The Diary of Daria Morgendorffer: A Portrait of a Young Girl (Note: This is merely an experiment in Fan Fiction. If it sucks, I'm terribly sorry. Someone mentioned that no one had any creativity in writing the fan fictions, so I used some of mine. I've got plenty to spare.) December 15 I hate the holiday season. Everyone's so...happy. It really makes you want to puke. Christmas was always my least favorite holiday. Mom always gets so perky during the Christmas season. And don't even get me started on Quinn or Dad. Jane said I could help her decorate their tree, but I refused. Triming the tree is something I never really saw her doing. But when she pulled out the abstract ornaments that she made by hand, I changed my mind. It was okay, actually. That is, until Trent came out of the basement and started helping. Jane ended up sweeping up the broken glass, leaving me and Trent to converse. She won't enjoy her yenta act so much when I seek revenge on those who deserve it. Quinn and Mom went Christmas shopping yesterday, and I actually had a stroke of good luck: they didn't even ask me to come along with them. I think Mom wanted to buy my present. God, save me. I got my Christmas shopping done months ago. Meaning I'm giving Mom what she gave me last year, I dug around in Quinn's closet for her gift, and Jane is making my Dad a tie for me. She offered, so I didn't object. Such a giving person I am. I've got to work on that. December 17 Jane dragged me to the store with her to buy holiday crap. She insisted I get things for her and Trent. So, I bought some new brushes and a couple CD's when she wasn't looking. Then I came across this really cool guitar pick, and decided to keep one of the CD's I picked out for Trent. I saw Jane walk out of Books by the Ton, so she at least got me something useful. I need something to take up space on my floor. I think I actually saw part of the carpet two weeks ago. School is finally out for a couple weeks. I was getting a little bored in those damn classrooms. Now I'm plenty bored in my bedroom. But at least I don't have O'Neill asking me those stupid questions about Thoreau and Shakespeare. No, now I have Mom to ask me stupid questions about my daily schedule and an "old fashioned, traditional Christmas." Whatever that means. It started snowing this morning. It was actually pretty cool, until Dad started singing "Dreaming of a White Christmas." I had to get out. Luckily, Jane showed up and asked if I wanted to walk down the street and throw snowballs at passing cars. How could I resist? I think we hit Mr. DiMartino and Upchuck's car. Of course, Upchuck stopped to talk. Which tempted Jane to shove a snowball down his throat and his pants. It was pretty fun, I have to admit. Too bad I hate fun. December 23 Mom finally had Dad go buy a tree. They were out of everything except scrawny excuses for firewood, so he bought an artificial one instead. Mom liked the idea of not having to make me vaccum up the needles anyway. Quinn had the fashion club over to decorate it with no butter, no cholesterol, unsalted popcorn strands that Jeffy, Joey, and Jamie made for them, and other assorted "cute" ornaments. I brought one of the one's Jane made from her tree and put it on a high branch after the fashion goons left. Then Mom locked herself in her bedroom, wrapping presents and signing cards that her secretary had boughten for her. She just loves to throw herself into festivites this time of year. December 24 Jane had me come over to swap gifts with her, Trent, and Jesse. Beats setting up the living room for what little family that didn't have an actual family to spend it with. Which was Amy, of course. I suggested that. Anyway, Jane ended up giving me some sci-fi books. And much to my surprise, Trent bought me something too. It was a brand new diary, with pictures of skeletons on the front. How did he know I needed a new diary? Jane loved her new brushes, and Trent liked the CD's. I was lucky and actually picked some he didn't already have. He like the pick too. Said he'd use it at his next gig. I forget what Jesse gave Jane, but he got Trent a new cable for his electric guitar, after snapping the other one in two at a gig four days ago. I ended up spending the whole day at the Lane's. Trent and Jesse overdid it on the eggnog, and Jane took the opportuntiy to drag Jesse upstairs. Trent fell asleep, so I watched the Sick, Sad World Christmas Special in the living room by myself. I had no idea that Rudolf was dealing marijuanna and Santa was molesting little boys and girls. After everyone regained consciousness, we had dinner. Pizza dinner for Christmas. A very new concept, and a very cool tradition. Of course, I had to walk in the kitchen at the same time as Trent. And Jane had hung a single strand of mistletoe on the wall molding. And then she had to go and catch us under it together. She made Trent kiss me. And I hate her and thank her for it. December 25 Well, today was quite interesting. Nobody noticed I had put no thought whatsoever in their gift. Dad even liked the tie. Which pissed me off. I have to think of something better for next year. Amy came bering gifts, which pleased Mom and Quinn. Dad had already started reading the paper and was off in his little world. Which pleased Mom even more. Quinn got lots and lots of clothes. I got books, and a few shirts and jeans. Damn you Mom. Amy got me a poster. It was really cool, and I put it on my wall under my other poster. All in all, the holiday season was almost berable this year. Not particularly awaiting next year. Well, it's the last page in this diary. Hope next year is somewhat better than this year. at least it'll start out pretty well. If I know Jane, she'll have a new year's party. And when that damn ball reaches the bottom, there's no telling what she'll make me do. I just hope by the time it rolls around, I'll be hiding in the fall out shelter of her mother's.