How Chris Got His Life Back
By: MFC
Email: VampireDiablo13@aol.com

Section: Parody/Crossover/Romance (This isn't making fun of any movie just it has comedy in it.)


Plot: Chris gets tired of his popularity so he turns to Daria to help get everyone to stop pestering him. Just he doesn't know Daria is falling for him. What should Chris?

This is about 3 weeks after the incident with the murders. Chris was tired of everyone following him around because the only person he liked was his girlfriend Quinn. Although Chris still thought Daria and Jane were cool because everyone was always around him he could never talk to them. We join Chris as he is talking to Quinn on the phone.

Quinn: So Chris what are you doing.

Chris: Watching TV.

Quinn: Want to come over my house?

Chris: Is the Fashion Club there?

Quinn: No

Chris: I'll be right over.

Chris walks over to Daria's house and rings the doorbell. Daria answers the door.

Chris: Hi Daria.

Daria: Hi, so how does it feel to be popular?

Chris (whispers in Daria's ear.): It sucks.

Daria: At least you haven't lost all your sense. Quinn is in your room.

Chris walks up to Quinn's room and walks in.

Quinn: Chris we're going to go to a party tonight, popular kids only.

Chris: Again.

Quinn grabs Chris and drags him out the door. While Daria is watching Chris being dragged out the door, Chris mouths to her come over at Midnight.

The night dragged on at the party Chris and Quinn couldn't get time themselves although Quinn was having a great time. Chris couldn't wait to leave. He finally got home and Daria was waiting for him. Chris opened the door and they both went in.

Daria: What did you want to talk to me about?

Chris: I want to be unpopular again.

Daria: If you became unpopular you'd probably lose Quinn.

Chris: Well I'm doing this to keep Quinn but stop being followed by everyone.

Daria: Well I was wrong you didn't lose any of your intelligence. I thought you liked being popular.

Chris: The only reason I'm putting up with this bullshit is because I like having Quinn as a girlfriend. Basically I forgot how to be unpopular and I need your help to become myself.

Daria: There is a simple solution break up with Quinn.

Chris stares at her blankly.

Daria: Oh that's right you don't want to break up with Quinn.

Daria: I'll talk to Quinn and see if she'll be your girlfriend if you become your old self.

Chris: Thanks Daria you're a good friend.

Daria: By the way this moment never happened.

Chris: You're damn right it didn't.

(Cut to Daria walking into Quinn's room.)

Quinn: What do you want Daria.

Daria: I need to talk to you about Chris.

Quinn: What about him.

Daria: Do you actually like him?

Quinn: Of course I do.

Daria: Do you know he's miserable?

Quinn: No. What would make you think that?

Daria: No reason. Would you still like him if became his old self.

Quinn: Yea of course but the problem is he'll be unpopular.

Daria: Why would you care if you like him?

Quinn: It would damage my popularity.

Daria: So.

Quinn: I guess I wouldn't mind.

The next day Chris and Daria discuss the subject in gym.

Daria: Quinn wouldn't mind if you changed back to normal.

Chris: Meet me after school and refresh me how to do that. Oh shit here come the fans.

A bunch of screaming girls: There goes Chris.

Cut to after school. At Chris's house Daria shows up and Chris tells her to come in.

Daria: So Chris where should we start.

Chris: Uh the clothes what clothes did I used to wear.

Daria: Lets go to your room and find out.

Daria (as they are walking up the stairs): You know I've been over here a bunch of times and I've never seen your room.

They get into his room and it's totally obviously redecorated by Quinn. There are smiley face posters, a banner right above the bed that says "Love The World". Daria walks over to the closet and opens it. A bunch of posters fall out. There were posters like Jason X, 5 Nightmare on Elm Street posters, Friday The 13th Part 8, A poster with Homer Simpsons asleep with a beer and below it the poster said "Beer Now There's A Temporary Solution, and a Bart Simpsons poster. Daria also sees his old clothes the red shirt, blue jeans, and a black trenchcoat.

Daria: First you put these on. (She throws him the clothes.)

Chris goes into the other room and changes and then comes back in.

Daria: Now where are your black eye contacts?

Chris: I think I gave them to Jane.

So the two go to Jane's house. Daria knocks on the door. Jane answers the door.

Jane: Hi Daria. oh look he's back well hi Chris or did Quinn make you change your name.

Chris: What's that supposed to mean.

Jane: Come on Chris. Quinn basically owns you.

Daria: Can't argue with the truth.

Chris: Neither can I.

Daria: I talked to Quinn last night and she said she'd let Chris go back to normal.

Jane: Wow talk about swallowing your pride.

Daria: Anyway we need the contacts. Chris gave you.

Jane: Sure just a sec.

Jane runs up to her room and runs down.

Jane: Here.

Daria: Thanks. (Hands them to Chris)

Chris puts the contacts in.

Daria: Ok did you have friends here besides us?

Chris: Sure

Scene cuts to a mall. Chris walking around and in front of Sam Goody he sees them.

Chris: Hey guys.

The two guys run over and they are none other than Jay and Silent Bob

Jay: Hey I haven't seen you forever where have you been.

Chris: I got a girlfriend and I hang out with her.

Jay: Now ain't that some shit Silent Bob. We've been trying to get hooked up forever we haven't got one girl for a steady relationship. And This Gothic fucker does. This is bullshit.

Silent Bob: Well maybe if you didn't always say " Hey Baby ever have your asshole licked by a at man in an overcoat." We'd maybe get girlfriends.

Chris and Daria: Holy Shit he talks.

Jay: Bite me fatty.

Chris: What have you guys been up to?

Jay: Nothing special we found out they were making a Bluntman and Chronic movie and little bastards were saying crap about us on the Internet and we decided to go stop them and we got side tracked by these babes who were jewel thieves but we didn't know that and they asked us to steal a monkey. So we did and when we got to the van they were riding in it blew up. So we thought she was dead and kept the monkey and cops were chasing us a lot after that. Then a Hollywood person stole our monkey so we went after him. It turns out we found the monkey and the girl wasn't dead and we didn't stop the movie. The girl and I hooked up but she went to jail.

Daria: I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend.

Jay: That's right I do. HaHa Silent Bob you don't got a girlfriend. Anyway we got to go to New Jersey and stop a pair of angels with this chick named Bethany before they undo existence come on Lunchbox

Silent Bob: I guess since he didn't say it I got to. Snoochie Bootchies.

After that Daria kicked Chris and woke him up.

Daria: You hang out with those morons.

Chris (half asleep): Yes I do love fried chicken.

Daria (shouting): WAKE UP.

Chris finally gets up.

The next day at school, Chris walks into school and instead of people chasing they stayed away from him. The Fashion Club noticed and stormed over to him.

Quinn: Well Chris I see you changed but hey not bad at least you wear the clothes with pride.

Sandi: I'm sorry but I disagree those clothes suck. I thought Quinn talked you out of that look.

Chris: Well she changed her mind and I don't really give a shit what you think.

Daria and Jane are talking.

Daria: I think something's wrong

Jane: What's that?

Daria: I'm starting to like Chris.

Jane feels her head.

Jane: Well I wonder how Trent's going to react to this.

Daria: Shut Up.

At lunch Chris decided not to sit with the Fashion Club. He went and sat with Daria and Jane.

Chris: Hey Daria Hey Jane.

Daria and Jane: Hi

Jane: Why aren't you sitting with Quinn?

Chris: Lets just say makeup talk bores the hell out of me. By the way a good movie comes out on Friday.

Daria: What movie?

Chris: Mr. Deeds starring Adam Sandler. We could have a triple date Quinn and I, Daria and Trent.

Daria: How do you know I like Trent? (She glares at Jane.) You bitch.

Jane: Hey what are friends for?

Daria: I hate you.

Jane: You're my best friend too.

Chris: As I was saying Quinn and I, Daria and Trent, and Jane and Jesse.

Jane: How does he know about Jesse? (She glares at Daria)

Jane and Daria: Sure

That Friday they all met at the movie theater. Chris, Daria, and Jane. Turns out Quinn, Trent, and Jesse didn't go.

Jane: Jesse fell asleep.

Daria: So did Trent.

Chris: Quinn had a Fashion Club meeting.

They all went in Chris bought them all snacks and drinks. After the movie they all went to Chris's house. They all watched Sick Sad World. Then Daria and Jane left. The next day Chris had to talk to Jane in private.

Chris: Jane can you keep a secret?

Jane: Sure.

Chris: I have a crush on Daria.

Jane: Whoa.

Meanwhile.

Quinn: Sandi can you keep a secret?

Sandi: Sure.

Quinn: I like that stoner from the mall.

Sandi: You mean Jay.

Quinn: Yea.

Chris and Quinn (at two separate places): I'll tell her/him tonight.

Later on Chris and Quinn run into each other.

Chris: Lets go to dinner at that pizza place tonight.

Quinn: Sure ok.

That day after school at the mall.

Daria: I can't believe I'm saying this but will you go out with me tonight.

Jay: Hells Yea my girlfriend broke up with me.

Daria: Lets go that pizza place.

That night at the pizza place.

Chris and Quinn: I have something to tell you.

Chris: You tell me first.

Quinn: I like that guy Jay from the mall.

Chris was in shock.

Chris: Well I respect your opinion. Besides I like your sister Daria.

Quinn: WHAT.

Daria and Jay who over heard this were shock. First Daria got up and walked to Chris.

Daria: So you want to go out with me.

Chris: Yes.

Daria: Cool.

So that leaves Jay and Quinn.

Jay: So did you ever.

Chris slapped in the face.

Chris: Don't say it you fucking idiot.

So Jay and Quinn hooked up. And so did Chris and Daria.

Jane: Did you notice I'm still without a boyfriend?

Silent Bob walks to her.

Silent Bob: Want to go out with me.

Jane: Sure.

The End!

Daria: Thank God