The Daria Blooper Series
Remember: Daria stands as the trademark, exclusively to MTV & Viacom. Now let's carry on.
(The crying scene in Fat Like Me when Sandi reveals the truth to Quinn)
Director: Action!! (Sandi and Quinn stare like a couple of zombies) Action, girls, action!!
Sandi: We don't know any action!! All the script lady told us was to cry like babys and say some dumb words.
Director: That is what action means--just say the dumb words.
Quinn: Why didn't you say so....?
Director (muttering in despair): Union break......!!
(Another try at the crying scene in Fat Like Me)
Director: Action!!
(Sandi begins crying)
Quinn: What's wrong, Sandi?
Sandi: Nothing. It's just....oh, Quinn, I love you so much!!
(both girls are now crying as Quinn hugs Sandi)
Quinn: Oh, Sandi, I love you, too!!
(Suddenly Tiffany steps into the room, carrying a tray of sandwiches and sodas)
Tiffany: Who ordered the baloney on rye and the tuna on wheat?
Director: CUT!! Tiffany!! Your scene doesn't come till later!!
Tiffany: But I only came to make a lunch delivery for those two. (points to Sandi and Quinn)
Quinn I got the tuna on wheat.
Sandi: And I got the baloney on rye. (Both girls get up to get their food)
Director: Union break.......!!
(The ending scene in Pierce Me where Helen and Jake confront Daria, to Quinn's delight, when Daria shows her midriff)
Helen: Quinn, what's the matter with you?!?
Jake: Your sister's not tattooed--no, I mean pregnant--no, I mean bloated.....oh, GAH DARNIT!!!!!!
Director: CUT!! Jake, you forgot your lines again?!?
Jake: Sorry (blushes)
Helen (to Jake): Jake, what is the matter with you?!?
Jake: So I forgot my lines, big deal!!
Director: Oh, rats.....!! It ain't my bloody day......!!
Daria (to Quinn): So, you wanna go for burgers?
Quinn: OK.
(The last scene in Pierce Me, when Quinn says her closing line)
Quinn: She was pierced, pierced, I tell you!! Oh, death, where is my sting? NO, that ain't it!! What was my line again?
Director: CUT!! You too, Quinn?!?
Quinn: Sorry. (blushes) Union break.....!!
Director: Hey, that was my line........!!
Quinn: Sorry again......
(The hot tub scene in Daria Dance Party, when Stacy bemoans her pruney palms, when Sandi scolds her for it)
Sandi: Stacy, that is so unattractive, I CANNOT believe you even showed me!!
Director: And.....cut!!
Tiffany: 'Bout time. We were getting waterlogged in that water.
Director: Uh, sorry, girls, we've got to shoot the scene again--the boom microphone got in the shot.
Sandi, Tiffany & Stacy: WHAT?!?
(Another take on the hot tub scene)
Director: And......action!!
Sandi: You're in time out for a long time so keep your head down or I'll bust your spine with a sledgehammer!!
Director: CUT!! That ain't in the script!!
Sandi: Sure it's in the script!! See? (Shows the director her copy of the script)
Director: WHAT?!!? Which one of you jokers changed the script?!? Was that you, Stacy?!?
Stacy: Not me!!
Tiffany: Me neither.
(Behind the bushes we see Kevin holding his nose to stop from laughing)
(The piercing scene in Axl's shop in Pierce Me when Trent offers his hand to Daria)
Trent: I'll help you through that, Daria, It's my hand. Take it, it's clean.
(Daria takes Trent's hand and recoils when she gets axle grease from it)
Daria: UGH!! I thought you said it's clean!! I got axle grease!!
Trent: Oops!! Forgot to wash after fixing the tank. (blushes)
Director: Cut!! What a day.......!!
(The rally scene at Lawndale High in The Lawndale Files where Kevin is at the podium)
Kevin: Reach out......sense The Force around you........hey, who just altered my script?!?
Director: CUT!! CUT!! UNION BREAK!! (mutters) Not again.......................!!
(In the crowd, we see a sneering Sandi grin with sastisfaction)
Sandi: Payback time for what you did to my script......
(The scene in The Invitation when Quinn runs out to tattle on Daria)
Quinn: Mum!! Dad!! Tracy, uh, I mean Daria is ruining my life again!!
Director: Cut!! Quinn, you've been in the sauce?!?
Quinn: Sorry. Guess my mind ain't where it should be.
Daria: You ain't joking.
Director: And I thought directing Beavis & Butt Head was that bad............
(The band practise scene in It Happened One Nut between Jane, Trent and Jesse)
Jane: What chord is that in?
Jesse: A diminished.
Trent: No, A minor 7th.
Jesse: I'll get another cramp.
Director: CUT!! It's supposed to be A MINOR 7th first, THEN A DIMINISHED!!
Jesse: Sorry. Guess we got our signals crossed.
Jane (to the Director): You've got to forgive the guys, they've been touring for months, to the point when they can't think sane.
Director: And what're they touring as, Spinal Tap?
Trent: No, Mystik Sprial, but we're changing the name.
Director: Sorry I asked.
(The Zen scene at the start of Ill, when Mystik Sprial play Ouch, My Face, until a black haired Brittany runs across the stage in the nude.)
Trent: WHOA!!!! What the......!!
Director: CUT!! Brittany, you get your clothes on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Backstage, a red faced Brittany is seen with Ms. Li.)
Brittany: OK, I just streaked, now pay off.
Li.: Well, don't let it be said Angela Li doesn't keep her word. Here--$1200 dollars. By the way, what happened to your hair?
Brittany: Don't ask.
(The party at Brittany's in Groped By An Angel, when Mystik Sprial begins playing)
Trent, Jesse, Nick & Max: Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom/don't ya jes' love it/chick-a-boom- chick-a-boom/don't you jes' love it/chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom/don't ya jes' love it/chick-a- boom-chick-a-boom-boom-boom.
Director: CUT!! CUT!! What happened to the tunes you used to play?!!!!??
Trent: OK, which one of you guys had the wrong sheet music?
Jesse: Not me, man.
Max: Me neither.
Nick: It's got to be me--guess I grabbed the wrong one in haste...........
Director: Oh, bother...................
(The boat scene in Just Add Water where Sandi askes a drowsy Daria and Jane)
Sandi: Uh, Quinn's real sister or whatever.
Director: CUT!! It's supposed to be "Quinn's visiting foreign exchange student."
Sandi: I happen to be an airhead. You can't expect me to remember everything.
Daria: Not to mention shallow.
Jane: You got that right.
(The scene in Daria The Musical when Daria, Jane, Brittany and Kevin do their dance and song after breaking out from the roof top shed.)
Director: OK, let's make it a big number for sure........ready.....and, ACTION!!
Daria: Oh!! I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK/I sleep all night and I work all day.
Jane, Brittany & Kevin: She's a lumberjack and she's OK/she sleeps all night and she works all day.
Director: CUT!! I thought you were doing The Big Wet Rainstorm's Over.
Kevin: We got tired of that one so we'd thought try something different.
Brittany: Besides, that other tune's so corny.
Daria: I'll buy that.
Director (clenching his fist): Will SOMEONE please put those people out of their misery?!?
Jane: You're sure wound up.
(Yet another try at the crying scene in Fat Like Me)
Director: Once again, with feeling.......action!!
(Sandi begins crying)
Quinn: What's wrong, Sandi?
Sandi: Nothing. It's just....oh, Quinn, I love you so much!!
(both girls are now crying as Quinn hugs Sandi)
Quinn: Oh, Sandi, I love you, too!!
(Just then, an over cheerful Stacy enters)
Stacy: Well, is everyone happy? Huh? I feel like I just stepped in a funeral parlour.....
Director: CUT!! CUT!! Not again!!
Sandi (testily): Stacy, what're you doing here?!?
Quinn: You ruined our scene here!!
Stacy: Sorry, but Brittany gave me a copy of my script that says I be here.
Director: BRITTANY?!? She gave you a script like that?!? First, Kevin, and now Brittany...!! Everyone's a practical joker.....!!
(Backstage, we see Brittany laughing her head off)
Brittany: Kevvy was right--practical joking can be so fun......!!
(The scene in The Lawndale Files where Arnie is relating his UFO experiences to Daria and Jane when he checks his pager)
Arnie: Oh-oh, what? Fried again? Man, that happens to me all the time!!
Director: CUT!! Not fried, fired, read your script!!
Arnie: Oh, fired........I got to get my glasses........(blushes)
Daria: Look on the bright side--fried or fired, either way you get burned.....
Director: Union break.......
(The counseling scene in It Happened One Nut where Tiffany is reading to Daria)
Tiffany (hesitantly): In....the......last.....chapter.....of......The.....Sarah.....Jane......Adventures.....
Director: CUT!! (walks over to Tiffany) Tiffany!! (pulls out a comic book that had been hidden behind the book she was supposed to read) No comic books!!
Tiffany (blushing): Sorry. Didn't think you'd notice.
Daria: Union break.
Director: HEY!! Don't you start!!
(The backstage scene in Cafe Disaffecto, as Daria begins her show, before we hear Brittany and Kevin backstage)
Brittany (backstage): You insensitive jerk!! (sound of punch landing)
Kevin (backstage) OW!! OK, that does it, I've HAD it with playing the punching bag!! DIE!! (sound of other punch landing)
Brittany: OW!! You can't do that to me, it's against the laws of chivary!!
Director: CUT!! Not only that, it's not in the script!!
Kevin: Hang chivary and the script!! (Multible punches landing, no doubt on Brittany)
Brittany: OUCH!! OWWWWW!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP!! POLICE!! PARAMEDICS!! MUMMY!!!! CALL MY AGENT!!!!!!!!!! UNION BREAK!!
Director: DITTO!!
Daria (to Brittany): Hey why don't you quit your job in the first place?
Brittany: And give up show business? OWWWWWWW!! THAT SMARTS!!!!
(The art scene in Arts & Crass where Claire DeFoe examines Jane's painting, then reads the card attatched to it)
Defoe(reading): "She knows she's a winner, she couldn't be thinner 'cos she's careful what she eats for breakfast, lunch and dinner, good nutrition rules." Nice work, Jane.
Director: CUT!! That was the wrong card!!
Jane: I'll say!! (to Daria) Did you stick on the wrong card?
Daria: Not me. Did you?
Jane: Nope. (to Ms. Defoe) Did you?
Defoe: Nonsense, why would I do such a thing?
(Tim O'neil comes up)
O'Neil: I switched the cards, because I felt vomiting dinner was so.......yuccy.
Director: But you ruined the script in the process!! GRRRRRRR!!
Jane (to the Director): How come you're pinching you eyes like that?
(And now, the moment you've been wating for......the last scene, which is in Depth Takes A Holiday where Cupid uses his magic on Daria)
Cupid (taking Daria's hand and using his Barry White voice): ....and the next thing you say will be the one that makes you feel like Queen Cleopatra.
Daria (deleriously): Brittany? OOP!!
Director: CUT!! CUT!! CUT!! CUT AND CUT!!!! Who's been tampering with the script?!? Was that you, Brittany?!?
(Brittany pops out from behind a bush, giggling)
Brittany: Sorry, the devil made do it--that and the fact I had a girl crush on Daria.
Daria: Who, me? What a shock. (blushes in shame, just as Kevin shows up)
Kevin (in disbelief): You had a crush on Daria?!? Oh, babe, that ain't right!!
Director: I'll say!! (slams megaphone down on the sidewalk) FINE!! You think you punks can be smart, YOU direct the show yourselves from now on!! (walks off in disgust)
Cupid: That guy needs a shot from my love taser.
Daria: I guess he just couldn't take it.
TIS THE END OF YE TALE