A series of mini-sized-fic-lets by SoulfulZen

I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I had writing them. Thnx readers! Bye!

Death by Ladybug

A VERY short story about Kevin and Brittany going to a statewide football competition. VERY funny.

(Scene: Kevin and Brittany are in Kevin's new convertible, driving top-down on the highway)

Kevin: So, babe, where are we going again?

Brittany: We're going to the state spirit/football competition, babe!

Kevin: Oh, yeah. (Suddenly a ladybug flies down Kevin's throat) Aaargh!

Brittany: What is it, Kevvy?

Kevin: (now blue in the face and grabbing his throat) Aaargh! (Coughing out of control)

Brittany: (She grabs the wheel and tries to drive, and succeeds in crashing into a tree, setting the car on fire, heads of both fly onto road. The ladybug flies out of Kevin's throat. Tiny camera is revealed on robotic ladybug. Switch to a green car with Tom, Daria and Jane inside, screen shows heads, all laugh, and Daria drives over the two dead one's heads.)


A Meeting with Fate

The second installment in my "Sudden Death" series, the first of which was Death by Ladybug, my first fanfic. Five-minute fic-lets for your pleasure.

Scene: The fashion club is at a store called "Spyke's piercings" with a sign that says "Free Piercings Today Only"

Sandi: So it's decided, we all get belly rings.

Quinn: But Sandi, what about those cute little ladybug earrings that you like?

Sandi: Alright, we all get whatever we want, one ear or bellybutton.

Attendant: (entering from curtain, looks suspiciously familiar, but wearing surgical gear) We can take one person. You go first (grabbing Quinn).

Tiffany: Cool.

Stacy: Are you sure this is okay?

Attendant: Don't sweat it. If you don't like the piercings, you can take out the rings and the holes will close right up. (takes Quinn out, as Tom (!) and Trent leave, both with earrings)

Attendant 2: (sticking head out from behind curtain, also familiar but wearing surgical gear) We can take all three of you now. (all three go back)

(Suddenly, screams of Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy. Three attendants come out, the third looks familiar, are joined by Tom, now earringless, and Trent. Attendants are revealed to be Jane, Daria and Quinn. All hi-five as a hypodermic needle rolls out from behind curtain. It is marked "Iocane solution". All three laugh.)


If you need an explanation, you are one stupid freak.

Click Click Boom!

The third of four ficlets in my Sudden Death series. Who gets it now? Just read THIS!

Scene: Upchuck is driving down the highway.

Upchuck: I wonder who this "Secret Admirer" is.

(Suddenly, something explodes under his tires, fliping his car. Blood flows out from under it. And brains. Quinn drives up in a moped and stops behind the wreckage. Daria, Tom, Jane and Trent crash into her moped. She goes flying and lands on a pile of firecrackers. Even more blood begins flowing. Many screams ensue. Quinn's mutilated head flies out from the hole. All four in the car laugh, and Daria makes two check marks on a piece of paper.)

Daria: Six down, one to go. (all laugh)


Buddha bang!

The final and longest mini-fanfic in my "Sudden Death" series. It's really a normal sized fanfic. Who's the last to go? And what were the motivations for these killings? And who gave them that list?

Scene 1: Ms. Li's Office. Daria and Tom are dressed as ninjas and have snuck in.

Daria: Ready?

Tom: Ready. You set the bomb, I'll prevent any escape.

Daria: Alright. Let's do it.

(Daria replaces Ms. Li's buddha statue with an identical replica. Tom super glues the window and bathroom door shut. He also lines the outside door with super glue.)

Daria: Done?

Tom: Done. Let's get out of here.

Daria: Agreed.

Tom: Don't close the door.

Daria: Got it.

(Both leave. Ms. Li comes in and closes the door.)

Li: Now where did I leave my camera?

Scene 2: School hallway. Outside Ms. Li's office. Daria, Jane, Tom and Trent are standing there in street clothes.

Daria: Ready?

Jane: Just do it.

Daria: I assume you don't like dramatic tension.

Trent: Just press the button and be done with it.

Daria: Alright, but what if it...

(Scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Tim*: Get on with it!

Roaring Army: (yells of agreement with Tim)

(End part)

Daria: Jeez, hold your horses, will you?

(Another bit)

God: Get on with it!

(That's all)

Daria: Fine. (Presses button on little remote. There is a sudden flash from inside the room. Ms. Li is screaming. Smoke is seeping from the edges of the door)

Tom: Let's get out of here and get our rewards.

Scene 3: A large mansion on the outside of town. Night has fallen. The four walk up to the door. Daria rings the bell.

Daria: Hello? Are you there?

???: Yes, I'm here. Come in.

(All enter the mansion. A man is facing the other way in a large armchair.)

Tom: Alright, SoulfulZen, it's done.

SoulfulZen: (turning chair around) Good job. How'd you do it?

Jane: Well, we tricked Kevin into taking Brittany to a state cheerleading/football competition. Then we used a mechanical ladybug to choke Kevin to death. His car crashed into a tree, killing Brittany as well.

Trent: We got Quinn to help us kill Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy. We set up a fake piercing stand and gave them iocane injections. Plus Trent got a new earring in the process.

SoulfulZen: Well, how did you kill Quinn?

Tom: I'll tell you. We tricked Upchuck into driving out of town, and we hid a bunch of fireworks in the road so that when he drove over, the car flipped and he was crushed. We tricked Quinn into driving up on a moped, and then we crashed into her, flipping her face-first into our secondary fireworks pit.

SoulfulZen: Good. Now, what about Ms. Li?

Daria: We sealed her in her office and replaced her jade buddha with a bomb.

SoulfulZen: Very good. Now, what do you want in return?

Daria: Every episode of Sick, Sad World on DVD and website software.

Jane: Lots of high-quality paints, brushes and easels, as well as introduction to a gallery owner.

Trent: A vintage stratocaster signed by Jimmy Hendrix and an amp.

Tom: A trip for two to Disneyland.

SoulfulZen: Nobody wants immortality?

All: What?

SoulfulZen: Immortality. Nobody wants it?

Daria: I do.

Jane: Same.

Tom: Count me in.

Trent: What the heck.

SoulfulZen: Wonderful. But first, drinks. (I pull out a bottle of red liquid. I pour five glasses of it, and add a bit of grape juice to each.)

Daria: (takes a drink) Mmm. It's good. What is this?

SoulfulZen: An old family recipie. (all finish drinks) And now for the immortality ceremony.

(Chains suddenly appear. They tie all four by the feet to the chandelier. The chains procede to wrap up the bodies.)

Ladies: Eeep!

Men: Aaah!

SoulfulZen: You will live forever as children of the night! You shall be my vampire children! Muahahaha! Where to begin. Ah! Little Janey!

Trent: You touch her and I'll kill you!

SoulfulZen: Not if you're the first to go! (I bite Trent's neck. He goes pale.)

Jane: Nooooo!

SoulfulZen: Now you, Jane Lane. (I bite Jane's neck. She goes pale.)

Tom: Whatever happens now, I love you Daria.

Daria: I love you too. (both kiss)

SoulfulZen: And now for the lovers. Ha ha! (I bite Tom's neck. He goes pale.)

Daria: No! Why couldn't you have killed me first. Why!

SoulfulZen: They are not dead. They will wake up tomorrow night. But as my vampire minions, as will you.

Daria: So this was all about getting vampire minions!

SoulfulZen: I found it an easy way to gain minions and kill idiots. You see, to become a vampire you must kill for the sake of another vampire. I made you four kill them for rewards. Next, you must drink human blood.

Daria: The drinks!

SoulfulZen: Precisely. I found pure human blood rather salty when I became a vampire. I figured this recipie out in the 1600's. It is an old recipie founded by family. Myself! Then, you must be drained of blood removed from the neck. My mouth gets sore from sucking all of the blood out of a human from the neck, so I usually feed from the ankle, or in special cases, with my victims upside-down.

Daria: How do you plan to hide us from sun? Unless, of course, the "sun is death" thing is a myth.

SoulfulZen: It's true. I will lock you in coffins. You will awake and I will teach you how to live anew! But first, I must drain you. I shall make a small puncture in your neck. Your blood will begin to flow, just a trickle, but enough for me to feed. Your life as a human will ebb away. Slowly, from the feet up, or in this instance, down. I will be sucking, my heart beating with the blood of your fresh corpse! But because you are the last, I will not suck your blood. I will simply let it drain into my waiting mouth!

(I bite)

Daria: No! You bastard! (her voice begins to fade) No! Tom... help me... no... no...

SoulfulZen: It is done.

The End!

Watch for my next fic-series, "The Vampire Chronicles"!