Sick, Sad, Jamboree

by

Diana Morgan

(It's around 6:50 in the morning the birds are outside preparing to greet the day with song. Daria is asleep in her bed having a rather odd dream. The scene shifts and we can see into her dream. She is wearing a white long dress, standing facing a waterfall, not wearing her glasses, and is wearing a wreath of flowers.)

Voice: Daria?

Daria: (Turns around.) Yes?

(The voice belongs to Trent. He is seen walking out of the shadows wearing a white shirt and black pants.)

Trent: Daria, there is something that I have been wanting to tell you for so long.

Daria: (Starts to blush.) Yes

Trent: What I want to tell you is… DARIA GET YOUR ASS UP!

Daria: (Wakes up.) huh ?!

Helen: (From down stairs.) DARIA I'VE CALLED YOU THREE TIMES. GET UP OR I'M COMING UP THERE!

Daria: (Covers her head with the blanket.) damn

(Alarm goes off.)

Daria: A little late aren't we?

(Offspring's The kid's aren't all right begins.)

(Daria turns the alarm off on her clock before the radio automatically cuts on. Sleepily she peers from under her blanket and rolls out of bed. After landing on the floor she stands up and looks around for her glasses. Not being able to actually see wear she is going she stumbles over a box that's filled with bones and laying in the middle of the floor. Eventually she finds them and opens her closet that reveals a bunch of skirts , burnt orange shirts, a green jacket, and her trusty pair of boots. She grabs her usual combination and heads for the bathroom expecting to get in , but when she tries to open the bathroom door she was greeted by Quinn.)

Quinn: Wait your turn!

(Since Daria knew where this was going she turns around and walks back to her room so she could wait for the makeup wizard to leave the lair. Downstairs, Helen hears Daria walking back to her room & yells again.)

Helen: DARIA GET A MOVE ON NOW!

Daria: (Without turning around, she replies.) Quinn 's in the bathroom.

Helen: (Yells back this time at Quinn.) QUINN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM NOW!

(Upstairs. Quinn is still in the bathroom applying eye shadow. After she hears what Helen said she picks up all of her makeup and personal needs and yells back.)

Quinn: OH ALL RIGHT (Opens the door yells) the bathroom's all yours and hurry up! You don't have much to do any way.

Daria: Whatever.

(Daria walks past Quinn to bathroom and opens the door .Suddenly she was greeted by the combination smell of Tommy Girl, Joop, & C K 1. The combination smelled like something crawled in there, died, and decayed. After a minute of coughing she finally closed the door. Meanwhile downstairs in the kitchen, Helen is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and talking on her cell phone.)

Helen: (Nods her head.) Uh huh! Yes well then cancel my 9:00 meeting and reschedule it for 6:00

Yeah! O. K! Then tell them that I won't be able to make it. (The telephone beeps indicating that Helen has another call and she quickly interrupts Marriane.) Hold on (Switches the telephone line.) Hello? Eric? Yes, I do have the weekend off. (After hearing what Eric has to say she grits her teeth and fakes cheerfulness) Why of course. I'll be more than HAPPY to make it to the trial. ( Eric continues talking and Helen nods her head.) Uh ! Yes, I see

(Later, while Helen was still talking to Eric, Daria walks down the stairs with her book bag slung over her shoulder and a rolled up newspaper under her arm. She drops the book bag off on the love seat, walks into the kitchen, and heads for the toaster. She opens the cabinet above the microwave and takes out a package of bread, opens it and puts two slices of bread in the toaster.)

Helen: (Still on the phone with Eric.) No, I didn't have anything planned this Saturday except Family Night but I'm sure that they will understand.

Daria: (Looks at her mother, shakes her head, looks out of the window above the sink, and mumbles under her breath.) Just like last time and the time before that and so on.

Helen: (Finishes her conversation with Eric.) O.K. great then it's settled bye! (Switches telephone line back to Marianne.) Marriane? (Looks at her watch. In an annoyed tone of voice.) Oh never mind. I'll tell you at the office. (She hangs up, picks up her briefcase, and rushes to the door. She finds enough time to tell Daria "bye") Have a nice day at school sweetie. If I'm not home later there's leftovers in the freezer.

Daria: (Takes the pieces of toast and puts it on of those mini plates.) As always.

(Daria walks over to the table, sits down and removes the newspaper from under her arm. She unrolls it and begins to read. Later, Quinn walks into the kitchen and goes straight to the refrigerator. She opens it and looks into it for a minute. Looks out of the refrigerator and turns her head towards Daria.)

Quinn: Where's the skim milk?

(Daria shrugs her shoulders.)

(Quinn closes the refrigerator door & walks to the cabinet above the microwave and opens it. While she rummages through the cabinet she makes some sort of high pitched nasal noise.)

Quinn: Where's the crackers?

Daria: (Bites her piece of toast.) How should I know?

(Quinn gets frustrated, closes the cabinet & walks up to Daria.)

Quinn: (Puts her hands on her hips.) Are you even listening to me?

Daria: (Looks up from the newspaper.) What?

(Quinn throws up her hands and lets out a loud sigh then she turns around and leaves out the room. A couple of minutes later you hear the front door open and close Pleased with her response, Daria grins. After Daria finishes her toast, she puts the plate in the sink grabs her book bag from off of the couch and walks out of the house.)

(After we see Daria leave the house, we later see the exterior of Lawndale High in view. The bell just rang and people are running to class or talking in the middle of the hall way. Someone is putting up a poster on a locker reading "LAWNDALE JAMBOREE! Come out and support your school." As the camera zooms out we can see that it's Jodie.)

Jodie: (Steps back to look at the sign.) There that should do it. (Walks off.)

(Just as Jodie is walking off, Andrea walks up to the locker and looks at the poster in disgust. She snatches it down, tosses it to the floor, & opens her locker. Jodie notices this and walks up to the poster that took her so long to create.)

Jodie: (Picks up the poster and sighs.) Some times I wonder why I even try.

(After relocating the poster to another place, this time on a wall, she rushes to Ms. Barch's class hoping that she didn't miss anything. Fortunately she was in luck, no one is actually doing anything except the males, who were cleaning the desks with toothbrushes. She places her bag on the table and watches the boy's scrub the tables. Jodie notices Mack in the back of the class scrubbing the second to the last desk. Behind him was Kevin who has , some how, persuaded Brittany into coming back there with him to make out underneath table. Later, the two love birds got caught when Brittany whimpered and Kevin was forced to clean the boy's rest rooms. After seeing this happen, Jodie changes her mind about waving to Mack knowing that Ms. Barch will probably make him join Kevin in disinfecting the toilets with Lysol.)

(Ms. Barch watches the boys scrape the old pieces of gum from under the desk that was probably there since the 70's, and smiles. Figuring that if she can't take her anger out on her ex-husband, who left her for a blonde with a double D- bra size while on their vacation to Tiajuana, Mexico, she might as well take it out on the entire male population of Lawndale High.)

Ms. Barch: That'll teach you to leave your stuff around.

(Intercom makes a clicking and buzzing sound. Everyone stops what they are doing and covers their ears until the noise stops. Then Ms Li gives her announcement.)

Ms.Li: (Speaks calmly but loudly into the microphone with her hands folded.) Attention students! This Saturday we will be having our first Lawndale Jamboree! There will be tons of Food, Folks & Fun! Those who know anyone who graduated from Lawndale please encourage them to show up. I really hope that all of you show up and support your school. Kudos! (She turns off the intercom and completes adding some names to the detention list.)

(The class resumed back to what they were doing before Ms. Li's announcement but were interrupted again by Ms. Barch.)

Ms.Barch: (Turns around and faces the rest of the class with her hands folded. She begins to speak.) Well since you all know what we expected to do this weekend. Let's not forget.… like he did. (The tone of her voice slowly rises as she begins to remember her bitter years when she was married.) I waited 4 hours at Chez Pierre for him and did he show up… NO! That's what I get for trusting that no good, two timing….

(While the rest of the class gives Ms. Barch their undivided attention, Daria & Jodie look at each other with a " Here we go again" expression on their face and clear their throats hoping that they could snap Ms.Barch out of her speech or they would have to spend their study hour listening to what should have been on Ricky Lake. Successfully she stops her speech and just before the bell rang.)

Ms. Barch: Huh?! Oh never mind.

(The bell rings and everyone leaves out of the classroom and they either go to their next class or find their friends to hold a conversation with in the hall. Daria walks up to her locker to exchange some of her books for her next classes. Jane walks down the hallway to tell her friend the good news before she went to her next class. She stands behind her and puts a folded piece of newspaper showing a highlighted advertisement in Daria's way.)

Jane: Read this and be amazed.

Daria: (Takes the paper and reads it out loud.) Sick Sad World Live. Yeah so?

(Thinking that this is just a regular episode she looks up at Jane expecting an explanation.)

Jane: (Points to the top of the advertisement that was highlighted.) Not just any episode, but an All new, never before seen, banned in numerous states, one time only episode.

Daria: (Hands Jane the newspaper back and closes her locker.) Whose house are we watching it at? Yours or mine?

Jane: Mine of course. I'll grab some money from my mom, order a pizza , and we'll make a night of it. So are you there?

Daria: I don't have any thing better to do… why the hell not.

Jane: O.K. cool. See ya. (Turns around walks off.)

(Daria walks in the other direction to her class. Meanwhile in the ladies room, the Fashion Club was having a meeting in front of the mirror while applying makeup. Their lunch period was almost over so Sandi decided to make her closing comments.)

Sandi: Tonight we will have an emergency meeting at my house involving fund raisers to increase our spending money any questions before this meeting is over?

Quinn: (Puts her eyeliner down on the counter.) I uh wont be able to make the meeting tonight.

Sandi: (Looks at her.) Oh and why is that?

Quinn: I have a date with Joey at 7:00, a movie with Jeffy at 8:30,& I don't know what Jarron has planned but he said it was better than Joey or Jeffy's idea.

Stacy: (Realizes that Quinn said the wrong name and corrects her.) You mean Jamie?

Quinn: (Rolls her eyes.) Whatever, anyway this is very important to me can we please reschedule the meeting.

Sandi: (Folds her arms.) Oh… I see so you think that your dates are more important than our meeting?

Quinn: I'm not saying that Sandi.

Sandi: Then what ARE you saying Quinn?

Quinn: (Looks into the mirror and plays with her hair.) I'm just saying that in order to maintain my popularity I have to make sacrifices. Please understand that I would never miss any of your meetings for the world.

(By looking at Sandi's face, It appears as if she doesn't really believe what Quinn said about not missing a meeting but she decides to reschedule. She let's out a loud sigh and points at Quinn with a strict expression on her face. Her voice slowly gets louder.)

Sandi: Meeting -7:00- Thursday-my house-DON'T BE LATE.

(Walks out of the Rest room in a hurry & Stacy follows right behind her. Quinn watches Sandi leave then stands there staring at the door & Tiffany walks up to Quinn and does what she does best… instigates.)

Quinn: Sandi is so mean.

Tiffany: Yeah. She shouldn't try to run you. You're better than her.

Quinn: Thank you

(Later it's 6:00 at the Morgendorffer Residence. Every one was following their daily routine, Helen is doing paperwork, Jake is attempting to create a new pasta dish, Daria is upstairs in her room reading a book, & Quinn is in her room talking on the phone before one of her dates.)

Quinn: (Walking around in her room listening to Stacy talk.) Yes Stacy… no … no … No I don't know if Sandi is at home ...Why don't you call her?… Look, call me back when you stop crying… No … no ...good-bye Stacy… GOOD BYE STACY. (Hangs up the phone & walks over to her closet. She looks through her selection of evening wear and finally pulls out a sky blue evening dress. She walks over to her floor length mirror examines herself while holding the dress up to her.)

Quinn: Should I? … No (Throws the outfit down in disgust. Turns around goes back to her closet.)

(While Quinn was deciding on an outfit, down the hall her older sister, Daria, was in her room laying on her bed reading a collection of books by Ernest Hemingway. Her concentration suddenly broken by Quinn's yelling down the hall.)

Daria: Not again (She puts down her book and walks over to her bookshelf to turns on the radio. Then she turns around and returns back to her bed but, before Daria can sit down someone knocks on her door. For some odd reason she knew who it was and goes to answer the door. At Daria's point of view we can see that it's Quinn who is wearing a pink strapless dress.)

Quinn: I know that this may sound really stupid….

Daria: Too late for that.

Quinn: (Puts her hands on her hips.) Don't interrupt. Anyway have you seen my pink high heels anywhere?

Daria: Do I look like I've seen your heels?

Quinn: Oh you're right. (Laughs.) To think that you, with no fashion sense, would know where something that glamorous was?

(Daria doesn't even let Quinn start another comment and slams the door in her face.)

Quinn: (Yells at her sister from behind the door.) Fine be that way!

Daria: O.K. (Turns the volume up on the radio.) (Kid Rock's Cowboy is playing.)

Quinn: (Walks off.) UGH!

(A loud horn honks from outside. Quinn gets a panicked look over her face. She knows that she's late so she thinks fast.)

Quinn: (Runs into her room.) I guess I'll have to go with the Sky blue dress. It's the only one that I can find my shoes to.

(After she changes her outfit, Quinn runs down stairs with her heels in her hand. As soon as she gets downstairs she puts on her shoes, takes a deep breath ,opens the front door and walks out.)

(Later around 1:00 am at the Morgendorffer Residence, the front door slowly opens and Quinn walks into the door looking extremely tired. She closes the door, takes off her shoes, and attempts to sneak up stares trying not to wake anyone.)

Voice: And where have you been all this time?

(Quinn's eyes widen as she quickly turns around. The voice that she heard belonged to Helen who was looking at her from the base of the steps with her arms folded and a stern look on her face.)

Quinn: Mom?

Helen: I had some extra work to do at the office and I just got home. When I found out that you weren't here yet I decided to stay up & wait on you. Now my question is: Where have you been all this time?

(Hearing this puts complete fear in Quinn's heart as she is turns around and walks into the kitchen with her mother.)

-Commercial break-

Act II

(It's Thursday evening at Lawndale High and students, mostly Juniors and Seniors, are in the hall on their way to their last classes. Mack and Kevin, both proud members of the football team, are standing at the water fountains holding a conversation that Mack is trying unsuccessfully to get out of.)

Kevin: So Bro , What are you planning on doing this weekend?

Mack: Not hanging around you.

Kevin: (Laughs.)

Mack: No I'm serious

Kevin: Oh.

(Before Kevin can begin to say anything else, Brittany walks up to him trying to keep a straight face before she yells at him.)

Brittany: Kevvy!

Kevin: (Turns around.) Yeah babe?

Brittany: You love me right?

Kevin: sure.

Brittany: (Puts her hand on her hips , stamps her foot, looks him straight in the eye, and begins to yell.) THEN WHY DID I HEAR THAT YOU TOOK SOME RED HEAD TO THE MOVIES?

Kevin: I didn't go to the movies with a red head. (Laughs.) It was the mall with a blonde.

Brittany: I… I… HATE YOU… I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!

(While Kevin & Brittany are arguing, Ms.Li has quietly walked up behind them & is now listen in on their conversation.)

Mack: (Remembers the last time that Kevin & Brittany had this argument so he asks.) For how long?

(Kevin and Brittany look at Mack as if they were telling him to leave. Quickly, He gets the hint.)

Mack: I'm gone (Walks off.)

Kevin: I'm sorry (Tries to hug her but she walks off.)

Kevin: Babe… Babe… if there's anything that you want me to do let me know. I'll do anything.

(Brittany stops, her face brightens up when she hears the word " anything" & turns around with a huge smile on her face.)

Brittany: Any thing?

Kevin: Of course. I'll do any thing for you babe.

Brittany: Then take me to Cashmans Saturday and later we can go to the carnival.

Kevin: uh… O.K. you want to buy a couple of out fits?

Brittany: (Points at him.) No YOU'RE going to buy ME a couple of outfits so come prepared. (Walks off.)

Kevin: (Moans.)

(Ms. Li heard that they aren't going to attend and is upset.)

Ms. Li: (Walks away.) This is not good.

(While walking down the hall she notices Jodie & Mack walking down the hall & decides to eavesdrop. She catches them in mid-conversation.)

Mack: So after she found out that Kevin went out on a date with some other blonde she yelled at him and walked off.

Jodie: (Looks up at him.) What happened after that?

Mack: I don't know. I walked off. (Pause.) So what are you planning on doing this Saturday? Spending it with that special someone?

Jodie: (Disappointed she sighs and shakes her head.) I wish that I could but I have to baby-sit my little sister & brother this weekend... Sorry.

Mack: (Disappointed as well.) Yeah O.K. well… since I don't have any thing to do I might as well go to the picnic.

(Hearing what Mack just said Ms. Li begins to smile.)

Mack: No wait! I have a test that I need to study for I can't.

(Ms. Li quickly frowns and mumbles something under her breath.)

Jodie: Well I'm sure that Ms. Li will understand.

Ms. Li: (Walks off in disgust.) UGH!

(Mack & Jodie exchange looks knowing where this might lead to.)

Both: uh oh.

(Around the same time, Daria & Jane were at the lockers and Daria was talking about what happened this morning since Jane came to school late and Daria forgot to tell her this morning in History.)

Daria: And now she's grounded for a month. No parties, No dates, nothing.

Jane: Whoa, and how is she coping with this?

Daria: Well this morning she was whining about how unfair life is, then she tried to beg mom into letting her go this time. something about a fashion club meeting but the mighty Helen said no.

Jane: Damn, Helen's finally taking control huh?

Daria: I guess.

(It's lunch time for the freshmen & sophomores classes. Quinn was at a table surrounded by Freshmen & Sophomore males. A couple of minutes later a group of Senior guys ,who are cutting class, walked up to the table.)

Freshmen male #1: You are so beautiful !

Quinn : I know.

Senior male #1: Will you go out with me this Friday?

Quinn: I'll think about it.

(While all of the guys at the table are complementing Quinn, Stacy & Tiffany walk up to table.)

Stacy: um Quinn? (Quinn looks up.) Sandi wants to know if she can expect you at the meeting?

Quinn: Umm yeah (Looks around.) Where is she?

Tiffany: She didn't tell us.

Stacy: She just told us to ask you about the meeting and then she walked off.

Quinn: Oh… O.K. well tell her that I will be there… ON TIME.

Stacy: Great. Then we'll see you there.

Tiffany: Yeah.

(They turn around & walk off in search of Sandi. Slowly Quinn realizes that she was grounded and there was no way that she could leave the house tonight because her mother was coming home early . While she is thinking Joey slowly tries to lean on Quinn.)

Quinn: Not now! (Gets up runs off.)

(Quinn runs down the hall and searches every rest room finally she finds Sandi in the hallway.)

Quinn: (Yells.) Sandi! Sandi!

Sandi: (Turns around to see who was calling her. When she noticed Quinn coming towards her she lets out a sigh.) What is it now?

Quinn: It's about Tonight's meeting.

Sandi: No excuses Quinn. Either you show up or you're out! (Walks off.)

Quinn: Oh no.

(It was the last class of the day and Mr. O' Neill was going over was going over a story in class but no one was really paying much attention.)

Mr. O' Neill: So what was Ernest Hemingway trying to say when he wrote the story "In Another Country"? anyone?

(We can see that at Mr. O' Neill's point of view, some students are either talking to others, asleep, or reading. No one actually notices that Mr. O' Neill is about to cry. Again the Intercom makes a clicking and buzzing noise, this time not as loud, as Ms. Li gets ready to make another. This time her voice sounds tense and upset.)

Ms Li: Attention students! I over heard a group of students mention that they have plans for Saturday. So now I will make this Jamboree Mandatory! Tickets will be $3.00. I urge you to cancel your plans and join the festivities. Those who don't show up will either be expelled or will have to answer to me. Have a nice day. (She turns the intercom off.)

(The class was in shock, they made plans for Saturday and now they were blown away. Kevin was overfilled with joy, he knew that he didn't have to take Brittany to Cashmans. Brittany caught the sight of him from the corner of her eye. She turned around and stared at him with a furious look in her eyes. Kevin saw this and suddenly found out that this Saturday's mall event was not over. Daria wasn't paying attention to the announcement but Jane heard every word. Stunned, she turned to Daria to see if she heard the bad news but Daria was still reading her book. Jane shook her head and asked Daria some very important questions.)

Jane: Daria? The picnic is on Saturday, right?

Daria: (Reading a book and not really paying attention to Jane.) Uh huh.

Jane: And Sick Sad World * Live * is coming on Saturday for one time only… right?

Daria: (Still not looking up but she's starting to suspect something.) Yeah... why?

Jane: I guess you weren't paying attention. Ms. Li just made it mandatory now we HAVE TO GO!

Daria: (Puts the book down slowly on her desk and looks up.) Damn!

(The school day was over and every one went home with sad and miserable expressions on their faces. Not much was said as the two girls walked to the Lane Residence. They stopped into the kitchen to get sodas before heading up to Jane's room to Watch Sick Sad World. Today it was a rerun but it was still a good show. A little around 8 years old walks into her room and gets ready for bed. She starts to hear laughing coming from underneath the bed. All of a sudden the bed starts to glow, a hand comes from under the bed, and pulls the girl under.)

Little girl: Mommy?

Television Announcer: The Boogie man? Freddie Cruger? Godzilla? Are their really monsters under your bed? Childhood nightmares next on * Sick Sad World *

(Jane turns the television on mute and looks under her bed.)

Daria: (Looks over to Jane.) They're out for lunch.

Jane: So what are we going to do about the Saturday problem?

Daria: Two choices: either we stay here, watch the live episode, and deal with Ms. Li on Monday. Or Go to the Jamboree, become bored out of our minds, miss Sick Sad World, and wish we pick the first choice.

Jane: (Gets up and walks over to her easel and prepares her paints.) Oh you make this too easy for me. If we do decide to go to the Jamboree Saturday, do you think that I should tell Trent about it? He did go to Lawndale and I think he graduated… I forget sometimes.

(While Jane was talking, Trent was on his way to Nick's house to rehearse. Before

he goes down the stairs, he hears his name and decides to walk up to Jane's room to listen in on the conversation.)

Daria: Do you think that he'll actually go.

Jane: (Picks up a paintbrush and dips it in red paint.) Hmm … you're right maybe I won't tell him.

(Trent uses that as his queue to walk in and find out what they were talking about.)

Trent: Tell me what?

(Jane turns around and begins to speak.)

Jane: There's a picnic going on in front of the school and were supposed to find someone who went to Lawndale to attend (Realizing that she just did what she said she wouldn't do, she covers her mouth and looks at Daria nervously.) OOPS!

Daria: Ha, Ha.

Trent: Hmm I'll think about it. (Walks out and goes down stairs.)

Jane: (Looks at Daria.) See? He said that he'll think about it.

Daria: Whatever. Look I gotta get going I'll catch you later.

Jane: All right. See ya.

(Daria turns and leaves out of Jane's room. When she got down stairs Trent was in the kitchen talking to Nick on the telephone. His back was turned so he didn't see her leave. On her way home she saw Kevin's jeep drive past with a brunette by his side. She shook her head and kept walking. About three minutes later, Daria was walking up to her front door. She pulls her keys out of her jacket pocket and unlocks the door. Noticing that Quinn and Helen are in the Kitchen talking, she decides not to close the door yet.)

Quinn: (Sitting on top of one of the kitchen counters and swinging her legs back and forth.) Come on Mom you gotta let me go tonight. Sandi's holding the meeting at her house and if I don't show up I'll get kicked out of the Fashion Club.

Helen: (Sitting at the dinner table going over the bills.) No Quinn! You can not go any where for a month especially on a School night. I'm sure that Sandi will understand. (Looks up at Quinn.) Don't you have homework to do?

Quinn: (Folds her arms and pouts.) I don't understand it.

Helen: Well why don't you ask your sister I'm sure she'll know.

Quinn: (Turns her head away from Helen.) Yeah like she knew where my high heels were.

Helen: (Was caught off guard and looks at Quinn with a puzzled look on her face.) Come again?

Quinn: (Unfolds her arms and hops off of the counter.) Yesterday I asked her if she knew where my high heels were, she said "no" and all I said was " people ,like her, with no fashion sense wouldn't even know if they saw something that glamorous" and she slammed the door in my face.

Helen: (Her puzzled look turned to an expression of disgust.) Quinn, that was very rude of you. How do think she felt?

Quinn: (Walks to the refrigerator and gets a soda.) I don't know. Face it mom, Daria has no fashion sense AT ALL. She probably won't get her first date until she's in her 30's.

(In the living room, after hearing what Quinn just said, Daria begins to frown and keeps her attention on the conversation in the kitchen.)

Helen: (Slams her fists on the table.) QUINN! STOP IT! RIGHT NOW!

Quinn: (Opens her soda ,takes a sip and puts it on the counter.) Admit it mom. Have you seen any guy come to our house and ask for Daria so that they could take her out on a date?

Helen: (Nods her head.) Yes, quite a few times.

Quinn: (Puts her hands on her hips.) That WASN'T a joke.

Helen: (Looks away and thinks about it.) Well now that you mentioned it no. Maybe she should open up more to people I don't understand why she refuses to .

Quinn: (Hold up two fingers and puts them back down.) Two words: SHE'S UGLY.

Helen: (Stunned.) QUINN!

Quinn: (Folds her arms.) Is she cuter then me?

Helen: (Reveals an uneasy facial expression.) I refuse to answer that .

Quinn: (Stomps her foot and gets louder.) IS SHE CUTER THEN ME?

Helen: Well… No.

Quinn: (Waves one of her hands.) Then she's ugly.

Helen: (Looks down at the table and doesn't say anything for a minute then she speaks.) I wouldn't say that… just humble. (Looks up at Quinn.) What's wrong with that?

(When Helen said that, Daria's was in shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. This from woman who always tried to bring up her confidence and make her change her wardrobe. Now she knew why.)

Daria: (V. O.) I can't believe this.… my own mother.

(In the kitchen, Quinn was pacing around giving Helen numerous reasons why being " humble " was so wrong.)

Quinn: A LOT! Mom if you're "humble" then you get no dates, never invited to a party, and any thing you wear will not look good AT ALL! . (Throws her head back and smiles.) I'm glad that I wasn't born "humble."

(Daria can take anymore of this. She had just been insulted by her both her mother and Quinn. Filled with anger & sadness, she slams the front door and runs up the stairs. Helen and Quinn were startled by the front door closing and automatically knew that Daria heard the entire conversation. Helen's face appeared as if she was told that someone died. Quinn finishes drinking her soda and looks at her mom, not caring about what just happened.)

Helen: Oh my.

Quinn: So can I go to the Fashion Club meeting?

Helen: (Looks at Quinn.) I can't believe how insensitive you are. Don't you realize what we have just done?

Quinn: (Getting tired of the situation, she rolls her eyes and begins to speak in an annoyed tone.) She'll get over it. Now can I leave now?

(Helen's heart rapidly filled with anger as she stands up and begins to yell. Quinn yells in return about how unfair her mother is and how she has to get to the meeting. Just then all the anger that was inside of Helen came flowing out, like an exploding volcano, revealing the Helen that Quinn has never seen before. With a swing of her arm, Helen slaps Quinn and knocks her onto the floor. Quinn looks up at her mother with a look of shock. She had never been slapped by her mother before only when she and Daria got into fights but this hit hurt more than anything that Daria has ever given her. Unable to speak, Quinn gets up and runs to her room with her eyes filled with tears. Helen watched her leave then she looked at her hand. There was a feeling that was coming over her that she hasn't felt in a long time. She fell to the floor and began to cry. Daria heard the whole argument from her room but she was to angry to even care. While reading the rest of her book she was interrupted by the memories of her childhood. TLC's Unpretty Plays & you can hear the lyrics.)

(Before her parents even thought of moving to Lawndale Daria and Quinn stayed in Highland. When Daria was 10 & Quinn was 8 ½ ,even then Quinn has well liked among people. Kids used to come over their house and asked if Quinn could come out side to play but they would never ask Daria. It was because her glasses that made them treat her differently and call her such names as "nerd" " four eyes" and "book worm". Having no friends gave Daria more free time to read and write stories. One day Helen and Jake were having their house remodeled and they sent the girls outside to play. While they were outside, as usual, children came around to play with Quinn and Daria was left alone to sit under their tree in the front yard to read a book. On a dare, one of Quinn's little friends quietly tiptoed behind Daria, grabbed a lock of her hair and, with all of his might, pulled it towards him. Daria let out a painful shriek, quickly grabbed the spot on her head where the hair was pulled, and flung her head forward. The little boy ran away while the rest of the children, including Quinn, laughed. Daria just looked at them and cried.)

(Another memory came to mind. It was Daria's 11th birthday and she has been anticipating this day for a very long time. There were streamers and balloons everywhere. They even hired a clown to entertain the guests. Out of all these things nothing surprised her more than the table of gifts that the guests left for her. After everyone sung " Happy Birthday" and the cake was cut the moment that she has been waiting for all day had came. It was time to open the gifts. She grabbed the first present that was covered with star pattern wrapping paper and quickly unwrapped it. What could it be? New books for her collection? Maybe a new game for her game boy? No it was… A STUFFED PINK RABBIT! Daria was in shock she wanted to know who could give her such an awful gift? She looked at the tag that was tied around the rabbit's neck and it read: TO QUINN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOVE GRANDMA! She just looked at her grandmother who had a very mortified look on her face. She forgot that Quinn wasn't the only child. Daria just pushed the present aside and open the next box. She thought that her problems would stop there but after opening a couple more boxes that were filled with brightly colored sweaters, hair bows, and books on how to maintain a head full of bouncy hair she was left with three presents that had her name on them. One from Helen, another from aunt Amy, and the last one from Jake who was caught scratching Quinn's name off of his gift tag and replacing it with Daria's. The big day that she had been waiting for all this time was destroyed! There weren't any more reasons to even stay in the same room with everyone. So she went in her room and went to bed.)

(A last rotten memory surfaced. The week had been long and tiresome for the Morgendorffer family but they finally did it. They moved out of Highland and were now staying in Lawndale. Daria was in her room watching television when she heard a group of teenage boys fighting outside of her window. She looked out of the window to see what all the chaos was about. A group of boys were fighting over who was going to take Quinn out on a date. Other boys were cheering and girls were laughing. Their fun was quickly ceased when one of Quinn's friends noticed Daria peering out of the window. She quickly made Quinn aware of it causing her turn around. She looks up at Daria and waves her hand telling her to move away from the window. The group of boys notices the problem and starts throwing rocks at her window startling Daria and making her move away from the window before it broke. Everyone began to laugh until a very angry Jake runs out of the house yelling at them and the boys run off. Another girl walks up to Quinn and asks her something - probably if that is her sister. Quinn shakes her head in denial. Daria looks out of the window again and is emotionally hurt from what just happened.)

(Quickly, Daria snaps out of her deep concentration and falls back on her bed. Without saying a word streams of tears run down her face. The last words of the song that we hear are "It makes you feel unpretty". The last word echoes.)

(Angry with Helen, Quinn was determined to make it to the meeting no matter what it takes but how she would do it was undetermined. She walked back and forth across her room thinking of a plan. All of her a sudden her phone rang. She walks over to her bed, picks up the phone, and answers it with an irritated tone of voice.)

Quinn: Hello? Hello Jeffy … yes this IS a bad time to call … Uh huh. No I didn't tell Joey… (Quinn's phone beeps.) hold on. (Switches phone lines.) Hello?

Sandi: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello Quinn? I just wanted to know if you're still going to make it to our meeting?

Quinn: (Laughs and also fakes her cheerfulness.) Of course I am Sandi. (Gets an idea.) I was just getting Jeffy to take me.

Sandi: Oh...Very well then I expect to see you at 7:00 on the dot.

Quinn: I'll be there at 7 if not sooner. Bye (Switches lines back to Jeffy. As sweet as she can, she asks.) Hello? Jeffy? Can you do me a favor?

(Helen is at the table reading a magazine. A couple of footsteps are heard coming down the stairs and Daria walks into the kitchen and goes to the refrigerator. Helen looks at Daria and can tell by her face that she'd pissed. Calmly she tries to talk to her oldest child.)

Helen: Sweetie, any thing wrong?

(Daria doesn't answer and walks out of the kitchen.)

Helen: ...Honey if there's anything you want to talk about (The front door slams.) Let me know. (Helen lets out a sorrowful sigh and continues to read her magazine but her concentration wasn't the same. She knew that what she said earlier was wrong and had no business talking badly about her daughter or anyone else for that matter. She got up from the table and goes into the living room to watch T.V. Maybe they had a special on about the Do's and Don'ts of parenting.)

(Quinn's was upstairs looking out of her window impatiently waiting for Jeffy. Finally, she see his car go down the street and stop in front of a house that was 3 houses away from hers. Quinn runs over to her lamp and turns her light off, back to the window she carefully climbs down a rope made of bed sheets that she made earlier.)

(Daria walked down the street on her way to Jane's house feeling horrible. Memories of her childhood & parts of the conversation between Quinn and Helen were flowing through her mind. She tried her best to clear her head of these thoughts but they weren't going anywhere. The remembered voices of her mother, Quinn, and the laughing children grew louder & louder until she couldn't stand it any more. She ran down the street as if someone was chasing her and stops in front of the Lane's residence. She took a deep breath and calmly walked up to the front door. As she knocked on the door, the voices slowly started to fade away until within minutes they were gone. Daria heard someone in the house stumbling towards the door. Trent answers the door rubbing his eyes.)

Trent: Hey Daria.

Daria: Hey, Is Jane home?

Trent: (Shrugs shoulders.) Maybe, I just woke up.

Daria: Mind if I go check upstairs?

Trent: (Moves to let her past.) Go ahead.

(Daria walked upstairs to Jane's room and knocked on the door but no one answered. Thinking that she was also asleep, Daria opened the door to only find out that Jane wasn't there. She didn't notice that Trent had walked in and closed the door half way behind him. Disappointed, Daria turns around and bumps into Trent. Startled, she backs up and almost falls into a pile of clothes but he catches her by the shoulders.)

Trent: (Looks at her.) Are you all right?

Daria: (Nods.) Yeah. Sorry about that.

Trent: It's cool. You needed Janey for some thing?

(Jane walks into the house tired and sweaty from a late-night jog and hears someone talking in her room. She knew that she didn't leave the television on and she didn't listen to the radio at all before she left. So someone was in her room and Jane wanted to know who. She takes off her Running shoes and walks slowly up the stairs trying not to make any noise. She walks down the hall, leans on her door and looks through the opening only to find Daria & Trent holding a conversation. Jane tries her best not to distract them and listens to their conversation.)

Daria: Yeah, just needed to talk to her about something.

(Trent realizes that he has his hands still on her shoulders and he quickly drops them & scratches his head.)

Trent: Oh… Uh would you like to talk to me about it?

Daria: No… I don't think I should.

Trent: Well if you change your mind let me know.

Daria: Thanks.

(Deep into the conversation, Jane forgets that she was leaning on the door and loses her balance. She falls into the room and looks up at Daria & Trent who are both staring at her.)

Trent: I think I should get going (Walks off.)

(Jane watches him go and turns around to Daria who is still staring at her.)

Jane: I guess curiosity killed the cat huh ?

Daria: So I say that would narrow you down to 6 lives now, right?

(Jane gets up & walks over to her bed. Daria goes over to the recliner.)

Jane: So what's up. What did you want to tell me?

(At the Griffin residence: Sandi was furious when she saw Quinn walking up to the front door. Her plans of kicking her out of the Fashion Club were crushed. Quinn turns around and yells at Jeffy.)

Quinn: PICK ME UP AT 9:00 O.K !

(Jeffy honks his horn and drives away. Sandi suspected that something wasn't right. The meetings were usually over by 10:00, so why did Quinn want to get picked up so early? She let Quinn inside and immediately began to ask questions.)

Sandi: Quinn what's the deal about being picked up so early?

Quinn: Oh nothing Sandi, I just have like something really important to do at 9:00 that's all. (Laughs nervously.)

Sandi: Like what?

Quinn: (Stunned.) Oh you know… Shower… grooming… just the usual.

Sandi :(Folds arms.) And why so early?

Quinn: Well you know what they say Sandi, Early to bed and early to rise keeps me young and beautiful. (Looks at Sandi and walks into the living room.) Or maybe you don't.

(Sandi was shocked when she heard Quinn's comment and quickly goes to the bathroom to check her face. The meeting was just getting started after Sandi came out of the bathroom an hour later. At 8:00 they went over the plans for escaping the picnic on Saturday. They decided on how they we're going to get to Cashmans.)

Sandi: So it's settled, Saturday during the Picnic we'll sneak away and go to Cashmans and spend the rest of the day there. Any more ideas?

Stacy: (Stacy raises her hand.) How about if we escape through the Library?

(Sandi, Quinn, & Tiffany looked at Stacy as if their was something behind her. Then they started to giggle which was followed by a burst of laughter from all three of the girls. Stacy hung her head in shame while until they finished laughing.)

Quinn: (Stops laughing.) God Stacy, that was the most dumbest idea that I heard all night.

Sandi: (Looks at Stacy.) Stacy, no one cares about your pointless ideas. Your job is to write down everything that goes on during each meeting. If I want your input on something then I'll ask for it!

Stacy: Sorry Sandi… I just thought....

Sandi: You thought that your idea was a good one? I'm sorry to inform you but it wasn't. Now shut up and takes notes!

Stacy: O.k (Goes back to her notes.)

Sandi: (Looks at the rest of the club.) Now, As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. We will be going to the Junior 5 department to buy the new

Quinn: (Looks at her watch.) Um… Sandi, It's getting kind of late. I think that we should just quit the meeting until tomorrow.

Sandi: (Turns her head towards Quinn.) Uh… Quinn. Let me remind you that you aren't the President of the Fashion club. So therefore you don't have any rights to tell me when I should adjourn a meeting or not!

Quinn: I'm not trying to tell you to shut up Sandi. It's just that I'm sorta grounded and I'm not really supposed to be out of the house. I kinda snuck out.

Sandi: (Finally finds out why she had to leave so early and she smirks.) OH!… So if you got caught, you would be in more trouble then what you are in now.

Quinn: I knew that you would understand.

Sandi: Very well… meeting adjourned.

Quinn: (Quinn gets up and runs out of the room.) Thank you Sandi.

Sandi: (Walks to the front door & gives off an evil smirk but Quinn doesn't see it.) What are friends for.

(Quinn opens the front door and there to find Joey, Jeffy, & Jamie waiting for her in three different cars honking their horns and asking Quinn to get in one of them. Not having any time, Quinn decides to run to the nearby bus station and catch a bus home. Sandi was standing at the front door watching the whole thing. Then she got an idea, she walked back to the living room picks up the phone off of the coffee table and dials the Morgendorffers Residence.)

(It was a very frustrating day for Helen. She gets into an argument with her youngest daughter and her oldest daughter wasn't speaking to her. Some how she found some time to settle down and finish looking over the bills. Tonight was the big basketball game, The Chicago Bulls -vs.- The Seattle Sonics and Jake was in the living room jumping around and screaming as if he was actually there.)

Announcer: He shoots… HE SCORES!

Jake: GO BULLS! GO!

Helen: (Sighs and turns towards Jake.) Jake, I swear if you spent more time with the girls than you do watching that damn game. Our lives as parents would be a lot better.

Jake: (Not paying attention) What honey? Swear at the girls more and watch the damn game I'll consider it.

Helen: (Sighs) Why do I even try.

(Phone rings and Helen answers it.)

Helen: Hello?

Sandi: Uh hello? Mrs. Morgendorffer? This is Sandi Griffin.

Helen: Hello Sandi. What can I do for you?

Sandi: I was wondering if Quinn was around? We were having a meeting tonight and she never showed up.

Helen: I'm sorry to hear that Sandi. But Quinn's grounded for awhile she broke her curfew but I'll be happy to let you speak to her. Just a minute…

Helen: (Yells out) QUINN… QUINN TELEPHONE!... ( Talks back on the phone with Sandi.) I'm sorry I guess she's not answering the phone right now.

Sandi: Well when you see her please tell her to call me?

Helen: Sure thing sweetie. Bye. (Hangs up.)

Sandi: (Hangs up.) This should be good. (Laughs.)

Tiffany: Yeah, serves you right trying to control you.

Stacy: (Looking worried.) I don't think that you should have done that Sandi … I mean that really wasn't very nice.

Sandi: (Raises her voice.) WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?

Stacy: (Looks down.) Sorry Sandi

Sandi: (Puts her hand on her head.) I've had enough of your little outburst! (Points to the door.) Go home

Stacy: But Sandi … I was just saying…

Sandi: Now Stacy!

Stacy: (Gets up & walks out) Yes, Sandi.

Sandi: Bitch.

(Helen thinks about what Sandi said and decides to go inform Quinn of her call.)

Helen: What a sweet girl. (Gets up and goes upstairs.) I better go check on Quinn

(Helen walks up to Quinn's room, and she doesn't hear any noise so she expects Quinn to be asleep but to be polite she knocks on the door anyway.)

Helen: (Knocks on door.) Quinn? (Knocks again.) Quinn? (Opens door & turns the light on.) Quinn honey, I know that your mad at me but Sandi called and told me to tell you to…

(She notices that the window is open with a blanket rope hanging out of it. Then she notices the rope begins to move as Quinn climbs up. As one of her arms flings over the window seal, she pulls herself up & raises her head only to be greeted by a very angry Helen. Quinn eyes begin to widen as Helen's eyes begin to narrow.)

-Commercial Break-

Act III

(It was 10:00 at night at the Lane residence & Daria had feel asleep on the recliner while Jane was laying in the bed snoring. The telephone rings startling Daria and left Jane undisturbed. She looks for the phone and answers it only to find Tom on the other end of the line.)

Daria: Hello?

Tom: Hey, is Jane there?

(Daria glares at Jane and suddenly gets an idea. She grins and walks over to the bed)

Daria: Hang on just a sec. (Leans phone over by Jane.)

Jane: (Snores loudly and begins to mumble.) Put the bunny in the bunny hole mommy.

Daria: (Pulls the phone away.) She's a bit busy right now.

Tom: (Laughs.) Well I don't want to want to bother her and her bunnies right now. See Ya.

Daria: Hold on Tom. Will you do me a favor? We're having a Picnic at the Lawndale High School front yard Saturday. Jane would love it if you showed up.

Tom: Uh huh sure… O.K. I'll show up.

Daria: Don't tell Jane that we had this conversation

Tom: All right. Bye (Hangs up.)

(Daria hangs up and looks at Jane smiling.)

Daria: (V.O. TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME.)

Daria: (She looks at her watch.) I need to get going. (She gets up and walks down stairs. She walks towards a light switch and prepares to turn it off but then she thinks that Trent hasn't came home yet, so she leaves it on. Daria walks to the front door and gets ready to leave.)

(Around 10:35 Daria walks into the house and Jake & Helen are in the kitchen.)

Helen: (Yells.) Daria, is that you ?

Daria: (Responses in an annoyed tone.) Yes its me your "humble" daughter. I'm going to my room now so can continue talking about me behind my back.

Helen: (Walks into the living room.) Daria I know that you're upset at Quinn & I but…

Daria: (Shakes her index finger from side to side.) Oh no I'm not upset at Quinn, In fact I expected it from her, It's you who I'm mad at. My own DAMN mother . The only one in this whole damn world I wouldn't expect to say anything nasty about me. Guess I was wrong, huh?

Helen: (Shakes her head.) I'm not perfect no one is

Daria: No kidding. (Walks over to the stairs.) Look, let me go upstairs and calm down. I always do, right? (Goes up stairs.)

(Helen watches her go, and at the wrong time, Jake walks into the living room with a bottle of Cayenne Pepper.)

Jake: Honey do you think this will make the Chili any better?

(Helen turns around, slaps the bottle out of his hand, and walks out of the room leaving Jake in shock.)

(It's Saturday evening and almost every one's at the picnic. (Will Smith's "Welcome to Miami" is playing in the back ground.) Some of the students are dancing and the others are talking to others. ( Ms. Li is talking to Ms. Manson. Ms.Barch & Mr. O'Neill are making out under a tree while Upchuck is above them watching the whole event. Mr.DeMartino is at the barbecue grill preparing hamburgers and hot dogs. The Fashion club is standing under a tree discussing their escape plans.)

Sandi: So here's the plan, each one of us will pretend as if we need to go to the rest room. Then one at a time we will go into the school, meet at the emergency exit by the cafeteria, and leave from there agreed?

(Everyone else nods their heads.)

Stacy: You're so smart Sandi.

Tiffany: Yeah

Sandi: I know.

(Around that the time, Daria and Jane were walking up to the school discussing their escape plans.)

Daria: So it's settled during the picnic we head for the library, walk out of the back door, & run down the street to the bus stop. By the time we get there the 6:15 should be on it's way.

Jane: (Looks at Daria.) What happens if it doesn't get there on time?

Daria: Keep running. So did you get any cash from your mom?

Jane: (Nods.) Yeah, this morning but it wasn't easy.

(Jane flash backs to earlier that morning, she walked into the kitchen and spotted her mother making coffee.)

Jane: (Walks up to her.) Mom, can I borrow some cash?

(Amanda turns around and looks at Jane with a confused look on her face.)

Jane: You know Cash, Dough, Dinero, Bucks, Money?

Amanda: (Smiles.) Oh Jane, I didn't know what you know what you meant. Words have changed since I was your age but I supposed that they have changed for the best. (She begins to ramble off.)

Jane: (Rolls her eyes, turns around, & walks off.) O.K. in your purse by the kiln? Thanks.

Amanda: My little girl is growing up (Smiles, then the telephone rings. She answers it.) Hello?... Wind?… shh! Shh! Honey I'm sure that you'll find someone else.

(She removes the phone from her ear just before Wind started to cry louder.)

Daria: (Looks at Jane.) So it doesn't take your mom that long to start remembering her teenage years and ruin yours.

Jane: (Shakes her head.) It never does. So what happened at the Morgendorffer nut house?

Daria: As soon as I got home last night my mom came into the living room and tried to talked to me. I told her that I would rather go upstairs and calm down. Later we sat in the kitchen, talked it over, and I hit her up for $30.

Jane: Everything's back to normal.

Daria: If that's what you want to call it.

(Tom's car drives past and Jane's eyes widen. Daria looks at her and smiles.)

Jane: Was that who I think it was.

Daria: ...Maybe

(Once the car parks two guys emerge.)

Jane: (Points at the car.) Isn't that Trent?

(Daria's eyes widen.)

(Kevin & Brittany are at the mall. Brittany is trying on outfits and Kevin is looking bored. Brittany comes out of the dressing room wearing a red sweater.)

Brittany: How about this outfit?

Kevin: (V.O Hell I Have a 50-50 shot at this.) uh.…

Brittany: Why do you have to think about it huh?! I don't look right in this is that what you're saying?

Kevin: No that's what I'm saying.

Brittany: THEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

Kevin: (Looks around uneasy and his voice begins to crack.) Oh look boxers. (Walks off.)

Brittany: (Puts her hands on her hips.) Jerk

(Back at Lawndale High, Sandi, Quinn, & Tiffany are at the emergency exit waiting for Stacy. Stacy is seen running down the hall. She finally make it to them and trips. Quinn helps her up & Sandi opens the door. The *Alarm goes off* Tiffany and Stacy Run in separate ways but Sandi & Quinn are to too scared to move. Ms. Li comes walking down the hall with a security guard.)

Ms.Li: And where do you think you two were going?

(Sandi & Quinn begin speaking but their words are stumbling together.)

Ms.Li: (Shakes her head.) I knew that some one would try and leave so I turned the alarms on all the doors except the front door and the Library only because the alarm doesn't work.

(Sandi & Quinn both have the same stupid expressions on there face realizing the Stacy's idea was a good one.)

Ms. Li: (Points at Sandi & Quinn then to the direction of her office.) To my office you two… NOW! We are going to call your parents.

(Daria & Jane noticed that Tom and Trent are looking for them. If they went to the picnic, then their plans would have been ruined but if they left now they would get to Jane's house on time with plenty of time to goof off.)

Daria: I say that we leave now.

Jane: (Nods.) uh huh.

(They turn around and walk to the Library then they start to run.)

(Brittany wanders through Cashmans while holding a couple of bags. looking for Kevin. She asks people if they've seen them put they only shake their heads. Brittany grows tired and hungry then she thinks that she sees him by the jewelry department talking to a red head. She hides behind a near by booth and listens in on the conversation.)

Red head: (Puts her hand on his chest.) Oh you're so strong and handsome.

Kevin: (Laughs.) Well my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me.

Red Head: I would

Kevin: (Smiles) Hey! Hey!

(Brittany hops up to her feet and yells.)

Brittany: KEVIN!

Kevin: (Runs off. ) uh oh

(Brittany drops her bags and chases him through the mall. She leaps ,tackles him to the floor, and beats the crap out of him. After she finishes she gets up and goes to find that Red head. Kevin tries to get up but a group of 7 year olds run up to him and start kicking him.)

Intercom: Clean up in isle 9: Children's Wear. Clean up in isle 9.

(Daria & Jane got at the bus stop at 6:12 and at Jane's house at 6:30. They order the Pizza at 7:00 and were in front of the television by 7:30. Daria turns on the T.V. and they watch the making of the Sick Sad World Live episode. Then the magic begins.)

T.V Announcer: When sweet old ladies start getting evil, when Barney starts molesting kids, and when Dr. Seuss starts giving the Cat in the Hat a bad reputation. All this and more on SICK SAD WORLD *LIVE*!

Jane: (Smiles.) This should be good .

Daria: I wonder if Tom & Trent figured out that we were there?

(The picnic was over earlier than scheduled and all of the students and staff left while Ms. Li was in her office. Trent & Tom were the only ones there and were looking for Daria & Jane.)

Tom: (Yells.) Daria…? Jane…? Trent have you found them yet? Trent… Trent ?

(Tom looks behind them and sees Trent laying under a tree asleep and snoring loudly.)

Tom: (Yells.) DAMN!

*Roll Credits*

I would like to thank all the people who responded to the message that I posted on the message board concerning this fan fic. Thank you very much I really appreciated it.

I would especially like to thank Diane Long for helping me through the creation of this story. Her encouragement, advice, & constant editing helped me to create an even better story. It was a long procedure but I believe that it well worth it.

Thank you very much : )

Daria was not created by me but by Glenn Eichler & Susie Lynn Lewis and is property of MTV. Feel free to distribute this Fanfiction to other people but do not edit any of the original context or distribute it for a price.

Thank you

Diana Morgan

Comments are highly accepted! Got any? Then please e-mail me at Mclemcan1@aol.com