The Daria Blooper Series

Remember: Daria stands as the trademark, exclusively to MTV & Viacom. Now let's carry on.

(The crying scene in Fat Like Me when Sandi reveals the truth to Quinn)

Director: Action!! (Sandi and Quinn stare like a couple of zombies) Action, girls, action!!

Sandi: We don't know any action!! All the script lady told us was to cry like babys and say some dumb words.

Director: That is what action means--just say the dumb words.

Quinn: Why didn't you say so....?

Director (muttering in despair): Union break......!!

(Another try at the crying scene in Fat Like Me)

Director: Action!!

(Sandi begins crying)

Quinn: What's wrong, Sandi?

Sandi: Nothing. It's just....oh, Quinn, I love you so much!!

(both girls are now crying as Quinn hugs Sandi)

Quinn: Oh, Sandi, I love you, too!!

(Suddenly Tiffany steps into the room, carrying a tray of sandwiches and sodas)

Tiffany: Who ordered the baloney on rye and the tuna on wheat?

Director: CUT!! Tiffany!! Your scene doesn't come till later!!

Tiffany: But I only came to make a lunch delivery for those two. (points to Sandi and Quinn)

Quinn I got the tuna on wheat.

Sandi: And I got the baloney on rye. (Both girls get up to get their food)

Director: Union break.......!!

(The ending scene in Pierce Me where Helen and Jake confront Daria, to Quinn's delight, when Daria shows her midriff)

Helen: Quinn, what's the matter with you?!?

Jake: Your sister's not tattooed--no, I mean pregnant--no, I mean bloated.....oh, GAH DARNIT!!!!!!

Director: CUT!! Jake, you forgot your lines again?!?

Jake: Sorry (blushes)

Helen (to Jake): Jake, what is the matter with you?!?

Jake: So I forgot my lines, big deal!!

Director: Oh, rats.....!! It ain't my bloody day......!!

Daria (to Quinn): So, you wanna go for burgers?

Quinn: OK.

(The last scene in Pierce Me, when Quinn says her closing line)

Quinn: She was pierced, pierced, I tell you!! Oh, death, where is my sting? NO, that ain't it!! What was my line again?

Director: CUT!! You too, Quinn?!?

Quinn: Sorry. (blushes) Union break.....!!

Director: Hey, that was my line........!!

Quinn: Sorry again......

(The hot tub scene in Daria Dance Party, when Stacy bemoans her pruney palms, when Sandi scolds her for it)

Sandi: Stacy, that is so unattractive, I CANNOT believe you even showed me!!

Director: And.....cut!!

Tiffany: 'Bout time. We were getting waterlogged in that water.

Director: Uh, sorry, girls, we've got to shoot the scene again--the boom microphone got in the shot.

Sandi, Tiffany & Stacy: WHAT?!?

(Another take on the hot tub scene)

Director: And......action!!

Sandi: You're in time out for a long time so keep your head down or I'll bust your spine with a sledgehammer!!

Director: CUT!! That ain't in the script!!

Sandi: Sure it's in the script!! See? (Shows the director her copy of the script)

Director: WHAT?!!? Which one of you jokers changed the script?!? Was that you, Stacy?!?

Stacy: Not me!!

Tiffany: Me neither.

(Behind the bushes we see Kevin holding his nose to stop from laughing)

(The piercing scene in Axl's shop in Pierce Me when Trent offers his hand to Daria)

Trent: I'll help you through that, Daria, It's my hand. Take it, it's clean.

(Daria takes Trent's hand and recoils when she gets axle grease from it)

Daria: UGH!! I thought you said it's clean!! I got axle grease!!

Trent: Oops!! Forgot to wash after fixing the tank. (blushes)

Director: Cut!! What a day.......!!

(The rally scene at Lawndale High in The Lawndale Files where Kevin is at the podium)

Kevin: Reach out......sense The Force around you........hey, who just altered my script?!?

Director: CUT!! CUT!! UNION BREAK!! (mutters) Not again.......................!!

(In the crowd, we see a sneering Sandi grin with sastisfaction)

Sandi: Payback time for what you did to my script......

(The scene in The Invitation when Quinn runs out to tattle on Daria)

Quinn: Mum!! Dad!! Tracy, uh, I mean Daria is ruining my life again!!

Director: Cut!! Quinn, you've been in the sauce?!?

Quinn: Sorry. Guess my mind ain't where it should be.

Daria: You ain't joking.

Director: And I thought directing Beavis & Butt Head was that bad............

(The band practise scene in It Happened One Nut between Jane, Trent and Jesse)

Jane: What chord is that in?

Jesse: A diminished.

Trent: No, A minor 7th.

Jesse: I'll get another cramp.

Director: CUT!! It's supposed to be A MINOR 7th first, THEN A DIMINISHED!!

Jesse: Sorry. Guess we got our signals crossed.

Jane (to the Director): You've got to forgive the guys, they've been touring for months, to the point when they can't think sane.

Director: And what're they touring as, Spinal Tap?

Trent: No, Mystik Sprial, but we're changing the name.

Director: Sorry I asked.

(The Zen scene at the start of Ill, when Mystik Sprial play Ouch, My Face, until a black haired Brittany runs across the stage in the nude.)

Trent: WHOA!!!! What the......!!

Director: CUT!! Brittany, you get your clothes on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Backstage, a red faced Brittany is seen with Ms. Li.)

Brittany: OK, I just streaked, now pay off.

Li.: Well, don't let it be said Angela Li doesn't keep her word. Here--$1200 dollars. By the way, what happened to your hair?

Brittany: Don't ask.

(The party at Brittany's in Groped By An Angel, when Mystik Sprial begins playing)

Trent, Jesse, Nick & Max: Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom/don't ya jes' love it/chick-a-boom- chick-a-boom/don't you jes' love it/chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom/don't ya jes' love it/chick-a- boom-chick-a-boom-boom-boom.

Director: CUT!! CUT!! What happened to the tunes you used to play?!!!!??

Trent: OK, which one of you guys had the wrong sheet music?

Jesse: Not me, man.

Max: Me neither.

Nick: It's got to be me--guess I grabbed the wrong one in haste...........

Director: Oh, bother...................

(The boat scene in Just Add Water where Sandi askes a drowsy Daria and Jane)

Sandi: Uh, Quinn's real sister or whatever.

Director: CUT!! It's supposed to be "Quinn's visiting foreign exchange student."

Sandi: I happen to be an airhead. You can't expect me to remember everything.

Daria: Not to mention shallow.

Jane: You got that right.

(The scene in Daria The Musical when Daria, Jane, Brittany and Kevin do their dance and song after breaking out from the roof top shed.)

Director: OK, let's make it a big number for sure........ready.....and, ACTION!!

Daria: Oh!! I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK/I sleep all night and I work all day.

Jane, Brittany & Kevin: She's a lumberjack and she's OK/she sleeps all night and she works all day.

Director: CUT!! I thought you were doing The Big Wet Rainstorm's Over.

Kevin: We got tired of that one so we'd thought try something different.

Brittany: Besides, that other tune's so corny.

Daria: I'll buy that.

Director (clenching his fist): Will SOMEONE please put those people out of their misery?!?

Jane: You're sure wound up.

(Yet another try at the crying scene in Fat Like Me)

Director: Once again, with feeling.......action!!

(Sandi begins crying)

Quinn: What's wrong, Sandi?

Sandi: Nothing. It's just....oh, Quinn, I love you so much!!

(both girls are now crying as Quinn hugs Sandi)

Quinn: Oh, Sandi, I love you, too!!

(Just then, an over cheerful Stacy enters)

Stacy: Well, is everyone happy? Huh? I feel like I just stepped in a funeral parlour.....

Director: CUT!! CUT!! Not again!!

Sandi (testily): Stacy, what're you doing here?!?

Quinn: You ruined our scene here!!

Stacy: Sorry, but Brittany gave me a copy of my script that says I be here.

Director: BRITTANY?!? She gave you a script like that?!? First, Kevin, and now Brittany...!! Everyone's a practical joker.....!!

(Backstage, we see Brittany laughing her head off)

Brittany: Kevvy was right--practical joking can be so fun......!!

(The scene in The Lawndale Files where Arnie is relating his UFO experiences to Daria and Jane when he checks his pager)

Arnie: Oh-oh, what? Fried again? Man, that happens to me all the time!!

Director: CUT!! Not fried, fired, read your script!!

Arnie: Oh, fired........I got to get my glasses........(blushes)

Daria: Look on the bright side--fried or fired, either way you get burned.....

Director: Union break.......

(The counseling scene in It Happened One Nut where Tiffany is reading to Daria)

Tiffany (hesitantly): In....the......last.....chapter.....of......The.....Sarah.....Jane......Adventures.....

Director: CUT!! (walks over to Tiffany) Tiffany!! (pulls out a comic book that had been hidden behind the book she was supposed to read) No comic books!!

Tiffany (blushing): Sorry. Didn't think you'd notice.

Daria: Union break.

Director: HEY!! Don't you start!!

(The backstage scene in Cafe Disaffecto, as Daria begins her show, before we hear Brittany and Kevin backstage)

Brittany (backstage): You insensitive jerk!! (sound of punch landing)

Kevin (backstage) OW!! OK, that does it, I've HAD it with playing the punching bag!! DIE!! (sound of other punch landing)

Brittany: OW!! You can't do that to me, it's against the laws of chivary!!

Director: CUT!! Not only that, it's not in the script!!

Kevin: Hang chivary and the script!! (Multible punches landing, no doubt on Brittany)


Director: DITTO!!

Daria (to Brittany): Hey why don't you quit your job in the first place?

Brittany: And give up show business? OWWWWWWW!! THAT SMARTS!!!!

(The art scene in Arts & Crass where Claire DeFoe examines Jane's painting, then reads the card attatched to it)

Defoe(reading): "She knows she's a winner, she couldn't be thinner 'cos she's careful what she eats for breakfast, lunch and dinner, good nutrition rules." Nice work, Jane.

Director: CUT!! That was the wrong card!!

Jane: I'll say!! (to Daria) Did you stick on the wrong card?

Daria: Not me. Did you?

Jane: Nope. (to Ms. Defoe) Did you?

Defoe: Nonsense, why would I do such a thing?

(Tim O'neil comes up)

O'Neil: I switched the cards, because I felt vomiting dinner was so.......yuccy.

Director: But you ruined the script in the process!! GRRRRRRR!!

Jane (to the Director): How come you're pinching you eyes like that?

(And now, the moment you've been wating for......the last scene, which is in Depth Takes A Holiday where Cupid uses his magic on Daria)

Cupid (taking Daria's hand and using his Barry White voice): ....and the next thing you say will be the one that makes you feel like Queen Cleopatra.

Daria (deleriously): Brittany? OOP!!

Director: CUT!! CUT!! CUT!! CUT AND CUT!!!! Who's been tampering with the script?!? Was that you, Brittany?!?

(Brittany pops out from behind a bush, giggling)

Brittany: Sorry, the devil made do it--that and the fact I had a girl crush on Daria.

Daria: Who, me? What a shock. (blushes in shame, just as Kevin shows up)

Kevin (in disbelief): You had a crush on Daria?!? Oh, babe, that ain't right!!

Director: I'll say!! (slams megaphone down on the sidewalk) FINE!! You think you punks can be smart, YOU direct the show yourselves from now on!! (walks off in disgust)

Cupid: That guy needs a shot from my love taser.

Daria: I guess he just couldn't take it.