were the top executives of the company were seated as well as a podium for speaking. However, it was the banner affixed to the wall that was unusual: a brown octopus on a white disc on a red field.

At once, everyone's attention was focused on the podium as one of the persons on the platform rose to speak. However, this was not one of the executives; she was an "OL", or office lady. But no other "OL" like her existed in Japan. Yoriko was tall and statuesque, and was well-proportioned with ample bust, slender hips, long legs and short, black hair. Banging the gavel, she called the meeting to order.

"I know that we have much work to do, so I will keep this brief," said Amazana Yoriko. "I have glorious news that will gladden the hearts of everyone in our organization. We think the Neo-Zero prototype will be ready for its first test flight by month's end. Ryu, our intelligence officer, will explain."

The podium was yielded to Chang Ryu, a man of unusually handsome qualities due to his mixed Chinese-Korean-Japanese ancestry. He was about six and a half feet tall with brown hair. Ryu was a master of many martial arts disciplines, holding black belts in judo, tae kwan do, kung fu, karate, and kendo, or Japanese fencing. Only a few months ago he resigned as a priest of the legendary Shaolin Temple to be involved in what Sumito termed "Project Iron Fist."

Ryu started to speak in his clear, enthusiastic voice:

"I've been checking the progress of the prototype, and most ground tests have been completed. It is expected that the prototype will be fitted with a full compliment of Sidewinder missiles for target practice; once they are loaded, we will launch our plan to hijack the prototype and start our attack on Tokyo. Once we have the civilian government in submission, the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association will embark on a new era for Japan, and once again we will earn the respect of the world. All hail to our leader, Amazana Yoriko. BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!"

After five shouts of "BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!", the meeting adjourned. Yoriko went back to her office, where Dr. Helmut Vander Helffen was awaiting her; he looked middle-aged with black hair and spectacles; he was wearing a brown double-breasted suit.

"It's time for your next pill," was all he said.

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Tsukino Ikuko was doing what she usually did every morning: trying to get her oldest daughter Usagi out of bed:

"Usagi, you lazy bastard! Get out of bed now!"

Luna, Usagi's pet cat, was jolted out of her sleep by Ikuko's yelling. She hissed and scratched Usagi's nose.

"OW!!!!!!!!!!", shrieked Usagi.

"Usagi! It's time to get up for school!," began Luna. "You are so lazy it's pathetic!"

"I already have Mom on my case, Luna," shrieked Usagi; "I don't need to hear it from you as well!"

With a deft movement, Usagi took off her pajamas and raced to her closet--wearing nothing but her panties--to grab a bra. She began to pack up her briefcase.

"You know, I think that peeping Tom from across the street is looking at you again!", chuckled Luna.

Usagi shrieked and drew down the curtains.

"Luna, you really get on my nerves at times," yelled Usagi at Luna.

Luna replied, "Hey, I deserve a good laugh once in a while!"

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Kenji, Ikuko's husband, and their son, Shingo, were already at the breakfast table. Kenji was reading the "Yorimuri Shimbun" when he noticed an interesting article.

"Hey, what about those Giants!," he exclaimed; "one more win and they clinch the Japan Series!"

"Wonderful, dear," was all his wife said rather abstractly.

"Man, Usagi's gonna get it big time from Ms. Sakurada if she's late again," Shingo proclaimed.

As if to confirm that remark, Usagi ran downstairs, clad in her seifuku, gulped down a glass of milk, wolfed down a piece of toast, and dashed out the door like the devil before anyone noticed. She was several steps down the road when a car horn blared, and a familiar red car pulled up besides her.

"Usagi! Get in! It's the only way you'll make it on time for your first class!," a voice shouted to her.

Usagi knew that voice rather well. It was her boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. As Usagi got in, she noticed two other persons in the car: her friend Mizuno Ami, the smartest student in class, and Chiba-Usa, Usagi and Mamoru's daughter from the future. Chiba-Usa had spent the night at Ami's house.

"Running late again, I see," Chiba-Usa said in her holier-than-thou attitude.

"Put a sock in it, Chiba-Usa!", replied Usagi.

"Usagi, you should really get up earlier," Ami started. "It's part of doing well in school."

"Ami's got a point there, Usako," Mamoru added. "Your grades aren't that great. With the big exams coming up, you've got to do better."

Usagi groaned.

"Speaking of tests," Ami said, "I figure you'd be the first ones to learn about some exciting news I got yesterday."

"What?," Usagi asked.

"I found out that I've been accepted for my pre-med studies in Germany," gushed Ami; "At long last, I can begin my studies to become a pediatrician like my mother! I leave in four days."

Usagi was at first speechless.

"Congratulations!," Mamoru said. "I know that you've been looking forward to this for a long time."

"But what about the Sailor Senshi?," Usagi said as she recovered from the shock of the announcement. "You're the brains of the team!"

"Not to worry, Usagi," Ami began. "I've got that covered. Luna and Artemis have been working on transferring my powers to another person. The Sailor Senshi will still be at full strength while I'm gone."

"Who do you have in mind?," Chibi-Usa asked.

"Let's just say that she's as intelligent as I am," Ami teased.

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The calls to prayer wafted in the air in Beirut. In a nondescript building, however, there was something sinister afoot. The local branch of Islamic Jihad was meeting to formulate their next terrorist attack.

The Imam Al-Kabaz, the leader of the branch, was clad in a black robe and had a long black beard. He arose to speak.

"It is time to strike fear into the heart of the Great Satan!" he began; "In four days will be the great football game between Highland and Lawndale High Schools. We will seize control of the JAL flight from Tokyo to Berlin, divert it to Lawndale and blow up a nuclear device as the plane flies over the football field." The Imam turned to Akbar el‑Salaam, a grungy Palestinian in combat fatigues, and said, "Brother Akbar, it is Allah's will that you carry out this mission. You will leave on the next flight to Tokyo in about an hour. ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!"

The cries of "ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!" were repeated twenty times running.

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He can still remember it all like it was just yesterday. It was one of those memories you can't really shake off.

He was on patrol in the Sea of Japan, off the coast of Sakhalin Island. He was squadron leader for a flight of five F-4EJ Phantom II jet fighters for the Japan Air Self Defense Force. The Phantom jets were showing their age but were still a reliable part of the force. So far, it had been a pretty routine patrol.

Suddenly, one of the pilots radioed him:

"Maverick to Dragon, I've picked up something on the radar. It looks like a Soviet Su-17." Dragon was the squadron leader's code name.

"Roger, Maverick," responded the squadron leader; "let's take a look. As long as they're on their side of the border, we shouldn't expect any hostilities."

"Roger, Dragon.", replied the first pilot.

The squadron approached the location of the Su-17. However, it turned out that this was no ordinary patrol. A Korean Airlines 747 had somehow entered Soviet airspace. An international incident was in the making.

"Dragon to Ginzu, find out what the Hell's going on here!," said the squadron leader to another pilot.

The second pilot replied, "Ginzu to Dragon, I've got them fixed on radar. I do know some Russian. The MiG's issuing a warning to the KAL craft to clear out of Soviet space. He's threatening to fire."

Was it time to take action? Every member of the SDF had been instructed from day one that Article 9 of the Constitution clearly stated that Japan was not to wage war. But now everyone in the squad faced a dilemma: Do nothing and see hundreds perish, or attack and risk international condemnation if they were wrong?

"Ginzu," the squadron leader ordered, "inform the MiG pilot that if he fires weapons, our government will file a protest with the United Nations."

Tense moments passed.

"Dragon, he's ignoring me," was the second pilot's reply.

The next thing everyone saw was that the Su-17 fired an air-to-air missile, blowing the KAL plane out of existence!

"This is Dragon to all units! Return to base!," sharply ordered the squadron leader. "We don't want to risk a dogfight with the Su-17!"

Clearly as much as everyone wanted to avenge what they had just seen, Article 9 was to be honored at all times.

When they had landed back at the base, news had already reached everyone about what happened. An airman approached the squad leader and handed him a list.

"Lieutenant Torymura, you may want to see this; it's the list of passengers," the airman said to him.

He took a quick look, and his stomach turned when he noticed two names on the list.

"Poor Makoto," was all he said.

A subsequent investigation cleared Lt. Torymura and his squadron of negligence. Now a general, Torymura Keiichi was in charge of the Neo-Zero project. He sat there at his desk, in his dress green uniform, his hair grayed with the cares of a long military career and time-carved wrinkles over his skin. But he's still haunted by the awful memories of what happened fifteen years ago. If only he--

A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought. Someone entered his office. It was Ryu, now wearing a vermilion martial artist's outfit.

"General, this is Special Agent Chang," he said. "I know when the NIRAA will attempt to steal the prototype."

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By Japanese standards, this was a rather brash way to start a campaign in a by‑election. Streamers were all over the banquet hall, as well as posters, all with the same slogan: "Nagai Kenji: For a New and Better Japan." Nagai was already governor of Tokyo Metropolitan Prefecture; he had stunned everyone at the last gubernatorial election by winning the post running as a member of the Komeito, or Clean Government Party, which had the backing of the Soka Gakki sect of Buddhism. Now, he was in the most ambitious campaign of his life: he was seeking the vacant seat for Tokyo-to in the House of Representatives, the lower house of the Japanese Diet. His youthful looks belied his 45 years, and was wearing a gray flannel suit.

Nagai stepped up to the podium and spoke:

"Ladies and gentlemen: I hereby announce my candidacy for the Komeito nomination for the empty seat in the House of Representatives for Tokyo-to. Our nation faces grave problems as we near the new millennium. Business as usual in our government--fostered by a Liberal Democratic government that has been in control for over forty years--has led us to this crisis. We have been the envy of East Asia--indeed in what is still called the Third World--for turning so rapidly from an isolated, backwards nation to one of the most modern, most technologically advanced societies ever seen in human history. It would be a shame that we, as a beacon of hope to those less developed, be extinguished ourselves. We need new voices; we need fresh blood; we need to admit our mistakes of the past; we must lend a hand to those nations less fortunate than ourselves. Reforms must be made in our economy so that everyone that benefits can still do and even include the small minority that do not. We must be more open and honest in trade with our international neighbors. We must turn Japan around before it's too late, and I am the man to do it!"

The crowd roared its approval.

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Lawndale was just one of your typical suburban American communities. At one rather well-appointed house lived the Morgendorffers. It was just after dinner and eldest daughter Daria had just went to her room; it was pretty unusual because its walls were mostly padded, a holdover from the previous owners, who kept their crazy aunt in there. Posters of a bleached skeleton in the desert and of exetensionalist author Franz Kafka adorned the walls. Daria had just logged on the Internet. Jane Lane, Daria's best friend, was sitting on Daria's bed.

"You've got mail!," chirped the computer.

"And you've got a stick up your ass!," quipped Daria in reply.

Jane snickered and then spat out, "That was a good one, Daria! You go, girl!"

Daria looked at her e-mail messages. Some of it was spam for hair tonic, get-rich-quick schemes, and pornography. There even was one sick individual who wanted a downloadable picture of Daria in her underwear.

"That pervert!," Daria stated, " Who does he think I am, Linda Lovelace?"

Jane shot back, "He probably confused you for some porno star."

"Look at this one, Jane," said Daria in amazement.

"Who's it from?," Jane inquired.

Daria responded, "It's from my friend in Japan, Ami."

"What does it say?," Jane wanted to know.

Daria began to read it:

"It says: 'Come here quickly. This is important. I can't tell you here. I'll explain everything when you arrive.'"

"Better be careful, Daria," cautioned Jane, "Sometimes these Internet-initiated face-to-face meetings get kinky."

Daria replied, "Jane, Ami is not some pervert. We're both smart; we're both unappreciated with our classmates, and we both have to put up with geeks."

"You mean Japan has its own version of Upchuck?," said Jane in amazement.

"Yep. His name is Gurio," Daria said; "The sick part is he's got a rather pretty, good-natured girlfriend named Naru."

"Better call 'Sick Sad World' and tell them you've got a scoop for them!," snickered Jane.

"Well, we'd better tell Mom and Dad about this," stated Daria.

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The entire Morgendorffer family was gathered in the living room. Jake and Helen, Daria's parents, were on the couch while Daria, Jane and Quinn, Daria's sister, were on another couch next to the adjacent wall. Quinn was wearing that stupid smiley face T-shirt and her red miniskirt she once wore to seduce Kevin Thompson, the star quarterback for Lawndale High.

"Quinn, if that skirt had a slit in it, people would compare you Ashley Judd," Daria said.

"Daria! Give me a break!," Quinn replied.

"Anyway, your friend Ami wants you to go see her in Tokyo right away, Daria?", Helen asked.

"Yes, she did, Mom," was Daria's response.

"This is rather unusual, Daria," said Helen in concern; "You'll miss the big game against Highland."

"Oh, whoopee!," shot back Daria; "I'll just miss my old nemeses Beavis and Butt-Head. I hated it when those two called me 'Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha!'".

"Oh, Daria, boys will be boys!," Jake answered. "Heck, I probably didn't do any worse than they did when I was their age."

"Jake, how dare you defend those two!," Helen roared. "Those two are so perverted they make Larry Flint look like Mahatma Gandhi!"

"But, Honey--," began Jake

Helen silenced him by roaring, "SHUT UP, JAKE!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes, Dear!," was Jake's meekish reply.

"Well, I guess if it's OK with the school," Helen said, "it's OK with me. I always thought going to foreign countries helps to broaden one's horizons."

"I think there's an opening in our foreign exchange program, Mom. I'll ask," Daria replied.

"Oh, Honey, you're going to like this!," Helen said.

"Then again, I could live to regret it," warned Daria.

"What will happen if Beavis and Butt-Head notice that you're not at the game? They'll pick on me! What will I do?," Quinn shrieked.

"Keep your legs crossed," Daria sneered.

Jane snickered sinisterly over that remark.

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At an underground bunker right beneath the Lawndale Gun Club, the Lawndale Militia was meeting. Anthony Corlew, the commander, rose to speak.

"Gee, Commander, what are we going to do tonight?", asked a member named Poindexter.

"The same thing we do every night, Poindexter: Try to take over Lawndale!," said Anthony.

With that out of the way, he continued:

"'Operation In Your Face' is proceeding as scheduled. As everyone knows, the whole town will turn out for the big game against Highland. During that time, we will launch a blitzkrieg attack and take over city hall, the police station and the courthouse. We will strike at half-time. We've got all our firepower ready. In four days, Lawndale will be ours!"

Roars of approval echoed throughout the bunker.

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Nakajimi Tetsuo was going down a street in Shinjuku. He was about five and a half feet tall with raven black hair and wore a dark blue suit. He had a good job as a stockbroker, but visions of a terrible past still haunted him:

"We are the Mecha-Dominion! We will absorb your world into our realm! Rebellion against us is useless!" Then the screams of slaughter.

But now a new, more terrible vision filled his mind. A jet fighter coming out of nowhere. Missiles firing at landmark buildings. Fire everywhere. Bodies scattered in every direction.

Tetsuo stopped. "Tokyo is in danger!," he exclaimed.

Data 2: Ms. Morgendorffer Goes to Tokyo

awndale International Airport was kind of lonely at this time of day. Except for a few Hare Krishnas here and there, not too many people were in the lobby.

"Now, Daria, did you pack some clean underwear like I asked you to?," Helen asked.

"Yes, Mother," Daria answered

"Daria," Quinn asked, "Could you bring back one of those kimonos for me, please?"

"Quinn," Daria stated, those kimonos are pretty damn expensive."

"Pretty please?," Quinn whined.

"C'mon, Daria," Jake said, "this is probably going to be the only time you'll ever get to go to Japan."

"OK, OK," Daria said, resignedly; "if I see one at a reasonable price, I'll get one for you."

"Thanks, Daria!," chirped Quinn.

Besides Daria and her family, there was Jane, and the only two friends in Lawndale High School they had, Jodie Landon and Michael Jordan Mackenzie, or Mack for short.

"If there's any airheads at the high school you're going to, Daria, heckle them for me," Jane said. "And see if they've got a Japanese version of Sick, Sad World over there."

"Right," responded Daria.

"Have a nice time over there," Jodie added. "Let me know what you think of the sushi."

"I've got a cousin at an American base not too far from Tokyo. Maybe you can look him up," Mack said as he gave Daria a slip of paper.

"I'll try my best, Mack," Daria answered.

The airport PA system announced that the flight to Tokyo would soon be boarding.

"You'd better get on board, Daria," Helen said.

"Right," Daria said. " Bye, everyone. I'll write often."

With that Daria hugged her family and friends, and went down the gate.

"Man, I really envy Daria right now," Quinn said. "She's going to Japan and I have to go to the big game in three days and put up with Beavis and Butt-Head."

As if there couldn't be anyone dumber than those two, Kevin Thompson, the star quarterback for Lawndale High, and his girlfriend, head cheerleader Brittany Taylor, appeared. Kevin was wearing his football uniform (which he wore everywhere) while Brittany was in her cheerleader uniform, which showed how well endowed (and stupid) she was.

"Hey, what's up, everyone?," Brittany asked as she twirled her hair around her finger.

"Daria just left for Japan," Jake said.

"Hey, I hear Japan's a pretty cool country," Kevin said.

"But not as cool as you, Kevin," gushed Brittany as she hugged Kevin.

"Aw, gee, Cupcake!," Kevin replied. "Anyway, when's the next drill, Mack Daddy?"

"Kevin," Mack said, "For the last time, don't call me 'Mack Daddy'! I hate that name!"

"OOPS!!!!!!!!!! Sorry!", Kevin gasped.

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Narita Airport (or New Tokyo International Airport, as it was officially known) was hopping when Daria arrived. Already jet lag was taking its toll on her. She looked like she'd been through a war.

"They're right," Daria muttered to herself, "Airline food is lousy!" She did look disheveled. She didn't sleep too well on the flight. Her hair was a wreck, her olive drab jacket was scrunched up, her black skirt was hiked up, and one of the laces on her combat boots was untied. Just then, she walked right into someone.

"A thousand pardons to you, Madam!," said the stranger.

"Up yours!," Daria yelled back.

Daria didn't know it, but she bumped into the person who was going to nuke Lawndale in three days time.

Akbar went up to a rent-a-car counter and rented a Toyota Corolla 2-door. He then went to a pay phone to book a room at a nearby motel.

"In three days time," Akbar said to himself, "The Great Satan will have his war brought home to him!"

Daria, meanwhile, was surprised to see a chauffeur standing with a card that said "Morgendorffer" on it.

"Are you Ms. Daria Morgendorffer?," asked the chauffeur.

"Yes, and who might you be, the welcoming committee from Hell?"

"Your sense of humor is sharp," the chauffeur said, "but I was sent at the request of Mizuno Ami, your friend. She told me to take you directly to Sendai Hill Shrine. It was important."

"Lead the way," Daria said. "Things couldn't get much worse. After all, the food was lousy, and I didn't sleep well at all."

"Right this way," the chauffeur said.

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"Ami," Hino Rei, the miko of Sendai Hill Shrine began to say, "you'd better have a good reason why you asked all of us to be here right now! You interrupted me right in the middle of shrine services!"

"This won't take long," Ami promised. "As you know, in three days, I leave for Germany. However, the Sailor Senshi won't be undermanned. I got someone coming who will take my place while I'm gone."

"This better be worth it," Kino Makoto added, "since the last time you were planning to go to Germany, you changed your mind at the last minute."

"Yeah," Usagi added, "and Mamoru had dumped me!"

"AHEM!!!!!!!!!!," Mamoru cleared his throat.

"OOPS!!!!!!!!!! Sorry!," Usagi gasped.

"I'm pretty sure that the person you will meet will live up to everyone's expectations," Artemis said. "Ami said that she was as smart as she is."

"Great," moaned Aino Minako, "another egghead who prefers curling up with a good book instead of going to the movies with a guy! Don't eggheads like you have lives, Ami?"

"And what do you mean by that remark, Minako?," Ami demanded.

"Now, now, ladies," Luna said, "Let's not get hot under the collar! I'm pretty sure all will work out for the best."

Just then, Daria arrived. She introduced herself rather curtly:

"Hello. My name is Daria Morgendorffer. I'm from Lawndale, USA. I just had one Hell of a flight, my stomach's upset from the airline food, I didn't sleep well, and I've got a short temper. So let's cut the crap and get down to business."

Usagi swallowed with a loud "ULP!!!!!!!!!!"

Ami knew she had to defuse the situation quickly.

"Well, Daria, I'm sorry that your flight didn't go too well," Ami began to say; "Please, let me introduce you to my friends. The one with the long blonde ponytails is Tsukino Usagi. The black-haired lady in the white robe and red hakama is Hino Rei, the miko of this shrine. The girl with the auburn ponytail is Kino Makoto. The other blonde with the bow in her hair is Aino Minako. The girl with long dark green hair is Meiou Setsuna. The one with the short, dirty blond hair is Ten'ou Haruka. The girl with the green hair is Kaiou Michiru. The lady with the short black hair is Tomoe Horatu. The little girl with pink hair is Chibi-Usa. The guy with black hair is Chiba Mamoru. The black cat is Luna, and the white one is Artemis."

A less-than-enthusiastic "Hello" issued from everyone.

"I see this is going to be a tough crowd," Daria said.

"OK, Usagi," Ami said, "I guess you should let Daria know our secret."

Usagi drew a deep breath and began:

"Daria, what if I told you that everything is not as it seems here?"

"You dragged me all the way here to tell me something I already know?," shot back Daria, sarcastically. "What a gyp!"

"Trust me on this one," Usagi continued, "what if I told you that a thousand years ago we all lived on the Moon as members of the Royal Court of the Moon Kingdom?"

Daria groaned, "Beam me up, Scotty, this planet is going to Hell in a handbasket!"

"C'mon, Daria, I'm being serious here!," continued Usagi; "You see, a thousand years ago Queen Beryl and her Dark Kingdom destroyed the Moon Kingdom and my mother, Queen Serenity. We were sent to Earth and reincarnated so we could protect the Earth from the Dark Kingdom and all other threats. We defeated the Dark Kingdom, Ail and Ann, the Wiseman and the Four Sisters, the Death Busters, the Black Moon Circus, and--most recently--Sailor Galaxia. You see, we are the Sailor Senshi you may have heard about in the news. I'm Sailor Moon; Ami's Sailor Mercury; Rei's Sailor Mars; Mako's Sailor Jupiter; Minako's Sailor Venus; Chibi-Usa's Sailor Chibi-Moon; Setsuna's Sailor Pluto; Haruka's Sailor Uranus; Michiru's Sailor Neptune; Hotaru's Sailor Saturn; Mamoru's Tuxedo Mask, and Luna and Artemis can talk."

Daria began to sarcastically hum the theme from The Twilight Zone.

"Daria," Luna said, "I will not allow you to act sarcastically! That is not the proper way for a Sailor Senshi to behave! This is a serious situation you're in. Let Ami explain."

"Daria," Ami said "as you know, I have to leave for my medical studies in Germany in three days. Someone has to take my place as Sailor Mercury while I'm gone. I think you're the best person there is."

Daria shot back, "First, you cook up some cockamamie story about being recreated from some Moon Kingdom, now I have talking cats to deal with. Is this 'Candid Camera', and if so, where's Allan Funt?"

"Daria," Luna replied, "believe me, I know this is kind of difficult for you to take, but at first we didn't know if this would be feasible, since you weren't around during the Silver Millennium. But I think it can be done. Ami, give me your power stick."

Ami handed it to Luna; she then gave it to Daria.

Luna continued, "Now, the both of you hold on to my tail". They both did, and Ami's Sailor Mercury powers left her and entered Daria.

"I didn't notice a damn difference," sneered Daria.

"Now, hold the power stick up high and say 'SUPER MERCURY STAR POWER, MAKE‑UP!!!!!!!!!!,'" said Luna.

"OK, but I don't think anything is going to happen," was Daria's curt reply.

Daria held the power stick like it was some moldy breadstick the local pizzeria back at Lawndale was giving away, and said "SUPER MERCURY STAR POWER, MAKE‑UP!!!!!!!!!!". Immediately, Daria had the sensation that someone had ripped her clothes off. "Great, now the whole damn world can see I've got small breasts!", she muttered to herself. As soon as the transformation was complete, and Daria was in Sailor Mercury's seirafuku costume, everyone knew that the transfer was successful.

"Congratulations, Daria! You're now the new Sailor Mercury!," Usagi blushed. She motioned Daria to a nearby mirror. Daria took one look.

"I hate this seirafuku," Daria replied; "it looks frumpy on me! I want something else!"

"Daria," Luna said, "this is the uniform of the Sailor Senshi. Wear it with pride."

Daria stepped on Luna's tail in response; Luna gave out a loud "ROWR!!!!!!!!!!".

"UP YOURS!!!!!!!!!!," Daria bickered.

"I don't think Daria's going to be a good team member, Mamoru," whined Usagi.

"I couldn't agree with you more, Usagi," conceded Mamoru..

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Hamada Ieyasu was just a typical person living in a quiet street in a suburb of Narita. That is, he would be typical except for one thing: he had a working-order Kawasaki Ki-45 Toryu night fighter/ground attack aircraft in his backyard. He had a long, gray, tapered Fu Manchu beard and was greasy from his work. He wore a soft cap and a velvet jacket. He was doing some routine maintenance on it when his grandson Hideki asked him about the plane.

"You're pretty proud of that airplane, aren't you, Grandpa?," began Hideki.

Ieyasu began to tell him about the plane:

"Yes I am, Hideki. I may have flown it in a losing cause, but it served me well. I was just lucky that I managed to salvage parts for it and rebuild it; after the way, the American occupation forces scrapped most of our nation's war capabilities. Remember, back then, we and the United States were not on the best of terms. Ruthless military men had virtual control of our nation in name if not in fact. They had launched a foolhardy quest to annex much of East Asia to our territory and committed many atrocities. This plane was one of the best craft ever built. Did you know that it was this plane, and not the Mitsubishi A6M that made the first Kamikaze attack on American naval vessels? The Americans called this plane the 'Nick' like the A6M was called the 'Zero'."

Ieyasu paused to go toward the tail of the Nick. He continued:

"You may notice that the Rising Sun is on a white stripe on this plane. That meant that this plane was serving in the defense of the homeland. And the marking of the tail indicates that it was with the 1st Chutai of the 53rd Sentai based in Matsudo here in Chiba-ken."

Hideki asked, "What was your greatest adventure in this plane?"

"Well, one time," Ieyasu answered, "shortly before the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, we went up against the Americans and their Superfortresses on one of their raids against Tokyo. I managed to shoot down three that night. However, my tailgunner was killed when a fourth retaliated after we bungled an attempt to shoot that one down. I was lucky to escape with my life."

Ieyasu then added this rather suddenly:

"You know, Hideki, I wonder how things might have been different if the military hadn't slowly crept into power and we didn't join the Nazi Germans and the Fascist Italians. We might have joined the Americans and together forced both of them to surrender sooner that they did. We might have launched a campaign to expel the Germans from the Soviet Union. We might have gone into Berlin instead of the Soviets. What I don't figure is why both our government and the American government won't just own up to what happened. They say the Americans should apologize for using the atomic bomb but why won't our government apologize for the Rape of Nanjing or the Korean comfort women or the Baatan Death March when most of its citizens are indeed sorry for those things. Why can't both our nations admit that mistakes were made by everyone, make a commitment to make sure nothing like this ever happens again, and get on with our lives? Why is it that the people know better than our elected leaders?"

"Beats me, Grandpa," said an astonished Hideki; "I guess adults aren't better than us kids."

Ieyasu got a good laugh over that. "Grandma should be ready with dinner soon," he said. "You'd better go in and set the table. I'll have this plane ready for the Narita Air Show by the end of the week, or I'll eat my hat. And tell your father when he and your mother come to pick you up that I hope he'll make it this year. This old bird's gonna win the Grand Prize this year, or I'll have to commit seppuku."

"You wouldn't!," said an alarmed Hideki.

"Just kidding, Hideki," reassured Ieyasu.

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Dr. Vander Helffen was at his office. He was poring over his latest plans to hijack the Neo-Zero prototype when Yoriko arrived.

"Time for your pill again, Yoriko," he said. She took a bottle marked Hi no Tori Immortality Pills and ingested one of them.

"Now, on to business, Yoriko," he continued. "I have grave concerns for Ryu."

"How so?," Yoriko wanted to know.

Dr. Vander Helffen replied, "Our ninja spies have seen him hanging around with known SDF intelligence agents in the Ginza." He proceeded to take some photographs out of a manila envelope.

"So, I see," was her reply.

"If Ryu is indeed acting as a double agent, he is to be eliminated," Dr. Vander Helffen stated. "We're tailing him now, even as we speak. If he is working for the SDF behind our backs, give the kill order."

"Understood, Dr. Vander Helffen," replied Yoriko.

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Gen. Torymura had gotten the full report from Ryu of the NIRAA's plot to steal the Neo‑Zero prototype, and now he was ready to take action.

"This is serious," he began; "If the NIRAA seizes the prototype, nothing in the SDF arsenal can stop it. We will need to get some additional help. If the rumors are true about what I heard about the Sailor Senshi, they may be our only hope against the NIRAA."

"I think I know someone who can contact them;" replied Ryu. "His name is Chiba Mamoru. He's in the self- defense class I teach at the Morita Dojo. If what I suspect of him is true, I can get the Sailor Senshi on our side."

"Proceed," ordered Gen. Torymura. "The fate of Japan rests on your shoulders, Ryu."

Ryu departed, not noticing that the receptionist had overheard everything that had happened. She was an NIRAA ninja spy, and was now sending a secret message by a secret relaying device to NIRAA headquarters.

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"Japan Air Lines, how may I help you?," asked a ticket agent on the phone Akbar was ordering his ticket..

"This is Akbar el-Salaam," he began; "I would like to book a seat on the Saturday flight from Narita to Berlin." Luckily for Akbar, this was his first hijacking, and there would be no record of him by any of the aviation or law enforcement authorities on file. Until now, Akbar had been content with the occasional strafing of Jewish settlements in East Jerusalem and throwing rocks at Israeli troops. Now he was in the big leagues.

"What class?," the agent asked.

Akbar answered, "First class."

The agent replied, "Smoking or non-smoking?"

"I thought all flights were now non-smoking," inquired Akbar.

"That's only for United States airlines, sir," replied the agent.

"Non-smoking," answered Akbar.

"OK," the agent said; "you can pick up your ticket at the gate on the morning of departure. Thanks you for flying Japan Air Lines, and have a nice flight."

"It will be nice all right," Akbar sneered as he hung up the phone. "My destination will be with Allah in Paradise."

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Gov. Nagai was holding a rally at the Ginza, Tokyo's entertainment district. There was a huge crowd. PA speakers were everywhere, as well as streamers and signs. Nagai was making a speech where it seemed he'd promise sushi in everyone's heated dinner table or a full rice cooker if that would make Japan prosperous again.

"My friends," Gov. Nagai began, "we can make Japan better than it is now. We just need the courage to take the difficult steps that need to be taken. Let us go forward with that vision."

Tetsuo was going down the street and noticed the rally. He then looked at a balcony across the street. He noticed something sinister going on. A man dressed entirely in black was setting up a high-powered rifle. He was going to assassinate Gov. Nagai!

Quickly, Tetsuo ran to a nearby alley. He raised his hands as in supplication to the sun.

"Amaterasu-Omikami, give thee thy mortal servant the power of the Solar Warrior!," he shouted.

Instantly it seemed that Tetsuo was engulfed in flames, and a transformation took place. He emerged in red robotic armor with a yellow sunburst on the chest. He leapt up to the balcony.

"Miscreant!," he yelled; "Stop where you are! I am the Solar Warrior, servant to Amaterasu-Omikami, Goddess of the Sun! In the name of the Sun, you will be judged!"

The assassin growled and fired, but the bullets ricocheted off the armor.

The Solar Warrior then yelled, "SOLAR FLARE DISCHARGE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

Two discs, one on each gauntlet, glowed, then discharged. The assassin was incinerated.

The crowd saw what happened. They had just realized that this mystery hero had just saved Gov. Nagai from certain death. The Solar Warrior disappeared, leaving a cheering crowd shouting "BANZAI!" behind.

"Find this person," Gov. Nagai said to one of his aides. "I might have a position for him in my campaign."

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Ami was just finishing packing up for her trip. In just three days, she was off to Berlin.

"Think you might want this, Honey?," a voice said as it entered the room. It was Ami's mother.

Ami turned around and saw her old teddy bear.

"Mom, I don't need that teddy bear," said an embarrassed Ami; "Really!"

"It was always your good luck charm," continued her mother. "I want you to do well over there in Germany. I want you to make your father and me proud. I can't believe you're going away in three days."

"I'll miss you, Mom," said Ami, "but I'll e-mail you and all my friends and family every week. I promise."

Ami finished packing., then said, "I'd better get to bed."

"Good night, Ami," her mother said. Ami then took off her clothes and her bra. She stood next to the open window and felt the cool evening wind against her face and breasts. It felt so good after such a hot late summer's day. She stood like that for a few minutes, then slipped on her nightshirt, a football jersey-looking blue shirt with a white "15" on it, and went to bed.

Mizuno Ami didn't know then what Hell she was going to go through.

Data 3: Enter Sailor Misery Chick

he mansion that Ami was living in was pretty spacious, by Japanese standards. Ami woke up, flung off her nightshirt, and took a good look at herself in the mirror. For an egghead, she had quite an attractive body, even if she was small-breasted. Daria had settled in the next room, which was used as a guest room. Ami took off her panties, put on her robe, and went to the bathroom.

As she was soaping herself up in the shower, Ami thought about everything that had gone on for the past five years or so. It had it horrifying moments as well as its triumphs, but now it seemed she was going to put this behind her for at least the next four years or so. As she stepped out of the shower again, she looked at herself again. Maybe Minako was right: she should cut loose once in a while. Maybe before she leaves, she should go out with some guy; she had a new blouse and miniskirt combo that she was dying to try out. As she put her robe on again and stepped out of the bathroom, Daria was waiting to enter. She looked beady-eyed without her eyeglasses, and was wearing a blue T‑shirt and yellow shorts as nightwear.

"Had a good sleep, Daria?," Ami asked.

"OK, but I still have major jet lag," replied Daria.

"You'll get used to it," answered Ami; "By the way, I hope you adjusted your watch properly; remember, Japan does not observe Daylight Savings Time like you do back in the United States."

"So I've heard," said Daria. "When do we leave for our first class?"

"Soon," was Ami's reply. "And I hope you will wear the seifuku I gave you; it's our school uniform."

"I still say it looks stupid on me," shot back Daria.

Ami asked her, "Daria, do you actually wear those army fatigues, black skirt and combat boots to school back home?"

"Yes, I do," Daria said. "It sends a message."

"What message is that?," Ami wanted to know.

Daria replied, "That I may be feminine, but I'm also tough as nails."

"If you ever go out on the town," Ami continued, "there's some very good drop-dead minidresses I have that would look very good on you. And, by the way, have you ever considered wearing contact lenses?"

"Too much trouble keeping them clean," replied Daria.

"Other than that, you do look beautiful," replied Ami admiringly.

"Thanks;" said a surprised Daria; "it's not everyday somebody says that about me. They usually call me 'The Misery Chick.'"

"Well, I guess we'd better get the lead out and get dressed for school," stated Ami.

"Right," responded Daria. "I hope you didn't use all the hot water."

"There should be some left," said Ami, somehow unsure of herself.

However, as Daria began to use the shower, she was greeted with a blast of Arctic‑cold water. "That's the story of my life," she said.

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As they arrived for their first class, Ami and Daria noticed that Usagi was going to be late again.

"What else is new," sneered Osaka Naru, whose mother ran a jewelry store. "Usagi is always late. She's like that school girl Magami Eiko on Project A-ko. She always wakes up late for school, rushes like a maniac and still winds up being late for her first class. If only she had superhuman strength, superhuman speed and had Kotobuki Shiko in tow, as well as long-flowing red hair, the image would be perfect."

"I've seen every film in that series," boasted Umino Gurio, the geeky guy who was Naru's boyfriend. "A-ko, B-ko and C-ko are real funny!"

"And you must be 'The Upchuck of Japan!,'" sneered Daria.

"What's an 'Upchuck?,'" Gurio asked.

"Nevermind," replied Daria.

Ms. Sakurada Haruna, who was the English teacher, stepped in the room. She noticed that it was time to start class.

"Oh, that Usagi's going to be late again, as usual, I see," began Ms. Sakurada. "Well, that hasn't stopped me before. Shall we begin class? We've got a new student here today who will take Ami's place after she leaves for her medical studies in Germany. Care to introduce yourself?"

Daria stepped up to the front of the room.

"My name's Daria Morgendorffer," she began. "I'm from Lawndale High School on a foreign exchange program. I hope that I will do well in your school and not be treated like an outcast like I am back home." She bowed and resumed her seat.

"Well, that was short and sweet," Ms. Sakurada responded. Suddenly, Usagi bolted into the room.

"Sorry I'm late, Ms. S! The bus was late!," was Usagi's rather pathetic reply.

"Usagi, you are so pathetic," shot back Ms. Sakurada. "You will wait outside in the hallway until class is over, then you and I are going to have a little talk in my office, young lady!"

"Does this happen every time?," Daria asked Ami.

"I'm afraid so," Ami answered.

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Later that day, school had let out for the day. All of the Sailor Senshi were going down the street, chatting girl talk.

"So, Ami, do you want a big going-away party before you leave, or what?," Usagi asked.

"Usagi, please don't make a big deal about it," pleaded Ami; "I'll get a chance to see you during such times as inter-semester breaks, holidays and such. Besides, I've never felt comfortable about going-away parties."

"How do you feel about having the type of party like we have back home in the United States?," Daria asked. "I guess you've heard about the types of parties high school kids have on Friday and Saturday nights."

"What do you mean?," Ami asked.

Daria began her description:

"Stale potato chips, warm beer, flat soda, loud heavy metal music, guys and gals making out--"

"DON'T GO ON!!!!!!!!!!," shrieked an embarrassed Ami.

"Ami, your cheeks are blushing!," giggled Hotaru.

"They are not!," roared Ami.

Just then, shots were heard at a nearby Mitsubishi Bank branch, and two armed robbers were running at full speed. When they got near the building, they saw that a security officer was shot to death.

"This looks like a job for the Sailor Senshi!," Usagi exclaimed.

The Sailor Senshi began their transformation sequences:

"ETERNAL MOON STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER CHIBI-MOON STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER MARS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER JUPITER STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER VENUS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER SATURN STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER URANUS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER NEPTUNE STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER PLUTO STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

Each Sailor Senshi had underwent her transformation; now it was Daria's turn.

"Here goes nothing!," she said. "SUPER MERCURY STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

Daria was soon transformed into Sailor Mercury.

"Daria, activate your VR equipment and track down the robbers," Ami instructed. A blue visor appeared on Daria. She was soon getting a reading.

"They went that way," Daria said.

"All right, then, let's move it!", said Sailor Moon, who was in her Eternal Mode, with wings. She flew ahead of them.

The robbers, meanwhile, had a couple of Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department officers on their tail.

"Halt, in the name of the law!," one of the officers roared.

"Eat lead, copper!," roared one of the crooks back. He took a gun and shot the cop down. The other cop went to help him. He took his portable radio and said, "Officer down! Officer down!"

"You're next, blue pig!," said the other crook as he put his .45 Magnum against his temple.

"Hold it right there, crooks!," said a nearby voice. "I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice. And these are the Sailor Senshi. In place of the Moon, we will punish you!"

Each of the other Sailor Senshi made her introductory speeches as well. It was now time for Daria to make hers:

"I am Sailor Mercury, Misery Chick of Justice! In the name of Mercury, I'm going to nag you to death!"

"What the Hell. . ." Sailor Moon found herself saying.

But there was no time to waste.

"Eat lead, Sailor Senshi!," yelled the first crook.

Just then, a red rose dart hit the ground.

"You shoot, and it will be the last thing you ever do," Tuxedo Mask said as he stepped out of the shadows.

"Here comes the calvary!," Daria said sarcastically.

Recently, the Sailor Senshi had been given some new powers, and now they were going to be put to the test.

Sailor Moon was going to be first. She yelled, "MOON THUNDER PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!" With that, she threw her fist, and it knocked both crooks off their feet.

Sailor Venus was next. "SUPER VENUS BLINDSIDER ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!," she screamed. With that a blinding light issued from her hands, temporarily blinding the crooks.

Daria was still new at this, so she decided to use one of Sailor Mercury's old powers. She shouted, "SHABON SPRAY. . .FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!" The crooks were frozen solid.

"Hmmm, just like in Duke Nukem 3D!," she quipped. Then, she went up to them, and kicked them. They shattered into little pieces.

"Your face, your ass, what's the difference!," she sneered.

The rest of the Sailor Senshi stood in disbelief, with their mouths wide open.

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Later, back at Sendai Hill Shrine, Daria was being reprimanded for her actions.

"Daria," Usagi began, "what you did was highly inappropriate! Sailor Senshi don't act that way!"

"Usagi's right," Luna added. "You have to stop acting sarcastically! You're just lucky the TMPD decided that the use of deadly force was justified in the case."

"Next time, you may not be so lucky!," Artemis said.

"You know," Daria replied, "all of you should go take a hike!" With that, Daria stormed away.

"I'm beginning to think that Ami made a big mistake asking Daria to take her place, Luna," Usagi said.

"Right now, we're stuck with her," Luna replied; "Ami's leaving for Germany the day after tomorrow, so there's nothing much else we can do for now."

"I just hope she can keep her temper in check, that's all," Usagi said resignedly.

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Gov. Nagai was holding another rally, this time at the foot of Tokyo Tower. Another huge crowd had gathered, and they were shouting "NAGAI!!!!!!!!!! NAGAI!!!!!!!!!! NAGAI!!!!!!!!!!", awaiting for the arrival of the candidate.

In a nearby trailer, Gov. Nagai was speaking to the Solar Warrior, whom he managed to locate shortly after he saved his life.

"Believe me, Solar Warrior," Gov. Nagai began, "I'm making a generous offer. Besides, if I'm elected and my proposal goes through, you could find yourself in a good position in government."

"My allegiance is with Amaterasu-Omikami," responded the Solar Warrior. "I have served her for untold millennia, back when there was no Japan as we know it. You must understand that I serve my goddess first, then my nation."

"Of course," Gov. Nagai said. "The Americans have a saying for that: 'For God and Country.' Far be it from me to tell you to quit the employ of your mistress. All I'm asking is for you to head this agency I'm proposing. If all goes well, we'll make the best law enforcement apparatus in the world even better."

"Very well," said the Solar Warrior. "If it will serve to advance both my faith and my nation, so be it."

"I'm glad to see we're at agreement," Gov. Nagai said, relieved. "Might as well tell my adoring public about this."

Gov. Nagai, the Solar Warrior and the entire campaign staff stepped out of the trailer and onto the platform set up for the occasion. Stepping up to the podium, Gov. Nagai began to speak:

"My friends, I have someone here you may be familiar with. This is the brave hero who stopped the assassin who was determined to end my life yesterday. He calls himself the Solar Warrior. I owe my life to this person, and there's only one way I can pay him back. I've decided to name him as my chief of security during my campaign. He deserves this honor."

"Further, I hereby announce that if I am elected, one of the first things I plan to introduce in the Diet is a bill creating a new Agency of Superhuman Activity Co-Ordination. Such an agency would help the various superhumans and superhuman groups work together with our local and national police forces to help stop some of the bigger threats to our well-being and safety. We already have one of the lowest crime rates in the world; this will ensure that it stays that way."

The crowd cheered loudly. Shouts of "NAGAI!!!!!!!!!!", "BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!", and "SOLAR WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!" filled the air as Gov. Nagai and the rest of his campaign staff--the Solar Warrior included--left for campaign headquarters.

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Ryu had made his way to Azabu-ku, where his friend Mamoru lived in a rather well‑appointed apartment. He rang the doorbell and waited a few seconds.

"Ryu? What brings you here?," Mamoru asked.

"Is there anyone else here with you?," Ryu responded.

"No," said Mamoru.

"Good," Ryu replied as he stepped inside. "What I have to tell you is not to leave this room. I am actually an agent for the Japanese Special Intelligence Bureau. I've been working on a special assignment in regard to the activities of an organization called the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association. They're a extreme right-wing organization that wants to return Japan to its military-influenced wartime government. They plan to do so by stealing the prototype of the new Mitsubishi Neo-Zero Advanced Jet Fighter now being developed. They plan to use it to bomb Tokyo to rubble unless the civilian government hands over power to them. The SDF can't stop them alone, and neither can the JSIB. We were hoping that you can contact the Sailor Senshi for us; they may be our only hope."

"How do I know that you're being on the level with me on this matter?," demanded Mamoru.

"Because the JSIB has extensive knowledge of the Sailor Senshi's activities," said Ryu. "We've got files on every member back to their earliest childhood. If you're think we're joking, take a look at this."

Ryu gave him a file with the name "CHIBA MAMORU" on it. He opened it up and looked at it. Sure enough, all of it was there: pictures of his parents; of the car wreck that killed them; of his days at the orphanage; of his activities as Tuxedo Mask; of his activities as Endymion when he was brainwashed to work for the Dark Kingdom; of his activities as Moonlight Knight; of his recent mysterious disappearance during a flight to the United States. It was all there.

"How did you get these pictures?," demanded Mamoru.

Ryu replied, "We have our ways, Mamoru. I have Usagi's file here as well." He pulled it out and began perusing it. "Did you know that when she was in kindergarten, she dumped a cup of chocolate pudding on her best friend Osaka Naru because she called her a 'dweeb'? Or that she can't stand carrots? Or that she's never really been able to figure you out?"

Mamoru said curtly, "Oh, and I bet you have her bra size in there as well?"

"Not even worth mentioning," dismissed Ryu. "You see, Mamoru, we've got the goods on all of you. This is a serious matter we're talking about here. Now, we need to know if the Sailor Senshi are on our side or not?"

"Very well, you win," said Mamoru resignedly. "We'll help you in this matter. But I want those files destroyed. If they ever fall in the wrong hands, it could compromise our identities."

"Consider it done, my friend," replied Ryu. "We will contact you when we feel that we need your assistance. Until then, take care."

Ryu left the apartment building, but he didn't take even five steps when he turned around. Apparently, some NIRAA ninja spies had been following him; they were dressed in black and had katana blades, bo quarterstaffs, sais, nunchuckas and throwing stars.

"You traitor!," said the leader of the group. "We should have suspected from the beginning that you were a double agent! We'll put an end to your miserable existence at once!"

The ninja spies charged on him. Ryu stood his ground, then launched into a roundhouse kick that sent two of them crashing to the ground. Three more fell to blows to their solar plexus, and two more fell to blows to the neck. One more was left standing. He decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and ran.

"Run like the coward you are!," Ryu shouted. He decided to report this matter to Gen. Torymura at once.

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Back at Lawndale, the high school football team was holding a scrimmage. George Gibson, the regular coach was sick with the flu, so Anthony DeMartino, the neurotic social studies teacher, was filling in for him.

Mack was calling the next play:

"34 red, 34 red, 45, 49, hike, hike!"

Kevin was fading back for a pass, but then fumbled the ball. Mack could only groan in disappointment.

"Kevin," Mr. DeMartino said as his right eye bulged in anger, "for a star quarterback, sometimes you play pathetically! How are we going to win the big game Saturday against Highland if you keep fumbling the ball?"

"Sorry, Mr. DeMartino," replied Kevin, "but I keep being distracted seeing Brittany practicing her jumps over there."

Sure enough, Brittany was indeed practicing her jumps; with the tight sweater she was wearing, her breasts were jiggling like crazy.

Up in the stands sat Jane, Quinn, Jane's brother Trent, Jodie and Upchuck; his real name was Charles Ruttheimer, but since he was so perverted and geeky, he was called Upchuck. Quinn was expecting the other members of the Fashion Club to arrive shortly.

"What a boring scrimmage!," Quinn started. "How are we going to win the game if we keep acting like a bunch of morons?"

Upchuck went up to Quinn and said, "Why don't we go back to my place and have our own scrimmage? ROWR!!!!!!!!!!"

"Keep away from me, Upchuck!," shrieked Quinn.

"I see not all of the morons are out on the field," Jane retorted.

"Man, I can't believe Daria won't be here for this game," Trent said. "She never liked football, but she likes being here for the big game against Highland. She always likes to heckle Beavis and Butt-Head; it's the only time her two former classmates from Highland High School ever come to visit Lawndale every year. It's been that way since she moved here to Lawndale a couple of years back."

"Well, you know what they say, Trent," Jane said, "'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'"

"Tell me about it," Trent said with a sigh.

"Oh, look, here comes the Fashion Club!," Quinn chirped. Sandi Griffin, the club president, entered first followed by Stacy Rowe, the club secretary, and then Tiffany Blum‑Deckler, the club treasurer.

"Like, sorry we're late and all that," Sandi began to say, "but, like my cat pooped all over this outfit I'm wearing and I had to wash it up."

"Stuff like that happens," Quinn said.

"Hey, everything's all set for us to sell goodies at the game," Stacy said. "Tiffany and I have baked up a whole batch of cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and so forth."

"But, UGH!!!!!!!!!! I've got dishpan hands now!," whined Tiffany.

"Like, just remember, Tiffany," Sandi said, "it's all for a good cause: the Fashion Club."

"Why don't they give it to charity like Student Government does?," Jodie asked Jane.

"They are a charity case," replied Jane, "They all need new brains, new personalities and ego deflation!"

Jodie got a good snicker over that remark.

Jesse Moreno, Trent's bandmate on the rock band Mystik Spiral, arrived.

"Trent, man, it's all set!," he said.

"What's all set, Jesse?," asked Trent.

Jesse continued, "We're gonna sing the national anthem at the big game. I just spoke to Ms. Li, the principal, and she's promised to pay us $1000 for the gig."

"And just where is Ms. Li going to get $1000 from," Quinn said. "The expenses for this game have already gone over budget!"

"Yeah," Jane added, "and the last time this happened, the Board of Education and the school superintendent reprimanded her big time for wasting taxpayers' money. We're just lucky Bob Schulz didn't show up and sue the school district!"

"Hey, where she gets the bread from don't matter to me, man," Trent said, "just as long as we get it."

Meanwhile, another play was being run on the field. This time, Kevin made a perfect spiral pass. Mack snagged it and ran it down for a touchdown.

"Now, that's what I like to see, people!," Mr. DeMartino said.

Brittany saw that and shouted "YEAH!!!!!!!!!! GO, GO LAWNDALE!!!!!!!!!!"

Just then, Jane thought she heard some familiar laughter:

"HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!!!!!!!!"

"UH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh, no!," Jane said, "it can't be those two!"

Sure enough, it was Beavis and Butt-Head. They went up in the stands.

"Uh, Quinn, where's your sister, Diarrhea?," Butt-Head asked.

"Yeah, like we want to talk to her and stuff," Beavis added.

"Well, Daria isn't here today!," Quinn began; "she went over to Japan on a foreign exchange program."

"Man, that sucks!," Beavis answered.

"Listen, you two," Jane said, "all because Daria isn't here doesn't mean you can go pick on Quinn at the game on Saturday. If you do anything to her, I'll scratch your eyes out!"

"Uh, like is that a threat or a promise?," Butt-Head asked.

Jane said rather icily, "BOTH!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHOA!!!!!!!!!!," Butt-Head said.

Beavis and Butt-Head sat down and watched a few plays. Kevin was once again fumbling the ball. After a while, those two got bored.

"This scrimmage sucks!," Beavis said.

"Uh, let's liven things up a bit, Beavis!," Butt-Head responded.

They soon got out two brown paper bags they had taken with them and pulled out some firecrackers.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!," Jane roared.

"Uh, like we're going to set off firecrackers and stuff!," Butt-Head said; "What do you think we were going to do, asswipe?"

They set off a whole string of them and tossed them onto the field. The whole team started to scatter.

"HEH-HEH-HEH!!!!!!!!!! See me toss this big one out there, Butt-Head!," Beavis said. He lit the fuse and tossed it out. It landed right on Kevin, and it went off in his left eye. Kevin collapsed in agony.

"KEVIN!!!!!!!!!!," shrieked Brittany, who saw the whole thing go down. She then fainted.

Beavis and Butt-Head made good their escape while everyone was gathered around Kevin.

"Someone call 911, dammit!," shrieked Mr. DeMartino.

Kevin was taken to Lawndale General Hospital. An examination revealed that most of the explosion was absorbed by his helmet, and damage to his eye was negligible. His vision checked out OK, but he was held overnight for observation, and released the next day.

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At the next meeting of the Lawndale Militia, Anthony Corlew brought up the matter of the firecracker attack at the scrimmage:

"Fellow comrades in arms, this is just another reason why we need to take over Lawndale. With our agenda of law and order, filth like Beavis and Butt-Head, as well as people of color and crippled folks, will be kept out of our community. We don't need white trash like those two ruining our town! When they return, we need to lynch them, to teach a lesson to Highland that we won't tolerate their shenanigans here in Lawndale!"

Those in attendance cheered the speech.

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"I have failed you, Master!" With that, the only NIRAA ninja who escaped from Ryu (the others had been arrested) committed seppuku in front of Dr. Vander Helffen. Dr. Vander Helffen ordered the body disposed of. Yoriko entered the room.

"What was that all about?," she asked.

"Our attempt to kill Ryu failed," began Dr. Vander Helffen. "We sent some ninja spies to track him down, and he has alerted someone named Chiba Mamoru to our plans. They were going to kill Ryu, but he was too strong for them. I want you to personally kill Ryu."

"Your orders will be obeyed, Dr. Vander Helffen," said Yoriko.

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Ryu had just returned to Gen Torymura and told him all about his meeting with Mamoru, as well as the attack by the NIRAA ninja spies.

"They're on to us; I was afraid they would," Gen. Torymura said. "I'm going to order security tightened to the biggest extent possible immediately at the base where the prototype is being stored. When we do need the Sailor Senshi, they are to be briefed on this matter."

"Everything will be done as you have ordered, General," answered Ryu.

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The day had arrived for Ami to leave for Germany. All the Sailor Senshi were with her at Narita Airport, as well as both her mother and her father.

"Well, I guess this is it," Ami said.

"Ami, you'll always be in our hearts," Usagi began to say. "When you do come back, you can always rejoin us. The door is always open."

"Here, take this," Rei said. "It's a special 'Safe Journey' charm. I hope you have a safe flight."

"I want you to make your mother and I very proud of you," said Ami's father. "I always knew in my heart that you are a very intelligent young lady."

"As for you, Daria," Ami said, "Keep the home fires burning."

"Mom told me never to play with matches," Daria said.

"Still with your sarcastic humor, I see," Usagi said.

"Ami, I hope you will be a success in your endeavors," Mamoru added. "We're all rooting for you."

Ami couldn't hold it back anymore. The tears were beginning to flow.

"I'm really going to miss you guys!," Ami sobbed, then hugged each of her friends and family. "I'd better get on board the plane now!"

A chorus of "Farewell" followed her down the gate.

"Good luck!," Usagi added.

Not noticed by anyone, Akbar el-Salaam had boarded the plane right behind Ami. Since most of the nuclear device was plastic in composition (it even had a plastique primer), he managed to scoot by security with that and some machine guns--also made mostly of plastic--with no problems.

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Half an hour had passed on the flight. A flight attendant in one of the most revealing uniforms ever worn by such a person--it had a microminiskirt and the blazer, vest and shirt revealed a lot of cleavage--went up to Ami and asked her what she wanted for lunch.

"What do you have?," replied Ami.

The flight attendant answered, "We have yellow fin tuna or beef teriyaki."

"UGH!!!!!!!!!!," said Ami in disgust, "I can't stand yellow fin tuna! I'll have the beef teriyaki."

The flight attendant went to the next seat and asked him what he wanted.

Suddenly, Akbar leapt up, grabbed one of his machine guns and roared "ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!! This is Islamic Jihad! We are seizing this plane in the name of Allah! You are to fly this plane to Lawndale, USA, or I will kill everyone aboard!"

Screams of panic filled the plane. Ami now realized that she wasn't going to Germany today. And she had to be there to register for classes, or forfeit her tuition deposit. But that was no longer a grave concern, not when death stared you in the face. For Mizuno Ami, she had to take action and save the plane from this madman.

Data 4: Jihad at 25,000 Feet

kbar was in a rage now. He started to fire indiscriminately at anyone he could vent his anger at. Ami ducked down just as a stray bullet buried itself into the left temple of the passenger in front of her. Akbar grabbed the flight attendant, and ripped her blazer, vest and shirt off, leaving her bra barely hanging by the tattered straps. She began to cry as Akbar stormed forward into the cockpit.

"GO TO HELL, INFIDEL!!!!!!!!!!", he roared as his gun spat bullets everywhere. The pilot, co-pilot and navigator fell dead. Akbar then went to the control and programmed the auto pilot on a course for Lawndale. He then stormed back into the first class compartment.

"There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is His prophet!," roared Akbar. "The Great Satan will burn in Hell for all eternity! Death to the American Satan! The infidel must die! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!" Akbar then undid the buttons of his shirt and revealed the nuclear device strapped to his abdomen. With a calm dexterity he armed the device for the precise moment the plane would be flying over Lawndale High School's football field.

Ami was still in a ducked position. She was trying to get her mini-computer/communicator that she always carried with her and try to send a message back to Tokyo; she finally found it and activated it.

"This is Ami!," she began; "Usagi, Rei, Mako, Minako, Mamoru, anyone, can you hear me! We're being held hostage!"

Akbar heard what was going on, and stormed right to Ami's seat. He grabbed Ami by the hair and roared a savage yell.

"You will pay for that, you American pig!," he screamed.

"My name is Mizuno Ami," she began to reply. "I am a citizen of Japan. That is all I will tell you!"

"American, Japanese, it doesn't matter to me!," Akbar yelled back; "You will pay for what you did, infidel!"

Then Akbar savagely threw a left hook right into Ami's right eye, causing her to yelp in excruciating pain as she collapsed on the floor. He then began to kick her on the floor, kicking her in every conceivable area: her head, her pelvis, her legs, her shins, the base of her spine, the solar plexus. He then took the butt of one of his guns and began to hit her with that as well. Fifteen horrifying minutes later, Ami was horribly black and blue. Ami began to cry.

"DON'T CRY, YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!", Akbar roared as he slapped her across the face. He then seized her by the collar of her seifuku and ripped it in half. "Take the rest of your clothes off now!"

Ami was too afraid at this point to refuse. She took what was left of her tattered clothes off and submitted to a humiliating search. There was nowhere Akbar left unexamined.

"At least you don't have any more devices on you!;" shouted Akbar; "As far as I know, you might be an agent for the CIA or the FBI or even working for the Russians! I don't trust you, you swine! I'm locking you in the lavatory until we reach our destination!"

"But what if we have to go to there?," said one passenger.

Akbar fired his machine gun and killed him. "SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!," he roared. He then took the nude Ami and threw her into the lavatory, putting a food cart next to it so Ami couldn't open the door.

Ami was all alone now. She could see bruises all over her body. She hadn't felt so alone or so helpless since her mother told her that she was getting a divorce from her father. Ami began to cry.

"Queen Serenity, help me in my time of need!", she sobbed silently.

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Akbar had returned to the first class cabin. He was extremely enraged now. He began to scream out a diatribe against the United States:

"The Great Satan must pay for his atrocities against Islam! The Great Satan must be destroyed for his supporting the Jewish interlopers in Palestine! The Great Satan must suffer for his sins of arrogance! Death to the American Satan! The infidel must die!"

Everyone on the plane was cowed into silence with his ranting.

Suddenly, he said, "I now hereby order all of you to sing!"

"What do you want us to sing?," asked another passenger.

Akbar commanded, "You are to sing 'Morning Has Broken' from that great singer Yusuf Islam, or as you infidels know him, Cat Stevens. He supports the Ayatollah Khomeini's death sentence against that pig, Salman Rushdie. Anyone who refuses to sing will be shot! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!"

Slowly, at first, the crowd began to sing:

"Morning has broken/Like the first morning..."

"LOUDER!!!!!!!!!!," Akbar screamed.

The crowd began to sing louder. Akbar then headed to the cockpit, shoved the corpse of the pilot aside and got on the radio to announce what he had just done. After that, he sent a machine gun burst into the radio, disabling it. He then returned to the first class cabin.

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Back at Japan, the news spread like wildfire as soon as it got off the wires:

"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming here at NHK to bring you this special bulletin. A Japan Air Lines jet from Narita Airport to Berlin, Germany, has just been hijacked by a terrorist who says he's with Islamic Jihad. He has set a course for the United States, destination unknown at this time. He claims to have already killed several passengers and will kill more unless he is given free passage to the United States. His ultimate intentions are unknown at this time. NHK will keep you posted on further developments as this alarming situation develops."

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Gov. Nagai, having heard the news, made hasty arrangements to address the issue at a press conference:

"My friends, I have received this distressing news myself only moments ago. My heart goes out to those aboard, especially our own fellow countrymen, who are now facing indescribable terror. To the hijacker, I must warn him that any further deaths on his part will result in the condemnation of the world."

"I assure everyone here, that if I am elected, I will introduce legislation that will address the threat of terrorism here in Japan. We only know too well that not even our nation is immune; witness the serin attack on the Tokyo subway system just three years ago. I propose that a joint special unit consisting of SDF and National Police personnel be formed to help combat the scourge of terrorism while at the same time adhere to the prohibitions of Article 9. I propose that better security measures be put in place at our airports, railway stations and maritime facilities. It is time to send a message to terrorists of all stripes that Japan will no longer be an easy target for them."

Gov. Nagai left without taking any questions from the press.

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The Sailor Senshi were gathered at Sendai Hill Temple when the news broke. Rei and her grandfather didn't own a television themselves, but Kumada Yuuichirou, a retired rock singer who had been living in the shrine for several years now, had one in his room. When he saw the bulletin, he raced out of his room and into the courtyard.

"Guys! Guys! You've got to see this!," Yuuichirou said; "It was just on NHK, but I can get it on CNN as well!" Since Yuuichirou had a satellite dish installed, he could pull in the American cable channels like CNN.

"What's going on, Yuuichirou?," Rei asked.

"Something about a hijacking or something like that, Rei," Yuuichirou replied.

Everyone scrambled to Yuuichirou's room. He had tuned in to CNN. Wolf Blitzer was at the State Department covering the event.

"We can now confirm that Islamic Jihad is behind this," Blitzer said. "The Imam Al‑Kabaz, who heads the Beirut branch of the organization, announced that it was Akbar el-Salaam who took control of the JAL flight from Tokyo to Berlin and has now set a course for the United States. Islamic Jihad still refuses to reveal where in the United States the plane will land, if it does at all."

"Oh, my god! Ami's on that flight!," Usagi said.

"What can we do?", Haruka added "Right now, they're right in the middle of the ocean."

Suddenly, Rei's grandfather raced in.

"Rei! Rei! Come quickly!," he said. "The Great Fire is raging out of control!"

Everyone ran to where the Great Fire was burning. Sure enough, it was indeed burning furiously as it had never burned before.

"This is not a good sign," Rei said. "There are demonic forces at play here."

Phobos and Deimos, Rei's pet crows, had flown in and witnessed the fire. They were beginning to act strangely, like Rei had never seen them act before.

"In all my years I have been the priest of this shrine, I have never witnesses anything like this!," Rei's grandfather said. "In fact, nowhere in the shrine chronicles has anything this intense ever happened until now! May all the kami and megami of our faith protect us at this trying time!"

Usagi turned to Daria and told her, "Now you understand the seriousness of what we do here. This is no kid's game we're engaged in. I used to be a big crybaby and whine a lot, but now I know what my destiny is. I'm supposed to lead humanity to a better future, and fight those who would destroy that vision. Daria, you have to tell me right now: Are you in for this--no matter how high the stakes get in this situation--or are you out?"

Daria now knew the gravity of the situation. God only knows where the terrorist was taking the plane; even the people she cared for (in her own way) might be in danger.

"I'm in," Daria replied in her calm, monotone voice.

"I request that all of you leave me here while I meditate," Rei asked.

"Now, when all Hell's breaking loose?," Mako said in shock.

"I will pray for the deliverance of the hostages," Rei replied. Rei's grandfather and Yuuichirou ushered the others out of the room. Rei got on her knees, the sweat from the intense heat of the fire dropping from her forehead like mad. She raised her hands in supplication.

"Mother," Rei began, "I know you can hear me. I have prayed to you since your death. You know that I miss you dearly, but you and Grandpa taught me the ways of the miko. I pray to you now to help my friend Ami. She too has suffered pain and suffering in her life, and now her own life is in jeopardy. If she is in mortal danger, help her. I cannot help her myself now, for she is far away. Listen to my entreaties, Mother. This I pray in the name of Amaterasu-Omikami, the Great Heaven Shining Deity who watches over our people."

Suddenly, the fire died out. A woman in flowing red robes, robes that seem to be aflame with the very fire of the Sun itself, appeared; she had long, flowing black hair and her eyes seemed to be aflame with solar fire themselves. It was Amaterasu-Omikami herself. Rei did not want to admit it, but now she was trembling.

"Do not be afraid of me, my child," Amaterasu-Omikami began to say; "I have heard your supplication and all shall be done as you have asked." She reached a hand out to her forehead, and it seemed energy flowed from her to Rei.

"Receive this gift of mine; it is extra energy to help you in the ordeal ahead," Amaterasu-Omikami said. "Go in peace, my child." With that, she vanished, and Rei seemed to faint. She recovered a few minutes later and left the room. She did not dare reveal at the time what had happened.

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It was the morning of the big game at Lawndale, due to the time difference. The Lawndale Militia had gathered for a pre-attack meeting. Anthony Corlew stood up deliver a pre-attack speech:

"My comrades in arms! This is the big day we have been planning for months now. If we need yet another reason why we need to take over Lawndale, then the nation, it is in the news we've all heard this morning. The hijacking of the JAL flight proves that we need to seize power. If we had a government that was not afraid to use its military might when needed, things like this wouldn't happen. Our present philandering, draft-dodging President does not have the balls to use his powers that are given to him. And if--God forbid--the hijacker explodes the plane over our airspace, it will not look good for us. Therefore, in the name of all that is right with the white middle class, let us mobilize and take our positions."

The members of the militia got up and began to move out.

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Dr. Vander Helffen was watching the coverage of the hijacking situation on Asahi TV. He had summoned Yoriko, who was expected to arrive shortly.

Yoriko entered. Dr. Vander Helffen motioned her to sit down. He said:

"Yoriko, now is the time for us to launch 'Operation Iron Fist.' Now that the attention of the world is focused on this hijacking, now is the time to strike. Get our best ninja soldiers together and get some sarin bombs and proceed to the joint SDF/USAF base near Yokohama. Now is the time to strike while the iron is hot!"

"Understood, Dr. Vander Helffen," responded Yoriko.

Data 5: The NIRAA Strikes!

t Lawndale High School, Mr. DeMartino was speaking to Angela Li, the principal. He was trying to persuade her to cancel the game due to some security concerns.

"Ms. Li," Mr. DeMartino began, "given the fact that a terrorist has seized a plane and has it going to the United States has me gravely concerned that there might be a chance he might bring it over to our community. We should cancel the game."

"Forget it, DeMartino," Ms. Li said, "there's too much money at stake here! We've got a sold out stadium, I promised Mystic Spiral I'd pay them $1000 for playing the national anthem, and the Fashion Club's poised to make a lot of sales with their homemade goodies."

"Dammit, Ms. Li," Mr. DeMartino roared, "is money all you ever think about? What about people's lives?"

"I could make things rather rough on you if I ask the Board of Education of start disciplinary hearings against you for insubordination!," warned Ms. Li.

With that, Mr. DeMartino realized that Ms. Li had him.

"All right," shouted Mr. DeMartino, "go ahead with your damn game, but it'll be on your conscience if anything happens to anyone out there!" With that, he left the office.

"Paranoid bastard!," Ms. Li dismissed the entire affair with a huff.

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Downtown Lawndale was quiet, since almost everyone was heading for the game. Meanwhile, the Lawndale Militia had quietly assumed attack positions. Trucks were parked in strategic positions in town. Anthony was making a check of the situation.

"Troop A ready at City Hall?," he said on a portable CB radio.

"Check," said the first troop leader.

"Troop B ready at Police Headquarters?," Anthony asked.

"Check," replied the second troop leader.

Finally, Anthony asked, "Troop C ready at the Courthouse?"

"Check," stated the third troop leader. All was set.

"OK, now we wait for the right moment to strike," said Anthony.

Almost no one noticed when a bus stopped and left off Beavis and Butt-Head, who began their hideous laughter as they headed down the street toward the high school.

"Wait a minute," Anthony said, "it's those two idiots who threw firecrackers at the scrimmage."

"Should we kill them?," Poindexter asked.

"No," Anthony replied. "We'll deal with those two soon enough. Hold your positions. It'll only make the taste of victory that much sweeter."

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The joint SDF/USAF base near Yokohama was one of the biggest on Honshu, the main island of Japan. Airman First Class Brian Mackenzie, Mack's cousin, was doing some routine maintenance on his F-15C Eagle when he got the orders.

"Mackenzie," Sgt. Frank Stone said, "we've just got our orders in from the Pentagon. We are to intercept the JAL plane and force the terrorist to land the plane outside the mainland. Your unit is to scramble immediately."

Brian didn't waste time. He finished up his maintenance and got ready to go. He didn't even notice the white, unmarked truck that was approaching the gate. The two guards on sentry duty did, but they were ran over as the truck crashed through the gate and pulled to a stop. It was what he saw next that was shocking.

The NIRAA ninja soldiers pulled out small black boxes, pushed the buttons on them, and then donned gas masks. Brian, not a fool, got into the cockpit of his fighter and activated the oxygen. The devices went off, sending deadly clouds of sarin gas in the air. There was enough to kill everyone outside.

Brian activated his radio and alerted the tower:

"This is Airman Mackenzie to tower! Some terrorists have just entered the base and activated sarin bombs! Seal all vents in all buildings at once! I'll try to stop the terrorists until help comes. Out!"

The cloud began to subside, and the ninja terrorists moved toward the hangar where the Neo-Zero prototype was being stored. They now had their masks off. It turned out that one of the ninja soldiers was none other than Yoriko herself.

"Open the doors to that hanger!," she ordered.

Two of the ninja soldiers opened the doors, and the Neo-Zero prototype was now revealed. It was unlike any jet fighter the SDF currently had. Based on the rejected YF‑23 design from Northrop/McDonnell Douglas, the Neo-Zero was vastly improved by Mitsubishi over the original design specifications. The capacity for AAM's had been doubled thanks to the design of new, smaller and more effective "Neo-Sidewinder" missiles; one of those had the explosive power of two regular Sidewinders. The machine guns were also new: it was the experimental 35-mm "Deathgrip" cannon. Further, radar jamming devices on the fighter made it even more stealthy than it already was. All in all, the Neo-Zero was a worthy successor to the legendary fighter plane that was its namesake; although paying homage to the past, it was symbolizing Japan's ascendancy as the second most powerful nation in the world, a nation that was committed to peace, albeit it was ready to defend that peace if need be.

Yoriko stepped up to the cockpit and opened the canopy. She stepped in and began the pre-flight check.

Brian had seen what was going on. Until help arrived, it was up to him to stop the hijacking.

"Hold it right there!," he yelled.

Yoriko had started the Neo-Zero up, and it was slowly taxiing out of the hangar toward Brian.

"I said to hold it right there!," he repeated.

Yoriko fired the Deathgrip cannon. Brian got out of the way, only to be in the way of several ninja soldiers who proceeded to use their nunchuckas on him. Yoriko now got on the runway and put the plane on full throttle; it was roaring down the runway and soon took off. Yoriko activated the afterburners and soon the craft reached its maximum speed of Mach 2.5, once again an improvement over the YF-23's original performance specs. Yoriko armed all systems, and set a course for Tokyo.

Luckily for Brian, several MP's arrived on the scene. After a brief scuffle, the ninja soldiers had been captured, but already the damage had been done.

One of the MP's asked Brian, "Did you see what happened?"

"Every last thing, Sir," Brian said. "I tried to stop them, but they had detonated serin bombs. I was lucky to escape that, they tried again to stop them. They overwhelmed me."

"Airman," replied the MP, "this is a very serious matter that's just happened here. Whoever has that fighter can cause havoc anywhere in Japan right now. But at least your quick thinking might have spared quite a few lives inside. We're going to send you to Gen. Torymura for a debriefing."

Brian followed the MP's as they put the captured ninja soldiers in a truck. They were soon heading for the base stockade and the main administration building.

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Sendai Hill Shrine was abuzz with activity. Reports were coming in about the JAL situation, and now the report of the theft of the Neo-Zero was coming in.

"We've just got this report in from Yokohama," an NHK anchorperson began to say. "An experimental jet fighter has just been stolen from the joint SDF/USAF base located at the port city. It seems to be on a direct course for Tokyo. SDF and American military personnel are asking all civilians to take necessary precautions in case of an air attack. We will have further warnings and bulletins here on NHK as we receive them."

"I guess now I should tell you about my meeting with Ryu," Mamoru said.

"What do you mean, Mamo-chan?," Usagi asked.

Mamoru began, "Ryu asked--I digress, demanded--the Sailor Senshi's assistance in case the Neo-Zero fighter was hijacked. We have no choice. Special Intelligence has extensive files on each of us."

"But they don't have one on me," Daria was quick to point out.

"Not yet," Mamoru replied.

Mamoru's cellular phone began to ring.

"Hello, Chiba Mamoru speaking," was his answer.

"Mamoru," said the voice on the phone, "this is Ryu. The time has come. You and the others are to go to the joint SDF/USAF base in Yokohama for you assignment briefing immediately." Ryu stopped there and hung up.

"We've just got our orders," said Mamoru. "We've got to move it to the SDF/USAF base at once."

Usagi never thought that the Sailor Senshi would ever be called to stop an internal threat to Japan; always the threat was from outer space, from another dimension, from another time. Now Usagi and the others had grown up too fast.

"All right, everyone!," said Usagi, "It looks like we have no choice in this matter! Prepare to transform!"

The Sailor Senshi began their transformations again:

"ETERNAL MOON STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER CHIBI-MOON STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER MARS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER JUPITER STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER VENUS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER SATURN STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER URANUS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER NEPTUNE STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER PLUTO STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUPER MERCURY STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

As soon as each of the Sailor Senshi and Mamoru had completed their transformation, they headed for the base.

"I never thought my trip was going to take this turn!," Daria said to herself, still fussing over her seirafuku.

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"Ladies and gentlemen," Gen. Torymura began to speak, "I guess you know why you're here right now. The Neo-Zero prototype has been stolen by the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association, an extreme right-wing organization that wants to restore the wartime military government that had ruled Japan. This aircraft is so advanced, it makes every jet fighter now with the SDF obsolete. The NIRAA's objective is to use the Neo-Zero in a terrorist campaign to bomb Tokyo until the civilian government surrenders to them. Your mission is to stop the Neo-Zero and the NIRAA at all costs. You have complete authority to use whatever means necessary to stop them. Do I make myself clear?"

"General," Sailor Moon began, "with all due respect, the Sailor Senshi are not some mercenary force; we don't go out on commando missions for anyone."

"Listen, sister," Gen. Torymura replied, "this isn't any fun and games here! You're not dealing with some powerful alien beings trying to take over the world! We're dealing with a ruthless terrorist organization that wants to re-annex both Koreas, all of Sakhalin Island, the Kuriles and Taiwan as well as retake the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, Singapore, Malaysia, India, Pakistan, The People's Republic of China, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Vietnam, Mynamar, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, the Pescadores, Indonesia and the various Oceanic nations. They've even issued grandiose statements about waging nuclear war against the United States, Russia, Great Britain and France. Sailor Moon, or shall I call you Ms. Tsukino, this is a very grave matter. This isn't something you can just say some magic words and hope your enemies turn to dust. We must use force against the NIRAA and stop them from destroying half a century of progress!"

"But by using some of the methods your government denounces the NIRAA in using, isn't your government being hypocritical?," Daria retorted.

"No one asked you, sister!," Gen. Torymura replied. "And who the Hell are you anyway? You're not Mizuno Ami, alias Sailor Mercury!"

"No, I'm not," she replied. "I'm Daria Morgendorffer from the United States. I'm filling in for Ms. Mizuno. She's now on board the JAL plane that's been taken hostage by Islamic Jihad."

"Don't get wise with me, Ms. Morgendorffer!," replied Gen. Torymura. "You may sass around like you do back in the United States, but remember, we have a saying here in Japan: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down!'"

"And we have a saying back at the United States you should know about," snapped back Daria.

"And what's that?," demanded Gen. Torymura.

"'Up yours!,'" shouted Daria.

Gen. Torymura seemed to blow a fuse.

"Daria, that was uncalled for!", Luna said, dropping her reservations about speaking when strangers were about.

"You listen and you listen good, all of you!," said Gen. Torymura. "You will co‑operate with us, or you will never get out of all the possible legal trouble you could face!"

Daria seized Gen. Torymura by his lapels and threw him against the wall.

"Now you listen to me, Sir!," growled Daria. "I've got a friend on board that JAL flight and I'm scared for her! For the first time in my life, I'm worried for my family back home! The last thing I need is your military crap! We'll stop the NIRAA from blowing up Tokyo and maybe get your precious Neo-Zero back, but we want to play by our rules! Adults screw up things a lot as it is! And the last thing I need is some holier-than-thou flag officer in my face!"

Daria let go of him and he seemed to slink to the floor. He got us slowly.

"Fine, do it your way," he finally conceded; "see if I care. I'm not going to argue with a bullheaded, hotheaded American gaijin-shojo with an attitude problem. I just hope to God you save our nation, that's all."

Somehow, Daria had a humbling effect on Gen. Torymura.

"We'd better check the radar readings," he finally said. They left to go to the radar room.

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Yoriko was now over Tokyo. She was trying to pick her first target. She saw the famed Sendai Hill Shrine ahead of her.

"That will be my first target!," she said.

She locked on the target on the fighter's HUD, then pressed the fire button. One of the Neo-Sidewinders ejected from the fighter and flew straight for the shrine.

Yuuichirou saw the missile firing and ran to get Rei's grandfather. However, the missile was faster than him, and it blew the shrine to matchwood.

"DIRECT HIT!!!!!!!!!!," Yoriko roared.

Yoriko then flew toward the Kuriles. The NIRAA had a secret base there, since it was in Russian jurisdiction, and Japan dared not try to follow here there. Dr. Vander Helffen was supposed to meet her there.

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The radar at the SDF/USAF base was tracking the movements of the Neo-Zero. It has just seen the attack.

"Sir," said the SDF private who was checking the radar for Gen. Torymura, "I believe that the fighter just attacked in the area of Sendai Hill."

A sickening thought raced through Rei's mind when she heard that.

"Oh, no! Not Grandpa!," she screamed. There was only one thing to do: head back to the shrine.

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When they got to the shrine, the TMPD as well as the Tokyo Fire Department were already on the scene. Several TMPD officers were digging through the rubble when they pulled out Yuuichirou. Rei ran up to him; he was barely alive.

"Yuuichirou," Rei said, "where's Grandpa? Is he alive?"

"I don't know," was all he said. He blacked out.

"Get him to the hospital!," one of the TMPD officers sharply ordered a paramedic. Yuuichirou was taken away.

"We've found something!," said a firefighter.

Rei raced up to where the fireman was. They had unearthed something, all right. Rei stopped in her tracks when she saw what it was. It was the short, bald corpse of her grandfather, still clad in his priestly clothes.

She yelled, "Grandpa, it's me, Rei. Please tell me you're all right!" She began to shake the corpse.

The firefighter looked for vital signs. "No pulse, no respiration," he said. " I'm sorry, Miss, but he's dead."

Rei shrieked with a loud "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!," and began to cry uncontrollably. Daria went up to her and let her rest her head on her shoulder.

"I'm very sorry, Rei," Daria said, and for the first time in her teenage life, she was beginning to cry herself. She never felt anything like this before.

"Grandpa," Rei began to say, "I will avenge your death! I will not rest until I've destroyed whoever did this to you!"

Usagi and the other Sailor Senshi began to cry as well. Mamoru gripped his gloved hands in fists of rage.

"Do not worry, Rei," he said to himself, "the Sailor Senshi and I will help you in this! This I swear!"

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A couple of hours had passed in the lavatory where Ami was being held prisoner. Ami had apparently fallen asleep, for then she saw a strange light, and someone standing next to her.

"Who are you?," she asked.

"I am the spirit of Hino Rei's mother," the apparition said. "My beloved daughter prayed to me and asked me to help you. I will grant you your deepest, fondest wish in your heart."

"I wish I had my Sailor Mercury powers back so I can save the passengers."

"So it shall be done." With a wave of her hand, the ghost imparted energy into Ami, and automatically she began the transformation to Sailor Mercury. Now with new-found strength, Ami kicked down the door.

Akbar heard it, and roared, "What's going on?"

"You evil man!," shouted Ami. "I will not allow you to carry out your plan! I am Super Sailor Mercury, Champion of Love and Justice! In the name of Mercury, I will punish you!"

"The only one who will be punished here will be you, infidel!," roared back Akbar. "And Allah's punishment is the worst of all! He will condemn you to Hell, you Satan!" With that, he lunged for Sailor Mercury and applied a chokehold on her.

Data 6: Enter the Solar Warrior

eyasu was watching the latest reports on both the JAL hijacking and the Neo-Zero attack. He looked outside toward the Nick that was in the backyard.

"Somehow, my old friend," he began to say to himself, "we might have to fly one more mission together."

The NHK anchorperson was continuing his report:

"In reaction to these latest developments, Tokyo-to Governor Nagai Kenji had this to say:"

"This unprovoked attack on our own citizens by this terrorist organization is highly outrageous and receives my strongest condemnation," Gov. Nagai began to say; "I an calling on the government to investigate this matter and to check into SDF security procedures as soon as this crisis is over."

The anchorperson added after that:

"The latest NHK/Yorimuri Shimbun poll now indicates that Gov. Nagai now enjoys a comfortable 32 percent margin over his nearest Liberal Democratic and Socialist opponents." He then paused as he received some word over his earphone. "We had just received a message from the person claiming to be responsible for this attack. We are now playing this audiotape as per the person's request."

The tape began playing:

"This is Amazana Yoriko of the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association. We have the Neo-Zero prototype and we are not afraid to use it. We demand that the civilian government immediately surrender to us, or else another ward of Tokyo will be bombed by the Neo-Zero prototype every three hours. Furthermore, all SDF and American military bases will also be attacked. I urge the civilian government to do the right thing and surrender. That is all."

"NHK will continue to update you on this situation," added the anchorperson.

Ieyasu turned off his TV. Now it was only a matter of time. He went to the family shrine and knelt before it. He grabbed a samurai sword that had been in his family for over ten generations and offered it up to the shrine. "Spirits of my ancestors, hear me! I will not return this sword to its place until I either have vanquished those who threaten our nation or until it is presented as an offering to my departed soul. I nay not survive this attack, but I know that I will go to a far better place than this." With that, he also grabbed the ceremonial Kamikaze headband which he wore during his service in World War II and wrapped it around his forehead. His wife, Natsume, saw what was going on, and approached him.

"What is the meaning of this?," she asked.

"Our nation is in peril once again, and I must answer the call to duty," was all he said as he went to the backyard. Natsume stood there in shock. "The gods protect him!," was all she said.

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It was not long before the next attack did occur--on Shinjuku.

The Sailor Senshi were on patrol in the area. Sailor Moon, Luna, Artemis and Tuxedo Mask were in front, the rest behind.

"Keep an eye out for the jet," Tuxedo Mask said. "We don't know when another attack could occur."

Daria was right behind Sailor Moon. All she could think of right now was that Ami was in danger on board the JAL plane; Rei had suffered the loss of her grandfather; and her own family was probably at risk at home. This wasn't what she had in mind when she decided to go to Tokyo.

"Pay attention, Daria!," Sailor Jupiter said as she elbowed Daria in the back.

"I'm sorry, Mako, but I was distracted," replied Daria.

Towering above Daria were the skyscrapers of Shinjuku, the Japanese equivalent of Wall Street. Daria could see such buildings as the Mitsubishi Building, the Tokyo Stock Exchange, the Mitsui Building and the Matsushita Building. Somehow the image lent itself of a forest of concrete and steel trees; as in any forest, there were unseen dangers lurking.

Suddenly, it streaked out of nowhere. It was the Neo-Zero prototype! It was at its top speed of Mach 2.5.

"Heads up!," Sailor Moon yelled. With that, she grabbed her old Moon Scepter with the Silver Imperium Crystal in it and pointed it at the prototype.

"On my mark, attack!," she yelled.

Yoriko, in the cockpit, just snickered to herself. She had taken a portable CD player with her, and curiously enough, she had Soundgarden's Down on the Upside album in it. She turned it on and began playing "Ty Cobb".

"Let's rock!," she growled.

The growly voice of Chris Cornell slammed into Yoriko like a ton of bricks:

"I am sittin' in a magic hat

With smoke and mirrors

And tire rubber fires

Watch me disappear!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

What made it slow you down

Sucking on a ball and chain

Another motherfucker goes down the drain!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Hardheaded, fuck you all!

Just add it on to the hot rod death toll!

Hardheaded, fuck you all!

Just add it on to the hot rod death toll!"

Somehow every time she heard this song, Yoriko had this mental image of Ty Cobb chasing people with a big baseball bat and beating their brains out with it. She squeezed her fingers over the trigger for the Deathgrip cannon and began to fire.

"GO TO HELL, BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!", she roared.

The bullets tore through the air like hot needles through butter. Panic had seized the people inside the office buildings, for now they were emptying and people were running in terror, straight for the Sailor Senshi.

"Citizens, please calm down!," Sailor Moon implored, but to no avail. The Sailor Senshi saw themselves jostled by the fleeing populace. It was all in vain.

Yoriko used the HUD to aim one of the Neo-Sidewinders at the Matsushita Building. She fired one of them, and the building was blown to pieces!

The force of the explosion knocked Sailor Moon to the ground. Daria helped her up.

"This is sheer madness!," Sailor Moon yelled.

"Right now, we've got to try and stop the attack," Daria yelled back.

Yoriko was flying for another pass, with the Deathgrip cannon roaring again. Several people were cut down like grass from the deadly fusillade of bullets.

Sailor Moon now knew it was now or never. She pointed her scepter at the jet fighter.

"MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

The powerful beam issued from her scepter, but was easily deflected by the Neo-Zero's radar-absorbing skin.

It was now Sailor Mars' turn. She was going to use her new "Mars Fireball Attack" to bring down the plane.

"This is for you, Grandpa!," she screamed, then said "SUPER MARS FIREBALL, FLAME UP!!!!!!!!!!" Two fireballs issued from her hands, and struck squarely on the cockpit. But the plane didn't even suffer a scratch.

What no one noticed in all the confusion was that Tetsuo was in the area, and had seen all that had happened. Now he was in a side street, raising his hands in supplication to the Sun.

"Amaterasu-Omikami, give thee they mortal servant the power of the Solar Warrior!," he yelled.

The flames of power engulfed him again, and the Solar Warrior emerged.

Daria thought she could stop the plane with her own powers, or at least give it a try.

"SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

A stream of ice gushed forth, and even managed to coat the plane, but the engines were just too warm for it to last. The ice rapidly melted.

"Dammit!," Daria snarled.

Yoriko fired another Neo-Sidewinder, this time taking out the Tokyo Stock Exchange.

"God, how I love the smell of burning concrete and steel in the morning!," she roared in pride.

Somehow, to Daria, this whole scene was beginning to look like something out of Apocalypse Now. If only either The Doors' "The End" or Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" was playing in the background, it would be eerily complete.

But now the Solar Warrior appeared out of nowhere, and stood up on some debris.

"Miscreant!," he yelled; "Cease this useless attack! I am the Solar Warrior, servant to Amaterasu-Omakami, Goddess of the Sun and Protector of the Japanese! In the name of the Sun, you will be judged!"

Sailor Moon couldn't realize what was happening first. To be fair, no one did.

Yoriko saw the Solar Warrior and sneered.

"SEE YOU IN HELL, BASTARD!!!!!!!!!", she roared as she fired the Deathgrip cannon again. The bullets, however, bounced off the Solar Warrior's armor. The Solar Warrior then pointed his gauntlets at the craft.

"SOLAR FLARE DISCHARGE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!," he screamed.

The fiery energy discharged and hit the jet fighter squarely in the port engine. Yoriko was seen reeling.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!," she screamed. She had difficulty stabilizing her flight, but managed to succeed. She began to limp back to the secret base in the Kuriles.

Sailor Moon and the others stood there in shock for a few minutes. They couldn't believe what they just seen. The Solar Warrior turned to them and said, "She won't be bothering anyone for a while."

"Who are you?," Sailor Moon recovered enough to ask.

"I am the Solar Warrior," he began to reply, "servant to Amaterasu-Omakami, Goddess of the Sun and Protector of Japan. I do know about you, Sailor Moon, or shall I call you Tsukino Usagi, or even yet Princess Serenity?"

"How--how do you know?," Sailor Moon wanted to know.

The Solar Warrior continued, "I am the last surviving member of the old Solar Realm that existed tens of thousands of years ago in what was known as the Golden Epoch. My race was old when yours was not even established yet. I assure you that I am on your side in this battle."

Luna, ever the doubting Thomas, said, "Prove it."

The Solar Warrior produced an old relic: a Moon Kingdom Medallion of Valor, the highest award that was ever given by that old dominion.

"This was once given to my by Queen Serenity for services rendered in stopping a Mecha-Dominion attack against her realm. This was long before you were born, Sailor Moon."

Sailor Moon and Luna both saw it. "No doubt it is the real thing," Luna finally said. "Very well, we will accept you as an ally for now."

"I'd better be going," the Solar Warrior said, then departed.

Daria seemed to be strongly drawn to the Solar Warrior, but didn't know why. Was it that he alone was fighting for his nation where everyone else was running, or that he seemed to be such a caring person as to risk all in saving complete strangers? This person wasn't like the students back home in Lawndale, the typical dumb jocks and airheads who put down brainy people like her.

"Daria, snap out of it!," Sailor Pluto said. "You're drifting again."

"Sorry," replied Daria.

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Yoriko barely made it back to the secret base in the Kuriles. she jumped out of the cockpit and cursed her luck.

"Get this prototype fixed up immediately!," she shrieked.

Dr. Vander Helffen had just arrived, and he was not happy.

"What is the matter, Dr. Vander Helffen?," she asked.

"It's the Hi no Tori immortality pills," he started. "I'm almost out of them."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!," Yoriko yelled.

"I've been having difficulties getting the ingredients to make more," he said, "and I don't know when they'll be available. I have to make more, because if we miss even one dose, serious side effects from withdrawal will occur. Please be patient with me, and I will make more."

Dr. Vander Helffen was buying some time, but even he knew that he had to make more soon, for the pills had an addicting effect on whoever took them. Dr. Vander Helffen himself took another pill of his creation to counteract the addictive cravings, but he didn't give it to Yoriko; as long as she was addicted, she would remain loyal to him.

Yoriko, mad as ever, shrieked and stormed out of the landing area, punching out two ninja soldiers standing guard duty.

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She didn't know how long it was that Akbar had her in a chokehold, but Ami somehow knew that she was on the verge of blacking out. Akbar was yelling some nonsense or something, but she was in such a oxygen-deprived stupor that it didn't make any sense.

Suddenly, someone got out of his seat and took a tray, banging it against Akbar's head. Akbar let go of Ami, took a knife from his belt, and threw it squarely into the heart of his attacker. He fell dead, but it bought Ami some time. She got up and charged right at Akbar.

They fell to the floor and rolled around, exchanging punches. Akbar then got the upper hand, held Ami down and began to sucker punch her.

"YOU WILL DIE, YOU INFIDEL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!," he yelled.

Ami summoned up enough courage and kneed Akbar in the crotch. Akbar was sent howling.

Now they stood glaring at each other. On one side was Mizuno Ami, the second of the Sailor Senshi to be discovered and veteran of numerous battles against evil; at the opposite end was Akbar el-Salaam, the terrorist who had murdered countless Israelis and swore to destroying the modern Jewish state. Ami tried to think back to whether she was in so much danger. Never, she realized. Even the first battle against the Dark Kingdom was easy. But this was different: This was a mere mortal human, with only the hatred in his heart fueling his rage.

"Give it up, Akbar! You can't win, and you know it!"

"NEVER!!!!!!!!!!," yelled Akbar; "I WILL SACRIFICE THIS WHOLE SHIP IN THE NAME OF ALLAH!!!!!!!!!!"

Ami took a look out a window. The West Coast of the United States was now visible, and in due time they'd be over it. What was not known, however, was that in a couple of hours time they'd be over Lawndale.

"God, please don't let me die!," screamed the flight attendant.

"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!," roared Akbar.

Ami knew that if she was going to stop Akbar, now was the time. Ami threw herself right against Akbar, and the both fell against the emergency hatch.

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It was about an hour before kickoff, and already a huge crowd had filled the stands at the football field. Jake, Helen and Quinn had grabbed good seats.

"If only Daria was here right now," Jake said. "This is always her favorite time of the year."

Quinn was wearing a jacket so she wouldn't be too cold. But now the temperature was a bit warm, so she took it off.

"Quinn, I hope the Fashion Club does well selling its goodies!," Helen said.

"We will, Mom," Quinn replied.

Jane then showed up.

"Jane," Quinn said, "You never show up for the big game! Why now?"

"Because," Jane replied, "someone's got to watch over you in case Beavis and Butt-Head try anything funny on you!"

Just as she said that, the familiar hideous laughter of Beavis and Butt-Head could be heard.

"Uh, where's Diarrhea?," Butt-Head asked.

"I told you, you two dolts, she's in Japan!," Quinn replied.

Beavis, who had eaten seven candy bars on the way over, went spastic and began to do his Cornhulio schtick; he pulled his shirt over his head, raised his arms, shook his fists and then screamed:

"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREAT CORNHULIO!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GIVE ME TEE PEE FOR MY BUNG HOLE!!!!!!!!!!"

Jane seized the both of them and gave them a quick kick to their testicles.

"Do that again, and I'll kick both your asses!," Jane roared. "Leave Quinn alone!"

"This sucks! She got us in the nads," Beavis said as they both slunk away.

"What assholes they are!," Jane said.

"Jane," Quinn said in relief, "I didn't think I was ever going to say this, but thanks for saving my bacon there."

"No problem," Jane replied. "I'll bill you later."

"You wouldn't!," Quinn said.

"Then again," added Jane rather quickly, "I'll let this be a freebie this time."

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The Lawndale Militia was poised to strike at any time. Poindexter, however, was getting antsy.

"When are we going to strike?," he asked.

"Soon," was all that Anthony Corlew said. "Patience is a virtue that a good soldier must have. We will strike when it is to our advantage."

Anthony knew that soon the hammer would fall. But what he didn't know was that his plans would soon be turned on its head.

Data 7: Black Saturday at Lawndale

ack at the JAL plane, the fight between Ami and Akbar was now at a fever pitch. Akbar gave a kidney punch to Ami, sending her reeling. Ami staggered a bit from the blow, but wasn't down for the count yet.

"I WILL KILL YOU IN THE NAME OF ALLAH!!!!!!!!!," Akbar screamed. With that, he opened the emergency hatch, and air gushed into the cabin. Everything that wasn't nailed down was blowing around the cabin. Akbar seized Ami and tried to toss her out of the open door. Ami, however, hung on with all the strength she could muster within herself. Ami took a good look at the device on Akbar: the clock said it would go off in ten minutes. Ami realized that she didn't have too much time left.

"I WILL SEE YOU BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!," Akbar roared. He banged on Ami's left hand, causing her to momentarily lose her grip. She regained it as the wind was howling in her face.

Suddenly, Ami kneed Akbar in the testicles, sending him howling. Ami clambered back on board; what she had to do had to be done quickly.

"SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

With that, Akbar was frozen solid. Ami pushed him from behind and sent him then and there through the open emergency exit and into the air!

Somehow, Ami thought she heard a muffled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" as he fell, down, down, down, tens of thousands of feet. The frozen body then landed in the ocean, and plunged, deep, deep, deep into the water. A shark saw Akbar and ate him whole. The shark then swam away. By then, the nuclear device went off, with the shark at ground zero and only killing whatever lives deep down in the furthest reaches of the ocean. Lawndale had been spared of one horror, but another was to come soon.

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The game was about to get underway at Lawndale. The PA system crackled to life:

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Lawndale High School! This afternoon your Lawndale Lions will take on the Highland Fighting Trojans!"

With that, the announcer went into the usual descriptions of the starting lineups. After announcing that for Highland, Brittany and the other cheerleaders took to the field as the opening lineup for Lawndale was announced. As soon as it was time to announce the starting quarterback, the announcer took on the usual tone of fake enthusiasm appropriate for such occasions:

"And, last but not least, here is your starting quarterback, the one, the only, KEVIN THOMPSON!!!!!!!!!!"

Kevin got onto the field, and Brittany gave him a big hug and a kiss. The crowd was going crazy.

"GO GET 'EM, KEVIN!!!!!!!!!!," Brittany said.

"I will, Cupcake!," Kevin replied.

The announcer continued: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, would you please rise and direct your attention to the fifty yard line as the band Mystik Spiral will play our National Anthem."

Trent and Jesse--along with bassist Nicholas Campbell and drummer Max Tyler--were all set in mid-field. Jesse began to strum the guitar, and launched into a Jimi Hendrix-style solo. Trent got up to the microphone and began to sing:

"Oh, yeah, oh, oh say, oh say, can you see, man

By the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed

At the twilight's last gleaming."

Trent then gave a jagged guitar lick, with Jesse and Nicholas keeping in tempo; Trent continued:

"Yeah, whose broad stripes and bright stars

Through the perilous fight (another screeching guitar lick from Jesse)

O'er the ramparts we watched/Were so gallantly streaming."

The guitars went into overdrive, with Max pounding the drums furiously.

"And the rocket's red glare," shrieked Trent

Trent suddenly gave a note-for-note rendition of Hendrix's guitar burst at that point of the song, except this went on for five minutes.

"The bombs bursting in air," continued Trent.

Another five-minute guitar attack.

After that, Trent sang:

"Gave proof through the night

That our flag was still there."

Suddenly, Jesse began to strum the opening bars of "Chopin's Funeral March."

Trent went into his big finish: "Oh, oh, oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave."

Another long screeching note from Jesse.

"O'er the land of the free. . .," Trent sand, and held the last note for a few seconds.

Trent gave a long, screeching note on his guitar.

Trent finished with, "And the home of the brave."

All of a sudden, Trent and Jesse both crashed into a loud guitar crescendo: "DUH, DUH, DUH, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH," while at the same time Trent sang, "America! America! America! Land of the free, baby!" After that, Max ended the song by banging twice a gong that had "A J. Arthur Rank Enterprise" written on it. After that, Trent flashed a peace sign, and said "Peace, dudes!"

At first, everyone just stood there in stone cold silence. Jane then began to clap. Slowly, everyone else began to clap as well. Trent took a bow, as did the other members of Mystik Spiral. They left the field, with the applause still ringing through the stadium. Ms. Li smiled to herself and thought that this was $1000 well spent.

There was a pause as the musical equipment was being cleared off the field. Soon, both teams took to the field. The captains for each team were huddled around the referee for the coin toss.

"Mr. Mackenzie," the referee said, "As captain for the home team, you will call the toss. This coin I have is a real, honest-to-goodness replica of the infamous Batman villain Two-Face's lucky two-faced coin; a double-obverse 1922 Peace Dollar. You will either call 'Good side up!' or 'Scarred side up!' Do you understand?"

"Why is that coin being used?," was all that Mack said.

"Don't sweat it son," the referee said, "this coin was donated by one of the sponsors of the Lawndale football team, Lawndale Comics and Anime on Sugarbush Avenue in the middle of downtown Lawndale." Since he was wired to a mike, everyone could hear him. "Don't forget everyone, go there now for the big Sailor Moon fan subbed video sale! All episodes ten percent off! And we'll give you an extra thirty percent off on the infamous episode where Sailor Jupiter brags about the size of her breasts if you can correctly guess her bra size!"

"Ms. Li set you up to this as one of her money making schemes, didn't she?," Mack asked.

"It only gets worse, son," the referee continued. "The stadium is now being called Surge Cola Stadium!"

Mack groaned. "All right, already!," he said resignedly; "I'll call 'Good side up.'"

The referee flipped the coin, and it landed good side up.

"Good side up," the referee said; "Your team wins the toss. Do you wish to kick or receive?

"We'll receive," replied Mack.

"OK," said the referee; "good luck, gentlemen."

Mack turned to Kevin and said, "Ms. Li has gone too far in selling out our school!"

Highland kicked off the ball to open the game. Mack grabbed the ball, but only got as far as the twelve yard line before he was tackled.

Kevin, Mack and the others now huddled around for the first play.

"Mack," Kevin said, "you fake out toward the right and go for the long pass!"

"That's probably where they would expect us to try!," responded Mack.

"Hey, it'll work, trust me!," reassured Kevin.

They broke huddle and then Kevin called the play. Mack faked right and then zoomed to the left. Kevin tried to make the pass, but then two hulking Highland tackles lunged right for him, forcing Kevin to retreat past his own goal line. In desperation he tired to make the pass, but then he was tackled for the safety.

"And Highland grabs an early 2-0 lead by making a safety!," said the PA announcer.

Brittany looked on and got disappointed. But then she got the cheerleaders going on one of their best cheers:

"C'mon, Lawndale, roar, roar, roar! C'mon, Lawndale, roar, roar, roar!"

Meanwhile, Quinn and the other members of the Fashion Club were selling their goodies. Unfortunately, when they passed by Beavis and Butt-Head, those two acted up again.

"Uh, do you want to score with Beavis and me?," Butt-Head asked Sandi.

"Like, get away from me!," shrieked Sandi.

"Hey, here comes Diarrhea's sister! Let's hit up on her again!," Beavis said.

Quinn saw those two coming.

"If you even think of harassing me," she said, "I'll have Jane beat up the both of you into a bloody pulp!"

"Did you hear that, Beavis," Butt-Head said, "she wants to make up popes!"

"Will I get to wear that funny pointed hat and all that?," asked Beavis.

"I said, 'PULP,' not 'POPE!!!!!!!!!!!,'", shrieked Quinn.

"Hey, Butt-Head," Beavis said, "Do you ever noticed the similarities between Quinn and that chick Gabrielle from 'Xena: Warrior Princess'?"

"Yeah," replied Butt-Head, "they're both dirty blondes, they both have bare midriffs and they both have big hooters!"

They began their hideous laughter.

"Score with us, Quinn!," Beavis said.

"Yeah, score with us!," added Butt-Head.

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!!!!," screamed Quinn.

Jane was there at a moment's notice. She got the both of them and kicked their asses real good.

"Next time, you'll be in the hospital!," Jane warned.

Beavis and Butt-Head were bruised up.

"Hey, Butt-Head, does it hurt?," Beavis wanted to know.

"Only when I laugh, Beavis," replied Butt-Head; he began to laugh, then began to howl, "OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!"

While all that was going on, Highland scored a touchdown; with the two-point conversion, the score was now 10-0 in their favor.

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Meanwhile, the JAL plane was now pretty close to Lawndale. Ami has just closed the emergency door and made her way to the cockpit. She was hoping to contact the nearest airport, but then she noticed that after Akbar told the press about his hijacking the plane, he had also shot out the radio. This was only going to make the task of getting the plane down safely that much more difficult. But she noticed an even bigger concern: the plane was critically low on fuel.

Ami raced out of the cockpit and got to the flight attendant, who was now topless since the force of the air rushing in from the emergency door ripped off what was left of her bra.

"Miss, you've got to tell the passengers to prepare for an emergency landing!," Ami said.

"We're going to crash, aren't we?," the flight attendant asked.

"Perhaps we will," said Ami, "but right now we don't have many options left. Our fuel is almost exhausted."

On that note, the flight attendant instructed everyone to prepare for a emergency crash landing. Ami then grabbed a piece of carry-on luggage she had and gave the flight attendant a blouse of hers to wear ; luckily, they had the same blouse size, though they didn't have the same bra size.

Everyone on board thought that this was going to be the end.

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As was custom in Japan, the funeral was conducted by Buddhist rites; almost all of them were, since there are few Christians in the nation, and Shinto took a rather dim view of the afterlife.

The Buddhist monk officiating the ceremonies was a friend of Rei's grandfather; at one time he was himself a Shinto priest.

"We mourn for the death of this great man," began the monk; "but we must remember that now he goes to be with Buddha in Nirvana, to a far greater place than this troublesome world. His death was utterly meaningless, but he will now find the ultimate meaning to life, the Universe, and everything. Farewell, my brother in the faith."

He then scattered flower petals into the grave, followed by all those in attendance. All of the Sailor Senshi and Daria were present. Except for Rei, they were wearing the usual Western black mourning clothes; Rei was wearing her miko's outfit. She laid into the grave besides petals one of her "demon banishment scrolls". Daria didn't have a simple black dress to wear and had to buy one from a store in the Ginza; it was one of those drop-dead minidresses and she was also suckered into buying a pair of those dark brown stockings that seem to go well with such a dress and a pair of high heels. Already they were murder on her feet. "Whoever invented high heel shoes must have been a guy;" she began to say; "he should have been strung up the nearest tree."

Rei, after she left the grave, collapsed into tear; Usagi and Mamoru both hugged her. Daria stood by and watched.

"I've lost everything that gave meaning to my life: my grandfather, the shrine, ,my peace of mind!"

"You still have Yuuichirou and your crows," Usagi replied, "and you still have us."

"You can stay with me until they rebuild the shrine," Mamoru offered.

Rei cried bitterly. Suddenly, she left their embrace, grabbed a samurai sword that was hidden beneath her hakama and looked like she was going to commit seppuku; women usually did that by stabbing the sword through the throat, and not by slitting the belly like men did.

"REI, NO!!!!!!!!!!", everyone shouted.

"No, I will not commit seppuku. However, I call upon Amaterasu-Omikami herself to witness my vows. I will not rest until the person responsible for killing my grandfather is finally brought to justice. Either this blade will go through the heinous person's heart, or it will go through my own throat. I will avenge your death, Grandpa, and I know you will not rest until I have done so! I have sworn!"

Everyone left the cemetery chilled to the bones. Somehow, Daria had this mental image in her head of a hand emerging from a pool of blood, setting out letters that spelled out the word "CHILLER" and then sinking back into the pool of blood while an eerie voice said "CHILLER!!!!!!!!!!" Somehow this seemed sickeningly appropriate.

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Everyone had gone to Mamoru's apartment for the post-funeral reception. Rei didn't have any other living relatives other than her estranged father, who she hadn't spoken to in years. She left him because she held him responsible for the death of her mother; they were driving back from a party and he was drunk; they crashed into a tree, killing her instantly. It was after that incident that Rei left him and went to Sendai Hill Shrine, ran by her now late maternal grandfather. There were some old friends of his and some students that Rei recognized from her junior high school days. Then there were everyone else's friends and family. Kenji, Usagi's father, went up to Rei.

"I am so sorry about what happened," Kenji said.

"Grandpa was such a beloved man," answered Rei. "He will be sorely missed."

Kenji then recognized Daria.

"There you are, Daria, he said; "I didn't notice you without the combat fatigues you usually wear. I have to admit with that dress on, you almost look human."

"Frankly, formal wear like this isn't my style," Daria answered him; "I once wore this bare-shouldered dress to a wedding since I was going to be the bridesmaid, and I didn't like it."

Kenji said, "Actually, I thought you were more the person who likes to wear slacks or combat pants, but you always wear that same drab olive jacket, orange shirt, black knee-length skirt and combat boots."; Kenji had seen Daria a couple of times since she came over, mainly when she stopped by Usagi's house for dinner a couple of times.

"OK, OK, I'll let you in on a little secret," confessed Daria; "I've actually got better‑looking legs that my sister, Quinn, but don't tell her about it because then she'll probably steal every skirt I own."

"What about your sister, anyway?," Kenji wanted to know.

"She's the vice-president of my hometown high school's Fashion Club," began Daria. "She kind of looks like Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess because she likes to wear shirts that leave her midriff bare and also has almost the same hair color and hairstyle. She's a complete airhead." With that, Daria broke into a rare smile. Somehow, with Usagi's parents, she felt at ease with them, because at least they knew what they were doing. Back home, her father was so wishy-washy and her mother was so domineering.

Ikuko joined her husband.

"There you are, dear," she said. "You should try this clam dip; I hear that Mamoru made this himself and it's pretty good."

"Later, dear," Kenji said.

Daria took a good look at herself in a nearby mirror. She had to admit that she didn't ever look as beautiful as she did now. What she really wanted to do was to fantasize how'd she look like in one of those armored bikinis like some of those heroines she had been seeing in anime since she came over. The day after she arrived here, Ami and she watched "Leda: The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko" on video, and Daria thought that Yohko's outfit was rather cool, if a bit sexist. That was the type of outfit she wished she wore, and not that frumpy seirafuku she had now as Sailor Mercury. Ami said that "Leda" was one of her favorite anime of all time, and admitted that she was an "otaku", or fan of anime herself. She thought back to what they were doing after they saw the film. They were in their bedclothes, and were gossiping in Ami's room.

"I really like Yohko, she's a woman who's true to herself despite the fact that she's an innocent woman trapped in a situation not of her own making," Ami said.

"Well," Daria replied, "I thought it was a bit derivative of "Red Sonja" and "Xena", but otherwise it was OK. I just wish she didn't dote on that guy so much. She's got to realize that she can stand up on her own two feet without any guy's help."

"Are you a feminist?," asked Ami.

"Yes;" replied Daria; "I got it from my mother, as well as my science teacher, Ms. Barch. That last person is a real hoot. I swear every time in class, she says that 'All men are scum!'"

Ami got a good laugh over that.

"What's so funny?," Daria wanted to know.

"It's just that your science teacher seems to write off men so easily," replied Ami. "In Japan there's really no such problems like that."

"Really, then why are women still treated the way they are?," demanded Daria.

Ami responded, "Oh, I guess you keep hearing the reports about how men are so aloof and treat women like property. But did you know how much power real Japanese housewives have?"

"How much?," asked Daria.

"Enough to make any grown man cry in his sake!," giggled Ami.

Somehow, after the description that Ami gave about how wives made men stick to a little stipend from their salaries and controlled many aspects of their children's education, Daria broke into the biggest smile she ever had. But then she asked if that was the case, them why become a doctor.

"My mother's a doctor," began Ami, "and her father before that. She told me how Grandpa was a doctor tending to the wounded during the war. It was pretty brutal business, especially toward the end. After the war, he set up a private practice, and encouraged my mother to take up the practice, since she was an only child and someone had to carry on the business. At first she was hesitant, but then she met one person who changed her life."

"Who?," Daria wanted to know.

Ami's answer was surprising:

"Dr. Tezuka Osamu. I guess you know him from his works Tetsuwan Atom and Jungle Taitei".

"You mean to tell me that the man who created Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion was a doctor?"

"Yes," Ami continued, "and he told my mother that there was no nobler profession than that of helping your fellow man in his time of need. My mother then decided that being a doctor was a worthwhile goal."

"I'm impressed, "said a very impressed Daria; she was not one who was easily impressed.

"My father, who's an artist, also thinks I should pursue an artistic career on the side," continued Ami.

"If you ever visit Lawndale," Daria said, "you should check out my friend Jane Lane; she's an aspiring artist. Hell, her whole family is. Except her brother, Trent; he's a rock musician."

"Daria," Ami asked, "you looked a bit embarrassed when you mentioned him. Are you in love with him?"

"I'll admit that I am," confessed Daria. "It's kind of like the situation with Usagi and Mamoru. I just can't seem to get the words out, like he knows that I'm there, but he just doesn't seem to know."

"Does he call you 'Dumpling-Head' at times?," inquired Ami.

"No, nothing insulting like that," said Daria. "Hell, he doesn't have an insulting bone in his body. He's just a bit spacey, that's the major flaw in his character."

Ami got a good laugh over that.

"You know, Daria, you're different," replied Ami; "You're really honest about yourself and about other people."

"Well, I like to tell it like it is," said Daria.

Ami then added, "Daria, one of these days I will visit Lawndale and see all your friends and family."

"I guarantee you won't have a dull moment there," assured Daria.

Daria's train of thought was interrupted when someone turned on the TV. The NHK announcer was delivering the nightly news, and there was one interesting matter:

"Tokyo-to Governor Nagai Kenji now has a commanding lead over his opponents in the latest NHK/Yorimuri Shimbun poll. Nagai, the Komeito candidate for the empty seat for Tokyo-to in the House of Representatives, now has a fifty-five percent approval rating as opposed to his Liberal Democratic, Socialist, Social Democratic and Communist opponents. Nagai's portraying himself as a "law and order" candidate as well as a reformer seems to have struck a chord with voters who are gravely concerned over the recent crises that have seem to hit Japan like a typhoon. As for the Neo-Zero crisis, NHK will continue to update that situation as conditions warrant."

The sun was setting now over Tokyo. Daria had a strange feeling that she wanted to be anywhere else right now than here. She excused herself from the reception and went back to Ami's house. There she decided to go to bed. For some strange reason she decided to wear Ami's football jersey nightshirt. As she fell asleep, a strange dream began to unfold. . .

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The repairs to the Neo-Zero were taking longer than expected. Yoriko was clearly showing her impatience with the whole affair.

"I want that engine repaired in the next fifteen minutes or heads will roll!," Yoriko shrieked.

Dr. Vander Helffen sensed Yoriko's frustrations and went to her.

"All will be ready in good time," he said.

"Dr. Vander Helffen," Yoriko yelled, "I will not rest until that traitor Ryu and the Solar Warrior are both dead!"

"Yoriko, you are beginning to lose sight of the goal," warned Dr. Vander Helffen. "We are to take over the nation first; later we will deal with those who have opposed us."

"That may be your way, but it is not mine!," said Yoriko. "And you better have more of the Hi no Tori pills for me soon or I will take matters into my own hands!" With that, she stormed out again.

Dr. Vander Helffen realized that soon he might have to take matters into his own hands as well.

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Daria had the sensation that the alarm had went off, but she had just fallen asleep. She looked at the alarm and realized that she was running late for school.

"AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I'm late for school! First day! I'm late!," she shrieked.

Then, it seemed that she took off her nightshirt and ran for the closet--wearing nothing but her panties--to grab a bra. But when she got to the closet, she fell through it and was falling deep, deep, into a hole. When she landed, it looked like she was in the middle of a bombed-out area.

"Great," said Daria in her usual deadpan manner; "here I am virtually naked, everyone can see how small-breasted I am, and I'm in the middle of a war zone. Right now, I bet some Huns are going to swoop out of nowhere and grab me."

Just as she said, some Huns swooped out of nowhere and grabbed her. but just then, someone was standing in their path.

"Ne'er-do-well'ers!," the man said, "I am the Solar Warrior, servant to Amaterasu-Omakami, Goddess of the Sun! In the name of the Sun, you will be judged!"

Then he spread out his hands and the power began to glow in the discs in each hand.

"SOLAR FLARE DISCHARGE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!," the Solar Warrior yelled.

The solar flares streamed from his hands and burned the Huns to a crisp; Daria, however, was not injured. The Solar Warrior approached her.

"This is kind of a bad time to see me, since I'm naked," Daria said.

But the Solar Warrior, it seemed, summoned some solar energy and dressed her up in a seirafuku.

"Do not be afraid of me, Daria," he said; "I will protect you from all harm." He seemed to draw closer. They were on the verge of kissing each other. They kissed, but then Daria was wrenched awake by someone shaking her shoulder.

"Daria, get up! We have to go to SDF HQ on the double!," said a voice.

It was Minako, and she looked like she went through Hell herself. She wasn't even in her Sailor Venus seirafuku but instead was wearing a green T-shirt and blue jeans. Her eyes had black bags under them for lack of sleep, and her hair was a bit disheveled.

"Minako, you interrupted me in the middle of the best dream I've ever had for this?," said Daria rather groggily

"Sorry, but this is urgent!," replied Minako.

"Now I know how Samuel Taylor Colleridge must have felt when that insurance salesman interrupted him right in the middle of writing 'Kubla Kahn'," sneered Daria. She flung on a black T-shirt and blue jeans, the same outfit she wore while on her ill-fated trip to Alternapalooza. Somehow the irony wasn't lost on her. It was a weird dream. She never had such intense feelings for a guy before in her life. But her heart belonged to Trent, and she could never tell the Solar Warrior how much she cared for him. Daria was soon on her way to SDF HQ.

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The FAA facility near Lawndale International Airport was a pretty critical facility; its radar could cover a six state area. So there was concern when an aircraft appeared out of nowhere on the screen. One of the air traffic controllers immediately spotted that it was the hijacked JAL flight.

"Oh, my god! The hijacker is bringing the JAL plane here!," he spewed out as soon as he realized where it was going.

Everyone was now in a state of panic. The plane was nearing Lawndale. Since word that the attempt to stop the plane failed since the task force based in Japan was not dispatched due to the Neo-Zero hijacking, everyone was shuddering to think where the plane would eventually wind up in. It was heading for Lawndale. Phone calls were made to the White House, the Pentagon and to the nearest USAF base. Hell had come to Lawndale, and it was on board a Boeing 747.

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Right now, at 25,000 feet, all that Ami could think about was that fuel was now almost exhausted. The needle crept up to "E".

The flight attendant came into the cockpit.

"Everyone is ready for an emergency landing," she said.

Ami then said, "You've got to tell me how I can keep this plane level enough to make a belly landing."

"You'll have to grab the stick and keep it level," instructed the flight attendant; " But first you'll have to disengage the auto pilot."

The flight attendant went over to the auto pilot and deactivated it. Now the needle was right on "E". The engines were still running, but within a few seconds, they began to grind to a halt. Ami could see Lawndale right in front of her, and saw that the plane was going to head right for a football stadium. The plane began to fall down, nose first, and Ami and the others were thrown violently toward the front. Ami grabbed the stick and tried to keep the plane level. Somehow, the plane was fighting her, though.

"If I don't survive this, let the rest of the Sailor Senshi avenge my death!," said Ami to herself.

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Things were not going too good for Lawndale; they were now trailing 24-7. Kevin had just fumbled the ball and was now getting a good chewing out from Mack.

"Kevin, you idiot, you're giving the game to Highland on a silver platter!," shrieked Mack.

Kevin shot back, "Give me a break, Mack! I'm under a lot of pressure!"

"If we don't win this game," warned Mack, "we might as well write off any hopes of winning the conference title, and perhaps even the state playoffs!"

While that was going on, Beavis and Butt-Head made one more attempt to score on Quinn.

"Hey, Quinn, let's blow this game! It sucks! Go back to our place and let's score!", Beavis said.

"If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to do something drastic!," screamed Quinn.

Just then, everyone heard a loud "WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly, the JAL 747 fell out of the sky. It seemed to be stable, but then it was too close to the stadium; it flew by it, and grazed a set of lights. The tower fell down. Everyone ran in panic.

"WHOA!!!!!!!!!! I think there're filming Black Sunday II!", Butt-Head said.

"Wait a minute, dillweed! Black Sunday was about a blimp!", Beavis replied.

"No, assmunch!," shot back Butt-Head. "That was The Hindenburger or something like that!"

"I'll blow up your blimp, asswipe!," warned Beavis.

"Go ahead and try, Beavis!," dared Butt-Head.

They got into a fistfight. Quinn tried to get away but those two saw her go, then broke off their fight and went after her. Quinn ran screaming.

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Ami tried her best to keep the plane level, but hitting the stadium lights didn't help matters. The plane was almost on the ground now. Ami tried to concentrate, but it was no use; the stick was still fighting her.

"Pull up! Pull up!," the flight attendant screamed. "WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

The plane hit the ground like a lead balloon. It bounced and broke into several pieces before finally coming to rest. Ami saw the flight attendant crash through the windshield and into a tree, killing her instantly. Ami conked her head against the stick and began to black out. "Not now, not now. . . . .," she said, then lapsed into unconsciousness.

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Anthony Corlew saw what happened, and took it for a sign.

"ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!", he roared. Now the Lawndale Militia raced forward and the various troops stormed City Hall, the Police Station and the Courthouse. Soon enough, since there was only token resistance, they had taken over all three buildings.

Anthony boldly entered the Mayor's office, sat down in the chair, and propped his feet on his desk.

"Gentlemen, at long last, Lawndale is ours!," he said in triumph.

It was the bleakest hour in Lawndale's history.

Data 8: Ami Joins the Free Lawndalers

hen Ami came to, she could see in the haze that wreckage was strewn everywhere. She was feeling groggy. There were flames everywhere, since there was some flammable material on board, and the smell of burning flesh was everywhere. Ami though her eyes were playing tricks on her when she thought she saw two familiar faces. She began to speak, though she still was a bit groggy-headed:

"Usagi-chan, Mamoru, is that you? And if it is, why are you in that ridiculous cheerleading uniform, Usagi-chan, and why is Mamoru dressed up like a American rules football player?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Brittany said. "My name is Brittany Taylor, head cheerleader at Lawndale High; this is my boyfriend, Kevin Thompson, star quarterback for our team." She was twirling her hair again.

Ami was now getting used to her surroundings. The moans of the injured and dying could be heard everywhere. The wreckage was scattered for about several hundred feet. At least the plane managed to avoid the football field.

Ami now began to ask questions: "Where am I?"

"You're in Lawndale," Kevin responded.

"Are there any casualties?," Ami wanted to know.

"We saw a lot of icky dead bodies around here! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!," Brittany responded.

Ami could see that there was a lot of carnage around. It was sickening. Ami felt like she wanted to throw up. She staggered, not noticing that she had a big gash on her head, the result of the tiara she wore cutting into her forehead when it hit the control stick. The blood was dripping all over her seirafuku. It was like something out of a nightmare, except this was for real. At least Akbar had been thrown out of the plane along with his nuclear device before it went off. That would have made matters infinitely worse. Ami began to count the small blessings right now.

"I only hope that word gets out that I'm OK to my friends back in Japan", she said. She now saw the damage to herself. The blouse of her seirafuku was ripped, and part of her bra beneath that was ripped off, exposing her left breast. Her miniskirt was also tattered, and her boots were scuffed. Ami needed some attention.

"We've got to have a doctor check you out!," Kevin stated.

"OK by me," Ami replied. Ami was so overwhelmed by what she saw that she began to cry. She was going to Germany so she could become a doctor and help end people's suffering, but now she needed some of that attention herself. Somehow, she thought she saw a vision of Amaterasu-Omikami before her. She began to speak some words or encouragement to her:

"My child, be strong. The world is in peril, but you and your friends will prevail. Thus have I sworn!' The vision seemed to dissolve.

"Amaterasu-Omakami!," Ami cried out; "Don't leave me in my time of need!" She stretched her arms out to the vision, which had now completely vanished.

Ami collapsed and began to cry furiously.

Brittany herself was now on the verge of tears. She hugged Kevin.

"Why us? Why our community? Why now?," she sobbed.

"I wish I knew the answers, Brittany," was all that Kevin could say.

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The football field was all in confusion now. Everyone was on the field, tending to whoever they could find alive. Mr. DeMartino went to Ms. Li and spoke to her rather harshly:

"I hope you're goddamn satisfied! You went ahead with the game and we just became the target of an international terrorist! I will report this matter to the State Education Department!"

"If you do that," Ms. Li warned, "I'll see to it that you never work in this state as a teacher ever again! Hell, I'll make sure you can't work in this entire country as a teacher ever again! The only way you'll ever get a job teaching is in some straw hut in Burkina Faso as part of the Peace Corps!"

Mr. DeMartino couldn't hold his anger against her back any longer. His right eye bulged out and he yelled:

"Angela Li, you are nothing but a greedy, egotistical bitch!"

With that, he huffed out of the area.

Timothy O'Neill, the English teacher, was tending to someone who just went to cardiac arrest. He was performing CPR. A doctor checked the person over.

"I'm sorry, but we've lost him," the doctor said.

Mr. O'Neill stood there, the life drained out of him. He began to weep.

Jane and Quinn were tending to someone who had a broken leg. Quinn took some wooden boards that were laying on the side while Jane took her jacket off, ripped it up and used the strips to bind the boards to the leg. Soon enough he was taken to Lawndale Hospital.

In all the commotion no one noticed when a group of Lawndale Militia soldiers approached the football field. Anthony stood in front of the troops.

"Now, people, we've got the town!," he announced. "Now, let's take its people!" With that they stormed into the facility, guns blazing. The charging troops lead to mass panic everywhere.

In the confusion, Jane and Quinn were separated. Jane lost track of where Quinn was. Quinn was being jostled by the crowd. Then, suddenly, an arm jerked her out of the crowd.

"Jane, am I glad to see you!," Quinn began to say, but then she saw who yanked her, and heard the hideous laughter. Quinn screamed as Beavis began to grope her breasts while Butt-Head grabber her legs. Those two picked her up and carried her off.

"I'm gonna go home and spank my monkey!," Beavis said.

"Yeah, then we're going to score!," Butt-Head added.

Ami, Brittany and Kevin saw what was going on from a few feet away.

"Oh, my god! Beavis and Butt-Head just kidnapped Quinn!," Brittany shrieked.

Ami saw what was going on, and tried to summon whatever energy she had left to use her Shabon Spray, but the exertion was too much. She began to black out.

Mr. DeMartino saw what was going on. "Everyone who can, retreat to the school!," he shouted.

Many people did. The whole area was becoming a mob scene. Chaos was now ruling Lawndale.

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Beavis and Butt-Head had arrived at the bus stop with Quinn. Quinn was pleading with her captors:

"Please let me go! I'll do anything you want! My parents are loaded! They'll pay you any ransom you want!"

"Shut up, bitch!," Beavis snapped at her. "We're going to score with you, and you'll just lay back and enjoy it! I'm getting a stiffie just thinking about it! HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!!!!!!!!"

Butt-Head joined in with his "UH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH!!!!!!!!!!"

The bus pulled up to the stop. Quinn screamed for help. Beavis, however, got on board, kicked off the driver, and let Butt-Head and Quinn in. Beavis took over driving the bus, which was empty. Butt-Head undid Quinn's bra and used it as a gag.

"Man, you've got big hooters!," Butt-Head said as he looked underneath Quinn's shirt. Quinn slapped him.

"OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! You bitch! Why'd you do that? I was just complimenting you!"

Beavis drove live a demon all the way back to Highland.

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Lawndale High now had the air of a M*A*S*H unit. The injured were everywhere. Doctors and nurses were taking care of them. At the auditorium, all those who were able were gathered. Ami had her injuries tended to, and now was feeling a bit better. Mr. DeMartino was on stage, and he had a TV set on. The news was grim. The Lawndale Militia now had control of the entire town, and all but forty-five passengers had died in the crash, and the death toll was mounting. Bobbie Baptistia on CNN stated that the militia had seized the mayor, the police chief and the city judge. Things were grim outside as well: The report of the Neo-Zero theft and the subsequent bombing of Tokyo were given just a much coverage. Ami went into shock when she heard that.

"My friends! Who knows if they're all right?," Ami wondered.

Jane was also worried, since Daria was over there.

"Good god!," she said, "I hope Daria is all right!"

Ami turned around and saw Jane.

"Jane Lane, right?," she asked.

Jane was stunned; "Yeah, how did you know?," she asked.

Ami replied, "I'm Mizuno Ami, Daria's friend." Right now was not the time to beat around the bush about her secret identity as Sailor Mercury; besides, they had taken off her clothes when they tended to her injuries and gave her a Lawndale High T-shirt and blue jeans to wear.

"You're the one who asked Daria over to Japan!," Jane continued. "How did you wind up here, and what's happened to Daria?"

"It's a complicated story," Ami began. "And I don't know anything about this Neo-Zero business. I didn't have anything to do with the JAL plane being hijacked, either, in case you were wondering about that."

Jane took a close look at Ami. Somehow she could sense the spiritual affinity that she shared with Daria. Daria and Jane, after all, were the least liked in school, and it seemed that Ami seemed to be in that same category, or at least she had suffered some hardships.

"Ami, you're not telling me the whole story here," Jane shot back. "What's happening here? What's happening to all of us?"

Ami looked deep into Jane's blue eyes. She could sense that Jane really valued Daria even if the rest of the school didn't.

"How long have you known each other?," she asked her.

"Ever since we met in kindergarten," Jane replied; "My family moved here from Highland after second grade, but then Daria moved here a couple of years back. Not only that, she's got a crush on my brother Trent."

Suddenly, Ami could see deep into Jane's soul. She could see Daria and Trent. She could see them about to kiss, but it seemed that suddenly Queen Beryl came out of nowhere and snatched Trent from Daria. "This isn't right!," she said, and began to black out.

"It must be the medicine they gave you," Jane told her; "It's probably playing tricks on your brain."

Ami felt that had to be it. She remembered that it was Endymion who was taken away from Princess Serenity, not Trent from Daria. but somehow the shock of everything was taking its toll on her. She collapsed.

"Ami, Ami, are you OK?," yelled Jane, shaking Ami.

Nothing was OK for her. She seemed to have been transported into the middle of a raging sea. She was now nude. Suddenly, it seemed every enemy the Sailor Senshi ever faced swarmed out of nowhere.

"Now we will have our revenge!," roared Kunzite, and it seemed he had a long dagger that he flung right at Ami. Ami dodged it, only to bump up right against Ann.

"I never got to kiss Mamoru, and it's all your fault!," she yelled.

With that, it seemed Ann drew out a red-hot poker and stuck it right across Ami's abdomen. Ami seemed to be screaming in agony.

Sailor Galaxia came out of nowhere and seemed to rip open the heavens and the earth. Ami seemed to be sucked into a black hole. When she hit bottom, she seemed to be in an area that was completely dark. She was now clad in her Sailor Mercury seirafuku. Suddenly, strong, intense shafts of light appeared, and the rest of the Sailor Senshi stood there, with scowls on their faces. Not only that, but it seemed that Tuxedo Mask and Moonlight Knight were there as well, along with many of her other friends.

"Grandpa is dead now because you wanted to go to Germany!" Rei seemed to scream. Then she brandished a demon banishment scroll and shrieked "AKURYO TAISAN!!!!!!!!!!" in the loudest voice possible as she flung the scroll at Ami.

"I think you had plenty to do with Mamoru breaking up with me five years ago after Chibi-Usa arrived," Usagi said. "For that, you will pay! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!!" Ami seemed to be screaming in agony.

"You're the real 'Dumpling Head' around here! You abandoned us! You betrayed us!," Tuxedo Mask said as he flung a rose dart.

Everyone was yelling over and over again, "COWARD!!!!!!!!!! TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!! SPINELESS COWARD!!!!!!!!!!"

The voices seemed to be going on and on and on and on. . .

Finally, Ami couldn't take it any more, and began screaming, "MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, a bright red flash ripped Ami back to reality. It seemed that Mr. DeMartino slapped her across the face to calm her down.

"Sorry, kid, but I had to do that to calm you down," he began. The TV was turned off now, and he went back to the stage. It seemed that he was going to make a speech.

"I knew that the day would come," he began, with his right eye once again bulging out, "that something like this was going to happen. Mr. Corlew and his associates in the Lawndale Militia had been plotting to overthrow the local government for some time now. But I was not going to stand idly by and let them get away with it! NO!!!!!!!!!!! NOT I, ANTHONY DEMARTINO!!!!!!!!!! I was prepared for this!"

He paused to draw the curtains of the stage, and it seemed that a whole stockpile of weaponry was right behind him. He continued:

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I prepared for this very moment! I managed to get some weapons stockpiled myself so I can raise my own little group and take back this town! From here on end, you are all part of the Lawndale Resistance Movement, or the Free Lawndalers for short. It is a shame that those who wish to subvert everything this nation stands for bully and intimidate the silent majority who stand by our democratic institutions. These so-called right wing militias and taxpayers groups are really wolves in sheep's' clothing. They claim they want to restore 'constitutional government' but in reality want to install a fascist dictatorship that would exterminate the poor, the elderly, minorities and the disabled. Is this what our Founding Fathers wanted when they established our nation? I tell you loud and I tell you clearly: NO! If we just stand by while the Anthony Corlews and the Timothy McVeighs and the Bob Schulzes of this nation try to subvert the principles of equal rights and equal justice, then we have truly lost the battle. These Neo-Nazis must be stopped, for as the old Latin saying goes, 'Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?'--'Who watches the watchmen?'"

Mr. DeMartino paused and went up to Ami.

"Young lady," he told her, "I sense that you seem to have abilities far greater than any of us here. We could use them in our battle. Will you join us in repelling the Lawndale Militia from here?"

Ami was too groggy to say "No."

"All right, I will," she replied.

"Very well, then," Mr. DeMartino replied. "We will move out at once and retake this town from the enemy!" Soon everyone received weapons and began to move out. The battle to retake Lawndale had begun.

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Beavis, Butt-Head and Quinn had arrived back at Highland. The two boys opened the door to their crumbling house and threw Quinn like a sack of potatoes into a closet, which they promptly locked up.

Quinn could hear them through the keyhole:

"Yeah, we've got Diarrhea's sister now, Beavis!," shrieked Butt-Head.

"Yeah, cool!," replied Beavis, then went into his "HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!!!!!!!!"

Butt-Head then said, "I'm going to score with her first!"

"No, dillweed!," said an angry Beavis; "I'm gonna score with her first!"

"No, I am!," roared Butt-Head.

Beavis yelled back, "No, I am!"

"I'll kick you ass, Beavis!," butt-Head warned.

"Go ahead and try, Butt-Head!," dared Beavis.

They began another fistfight. Quinn could hear it going on. Somehow, uncalled, a memory flitted up to the surface of her mind. It was a couple of years ago, when she and Daria were still living here. They were going down the street when Beavis and Butt-Head approached. They began that sickening chant they made when they saw Daria:

"DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!!"

"Uh, Diarrhea, is your sister available?," Butt-Head asked.

"No, she's not, you little perverts!," said Daria sternly. "Leave us alone!"

"But we want to score with her!," Beavis said.

They then made a grab for her, grabbing her by the legs (she was back then wearing that stupid red miniskirt, the same one she tried to seduce Kevin with) and her breasts. Daria then got real mad, and kicked the both of them in the crotch. They were sent howling.

Quinn ran screaming to her sister, crying and saying things like "Thanks for saving me" and all that.

Somehow there were unconfirmed reports that later that day Beavis and Butt-Head were setting off firecrackers and had thrown an M-80 into a dirt pile. It went off and apparently a kid in an orange hooded parka--who apparently was with his classmates from an elementary school in Colorado on a field trip-- was blown to pieces. Somewhere in the distance, the rumors went, a kid in a hunting hat was to have said: "Oh, my god! They killed Kenny! Those bastards! "

Somehow, to Quinn, this wasn't interesting right now. She began to cry uncontrollably. She was the most afraid in her entire life.

"If only Daria was here, she'd save me from this mess!," she sobbed.

If she only knew then just how her wish would be granted. . .

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Back at the Kuriles, the repairs to the Neo-Zero were now complete. A fresh batch of Neo-Sidewinders was loaded and ready to go. Yoriko was ready to fly once again. But there was some unfinished business to attend to first with Dr. Vander Helffen.

"I'm warning you, Dr. Vander Helffen," Yoriko began, "if you don't make a fresh batch of Hi no Tori pills for me soon, there will be Hell to pay!"

"I will make more, I promise!," he reassured her.

Yoriko replied, "You'd better or else--"

She made a cutting motion across her throat.

With that, she climbed back into the cockpit and taxied down the runway. Son she was flying again.

Dr. Vander Helffen turned to two ninja spies and said, "Prepare the Iron Cross armor for me. I have a feeling that I will need it."

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Tokyo was in a state of siege. The air raid sirens were going off again.

At SDF Headquarters, the Sailor Senshi were preparing for the next round. Daria approached Brian Mackenzie.

"You wouldn't have a cousin named Michael Jordan Mackenzie back at Lawndale, do you?," she asked him.

"As a matter of fact, I do," replied Brian.

"I know him," said Daria; "we're classmates at the high school."

"How is Mike doing these days?," Brian asked.

"OK, hopefully," was Daria's reply.

But there was bad news about to be delivered from an NHK reporter:

"This is just in from our international desk. A double tragedy has struck the American community of Lawndale. First, it seems that the hijacked JAL flight from Tokyo to Berlin has crashed in that town. Further, it is now confirmed that a right wing militia group calling itself the Lawndale Militia had now taken over the town. We don't have any casualty reports for either disaster as of this time, but NHK will keep on top of these rapidly unfolding events as they develop!"

All of the Sailor Senshi were in shock. Ami was on that flight, and she may be seriously injured, perhaps even dead.

Sailor Moon was the first to speak:

"I know that this is a blow right now, and Ami's whereabouts are unknown, but we must concentrate on the matters in hand here. If Ami is indeed killed, then let this battle be dedicated to her memory. We swear that we will avenge whatever has happened to her on our own lives. Now, let's prepare for the next attack."

Daria stood there in shock. For the first time in her life, she was genuinely worried for her family. Her mother may be domineering, her father a nebbish and her sister an airhead, but deep down inside, where most times she didn't want to admit it, she really did care for them. Daria seemed to let a stray tear fall from her face. Sailor Neptune noticed it.

"Are you all right, Daria?," she asked her.

Daria replied, "I'm fine, really." But right now she was fighting an inner tempest of raging emotions like she had never faced before. And God only knew how all this would sort itself out in the end.

Data 9: The Neo-Zero Attacks!

he Neo-Zero was beginning its next round of attacks. First, Yoriko decided to destroy a couple of SDF/USAF bases in Chiba-ken. Yoriko approached the control tower and fired a Neo-Sidewinder at it, destroying it. She then blew up some fuel tanks, causing a devastating inferno to engulf the entire base. She did the same thing with several other bases along her way. She then set a course for Tokyo.

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Tokyo was now a maddening sea of panicked citizens. Everyone was running like the King of the Monsters himself, Gojira, was running amok in their community again.

The Mobile Unit of the National Police, the famed riot control unit, was desperately trying to keep some sense of order, but to no avail. The body-length shields were beginning to buckle from the strain of all the humanity pressed against them. Even the TMPD was having difficulties in keeping matters under control. Everywhere, the screams of those who sensed that they were to be condemned were filling the air:

"We're all going to die!"

"It's Doomsday!"

"Merciful Buddha, spare us!"

"No! I'm too young to die!"

"The end of the world is near!"

"Prepare to meet your doom!"

"Is there no God to save us?"

Suddenly, the Sailor Senshi appeared. Sailor Moon stood in front of the rest.

"Citizens of Tokyo, I implore you to stay calm!," she shouted. "Giving in to panic will only mean that the enemy will win over you with their fear! Please, calm down!"

However, it was of no use. Soon the crow began to overwhelm the Sailor Senshi right where they stood. Daria was knocked over and would have been trampled if it hadn't been for the quick thinking of Sailor Uranus, who pulled her out.

"Are you all right?," Sailor Uranus asked.

"More or less," Daria answered. "It's kind of like those mosh pits we have back home."

In the melee, the Mobile Unit and the TMPD were themselves overwhelmed. Later on, it was reported that there were several officers on both forces who were crushed to death. Chaos had clearly begun to assert itself on Tokyo.

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Shortly after the panic had begun, the Neo-Zero arrived. Yoriko started the terror right away by firing a Neo-Sidewinder right at the famed Tokyo Tower, blowing it up to scrap metal. She then set her sights on the Diet Building. She fired missiles at the chambers of both the House of Representatives and the House of Councillors, and a third at the middle of the building. Horrendous damage was wreaked on the building. For good measure, she fired two missiles at the Tokyo Dome, blowing up the roof and damaging a good portion of the stadium. Yoriko smiled to herself in a sinister way.

"Soon, Tokyo will fall to the iron rule of the NIRAA!," she yelled.

Suddenly, she noticed something on her radar. There were five blips on the screen; the IFF device indicated that they were five Grumman F-14A Tomcats; they had obviously been launched from a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier. Yoriko flew in the direction of the squadron closing in on her. When she got to visual range, she could see from the tail markings that they were with the famed Fighting 143rd Squadron, alias the Pukin' Dogs. She could hear the talk on the radio as the fighters approached:

"Tango to Victor! We've got our bandit on visual now," said one of the pilots.

The squadron leader, Victor, responded with, "All units prepare to lock on target and fire on my mark!"

It looked like they were going to use the 20-mm Vulcan cannons on her since they were so close. Yoriko made a power dive as the bullets began to fire away.

"Dammit, she's too fast for us, Victor!," shouted another pilot.

"Angel up to 15 and prepare to fire Sidewinders," said the squadron leader.

Yoriko saw them turn tail and prepare to fire their Sidewinder missiles at 15,000 feet. Yoriko used the HUD to target the five Tomcats, then programmed five Neo‑Sidewinders at them. She calmly pressed the fire button and saw each of the missiles take out their targets. They didn't know what hit them.

Yoriko sneered and flew back to the heart of the city.

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It was only on the most important occasions that a governor of a prefecture like Tokyo-to ever got to go into the Imperial Palace. Generally, the palace was only open to the public on two days in the year: the Emperor's Birthday and New Year's Day. However, Gov. Nagai was not making a social call to Emperor Akihito. The very life of the nation was at stake. He was now in an underground bunker beneath the Imperial Palace, speaking to both the Emperor and Empress Michiko; for good measure, the Solar Warrior was there as well. Gov. Nagai began to speak:

"Your Imperial Majesties, Tokyo hasn't suffered as much damage like this since the end of the war. The terrorist who has this aircraft can virtually wipe out this entire city with full impunity! The citizens of our nation are now turning their eyes to you for guidance in this grave matter. We need some assurances that this evil will pass."

The Solar Warrior added: "Gov. Nagai is right. The people are looking to both Your Imperial Majesties in this terrible time. Speak to the people. Tell them what they need to hear."

The Emperor arose and began to speak:

"Somehow, I wish that I could have avoided having to face a crisis like this. I have seen the reports myself and I have to confess that I fear for our nation. Do we want to return to the chaos that the regime that had once controlled this nation brought on all of us and the world?"

"It was in this very room that the war council met presided over by my father, the Showa Emperor. The vote was tied on what course of action was to be taken. It was up to him. He knew that we had foolishly let the militarists control every aspect of our society, that they led us to this calamity. He had to do what was right. He voted to end the war. He went on the radio and announced to this nation that we had to bear the unbearable. If this group seizes our nation, and begins to carry out its agenda, how many more bombs will fall? Must we suffer the nuclear terror of the Americans, the Russians, and the Chinese this time around? We must not let those who led us to ruin destroy half a century of progress, of good relations with the world."

He motioned to a nearby servant, who bowed deeply.

"Inform NHK that I will deliver an address shortly."

The servant bowed deeply again and left to make a phone call.

Gov. Nagai said, "You are doing the right thing, Your Majesty."

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About fifteen minutes later, this was heard on NHK:

"We interrupt our continuing coverage of the Neo-Zero crisis to bring you this message from the Emperor. Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor."

There was a picture of the Emperor and the Empress in the bunker. The Emperor stood up and began to speak:

"Citizens of Japan: We are now facing the greatest crisis in over fifty years. There are those out there who wish to restore militaristic control and regimentation in our society. These extremists think that the old ways were the best ways. Those ways were not the best ways. They brought immeasurable suffering and pain on countless millions in Asia and the world. The primary weapon of these extremists is fear and terror. However, they can be beat back if we do not submit to our worst fears. If we stay calm and not panic, we will have won half the battle. Therefore, I implore this nation to stay clam and to display in the face of the enemy the calmness and civility that have marked our nation and our way of life from time immemorial. We must not let fear conquer us. We must not let the enemy defeat us. Together, as a united front, we will show these extremists that we will not submit to their reign of fear. Thank you for your attention."

The announcer then said: "Please stay tuned to NHK for more developments in this crisis."

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A good part of Tokyo was now in flames. Fire, it seemed, was everywhere. Sailor Moon had transformed into her Eternal Mode and was flying above to survey the damage. Everywhere, it seemed, there was damage. She was now over Azabu-ku, her own neighborhood, and set down where her house was. Thankfully, so far it was undamaged. She ran in.

"Mom! Dad! Shingo!," she shouted.

Soon she could hear footsteps from the basement. Soon, Kenji, Ikuko and Shingo emerged.

"Mom! Dad! Look! It's Eternal Sailor Moon!," Shingo said.

Right now, Sailor Moon was not going to be coy about her real identity; she was too concerned.

"Mom, Dad, Shingo, it's actually me, Usagi," she calmly announced.

"No way! You can't be!," Kenji said in shock.

Sailor Moon waved a hand over her transforming brooch and reverted to her identity of Usagi. Everyone was speechless for a couple of minutes.

"Usagi, is that really you?," Ikuko started to say, stunned.

"Yes, it's me," she confirmed; "I guess you should know the truth now. For the past six years, I have been fighting evil as Sailor Moon. Luna told me that I was the reincarnation of a princess who lived on the Moon over one thousand years ago and that it was my destiny to lead humanity to an era of peace in the future. My friends work alongside me as the Sailor Senshi, and Mamoru is Tuxedo Mask; they also were from the Moon Kingdom, except Mamoru, who was known then as Endymion and was from Earth.. In the future, Chiba-Usa will be mine and Mamoru's daughter. Right now I have to stop this madwoman from destroying Tokyo and forcing our government to give in to her terrorist organization. Ami was one of us as well; she was Sailor Mercury. But when she left for Germany she transferred those powers to Daria. Now I don't even know if Ami is still alive or not. I'm fighting for all of our futures here. Please, if you love me, you'll leave here and get to a place of safety."

Already the tears were beginning to run down her face; Usagi was genuinely worried for her family's safety. She then heard footsteps behind her, and saw that the rest of the Sailor Senshi were right behind her.

Tuxedo Mask was the first to speak:

"Sailor Moon, is everyone here in the Tsukino household safe?"

"Yes, they are, Mamo-chan," said Usagi.

Everyone was in a state of shock.

"It's all right, we know everything now," Kenji said. "You know, I have to admit that I still had lingering doubts about you until now, Mamoru. I thought that you were too old for my daughter and was making her a juvenile delinquent. Now I know the gravity of the situation. How can you forgive this foolish man?"

Mamoru extended a hand and said, "There is nothing to apologize for; you just didn't know. And I would be honored to call you as a friend."

With that they shook hands.

"Now that we like you and all that," Ikuko said, "how can you help us?"

Mamoru replied, "You know that resort you went to six years ago, the one that had the water spirit that I had summoned when I was brainwashed to do Queen Beryl's bidding?"

"I don't know anything about you summoning spirits, but I do know that some strange happenings were going on there," was Kenji's reply.

"Go there," Mamoru said. "You will be safe."

"We will take your advice," Kenji said. Shortly, the Tsukinos had packed the bare necessities and took off in their car.

"It is better for them until things are resolved," Usagi said.

"Now, we've got unfinished business to deal with," Mamoru said.

Suddenly, someone somewhat familiar appeared. Usagi swore she was seeing double. But there he was all the same: a man dressed like an Arab, with a scimitar at his side. Undoubtedly it was the Moonlight Knight.

"Mamoru, you can't be at two places at once," Usagi said.

"Sailor Moon, surely you know me, the Moonlight Knight?," he began to speak.

Daria turned to Meiou and asked, "What's this all about? You mean that Mamoru has two secret identities?"

Meiou said, "It's kind of a complicated story."

The Moonlight Knight then stopped and removed the veil from his face. Usagi stood there in shock.. It was none other than Furuhata Motoki, the owner of the Crown Game Center that Usagi still hung out at after school.

"Mamoru, can you explain what's going on here?," Usagi demanded.

"I will," Motoki started. "It was shortly after the Sailor Galaxia incident. Mamoru had that close call with that disappearance while he was flying to America. After the incident was resolved, he approached me and told me all about you and the others, Usagi. He then gave me the costume of the Moonlight Knight and trained me in some basic fighting skills. If Mamoru was to disappear again or if the Sailor Senshi needed some more muscle, I was going to be the ace in the hole. And I guess that right now you're going to need all the help you can get."

As to confirm that remark, the Neo-Zero streaked out of the sky again, and straight for the Sailor Senshi! The Deathgrip cannon was roaring at full blast. Everyone scattered.

"OK, sister, you asked for it!," Usagi said. "ETERNAL MOON STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!!!"

She transformed to Eternal Sailor Moon and began to fly right toward the Neo-Zero.

Yoriko just sneered and started to play another CD in her player. This time it was "Black Monk Time" from The Monks. She was listening to the opening track "Monk Time" and was hearing Gary Burger's frantic voice:

"Alright, my name is Gary. Let's go. It's Beat time, it's Hop time, it's Monk time. You know, we don't like the army! What army? Who cares what army! Why do you kill all those kids over there in Vietnam? Mad Viet Cong! My brother died in Vietnam. James Bond, who is he? (frantic electric banjo riff from Dave Day) Stop it, stop it, I don't like it! It's too loud for my ears. Pussy Galore is coming down and we like it. We don't like the atomic bomb. . .(shrieking organ riff from Larry Clark) Stop it, stop it! I don't like it! Stop it! What's your meaning, Larry? (another organ interlude from Larry) Ah, you think like I think. You're a Monk, I'm a Monk, we're all Monks. . .Dave, Larry, Eddie, Roger, everybody, let's go. . .it's Beat time, it's Hop time--IT'S MONK TIME NOW!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!"

Sailor Moon was flying as fast as she could. She grabbed her old Moon Scepter and pointed it at the cockpit.

"You will not destroy our future, you spawn of Hell!," Sailor Moon shrieked as she prepared to fire off her Moon Princess Halation beam.

Yoriko was hearing Larry Clark's frantic organ playing, then the chorus of "It's Hop Time! It's Monk Time!"

"Blow it out your ass!," was all she said as she squeezed the trigger of the Deathgrip cannon.

Sailor Moon began to say "MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!" when suddenly hot lead tore through her like jagged needles. Sailor Moon fell helplessly from the sky and landed on the ground with a terrifying "THUD!!!!!!!!!!" The rest of the Sailor Senshi ran to her, Daria being the first to get to her.

"Usagi! Speak to me!," Daria yelled at her, shaking her; "Are you all right?"

Sailor Jupiter kneeled down besides her. She gave a quick check of her vital signs.

"She'd bleeding badly," she said. "I don't think there's even a pulse. We have to get the Sailor Star Lights. Only Sailor Star Healer can save her now."

Daria became very mad. She raised her head to the sky and screamed, "NOW YOU'VE MADE IT PERSONAL, YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" She ran off in the direction of the Neo-Zero.

"Daria! Come back here!," Luna ordered sharply. "Sailor Senshi don't drop everything to carry out personal vendettas!"

"Let her go, Luna!," Rei said. "Since Ami's not here, I'm now in charge. Let Daria blow some steam. She'll be back."

Mamoru, in the meantime, reached for his cellular phone and called the Sailor Star Lights. This was the only chance Usagi had now to survive.

Daria, meanwhile was still running when suddenly, something smacked up against her head with a loud "CRACK!!!!!!!!!!" She fell down, helpless.

"Stay right where you are!," said an iron voice behind her. "Don't make another move!"

Daria suddenly found herself surrounded by NIRAA ninja soldiers. She held her hands up in surrender. They took her away to a secret location near the Sumito Heavy Industries headquarters. Dr. Vander Helffen would be awaiting for them there.

"Great! Now I've been captured," she thought to herself; "Wait until I send my next postcard. It'll say: 'Dear Mom, Dad, and Quinn: I'm now a POW being held by an extremist group. Please make sure to inform the Red Cross so they can send those POW packages. Love, Daria.' What a trip this had been!"

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Back at Lawndale, The Free Lawndalers had made it as far as the local YMCA and decided to stay there for the night. Mr. DeMartino was checking his AK-47 when Helen Morgendorffer ran screaming to him:

"I CAN'T FIND HER!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T FIND HER!!!!!!!!!!"

"Don't interrupt me while I'm cleaning my AK-47!," Mr. DeMartino yelled at her, his right eye bulging out again. "Do you want me to shoot my eye out! Now, who can't you find?"

"My younger daughter, Quinn!," Helen continued. "I haven't been able to find her since the plane crash!"

Mr. DeMartino motioned to Ms. Barch and Ami.

"You two, find out what happened to Quinn Morgendorffer!," he snapped at them.

"I don't like taking orders from male scum like you, DeMartino!,:" Ms. Barch said.

Mr. DeMartino pointed his gun and said "Well, my gun and I have a different opinion!"

Ms. Barch took the hint, and left with Ami.

"Male scumbag!," she muttered to herself. They left the YMCA and went down the street.

Soon they saw someone.

"Excuse me," Ami asked, "Have you seen Quinn Morgendorffer?"

"You bet I did," the person began to say. "Beavis and Butt-Head dragged her to the bus stop, kicked the driver out and drove the bus all the way back to Highland, I figure."

"Might as well get my car and go over there," Ms. Barch said. "I always hated those two creeps! They always make mischief when they come here to see Highland take on Lawndale. All men are scum, Ami, and don't you forget it!"

Ami was beginning to see that not all guys were like Mamoru or even like Urawa Ryo, the smart but kind boy she met back in the Sailor Senshi's early days when they were searching for the seven Rainbow Crystals that formed the Silver Imperium Crystal. But at least she didn't think that all men were scum, at least not just yet.

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It was about 10:30 PM. Beavis and Butt-Head were watching TV. They were watching the reports of the JAL crash and the Lawndale Militia coup.

"Cool! We're on TV, Beavis!," Butt-Head said.

"Where! Where!," Beavis said, excited.

"I think we're over there!," replied Butt-Head, pointing to the TV.

"This is cool!," Beavis said, then began doing his "HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!!!!!!!!"

Butt-Head added his "UH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH!!!!!!!!!!"

Then they changed the channel and tuned into a channel that was showing the newsreel footage of the Hindenburg disaster. They began their hideous laughter again.

"Hey, Butt-Head," asked Beavis.

Butt-Head replied, "Uh, what, Beavis?"

Beavis then said, "Is this the Super Bowl?"

"Uh, I think so, Beavis," was Butt-Head's answer; "It looks like the Goodyear Blimp!"

Then they saw the airship explode and Herb Morrison say "It's burst into flames!"

"FIRE!!!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!!," Beavis said.

"Cool! It's crashing right onto the playing field!," Butt-Head said. They began their hideous laughter again.

Meanwhile, in the closet, Quinn had found a pin on the floor and managed to unlock the door. She slipped out--making sure that she had her bra back on--and slipped out of the house.

"Uh, Beavis, did you just hear the door open?," asked Butt-Head.

Beavis replied, "I think so, Butt-Head."

"Uh, better check on Quinn," asked Butt-Head.

Beavis got up and checked. When he saw no one there, he went "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! QUINN'S GONE!!!!!!!!!! QUINN'S GONE!!!!!!!!!!"

Butt-Head went over and said, "Dammit, Beavis, now how are we going to score?"

"I bet I know where she went, though," Beavis replied.

With that they left to find Quinn.

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Quinn was out of breath when she reached the home of Tom Anderson. She rang the doorbell and soon it was opened by Mr. Anderson.

"Hello, young lady," he said; "What can I do for you?"

"My name's Quinn Morgendorffer," she began; "I'm from Lawndale. Beavis and Butt-Head kidnapped me and took me to their place. But I managed to escape. I need help"

"You're Daria Morgendorffer's sister, aren't you?," Mr. Anderson asked.

Quinn replied, "Yes, I am."

"Well, I remember her," Mr. Anderson replied. "Smart little girl, she is. Do you want to call your parents?"

"Yes, please," begged Quinn.

They entered the house. But then, Beavis and Butt-Head saw them enter and raced for the door, kicking it down.

"Quinn, we don't like girls like you running away from us," Butt-Head said.

"Yeah! That's not cool!," Beavis added.

"You boys have done the most heinous thing I've ever heard about. I'm going to call the police right now," Mr. Anderson said.

"No way!," Beavis screamed. With that he found a golf club that was lying nearby and began to bludgeon Mr. Anderson with it. Soon, he was lying there, dead in a pool of blood.

"Cool! He's dead!," Beavis said. "Now we can do what we want with Quinn!"

"You murderers! Don't you know right from wrong?," Quinn sobbed.

"Do a striptease for us, bitch!," Butt-Head ordered.

"Then, like, let's have her wear that outfit we made that looks like that Gabrielle chick's outfit from that Xena chick's show!," Beavis said.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!," Quinn shrieked.

"You won't deny us again!," Beavis said, then clenched his fists and began to shake up and down while going "BOINGOINGOINGOINGOINGOING!!!!!!!!!!!" They moved in closer on Quinn. Quinn was screaming, "SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, there was a cold blast of air that hit the room.

"SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!," shouted a voice from the front door.

Beavis and Butt-Head were frozen solid.

Quinn turned around to see Ami and Ms. Barch in the front door. She ran to Ami and collapsed into her arms, crying.

"I'm just glad you came!," Quinn sobbed.

"It's all right. It's all over now," Ami said.

Ms. Barch went to the now frozen Beavis and Butt-Head and sneered, "You men are all scum!"

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Daria was in some dark room with a strong light on her face. She was tied to a chair. Suddenly, a door opened, and Dr. Vander Helffen entered.

"So, you're the new Sailor Mercury now, aren't you?," he said.

Daria gave a rather stock answer:

"My name is Daria Morgendorffer. I am a member of the Sailor Senshi. I am a citizen of the United States and demand to be treated as a prisoner of war in accordance with the Geneva Convention."

"That will do you no good," Dr. Vander Helffen replied. "The New Imperial Rule Assistance Association does not recognize the Geneva Convention. In fact, when we're done, we will rule the world and abolish the Geneva Convention, the United Nations and all other weak-kneed organizations and treaties. Japan will be the undisputed master of the world. And now you will hear of those plans before we execute you!"

Data 10: The Truth About Amazana Yoriko

r. Vander Helffen looked at Daria like a teacher would with a troublesome but promising student. He sensed that he had her undivided attention. He was about to speak when Yoriko arrived; she had landed the Neo-Zero at an airfield near the facility. She stepped in and approached the two of them.

"I guess you may know this individual by now," Dr. Vander Helffen said. "This is Amazana Yoriko. She is the nominal head of the NIRAA, but I wield the actual power in the organization. As you can see, she has bombed Tokyo with the Neo-Zero with complete impunity. Don't think that you and your Sailor Senshi friends will be able to defeat us; we are too powerful to stop."

He continued, "And now I think it is time that I told you about myself, Yoriko and the aims of the NIRAA. Take a look at me: how old do you think I am.?"

"My best guess would be in your late 30's," Daria replied.

Dr Vander Helffen then launched into his exposition of himself, Yoriko and the NIRAA:

"What if I told you that I am actually 89 years old. It is due to the Hi no Tori Immortality Pills that I take. But I will get to that later on. What matters now is that you will hear about myself."

"I was born to one of those old Jünker families in the German province of Prussia. I witnessed the humiliating defeat of Kaiser Wilhelm and the Imperial Army at the hands of the decadent Americans. I swore that I would never again see my beloved Germany be humiliated. I went to the best schools in Germany and eventually entered the then young fields of genetics and cryogenics. When Adolf Hitler organized the Nazi Party, I joined and offered my services to the Führer in creating the 'Master Race' that he sought to have. When the Nazis rose to power I received approval from the Fuehrer to conduct more experiments. I carried them out on the inferior Jews and crippleds."

"But my greatest achievement was when I created the Hi no Tori Immortality Pills. When the Nazis conquered North Africa, an ancient text from Egypt was brought over to me. This text had been copied from ancient Chinese documents dating back to the time of Master Kung himself and made its way through India, Iran, Saudi Arabia and finally over to Egypt. It was an ancient formula for creating an immortality pill that allegedly came from the legendary Phoenix itself; Hi no Tori is Japanese for 'Firebird' or 'Phoenix'. Apparently the writer had been to Japan, where the Phoenix appeared to him in a vision with Amaterasu-Omikami, the Sun Goddess, and her brother, Susano, the Wind God. The recipe called for the rarest of ingredients, which even today are very hard to procure. But procure them I did, and created the first batch. I have taken the pills since I was in my early 30's."

"It was the creation of this pill that led me to my next task: Creating for the Führer a race of 'Ultra Soldiers' who would defend the Fatherland from the American subhumans and exterminate the Jews, crippleds, Gypsies, and other inferior races. I toiled throughout the War to create the serum. But, when I finally perfected it, the final assault on Berlin had begun, and the Soviet armies were closing in on me. I ran to the Japanese Embassy and they conducted me out of the country, but not before I found out that my beloved Führer and Eva Braun had killed themselves. I decided to go to Japan and hopefully give to them the Ultra Soldier formula and thus at least help them defeat the Americans. However, the military leaders would not hear of it from me. Remember, they, and not Emperor Hirohito were in actual control; the Emperor was a mere puppet in their hands. I stayed in Tokyo and hoped that they would be desperate enough to finally come to me. However, the Americans soon used their atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the militarists surrendered."

"However, that soon proved to be a boon to me. Shortly before the atomic bombings, I had learned that Gen. Tojo Hideki had an illegitimate child as a result of an affair he had with a prostitute who lived in the pleasure quarters of the Ginza. As soon as the American occupation forces arrived, I knew I had to act quickly. They wanted to seize the child from its mother as punishment for her infiltrating American lines disguised as a runaway Korean comfort woman and wheedling out secrets from the American soldiers, which she then told Gen. Tojo about. They wanted to take the child to the United States, put her up for adoption and erase any memory of her ancestry. They were afraid that if there was a child of Tojo's who was aware of his or her heritage, he or she might organize a new extremist organization that would take over Japan. I, however, got to the prostitute's home first, and promised the woman that I would take care of her girl. Soon enough, the American forces arrived at her house, and got so incensed that they could not find the child that they arrested her, charged her with espionage, and had her executed."

"Meanwhile, I had spirited her away with me to Argentina, where I lived for a while. There I injected my first batch of 'Ultra Soldier' serum into her, but there was an unexpected reaction; the results were unstable. I was forced to place her in cryogenic stasis until I could create an antidote. It took me twenty-five years for me to do that, during which I refined the 'Ultra Soldier' formula. When I finally got her out of cryogenic stasis, I used the antidote on her, then used the refined formula. The results were amazing. She now can lift 65 tons over her head, has the endurance of fifty men, and is in better physical condition than the best Olympic athlete. I began to indoctrinate her on Nazi philosophy, using of course the Führer's classic text Mein Kampf. I had also sent her to the best schools in Japan; eventually, she got her Master's Degree in Political Science from Tokyo University. Yoriko has been raised since she was thawed to be loyal to me. I also have her on the Hi no Tori pill."

"And now, you will learn about my plan to conquer the world. As soon as we make the civilian government surrender to us, we will launch an aggressive campaign to take back what is rightfully Japan's. We will retake the Kuriles and Sakhalin Island from Russia; we will retake the Pescadores from China. We will reannex both Koreas and Taiwan. We will conquer Indonesia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, Mynamar, Singapore, Malaysia, the Philippines, India, Bhutan ,Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Papua New Guinea and the other Oceanic nations. We will then declare war on the United States, Great Britain, Russia, China and France and use nuclear bombs that we will appropriate from the seized American bases that we take over. After those five nations are humiliated, we will threaten to unleash more nuclear weapons on the rest of the world unless it submits to Japan. No one will be able to stop us, NO ONE!"

"Yes, there is something that will stop you," Daria said.

Dr. Vander Helffen continued unabated:

"And what will that be? God? The spirit of the Japanese people? Humanity? Freedom? The Americans or the Russians? What will stop us, Daria?"

Daria replied, "Public opinion will, because if you think the rest of the world is going to just let you waltz into power and start this mayhem of yours, you're even crazier than I suspected."

Dr. Vander Helffen was aghast. He continued:

"Public opinion will stop me? Are you serious? See what decadence is out there right now. The public is being sated by a modern-day version of the old Roman 'bread and circuses' tactics. This time, it's senseless media controlled by very few people, who make people watch trash that's full of lies, half-truths, distortions, colored opinions, useless trivia, promiscuous sex, wanton violence and degradation. You have celebrities and sports people who act outrageously and get away with it; further, not a month passes by now unless there's news of a shooting in a school. Do I have to remind you about the Latrell Sprewell incident or the shootings at Jonesboro, Arkansas and Springfield, Oregon? Is it any wonder groups like mine exist in many nations around the world? We're trying to restore sanity to this world. There are groups like mine all over the world: the National Front in France; the Neo-Nazi skinheads in Germany, the Neo-Fascists in Italy; even in your country there are the right-wing militias and the white supremacists and the disgruntled anti-government taxpayers groups like the All-County Taxpayers Association."

"And there are weirdoes like Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols who bomb Federal office buildings and kill innocent people," Daria said. "Dr. Vander Helffen, the world you are dreaming of is in reality a nightmare; it would be a world ruled by madmen who think only they can be the source of law and order and that those who oppose them‑‑especially minorities, the disabled and the poor--have to be exterminated. Hitler was real close to bringing such a nightmare world to reality, but he was stopped. Your dream isn't about restoring Japanese glory, it's about bringing a Fourth Reich to existence. If you think my friends and I are going to just stand aside and let you and others like you get away with this, then you are dead wrong. We will stop you even it it's the last thing we ever do."

Yoriko got mad and slapped Daria.

"You're just wasting your breath on her," Yoriko said to Dr. Vander Helffen.

"You're right," he said. "Take her away to be executed!"

Daria was untied from the chair and taken away. "Great, " she began to say to herself, "just a few days ago, I was worrying about Beavis and Butt-Head heckling me at the football game; now I'm about to be executed by firing squad. That's the sick, sad story of my life."

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The Lawndale Courthouse was filled with Lawndale Militia personnel. In the chambers a moot trial was about to be held against the Mayor, the City Council and the City Judge. Anthony Corlew was going to be the judge, with twelve of his closest associates being the jury.

Anthony stood up and banged the gavel. He then said:

"This trial is now set to begin. All of the defendants are accused of the following crimes: fraud; corruption; bribery; funneling taxpayers' money to welfare-cheating minorities and disabled persons; indoctrinating our children with poisonous politically correct doctrine while in school and encouraging promiscuity by having condoms available at the high school. The punishment for all of these crimes shall be death by firing squad. The trial shall begin."

Somehow, the outcome was known beforehand, but they wanted to have this trial so as to look legitimate in the eyes of the public.

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At SDF Headquarters, Usagi was fighting for her life. But now there was another concern as well.

"Daria has been gone for hours," Rei said. "She should know better than to just run off on her own personal vendettas."

"Save your bratty attitude for later," Mamoru yelled. "Can't you see the woman I love is in critical condition?"

Rei was taken aback from Mamoru's yelling at her. It wasn't too long ago, after all, that she was once his girlfriend. Then she found out that Usagi and Mamoru were meant to be together. She had her complaints, her arguments, and even her fights, but far be it form her to stand in the way of destiny. Somehow, however, it just seemed so unfair. She began to cry.

"Rei, I didn't mean to snap at you like that," Mamoru finally said. "I just hope to God that Mako can get the Star Lights over here as soon as possible."

Just then, a Ground SDF soldier arrived and spoke to Gen. Torymura:

"Sir, you might want to see this. It's a video from a surveillance camera. It seems that Ms. Morgendorffer is being taken in the direction of Olympic Stadium by the NIRAA. I think they may be planning to execute her."

"Mr. Chiba, Ms. Kaiou, I want the both of you to go over there and rescue our missing operative,", Gen. Torymura said.

"You're asking Tuxedo Mask to leave the side of the woman he adores so you can launch a commando operation? That is pathetic," Michiru said in response.

"It's all right," Mamoru replied. He turned to Usagi and said, "Usako, my love, I promise you that I will return to you. If, however, I lose you, I swear before all that is holy, just and true that I will not rest until the bastard who did this to you is stopped for all time. Twice you almost lost me because of my own carelessness; I don't want to lose you due to your own. This I swear!"

With that, he gathered his cape around himself, grabbed the walking cane he had and departed with Sailor Neptune.

Just then, they arrived: The Sailor Star Lights. Their names were Sailor Star Fighter, Sailor Star Maker and Sailor Star Healer. Sailor Star Healer's talents were going to be needed.

"I came back as soon as I could," Makoto said. "Right now, I wouldn't be surprised if we had to call on the Amazoness Quartet eventually as well. The entire city is in chaos."

"Where is our leader?," Sailor Star Healer said.

Chibi-Usa pointed at her. "You must hurry," she said, "if she dies, then it'll be as if I never existed."

Sailor Star Healer went over to Sailor Moon. She looked at her.

"This will take almost all of my healing energy, but it can be done," she said. With that, she placed her hands over Usagi's forehead, and energy immediately flowed from her to Usagi.

Rei got on her knees and prayed:

"Kannon, Goddess of Mercy, spare Usagi's life. I know we haven't gotten along too well in the past, but I couldn't have asked for a better leader. This I pray."

All Luna and Artemis could do was watch. "It's all up to her now," Luna finally said.

"She has to pull through; if she doesn't, all will be lost!," Artemis added.

Everyone was hoping for the best.

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Olympic Stadium was built for the 1964 Summer Games. Those games were to showcase a Tokyo that had been successfully resurrected from the wartime destruction that had wreaked as much havoc on the city as did the 1923 earthquake. But now it seemed to be a monument to past glories. Japan was in an economic slump, and the facility seemed so dated now. Sitting where Emperor Hirohito himself had declared the Games opened, Dr. Vander Helffen--along with Yoriko--were watching some NIRAA soldiers tie Daria up to a flagpole for her execution. As custom dictated, the soldier asked for a few requests.

"Blindfold?," the soldier asked.

"No," Daria replied.

"Cigarette?," the soldier asked again.

Daria said, "I don't smoke."

Finally, the soldier asked, "Any last words?"

"I don't have any last words," shot back Daria, "but I do have this."

She wrenched her free hand from the other soldier who was tying her up, and gave the middle finger to Dr. Vander Helffen and Yoriko. The soldier seized the hand and tied it to the flagpole.

"How dare she do that!," Yoriko said.

Dr. Vander Helffen now stood up. Five NIRAA soldiers were standing about twenty paces away from Daria.. He took a ceremonial Prussian field marshal's sword that had been his grandfather's and held it up in the air.

"When I yell 'FIRE!!!!!!!!!!' and drop my sword, execute her," he commanded.

The soldiers loaded up their rifles. Another soldier began to beat a drum.

"READY!!!!!!!!!!," Dr. Vander Helffen shouted.

The soldiers took up their rifles.

Dr. Vander Helffen they yelled, "AIM!!!!!!!!!!!"

They all focused on Daria

Dr. Vander Helffen was now ready to yell "FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!" and drop his sword, but then a red rose dart hit him right between the eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!," Dr. Vander Helffen yelled.

Suddenly, there was another yell:

"SUPER NEPTUNE TYPHOON, OVERWHELM!!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, a wall of water crashed down on the firing squad, sweeping them away. Daria noticed that it was all the way up to her chin. But then Tuxedo Mask came out of nowhere, grabbed onto the pole, and wrapping one arm around the pole and using his free hand, took a rose dart and cut the ropes binding Daria to the pole. Then, he took out his walking stick, which extended, and used that to polevault their way to the stands. She noticed that Sailor Neptune was standing there, with her trident over her head.

"Am I ever glad to see you guys!," Daria said.

"Save the congratulations for when we get back to SDF Headquarters," Tuxedo Mask said. They made good their escape.

Yoriko went over to Dr. Vander Helffen.

"Are you OK?," she asked.

Dr. Vander Helffen replied, "He got me right between the eyes."

"I swear, I will get vengeance for this!," Yoriko said. "We will have the last laugh!"

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When Daria, Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Neptune returned to SDF HQ, Usagi was still fighting for her life.

"Why is this taking so long?," Minako said, almost at the verge of tears.

"See what your foolishness has done?," Mamoru said. "I swear, Usagi wasn't as obnoxious in the beginning as you are right now!"

Sailor Star Healer said, "I'm almost at the end of my resources here!"

"C'mon, Mom," Chibi-Usa was saying to herself, "Dad and I are counting on you to pull through!"

It was then that Gov. Nagai, the Solar Warrior and the rest of the Nagai campaign team arrived.

"Who authorized you to be here?," Gen. Torymura said.

"I have the permission of both the Emperor and the Prime Minister," Gov. Nagai said. "If you want to file a complaint, take it up with them."

The Solar Warrior saw Usagi's condition and knew he had to act quickly. He took out what looked like a small yellow disc and placed it on Usagi's head.

"What are you doing?," Sailor Star Healer said.

"It is a Solar Healing Disc," the Solar Warrior replied. "The very energy of the Sun will heal her."

Suddenly, the disc began glowing, coursing energy throughout Usagi's body. Usagi was beginning to moan in pain, but soon the pain was finally easing. Finally, within a minute, all the injuries had healed themselves.

"Give her time to rest," the Solar Warrior said. "She is out of danger now."

"I think it is time you finally leveled with us and talked about who you are and how you came to be," Tuxedo Mask said. "Even when I was Endymion back in the Silver Millennium I never heard about you or your exploits. Are you really who you claim to be, or are you working for the enemy?"

"I see that some of the doubts that Usagi and Luna have about me since in the beginning has rubbed off on you," the Solar Warrior said. "But now I will finally tell my tale. Take it from me, once you hear it , all doubts will be erased."

Data 11: The Solar Warrior's Origins

he Solar Warrior had the attention of everyone at SDF HQ now. He thus began to speak about his origins:

"To begin my story, I must take you back tens of thousands of years, even before the Moon Kingdom itself was founded. It was the time of the 'Golden Epoch,' an era of universal peace and prosperity that existed long before the Silver Millennium. At the heart of this Golden Epoch was the Solar Realm, a kingdom that was governed on truth, justice and mercy. The Solarians themselves lived in a pocket dimension that existed within the Sun; my race was old when time was young. Our ruler and god was known as the Guardian of the Sun, but since our ruler was away on a ten thousand year journey to acquire knowledge of the other alien races that exist in this galaxy, our kingdom was governed by the Royal High Council, consisting of the High Priests of the Sun. Law and order was maintained by the Holy Order of the Solar Knights, and I, Nakajimi Tetsuo, was one of them. I was born to one of the most powerful families of the nobility; we ruled what we had called the Planetary Province of Terra, what you call Earth. The Solar Realm consisted of all of your Solar System. The Solar Knights were known for their even‑handed administration of justice and acts of chivalry. Everyone who lived in our realm was assured that no criminal would escape, no cry for help go unheeded. Soon I was made the Exalted Commandant of the Solar Knights, and I was set to marry the Crown Princess herself once she and the Guardian of the Sun returned.

"However, that was not to be. One day, we were on routine patrol near Pluto, when we received a distress call. 'Help! We are under attack!,' it went. Soon we heard a menacing voice. 'We are the Mecha-Dominion! We will absorb your world into our realm! Rebellion against us is useless!' We raced over to the outpost, but saw that it was virtually destroyed. We found a few survivors. They told us that the Mecha-Dominion consisted of cybernetic beings who implanted computer chip devices onto the foreheads of those they conquered and made into slaves to serve the Supreme Computer that governs their realm. They were on their way to Pluto. We had to stop them."

"We called for reinforcements, and gathered our forces at Pluto. Soon we saw their vast armada: a vast fleet of ships without number; ships that all looked the same and were all in the same pyramidal shape. We fought valiantly, but their weapons were far too superior to ours. They had weapons that could destroy entire planets and entire fleets of starships. Soon Pluto fell to the Mecha-Dominion. Thus that was repeated with each planet. Neptune fell, then Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Earth, Venus, and Mercury. Finally, we made one last desperate stand at the Sun. However, the Mecha-Dominion Mother Ship fired a powerful beam, collapsing the forecefield that kept our pocket dimension inside the Sun in existence. All who were in there perished in solar fire. Soon all save I were absorbed. I managed to escape by self-destructing my ship and hiding out in a cargo box. I had managed to take some provisions beforehand. I was in there for a month until a squadron of the United Galactic Confederation Defense Forces rescued me. They briefed me on what happened. All but a remnant who managed to escape had been taken from every planet in our realm. I was the only Solarian still alive. The Solar Realm was no more, and I was the last Holy Solar Knight. I finally settled on the Moon--which even then had people on it--and settled with some survivors. Back then, after the Mecha-Dominion attack, each planet was governed under its own system of government. Earth had fallen into anarchy and chaos, while Mercury, Venus and Jupiter had become monarchies. Mars, Saturn and Pluto were republics while Uranus and Neptune had become military dictatorships. The Moon had become a republic with a strong centralized system of government; there was a powerful president and an equally powerful parliament and high court. Soon enough, the president had asked me to head the newly created Lunar Republic Security Force. I served in that capacity for thirty years."

"Then, one day, the long-absent Guardian of the Sun returned. She stopped by the Moon and asked for me. I saw her at my office in Tranquillity City, the capital of the Lunar Republic. I still remember everything as it was yesterday. I remember when I first saw her, she said, 'I know you carry a tremendous burden in your heart. I know you lost everyone you cared for. But I want to make that up to you. I am the Guardian of the Sun, who was once the ruler of the now extinct Solar Realm.'"

"I then asked, 'If you are her, then why did you abandon us?'"

"She replied, 'I was seeking knowledge of all that live here in the galaxy. But now I realize that I have been derelict in my duties. If I had been here, I could have saved my people. When my daughter saw what happened, she killer herself. I know that you were going to be wed to her. I am sorry.'"

"I felt such a great loss then. But then she pointed toward the Earth and spoke further;"

"'Look at the Earth. When my ancestors, Izanagi and Izanami, created the Earth, the mud dripping from Izanami's spear created those islands you see off the coast of East Asia. On that nation, the gods themselves took human form and decided to live there. They call this land in their tongue Nihon, which means to them the source of the Sun. They are a vibrant people, but the lawlessness that permeates this planet threatens to overwhelm them. Already I have seen the terror that these anarchistic humans do. I have visited this planet in many disguises. In Egypt I saw the natives there enslave another race called the Hebrews who were fleeing from starvation. In the Western Hemisphere I saw savage tribes cut out the hearts of other people while they were still alive and offer them as gifts to their gods. I have seen lawlessness and disregard for the rights of others. I saw cruelty and disrespect and murder. If this is what the attack of the Mecha-Dominion has left, then it is time to correct it.'"

"'By now you should know who I am. I am actually Amaterasu-Omikami, the Great Heaven Shining Deity. I am the Goddess of the Sun. I hereby say now that I will never again abandon my people. As for you, you can help me in this. I will give you the power to face these anarchists who wish to keep Earth in chaos. I know that you have developed a special affinity for these humans. They need someone who will hear their pleas for help. Whenever the widowed and the orphaned are oppressed, whenever the less fortunate are persecuted, whenever those who cannot speak or fend for themselves need help, you will be there for them. I will make you immortal so that you can always watch over these humans. From time to time, I will change your appearance so that you can walk among men. I will send you down to Nihon and you will lead these people through their transition to becoming a great society. That way, never again will I leave my people helpless without a savior to rescue them.'"

"With that, she bestowed upon me the powers I now have as the Solar Warrior. After that, I left the Moon and arrived here in Japan. As Amaterasu-Omakami herself said, I was given many disguises over the millennia. I became Jimmu Tenno, the first Emperor of Japan. Humanity has also known me by various other disguises. I was once Saint George, the Dragon Slayer; King Arthur of Britain; King Robert the Bruce of Scotland; Sparticus of Rome; Michael Collins of Ireland and most recently Steven Biko of South Africa. Whenever the masses were being persecuted, there I would be, fighting to right injustice."

"Eventually, the Mecha-Dominion attacked the Solar System once again. The attack was so devastating that finally Selene, the Greek Goddess of the Moon, decided that it was time to re-establish a system-wide empire. She took the best of her Amazons and the best men of ancient Greece, and settled them on the Moon. Since this time, the Lunar Republic was obliterated, they had to re-establish a nation there. Thus it was that one of these Amazons, Cynthia of Corinth, was wed to Telemachos, son of Odysseus, and thus the Moon Kingdom was established and the Silver Millennium was inaugurated. From them descended every ruler of the Moon Kingdom, even Queen Serenity. During Queen Serenity's reign there was another Mecha-Dominion attack, and I was called to help in defeating them. We were successful. A year after, Princess Serenity was born, at the same time that another person on Earth was: his name was Endymion, who was a descendant of Roland, the nephew of Charlemagne, who sounded his horn too late in battle for help and was killed by the Saracens. His wife Aude went into labor and gave birth to his great-grandfather; Aude then died from the shock of the news. About twenty years later, I paid a visit to the Moon Kingdom once again, and I met him. I even introduced him to the Queen and the Princess."

"I don't have any recollection of meeting you then," Mamoru said.

The Solar Warrior continued:

"That was because you knew me then as Haakon Norjal, a Viking who had recently been converted to Christianity and was now using his fighting prowess to help others. It was I who introduced you to Usagi."

"Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing a Viking that day when I first met her," Mamoru confessed. "He said that he had visited the Moon Kingdom many times over the past twenty years and got to know the princess very well. I think he said that we'd make a good couple. I have to admit that back then, Usagi wasn't as much as the airhead she still is to an extent."

If Usagi was awake to hear that right now, she would have blushed. But she was still resting from her recovery.

"So now you see," Tetsuo resumed, "I have been on your side all along. When I heard that the Moon Kingdom had been destroyed, I was stunned. For centuries afterward, I prepared myself for the day that I would see my old friends again. When the Dark Kingdom returned six years ago, I was ready, but then, I was commanded by Amaterasu-Omikami to prepare for a threat to Japan even greater than that. Little did I know that it would be the NIRAA. I promised Amaterasu-Omikami that I would stop them. And I hope now that I have earned your trust and can fight alongside you."

Luna was the first to speak: "We're sorry if we ever doubted you, Solar Warrior. On behalf of the entire Sailor Senshi, we'd be happy to have you on our side."

Daria was so moved by the Solar Warrior's story that tears were beginning to run down her face.

"I see you are moved by my tale, Daria. You are crying," Tetsuo said,.

"No, I'm not," Daria answered. "But then again, you have moved me. I must confess that ever since I first met you, I have drawn strongly attracted to you. You're unlike any other guy I've ever met. But I know that this cannot be. You see, I've got a guy back home in Lawndale that I have a crush on named Trent Lane; if only he'd know how I felt."

"Daria," Tetsuo said, "Give it time. One of these days, he'll tell you how he feels about you. In this battle, we're fighting for everyone we care about. I know I am. I have a wife and son back home in Narita that I'm fighting for. I'm fighting for their future just as the Sailor Senshi are fighting for theirs. Remember, if we lose this battle, we lose everything we're fighting for: freedom, security, and family." He then rested a hand on Daria's left shoulder. "I can sense that you are a very special person. Use the talent that you have for good."

Usagi was now beginning to stir.

"Uh, where--where an I?," she finally said.

"It's all right, Usagi-chan," Rei said. "You're back. That's all that matters."

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Back at Lawndale High School, which was being used as the headquarters of the Free Lawndalers, there was going to be a reunion.

Trent was with his sister Jane, waiting for Ami and Ms. Barch to arrive with Quinn.

"Janey," Trent said at last," I can't stand the waiting."

"It sounds like you really care for Quinn, doesn't it?," Jane said.

"Yeah, well, after all, she is Daria's sister," Trent answered her. "She may be ditzy but she's OK."

Jane then said, "Trent, I know that you know that deep down in your heart you really love Daria. So why don't you tell her that next time you see her?"

"But I don't know if there's going to be a next time," continued Trent. "Most of Tokyo's been bombed out. I don't know if she's alive or not."

Jane could see that tears were beginning to roll down Trent's usually calm face. Jesse went up to him.

"There, there, man," Jesse said. "Things are going to be OK."

Trent finally broke down and admitted it: "Man, I really love Daria! If she's gone, I don't know what I'll do with myself!"

Jake and Helen couldn't help but hear that; they were a few feet away. They both approached him.

"You know, Trent," Jake began, "You'd probably think I should be telling you right now to stay away from my daughter. But right now, I'm beginning to see things in a different perspective. Major calamities like this do that to people. Heck, I always wanted to front my own rock and roll band, but then my father sent me away to military school. That was such a bummer."

"Besides," Helen added, "I know you mother and father are pretty good folks, even if your mother likes to listen to rap music when she's making her pottery. Besides, Daria says you have a pretty good band. Now if you had some good management and some good legal representation, you'd be all set."

"You're not making a pitch to hire you as my lawyer, are you, Mrs. Morgendorffer?," Trent said.

"Not necessarily," answered Helen; "but it wouldn't hurt."

It was then that Ms. Barch and Ami returned with Quinn.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer," Ami said, "I believe this is your daughter."

Quinn saw them and ran up to them, crying. They both hugged her.

"Oh, Mom! Dad! It was just horrible! Horrible!," she sobbed.

"I know, dear, I know," Helen said.

Mr. DeMartino arrived. "I see you accomplished your mission," he said to Ms. Barch and Ami.

"Yes we did," Ms. Barch said, "and we asked for a female sheriff to arrest those two scumbags Beavis and Butt-Head."

"Still hostile towards men, I see," Mr. DeMartino said.

"Just remember who it was who kicked your ass after you cut out sports and clubs from the yearbook!," Ms. Barch warned.

"Let's go home now, Mom, Dad," Quinn said. "I want to get some rest."

"Very well," Mr. DeMartino said. "Ms. Barch, Ami, Jane, you will accompany them to their house and guard the premises.

"You wouldn't mind if Jesse and I went along too?," Trent said.

"At this point, I don't care," Mr. DeMartino said resignedly. "As long as you help protect Quinn until we finally stop the militia."

Thus Quinn, Jake, Helen, Jane, Trent and Jesse left for the Morgendorffers' house.

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Beavis and Butt-Head were in a sheriff's department cruiser, being taken to the county jail. They were handcuffed and in the back seat, as was standard procedure. They were trying to get out of their handcuffs.

"Let us out of these! We didn't do anything!," Beavis said.

"And I supposed the body of Tom Anderson in the county morgue is still alive," the female sheriff's deputy replied. "You boys are going to get the needle for this!"

"Uh, don't you mean the chair?," Butt-Head asked.

"No, I mean the needle. They use lethal injection now in this state."

"The needle! The needle! THE NEEDLE!!!!!!!!!! THE NEEDLE!!!!!!!!!!," Beavis said over and over again.

The deputy grabbed her can of mace and sprayed it on Beavis, who went "AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" as the stuff stung his eyes like a thousand devils.

"Shut up, the both of you, right now!," the deputy roared.

The car stopped at a red light. Beavis said, "I've gotta take a whiz!"

"You'll get a chance to go to the bathroom once we get to the jail," the deputy said.

"But I gotta go now!," Beavis said.

"All right, all right, " the deputy said, "I'll pull over by those bushes and you can go there. But no funny stuff, or I'll shoot you ass!"

They pulled over, and the deputy took Beavis to the bushes. She undid the handcuffs. Beavis went and relieved himself. But when the deputy came to put the cuffs back on him, he was nowhere to be found.

"Beavis, you come back here!," the deputy said.

Beavis suddenly leapt out of nowhere, grabbed the mace from her, and sprayed it in her face. She was sent howling as Beavis got into the cruiser and drove off.

"Hey, great going, Beavis!," Butt-Head said.

"Yeah, now we're going back to Lawndale and we're going to pork that bitch Quinn for what she did to us!," replied Beavis.

"Hey, Beavis," asked Butt-Head, "are you going to get me out of these cuffs?"

"I will soon, asswipe!," shot back Beavis. "Just don't go postal on me!"

They drove in excess of 120 MPH as they headed for Lawndale.

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The Lawndale Militia's trial against the city government was continuing. Already quite a few accusations--most of them groundless--were made. The city judge, for instance, was accused of taking bribes from the Sierra Club so that he could rule in favor of them in a lawsuit brought up by a property rights group in regard to conservation easements at a park that had a known endangered species of butterfly. The city council was accused of giving taxpayers' money to a private company that was developing an industrial park in the northwest corner of town. In one outrageous charge, the mayor was accused of bringing welfare recipients from New York City in to Lawndale so as to drive down property values, and was even accused of trying to turn over law enforcement to the UN Peacekeeping Forces. But it was only to get even more ridiculous.

Anthony had the mayor on the witness stand. He was now saving his best for last:

"Mr. Mayor, is it not true that as recently as this past August that you were having an affair with a certain Ms. Quinn Morgendorffer, whose only 14 years old, for God's sakes?"

"That is not true!," the mayor said. "I only saw the person in question once. She and the others in her organization, the Lawndale High School Fashion Club approached me about selling raffle tickets door to door during Halloween weekend. I did not have an affair with her, and that did not affect my decision to grant the permit."

"I have this picture that proves otherwise, Mr. Mayor," Anthony said. He held up a photo of him and Quinn at some restaurant.

"That picture is being taken out of context," the mayor said. "We were discussing the proposed permit and the route they were going to take through town. You're blowing this all out of proportion!"

"I've heard enough from you!," Anthony said. "I now hereby order the jury to deliberate this case! Until they reach a verdict, we stand at recess!" He banged the gavel and the jury retired to deliberate.

Somehow, the verdict was known in advance, but they wanted to have the illusion that they were haggling over it for some time. Therefore, it took three hours of debate before they stopped for the night. By the morning, the fate of the city government would be known.

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Usagi was feeling better now. She got up in a sitting position and was being briefed on the situation as it now stood.

"Right now," Luna said, "everything looks bleak. Every ward in Tokyo has at least 45% damage. Ruptured gas mains are causing even more fires than the actual bombings. Many SDF and American military bases have been bombed as well. Even now the President of the United States is considering sending in troops to stop the attacks, but he's facing considerable opposition from Congress. Our Prime Minister is holding an emergency Cabinet meeting even as we speak. The situation is desperate."

Matters were not helped when NHK presented this special bulletin:

"This just in from Lawndale, USA. A trial is being held by the Lawndale Militia against the government of that city. The government's been accused of bribery, corruption, embezzlement and a litany of other charges. The jury is supposed to render its verdict in the morning. NHK will update this situation when we receive more information."

Daria realized that she had to get back to Lawndale--and fast.

Data 12: A Desperate Teleportation

aria approached Usagi. "Usagi, are you feeling OK now?," she asked.

"I think so," replied Usagi. "Why?"

Daria answered, "I need to get back to Lawndale right away. Things are getting out of hand there, and I'm the only one who can fix it up."

"I do have a new power that I was given recently," replied Usagi; "it's the Moon Teleportation Power. That might get you there quickly."

"Usagi," Luna warned, "you're still not completely recovered from your injuries. You need to get some rest."

"Right now, Daria's family might be in danger, and we've got to help her," Usagi said. "Besides, we don't know if Ami survived the crash or not. We could at least see if she's all right."

Luna by now realized that it was useless to argue with Usagi when she was determined to do it her way.

"Very well," Luna said, "but don't overdo it. You lost a lot of energy when you were shot down."

Gen. Torymura overhead what was said. "If you're going to go back, don't stay too long, since Yoriko could be back at any moment."

"We won't be gone long. You have my word," Daria said.

Usagi got up and grabbed her old Moon Scepter with the Silver Imperium Crystal in it. "Grab onto the handle of the scepter with me," Usagi said. "Once I say 'MOON TELEPORTATION ACTIVATION!!!!!!!!!!,' we'll simultaneously be sent over to where you want to go. The Silver Imperium Crystal will read your thoughts and take you to your destination."

"Wouldn't it be just easier to use the three sliders Scotty always used on the transporter on Star Trek?," Daria replied.

"Daria, please spare me your flippant attitude right now!," said Usagi in disgust.

Usagi and Daria grabbed onto the Moon Scepter. It began to glow. Usagi got an image in her mind as to where Daria needed to go.

"All right, here goes nothing!," Usagi said. "MOON TELEPORTATION ACTIVATION!!!!!!!!!!"

Almost at once, it seemed that Usagi and Daria vanished in a beam of light.

"Good luck, Usako, Daria," Mamoru said to himself. "I think you will need it."

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Almost instantaneously, Usagi and Daria arrived in Lawndale.

"So this is Lawndale," Usagi said.

"Yep, it's my little slice of Hell," Daria said.

"Why is everything so quiet?," Usagi wanted to know.

Suddenly, two Lawndale Militia soldiers saw them.

"KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!," one of the soldiers screamed.

The other soldier fired his AK-47 at them.

"Not exactly the kind of welcome you usually get here," Daria stated, "but right now, my best advice to you is to run like Hell."

They both did. The soldiers pursued them. Suddenly, someone jumped out of nowhere and threw a grenade at them, blowing them up to pieces.

"Take that, bastards! See you in Hell!," the young lady screeched. She looked rather bizarre with her heavy eyeliner and was obviously drunk.

"Who are you?," Usagi asked.

"That's Andrea, our resident Goth girl. You know, she's into Marilyn Manson and all that," Daria replied.

"Hey, Daria," asked Andrea, "when did you join the Navy? And who's the ponytailed wuss with you?"

"I beg your pardon," Usagi said.

"I didn't join they Navy, Andrea," Daria said. "It's supposed to be a Japanese schoolgirl's uniform, except that this is a superheroine's outfit. Andrea, this is Sailor Moon, and I'm supposed to be Sailor Mercury. I came over here to stop the Lawndale Militia from destroying our town."

"Well," Andrea said, "Mr. DeMartino has organized a resistance unit and we're fighting back. Not only that, those two dolts Beavis and Butt-Head went after your sister."

"They did?," asked Daria.

"Luckily, Ms. Barch and Ami rescued her," replied Andrea.

"When you said Ami," Sailor Moon said, "did you mean Mizuno Ami? She's a friend of mine. She's kind of short with short black hair in a bob cut."

"Yeah," admitted Andrea, "that's what she looks like."

"Where is she?," Sailor Moon asked her.

"She's over at Daria's place," replied Andrea. "She went with her parents, Trent and Jane Lane, Jesse Moreno and Ms. Barch to protect Quinn in case Beavis and Butt-Head attack again."

"We're there, dude," Daria said.

"Huh?," Sailor Moon asked.

"That's a phrase I picked up from those two," Daria added.

They left right away for Daria's house.

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Quinn was in the shower at her house. For the first time, she was real worried for her sister. She didn't know if she was all right. "If she makes out all right from all this, I promise I won't deny that she's my sister ever again," she was saying to herself.

Unknown to her, though, was at that very moment, Beavis and Butt-Head were pulling right up to her house. They got out of the sheriff's cruiser that they had commandeered. They got out and kicked in the door.

"WHERE'S QUINN?!?!?!?!?!," Butt-Head roared.

Ms. Barch heard what was going on, and took her rifle, firing at them.

"Get out and stay out!," she yelled.

However, Beavis leapt right back inside and sprayed her with Mace. She was sent yelping in agony.

"Get out of our way, bitch," Beavis roared. Everyone else heard what was going on and raced to the door. Butt-Head was running up the stairs with Jake pursuing him.

"Hey, you! Get out out my house right now!," Jake yelled.

Butt-Head took the billy club that he had taken from the front seat of the sheriff's cruiser and hit Jake over the head with it. Jake fell backwards down the stairs.

"JAKE!!!!!!!!!!," Helen screamed.

Butt-Head went to the bathroom and kicked in the door. Quinn saw what had happened and screamed "NO!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!"

"WE'RE GONNA SCORE WITH YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!," Butt-Head yelled as he dragged her by the hair downstairs. He flung her on the couch.

Beavis maced Jake and Helen, sending them screaming in agony with Ms. Barch. Ami, Jane, Trent and Jesse all ran over to the living room.

"Hold it right where you are!," Ami screamed.

"After we're done porking Quinn, we're gonna pork you, Jane, and Ms. Barch," Beavis said. He then dropped his shorts. Quinn screamed, "SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!" Beavis was about to drop his briefs when someone yelled, "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!"

Beavis and Butt-Head turned around and saw Sailor Moon, Daria and Andrea standing in the front doorway. Sailor Moon began her introductory speech:

"I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! In place of the Moon, I will punish you!"

Butt-Head stood there speechless for a second. Then he said, "WHOA!!!!!!!!!! Beavis, look who's here!"

Beavis saw who it was, then they began their chant of "DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!!!!!!" It went on for five minutes.

"How dare you interrupt me when I'm giving my introductory speech!," Sailor Moon said.

"Sailor Moon, those two are Beavis and Butt-Head," Daria said. " I know those two from when I used to live in Highland. They're two stupid, trouble-making jerks. They make the students at Lawndale High look good. I'll take care of this."

Daria went up to them and said, "Beavis and Butt-Head, if you rape my sister, I swear to God I will not rest until I hunt you down, rip your heatrs out, cook them on a skillet and make you eat them."

Beavis said, "Fuck you, Diarrhea!" and dropped his briefs. "I've got a king-sized stiffie!"

"With you, you need an electron microscope to see it!," Daria said, then grabbed Beavis by the scruff of his neck and flung him across the room.

Butt-Head ran up to Sailor Moon, ripped her seirafuku blouse in half and had her in a chokehold. "You're going to let us go with Quinn or I'll kill Sailor Moon here!"

Ami knew that her best friend was in danger. But what could she do?

Beavis got up, grabbed Quinn violently from the couch and was taking her down the hallway. Jane grabbed a nearby fire poker and ran down the hall. She hit Beavis over the head with it. Quinn ran away, screaming.

"RUN, QUINN!!!!!!!!!!," Jane yelled. Quinn ran down the street, not caring that she was stark raving naked.

"You'll pay for that, you bitch!," Beavis said, slapping Jane across the face.

Helen was the first to recover from her macing. She got up and ran towards Beavis.

"Get out of my house now!," she yelled.

Beavis responded by slapping her across the face.

For Daria, this was too much. She ran up to Beavis and kicked him and Butt-Head in the testicles. They were sent howling. Sailor Moon broke free.

"SAILOR MOON KICK!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

She kicked them in the testicles as well. For good measure, Andrea kicked them in the testicles herself.

Trent and Jesse sucker punched them from behind. Ami then grabbed a vase and broke it over Beavis' head. He turned around and hit her.

Jake and Ms. Barch got up now. Ms. Barch knew she had to act quickly.

Beavis got spastic and then went "AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREAT CORNHULIO!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE MADE ME ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!" He and Butt-Head ran to the kitchen and grabbed knives, and ran, now completely deranged, right toward Daria.

"DARIA!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! THEY'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!," Trent said.

Beavis grabbed Daria by the collar of her seirafuku and was going to plunge the knife into her heart when Ms. Barch took her rifle and blew his brains out. The brains were splattered all over the place.

"YOU KILLED BEAVIS, YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!," Butt-Head yelled and ran to her. Ms. Barch blew out his brains as well.

Both bodies twitched for a few seconds, then stopped. It was all over.

Daria ran down the street and caught up with Quinn. She was balled up in a fetal position, crying.

"Quinn, it's over now," said Daria; "Ms. Barch killed Beavis and Butt-Head. They won't harm you anymore." Daria took Quinn in her arms, and hugger her, letting Quinn cry on her shoulder. It didn't matter if she was splattered with brains on her outfit.

"Daria, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad that you showed up," Quinn sobbed. "I'm very lucky to have a big sister like you. I'll never deny that we're sisters ever again, even if I get drubbed out of the Fashion Club!" Quinn broke down and cried. Daria patted her on the back. Daria smiled to herself. The others went up to her.

"Daria, you're OK!," Trent said.

"Trent, what's going on here?," asked Daria.

Trent got closer to her and said:

"It's terrible, Daria. The Lawndale Militia has taken over the town. They're trying the city government in a moot court. Then there was the plane crash, and we found Ami here. Then, of course, Beavis and Butt-Head tried to rape Quinn. It's all been so horrible. We're happy to have you back. And, Daria. . ."

"Yes, Trent?," she aksed.

Trent went up to her and said, "I love you. I always felt it, but until now I never had the courage to say it. After seeing you being willing to sacrifice your life to save your family, it has given me the courage to tell you how I feel." They then French kissed.

"EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! They're kissing!," Quinn said.

"AWWWWWWWWWW, isn't that sweet?," Helen said. Jane just nodded her approval. She knew all along how those two felt for each other, and somehow she felt vindicated that she played a part as matchmaker in this affair. Jesse got a bit emotional. "It's all too beautiful, man!," he said.

Sailor Moon went up to Ami and said, "Ami, thank Queen Serenity that you're all right!"

"I've had a rough go of it, that's for sure!," Ami replied.

"I've called the county sheriff's department, since the police are incapacitated right now," Ms. Barch said. "The coroner is going to take those two scumbags away. I hate all men! They're all cheaters and scumbags!"

"I'm not a scumbag or a cheater!," Jake said.

"Who asked you, you man!," Ms. Barch roared.

"What's been happening in Tokyo?," Ami said.

"It's not all good," Usagi said grimly. "The NIRAA has stolen an experimental jet fighter called the Neo-Zero and has all but bombed Tokyo to rubble. Rei's grandfather died when they bombed Sendai Hill Shrine. Things are getting desperate over there. What about here?"

"Well," Ami said, "you heard it from Trent. A right-wing militia group has seized control here. It's a war zone here."

"Daria," Jane asked, "how did you get mixed up in all this?"

Daria answereed her:

"Ami asked me to take her place as Sailor Mercury when she got accepted for her pre-med studies in Germany. Then the Neo-Zero affair broke out, and I got involved in it big time. It hasn't been a bowl of cherries, to say the least."

Daria then went to Sailor Moon and Ami. "I guess introductions are in order now. Sailor Moon, Ami, I want you to meet my parents Jake and Helen Morgendorffer, my sister Quinn, my best friend Jane Lane, her brother and my boyfriend Trent, his friend Jesse Moreno, my science teacher Janet Barch, and Andrea, our local Goth girl. Everyone, this is Sailor Moon, and her friend Mizuno Ami."

Everyone shook hands with each other.

"We've got our work cut out for us here and back in Japan!," Sailor Moon said. "We've got to free Lawndale, then stop the NIRAA back in Japan!"

Everyone vowed that they'd help each other resolve both crises. They then set out to return to the Free Lawndaler's base camp.

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The jury had reached a verdict in the trial. They filed in. Anthony asked the foreman if they had reached a verdict.

"We have, Your Honor," the foreman said. "We find all the defendants guilty of all the charges against them."

"Very well," Anthony said. "You are all hereby sentenced to be executed by firing squad at the middle of Town Park at noon. This court is adjourned!"

The guards dragged the guilty parties away to be executed. Unless something happened soon, all would be lost.

Data 13: Crush! Kill! Destroy!, or The Battle of Lawndale

okyo looked like it had never been rebuilt from either the American bombings of 1945 or the 1923 Kanto Earthquake. Corpses were everywhere, with rats picking them clean to the bones. Fires were still raging out of control. And about 15,000 feet above the carnage was the reason why all this was happening: The Mitsubishi Neo-Zero prototype.

Yoriko was on what she was hoping would be her final bombing run. One of the three drop tanks had been replaced by a sarin "Super Bomb" that she intended to drop on the Imperial Palace itself. If the Imperial Family was killed, the NIRAA would then step in unopposed as the rulers of Japan.

"Fifty-three years of waiting will soon come to an end!," Yoriko said. Right now her CD player had Soundgarden's Superunknown CD in it and it was playing "Black Hole Sun":

"In my eyes

Indisposed

In disguise

As no one knows

Hides the face

Lies the snake

The Sun

In my disgrace

Boiling heat

Summer stench

'Neath the black

The sky looks dead

Call my name

Through the cream

And I'll hear you

Scream again

Black Hole Sun

Won't you come

And wash away the rain

Black hole sun

Won't you come?

Won't you come?"

Somehow, if they were playing this song right now in the middle of Tokyo with the black hole sun sucking up everything, it would have been sickeningly appropriate. Yoriko set her sights on making a few more bombings.

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Back at SDF HQ, Gen. Torymura and Ryu were trying to use their undermanned forces as best as they can. A considerable amount of casualties had been rendered on Ground, Sea and Air SDF units, as well as JSIB agents and a considerable amount of USA, USN, USMC and USAF troops. Urgent messages had been forwarded to the American, French, Russian and Taiwanese presidents as well as the Canadian, British, German, Italian and even the Chinese prime ministers. The South Korean president and the North Korean premier--who rarely agreed on anything--had agreed to jointly defend their respective nations if the crisis spilled into their area. Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Mynamar, Thailand, India, Nepal, Bhutan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Indonesia, the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, Australia and all the various Oceanic nations had all declared states of emergency. The UN Security Council was meeting in emergency session. The American Congress was also meeting in emergency session, as well as the British, Canadian, French and Russian parliaments. The situation was teetering on the edge of World War III.

"Never before have I seen this nation in crisis like this," Gen. Torymura said. "We may not survive this dark night of despair."

Tuxedo Mask went to him and said, "General, they always say that it's darkest before the dawn. The Sailor Senshi and I have fought against worse odds than this and prevailed. Many a time it seemed that the entire planet would fall to the forces of evil, but we prevailed. This is not the time to despair."

Gen. Torymura then realized he did have an ace in the hole. He ordered a Ground SDF private to approach him at once.

"Private," Gen. Torymura said as he took out a pen and paper, "Call this number and get in touch with a Mr. Hamada Ieyasu. He may be our nation's last hope."

"Right away, Sir!," the private said, saluted, and proceeded to the nearest phone.

Gen. Torymura turned to Tuxedo Mask.

"Mr. Chiba," he began to say, "There has been a secret I have been keeping to myself for fifteen years, and if I don't survive this, I want it to be known now. This situation has brought this to the surface, and now I think it should be made public. I guess you remember that incident where the Soviet MiG shot down the KAL flight that had wandered into Soviet airspace."

Mamoru replied, "I think we all do, General."

Gen. Torymura continued:

"I was a recently commissioned Flight Lieutenant back in 1983 and was in charge of a squadron near Sapporo, not too far from where the incident occurred. We were on routine patrol and noticed the two aircraft near our position. We went to investigate and saw the whole incident happen. We could not retaliate due to the Article 9 prohibitions. Later on, I saw two names on that list: my sister Torymura Keiko and my brother-in-law Kino Jimmu. If I had only had done something then, they would still be alive now. The board of inquiry that investigated the affair cleared my squadron from negligence, but I still feel I have moral responsibility for what happened."

"Did your sister and brother-in-law have any children?," asked Mamoru.

"They had one daughter, Makoto," replied Gen. Torymura.

Tuxedo Mask stood there with his mouth wide open.

"Do you know her, Mr. Chiba?, asked Gen. Torymura.

Tuxedo Mask answered, "Yes, I do." He ran to Sailor Jupiter and brought her over.

"What's the meaning of this, Mamoru?," she asked.

"Gen. Torymura," Mamoru said, "tell Makoto what you told me."

"Makoto, I am your uncle," Gen. Torymura began; "I was on patrol that day when your parents died in the Soviet attack on the KAL aircraft and saw what happened. I know I should have done something, but we were bound by our oath to observe Article 9 at all times. I understand if you can't find any room in your heart to forgive me."

Makoto, however, suddenly flung her arms open, embraced her uncle and cried.

"If I only knew sooner that I had living relatives!," Makoto cried.

"Now you have a family again," replied Gen. Torymura. "When this is all over, you will meet your aunt and your two cousins. One, a boy, is a senior at Shinjuku Boys' Academy; the other, a woman, is a sophomore at Tokyo University majoring in economics. You can move in with us and we'll take care of you. You don't have to be lonely anymore."

The other Sailor Senshi had gathered around to witness this reunion.

"Right now," Rei said, "I am so happy for you. It is ironic that the same event that robbed me of my family has restored yours. My blessings go with you, Mako-chan."

After the reunion, Tuxedo Mask was ready to get back to business.

"OK, as acting leader in Usagi's absence, we've got to prepare for the worst. All of the Sailor Senshi are to go to the Imperial Palace. You are to defend it at all costs. I will wait here for Usagi's return with Daria. Is that understood? Since neither Ami or Daria are here, I'm naming you as field commander, Rei. Now, move out and protect the Emperor. As it was said during the Meiji Restoration, let it be said now: 'Honor the Emperor and expel the barbarians.'"

The Sailor Senshi moved out.

"You heard the man, people," Gen. Torymura said to the ragtag remnants of the SDF, "Move it! The Emperor is to be protected at all costs! Go now and protect our democratic way of life, even knowing that if your life is snuffed as the flower of the cherry blossom, at least you will go to wherever fate sends you in peace with yourselves that you have defended Emperor, government and country. If you are willing to sacrifice your lives, do it to protect your families, to protect our civilian government, to protect all that we value in our nation. BANZAI!!!!!!!!!! BANZAI!!!!!!!!!! BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!"

With that, the troops cheered "BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!" They then donned a new headband. It was red with a depiction of the Japanese flag on it. The kanakaji characters on it said: "To protect freedom and democracy." All somehow knew that if lives were to be sacrificed this time, as of the Kamikaze pilots of the previous conflict, at least they were doing this now to protect a free, democratic Japan that was committed to peace, not to appease militarists who were land hungry and had cowed their Emperor into silent assent. Why many American veterans still held the Showa Emperor responsible for what happened was puzzling; did he not, after all, secretly disagree with almost all of their actions? Even if their Emperor was not a god, at least he now stood as a champion of decency, order and democracy against those who would plunge all of Asia into turmoil again. Now they realized what had went wrong for the past fifty-three years. Mistakes had to be admitted and repaired. After that, Japan had to strive better to fit into the international community. Good relations had to be made with those it had once vanquished. Perhaps someday, after the Communist regime in Beijing collapsed--and it was an article of faith that it would someday--and the democratic government in Taipei had taken over, perhaps then both nations would encourage the rest of East Asia and Southeast Asia to form some sort of NATO-like organization to defend themselves from threats like this. Peace was the way of the future. Even someday, perhaps Russia and other former Soviet nations would join their old Warsaw Pact allies in NATO as a united front for peace. The threat was no longer from major nations like Russia or China, but from rogue states like Iraq, Libya and Iran, and terrorist groups like the NIRAA, Islamic Jihad and the IRA.

Since the war, patriotism did not count for much in Japan, which was committed to international peace and friendship. But now it was realized that one could still find pride in one's nation and still commit that nation to peace and prosperity to all nations. In this day and age, would not a nation's great achievements be shared by all? For over a century and a half Japan stood as the one nation in what the rest of the world called the "Third World" as a model for modernization and development. But it had been reluctant to share that knowledge, and others afraid of them. Now, if it survives this calamity, it would find a new purpose, a new meaning for itself. The best patriotism now was to spread the gospel of success, prosperity and modernization to those who were still in the dark. It did not have to be by bullets or napalm, but by technology and progress. Thus, with this new sense of purpose the SDF troops find themselves singing "Kimigayo," the national anthem. This song essentially was sung only at the start of sumo wrestling tournaments; it wasn't even played at the start of baseball games (team fight songs being played instead). Thus a chorus of voices found new meaning to those old words:

"Kimigayo wa, Chiyo ni

Yachiyo ni Sazare ishi no, Iwao to nari te

Koke no musu made."

Translated into English, the words ran:

"May thy peaceful reign last long!

May it last for thousands of years,

Until this tiny stone will grow into a massive rock

And the moss will cover it all deep and thick."

The SDF was preparing to take back their nation from those who were determined to destroy it, but this time, they were doing it for a civilian government, dedicated to the precepts of democracy and peace.

Gen. Torymura and Ryu stood there, seeing the troops leaving.

"Are we witnessing the start of a new era for Japan, or the beginning of the end?," Ryu said.

"A few years ago," began Gen. Torymura, "I saw a film from anime master Oshii Mamoru. It was called 'Patlabor 2: The Movie.' In the film, a madman tried to stage a military coup and take over Japan, but the Special Vehicles Section 2 stopped them. I can only hope that the SDF will be able to stop them, for if they fail, we've lost this war."

Those thought remained with him even as the last of the troops left.

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Lawndale City Park was jammed with people. Most of them were members of the Lawndale Militia, but there were some curiosity seekers as well. The mayor, city council and city judge were all bound and gagged and lined up for the firing squad to shoot at them. Anthony got in front of them and made this declaration:

"As of this moment, I declare myself to be dictator of the city. As my first decree, I declare martial law and a curfew from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM everyday until further notice. All laws will be promulgated by me after conferring with my War Council. Anyone who dares defy any laws made by me will be shot right where they are. After this execution is carried out, everyone is to go back to their homes."

Anthony got out of the way. The firing squad then loaded their rifles.

"READY!!!!!!!!!!," Anthony said. The firing squad had their rifles at the ready. "AIM!!!!!!!!!!," Anthony now shouted. They now aimed.

Suddenly, someone screamed "ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!" It was Mr. DeMartino and the Lawndale Militia. They were in hiding in buildings surrounding the park and now charged like madmen, their machine guns blazing.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!," Anthony screamed. "Not now! Not at my moment of triumph!"

Sailor Moon, in Eternal Mode, now swooped out of the skies like a fighter craft. She had a machine gun, and was firing it like crazy. The Lawndale Militia now scattered.

"Don't just stand there," Anthony said to the firing squad, "FIRE!!!!!!!!!!"

But then, two voices yelled out, "SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!" The firing squad was frozen solid. Daria and Ami emerged out of their positions and ran to free the condemned prisoners.

"We've got to retreat, Commander!," Poindexter said. Anthony responded by taking his .45 Magnum and blowing Poindexter's brains out.

"Anyone who retreats will be shot!," he yelled.

"So, you're the man who's caused all this misery!," Sailor Moon said. "I won't allow you to continue! I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, Princess of the Moon Kingdom, future Queen of Crystal Tokyo, champion of love and justice, and your worst nightmare! In place of the Moon, I will punish you!"

"I won't let you stop me when I'm this close to fulfilling my dreams!," Anthony yelled. With that, he grabbed a bazooka and fired it right at Sailor Moon. She flew out of the way as the rocket hit a nearby truck. Anthony then fired another rocket, then another, and another, causing Sailor Moon to dodge them like crazy.

"You can't keep this up forever, you know!," Anthony said.

Sailor Moon knew he was right. She was beginning to tire. Daria knew that something had to be done. The National Guard troops that Mr. DeMartino contacted wouldn't arrive for two hours yet, and they had to hold the Lawndale Militia at bay until then. All seemed hopeless until Ami came up with an idea.

"Daria, I'll try to draw some of that fire from Usagi," she said. "You go and free the prisoners."

Daria ran to the prisoners and undid their binds. "Run, get out of here!," she yelled. They ran to safety.

Ami was beginning to draw Anthony's fire.

"Save yourself, Ami! I've got to stop him!," Usagi yelled.

"You're our leader!," Ami said. "I'm sworn to protect you at all costs!"

Daria then thought up of a plan of her own. She stood right in front of Anthony, who was about to fire another rocket from the bazooka.

"SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

Suddenly, the front end of the bazooka was frozen solid. Anthony had just pressed the trigger, and not being a fool, flung the thing out of the way as the rocket hit the ice and exploded the weapon to atoms.

"WE'LL BE BACK!!!!!!!!!!," he roared, and then fled with the others.

For now, the Free Lawndalers had retaken the downtown area.

"That was pretty brave of you to do that," Sailor Moon said.

"I just had to do what I had to do," Daria replied.

Mr. DeMartino gathered the Free Lawndalers around him and said:

"We may have won control of the downtown area, but the enemy still has control of the outside areas. We have to prepare ourselves for another attack."

Daria realized that the next battle will either mean the liberation of Lawndale or the beginning of a dark age not just for Lawndale, but for the rest of the nation as well.

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Back at the Lawndale Gun Club, Anthony now was trying to rally the troops:

"We have suffered a minor setback. But now it's time to finish the job we started. I'm going to authorize all of you to use the sarin grenades that I managed to acquire from some El Salvadoran death squads. You are hereby authorized to use these weapons in any means necessary to finally obliterate the enemy. Lawndale will be ours!"

Everyone yelled "DEATH TO THE ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!"

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Yoriko was now flying over Yokohama, the port that served Tokyo. She had bombed many critical port facilities and factories. Flames were everywhere. almost every critical military base that could be of help was obliterated. Yoriko was now heading for Tokyo proper and the Imperial Palace.

"Soon, the NIRAA will triumph!," she said.

Yoriko was in a celebratory mood, so she cranked up Black Monk Time again; she was playing "Complication." Gary Burger's savage guitar riffs lead into his angst-driven vocals:

"Complication!

Complication!

Constipation!

People cry (Complication!),

People die for you!

People kill (Complication!),

People will for you!

People run (Complication!),

Ain't it fun for you!

People go (Complication!)

To their deaths for you!

People cry (People cry!),

People die for you (People die for you!)!

People cry (People kill!),

People die for you (Yeah, they will for you!)!

People cry (People run!),

People die for you (Yeah, ain't it fun for you!)!

People cry (People go!),

People die for you (To their deaths for you!)!"

Down below, Tokyo was not sharing Yoriko's jubilation. Against the wishes of his advisors, Emperor Akihito decided to tour the city. He remembered vividly when his father, the Showa Emperor, toured the bombed-out areas of Tokyo in World War II in a somewhat similar fashion; however, Hirohito was wearing his military uniform at that time. Akihito insisted on wearing a plaid shirt, leather jacket, casual slacks and a pair of work boots. He insisted on riding in a government motorpool vehicle instead of either his limousine or an SDF transport as the Cabinet suggested; the latter, he said, would have been too invocative of when his father rode on his white charger when reviewing the troops. He even resisted the suggestion of wearing a Ground SDF helmet; he wore a construction worker's helmet instead. He wanted to prove that he was suffering with the people.

The vehicle chosen was rather plain; a dark blue Nissan Sentra that save for the kanakaji markings indicating that it was a "Government of Japan Motor Pool Vehicle" and the national flag and Imperial Standard on the front fenders, would have passed for any vehicle in rush hour. Just in case, an SDF troop transport followed at a discrete distance. Inside the SDF transport were the Sailor Senshi.

The bureaucrat driving the Sentra saw a bombed-out elementary school, with National Police, SDF troops, EMS technicians and firefighters sifting through the rubble.

"Stop here," Akihito said.

The car screeched to a halt. Everyone clambered out of their vehicles. The SDF and Mobile Unit troops surrounded the area with the Sailor Senshi staying close to him. The destruction was horrific. The entire front facade was down, exposing the classrooms. The rescue crews didn't even pause to see who was approaching. However, the crew chief did notice.

"Your Imperial Majesty," began the crew chief, "what brings you here?"

"I want to help," was Akihito's reply.

He approached the rubble and began to help clear it. The stench of death was hanging in the air, but there was the head of state of Japan, standing amidst all the chaos, helping to save lives. In earlier times, this would have been viewed as the act of a god saving his people, but now it was viewed as a mere human, but a compassionate one, not afraid to do his part in restoring order to his nation. Some of the older workers, mainly EMS personnel, who had some memories of times past, stopped and bowed at the sight of their Emperor at work. This was how one showed his concern for the welfare of his people, and not by riding a horse and seeing his armed forces in colorful display.

Soon enough, a girl was found, barely alive. Her brown school sweater, brown skirt and white hat were torn to tatters. An EMS technician began to administer CPR on her. A few minutes later, however, she was dead. The EMS technician closed her eyes and faced away from her. He began to weep, the life drained from his exhausted face.

Sailor Mars found a boy in the rubble. He seemed to be miraculously all right. He was a bit dazed, though.

"Mama?," he said to her as he rubbed his eyes.

That one word caused Sailor Mars to shed a tear. At least he had parents waiting for him; she had no one now. She hugged him, letting the tears flow.

The Emperor surveyed the destruction. The Prime Minister pulled up soon thereafter.

"All of the city is like this, Your Imperial Majesty," he said.

Everywhere, there were flames, smoke, rubble and carnage.

"We have endured enough, and more than enough," was what Akihito finally said.

Another car pulled up, and another bureaucrat appeared.

"It would be best if you returned to the Imperial Palace, Your Imperial Majesty," he said. "There are some reports that you need to look at concerning the damage."

"I will be there shortly," was the Emperor's reply.

His mind was made up. Something had to be done about all this chaos. All were looking at him now for some sign, even if it was symbolic in nature. Anything to rally the people to help their beleaguered government. He got back to his car and the party made its way back to the Imperial Palace.

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Back at SDF HQ, Gen. Torymura received discouraging news. The government was considering surrendering to the NIRAA. Not only that, the American Congress and the American president were deadlocked about a joint resolution backing any UN efforts to send in troops to stop the attacks. Apparently the fears of another Vietnam, another Yugoslavia or another Somalia were hovering over them.

Ryu went to Gen. Torymura and said, "If the government surrenders, the NIRAA will win. That must not come to pass."

Gen. Torymura then asked, "What was that saying your friend Mamoru said, 'It's always darkest before the dawn?'"

Ryu replied, "Yes, that's what he said."

Gen. Torymura then said, "It's time to break the darkness. Go to the Imperial Palace and ask for the Emperor's opinion. If the people listen to him, all may yet not be lost."

"Very well, Sir," said Ryu; he then left with Gov. Nagai and the Solar Warrior.

Gen. Torymura was now alone. After he joined the SDF, he converted to Lutheranism. That wasn't a major handicap in Japan; Christianity was now as much tolerated as Buddhism was before it. Even Empress Michiko was herself a Catholic and had went to a Catholic university; she was the first non-Buddhist and non-Shintoist to marry into the Imperial Family. The Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod--which he belonged to--had made considerable inroads in Japan in recent years. He now knelt and bowed his head in prayer:

"Almighty and merciful God the Father, our nation now stands at a critical crossroads in its history. There are those in this nation who wish to restore the tyranny that had brought untold suffering on countless millions just over half a century ago. If it be Your will, stop these people from their evil intentions and guide our nation to a new and better day. Give to those who the sword of the state is given to the power to quell unrest and trouble. Look with Your mercy over our troops, and if they fall in combat, take them into Your Kingdom as honored war dead. All this I ask of You, the Ruler of this Universe, in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who with You and the Holy Spirit reigns and lives now and forever, Amen."

Gen. Torymura now left the battle to God. That was all he could do now.

Data 14: Corlew's Last Stand

he Lawndale Militia was beginning to move out of its bunker beneath the Lawndale Gun Club. Every soldier was equipped with serin grenades. Somehow, this new offensive seemed to carry with it the air of a suicide mission. As the last soldiers left the compound, Anthony Corlew turned around. He took out a remote control device and pressed the lone red button on it. The entire Lawndale Gun Club complex was blown up via hidden ordnance packs hidden in strategic points around the area. "If I fail in this, there won't be a trace of this facility left so they won't have any evidence against me.," Anthony said to himself. The Lawndale Militia was moving towards the downtown area, perhaps for the last time.

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Downtown Lawndale looked like a tornado had struck it. The Free Lawndalers just had to hang on for another hour until the National Guard arrived. Daria, Usagi, Ami and the others were at the ready. Upchuck, the geeky kid in school, went up to Daria.

"After this is all over, you want to go to my foxhole and make love, not war? ROWR!!!!!!!!!!," Upchuck said to Daria.

"Upchuck, if you don't leave me alone this instant, I'll personally demonstrate on you what Lorena Bobbitt did to John Wayne Bobbitt!," Daria replied. Upchuck got the hint and got away from her.

"This is it, everyone!," Mr. DeMartino said, "This is the battle that will either mean the end of the Lawndale Militia or the beginning of a dark age for this town! We've got to hold on until the National Guard arrives."

Just then, there was a commotion at the edge of town. The Lawndale Militia was arriving! Anthony was at the front of the troops. They had gas masks on, and it looked like they were going to launch a terrifying attack.

"On my signal, fire the sarin bombs!," Anthony said.

The troops got ready to pull the pins on the grenades and throw them. There would be mere seconds to stop the attack before the deadly serin gas would be released.

"Leave this up to me!," Usagi said. She spread her wings and began to fly.

The Militiamen had now pulled the pins. The only thing that separated Death from Lawndale was the safety handles and a mere five seconds. They were ready to throw the grenades.

"THROW AT WILL!!!!!!!!!!," Anthony said.

The grenades were being thrown at a rapid-fire pace. Suddenly, Usagi flew right above them, and waved her Moon Scepter around the general area.

"MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!," shouted Sailor Moon.

The energy hit the grenades and turned them all into harmless dust, which then fell on the attackers.

"GET THEM NOW WHILE WE'VE GOT THE ADVANTAGE!!!!!!!!!!," Mr. DeMartino yelled.

All the Free Lawndalers advanced on the bewildered Militia. The fighting was fierce. Casualties were heavy on both sides, but the superior numbers of the Free Lawndalers was beginning to tell. Soon, one of the Militiamen was yelling, "Everyone for himself, and the Devil take the hindmost!" Suddenly, Anthony saw his support dissipating.

"Come back here and fight, or I'll shoot every last one of you!," Anthony said. But it was no use. He was all alone now.

"Give yourself up," Daria said. "The National Guard will be here soon, and they're going to restore law and order here."

"NEVER!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER SUBMIT TO JACK-BOOTED THUGS LIKE THEM!!!!!!!!!!," Anthony roared and fled to St. Eligus' Presbyterian Church, which had a tall bell tower. Daria, Usagi, Ami, Jane, Trent and Jesse were in hot pursuit.

Anthony got there first, and ran up the stairs, first jimmying the door so it wouldn't open. Daria got there soon after.

"The door's been jimmied closed. I can't open it," she said.

"Stand back!," Usagi said; she then shouted, "SAILOR MOON KICK!!!!!!!!!!"

The door was kicked into splinters. She and the others ran up the stairs to the top of the bell tower. Anthony was there, armed with an AK-47, some white phosphorus grenades and a Bowie knife.

"STAND BACK!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL IF YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!!!," he yelled.

Sailor Moon stood in front of everyone else and said:

"You evil man! Trying to subvert the very nation and government you claim to be saving! I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! In place of the Moon, you're punished!"

"You're not in Tokyo anymore, you Jap bitch!," Anthony said, and flung his Bowie knife right at Usagi.

Daria tugged on a rope, causing a bell to ring and strike the knife out of harm's way.

Daria now stared at him.

"Why are you waging this war for?," she asked.

Anthony replied, "To bring back constitutional government."

Daria responded, "Then why do you want to establish a dictatorship that is the complete antithesis of everything that the Founding Fathers fought for in the Constitution? About sixty years ago, another group existed that blamed their nation's problems on minority groups and a so-called decadent government. They eventually got into power and killed many who opposed them. They were called the Nazis. Groups like yours keep saying that the letter of the Constitution must be obeyed, but you violate its spirit by trying to deny rights to minorities and others who disagree with you. Besides, if you really take over this country, what is to stop the same groups you persecute from forming their own terrorist organizations like the Black Panthers and the FALN? Groups like yours forget that violence only brings on more violence. Your vision of the Americana Dream is everyone else's nightmare, and I won't allow you to bring that to reality."

"Then you are a traitor!," yelled Anthony.

"No, you're the traitor, Mr. Corlew," Daria replied.

Anthony screamed "DIE, TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!!" and lunged for the Bowie knife. Daria got there as well and a fierce struggle began. They were rolling around the floor, getting perilously close first to the opening for the ropes, then to the edge of the tower. Punches were exchanged. Blood was spilled. Usagi and the others stood there helplessly. Daria knocked the knife out of Anthony's hand. Anthony then locked Daria in a chokehold and threw her up against the ledge.

"You can't stop us all! There's too many like us all over the country!," Anthony bellowed. "Now I'm going to snap your neck!"

Everyone knew they had to do something now. Trent saw the Bowie knife there on the floor and picked it up.

"I WON'T LET YOU MURDER THE WOMAN I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!," Trent yelled

Anthony turned around to see Trent throw the knife right into his heart. Anthony stood there for a second, then drew the knife out.

"I'll take you with me, you welfare-cheating hippie!," he managed to spurt out. He was ready to fling the knife back at Trent.

Usagi, however, ran up to him.

"SAILOR MOON KICK!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled and kicked him real hard.

The force of the kick threw Anthony clear of the ledge and out of the tower. Anthony yelled "AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" as he plunged the one hundred feet to the ground. The body made a great "SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!" upon impact, then was ran over by a Humvee troop transport, an M1A1 Abrams tank, and a National Guard unit singing Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk":

"Why don't you ask him

If he's going to stay?

Why don't you ask him

If he's going away?/Why don't you tell me

What's going on?

Why don't you tell me

Who's on the phone?

Why don't you ask him

What's going on?

Why don't you ask him

The latest on his throne?

Don't say that you love me!

Just say that you want me!

Don't say that you love me!

Just say that you want me!

Tusk!

Tusk!"

Jesse saw the whole thing and then said, "Trent, this is bumming me out, man!"

Trent replied, "I know, man, but it had to be done."

Jesse added, "My Uncle Phil went the same way."

Daria could now see that the National Guard had arrived.

"This is the National Guard! You are to surrender immediately! You are completely surrounded!," a voice said on a bullhorn.

Daria went to Trent and said, "Thanks for saving my life."

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Daria," Trent said as he embraced her. They French kissed.

Some National Guard soldiers clambered up the tower. One of them asked, "Is everyone all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine now," Jane said. She had this satisfied smile on her face as she saw her brother and Daria continue to kiss. She wasn't going to forget this moment anytime soon.

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Sometime later, the National Guard was beginning to restore order. Trucks full of captured Lawndale Militia soldiers were being routed out of town to Powell Armory, where the unit was stationed. The mayor, along with the commanding officer of the unit, approached Daria and the others as they came down from the bell tower.

"This town--in fact, the whole nation--owes you an immeasurable debt of gratitude, young lady," the commander, who was Col. Thomas Wood, said to Daria.

"No need to thank just me, Colonel," Daria said, "this was a team effort." She threw her arms around Usagi and Ami, then motioned to the rest of her friends.

"Ms. Morgendorffer," the mayor said, "words can't even begin to express our thanks to you and the others who freed our town from this menace."

Mr. DeMartino now approached with Ms. Li. Somehow, the usually pushy Ms. Li was rather downtrodden.

"Ms. Li," Mr. DeMartino said, "I think you owe the good citizens of this city an explanation for the callous disregard for the public's safety and the shameless huckstering of corporate sponsorship and waste of taxpayers' money you made with your silly football game."

"Ms. Li," the mayor said, "I intend to have the Board of Education audit your school's entire finances. I think you have some major explanations to make to myself, the City Council and the State Education Department for all this."

"When I'm eventually vindicated," Ms. Li said, "You're going to pay, DeMartino!"

"I seriously doubt that!," Mr. DeMartino said, his right eye bulging out again. "I've got some very convincing evidence here that will prove my case.. Once they're done with you, you'll never become school superintendent here or anywhere else."

Ms. Li just slunk away.

"As much as we'd like to stand here and collect all this praise," Daria said, "we've still got some outstanding business to deal with in Tokyo, right, everyone?"

"You said it, Daria," Sailor Moon said.

Daria then added, "But, before that, there's just one little detail I want to take care of."

Sailor Moon asked, "What's that?"

Daria replied, "Change my costume from this stupid seirafuku to one of those armored bikinis I keep seeing in your anime back in Japan."

Sailor Moon was aghast in shock; she then said, "Are you kidding me?"

"Hey, you just saved my life; it's the least you could do," shot back Daria.

"OK, OK," Usagi said. She took the Moon Scepter and waved it in front of Daria.

"MOON TRANSFORMATION MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled.

Daria was transformed again, and this time she was wearing a blue armored bikini with blue knee-length boots. On her left breast was the symbol for Mercury.

"Now you're talking," Daria said.

"OK, who's with us?," Sailor Moon wanted to know.

Jane, Trent and Jesse raised their hands. "Count us in, too!," a voice said nearby. It was Mack and Jodie.

"Mack, Jodie, you want to join us as well?," said Daria.

Mack replied, "Hey, I want to help; besides, I want to know if my cousin is OK."

"He is, I assure you," Daria said. "But you're more than welcome to join us anyway."

"OK, as they say in railroading, 'ALL ABOARD!!!!!!!!!!'", Usagi said. "Everyone gather around me." They did so. Sailor Moon help up the Moon Scepter and said, "MOON TELEPORTATION ACTIVATION!!!!!!!!!!" They were gone in a flash.

"Godspeed, Daria Morgendorffer, godspeed," the mayor said.

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Back at Tokyo, Yoriko was so close to the Imperial Palace she could almost sense the impending victory. She was looking forward to this for a long time.

"Soon, Father, you will be vindicated!," she yelled.

Unless a miracle happened, Japan would once again be in the iron grip of tyranny.

Data 15: Sailor Misery Chick Takes to the Skies

en. Torymura and Mamoru were both pacing the floor. The waiting was the hardest part in any battle. One did not know until the troops came back as to who survived and who was injured or dead.

"They've got to be OK!," Mamoru finally said.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light. Usagi, Daria, Ami, Jane, Trent, Jesse, Mack and Jodie had finished their teleportation. Mamoru couldn't hold back his feelings.

"Usako, you're back!," Mamoru said as he ran to her and kissed her. "I was worried." He then took a look at Daria. "Daria, what's with the bikini?"

"Long story, Mamoru," Daria said.

Mamoru noticed that Ami was with them. "Ami, you're alive! What happened?"

"As Daria just said, it's a long story," Ami said.

Daria then turned to her friends and said, "Guys, I want you to meet my friends." She began with Jane and went from left to right. "This is Jane Lane; that's her brother Trent; the guy next to him is Jesse Moreno; the black guy is Michael Jordan Mackenzie; we just call him 'Mack'; and the black women with him is Jodie Landon. Everyone, this is Gen. Torymura Keiichi of the Japan Air Self Defense Force, along with Chiba Mamoru, a/k/a Tuxedo Mask."

Tuxedo Mask extended his hand to Trent and said, "Welcome to Japan. I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Hey, man, it was one strange trip," Trent replied.

"So, how are things here?," Sailor Moon asked.

"Not good," Tuxedo Mask said. "Tokyo has virtually been bombed to rubble. Even now Yoriko and the Neo-Zero are heading for the Imperial Palace. We've got to stop her."

Ryu, Gov. Nagai and the Solar Warrior returned. "You'd better turn on the TV and tune in to NHK," Ryu said. "The Emperor is giving a speech."

The TV was turned on. There on NHK was the entire Imperial Family: Emperor Akihito, Empress Michiko, Crown Prince Naruhito and his wife, Crown Princess Masako, and all the other immediate members, as well as the Prime Minister and members of the Cabinet. In the background was the Imperial Standard, which had the Imperial Mon, or crest, of a yellow sixteen-pedaled chrysanthemum on a red field, along with the Prime Minister's flag of five white chrysanthemums in a pentagon arrangement on a yellow field and the familiar national flag of a red disk on a white filed. The Emperor stood up.

"Citizens of Japan," the Heisei Emperor began, "we stand at a perilous crossroads in our nation's long history. There are forces here in this nation who are trying to destroy over half a century of peaceful, democratic progress. We must not succumb to those who would ruin all the progress that has been made in these past five decades. We have always been a resilient people. When the West visited us nearly a century and a half ago, we realized that we had to adapt and modernize. After the tragic events of the 1920's through the 1940's--where ruthless military leaders led our nation to disaster--we resolved to rebuild, even taking some help from those had been victorious against us. Some would question that assistance, but in the long run, it has been for the better. Are we to go back to the chaos of that terrible time, or are we to embrace the dawn of the new millennium by fighting back against these extremist elements? Therefore, it is the duty of every citizen of this nation to fight back against those who would bring chaos to our nation. We must fight to protect one of the strongest democratic regimes ever known. We must defend our way of life and our peaceful economy. We must stand up and fight back, even if we must resort of sharpened bamboo stick to fend off the enemy and fall to the last man. Now what is at stake here is not territorial expansion or defeating foreign troops; it is the very survival of our nation that is at stake. Go out and fight for what is right, and may all the kami and megami who watch over our nation defend us."

"The Emperor did the right thing, just like his father before him," Gen. Torymura said.

"The people are now on his--and our--side," the Solar Warrior said.

"Now if we could only hear if we'll get any outside help," Usagi said.

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Yoriko heard the entire speech on a portable radio. She was not pleased.

"The Emperor has betrayed us!," Yoriko said. "He will pay!"

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Dr. Vander Helffen had heard the entire speech himself and decided that action had to be taken.

"Yoriko has now become too much of a liability to successfully carry out her mission," he said to some ninja soldiers. "She will now blindly try to fulfill a blood lust. Get my Iron Cross robotic armor and suit me up. I will go to the Imperial Palace myself and take care of matters."

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Back at SDF HQ, a private arrived with a message for Gen. Torymura.

"I'm afraid it's not good," the private said. "The Americans will not be sending any help, nor anyone else for that matter. The American bases have been far too damaged, and popular opinion is against them interfering in what they feel is an internal affair. The Russians, Chinese, British, French and others have expressed similar problems, as well as limited resources and budgetary concerns."

"It looks like we stand alone, then," Gen. Torymura said. "It's time to fall back on my back-up plan. Take Ms. Morgendorffer and her friends to Mr. Hamada's place in Narita."

The private saluted and motioned to the others.

"We have to go someplace. We have an ace in the hole," was all the private said.

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It was a considerable drive given the bombed-out conditions of the roads in Tokyo. They weren't that much better once they entered Chiba-ken. Once they got to Narita, though, they were much improved. Finally, the SDF Humvee reached the residence of the Hamadas. They stepped out of the Humvee and went to the front door. The private rang the doorbell. Ieyasu answered.

"I have been expecting you," he said. "Come in."

They entered the house. It was like most houses in post-war Japan, of somewhat Western style but with some of the touches of traditional Japanese living. As customary, everyone's shoes were removed. Daria could see that for all the modern day conveniences, the house still had tatami mats on the floor; so important were these mats in traditional Japanese architecture that rooms were often measured in how many of these mats could fit in them. Here in the living room--which was one of two rooms done in the traditional Japanese style--stood the tokonoma, or alcove for art; off to the side was the family shrine. There was the TV and the radio, along with a computer and a short-wave CB.

"Pretty impressive place you have here, sir," Daria finally said.

"I am Hamada Ieyasu, but almost everyone here calls me by my nickname I had when I once was working for Toyota's American operations, 'Harry'. As you can tell, I don't let old age slow me down. You see, I just happen to be a special operative for the SDF."

"Huh?," Usagi said in surprise.

"You see, I do have a lot of expertise in these matters. When the militarists took over our nation, I was contacted by a group of concerned Japanese-Americans who were worried about our nation being involved with the Axis powers. I played the role of the good soldier, volunteering to be with the old JIAAF, while at the same time giving information about upcoming attacks on American positions. Even after the unfortunate relocation of the Japanese-American population, the American government thought I would be of service to them. I was even entrusted with special messages that were sent to me by the famed Navaho Code Talkers, which you know out government was unable to decipher. I admit that I did some things I was not proud of for both sides, but I was never suspected. When I had the opportunity to capture American POW's, I let them escape after briefing them about my activities; if I was captured by the Americans, I always told the top brass about my covert activities on the behalf of their government. I was one of the first persons to warn the new Truman Administration that the government was willing to sacrifice everyone to save their nation. It was perhaps one of the reasons why the atomic bombs fell on Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

"And you have no remorse over that?," Daria said.

Ieyasu continued, "I'll admit that I do feel remorse that many died in those two attacks. But it is known that some American POW's died as well. But as I see it, atrocities were made by everyone in the war, so it's a wash. What matters is the here and now. Anyway, after the war, I did my part in reconstructing the nation; I assisted the occupation forces in various matters, and after they left, I was contacted by my government about forming a special unit that would keep an eye on groups that would try to bring back militarism. The unit was named 'Red Unit'. We're a special part of the SDF--which for obvious reasons officially doesn't exist--that keeps an eye on groups like the NIRAA in case something like the present situation occurs. I keep tabs on these groups via short-wave radio and the Internet, as well as take considerable risks in infiltrating their secret meetings. Believe me, I am seen as a hero by my neighbors; to them, I am not a traitor for what I did during the war, or even now. There is no honor lost if you admit that you did wrong and wish to do penance. We'd much prefer what we have now than to go back to those dark days of the past."

Everyone stood there, silently amazed at what Ieyasu had told them. He finally broke the silence:

"Come, I know why you are here. The plane is waiting for us in the back."

"Plane?," Usagi said.

They stepped out and saw the Nick there in the backyard.

"Any of you into airplanes?," Ieyasu said.

"I am," Daria said. "That's a Kawasaki Ki-45 Toryu night fighter/ground attack aircraft. Maximum speed, 338 MPH; powerplant, two Mitsubishi Ha-102 14-cylinder radial piston engines rated at 1079 horsepower; range of 1240 miles; service ceiling of 33,000 feet; armed with a forward-firing 37-mm cannon, two obliquely mounted upward-firing 20-mm cannons and a 7.92-mm machine gun in the rear observer's position. The 'Nick,' as we called it, was unusual for a Japanese aircraft since it had armored gas tanks, whereas most other planes like the Zero didn't. And it was this plane, and not the Zero, that made the first Kamikaze attacks against American naval vessels in 1944."

"I see you know this plane very well," Ieyasu said. "Right now, this old plane is the only airworthy craft we have against the Neo-Zero."

"Wouldn't that be like using a pea shooter against an ICBM?," Daria said.

"I have studied much of your Western world's religions," Ieyasu continued, "and if I recall, in both Judaism and Christianity, they didn't give a young man not much older than you named David much of a chance against someone named Goliath, who was a bit taller than most of your nation's basketball players. Remember, back in 1281, no one thought we stood a chance against the mighty Mongol Empire when they sent a vast armada against us. But then our Shinto priest prayed for divine intervention, and a massive storm sank much of the Mongol fleet. That was the origin of Kamikaze, the 'Divine Wind.' Only much later on was it given to those soldiers and pilots who sacrificed themselves in fighting against the enemy during World War II."

"For what it's worth," Daria said, "no one thought the English had a chance against the Spanish Armada back in 1588, either, and they were totaled by bad weather as well."

Ieyasu got a good laugh over that. "Young lady, you are not like most other Americans I have met; you're not so uptight. Now, I guess I'll take you and you." He pointed to Daria and Ami. "Let's get in the plane and take off. My wife has already let down the fence so we'll taxi onto the street and take off from there."

Natsume, Ieyasu's wife went to Jane and said, "You can join me in the car and follow them."

"Fine by me," Jane said.

"I'll fly on my own and see if I can't help in anyway," Usagi said.

Thus Ieyasu, Daria and Ami got into the Nick. Ieyasu got to the pilot's controls and turned on the ignition. Ami sat next to him while Daria got in the rear observer's position. The engines coughed to life as the propellers began spinning. Soon the lumbering plane was going down the backyard, to the front and out onto the street, where it got into take-off position.

Ieyasu made a careful check of all systems. "All systems go," he said. He then pulled gently on the throttle and the plane eased down the road, and was soon airborne. Jane and Natsume followed in Ieyasu's car, and Sailor Moon took off and flew in the same direction. The final battle to save Japan from the NIRAA was soon underway.

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Yoriko was flying over what was left of Tokyo. She had Black Monk Time in the CD player again. This time she was listening to "I Hate You" Larry Clark's screeching organ playing led into Gary Burger's vocals:

"Hey, well, I hate you with a passion, baby! Yeah, I do!

But call me!

Well, you know, my hate's everlasting, baby!

But call me!

Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you know why I hate you, baby? Huh? Do you now?

But call me!

Wellllllllllll, it's because, because, because you make me hate you, baby! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

But call me!"

Suddenly, she saw the Nick and Sailor Moon flying right toward her.

"Hah! All they can send against me is a rusty old World War II relic? It's no contest!," she sneered.

Yoriko had the Nick targeted in her HUD. She was ready to fire away with the Deathgrip cannon when suddenly, Sailor Moon parked right on top of her; all Yoriko could see was Sailor Moon's buttocks.

"GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!!," Yoriko yelled.

Yoriko instinctively pulled back and got into a steep climb. Sailor Moon was thrown off, but it gave the Nick a momentary edge. Ieyasu fired the forward cannon, sending a hail of bullets Yoriko's way.

"DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!," Yoriko screeched.

The bullets cut right through the Neo-Zero, though it was pretty heavily armored; thus it only got slight damage.

Yoriko decided to arm Neo-Sidewinders.

Ieyasu saw that coming.

"If she fires those missiles, we're done for!," Ami said.

"See those infrared flares back there?," Ieyasu said.

Ami said she did.

"Light some, and then throw them overboard on my mark," Ieyasu said.

Ami did as Ieyasu said to her. She lit the flares. Luckily these were somewhat similar to roadside flares and could be held for some time.

Yoriko aimed the HUD again at the Nick.

"SEE YOU IN HELL, BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!," she yelled as she fired every available missile she had.

Ieyasu saw it coming. "NOW!!!!!!!!!!," he yelled. Ami dumped the flares overboard, and the missiles went right for them, blowing up harmlessly, though it was a bit too close for comfort for everyone aboard. They were jolted a bit.

"YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!, and I don't mean that Internet search engine, either!," Ieyasu said.

"WHAT IN HELL?!?!?!?!?!," Yoriko said.

Sailor Moon saw all this going on and said, "Holy moley!"

Now the Nick had the edge. Ieyasu sent the forward gun blazing. The bullets ripped through the Neo-Zero like lightning. The Neo-Zero fired back, doing some damage of its own.

Daria was lovingly holding to the trigger of her tailgun. The wind was whipping her hair as she stood in her position. Somehow, wearing her new armored bikini outfit and with her wind-tossed hair, she felt very sexy; perhaps the sexiest she ever felt in all her life.

The Neo-Zero made another pass at the Nick, firing away like crazy. Two bullets whizzed just short of Daria, who fired back.

"God, I love an old-fashioned dogfight!," Ieyasu said. He was now remembering those days when he flew this old plane up against the Americans, but now this was different; he had American allies, and they were fighting for a free, democratic Japan. How much times had changed since 1945! If only most of his comrades were alive now, he could tell them about this. "We were wrong for opposing the Americans; by all rights, we should have called them our allies against the Nazis and the Fascists," was what he wished to say to them. "We were foolish to back their cause. We should have made some type of economic association with our neighbors more like the European Union and not the imperial expansion we sought. Didn't we decide to adopt Western technology and Western ways so we could stand as equals with them instead of being subservient? We must lead by example to show the rest of the world the way to a better day." But he was not so much worried for the past as for the future. No matter what that future was--a new Ice Age leading to Crystal Tokyo, or a high-tech future like many wished, or even the status quo--he was fighting for a future where freedom and democracy ruled, not a return to reactionary rule. He was fighting for his future; he was fighting for Usagi's and Ami's; in a sense, he was also fighting for Daria's as well. He knew that even his own father opposed the militarists, but was silenced by them. If only he was alive to see this.

The fusillades were fast and furious now. Both planes suffered considerable damage. Somehow the superior speed and firepower of the Neo-Zero was beginning to tell. But now it was time to play the end game of this battle. Ieyasu piloted the Nick so that it was now right below the Neo-Zero.

"Ami, Daria, aim for the drop tanks," Ieyasu said. Ami aimed the obliquely‑mounted, upward-firing guns at the top of the plane at the left tank while Daria aimed her tailgun (which was on a flexible mount) on the right tank.

"On my mark, fire!," Ieyasu said.

They got very close to the Neo-Zero now.

Yoriko managed to pick them up on her radar.

"They think they can knock me out with a surprise attack?," she sneered. "I'll show them!"

Ieyasu sensed that he was at the right position.

"NOW!!!!!!!!!," he yelled. All the guns were blazing at the drop tanks.

Yoriko was ready to fire the afterburners and launch a surprise attack of her own. However, one of the bullets (which was especially reinforced and hardened to pierce the armored tanks) managed to go right through the right tank. When the afterburners were kicked in, it ignited. Yoriko saw it ignite in horror.

"NO!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!," she screamed.

She knew she only had seconds in which to act. She pressed the eject button and was thrown out of the Neo-Zero. It went on its own for a few seconds before the right drop tank finally exploded; soon the entire jet fighter was enveloped in flames, dropping to Tokyo Bay; when it landed into the water, it exploded with a loud "BOOM!!!!!!!!!!" Yoriko was now floating down toward Tokyo.

Sailor Moon saw what happened. She got onto a radio she was carrying and said, "You guys did it!" She could hear the sounds of celebration in the Nick.

In the Nick, which was still airworthy despite all the damage inflicted on it, Ieyasu turned to his comrades and said, "Well done, ladies."

"The Neo-Zero may be destroyed, Harry, but we still have Yoriko to deal with," Daria said.

All agreed with her on that. They were making their way back to Narita when Jane radioed in from Natsume's car.

"We saw everything, guys! Way to go!"

"Better not open the champagne yet, Jane, " Daria said, "as Yogi Berra says, 'It ain't over 'til it's over.'"

Data 16: Tokyo Game, Set, and Match

r. Vander Helffen, now clad in his Iron Cross robotic armor, was heading down the deserted streets of Tokyo on his way to the Imperial Palace. He was not aware that the Neo-Zero had been shot down. He was planning to deal with Yoriko eventually, she had gotten too big for her britches. But he also knew that he had to take his next Hi no Tori immortality pill soon, or suffer grave consequences.

He was nearing the street he needed to go down to in order to get to the Imperial Palace. However, Ryu was blocking his way.

"Dr. Vander Helffen! I won't let you get away with this!," Ryu said. "The Japan you want to bring back has long been discredited!"

"Get out of my way, traitor!," Dr. Vander Helffen said. He picked up a Mazda and flung it right at him. Ryu got out of the way in time, but then was bushwhacked by a sucker punch that sent him through a wall. Ryu slowly got up. On his bare forearms were the dragon and tiger tattoos that were given to him after he was admitted as a Shaolin priest. A wise man named Kwai Chang Caine, who he met in his travels abroad, once said that strength and might was not all there was at battle; intelligence was as important. Use your foe's strengths against him. Ryu went to Dr. Vander Helffen and launched into a roundhouse kick. Dr. Vander Helffen swung a fist at him, but instead knocked down a facade, sending bricks raining down on him. However, Dr. Vander Helffen shook that off and approached Ryu.

Suddenly, there was a searing blast of solar energy from nowhere.

"SOLAR FLARE DISCHARGE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!," yelled a voice.

The solar energy knocked Dr. Vander Helffen down. Tetsuo stepped out of some rubble.

"You evil man!," he said, "I am the Solar Warrior, servant to Amaterasu-Omikami, Goddess of the Sun and defender of Japan! In the name of the Sun you are judged!"

Dr. Vander Helffen yelled in anger, "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!" He charged at them. Ryu and the Solar Warrior now launched a double-barreled assault. They pounded him hard, real hard. The Iron Cross armor was beginning to buckle, then finally, it fell apart and exploded, ejecting Dr. Vander Helffen out of it. He was severely injured. Ryu and the Solar Warrior approached him.

"Give yourself up!," the Solar Warrior said.

"Never!," Dr. Vander Helffen said. "Once I take this last Hi no Tori immortality pill, I will be as strong as ever. He took it out of his vial and was about to put it in his mouth, but in his haste to swallow it, it missed his mouth, rolled across the street and rolled into the sewer.

Dr. Vander Helffen screamed in agony:

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS THE LAST ONE!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, a hideous transformation took place. Dr. Vander Helffen was aging rapidly before Ryu and the Solar Warrior. His hair turned gray and fell out. His skin wrinkled up. His bones sagged in arthritic pain. All this rapid aging proved to be too much, and Dr. Vander Helffen fell down dead from a heart attack. But this was not the end of that. Suddenly, the body began to rapidly decompose. The skin rotted away to nothing, then the muscles, intestines and sinews as well. Then the skeleton rapidly turned to dust, and was blown away in all directions by the wind. Thus was the horrible end of Dr. Helmut Vander Helffen, former genetic expert to Hitler, shadowy leader of the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association.

Ryu and the Solar Warrior saw the whole thing. "Now he's gone to Yomi, the land of the dead, where he belongs!," the Solar Warrior said.

"Now we have but one more enemy to face: Amazana Yoriko," Ryu said.

Ryu got out his portable communicator to contact the Sailor Senshi. It was time to find Yoriko. "Sailor Senshi, can you hear me?," he said.

"I hear you," Daria said.

Ryu then asked, "Where is Amazana Yoriko?"

"I think she parachuted her way to the Mitsubishi Building," Daria replied.

"We'll met you there," Ryu said. He and the Solar Warrior headed off in that direction.

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Yoriko had landed on the roof of the Mitsubishi Building. For now, she was alone.

"I will never surrender!," she said to herself.

She took a look at the streets below. The NIRAA soldiers were engaged in fierce fighting with the SDF now. It seemed that everyone had taken the Emperor's message to heart and were now fighting to rid Japan of the NIRAA.

"Those fools," she said, "if they think they can defeat us, they are crazy!"

Suddenly, the door of the stairway leading to the roof was kicked open, and Sailor Moon, along with the other Sailor Senshi, Tuxedo Mask, Jane, Trent, Jesse, Mack, his cousin Brian, Jodie, Ryu and the Solar Warrior entered.

"Amazana Yoriko, give yourself up!," said Sailor Moon; "I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! These are the Sailor Senshi and our allies! In the name of the Moon and in the name of a free and democratic Japan, we will punish you!"

"You're already too late!," Yoriko yelled. "We've bombed most of Tokyo to rubble, and even now the civilian government's thinking of surrendering! At long last, my father, Gen. Tojo Hideki, will be vindicated!"

"As long as my master, Amaterasu-Omikami, Goddess of the Sun, shines above in the heavens, I swear you will never succeed in your evil plans!," the Solar Warrior said.

"Once the NIRAA has seized power, you will all be destroyed!," Yoriko said.

Daria wanted to cut to the heart of the matter.

"Why is it," Daria said, "that your organization wants to bring back the form of tyranny that brought so much suffering to millions of innocent people?"

"Do not question me!," Yoriko said. "We want to make Japan the leader of the world!"

"May I remind you that the military government that ruled during World War II was responsible for such things as the attack on Manchuria, the Rape of Nanjing, the attack on Pearl Harbor, the Baatan Death March, the POW camps, the Korean comfort woman, and other atrocities?," Daria said. "Certainly you're planning to do all that and worse!"

"I WILL SILENCE YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL TIME, YOU MINX!!!!!!!!!!," Yoriko said. She took the vial of the only Hi no Tori immortality pills left in the world and swallowed them all. She screamed as a hideous transformation took place. She grew to be fifty feet tall, and now had horns on her head, green hair and was wearing a tiger skin suit. She now had sharp teeth and sharp claws. She had transformed into a gigantic oni, or ogre.

"Oooooo, you've really made her mad now, Daria," Jane said.

"Tell me about it," Daria replied.

"FALL BACK!!!!!!!!!!," Sailor Moon said to everyone.

Yoriko now seized Daria and threw her on the roof again. She then stepped on her with her left cloven foot.

"Now I will crush you like Japan will do to all who oppose her!," Yoriko said. "Then I will kill you all!"

"We've got to save Daria!," Sailor Moon said. Now every Sailor Senshi unleashed her attack, some of them were old, some of them new:

"MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!"

"SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!"

"MARS SOUL FIRE, IGNITE!!!!!!!!!!"

"JUPITER THUNDER, CRASH!!!!!!!!!!"

"VENUS CRESCENT BEAM, SMASH!!!!!!!!!!"

"SATURN SPEAR ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

"URANUS SWORD ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

"NEPTUNE DEEP SUBMERGE!!!!!!!!!!"

"PLUTO MIRROR ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

"CHIBI-MOON LOVE BEAM ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

Tuxedo Mask lunged his extended walking cane at the creature as well.

Ryu launched into a roundhouse kick.

The Solar Warrior then launched into his "SOLAR FLARE DISCHARGE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!"

But it all seemed to be in vain; Yoriko still was standing. Now she stepped harder on Daria.

"Mon, Dad, Quinn, I now realize you'll never hear me say this, but I've always loved you!," Daria said to herself.

Suddenly, there was a dazzling flash of light that blinded everyone. There was a loud voice that pierced the air:

"I am Amaterasu-Omikami, Goddess of the Sun and Protector of Japan! I have heard the pleas of my people to deliver them from their peril and I will save them, for the battle and the victory are mine! Amazana Yoriko, in the name of the Sun and of my people that I care for deeply, you are judged!"

Amaterasu-Omikami now appeared, brandishing the legendary sword Murakumo‑no-Tsurugi, which belonged to her brother Susano, the God of the Wind. She unsheathed the sword and swung it at Yoriko. Yoriko parried the blow with her left arm, then tried to wrest the sword from Amaterasu-Omikami. Suddenly, Susano himself appeared and blew cold wind into Yoriko's face, sending her howling. Brandishing the spear that Izanagi and Izanami used to create Japan, he plunged it into Yoriko's belly, sending her howling. She got off Daria, who stood up again. Yoriko withdrew the spear and flung it at Susano, who grabbed it. Amaterasu-Omikami now charged at Yoriko with Murakumo-no-Tsurugi, and drove it home right into Yoriko's heart. The creature was not dead, but now was weakened and in bitterest agony.

"My child," Amaterasu-Omikami said to Rei, "Use the powers of the miko that are yours by birthright to banish the demon."

Rei took a demon banishment scroll and said, "This is for you, Grandpa! Akuryo taisan!," and flung it at the creature, sticking to its forehead.

"Ami, Daria, freeze her!," Sailor Moon said.

They both said "SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!," and froze Yoriko solid.

"Now, Sailor Moon," Amaterasu-Omikami said, "finish her off! Destroy this demon and end this war!"

Sailor Moon took out her Moon Scepter and pointed it at the creature.

"MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!!!!!!!"

The magic beams hit the creature with such force that it exploded with a loud "BOOM!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone was knocked off their feet by the violent explosion. Daria, however was blown over and nearly fell to the street save for her grabbing a railing. Daria was hanging on for dear life. Suddenly, an arm grabbed her, and Daria grabbed it with both hands and was taken to safety. It turned out to be Jane.

"Thanks, Jane," Daria said, "I owe you one!"

"Now to end this battle once and for all!," Amaterasu-Omikami said. Suddenly, fiery shafts shot out of her fingers, and they traveled all around Tokyo, incinerating every last NIRAA ninja soldier. Suddenly, it was all over. Amazana Yoriko and the NIRAA were obliterated.

The dark clouds that were hanging over Tokyo began to dissipate as the Sun began to shine through.

"Thus as the sunshine dissipates the storm clouds, a new era dawns for Japan," Amaterasu-Omikami said. "Amazana Yoriko and the NIRAA have been destroyed. Peace reigns again. I want to congratulate all of you for helping me stop these deadly adversaries. As a token of my favor, receive these." Once again, fiery shafts emerged form her fingers, but this time they solidified into gemstones.

"These solar gemstones will serve as a reminder of your heroic deeds in saving my people," Amaterasu-Omikami said. "Keep them with pride, and pass them on to your children and grandchildren. Remind them of the time you saved my people from tyranny. And now I must leave you. Come, my brother, we will return to the heavens. I will leave you with my blessing: may you live long and healthy lives for as long as the Sun shall shine in the skies." Thus the two gods left our plane of existence for theirs.

Everyone stood there speechless for a minute. Finally, Sailor Moon said, "We did it. We all did it. We saved Japan."

They could hear the SDF soldiers below singing "Kimigayo" again, followed by a chorus of "BANZAI!!!!!!!!!! BANZAI!!!!!!!!!! BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!"

A new era had dawned on Japan, and the world was never going to be the same.

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A few days later, a huge crowd had gathered in the Throne Room of the Imperial Palace. There were ambassadors, members of the Diet, and SDF soldiers, sailors and airmen as well as the Prime Minister, the Cabinet and the Imperial Family. Also there was Representative-Elect Nagai; despite the horrible damage Tokyo suffered, the by-election went on as scheduled, and he won by a landslide. The Sailor Senshi, Ryu, the Solar Warrior, Gen. Torymura and Jane were all going to receive the Order of the Rising Sun, the highest medal Japan could bestow. They all entered the room, and everyone smartly stepped aside to allow them passage. They walked up to the Emperor and stopped in front of him, bowing deeply.

"Honored heroes," the Emperor began, "today a grateful Japan gives to you the highest award this nation can bestow for bravery above and beyond the call of duty: the Order of the Rising Sun. Wear these medals with pride. Remember the sacrifices you made to save our nation from peril."

The Emperor them pinned the medals on each of them. After that, the crowd cheered "BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!" five times.

Gen. Torymura then stepped forward to say a few words:

"I want to commend the brave actions made by all those who were under my command in this situation. We were fighting against impossible odds but we succeeded. But I do not know if I am worthy of such high merit. I must confess a shortcoming to you that occurred fifteen years ago. I was on patrol that day when the Soviets shot down the KAL jet that wandered into their airspace. We should have done something to avert the tragedy, but we felt bound by Article 9. Although we had been cleared of negligence, I still feel some moral responsibility for what happened because my sister and brother-in-law were on board. But now I can begin to atone for my shortcomings." He motioned to Makoto and continued, "I hereby vow to you all that I will take care of my niece Kino Makoto, whose parents were on board that plane, and I will finance her college education. She will live with my wife and children as well as myself. She will once again have a family."

The crowd applauded. Tears of joy were running down Makoto's face.

Daria clapped with the others; meanwhile, she knew that she had to catch a flight after this, and there was one small matter she had to take care of at a duty free shop before that. . .

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At Narita Airport, Daria, Jane, Trent, Jesse, Jodie and Mack were going to take the next flight to Lawndale. But there was some matters to take care of first.

"Well," Ami said, "since I didn't register, I lost my tuition deposit. Now I'll have to wait another year for pre-med. Besides, I don't think I'm ready for it yet, anyway."

"Good call, Ami-chan," Usagi said, "we need you big time."

"I guess this means my career as Sailor Mercury is over," Daria said.

"It most certainly is!," Luna said. "Ami, Daria, grab onto my tail." They did, and the Sailor Mercury powers were transferred back to Ami.

"Well," Daria said, "back to just being a mere mortal!"

"Hey," Jane said, "you still have your ability to put down people!"

"Daria," Usagi said, "on behalf of all the Sailor Senshi, thanks for all your help. If we ever get a chance to visit Lawndale, we'll look you up. Keep in touch with us, OK?"

"We will," Daria said.

"Mikey," Brian said, "it was nice meeting you again, even if it was brief."

"Next time you go on leave, drop by," Mack said.

"I'm going to miss you guys," Daria said, then hugged all the Sailor Senshi.

The PA announcer said that the Lawndale flight was now boarding.

"We've got to go now," Daria said. "Keep the faith!"

Daria and her friends then went down the gate.

"Farewell, Daria Morgendorffer, and godspeed!," Usagi said.

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The Sailor Senshi returned to Tokyo. It was now midnight. Most of the Sailor Senshi were with their parents in the emergency shelters that were set up around the area. Usagi's parents hadn't returned from the resort yet, so she and Chibi-Usa were staying with Luna and Rei in Mamoru's apartment. Usagi and Mamoru were sleeping together. Usagi got up, put on a robe, walked across the apartment past the couches where Luna, Rei and Chibi-Usa were sleeping and stepped onto the balcony. She could see the horrific damage that Tokyo suffered. Mamoru then joined her.

"Mamo-chan," Usagi said, "with all the horrible things that have just happened here, and with all the evil that is still rampant in this world, will we ever realize Crystal Tokyo?"

"Perhaps it won't come to pass exactly the way everyone thought it would," Mamoru said, "but it is still possible. Maybe it is up to us to make it happen. Tokyo will be rebuilt, and it will be people like us who will rebuild it. It will take people like Gov. Nagai to realize that vision, that future we're all fighting for. Besides, I think I can make a difference here and now. Tomorrow I'm going to announce that I want to seek the Komeito nomination for the governorship of Tokyo-to. And I wouldn't mind if you were my First Lady."

Usagi asked, "Mamo-chan, are you asking me to marry you?"

Mamoru replied, "Yes, Usako."

"Then," answered Usagi, "in that case, of course."

Mamoru then pointed outside and said, "Tsukino Usagi, take a look around you. From the ashes we will build a better future for all of us. If that isn't worth fighting for, than what is. At least if we are to fight for it, let us do that side-by-side, husband and wife."

They then kissed and returned to bed. They made love, and they fell asleep, Mamoru's head laying across Usagi's breasts. Usagi then said to herself, "We will fight for a better future, Queen Serenity, and we will do it together."

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At Lawndale International Airport, Helen, Jake and Quinn were waiting for Daria's flight to arrive.

"When are they going to get here?," Jake said.

"You know airlines," Helen said, "they're always running behind schedule!"

Suddenly, Daria and her friends came down the gate. They ran up to Daria and hugged her.

"Welcome home, sweetheart!," Jake said. "We're so happy you're back."

"Quinn," Daria said, "I have this for you." It was a box.

"What's in it?," Quinn asked. "I hope it's not a bomb!"

"Quinn!," Helen said.

"Open it and see," Daria said.

Quinn did, and a very beautiful kimono was inside. Quinn held it up to her and said, "Oh, Daria! This is so beautiful! I'm going to wear this to the next meeting of the Fashion Club!"

"Man, am I ever glad to be back home," Trent said.

"You know, Trent," Daria said, "I have to agree with you."

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Since it was the weekend when she arrived back, Daria spent Friday night at her house, then spent Saturday at Jane's place. That night, she and Trent had a frank talk about their feelings for each other, and they wound up sleeping together. It was midnight now, and they were lying in bed. Daria laid her head across Trent's chest. She was trying to find some words, but all she said at first was:

"Trent, take a good look at me and ask me if I'm really small-breasted."

Trent replied, "Daria, no matter now big those things are, you're still a beautiful woman to me."

Daria continued, "Trent, I'm glad we finally admitted that we love each other. This has been a special night for me. But what led you to finally confess your feelings for me?"

Trent began to reply:

"Well, I spoke to that Mamoru cat, and he told it like it was for him when he first met that Usagi babe. He told me he once hated her and called her 'Dumpling-Head', but over time he realized how special she was to him, though he didn't have the guts to say it at first. But now they're real close, man. Mamoru gave me the courage to finally speak out. I'm glad he did."

"And I'm glad he did, too," Daria said as she grabbed some body oil and began rubbing it on Trent. Daria now felt good being nude, and so did Trent.

Jane heard everything that was going on through the wall and smiled to herself. "At last, my brother's admitted he's crazy for Daria," she said to herself. "Hell, maybe someday they'll get married and have kids and I'll be a good aunt to them and teach them to be artists like me!" Jane went off to sleep with a self-satisfied smirk.

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After spending Sunday at home, Daria returned to school. At first, she was a bit reprehensive since she was an outcast, but when she entered, it seemed everyone was asking questions about what had happened and what she did. Now, that school was letting out for the day, everyone was crowding around her.

"You've just got to tell me who does your clothes," Sandi said, "that combat fatigue look is so chic!"

"Want to go to my party this Friday night?," Brittany said, twirling her hair around her finger and staring into space, "I know some guys who might be interested in you!"

"Thanks, but I'm already spoken for," Daria said.

"You know, Daria, you're an OK person," Kevin said.

"If you ever want to join the Fashion Club, you're welcome to," Stacy said.

"And to think that just a few days ago, nobody wanted to talk to you," Jane said.

"Well, I just hope my fifteen minutes of fame lasts a bit longer than most others," Daria said.

Daria saw Quinn coming with her boyfriends Joey, Jeffy and Jamie.

"And this is my heroic sister, Daria!," Quinn said.

"I thought she was your cousin," Joey said.

"That was all rumors!," replied Quinn. "She really is my sister, and I'm proud of it!"

Suddenly, Upchuck arrived.

"Hey, Quinn," Upchuck said, "want to go to my place for some tutoring, if you know what I mean? ROWR!!!!!!!!!!"

"Leave me alone, Upchuck!," screamed Quinn.

"I'll handle this, Quinn," Daria said. "SHABON SPRAY, FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!"

Upchuck was frozen to his neck.

"I thought you gave up all of Sailor Mercury's powers," Jane said.

Daria replied, "Not all of them, Jane; after all, I have to teach some idiots here a lesson!"

"C'mon," Jane said, "Let's go get a pizza!" She flung her arms around Daria and Quinn and left along with the others. Upchuck was all alone.

He began to scream, "Hey, isn't anyone going to get me thawed out? Anyone? HELP!!!!!!!!!!"

Mr. DeMartino saw him there.

"I've been waiting a long time for this, Charles," he said. "And I'm going to relish this! There's one word I've been dying to tell you for the longest time."

Upchuck asked him, "And what's that, Mr. DeMartino?"

Suddenly, Mr. DeMartino yelled, "SHADDUP!!!!!!!!!!"

He left Upchuck where he was. The lights were turned off and the doors locked.

Upchuck now began to shriek in his loudest voice possible:

"HELP!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE!!!!!!!!!! I'LL PAY A HUNDRED DOLLARS TO ANYONE WHO CAN FREE ME!!!!!!!!!!"

Upchuck kept this up for a few minutes, then finally said, "Why do I always get into these predicaments?"

EPILOGUE

government investigation led by Representative Nagai revealed that the NIRAA was a deep-rooted conspiracy that involved some corporate executives, some non-commissioned SDF officers and even some minor bureaucrats. Massive arrests were made.

Chiba Mamoru won the election to fill out Nagai's term as governor of Tokyo-to and married Usagi. They soon had a child, Chibi-Usa. The older Chibi-Usa then returned to her time.

Rei took over as chief priest for the reconstructed Sendai Hill Shrine and honed her mental abilities until only Charles Xavier was a stronger telepath then her on Earth.

Ami eventually did go to pre-med in Germany, and fulfilled her complete medical studies in the United States sometime later. She later joined the staff of the Mayo Clinic and helped find a cure for childhood leukemia.

Makoto joined the Japanese Olympic team and won several gold medals in track and field in the 2004 Games in Athens.

Gen. Torymura eventually was named to the SDF Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Hamada Ieyasu declined to be awarded the Order of the Rising Sun, saying that serving his nation was reward enough. He died shortly thereafter; his ashes were scattered from his beloved Nick over Tokyo Bay. The Nick is now at the SDF museum.

The Solar Warrior still fights for truth and justice to this very day; he's had various adventures which will probably someday be told in another tale.

Japan truly changed from the Neo-Zero affair. It fully apologized for what it did in World War II and promised to help better relations with its neighbors and the world community at large.

The Sailor Senshi are still committed to a better future for Japan and the world.

A Federal investigation revealed that the Lawndale Militia had extensive firepower in reserve and that many upstanding members of the community were part of it. There were many convictions, and most were either sentenced to death or life without parole.

Daria and Trent eventually married. They have a daughter, Usagi, and a son, Mamoru. Their Aunt Jane is getting their artistic talents honed.

Daria eventually became a lawyer like her mother. She successfully argued the case before the Supreme Court that struck down the 1996 welfare reform laws as unconstitutional because it violated poor people's due process rights.

Trent and his band Mystik Spiral eventually signed a multi-record deal with Warner Bros. records and has seven multi-platinum albums and scores of Top Ten and Number One hits.

Ms. Li was eventually found guilty of embezzlement and sentenced to thirty years in jail. Mr. DeMartino then became the new principal.

Highland admitted that it had used ineligible players in the game in question and forfeited it; Lawndale thus won the conference title and eventually the state title.

Israeli troops wreaked their vengeance on Islamic Jihad for the JAL hijacking. The Imam al-Kabaz was killed when a missile struck his home. Outstanding indictments against the others who were involved are pending in American and Japanese courts.

And, as for your announcer, he plans to finally get a good night's sleep and take a month off from his computer. He needs it.

"This is the end, beautiful friend, the end."

--Jim Morrison, The Doors, "The End"

THE EVER-LOVIN' END!

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APPENDIX TO THE MISERY SENSHI NEO-ZERO DOUBLE BLITZKRIEG DEBACLE

Peter Guerin

INTRODUCTION

his appendix was designed to help explain some of the cultural aspects of Japan as well as explain some of the in-jokes in the story; since this story has a heavy anime influence, and otaku in-jokes are very much a hallmark of the business, there's plenty of them.

This appendix is in two parts: Part 1 is a brief but detailed discussion of Japan in general while Part 2 is an explanation of the in-jokes by the data (or chapters) they appear in. Part 1 itself is divided into several subjects: History of Japan; Politics and Government; Religious Practices; Education; Business; and Social Conditions.

I am greatly indebted to the two books I have drawn most of my source material from. I have learned more about Japan from these two books than in any encyclopedia article or news report I have read in the past twenty years. They are The Japanese Today: Change and Continuity by Edwin O. Reischauer (Cambridge, Massachusetts, Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 1988), a book often cited as the definitive English-language book on Japan; the other is Samurai from Outer Space: Understanding Japanese Animation by Dr. Antonia Levi (Chicago, Open Court Press, 1996), which is available from Lorraine Savage's organization Anime Hasshin at PO Box 5121, Manchester NH 03108; please write to her for details about ordering this book or e-mail her at hasshin@tiac.net and mention about it to her. The historical outline as well as some information about Shinto were taken from World Almanac 1997 (Mahwah, NJ, World Almanac Books, 1996). Since this is but a brief description of Japan, I sincerely hope that those who read this appendix will consult these references for further study; Reischauer's book should be available at any good library, and Dr. Levi's book, as mentioned, can be ordered from Anime Hasshin.

PART ONE: JAPAN IN GENERAL

1. History

apanese history is broken down into several eras; until the so-called Meiji Restoration of 1868, they often coincided with events such as conquests, coups or changes in government structure. After 1868, eras changed when a new Emperor ascended the throne (as when the Showa Era ended and the present Heisei Era began in 1989 when then Emperor Hirohito died and his son Crown Prince Akihito acceded to the throne). Although the Christian or Common Era dating system is now used in Japan as in the rest of the world, Japanese coins to this day still bear the imperial era year instead of the calendar year (i.e. 1998 is Heisei 10).

Japanese history is said to have started in 660 BC, when, according to legend, Jimmu Tenno established the Imperial Dynasty; whether or not he actually ruled all of Japan is in doubt, but he did exist, and it is true that the dynasty has ruled unbroken to the present day (Akihito being a direct descendant). Reliable records, however, only begin in AD 3rd Century and were written by the Chinese. Another aspect was that Jimmu Tenno claimed as his ancestor Amaterasu-Omikami, the Shinto Sun Goddess; this claim was not disputed until Hirohito renounced it at the insistence of American occupation forces in 1946. This divine claim of the Imperial Family's origins will be explained further in the article about religion.

Japanese historical eras roughly begin with those first records and are as follows:

Yamato (c. 300-592) Yamato plain conquered.

Asuka (592-710) Empress Suiko ascends the throne.

Nara (710-794) Heijo (later Nara) established as Japan's first capital; later moved to Nagaoka in 784.

Heian (794-1185) Heian (later Kyoto) becomes the capital; remains de facto capital until 1868, when Tokyo is proclaimed the sole capital.

Fujiwara (858-1160) Fujiwara-no-Yoshifusa becomes regent.

Taira (1160-1185) Taira-no-Kiyomori seizes power; defeated by Minamoto-no-Yoritomo in 1185.

Kamakura (1192-1333) Yoritomo becomes the first shogun or military ruler of Japan.

Namboku (1334-1392) Imperial power restored by Godaigo, who later establishes the Southern Court at Yoshino in 1336.

Ashikaga (1338-1573) Asikaga Takaugi restores shogunal rule.

Muromachi (1392-1573) Southern and Northern Courts reunited; arrival of first Westerners--Portuguese and Jesuit priests.

Sengoku (1467-1600) Onin War breaks out.

Momoyama (1573-16003) Oda Nobunga enters Kyoto 1568; deposes last Ashikaga shogun in 1573; Tokugawa Ieyasu victor at Sekigahara, 1600.

Edo, or Tokugawa (1603-1867) Ieyasu becomes shogun; establishes Edo (later Tokyo) as shogunal capital. Christianity stamped out and Europeans expelled; only Dutch are allowed to trade and only at Nagasaki. Japan begins to isolate itself from the rest of the world. Westerners return with a vengeance, led by US Commodore Matthew Perry in 1853, US Consul-General Townsend Harris (born in Hudson Falls, New York) negotiates first trade treaty 1858. Upstart samurai and others depose Tokugawa shogunate 1867.

Meiji (1868-1912) Mutsuhito proclaimed Emperor in so-called Meiji Restoration; Tokyo proclaimed sole capital. Charter Oath, 1868; first Constitution promulgated by the "genro" or elder statesmen who actually rule in 1889; Sino-Japanese War 1894-95 and Russo-Japanese War 1904-05 big Japanese victories, especially for Imperial Navy, which gets technical assistance from British Royal Navy (their influence would be felt elsewhere, as will be explained in the article about education). Korea and Taiwan annexed as well as half of Sakhalin Island. Rapid modernization occurs.

Taisho (1912-1926) Reign of Emperor Yoshihito, who is unfortunately mentally incompetent; forcing Crown Prince Hirohito to act as regent for most of his father's reign. Great Kanto Earthquake 1923 decimates most of Tokyo.

Showa (1926-1989) Hirohito ascends throne; becomes longest ruling Emperor ever (he reigns almost as long as Queen Victoria). Military slowly creeps into power, first with unauthorized attack on Manchuria in 1931; in full power by 1937; Hirohito objects strongly to most of the military's actions but is powerless to stop them. Gen. Tojo Hideki becomes prime minister 1940. Japan allies itself with Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy. Surprise attack against Americans at Pearl Harbor 1941. Japan conquers most of East Asia, but almost all land is reconquered 1941-1945. Atomic bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 force Hirohito to call for surrender against the wishes of his government. American occupation 1945-1952; Gen. MacArthur's staff drafts present Constitution, adopted 1947. U.S. takes Okinawa (but is returned in 1972); USSR takes Kuriles and the southern half of Sakhalin Island (they're still part of Russia to this day; the Russian possession of the Kuriles has been a source of friction between the two nations). After occupation ends, Japan recovers to become an industrial and economic powerhouse. Hirohito was the last World War II leader still in office (and the only Axis power government official still in office) when he dies.

Heisei (1989-present) Akihito accedes to the throne; presides over economic crisis of 1990's. Great Kobe Earthquake 1995.

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2. Politics and Government

a. Constitution

Japan is governed under its present Showa or 1947 Constitution. This supplanted the original Meiji Constitution of 1889 and was drafted by the American occupation forces under the command of Gen. Douglas MacArthur. Although some view it as an American document imposed on Japan, it did take into account many of the trends that were already prevalent in Japan before the militarists took over; Japan was becoming a parliamentary democracy and a constitutional monarchy as of the British model. There were some American innovations, however, as will be explained shortly. The new instrument solidified the trend toward parliamentary democracy. The Emperor was now called "the symbol of the State and the unity of the people" while the Diet was called "the highest organ of state power" and "the sole law-making organ". Further, the famed Article 9 states that "Japan forever renounces war as a sovereign right and the maintenance of land, sea, and air forces"; this has been interpreted to mean that Japan cannot wage offensive war, but has the right to defend itself; thus the creation of the Self-Defense Forces in 1954 amid much controversy. Amendments to the constitution can be made by a two-thirds majority of both houses of the Diet, though it is silent as to whether such amendments are later to be approved by referendum as in many European nations or to be ratified by the prefectures as in the American system of ratification by states. So far, no amendments have been made. There is even a Bill of Rights like in the American Constitution; such existed in the 1889 Constitution, but had legal restrictions placed on them. There are no restrictions in the present document, though the public is enjoined to use their rights "for the public welfare".

b. The Emperor and Imperial Family

Presently, the Imperial Family is restricted to the immediate members. This was one of the reforms of the American occupation. Only Hirohito, Empress Nagako, Crown Prince Akihito and Hirohito's three brothers were considered to be "imperial"; even his married daughters were classed as commoners. In 1959, Akihito married Michiko Shoda (now Empress Michiko); even by pre-war standards she was a commoner (her father, however, was a respected businessman) and was the first to marry into the Imperial family (she was also the first non-Shintoist and non-Buddhist to do so; she's Catholic and went to Seishin University, a Catholic institution); they fell in love while playing tennis. The present Crown Prince is Naruhito; he too is married to a commoner named Masako Owada, and there were rumors for a while that Crown Princess Masako was unhappy about their marriage. Thankfully, the Japanese Imperial Family has been free of the tabloid controversy that has surrounded the British, Monegasque, Belgian and Dutch Royal Families, despite misgivings that still linger (especially by veterans) over what degree of guilt Hirohito had in the military government's actions. Hirohito was actually relived that he no longer had to wear a military uniform and instead wore a business suit and pursued his interests in marine biology.

The Imperial Family is actually a shy, quiet, retiring family, much suited to their roles as serving as symbols of the state. Although the Emperor still takes part in some Shinto rituals, the government says they have no actual religious significance. When Shinto was declared the established religion during the Meiji Era, the Emperor was considered a god and the leader of the faith; to put it in perspective, it would be as if someone combined the Queen of England's role as temporal head of the Church of England with the spiritual leadership of the Archbishop of Canterbury and then made a living saint or a god. Shinto, however, is much more complex than that, as will be seen in the article about religion.

Perhaps one of the reasons why the Japanese Imperial Family has kept itself free from controversy is that most Japanese view them now as average people; gone are the days when it was forbidden to look at the Emperor's face. Hirohito stunned everyone in 1945 when he went on the air to announce Japan's surrender to the Allies and told his countrymen to "bear the unbearable". The marriage of Akihito and Michiko stirred interest because they were in love with each other and the fact that Michiko is Catholic is not as fatal as if Prince Charles--who would be the temporal head of the Church of England when he ascends the throne--married a Catholic (which he is forbidden to do so anyway); after all, Shinto and Buddhism existed peacefully side-by-side for centuries, and after the Meiji Restoration, Christianity itself was beginning to be accepted once again (the present constitution guarantees complete religious freedom; this was no hasty decision given the toleration for Shinto and Buddhism as just mentioned). Most Japanese people accept the Imperial Family as an integral part of their government; most just don't make a big deal out of if, and there is no real movement to abolish it (even the Japanese Communist Party does not want to get rid of it). The Imperial Family lives in a palace in Tokyo that was used by the Tokugawa shoguns; it is open to the public only on two days a year: the Emperor's Birthday (December 23) and New Year's Day.

The Emperor's functions--other then the non-religious role he now has in Shinto--are quite few. He signs documents such as bills and treaties, thus indicating his Imperial Assent (much like the Queen does in Britain in signifying her Royal Assent). Every December, the Emperor opens the yearly session of the Diet by reading a speech at his throne just behind the Speaker's podium in the House of Councilors, much like the Queen's Speech is read in the State Opening of Parliament every November or the President delivering his State of the Union Address to Congress every January or February. The administration of the Imperial Family's functions is handled by the Imperial Household Agency.

It should be noted that the Japanese themselves do not call the Emperor by his actual name; in government documents and in news reports, he is called "His Imperial Majesty" or "the present Emperor"; even in death, he is referred to by the name given to the era of his reign; thus, Hirohito is now the Showa Emperor, and when Akihito dies, he will be known as the Heisei Emperor.

c. Prime Minister and Cabinet

Actual political power rests with the Prime Minister and his Cabinet (curiously, Emperors ceased to have actual political power almost a thousand years ago; even the so-called Meiji Restoration just removed power from the shogun and transferred it to the genro, or elder statesmen who engineered the coup). The Prime Minister can come from either house of the Diet, but in practice he is always from the House of Representatives, the lower house, since they have the final say on who will hold the post. The Prime Minister appoints his Cabinet of ministers. Among the most important include Education, Finance, and International Trade and Industry (MITI). As in other parliamentary systems, the Cabinet consists of members of the party in the majority in the House of Representatives. Other functions of the national government are of agency rank, such as the Self Defense Agency and the Imperial Household Agency.

d. The Diet

When the Diet was first organized in 1890, it was clearly influenced by the British Parliament. In 1947, it was reorganized with some influence of American Congressional practices but is still much like Parliament.

Like many national legislatures, the Diet is bicameral; that is, it consists of two houses. The upper house is called the House of Councillors, while the lower house--much like ours is in Congress--is called the House of Representatives.

The House of Councillors is an entirely elected body that replaced a partially appointed, partially inherited, partially elected House of Peers from the Meiji Restoration. The House of Councillors consists of 252 members; of these, one hundred are elected from the nation at large; the other 152 are elected from each of Japan's 47 prefectures. Each prefecture has a minimum of two so that at least one member from each prefecture will stand for election during each election cycle. Tokyo Metropolitan Prefecture has the most with 8. All members of the House of Councillors serve for six-year terms, and elections are held every three years, regardless of whether the House of Representatives is also standing for election; at each election, half of the at-large membership (or 50) and half of the prefectural membership (or 76) stands for election. Therefore, the upper house of the Diet is more akin to the U.S. Senate and the Canadian Senate than the British House of Lords as in the previous House of Peers.

The House of Representatives consists presently of 500 members, each elected form a prefectural constituency; each prefecture is divided into districts (or constituencies), which in turn elect from three to five members depending on the population of the constituency (the only exception is Okinawa Prefecture, which only elects one member at-large). A voter can only choose one candidate in the election, however. This rather convoluted system was seen as a compromise between the Anglo-American plurality system (where whoever has the largest amount of votes--not necessarily a majority--wins) and the European proportional representation system (where the parties are assigned seats in relation to how many votes they got in total). As in most parliamentary systems, the party that gains a simple majority of seats in the House of Representatives (or 251) gets to form the government, with the party leader becoming Prime Minister. Members of the House of Representatives serve for four years, unless (which, like many parliamentary democracies) elections are called for sooner than that by the government.

As in most parliamentary systems (and unlike our Congress, where both houses are roughly equal in power), the House of Representatives has the most power; it originates revenue bills, including the budget, and can override a rejection of a bill by the upper house by two-thirds vote (which is roughly analogous to overriding a Presidential veto by Congress but different from the House of Lords delaying bills for a year). Further, the concurrence of the upper chamber is not needed for treaties, and budgetary bills become law after thirty days whether or not the upper house has voted on it (much like the House of Lords cannot defeat a Money Bill passed by the House of Commons).

The typical year for the Diet starts with the State Opening in December, where all the members gather in the House of Councilors' chamber to hear the Emperor's Speech which, like the Queen's Speech in Parliament, outlines the Government's agenda for the year. Work on the budget is usually completed by April, though sessions are held in summer and fall in order to appropriate additional moneys as necessary. Both houses elect their own Speakers; the Speakers, though still tied to their parties as in the American system, must practice strict neutrality as is the case for the Speaker of the British House of Commons. History was made in 1992 when Doi Takako, a Socialist, was elected Speaker of the House of Representatives, the first woman to hold the post; Ms Doi already made history by becoming the first woman to head a political party in Japan. As is the case for Congress and Parliament, both houses have committees; among the most important are the Audit Committee and the Budget Committee; it is in the Budget Committee that questions are asked of the Government and is somewhat similar to the "Question Time" of the House of Commons which many have seen here in the U.S. on C‑SPAN on Sunday nights.

e. The Supreme Court

One American innovation made to Japan's otherwise pure parliamentary system was the creation of a Supreme Court with the power of judicial review as in the American model. In most parliamentary systems, once a law is passed, the courts (not even the House of Lords, the highest court of appeal in Great Britain) cannot rule on its constitutionality, though in Britain, statutory instruments (the equivalent of Federal regulations) can be scrutinized to see if they fall within the scope of powers granted in the parent law. This is not the case in Japan, where the Supreme Court can rule on constitutionality. However, most of the time, the court sides with the decisions made by the Diet majority. However, the court has been a zealous defender of citizen's rights and was active in many pollution cases in the 1970's. The Prime Minister appoints the members of the Supreme Court; the Chief Judge is named by the Emperor. At the next election of the Diet after his/her appointment, the newly appointed judge stands for election, and then faces election every ten years afterward. However, most elections for the Supreme Court are uncontested and non-controversial. The Supreme Court appoints judges for the lower courts and trains prospective lawyers.. Below the Supreme Court are regional courts, prefectural courts and municipal courts.

f. Law Enforcement and Justice

The chief organ of law enforcement in Japan is the famed National Police, equivalent to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police or the French gendarmes. The logo--a sunburst shaped to look like a chrysanthemum--is a familiar sight all throughout Japan and can even been seen in anime regularly; it can be best seen in the TV, movie and OAV anime series Patlabor. What makes the National Police so unique is that instead of precinct house or stations, there is a "kobun" or "police-box" in every major intersection in major cities and large house-like facilities in the countryside. The National Police have a hard-won reputation for honesty, efficiency and integrity. That is not to say that there are misgivings. They date back to the Tokugawa era, when "doshin", the lowest level of samurai, served as law enforcement officers in the urban areas. These doshin carried a weapon called a "jitte", a steel rod with a hook, that was used to disarm drunken or disorderly samurai (that weapon figures prominently in the anime series Cyber City Oedo 808). The reputation of the police was not helped much by the militarist rule of the 1930's, though it was also much neighborly snooping as well as the police that led to the suppression of opposition. However, by and large, the National Police are highly respected.

How the police do their job is also unique. Every six months, the local unit pays a visit to their service area's residents, asking questions on the welfare of the family, what possessions they recently got, and the like. Although this may be viewed in the U.S. as an unwarranted invasion of privacy, in Japan it is viewed as a minor inconvenience to suffer for protection. In fact, outside of totalitarian nations, no one is safer in the world than in Japan. The nation has very strict gun control laws, and murder is almost unheard of (even the manufacture and possession of samurai and ninja swords is restricted). A woman can go down the street at night and schoolchildren can go to and from class without fearing that someone will molest them.

The Japanese are pretty much a law-abiding people; even schoolchildren who find a one yen coin on the street (which is worth about one cent) will more often than not turn it in to the police (they get a notepad in exchange). Of course, that is not always the case. Much has been made of the yakuza, or gangs. However, they operate on different principles than the Italian or Russian Mafias and are much like the so-called "Triad Gangs" of Hong Kong. Yakuza stress the so-called "bushido" or code of honor of the old samurai. Also, unlike their counterparts in the West, they're not afraid to be open about their connections. They often own buildings, put out publications and even hand out "meisei", or calling cards with the gang's name on them. If a yakuza member messes up, don't expect to find him in the bottom of Tokyo Bay with concrete overshoes; usually they will kill themselves instead since they let their gang down. The usual trend in Western organized criminal cartels has been to downplay such connections (exceptions being seen in Al Capone and John Gotti) and to enforce discipline by "rubbing out" disloyal members.

Besides the National Police, there are local police departments as well; the most famous is the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department (TMPD). However, the chiefs of all local police forces are answerable to the Chief of the National Police. The National Police also have a special unit called the Mobile Unit, which specializes in riot control (which it has been called on to do many times in postwar Japan); the image of the Mobile Unit officer in riot gear, nightstick and body length shield is known throughout the world.

As far as prosecution is concerned, Japanese law enforcement has been pretty good in getting criminals to confess. Though excessive force is rarely used, sometimes it is needed, though that has further lent to the reputation of cautious suspicion of the police. As far as the judicial process is concerned, Japan has been surprisingly known more for its leniency than for any severity. How a defendant acts while at trial weighs as much if not more than his actions prior to trial. Signs of remorse could help reduce a sentence. Case in point: the sentence handed to the American servicemen in 1995 for raping a schoolgirl in Okinawa (ten years hard labor) might seen severe in our eyes, but to the Japanese it was appropriate since the suspects showed no remorse for their actions. Prosecutors (equivalent to our DA's) often have a 99% conviction rate. Further, until the Tokugawa era, there was no capital punishment. It was first instituted during that era in the form of crucifixion, which the leadership found out about from the Jesuit priests who had visited in the 16th Century. Today, the method of execution is hanging. Japan's system of law is based more on the code system of Europe than on the Anglo-American common law, though some common law concepts have taken hold in postwar Japan.

g. Local Government

Local government in Japan is pretty clear-cut. The highest form of local government are the 47 prefectures. In theory, there are four types of prefectures: 1) Most--43--are called "ken", or regular prefectures; many of them are named after an important city (such as Nagano-ken, Nagasaki-ken or Saga-ken); 2) Hokkaido, the northernmost prefecture (and the most rural) is a "do", or circuit prefecture; 3) Osaka and Kyoto are "fu", or municipal prefectures; and 4) Tokyo is a "to", or metropolitan prefecture (that last status is roughly equivalent to Washington being in the District of Columbia or Mexico City being in the Federal District or Canberra being in Australian Capitol Territory). All prefectures, however, have the same government structure: they have an elected governor and a unicameral (one-house) prefectural assembly.

Below the prefectures are municipalities. There are three types, depending on population: 1) villages have fewer than 30,000 residents; 2) towns have between 30,000 and 50,000 residents; and 3) cities have more than 50,000 residents. All three forms of municipalities have an elected mayor and council; councilmen are elected at-large from all villages, towns and small cities, while in larger cities they are elected by "ku" or wards like American city councilmen often are (it is of note that although Tokyo itself is divided into wards, it has no city government; it is instead governed by its prefectural governor and prefectural assembly; thus Gov. Nagai in my story governs Tokyo and the rest of the municipalities of Tokyo-to directly).

h. Defense

Since 1954, Japan has relied on its Self-Defense Force for protection. These replaced the old Imperial Army, Imperial Army Air Force and Imperial Navy of World War II. First controversial, the SDF has been accepted by the Japanese as necessary to protect their peaceful society (after all, Switzerland, which is neutral as well as peaceful, depends on its armed forces to keep it that way). Interestingly, many of the companies that made armaments for Japan during World War II are still making them for the SDF; Mitsubishi, which made the infamous A6M fighter (known here as the Zero) made the F‑4EJ Phantom, based on the McDonnell-Douglas F-4 Phantom II. The SDF is divided into Ground, Air and Sea Divisions. Interestingly, Japan is now the third highest spender for defense in terms of GDP (gross domestic product) in the world. However, much of Japan's defense is still reliant on American troops, as per a 1951 Security Agreement that has been renewed in 1960 and 1970. The bases, mainly in Okinawa-ken, have been a source of controversy, however, as the unfortunate case of the raping of a schoolgirl in 1995 brought out. One further curiosity: the version of the national flag that was used by the militarist regime--an off-centered red "Rising Sun" with red rays on a white field‑‑survives today as the ensign of the Sea Self-Defense Force.

i. Political Parties

Japan has several political parties. The best known is the right-of-center Liberal Democratic Party, which--except for a couple of breaks--has governed since 1955. Others include the Socialist, Democratic Socialist, Communist, and the Komeito, or Clean Government, which gets its backing from the Soka Gakki sect of Buddhism. To put the parties in the traditional left-to-right political spectrum, they would run thus: Communist, Socialist, Democratic Socialist, Liberal Democratic, and Komieto. More recently, a group of break-away LDP members have formed the Democratic Party, which posed a serious challenge in the recent elections for the House of Councillors.

One surprising thing about the LDP is that it is composed of various factions, usually built around a leader or around a stand on various areas of controversy. However, despite that, the LDP as a whole functions rather well, and is a cross between the weak, decentralized party system of the United States and the strong, centralized, disciplined parties of Great Britain and Europe. The other parties, however, are more centralized and disciplined (especially the Communists and Komieto).

Recently, the LDP has suffered some major setbacks. In the most recent elections for the House of Councillors in 1995 and 1998, it lost control of that house. Some experts (though they've been long been saying this for years) are saying that it is only a matter of time before the LDP loses its majority in the House of Representatives as well. Some, of course, dismiss that notion, but then again, no one thought the Democrats were going to lose control of Congress in 1994, either.

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3. Religious Practices

Japan today has three religions of note: 1) Shinto, the indigenous religion; 2) Buddhism, which was imported from China and Korea; and 3) a small but considerable Christian minority.

a. Shinto

Shinto is the Chinese word for what the Japanese call "Kami no Michi"; both terms mean "the way of the gods". Shinto is the oldest of the three religions in Japan and the only one that developed in Japan itself.

In describing Shinto, there are several areas that have to be looked at: 1) its pantheon, or group of gods; 2) the role of the priests; 3) places of worship; 4) moral code and sacred texts; 5) development; and 6) Shinto today.

At eight million "kami" (gods) and "megami" (goddesses), Shinto has the most complex pantheon of any major world religion. The best known to Americans is Amaterasu-Omikami, the Great Heaven Shining Deity who serves as the Sun Goddess. However, she does not hold the place of being the head of the Shinto pantheon as Zeus did to the Greeks or Odin to the Vikings, despite the fact that she figures prominently due to Jimmu Tenno--the legendary first Emperor of Japan--claiming her as an ancestor. In fact, when one looks at Shinto, it's hard to tell what god or what priest or whoever at all is in charge. If ever there was a religion so decentralized, Shinto is it.

Much of that decentralization and complexity was due to the attempts by Buddhist monks and Shinto priests alike to equate their gods with the other religion's pantheon, not unlike what the Romans did when they appropriated the Greek pantheon for themselves (i.e. Zeus becomes Jupiter, Hera becomes Juno, etc.).

Other gods besides Amaterasu-Omikami include her brother, Susano, God of the Wind and of Yomi, the World of the Dead (unlike Buddhism and Christianity, and much like the ancient Greeks, Shinto holds that all who die--good, bad or indifferent--go to Yomi; there's nothing like Heaven or Hell in Shinto); Kannon, the Goddess of Mercy (who figures in the anime Doomed Megalopolis), Benton, the Goddess of Luck and Womanly Arts (she figures prominently in Rumiko Takahashi's classic TV anime series Urusei Yatsura) and Uzume, the Dread Queen of Heaven. There are also the original gods, Izamagi and Izanami, who created Japan by stirring up mud from the ocean floor with their spear. The other gods and goddesses as well as the Japanese are supposed to be descended from them, or so the legend goes.

It is easy to tell Shinto priests from Buddhist monks and priests. Shinto priests usually wear a white robe and a hakama, which are loose-fitting trousers. Hakama can be blue, red or even white. Special robes and headdresses are worn for special occasions. Unlike other religions, women have very much an equal role in Shinto as the men. In fact, Shinto priestesses are called "miko". Miko usually are called to cast out evil demons and interpret the will of the gods. Perhaps the best known miko to American fans of anime is Hino Rei (or Raye Hino), miko of Sendai Hill Shrine (or Cherry Hill Temple) in Naoko Takeuchi's hit series Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon. Others include Sakura from Urusei Yatsura, Keiko from Doomed Megalopolis and Ayaka Kisaragi of Phantom Quest Corporation. When exorcising demons, they usually throw a scroll with the Japanese phrase "Akuryo taisan," which means, "Begone, demon!" and usually shout that phrase out as well (DIC really dropped the ball on that score when they dubbed Sailor Moon into English; Sailor Mars winds up saying "I call forth the power of Mars" when she throws the scroll). Miko, in other words, were for centuries the original "Ghostbusters," without benefit of proton packs or snotty Brooklynese-sounding secretaries.

Shinto places of worship are called shrines. They are distinguished by their "torii" or gateways that stand in front of them. Sendai Hill Shrine in Sailor Moon is such a Shinto shrine (once again DIC muffed it up by calling it Cherry Hill Temple; temples are Buddhist places of worship). Among the more famous are Meiji Shrine in Tokyo (dedicated to the Meiji Emperor); Yasukuni Shrine, also in Tokyo (which serves roughly as their Arlington Cemetery/Tomb of the Unknown Soldier); the shrine to Amaterasu-Omikami in Ine; and Itsukushima Shrine on Miyajima in the Inland Sea, considered one of the "Three Famous Landscapes of Japan" due to the torii being right out in the sea.

Shinto is unique among the world's major religions in that it has no moral code or sacred texts as such. There is nothing in Shinto equivalent to the Ten Commandments or the Golden Rule; its only concerns are about purity of body and mind (which is why Japanese love bathing) and an abhorrence of death (Yomi, the World of the Dead, is thought to be a place of corruption and decay). Thus almost all funerals in Japan are Buddhist rites, since Buddhism at least has some sense of Heaven and Hell. That is also why morality in Japan is not based on religion as much as it is on human relations, which was taken from Confucianism. As for sacred texts, the closest are the Nihongi and the Kojiki, both written in AD 8th Century. Both contain myths and legends about the Shinto pantheon and some early history of Japan; however, since different versions of the myths circulated at the time, the scribes wrote all the versions down.

Shinto had a gradual development over the centuries. As stated, the myths were only written down in AD 8th Century. The arrival of Buddhism complicated matters somewhat; for the first and perhaps only time in human history, a nation allowed two religions to coexist peacefully. In fact, Shinto priests and Buddhist monks worked out ways in describing their pantheons in terms of the other religion's gods. Matters, however, took a drastic turn in the Meiji Restoration, when the genro declared Shinto the established religion in imitation of the European powers. This stage of "State Shinto," however, was more patriotic and militaristic in bent than religious, and when the religion was disestablished at the insistence of American occupation forces, it returned to its peaceful ways. During this time, the divine origin of the Emperor was especially stressed, though Hirohito denounced all divine claims in 1946, once again at the insistence of the Americans.

Today Shinto is still practiced, but it has become more peripheral in Japanese life, though there are still throngs of faithful followers and the most popular shrines still get many visitors. Since it was disestablished as the state religion, Shinto has splintered into thirteen sects; the most important among them is Tenriko, based in Tenri City in Nara-ken; healing by faith plays a central role in that sect. Many Japanese still observe some important days in Shinto, especially the ritual of taking children to the local shrine at three, five and seven years of age. People still buy good luck charms for all occasions: to do well in school; for a safe journey; for safe driving (like Miyuki did in Part 3 of You're Under Arrest!); etc. Frankly, most Japanese, though registered as belonging to one faith or another, profess to not following any at all. This is not to say that they're either agnostic or atheist; they just do not feel that it plays a significant role in their lives. To them religion is not an opiate of the people or a crutch much as it is time-honored traditions that they dutifully carry on like the day's business and then pass on to their children like a cherished family heirloom.

b. Buddhism

If Shinto has suffered some setbacks in the 20th Century, Buddhism has continued to flourish. Imported from China and Korea, the major sects of Buddhism in Japan include Zen, Shingon, Soka Gakki, Trantric, Pure Land, True Land and Nichiren. In Buddhism--an offshoot of India's Hinduism--it was held that one could achieve Nirvana by overcoming human desires that enslave humans to the cycle of reincarnation and karma. Of course the most famous aspect of Buddhism to Americans is Zen meditation, where Buddhist monks sit in lotus positions and chant. Buddhist places or worship are called temples, and there are monasteries as well. The most famous Buddhist festival in Japan is Bon, where the faithful launch miniature lighted boats into the water in memory of departed souls.

c. Christianity

Surprisingly, about 2% of Japanese are Christians. Christianity was brought over by St. Francis Xavier in 1549. About 500,000 were converted before the Tokugawa shogunate stamped out the faith in 1638. After the Meiji Restoration, Christianity was at least tolerated again, and the 1947 Constitution granted complete religious freedom (which is not a stretch considering that Shinto and Buddhism coexisted without conflict for centuries). The Japanese Christian community is evenly split between Catholic and Protestant. As for the Catholics, it has been noted that Empress Michiko is herself a Catholic, and one of the most beautiful Catholic cathedrals in Asia stands in Nagasaki (it survived the atomic bombing of 1945). As for Protestants, 40% of them belong to the United Church of Christ in Japan; although this was a creation of the 1930's military regime, it had its roots back to a "No Church" movement started by Chimura Kanzo, who thought that sectarianism was repugnant. The second biggest group of Protestants belong to the Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod. There is a far-wider acceptance of Christianity in Japan today than ever before; Christmas has even become a "semi-official" holiday there, though admittedly some of the meaning is lost in the translation, and New Year's Day is the big family holiday for that time of the year there.

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4. Education

Japan has been the envy of the world for its educational system. One of the reasons for Japan's sudden success (especially after World War II) has been that is has among the most highly educated people in the world.

When the educational system was reformed after the war, it was molded after the American system. There are six years of elementary school; three of junior high; three of high school and four of university. Education to the ninth grade is free and compulsory, though most do go to high school and a considerable number go to college. The educational system is a mixture of public, private and parochial institutions as in the United States.

Overseeing the entire educational system is the Education Ministry, which has broad powers to approve textbooks (the ministry has taken some heat in this regard as to how Japan's involvement in World War II is portrayed), appropriate money, and set curriculum. There are local Boards of Education, but these are appointed by local mayors and prefectural governors and usually take their cues from the national ministry.

As for universities, the most famous is Tokyo University, the first of the "national universities". Other national universities are Kyoto, Tohoku, Kyushu and Hokkaido. Below these are the private universities, the most famous being Keio and Waseda, and junior colleges, or as the Japanese call them "short-term universities".

Japanese education is rather strenuous; teaching is committed to memory and is by rote, especially in learning the Japanese written language. Many students go to a special "juku" or cram school so they can prepare for the important examinations for high school and university; in Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon, Mizuno Ami goes to a "juku" (DIC flubbed it up when it introduced Amy; she says that she goes to a special computer school, but the monster that attacks her school calls it a cram school). The strenuous time leading to the exams is called "examination Hell" and rather overbearing mothers who oversee all aspects of their children's education are called "education mothers" (Usagi's mother in Sailor Moon is such a "education mother"; she often scolds her for her lazy study habits).

Perhaps the most well-known aspect of Japanese education as far as American fans of anime is concerned is that most students wear uniforms. The generic term for that is "seifuku". Elementary schoolchildren often wear sweaters with the school crest embalzoned on them and either knickers or knee-length pants for boys or knee-length skirts for girls; also, they often wear white hats going to and from school (so they can be seen easier in traffic). In junior high school (and in some high schools), the boys wear what looks like a Chinese aristocrat's outfit: a navy blue suit with big brass buttons and a high collar. As for the girls, the most well-known outfit is the "seirafuku" or sailor suit. This is actually adapted from the uniforms worn by enlisted sailors in the Imperial Japanese Navy in the late 19th Century and early 20th Century, and itself was based on those worn by sailors in the British Royal Navy, which lent technical assistance to Japan at that time. The seirafuku is a sailor blouse with the sailor collar, a scarf and usually a blue pleated skirt (though the actual colors will vary with the school); further, as in naval tradition, there is a blue outfit for winter and a white outfit for summer. Among the more famous seirafuku-clad heroines in anime include A-ko Magami from Project A-ko; all of the Sailor Senshi from Sailor Moon (theirs are a bit modified; they're sleeveless shirts, miniskirts and either go-go boots a/la/Nancy Sinatra or high heeled shoes); All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku-Nuku; the Legendary Magic Knights of Magic Knight Rayearth; and Lum from Urusei Yatsura. There's actually been an industry built around magazines and pin-up photos of seirafuku-clad schoolgirls in Japan (though some of it goes over the line into pornography). In high school, three-piece business suits are worn by both boys and girls (blazer, vest, collared shirt, tie, and pants or skirt). Uniforms used to be mandated at universities, but now they're not.

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5. Business

One of the amazing aspects of Japan was its ability to rapidly convert from a medieval economy to a modern capitalist economy in the space of about a century and a half. Today Japan has one of the most modern and internationally competitive economic climates in the world.

The floodgates for such change were opened during the Meiji Restoration. Some of the companies well known on both sides of the Pacific got their start then like Mitsubishi and Matsushita, though some like Mitsui and Kikkoman (the soy sauce maker) had their roots back to Tokugawa times, others like Toyota were founded in the early 20th Century and some like Sony were founded after World War II (the founders began by scrounging bombed out areas of Tokyo to salvage radio parts!). Some of these companies were actually founded by old samurai families.

From the Meiji Restoration to the end of World War II, the companies that dominated were called zaibatsu. These zaibatsu usually centered around a bank and had heavy industries, aerospace, chemicals, and other companies built around them. They were not constructed haphazardly like American conglomerates, nor did most act like monopolies; often even two divisions of the same zaibatsu found themselves in competition with each other as well as other companies; though, especially during the war, cartels often were formed.

After the war, these zaibatsu were broken up at American insistence. However, many of these companies still have their old names, even if they're not part of the company anymore (i.e. Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Mitsubishi Bank). Often, in Japan, the brand name used in the United States is as well known as the Japanese brand, though some changes are made; in Japan, Matsushita's principal electronics company, Panasonic, is actually known as National, while the famed Bridgestone tires is actually the transliteration of the last name of the person who founded the company. However, in Japan, a Canon is a Canon and a Nikon is a Nikon.

One aspect known to Americans is the famed lifetime employment practices. Once a person (who is hired after passing examinations) is taken on, he can usually count on being there until he retires, usually at 55. However, this normally applies only to male office workers, called "salarymen" and usually doesn't include factory workers or female workers, who are called "OL" or office ladies; these ladies, usually wearing a blue suit, usually wait upon visitors to the company, serve secretarial duties and pour tea (much like American secretaries are usually expected to pour coffee for the boss). With the recent economic downturn, however, these practices have taken somewhat of a beating (though to be fair, the CEO of Ban Dai, the toymaker, said he wouldn't hesitate to fire those who didn't agree with him or did their best).

One assumption made about Japanese business is that it's mainly non-union. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are three important unions: Sohyo (which covers white collar workers and government employees), Domei (consisting of blue-collar workers) and Nikkyoso (which represents teachers and professors). Management-labor relations are not as antagonistic as they are in the United States; though there's the famed "spring offensive" for better wages and working conditions, these are mainly peaceful demonstrations held before the day's work begins; real strikes that cripple production rarely occur. Further, instead of defending obsolete jobs by "featherbedding", the unions and the companies help affected employees retrain for new jobs in the same company. Further, locals of unions are not organized by geographic region as much as they are organized by a company-to-company basis (i.e. one local covers Mitsubishi employees; another covers those of Toyota).

Another hallmark of Japanese business is that decisions are usually made on a consensus basis. Major decisions are made after consultation with middle and lower management as well as the actual workers. This sharply contrasts to what we're accustomed to in the United States: the image of a Julius Caesar Dithers or an Ebeneezer Scrooge or a Cosmo Spacely or a Sylvester Slate yelling at his employees to get to work and that they'll not be getting a raise. Such persons are viewed as downright dictatorial in Japanese terms. The Japanese generally are hard-working people and have deep devotion to the companies that employ them; most workers and management do not wish to do anything that would harm the company's long-term outlook.

Another matter that needs to be looked at is what happens at the beginning of the day. Usually the employees gather in a large building, where they sing the company song and hear the company creed read aloud. Then usually a brief pep talk is held as well as an overview of the day's business.

One aspect of Japanese business that has dramatically improved is quality control. William Deming arrived after the war to teach quality control to the Japanese; they listened and learned very well. By the 1980's, the term "Made in Japan" was no longer a joke; it became a symbol of quality. The Japanese MITI (Ministry of International Trade and Industry) even gives out an award called the Deming Prize to the company that has the best quality control.

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6. Social Conditions

One last area that needs to be looked at is the condition of society in Japan. Several areas naturally suggest themselves: 1.) Morality; 2.) Mass Media; 3.) The Status of Women; 4.) The Status of Children; 5.) Individuals vs. Groups; and 6.) Hierarchy.

a. Morality

The Japanese, contrary to popular belief, are not amoral or immoral. They are a very moral people. However, their basis for their morality is different than what we're used to seeing in the West.

The Judeo-Christian morality is based on religion. We have our Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule, etc. Japanese, however, view morality as a product of human relations. As stated, Shinto has nothing that says "Thou shalt not do this or that"; it is merely a religion that celebrates the beauty of nature and of life (Shinto services are rather loud, boisterous affairs, and consumption of alcohol, especially sake or beer, is common); further, while Buddhism does have a moral code, it is downplayed in Japan mainly because most become Buddhist (other than those who adhere to it for life) upon death, and most funerals are Buddhist, and even the Buddhist concept of Heaven and Hell is not stressed as much. The Japanese view the Universe mainly as an amoral, indifferent place, and that death (as symbolized by Yomi in Shinto) is a place of corruption and decay; to Shinto, death is oblivion; there's no Heaven, Hell, Nirvana or Paradise. The morals that the Japanese have are mainly based on Confucianism and the complex relationships that Kung Fu-tzu (or Master Kung, as he's always called by Asians) himself formulated. After all, it was Master Kung who formulated the precept to treat others in the same manner that you wish to be treated yourself (I think that sounds better than the old "Do unto others. . ."); Confucianism itself is called by East Asians "the philosophy of the teachers".

It is for those reasons that matters that to us may be downright immoral or at least indecent are dismissed as trivial by the Japanese. For instance, other than on HBO or Cinemax, one wouldn't dare show a topless lady in prime time television here in the United States; in Japan, nudity is accepted since families often bathe together and mixed bathing in public places often occurs. There is the inevitable culture clash, though: A Christian group screamed blue murder at 20th Century-Fox when it distributed the Hayao Miyazaki classic My Neighbor Totoro because the father of the two girls was bathing with them; there was a similar scene in an episode of Sailor Moon where the Tsukino family is bathing together at a typical Japanese resort. However, both scenes are shown in Japan without much ado. Sure, there's the scene in Project A-ko where A-ko takes off her nightshirt, runs topless to her closet and grabs a bra and a scene in Burn Up! W where officer Rio nude bungee jumps, and all those nude scenes and breast jokes in "Ranma 1/2" (which was created by a woman, by the way), but perhaps the best known nude scenes (other than those in "spooge" or pornographic efforts like Urostukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend or Venus 5) is the "transformation sequence" in "magic girl" shows like Sailor Moon or Magic Knight Rayearth (just to be fair, Son Goku romps in the altogether quite frequently in "Dragon Ball"). This was actually created by one of Japan's more controversial anime creators, Go Nagai, for his android heroine Cutey Honey. This could also explain why the Japanese are not as alarmed at pornography like we are here. Pornography is not viewed as evil over there, though until recently the only restriction placed on it was that nude photographs could not have any pubic hair displayed (the yakuza made a killing illegally importing American versions of Playboy and Penthouse for that reason). What the West seems to forget is that nude does not always equal sexy, especially if it involves women's breasts. Seeing A-ko nude wasn't made to titillate; it just proves just how human she really is beneath her superhuman exterior (after all, when was the last time you saw a teenage Clark Kent wake up late for school?).

Another area where Japanese morality is different from the West's is in alcohol. The Japanese are no more as prone to alcoholism than the French. Of course, sake, or rice wine, is popular, but so is beer (one brand known to Americans is Kirin). The Japanese do seem to become drunk easier than most; some say that is due to a lack of an enzyme that processes alcohol. Drunkenness is almost freely forgiven, the only exception is for DWI; being caught DWI even once results in having your license revoked for life. Alcoholic consumption is often part of business meetings, family affairs and even Shinto religious festivals (where even teenagers are inebriated). Sometimes, students do have a beer during study time (as in a couple of scenes in Here is Greenwood) but it doesn't seem to affect their study habits. It may help that a person has to be 19 (starting in 1999, 20) before he or she can get a driver's license in explaining the lack of an adolescent drinking problem in Japan.

Sex is another area of difference in Japanese vs. Western morality. The Japanese view sex as just part of nature. There was once a double standard (all too well-known to us here) of men being promiscuous and women having to be "pure", though this is disappearing. Further, teenage sex and pregnancy rarely occur because of the high supervision such teens have at home and at school. If extramarital sex (at the teenage or adult level) occurs, it is the results and not the actual act that most people worry about.

The most famous difference is in the view of suicide. In the West, suicide is as big (if not bigger) a sin than to kill others. However, the Japanese feel that suicide is an honorable option out of a drastic situation if all others have been exhausted. This, of course, had its heyday during the shogunal times, where samurai often committed seppuku if captured or faced other situations. Seppuku is the preferred term for what is known in the West as hara-kiri; although both mean, "slitting of the belly", hara-kiri carries a negative connotation. Further, not all seppuku was committed the same way. Traditionally, seppuku was committed by taking the blade of the samurai sword, slitting the abdomen with it and then cutting the neck (if someone was assisting, he delivered a blow to the back of the neck with a second sword). However, women committed seppuku differently. They stabbed themselves through the neck. Seppuku rarely occurs today; hanging is now the preferred method.

b. Mass Media

Mass media is about as powerful in Japan as it is in the U. S. Several areas once again suggest themselves naturally: 1) Print media; 2) Sports; 3) Movies and TV; and 4) Music

Japanese are very avid readers. Perhaps the most famous publications to Americans are manga, or comic books. Tezuka Osamu, the legendary creator of Tetsuwan Atom and Jungle Taitei (or as we know them here Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion) almost single-handedly created the medium after the war, in fact, he is still called manga no kami-sama, or "the god of comics" in Japan and has a museum dedicated to him. Tezuka has been called "The Walt Disney of Japan", though he seems to be more suited to be Japan's Stan Lee or Siegel and Shuster. There have been other famous manga artists like Monkey Punch (Lupin III: Tales of the Wolf); Go Nagai (Shameless School; Cutey Honey; TranZor Z); Rumiko Takahashi (Urusei Yatsura; Ranma ½); the four-woman studio CLAMP (Magic Knight Rayearth; Tokyo Babylon; RG Veda); Matsamune Shirow (Dominion Tank Police; Ghost in the Shell) and Naoko Takeuchi (Sailor Moon). In fact, it's been estimated that two out of every five publications sold in Japan are manga, and such publications as Shonen Jump (the home of Akira Toryama's Dragon Ball) have among the highest circulations of any publication in the world.

Japan also has some well-known newspapers and magazines. Among the best known newspapers are " Yomiuri Shimbun; Asahi Shimbun; Mainichi Shimbun; Samkei; Nihon Keizai (their equivalent to our Wall Street Journal); Hokkaido Shimbun; Tokyo Shimbun; Chunichi; Nishi Nippon and Japan Times (which is printed in English). Magazines do not play as much a role in Japan as they do in the U.S., but there are specialized magazines covering various hobbies and special interests.

The Japanese are avid sports fans. There are, of course, some sports that originated in Japan itself. Sumo wrestling, where tall, large, muscular men grapple with each other and try to push the other person out of the ring, is the best known; sumo has some connections to Shinto, and recently an American, Akebono, made history by becoming the first foreigner to become grand champion in the sport. More recently, one of the basho or tournaments was held in Vancouver, Canada; only a few times have basho been held outside of Japan. Jujitsu and judo (which developed out of jujitsu) are the best known martial arts, as is kendo, or fencing with bamboo sticks. However, the best known sport to Americans is actually a sport Americans themselves created: baseball. Japan has two major leagues: The Central League and the Pacific League, both with six teams each. At the end of each season, they play a Japan Series much like our World Series. Sadaharo Oh, who played for the Tokyo Yomiuri Giants, hit 868 home runs, or 113 more than Hank Aaron; another player once had an "iron man" streak longer than Lou Gherig's, though Cal Ripken eventually broke even that one! There is a minor league system like we have here as well. Soccer, American rules football, basketball and even hockey are beginning to attract crowds now (all four major leagues here in the U.S. have played exhibition games in Japan, and even some regular season games). Japan has hosted three Olympics: the 1964 Summer Games in Tokyo; the 1972 Winter Games in Sapporo and the 1998 Winter Games in Nagano. In 2002, Japan will co-host the World Cup Soccer Tournament with South Korea, a first for the event.

Japanese are also very avid movie and TV watchers. Outside Hollywood, Japan is a leading producer of films and are avid moviegoers (though India has even more productive studios and even more avid moviegoers). Perhaps the best known movie studios are Toho (home to Godzilla, or as the Japanese call him, Gojira) and Toei (home to Go Renjaa, or as we know them, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers). The best known director to Americans is Akira Kurosawa; his films include Rashomon (a story told in several different points of view); The Seven Samurai (which served as the basis for the American Western The Magnificent Seven) and Ran (which is essentially William Shakespeare's King Lear set in feudal Japan). There are other well-known films; one that made a lot of noise recently was Shall We Dance?, which was about a salaryman who takes up ballroom dancing.

However, the best known films to Americans are the kaiju or rubber-suited monster movies. The best known, of course, is 1954's Godzilla: King of the Monsters (the scenes with Raymond Burr in them were added by the American distributor); others include Mothra; Ghirda; Gamera; and Rodan. The Japanese are also well known for some several science-fiction efforts like Johnny Soko and his Flying Robot (which served as the inspiration for Giant Robo) and Zeiram (which inspired Iria: Zeiram the Animation).

Japanese TV is a mixture of American and British practices. As in the U.S and the U. K., the networks themselves are a mixture of public and private companies. The best known is Nippon Hoso Kyoku, or NHK, which translates to Japan Broadcasting Office, or Japan Broadcasting Corporation. NHK is Japan's PBS; in fact, it is two networks. One has educational fare like PBS; the other has the type of programs that American TV networks present. There are commercial networks that either have a national reach or are seen regionally, like Asahi TV (home to Sailor Moon); Tokyo Broadcasting System; and Fuji TV. There are no seasons as such as in the U.S.; shows continue until they reach a logical ending. However, a popular show can go on for several seasons and sometimes its title will be altered to stress that fact (for instance, Sailor Moon; Sailor Moon R; etc.). You don't need a license to own a TV in Japan as is the case in Great Britain; however, NHK gets its funding from a special tax imposed on TV's. Overall, the actual programming is more like American TV than British, with an emphasis on comedy and drama.

The best known TV and movies to most Americans are anime and sentai, or "battle team" shows. Sentai has been around almost as long as anime. Among the earliest was Ultraman. The best known, however, is the aforementioned Go Renjaa; though several others have made their way here like Masked Rider; Superhuman Samurai Cyber Squad; VR Troopers and Big Bad Beetleborgs.

As for anime, the list of well-known TV shows, movies and OAV's (original animation videos, or direct-to-video releases) is vast: Astro Boy; Speed Racer (or Mach Go Go Go); Robotech (or Superdimensional Fortress Macross); Kimba the White Lion; Sailor Moon; Dragon Ball; Project A-ko; Bubblegum Crisis; Dominion Tank Police; Patlabor; You're Under Arrest!; Battle of the Planets (or Science Ninja Team Gatchaman); Burn Up!; Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend; Samurai Pizza Cats; Star Blazers (or Space Battleship Yamato); and Urusei Yatsura, just to name but a few.

One form of TV drama has been catching on with Americans recently: the live‑action samurai show. One that is getting attention has been Lone Wolf and Cub, based on the famous manga of the same name.

One more matter before I move away from anime; recently, much has been made of an actress calling herself Apollo Smile; she calls herself the first "living" anime character. She bleached her hair blonde and done it up in ponytails and has her own anime and manga series as well as some hit tunes in Japan. Recently, she hosted the Sci-Fi Channel's Anime Week '98 festival. She also seems to speak very fluent English.

As far as music is concerned, perhaps the best known to American anime fans are the "pop idol" singers. If the 1960's and the alternative-rock scene of the 1990's were rife with here-today-gone-tomorrow bands and singers, for pop idol, that has been the case for decades. Today's hot singer may be a has-been by the next month. However, there have been a few bands and singers that have attracted attention in America. Perhaps the best known to teenagers and twentysomethings is the heavy metal band Loudness, who once toured with Quiet Riot; they contributed two songs to the anime film Odin: Photon Space Sailer Starlight. Also well known is Hiroshima, whose musical influences are more toward classical Japanese than modern rock; they did a song that appeared in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. There was a singing duo called Pink Lady who had their own short-lived TV series on NBC in the early 1980's (which featured actor-magician Jeff Altman); another band, The Plastics, made an appearance on the Canadian comedy series Second City Television (SCTV). Recently, Ciba Matto, a couple of Japanese women living in New York City, have attracted media attention, as well as Buffalo Daughter (the white rap band the Beastie Boys signed them to their Grand Royal label). Of course, there's also Yoko Ono, widow to former Beatle John Lennon. One well-known alternative rock band from Japan is Shonen Knife. A year or so back, there was even a computer-generated idol singer, "DK 95", or Date Kyoko as she was also known; however, anime had beaten her to the punch earlier than that: there was the virtual idol Sharon Apple in Macross Plus.

c. The Status of Women

It has been said that Japanese women are far behind American and European woman as far as equality is concerned. While it is true that they are behind in some areas as compared to their Western counterparts, they are in fact treated better than in comparable areas of Asia, where many nations follow Islam, and women of course have to go out covered literally from head to foot.

Historically speaking, woman have in some aspects been treated better in Japan than in other ancient cultures. Granted, samurai women were often treated as inferior wedding pawns, but in the countryside women often ran the rice paddies; this is especially true today, since in many instances the husband and children are now often than not seeking employment outside of the farm, and the children often leave for the big city. As stated earlier, Shinto and Buddhism are among a small number of major religions where woman have almost an equal role as men: there are female Buddhist monks and the aforementioned Shinto "miko" or priestesses.

As far as women in the suburbs and the cities, they have far more power than most Western authorities about Japan give them credit for. Although there are still quite a few stay-at-home mothers (as in the U.S., career women have grown, but not as much or as fast as here, since women workers are still considered temporary workers), they have powers that American feminists would not have thought possible. They have vast financial powers, including: control of the family budget; keeping their husbands on a strict allowance; decide what major purchases will be made; and often vigorous oversee their children's education (like Tsukino Ikuko does on "Sailor Moon", much to Usagi's chagrin!). Often it's been said that these powers make Japanese husbands rather meekish; perhaps to an extent it is true, but when most salarymen are out from dawn to late at night on their jobs or at hostess bars, women often are "wearing the pants in the family".

To be fair, there are feminist organizations in Japan. However, the militaristic approach of an organization like NOW is not the Japanese approach. While it is true that Japanese women face the same "glass ceiling" as their American sisters, they prefer to go around it rather than smashing it. Many women therefore go into business for themselves (some examples in anime: Osaka Naru's mother in Sailor Moon runs her own jewelry store; in Bubblegum Crisis, Linna is an exercise instructor.). Perhaps one of the most female-friendly businesses has been anime; among the most famous female anime artists have included Rumiko Takahashi; Naoko Takeuchi, the four-women studio CLAMP; Haigo Moto; and Kei Kunosake. Literature has also been female-friendly; in fact, the most famous Japanese novel (and the first ever written in history), The Tale of Genji, was written by Lady Shikibu Murasaki in the 11th Century. Most American feminists, however, think of the Japanese approach to sexual equality as a "separate-but-equal" approach that does not reap the same results as the confrontational approach they've been using. However, the Japanese methods may be reaping more long-term rewards. In the U.S., women seem more comfortable working with their peers than alongside men, and even if they're not facing the same kind of discrimination that their mothers did, they're now facing a different, more subtle kind of discrimination.

d. The Status of Children

Children are considered very valuable to Japanese parents; in fact, one of the major holidays in Japan is called "Children's Day"; though this used to be exclusively a boys' holiday, it is now considered one for girls as well.

The one paramount thing that is stressed to children is the importance of their education. Even the most crowded house or apartment will have plenty of study room for the children. Birth control and abortion are not as controversial in Japan as in the United States because the size of families is often dictated by how much a family can afford to educate their children more than anything else (to be fair, neither birth control or abortion is a hot-button issue; neither Shinto or Buddhism have any restrictions on either of them, and Japan has rather lax abortion laws that are not even enforced; further, there is virtually no teenage pregnancy problem).

As far as discipline, corporal punishment is almost unheard of; this is not because they have anti-spanking laws like Sweden (they do not), but rather traditionally persuasion has been seen to be better than force in disciplining children. The main motive used is shame. "People won't like you if you act that way" seems to be more effective to Japanese parents than hitting the buttocks with a belt. Also, whereas American parents often ground their children, Japanese children who misbehave are often locked out of their homes (like Usagi was on the very first episode of Sailor Moon). Frankly, most Japanese feel that the Western method of corporal punishment is repugnant and brutal. This is not to say that corporal punishment doesn't occur at times; it was quite frequent during the militarist rule of World War II.

Japanese teens are not as unruly as their American peers. Problems with drugs and alcohol are almost unknown, though teen smoking has been somewhat of a problem (Japan, not necessarily undeveloped, is one of the American tobacco companies' biggest foreign markets; this has been the case since the Japanese government eased its monopolistic control over tobacco in the 1980's). Further, the bosozuku or "speed tribes" of motorcycling youths are not like the Hell's Angels or Banditos in the U.S.; most are just enthusiastic about motorcycling and commit no worse crimes than breaking the speed limit. Japanese youths rebel in other ways, mainly in trying to alter their school uniforms or even dying their hair! Of course, at the universities, especially during the 1960's, there are still the occasional protests.

e. Individuals vs. Groups

One distinguishing hallmark of Japanese society is the stress of the group. Even in government there is a stress on group leadership; even in shogunal times the shogun often had his advisors, and Gen. Tojo was merely the hub holding the military leadership together in World War II (when things began to go badly for Japan, he meekly resigned the prime ministership). Most individual think of themselves as part of a company or of a family or of a community rather then as a single person. However, one should be careful to assign a "herd mentality" to the Japanese. There are ample opportunities for Japanese to prove their individuality. Nowhere is this more apparent than in their literature; often authors write of their own struggles against what they feel to be a "conformist" society (one Japanese author, Yasunari Kawabata, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1968, one of his stories, The Izu Dancer, can be seen in anime form in the series Animated Classics of Japanese Literature from Central Park Media).; the two well-known Japanese poetry styles--the seventeen syllable haiku and the thirty-one syllable tanka--have also served as forums of individual expression.

f. Hierarchy

The Japanese concept of hierarchy is a bit different from most. Certainly, in the feudal past, there was the powerful elite at the top down to the peasant farmers at the bottom, but the combined effects of the Meiji Restoration reforms as well as World War II and thereafter have changed that; by the end of the war most wealth was eliminated, and inheritance taxes are pretty stiff (it's not unusual for a CEO of a major firm to "adopt" someone to take over the business when he retires). Most Japanese, if asked, say that they're middle class. Thus hierarchy has taken on a "vertical" rather than a "horizontal" orientation. Usually this is achieved by groups, with a clearly defined leader and followers. It should be noted, however, that leaders usually have a rather symbolic role and that actual authority or carrying out the business of a group may rest with some high-ranking junior officers or middle management. Thus a Japanese person says he's a company man rather than being in the middle class. No where is hierarchy better known to the American otaku than in education. Upperclassmen, or sempai, have considerable authority over their kohai or underclassmen, though the type of bullying seen in such anime as Oh! My Goddess or Here is Greenwood is quite rare (there has been a bullying problem in the Japanese educational system, but much of that is do to students acting differently than others; the Japanese are now only beginning to address this problem). This is different from the American situation, where it seems we've all heard stories of how the dumb jocks pick on the smart nerds and treat them like outcasts a/la/our heroine, Daria Morgendorffer.

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This is more or less a basic description of Japan in general. As stated, I highly encourage everyone out there to read Mr. Reischauer and Dr Levi's books that I have mentioned.

And now for. . .

PART 2: THE IN-JOKES!

s stated, the in-jokes are described by the data or chapter they're in. The use of "data" instead of chapters is in itself an in-joke; some anime series like Cyber City Oedo 808 and The Guyver are divided up into data instead of episodes. The title of this story is in itself a pun of sorts; it's a pun on the episode "The Misery Chick" as well as "Sailor Senshi".

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Author's Disclaimer

"So there": If you've ever seen the movie Airplane!, in the statement in the closing credits that states that copying the film is a Federal offense subject to criminal prosecution (yadda, yadda, yadda), after that, there are the words "So there." Next time you see that film, look very carefully for it.

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Data 1: Ebon Genesis Sweet Adeline

Data Title: The title of this data is a pun on the title of the anime series Neon Genesis Evangeleon from the legendary Gainex studios.

"A brown octopus": Often in American World War II propaganda, the military government of Japan was depicted as a greedy octopus trying to grab all of Asia with its tentacles; there was one good cartoon where the American eagle attacks such an octopus.

"Shaolin Temple": This famed temple (which does exist, by the way) does teach their monks the martial arts style of kung fu; it was mentioned in the 1970's cult classic TV series Kung Fu (it gets mentioned later in Data 16).

"Chang Ryu": One of the most common in-jokes in anime are characters that look vaguely familiar to other anime characters (i.e. Mari the bully from Project A-ko looking like Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star). I've tried a verbal approach to this. Ryu was named in honor of Ryu from Street Fighter.

"Amazana Yoriko": Yoriko's last name is a pun on "Amazon", the fabled female warrior tribe of Greek mythology; anime has quite a few of them like Shampoo from Ranma ½ and A-ko (her mother is supposed to be Wonder Woman, herself an Amazon).

"New Imperial Rule Assistance Association": It wasn't until the militarists were in control that they attempted to form some political organization. In 1940, all political parties were ordered to join an organization known as the Imperial Rule Assistance Association. This organization, however, was not as cohesive or as well-organized as the Italian Fascists or the German Nazis were.

"With a deft movement. . .pack up her briefcase": This is one of several references to Project A-ko I make in the story. In the first film, when we first meet A-ko, she wakes up late for school, takes off her nightshirt and races to her closet--wearing nothing but her panties--to grab a bra.

"Akbar el-Salaam/Allah Akbar": "Allah Akbar" is Arabic for "Allah (God) is great", thus Akbar's name is an ironic pun.

"Torymura Keiichi": I named him after Morisato Keiichi from Oh! My Goddess and the last name is sort of a pun on Dragon Ball creator Akira Toryama.

"Nagai Kenji": In this case, I named the Governor of Tokyo-to after controversial anime creator Go Nagai, responsible for Shameless School, Mazenger Z (known as TranZor Z here; it was the first of the "transforming robot" shows); Kekko Kamen; Cutey Honey; Violence Jack and Devilman.

"Linda Lovelace": Of course, she was the star of the famous (or infamous, depending on your politics on the subject) pornographic film Deep Throat.

"Red miniskirt": That was my favorite scene from "The Lab Brat": Quinn showing up in her living room wearing that red miniskirt and trying to seduce Kevin. I especially like the shot where you see Kevin and you see Quinn's back and legs. It kind of reminded me of that famous scene in The Graduate where Dustin Hoffman's character is seeing those legs.

"Ashley Judd": In the 1998 Academy Awards, Ashley, daughter of Naomi Judd and sister of Wynnona Judd (I'm not going to call her just by that first name; there's too many one-name performers as it is already!) showed up in a high-slitted dress, and everyone thought she wasn't wearing any underwear!

"Larry Flint": Of course, the controversial publisher of Hustler magazine and the subject of the film The People vs. Larry Flint.

"Gee, Commander. . .take over Lawndale": I couldn't resist spoofing the opening of Pinky and the Brain; you know, where Pinky asks, "Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?", and Brain responds by saying, "The same thing we do every night, Pinky: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" NARF! ZORT!

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Data 2: Ms. Morgendorffer Goes to Tokyo

Data title: OK, OK, I'll admit it: it's a pun on the Frank Capra film Mr. Smith Goes to Washington with Jimmy Stewart.

"Since the last time. . .changed your mind": In the R season of Sailor Moon, Ami was accepted for her pre-med studies in Germany but changed her mind about going when the Four Sisters attacked an ice cream stand and tried to deep freeze some people; that episode aired here as "Sailor Mercury--Moving On?" (if you look very carefully when she steps out of the taxi when she arrives at the airport, the main terminal is clearly marked in both Japanese and English as New Tokyo International Airport, the official name for Narita Airport, which is in the town called Narita in Chiba-ken).

"Mamoru had dumped me": Shortly after Chibi-Usa's arrival in the R season, Mamoru had an awful vision of The future Neo-Queen Serenity (Usagi) being attacked by the Wiseman and the Four Sisters and decided to break up with her for their safety (Usagi took it in her usual manner; she collapsed into a phone booth and cried; that has to be one of the most dramatic animated sequences ever made); that episode aired here as "The Cosmetic Caper"; they eventually got back together again (at least in the Japanese version; American audiences were left hanging after DIC pulled the plug on the show and will still be left hanging unless those 17 extra episode they made for Canada ever get brought over here).

"I've got small breasts": In a recent issue of Cracked magazine, they did a spoof of Daria called Duncia; in the spoof Daria/Duncia moans that she's short and has small breasts (she also complained about being drawn in the Beavis and Butt-Head style). It's also a jab at the R episode called "Steal Mamoru's Kiss! Ann's Snow White Strategy" (which aired here as "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall"), where Makoto says that she deserves the role of Snow White because she has the biggest breasts of the five Sailor Senshi (DIC, bowing to stupid American censorship rules, recast the line so that Lita says that she deserves the role because she has the most talent). OK, let's admit it, Daria does seem a bit flat-chested, but they seemed to give her some bust when she done herself up as Quinn towards the end of "Quinn the Brain" and you can see some bust on her in the makeovers of her as a gymnast and as a Baywatch lifeguard in the closing credits (my personal favorite makeover: Daria in a 60's go-go miniskirt and go-go boots).

"Hamada Ieyasu": I named him after Tokugawa Ieyasu, the shogun who inaugurated the isolationist Tokugawa feudal period of Japan.

Hi no Tori: This is Japanese for "Phoenix" or "Firebird". It's also an in-joke on Tezuka Osamu; his great manga epic was called Hi no Tori and spanned from the ancient past to the far future. So far, only two parts have been made into films: the live action Phoenix, which covers the part of the story set in prehistoric Japan, and the anime Phoenix 2772: Love's Cosmic Zone (also known as Space Firebird); which is set in the very far future. It's also a pun on some of the Japanese moon legends that inspired Takeuchi-sensei's creation of Sailor Moon; one legend states that the White Hare of Inaba stole some immortality pills and hid out on the moon. (Tsukino Usagi means "Moon Rabbit" in Japanese; most overseas versions of the show have her called Bunny [as well as MixxZine's translation of the manga], but DIC opted to call her Serena here because its derived from Selene, the Greek goddess of the moon).

"Morita Dojo": I named the dojo (or martial arts school) after Pat Morita, who played Arnold on Happy Days and the martial arts instructor on The Karate Kid films (he did narration on the historical anime film Great Conquest: The Romance of Three Kingdoms).

"Heated dinner table/rice cooker": These are two uniquely Japanese items that almost every house or apartment have there; it's a joke on the old American political promise of "A chicken in every pot".

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Data 3: Enter Sailor Misery Chick

"Magami Eiko": Another Project A-ko reference. Unfortunately, A-ko has the same habit of waking up late for school as Usagi does; however, she does have the advantage of having superhuman speed (much to C-ko's consternation!).

"Ms. S": I admit this was a carryover from the American version of Sailor Moon. In that version, the girls' junior high school English teacher is called Patricia Haruna, and Serena calls her "Ms. H".

"Duke Nukem 3D": In this videogame, Duke, the hero, has as one of his weapons a "Freezethrower", which shoots freezing water and turns any foe to ice; then you can go up to the creep and kick him to ice cubes. Daria had this in mind when she froze the crooks.

"Your face, your ass, what's the difference!": Duke actually says that in the game.

"Bob Schulz": This person, who lives in Fort Ann, New York, heads the All-County Taxpayers' Association. He's been known to file various frivolous lawsuits against New York State to stop various government projects because he feels that all his tax money's being funneled to New York City (which is a complete lie, by the way). Interesting Howard Stern trivia: Schulz was chosen to be the Libertarian Party candidate for Governor of New York State in 1994 after Stern dropped out because he wouldn't reveal his tax returns. In 1997, Schulz led an unsuccessful campaign to hold a constitutional convention in New York State; if he had it his way, welfare would be abolished and the Adirondack Park opened to clear-cut logging (as well as New York City and Long Island being left crippled financially so as to save Schulz's precious Upstate way of life). He also has his own radio talk show which originates from AM 590 WROW in Albany, New York; I don't know if its syndicated or not, but at least he has something else in common with Stern: both shows should be banned by the FCC for having obscene materiel in them.

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Data 4: Jihad at 25,000 Feet

Data title: This is a pun on the "Terror at 25,000 Feet" episode of The Twilight Zone; that episode had William Shatner (later to play Capt. James T. Kirk on the original Star Trek) as a passenger who thinks he sees a gremlin wrecking the plane he's traveling on; everyone else, of course, thinks he's nuts.

Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens: In 1979, Cat Stevens, whose "Morning Has Broken" was his biggest hit, retired from music when he fully converted to Islam and adopted his present name; unfortunately he took a lot of heat for taking Khomeini's side in the controversy surrounding Salman Rushdie, whose novel The Satanic Verses was condemned by Khomeini as being blasphemous to Islam. Recently, Islam cut a new album whose proceeds are to go to Islamic children in the former Yugoslavia who have been ravaged by the ethnic warfare there.

"Asahi TV": This was the network in Japan that Sailor Moon originally aired on! It was also the home of Dragon Ball; if you look very carefully during the episodes of Dragon Ball Z during the big fight between the Earth Special Forces and the Sayans, the camera crew has "AHO" on the backs of their jackets; this stands for the Japanese name for "Asahi Broadcasting Corporation".

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Data 5: The NIRAA Strikes!

"gaijin-shojo": gaijin is Japanese for "foreigner", while shojo is Japanese for girl; thus Gen. Torymura is calling Daria a "foreign-girl".

"HUD": This technical term stands of "Head-Up Display". This device is essentially a transparent computer monitor inside the cockpit which serves as a targeting mechanism for both machine guns and missiles for most jet fighters.

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Data 6: Enter the Solar Warrior

"Ty Cobb": There's been some controversy surrounding this song from Soundgarden, which appeared on their final album, 1996's Down on the Upside. Some fans feel that the song is about the infamous Detroit Tigers outfielder who had a reputation for brawling (this was depicted rather well in the 1994 film Cobb, with Tommy Lee Jones playing the title role). The band was rather loud in its insistence that the song has nothing to do with him, but I feel that it does. Besides, I keep having a recurring nightmare where Ty Cobb is chasing me with a big baseball bat while screaming "FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR BRAINS OUT WITH MY BAT!!!!!!!!!!!" There might be some deep Freudian meaning to all this, but I'll leave it to you amateur psychoanalysts to figure it out.

"Apocalypse Now/The End/Ride of the Valkyries": Of course, in Francis Ford Coppola's famed 1979 film, The Door's song "The End" (which, co-incidentally, is the final song on their 1967 debut album) figured prominently in the plot, as well as Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" from his opera Das Valkyrie from his Ring of the Nibelung tetralogy, which played in the film's famous scene of a Vietnam village being hit with napalm (and Robert Duvall's character saying "God, how I love the smell of burning napalm in the morning!", which I lampoon in my first Tokyo bombing scene). I remember when PBS aired the entire Ring tetralogy in 1990, and my mother watched the whole damn thing; she drove me nuts with her singing all week! I was tempted to buy a T-shirt that said "I survived The Ring Tetralogy!"

"Cornhulio": In Beavis and Butt-Head (where Daria originated), whenever Beavis ate too much sugar, he pulled his shirt over his head, went spastic, shook his fists and went "AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREAT CORNHULIO!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GIVE ME TEE PEE FOR MY BUNG HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!" It just made him more stupid than he already was.

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Data 7: Black Saturday at Lawndale

Data Title: This is a double pun. It's a pun on the titles of two films: the Western Bad Day at Black Rock and the disaster film Black Sunday (Which I make reference to later on).

"Jesse began to strum. . .'Peace, dudes!'': Mystik Spiral's performance of the National Anthem was inspired from Jimi Hendrix's legendary performance of that song at the original Woodstock concert of 1969. Well, almost; in Hendrix's version, after "Gave proof through the night/That our flag was still there", he played "Taps".

"Two-Face": Anyone who's read the Golden Age Batman stories can tell you that Two-Face's lucky coin is a double-obverse 1922 Peace Dollar; in the original comic book storyline, DA Harvey Dent was using that as evidence to convict a gangster; the gangster, however, splashed acid on Dent's face, scarring it up. While recovering at the hospital, Dent scratched one side of the coin up, and then used it to make major decisions when he embarked on his criminal career.

"Sailor Moon fan subbed video sale": This is a bit of an in-joke on an in-joke. In the original Japanese version of Sailor Moon, sometimes you can see storefronts selling merchandise for other anime, especially Magic Knight Rayearth. One episode was even set at an amusement park where one of the attractions was a stage show where the hero looked suspiciously like one of the members of the famed sentai show Go Renjaa (Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers to you).

"Surge Cola Stadium": This is my big "Up yours!" to the recent trend of corporations plastering their names all over sports facilities (you know, Coors Field, Pepsi Arena, Fleet Center, General Motors Place, etc.). If they ever rename Yankee Stadium "Con Ed Stadium" or Nassau County Veterans Memorial Coliseum "Northrup Grumman Arena" or even the Glens Falls Civic Center "Finch Pruyn Arena", I'm taking the next shuttle flight to Mars!

"Gabrielle": C'mon, let's admit it, doesn't Quinn look very much like Xena's sidekick, played by Renee O'Connor? It has to be the hairstyle and the bare midriff. I just got hooked on both Hercules and Xena recently, and I've got a big-time crush on Gabrielle!

"Chiller": When I was growing up in the suburban West End of Suffolk County on Long Island, one of the channels we got was WPIX-TV out of New York City (it's now called the WB 11). One of the regular shows it had in the 1970's was a Saturday afternoon (I think, please correct me if I'm wrong) movie show called "Chiller Theater". The show began just as I described it: the hand coming out of a pool of blood, setting out the letters that spelled the name of the show, and an eerie voice saying the name of the show as the hand went back into the pool of blood. That gave me big-time nightmares.

"Leda: The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko": This is one of my all-time favorite anime. It's about a teenage schoolgirl who writes a song expressing her love for this guy, but then she winds up in a parallel universe and has to stop an invasion of our world. It's pretty well-done, though in the dubbed version everyone has British accents, and in the video I got from The Right Stuf International, the trailer that followed the film was better‑looking than the actual film (it didn't seem as dated or worn out).

"Daria had the sensation. . .grab a bra": Another homage to that scene from the first Project A-ko film, I must confess!

"Now I know. . .'Kubla Kahn'": Colleridge was inspired to write his poem when he had an opium-induced dream. However, he was interrupted by an insurance salesman, lost his train of thought, and never got a chance to finish it.

"Black Sunday/The Hindenburger": Both films deal with airships. Black Sunday, which came out in 1977 was about a demented war veteran who steals a blimp and tries to fly it to the Super Bowl in Miami; he intends to kill some spectators by using a dart gun; a Middle-Eastern anti-terrorist agent vows to stop him. The film stars Bruce Dern and Robert Shaw. The Hindenburg (I mispronounced it because that's what Beavis and Butt‑Head probably would have done; however, I do remember seeing a parody called The Hindenburger on a Brit-com I only saw once in my entire life; I think it was called Grandma's Television Station or something like that. If you remember that series, e-mail me, please!) was a 1975 film with Gig Young, George C. Scott, Anne Bancroft, Rene Auberjonis and Burgess Meredith; it was about the 1937 disaster involving the explosion of the famed German dirigible. Believe it or not, the film got roasted on an episode of the 1987 animated series, Beverly Hills Teens, called "Miracle at the Teen Club". It was essentially a retelling of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol with the teens in the various roles; Buck Huckster was Scrooge and Pierce Thorndyke III was Marley. Pierce said, "We are going to look back at your life to see how became a miser!" Buck said, "Bah, Hindenburg!" Pierce says back "No! We're not going to see that film!" Rumor has it that a new film version is in the works of "The Hindenburg".

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Data 8: Ami Joins the Free Lawndalers

"American rules football player": Since Ami is Japanese, I had to distinguish our game of football from soccer, which the rest of the world calls "football" and even from the Canadian and Australian variants of the game. That's where the Australian version bails me out. They call it "Australian rules football", so I call ours "American rules football".

"Burkina Faso": One of my favorite countries with unusual names; it used to be called Upper Volta and is in Africa. The name change was made in 1984 after a military coup; in the native tongue it means "the land of the upright men".

"M*A*S*H": OK, OK, it's a visual joke; I used the asterisks like they did for the classic TV series with Alan Alda and Jamie Farr. Just be lucky I didn't throw in the theme song "Suicide is Painless".

"She could see Daria. . .snatched Trent from Daria": This is a satire on the scene from the Sailor Moon episode that aired here under the title "The Past Returns", which told how Queen Beryl destroyed the Moon Kingdom.

"Kunzite": The original Japanese name is used here, he's called Malachite here in the U.S. and in the original Japanese version was homosexual (he had a thing for Zoisite, who was a guy in the Japanese version; DIC got around that by recasting Zoycite as a woman).

"Who watches the watchmen?": The Latin saying can be translated like that, though "Who will guard the guards?" or "Who will keep the keepers themselves?" might be better. I chose the translation that I used because it makes reference to the DC Comics mini-series The Watchmen, and that was used as their advertising slogan.

"Somehow, there were. . .Those bastards!"; An all too obvious reference to Comedy Central's controversial animated series South Park, where Kenny gets killed in every episode and Kyle expresses his shock over his death.

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Data 9: The Neo-Zero Attacks!

"Gojira": I decided to use the original Japanese name for Godzilla here.

"Tokyo Tower": At over one thousand feet, Tokyo Tower, which is a TV transmitter, is one of the most familiar sights in Tokyo and is the city's (and Japan's) tallest structure. There is an observation deck about half-way up and school field trips often go there (in Magic Knight Rayearth, Hikaru, Fuu and Umi first meet there as their respective schools were having field trips there). It's seen quite often in anime; you can see it in the background in many scenes of Sailor Moon.

"IFF device": This is short for "Identify-Friend-or-Foe" device. This device helps most jet fighters know what's a friendly craft from an enemy one. A similar device is found on radar for civilian air traffic control; it identifies what carrier and what flight the particular plane is.

"Grumman F-14A Tomcats": Being from Long Island originally, and having relatives who once worked for Grumman (now known as Northrup Grumman), I'm proud to include this fine jet fighter in this story. The fighter's logo is an alleycat in a boxing ring, with the motto "Anytime, baby. . .!" below that. Grumman, which was based in Bethpage in Nassau County, also made the F6F Hellcat during World War II, which proved to be more than a match for Japan's Mitsubishi A6M Zero. The company also made the Apollo Lunar Module and the ill-fated Flixible buses the didn't fare too well in New York City (it also made the current version of the U. S. Postal Service truck).

"Moonlight Knight/Furuhata Motoki": After the Dark Kingdom was destroyed, Mamoru lost all knowledge of being Tuxedo Mask (much like the Sailor Senshi lost all knowledge of who they were). However, when Ail and Ann arrived, he adopted the disguise of Moonlight Knight; only later on when he realized that the Sailor Senshi were indeed back did he revert to his old Tuxedo Mask identity, only to give that up temporarily when he dumped Usagi at the start of the Four Sisters incident, only to resume that later on in that storyline and for the other three seasons of the series. Motoki was called Andrew in the American version and was a friend of Mamoru, Usagi and the others (Usagi and Makoto once had big-time crushes on him).

"The Monks": The Monks were five American ex-servicemen who were living in Germany; they were originally formed as The Five Torquays in 1961. In 1965, the line-up was more or less set, and they adopted their outfit of all-black clothing, rope neckties and tonsured heads (shaved partially bald). The band consisted of: Gary Burger (vocals, guitar); Dave Day (electric banjo); Eddie Shaw (bass); Larry Clark (organ) and Roger Johnston (drums). Their only album was released in 1966 and is called Black Monk Time. It includes the songs "Monk Time"; "Boys are Boys and Girls are Choice"; "I Hate You"; "Complication"; "Love Came Tumblin' Down" and "Oh How to Do Now". Until 1997, the album was available only as an import item from Polydor Records; in that year, American Recording's Infinite Zero Archive label got the domestic rights to the album and reissued it; it includes seven additional tracks, including four rare A and B sides, a live track and two demos. If you can, find this album; it's pretty good and is still ahead of its time despite being released over thirty years ago.

"The Hindenburg": This scene is a parody of a part of the Beavis and Butt-Head book This Book Sucks! Co-incidentally, if you look very carefully inside Daria's locker, she's got a picture of the disaster inside the door.

"Tom Anderson": He was the old neighbor that Beavis and Butt-Head kept harassing. He, like Beavis and Butt-Head, was voiced by creator Mike Judge (co‑incidentally, he sounds much like Hank Hill from Judge's King of the Hill series on Fox).

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Data 10: The Truth About Amazana Yoriko

Data Title: This is a parody of "The Truth of Bashtarlle" episode of the Giant Robo OAV series.

"Dr. Vander Helffen looked at Daria. . .story of my life": This scene is a satire of the passage from George Orwell's 1984 where O'Brien grills Winston Smith in the torture room of the Ministry of Love. Take it from me, Dr. Vander Helffen would believe that two and two equals five if that could advance his arguments.

"Master Kung": The actual Chinese name of Confucius is Kung Fu-tzu; Confucius is the Latinized rendition of that name. He is always called Master Kung by East Asian persons.

"Ultra Soldier": This is a parody of the "Super Soldier" formula used to create Captain America.

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Data 11: The Solar Warrior's Origins

"Terra": Anyone who's a die-hard Trekkie will know that Terra is the technical catalog name for Earth (like Sol is the technical catalog name for the Sun); the names are used by alien races in the Federation.

"Mecha-Dominion": This is a double parody. It makes fun of two Star Trek adversaries: the Borg from Next Generation and the Dominion of Deep Space Nine.

"The needle! The needle! THE NEEDLE!!!!!!!!!! THE NEEDLE!!!!!!!!!!": In "Beavis and Butt-Head", whenever the subject of capital punishment was brought up, Beavis began to say "The chair! The chair! THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!! THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!" But since in most states electrocution had been replaced by lethal injection, I decided to update Beavis's schtick.

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Data 12: A Desperate Teleportation

"Three sliders Scotty always used": On the original Star Trek series, when Scotty activated the transporter, he used three sliding control bars that started the teleportation sequence. This was retained in the movies and in the three other TV series by a series of three touch-sensitive buttons that Chief O'Brien or whoever is in charge of the transporters slid their fingers over.

"How dare you interrupt . . .introductory speech": Whenever Sailor Moon and/or the Sailor Senshi arrive to kick bad guy ass, they always make an introductory speech. The best example is in the episode "Steal Mamoru's Kiss! Ann's Snow White Strategy" (aired here as "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall"), where some appropriate background scenes are rendered (my favorite, Sailor Venus against a rendition of the famed painting "The Birth of Venus").

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Data 13: Crush! Kill! Destroy!, or the Battle of Lawndale

Data title: I was inspired for the title of this data from the "Revolt of the Androids" episode of Lost in Space, where the Robinsons and Dr. Smith face a killer robot named IDAK; he kept saying "Crush! Kill! Destroy!"

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Data 14: Corlew's Last Stand

Data title: This is a pun on "Custer's Last Stand".

"Lorena Bobbitt/John Wayne Bobbitt": In the famed 1993 incident, Mr. Bobbitt had his penis cut off by his wife.

"St. Eligius": He's the patron saint of metalworkers; his name is also on the Boston hospital that served as the locale for the TV series St. Elsewhere.

"The force of the kick. . .Uncle Phil went the same way!": This is a satire on the climatic scene of the film The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! In that film, Lt. Drebin had just thwarted Ludwig's plot to kill Queen Elizabeth II by using a brainwashed Reggie Jackson and had pursued him to the top of Dodger Stadium. Drebin fired one of his cuff-link bullets, and Ludwig fell to the parking lot, where he was ran over by a bus, a steam roller, and the USC Trojan Marching Band playing The Kingsmen's "Louie, Louie". Drebin's boss goes, "Oh, Frank! It's so horrible! Horrible!" Drebin says, "I know, Ed". The captain then says "My father went the same way!" In essence, it's a double pun; The USC Trojan Marching Band played the brass section part of Fleetwood's 1979 hit "Tusk" (the name of the song was derived for drummer Mick Fleetwood's nickname for an erect penis) in the original studio version and later reprised that part when the song was played on the reunion special The Dance on VH1.

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Data 15: Sailor Misery Chick Takes to the Skies

"Wouldn't that be like using a pea shooter against an ICBM?": I have Michael J. Pfeffer to thank for this one. This line can also be seen in Gordon Korman's novel Son of Interflux.

"Sailor Moon parked right on top of her": Another Project A-ko pun. When A-ko and B-ko fly up to Captain Napopolita's ship to save C-ko, a missile blast separates them, and A-ko falls on top of a jet fighter; the only thing the pilot can see is her buttocks.

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Data 16: Tokyo Game, Set and Match

Data title: There is a famed spy novel trilogy from Len Deighton called Game, Set and Match. The first part is Berlin Game; the second is Mexico Set; the third is London Match.

"Tiger and dragon tattoos": In the original Kung Fu series, the original Caine got the marks of the Shaolin priesthood by putting his bare arms on a hot brazier where indented marks in the shape of a tiger and a dragon seared into his flesh; the resulting scars indicated his status as a priest. However, if you look closely at the modern-day Caine on Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, he's got tattoos instead of burn marks.

"Kwai Chang Caine": Of course I mean the modern-day Caine from Kung Fu: The Legend Continues and not the original Caine from the original Kung Fu series.

"Oni": Oni in Japanese folklore and ogres who are gigantic, have wildly-colored hair, horns, sharp teeth, wear tiger skins, possess superhuman strength, can fly and usually eat humans and rape women. The most famous oni in anime include Lum from Urusei Yatsura and the Ogre Slayer.

"Murakumo-no-Tsurugi": This sword was used by Susano the Wind God to kill an eight-headed dragon who was about to eat a young girl. He later gave the sword to Amaterasu-Omikami as an apology for making her angry during an early incident (those two had a severe case of sibling rivalry). This legend is alluded to in the beginning of the anime TV series Blue Seed in explaining the origins of the shape-shifting alien monsters called the Aragami.

"A few days later. . .'BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!' five times;" This scene was loosely modeled after the final scene of the first Star Wars film, where Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca and Han Solo receive medals from Princess Leia. To be fair, George Lucas was inspired from a scene from a Nazi propaganda film called Triumph of the Will when he made this scene. It's quite a common occurrence for one movie scene to inspire another; the shoot-out scene in Chicago's Union Station from The Untouchables film with Kevin Costner and Robert Di Niro was modeled after a similar scene from the film Battleship Potemkin.

"Charles Xavier": He's the wheelchair-bound leader of the mutant superhero team the X-Men; his code name is "Professor X". His mutant ability is that he's a pretty strong telepath.

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nd that does it for this appendix. Before I wrap this up, let me just thank a few people:

God Almighty (I wouldn't be alive without Him right now);

My parents, Diane McNeill and Walter McNeill (they have to put up with my eccentricities);

Katherine Goodman, Webmaster, Alt-Lawndale.com (thanks for letting me post this on your site);

My late and dear friend, Kristin Graziani, who was very much like Daria herself when we were in high school, and for whom this appendix is dedicated to; I hope you're playing a mean harp up there, Mother Hen;

Michael J. Pfeffer, for the tip-off about the "Pea shooters and ICBM's" line;

Naoko Takeuchi, creator of Sailor Moon, for my inspiration for this rather twisted fanfic;

Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis, co-creators of Daria (never let it be said that nothing good came out of Beavis and Butt-Head);

Tom Clancy (let's see Jack Ryan top this one!);

Martin Luther (a mighty man who built a fortress out of a rock);

International Masters Publishers (I got my money's worth already from Aircraft of the World);

Terri Hawkes (the North American voice of Sailor Moon);

Karen Bernstein (the North American voice of Sailor Mercury and sometime executive producer for PBS's American Masters documentary series);

Tracy Grandstaff (the one and only voice of Daria);

Renee O'Connor (Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess; man, do I love that bare midriff of hers!);

Mamoru Oshii (director, Patlabor, Ghost in the Shell and Urusei Yatsura; I should have thrown in a basset hound in here somewhere);

The Monks ("Boys are boys and girls are choice");

Wendy Hoopes (the voice of Quinn, Helen and Jane; "Kevin, how do you like my skirt?");

Teryl Rothery (the voice of A-ko from "Plot of the Daitokuji Financial Group" onward; ask me to e-mail a letter I got from her!); and

To everyone like me who was an outcast at high school for some reason or another and had to put up with the abuses of our own Sandies, Kevins, Brittanies, etc.; someday, I can only hope, the world will judge us not by how we look or what problems we have but by the content of our character and the pureness of our soul.

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"Well, the one thing we did right

Was the day we started to fight!

Keep your eyes on the prize, O Lord!"

--Theme from the PBS documentary series Eyes on the Prize

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"Terminat hour diem, terminat author opus"

("The hour ends the day; the author finished his work.")

--From Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

FINIS

eter Guerin is the author of The Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle (a crossover between Daria and Sailor Moon); Triumph of the "Retart" and One Man's Trash. . . (his "Daria" crossover with the 70's sitcom Sanford and Son).

Besides being a fan of Daria and Sailor Moon, Peter is also a big fan of other anime such as Project A-ko, Gunsmith Cats, You're Under Arrest!, Samurai Pizza Cats, and Here is Greenwood. He also likes other American animated efforts like Spider-Man; X-Men; Silver Surfer; South Park; Tiny Toon Adventures; Animaniacs; Pinky and the Brain; and the old Loony Tunes cartoons.

Born in 1968 in Bay Shore, New York, Peter graduated from Connetquot High School in Bohemia, New York, in 1987 and received his Associate's Degree in Business Administration from Adirondack Community College in Queensbury, New York, in 1994. He currently lives in Hudson Falls, New York with his mother, stepfather and elder stepbrother.

Besides his interest in anime, Peter also likes such live-action TV programs as Monty Python's Flying Circus (he especially likes the episodes with "The Bishop" and "Njorl's Saga" sketches in them [remember to invest in Malden!]); all four Star Trek TV shows (though he wonders to this day why they'd chose Mrs. Columbo to command Voyager); Sanford and Son; Hogan's Heroes; The Flip Wilson Show; Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess (he admits he's got a thing for Gabrielle and her bare midriff of hers!). He also likes the film Colossus: The Forbin Project, from whence he got one of his e-mail handles. Peter also like some music, especially Garbage (he's got a thing for Shirley Manson and her miniskirt and go-go boot get-ups); The Monks ("It's Beat Time! It's Hop Time! IT'S MONK TIME NOW!"); Fleetwood Mac ("Tusk!"); Rage Against the Machine ("Rally 'round tha family with a pocket full of shells!"); Splendora ("You're standing on my neck!") and REM ("What's the frequency, Kenneth?"). By the way, PLEASE NEVER, NEVER, under any circumstances, play Italian music around him; it depresses him to no end!

Peter himself suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), the same affliction that David MacAllister suffers from in Triumph of the "Retart"; in fact, the story is semi‑autobiographical; Peter himself ran for Student Government President in his junior year and lost by sixteen votes, the closest such election in the school's history.

As for his future plans for fanfic, Peter has an idea for a Daria/Hercules/Xena crossover as well as a story that is going to be a mega-crossover (we're talking Marvel Secret Wars big here!) that essentially will be a spoof of Albany, New York's Tulip Fest and Hudson Falls' Sandy Hill Days involving Daria, Heathcliff, Beverly Hills Teens (Bianca Dupree is more sinister than J. R. Ewing and Alexis Carrington-Colby combined, at least in his opinion), Cats and Company and Inspector Gadget, as well as a Daria/Bishop crossover. Among the other weird crossovers he has in mind also include one that would feature Penelope Pitstop, Dick Dastardly, Muttley, Klunk, Zilly, Yankee Doodle Pigeon, the Hooded Claw and the Ant Hill Mob from the Hanna-Barberra Wacky Races/Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines/Perils of Penelope Pitstop saga as well as Speed Racer; the tentative title is going to be Lawndale Death Race 500. He also plans to do some involving Hogan's Heroes (it won't be a lame-o time travel thing; it'll be set in the present, and you will see some changes in Hogan, Klink and the others) as well as one involving Project A-ko and Colossus: The Forbin Project.

Peter can be reached at either DocForbin@Hotmail.com.; DickMarino@Yahoo.com; PeterThree@MailExcite.com or Harmacy@MailCity.com. Please e-mail him. That would make him very happy.

THIS HAS BEEN AN EXCLUSIVE CREATION OF

MARK Ø FAN FICTION, UNLIMITED!

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CLANG! CLANG! OUCH! I HIT MYSELF WITH THE !@#$%^& HAMMER!