'And Goes Well with Fish?' by Sandi Griffin
by Dennis

All I really wanted was to sleep, but I still had that flipping article to write. I sat down and grabbed a pen. I have a laptop—Mom thinks it's appropriate for a young woman of ambition—but I much prefer working with pen and paper. I can always type it up later. I began.

"Contrast. Contrast is the heart and soul of fashion, the careful balance of competing colors and hues to create the perfect balance that draws the eye and sings to the soul."

I looked down at what I wrote. Not bad, I thought, which was a problem. "Stacy and Tiffany are my intended audience. This has got to be crap," I said and balled up the page with a sigh. I hated betraying my talent like this.

I had a bunch of false starts like that before I finally turned out the smug, vaguely offensive crap that I knew the other fashion clubbers would eat up. I read aloud.

"Picking the right color is really what fashion is all about. You want to draw the eye, but in a good way, not like those horrible chunky girls who wear orange spandex and pink tops. That just makes you look horrible. So you have to be careful and think about your body type and skin tone. Bright colors can be nice, but to look really classic, you can't go wrong with the darker shades and tones. I mean, sure, some of us can wear anything and look good, but for most people, that's just not possible, and a deep, rich tone hides all the little imperfections and bulges that the truly fashionable teen doesn't want anyone else to see.

You do have to be careful in picking your color, though. Very dark colors, like navy blues, deep violets, and of course, black, will make most girls look pale and washed out, like those horrible goth chicks who wear black lipstick and listen to gloomy, depressing music. No, you need to choose softer colors, ones that will set off lighter skin tones and still bring out the color of your hair and eyes. That way, the people you want to impress are either looking at your outfit, or into your eyes. They're not looking at the fact that your butt is getting big because you haven't had a chance to exercise or whatever.

One of my favorite colors is aubergine, because it has the best features of lighter tones like pink while still being deep and alluring. It looks just as good in a top or a skirt, as it does in a dress, although you have to be careful not to pick another purplish color if you're only wearing it as part of your outfit. It's a good all-purpose color and can even be worn after Memorial Day without looking like a loser. Like a fine wine, if wines were colors, aubergine is dark, tasteful, and goes well with fish."

I finished with a sigh. Total crap, I thought. They'll love it. And then, for no reason, I put my head down and started to cry.

Author's Note: Written for the Second Round of the 2010 March Madness. Ajar's challenge was: Throughout Daria there are pieces of writing we never get to see: The essay that Jeffy wrote about Mercutio having a thing for Romeo, the short story that gets sent to Musings, issues of Val and Waif. The challenge is simple, write your own version of some piece of writing referred to in the series whose contents are not shown.

This story is set within the fifth season episode "The Story of D" and references my fic "Heartbeat in Iambic."

Disclaimer: Daria and all characters are copyright MTV 1997–2002. I own nothing and am merely along for the ride.