Daria: "She Was All That" by John Berry [berry@adelphia.net] proofed by Austin Covello "Daria" & characters ©1999-2001 MTV... why do disclaimers have to be long? Suggested reading: "A Day in the Life of Stacy" by Austin Covello ACT I [Int. Barch's study hall. Day.] [The Fashion Club is gathered around a corner in the room. Stacy takes notes.] SANDI: So then it's agreed. We'll do... that... thing... that we just agreed on-- Stacy, what'd we just agree on? STACY: Uhh, [looks at her notes, tsking as she skims through] We're gonna open up a suggestion box so people not as fashionable feel that they have an opinion in the matter. QUINN: How are we gonna read all of those? I'm sure that there are many that think their fashion senses are better than our own-- which, of course is totally absurd. SANDI: Quinn, Quinn, Quinn. We're not going to actually read them. It's just so people lesser than ourselves become more accepting to our nature by... [pauses before snapping her fingers rapidly at Stacy] STACY: [Quickly reading] By letting them think they've influenced us. QUINN: I still think it should go the other way around. We can hand out official Fashion Club suggestions to all students and faculty of the school. They'll thank us for that. SANDI: As sure as you may be, Quinn, I'm afraid that I'm even more sure that people wish to state opinion rather than receive it. QUINN: That's exactly my point, Sandi. *You* may hate to get critique, but you'll be able to give your own to the school! Besides, we're already pretty much worshipped around here, so why bother gaining any more trust from the losers? They're always so stubborn, anyway. SANDI: I say we should put this to a vote. QUINN: Yes. Let's do this. SANDI: So, Tiffany, whose idea do you prefer? Mine? QUINN: Or mine? TIFFANY: Uhhh... [Tiffany looks to each of them back and forth a few times; she can't agree with one while the other's around!] TIFFANY: Uh... Iiiii thiiiiinnnk weeeeeee shoulllllld... Bye! [suddenly gets up and runs out] [A male extra (Corey, I suppose... why not?) gets up.] COREY: Wow! I didn't know we could do that! [runs to the door] [Ms. Barch thrusts a yard stick in front of the doorway, cutting Corey off.] BARCH: So... male... you wish to escape, do you? Run away, not wishing to take any responsibility that society has rightfully given you, huh? COREY: Do you expect me to cower? BARCH: No, Mr. Corey... I expect you to DIE! [The camera focuses away from them and back to what remains of the Fashion Club. Several whacks of a yard stick and screams are heard through the background while the girls talk.] SANDI: Stacy? STACY: Uh, I humbly request twenty-four hours to consider both sides. SANDI: [Sighs] Very well. I *did* wish to get this settled sooner. QUINN: See what happens when we do it your way? SANDI: [Glaring] Can we settle this sooner in a meeting tonight, Stacy? STACY: Um... I'm... busy tonight. QUINN: With what? STACY: [Quickly] Just-busy. [Est. Multiplex. Evening.] [Int. Multiplex lobby.] [Stacy comes up to the ticket counter, wearing a trenchcoat and holding the collar up as if to conceal her identity.] STACY: One for "Dudley Do-Right." [The vendor turns out to be the same one that sold tickets to the baseball stadium back in my first fic, "Bond, Jake's Bond."] VENDOR: Sure. That's an alright movie. Thought the cartoon was pretty good despite the animation. Grew up on that show. Thought the Bullwinkle show was better, though. Sure could go on a while about that. STACY: [Honestly] I'd love to hear more about that, but I'm meeting someone. VENDOR: ...Jay Ward, he was the guy who developed-- STACY: Okay! One, *please*. VENDOR: Here ya go. [Int. theater room.] [Stacy makes her way through the darkness to find a seat. As her eyes adjust to the light, she takes a look around for the familiar face she was to meet. She then spots Ted a couple of rows in front of her, munching on popcorn. She ducks down under the seat (out of sight) in an effort to sneak next to him. Her sounds of scuffling are all that can indicate that she's still in the room.] TED: [Still looking at the screen, with his mouth full of popcorn] Hey, previews! Talkies sure have gotten developed since the stuff Dad showed me! STACY: [O.S.] Ew! I stuck my hand in some gum! TED: [Immediately ducking out of view towards the voice] Gum?! STACY: [O.S.] No, it's garbage. Pre-chewed stuff. TED: [O.S.] Oh... What are you doing down there? STACY: [O.S.] Oh, I, well, uh, sneaking. TED: [O.S.] What? STACY: [O.S.] Could you just please help me up? TED: [O.S.] Oh, sorry. Here. [They both get up and settle into their seats. Stacy takes her jacket off.] STACY: [Indicating popcorn] How can you eat that stuff? TED: It tastes good. STACY: Yeah, but it's fattening and greasy and messy and half of it isn't even organic. TED: Yeah... but it tastes good. [Stacy smiles and shakes her head, as if Ted is the one who doesn't "get it."] TED: [Pointing at the screen] Ha ha ha! He hit is head! Slapstick! JAMIE: [Who is sitting in the row ahead] Well, duh! TED: ...Duh? JAMIE: Well, *duh*, I said "duh." Jeez. TED: [Still confused] ...Duh?... [Int. Multiplex lobby. After the movie.] [A small crowd exits along with the pair.] TED: Duh? STACY: What? TED: What is this "duh"? STACY: You really don't know? TED: Well, duh. STACY: [Smiles] Heh. Funny. I'll see you later, Ted. [Stacy exits as Ted still stands there in his own world.] TED: Well, duh... Well, duh... They usually say it with "well" in front of it, indicating that "duh" must be something they're telling me to do? A verb? Am I getting this right, Stacy? [Looks around] Stacy? STACY: [V.O.] Ted has this sort of naive innocence around him despite his intelligence. [Int. Stacy's room. Night.] [The voice-over continues as Stacy writes in her diary.] STACY: [V.O.] I guess that's sort of why I like him... and to some extent, relate to him. We're both good fans of science-fiction, but we went to see a comedy today instead. It seems like I've been needing a good laugh more and more lately... [Frowns] I must be the biggest idiot and coward combined. Everyday I promise myself that I'll stand up to Sandi, or that I'll finally do something worthwhile... I never do... I haven't even gone so far as to tell Ted how I feel about him. He probably hasn't even realized that we've been going out this past year; it's just all fun to him. If I don't stand up, he'll never find out; nobody will find out who I am unless I act immediately, because for all I know a car crash could lead to my untimely death leaving everyone confused as to what my identity was!... [Pauses, gives a "Where did *that* come from?" look, and scribbles the last part out] Well, I'd better head to bed. Another school day awaits me. [Closes her diary and gets up] [Int. DeWitt-Clinton dining room.] [*Everyone* in Lawndale has lasagna for dinner! This family just grows and makes their own ingredients.] TED: ...Duh... GRANT: What? TED: That word! What does it mean? GRANT: What word? TED: "Duh!" LESLIE: I most certainly never heard of it. GRANT: Nor I. Where did you hear this... "duh"? TED: Just today, I heard it coming back from the moooo- school. LESLIE: Well, help yourself to the reference books. That's what they're there for. TED: I have! It's not in the English one, Latin, Asian books, and it's not even Esperanto! It must be some form of a vernacular term. GRANT: Yes. LESLIE: We don't wish to stay in the way of expanding your vocabulary... And to prevent your further confusion, I suppose we must allow you to look up... The Book of Slang. [Dramatic chord!] TED: B-but, is that not forbidden?! GRANT: Yes, to some extent. But this is for reference only, you understand? TED: Yes, sir. [Int. DeWitt-Clinton living room.] [Ted has already taken The Forbidden Book from its shelf and sits on the Georgia pine couch. Opening the cover, the title page reveals that the book hasn't been to press since 1879. He flips through a few pages.] TED: ...It isn't here... [Temptation to look up different slang terms comes up] ...Um... Oh, just a peek... [A few more pages] ... Hehehe, "addle- pate... mooncalf... merry-andrew"... hehehe. "Ninnyhammer!" Oh, these are rich! [Est. Lawndale High. Next day.] [Int. Lawndale High hallway.] [The Fashion Club idles by the drinking fountain.] SANDI: So, Stacy, have you reached a tie-breaking verdict? STACY: Huh? SANDI: The vote, Stacy. The vote. From yesterday? STACY: [Mumbling] Oh crap. Forgot. [Aloud] Uh, what was Tiffany's argument? SANDI: What's that matter? TIFFANY: Uh, yeah. STACY: Well... [Think fast!] Her rank as treasurer and coordinator is higher and much more important than mine as secretary. Surely her opinion carries more weight than mine? TIFFANY: Weight? Are you saying I'm-- SANDI: Yes, Stacy, you *do* have a point. TIFFANY: So I *am*? SANDI: Tiffany, what *do* you think? TIFFANY: Uh... think?... Uh... ... Think?... [Another part of the hallway.] [Ted walks up to Mack.] TED: Excuse me. Do you know what "duh" means? MACK: Are you kidding? TED: [Walks away] Why does everyone keep asking that? [Ted walks around passing by several people going in the opposite direction.] TED: [To Kevin] Excuse me. [To Andrea] "Duh." Do you know what- [To Daria] Do you-- DARIA: No, I have no gum. TED: [Stops walking as Daria goes by] Why am I typecast so? [Jodie comes by] Jodie, can you-- JODIE: No. Late. Rushing. Talk during yearbook. TED: I just want a word defined for me! JODIE: O'Neill. English teacher. Ask him. Bye. [Gone] TED: Oh, the English teacher! Duh! [Stands confused at himself for a second then heads off to O'Neill's room] [Back to the FC.] TIFFANY: ...Uh... SANDI: We don't have all dayyyy! TIFFANY: ...Think?... SANDI: Forget it! QUINN: C'mon, let's get to class. [Tiffany is left behind.] TIFFANY: ......Think?... Um, could... could you define "think"?.... Uh... Where'd they...?... [Bell rings] ...Think?... [Int. O'Neill's classroom.] [Sophomore students are flowing in as O'Neill and Ted speak.] O'NEILL: Frankly, I'm just as stumped as you are. TED: Oh, no... O'NEILL: I have heard it used in class several times before... Most say it with a hint of sarcasm, but Kevin seems to mean it whenever he-- TED: Never mind. I hafta get to class now. [Distraught Ted passes by a contemplating Stacy, neither of them paying too much to their surroundings.] TED: Hi, Stacy. STACY: Hi, Ted. QUINN: The-wha? SANDI: You know that weirdo? STACY: [Snaps back to reality] What? Who?... Dah! No! Of course not! Heh. SANDI: [Is she convinced?] Mm-hmm. [Int. Lawndale High hallway.] [Ted walks up to Tiffany.] TED: Hi. TIFFANY: Uh... TED: Do you know what "duh" means? TIFFANY: Think?... TED: What? TIFFANY: Uh... TED: Never mind. [Leaves] TIFFANY: ...Think?... [(When running gags cross paths, people.)] [Int. Defoe's junior class.] [Daria and Jane stand at their respective easels. Pause.] JANE: You ever get the feeling that your presence in this universe was merely being glossed over? DARIA: Constantly. [Another pause.] [Int. O'Neill's sophomore class.] O'NEILL: ...Now the use of grammar in any form of writing are very important ...Wait... [Stacy writes in her notebook.] STACY: [V.O.] Mr. O'Neill always said to write as soon as you get inspiration, for any wait could affect it. As... unique a teacher he is, he still comes up with a couple of good ideas. I hope to take this a step further and publish my own work someday... even if it only ends up published on the Internet. Ick... My inspiration today? Distress. I almost slipped up about my relationship with Ted. Such a thing could shake my membership of the Fashion Club, my "popularity" with it. And my feelings have only gotten worse since the entire club ended up in the same classroom with me; Sandi got held back in English, seemingly on purpose so she could keep a watchful eye on all of us at the same time. How I would like to-- QUINN: What're you writing? STACY: What? Oh... Nothing, really. Just making it seem like I'm paying attention. QUINN: Oh. Good idea. [Takes out her own notebook] STACY: Phew. SANDI: Where the hell is Tiffany? [Bell rings.] O'NEILL: Oh. Class dismissed. Wait, except you, Debbie. I'd like to go over some problems with your last fiction assignment. DEBBIE: Drag. [Int. Lawndale High hallway.] [Tiffany walks down the hall in a trance.] TIFFANY: Think... think... think... think... [bumps into a bend without turning] Ow... [turns the corner] Think... think... think... [Ted comes up the other direction in the same sort of trance.] TED: Duh... duh... duh... duh... [Stacy comes up, looking back to make sure the FC isn't behind her.] TED: Ah! Stacy! For the love of Atheism! What is this "duh"?! Define it for me! Explain it to me!! STACY: Duh: exclamation. To state that you or someone else should have known better. TED: [Suddenly sane, straightens up] Oh. Well that was-- AGH! STACY: What's wrong? [looks beside her to find Sandi, Quinn, and the J's there] AGH! SANDI: So you *do* know him! STACY: No! I've never even met Ted!... Oh *shoot*! SANDI: I don't believe that you'd lie to your best friends. How could you? STACY: [Her famous hyperventilation taking effect] Uh, I, I, I, uh... QUINN: She could still be telling the truth. I mean, when was the last time anyone's actually *seen* Stacy with a geek. SANDI: Now don't-- QUINN: [Ignores her, turns to the J's] I mean, you haven't. Right? JOEY: Of course not! JEFFY: You know I'd tell you anything! JAMIE: I've seen it! They were at the movies! QUINN: [To Sandi] There, you s- WHAT? JOEY & JEFFY: Jamie! JAMIE: That's my name!... What? [Stacy's breathing gets more hyper.] QUINN: Ohhh! I don't believe you! JAMIE: I was being honest like you wanted! What?! SANDI: [To Ted] Outta here! Shoo! TED: But- SANDI: Go! Be off to your circle of role-playing, acne-ridden friends! TED: Yee! [Leaves] [Stacy starts turning red at this point of hyperventilation.] SANDI: As for you, I don't believe that you'd go out with one of *their* kind... STACY: [Deeper red] Eep! SANDI: Backstab us... STACY: [Sweating bullets] Eep! SANDI: Then turn around and try to ignore and deny the entire-- [Stacy futiley gasps for air, then collapses.] SANDI: ...thing. [Blackness. The point of view opens up like an eyelid, revealing a blurry Sandi, Tiffany and Quinn hovering over.] TIFFANY: Thanks for letting me stop thinking, Sandi. [Int. Nurse's office.] [Stacy has been recovering on the couch while the FC stands around her.] STACY: [Weakly] ...Bad... dream... SANDI: It wasn't a dream. STACY: ...Aw... hell... SANDI: Now, Stacy, I'm not usually one to go this far... Heaven knows that I've been somewhat lax lately in my standards. [Glances Quinn's way] QUINN: Yeah, you-- Hey! SANDI: [Continuing] But this is just too much at once. You are aware of the accusations against you... Even at your low status in the Fashion Club, these are too large to ignore. So... Stacy Nibblett... STACY: Rowe. SANDI: Rowe? STACY: Rowe. TIFFANY: [Suddenly perking up] Your boat! [They all stare at her for a moment. She slowly slinks back.] SANDI: Stacy *Rowe*, your Cashman's charge card, please. [Stacy reaches into her purse on the floor and hands Sandi the card.] SANDI: Your complimentary hair clips. [Stacy takes them from her hair and gives those.] SANDI: And... [pulls out a pair of pliers] I'm going to have to take that nose job. STACY: [Panic] I had that changed back after what happened to Brooke! Remember? [Pause.] SANDI: [Mumbles] Too disgusting, anyway. [She tosses the pliers behind her. They bounce off Tiffany's head. She doesn't flinch.] SANDI: Stacy Rowe, whom I could've sworn was Nibblett... QUINN: It's not. Get over it. SANDI: ...You are hereby no longer a member of the Fashion Club! STACY: Eep! QUINN: What?! I thought we agreed on a sabbatical! SANDI: Sorry! Tough love required! And I'm the president; what're you gonna do about it? TIFFANY: Flaunt it at that new sale in the mall? SANDI: Now you're talking. Let's go before all the good stuff is taken. [Tiffany and Sandi leave, Quinn lingering behind a bit. Stacy stares into blank space in shock.] STACY: No... longer... [Int. Stacy's room. Evening.] [Stacy lies on her bed with the same clothes and expression.] STACY: ...a... member... How can I tell this to Mom?... Now where do I belong?... *Do* I belong anywhere?... [Stacy slides off her bed and walks to her desk to open up her diary. She writes.] STACY: [Aloud this time] ... Life... sucks... oranges... It's usually days like this that I like to look back on some happy memories... I'll talk to you later. [She sets down her pen and flips back through the pages.] STACY: Angst... no hope... more angst... [pauses] Weren't there *any* good memories this year? None?!... [Throws the book on the floor] DAMN IT! [Stacy folds her arms together in frustration. She rubs a tear off her cheek... She glances down, and, noticing something, kneels over. It's her diary.] STACY: March fifth... "Found out that the most popular girl in the sophomore class... is a brain. She's a weird kind of popular. She isn't quite as friendly as Jodie Landon, but she isn't quite as stuck up as Sandi or Quinn. She probably has the most exclusive clique in the whole town... I... hope that I can be in it someday..." [She wipes another tear away and looks up away from the book. The gears in her head start turning...] [Int. Lawndale High hallway. Next day.] [Daria and Jane at their lockers.] DARIA: ...Uh-oh. JANE: What? DARIA: I've got that feeling again. JANE: Um, try not to get it all over me this time. DARIA: I mean like something's gonna happen that'll weird us out for a while. JANE: The Gitchy Feelin'? DARIA: ...Yeah. [Stacy walks up in a leather jacket over a white shirt, with a red skirt and boots with her hair down.] STACY: Hi. Can I join you? [Daria and Jane glance at each other.] [Commercial bumper: Ted rushing through the group of students to get a word defined.] END ACT I *** ACT II [Int. Lawndale High hallway. Same time.] [Nothing has changed.] JANE: ...Join us? But aren't you from the Conformist Side of the Sarcasm? DARIA: What do you mean by "join us", anyway? STACY: [Meekly] Um... y'know... Your group! Your gang!... Your clique! JANE: [To Daria, chuckling] I hear right? DARIA: [To Stacy] Look, I already told Val, and now I'm telling you: I do not have my own clique. JANE: Sure ya do! You're the president... and I'm the almighty, god-like entity that lords over and severely outranks the president. DARIA: [Continuing] And what is this about, anyway? Is this some sort of plot devised by your Fashion Furbies? [Stacy, upon being reminded of her "friends," feels like she just got hit by a tremendous blow. She bows her head and slumps away.] STACY: [Quietly] Never mind. I'll just... [doesn't finish] JANE: [To Daria] You think she was for real? DARIA: [Slight concern] I'm not sure... But I don't think any Clubber could *fake* that sort of depression. JANE: Whereas you... Oh, never mind. It's too easy... [Ponders a moment] Well, c'mon. [Follows Stacy] DARIA: Where are you going? JANE: Whaddaya think? [Int. girls' bathroom.] [Stacy sits down, huddled up in a corner. Daria and Jane enter.] JANE: Um... hey. [No answer.] DARIA: Hey, um... we've been sorta discussing how you wanna hang out... with us. JANE: It was just the surprise of it that got to us. DARIA: Sure, if you wanna believe Jane. The... point is, I guess you can kinda stick around for a while until... something. STACY: [Perking up] Really? DARIA: Um... sure, why not? [Stacy gets to her feet in joy.] STACY: Oh thank you! I won't disappoint you! I'll take care of everything for you! We can hang out all the time. DARIA: Wait, I didn't say *all*-- STACY: This is great! Thank you so much! DARIA: [Pained] Uh... sure... no problem. JANE: [Same] Mmyeah. Just one question, though: Why are you dressed like that? STACY: Oh, I just threw on the worst outfit I could come up with. I thought it'd help me blend in with you better. [Stacy's outfit is all too familiar to Daria, though. She grimaces.] DARIA: [To herself] New record for quickness in regretting a decision. [School bell segue:] [Ext. Lawndale High.] [Daria and Jane exit among other students.] JANE: Your place or mine? DARIA: Yours. Y'know I'd never want to risk ever running into my sis- STACY: [Jumps in] Hi! DARIA: COUSIN! Oh, hi. STACY: Where are we going? JANE: *We* are off to my place. STACY: Great! [Int. Jane's room.] [The anti-clique enters.] STACY: Wow. Your house is amazing! I especially liked that sculpture on the front lawn. JANE: Don't compliment me, tell my mom. Well, you can tell her when-if she comes back from Canada. DARIA: Why Canada? JANE: Hell, everyone loves Canada. Why do ya need a reason? STACY: So now what do we do? Discuss the latest outcast trends? Give each other unfashionable tips? JANE: Eh, noooooo. DARIA: We hang out. STACY: ...And? DARIA: And... we... hang out. JANE: And stuff. DARIA: Yeah, and stuff. JANE: Can't forget the stuff. STACY: What stuff? JANE: Y'know... stuff. DARIA: Like... read, watch TV, write... JANE: Paint, and paint, and paint, and... sculpt, and paint. DARIA: But mostly it's watching TV. JANE: Yeah. [Cut to later. They're watching TV, Daria and Stacy on the bed and Jane sitting Indian-style on the floor.] SSW ANNOUNCER: Next, hermaphroditic incestual bestiality! STACY: Eww! DARIA: Uh-huh. [Trent enters.] TRENT: Janey... Oh, hey, Dariet. DARIA: Howdy-ho, Trenteo. TRENT: [Addresses Stacy] Hi... um... you. JANE: Stacy. TRENT: Stacy. Hey, Janey, we got any coffee left? JANE: Yeah, but the water isn't running again, so you'll hafta eat it out of the package. TRENT: Nah, didn't like it that way too much the other time. Think I kept a jug of water somewhere in the `fridge. Anyway, any of you want any? JANE: Water? TRENT: Coffee. JANE: Sure. DARIA: Yeah. STACY: Um... okay. [Int. Lane kitchen.] [The four at the table with a mug for each. Stacy is on a severe caffeine high.] STACY: So even though Sandi and I have known each other since I dunno sixth or seventh grade or whenever I don't quite remember but that's not important so anyway she knows me for a long time and that's how I managed to get into the Fashion Club in the first place but then she's suddenly all "I gotta set an example" or some stuff like that so now I'm outta there and it hurt. TRENT: Uh-huh. DARIA: You understood all that? TRENT: Nick has an espresso addiction. I get used to it. STACY: So I'm like I gotta join up with someone soon or I won't have anything to do or talk about and turns out well I'm with people but I'm still not doing anything and that's totally ironic but I manage to get passed that since you haven't told me to shut up yet so that must mean you really care about me. DARIA: Shut up. STACY: Ha ha good one let's go do something like go to a movie I'll pay. JANE: Do you think you could manage to sit down for ninety minutes? STACY: Sure no problem. TRENT: You guys go on. Coffee wears me out. I'm gonna go take a nap. [Ext. Multiplex.] [The girls enter.] STACY: Jane your brother's really weird not that that's bad he's cool and all but from what I hear he sure loves to sleep- JANE: Care to take a cue from him? [Int. theater room.] [They take their seats, Jane holding a tub of popcorn.] STACY: -I never got to know my brother or any of my siblings really they're all adults in the working world or college and I don't see them much but thanks to them I have so many expectations to live up to for my parents but they shouldn't be able to complain since now I'm in the most exclusive clique Lawndale has- DARIA: We're not a-- STACY: -But it's really weird since it's nothing like the Fashion Club you don't even plan meetings or assign positions or anything but I'm sure I could get used to it- [Jane's getting to the point of "make it stop!" She dumps the popcorn on the floor and puts the tub over her head in a desperate attempt to block out any noise.] DARIA: [Getting up] I gotta go to the bathroom. STACY: C'mon let's go together that coffee made me hafta pee ha ha I never said "pee" before while I was in the Fashion Club it's kinda fun let's go. JANE: [Muffled from the tub] Shut up! For God's sake, just shut up! [Ext. Multiplex.] [The three exit and stand outside.] DARIA: Why did we *all* get kicked out for talking during the movie? JANE: And they didn't even let me keep the hat!... I mean the popcorn thing. STACY: [The caffeine rush is over; meekly] I'm sorry. DARIA: [Attempting to hold her temper] Look... why are you even *acting* this way? STACY: What way? DARIA: Everything you've been doing has been, like, "What do you wanna do?" We don't do *anything* as a "group." We are not a clique. We are independent spirits. JANE: Unless I say so. DARIA: And-and, it's getting to the point where I just wanna ask *you*... What do *you* want to do? JANE: I wanna decide who lives and who dies. DARIA: Not *you*. Stacy, think for yourself for once! Be a jerk to us, if that's how you feel, cuz this getting buddy-buddy with us is killing me. STACY: I don't know... DARIA: You already said that you gave up your freedom of being to be popular ...Well, now that that's over with... [*] JANE: [Finishing] "As soon as you're born you start dying, so you'd might as well have a good time." STACY: Wow. I'll remember that... Where'd you hear that? JANE: Sheep Go To Heaven. STACY: Yeah, I-- Huh? JANE: Heh. Cake song. Y'see, I noticed this one track with Daria's name on it, and one thing led to-- Well, anyway, my point is... as it was Daria's... Just be yourself. Quit feeling like you have to fit in. DARIA: Don't even try to fit in with the outcasts. We're outcasts in the *first* place because we don't try to fit in with anyone else. STACY: Just... be myself? DARIA & JANE: Yes! STACY: ...Can you show me how? JANE: Aw, flibberty-jibbet! STACY: Well... there's usually one thing I always like to do... JANE: Now we're getting somewhere. STACY: Let's shop! JANE: Flibberty-jibbet times two! STACY: [Grabbing the others' hands] Let's go! [* You remember Stacy's brief-brief-very-brief heart-to-heart with Daria (or as close as it *can* get with Daria) in CE Forman's "Cut Above"... Doncha?] [Est. Lord of Hoard thrift shop.] [Int. Lord of Hoard.] [The girls wander.] JANE: Oh... phew. Man, you had me going. STACY: Ted helped me find some things for that Fashion Don'ts party here. DARIA: There's an ego boost. STACY: I wonder why half these things were given up by the original owners. DARIA: I think it's like that old saying goes: One man's trash... JANE: Is another man's garbage. [Reaching into a box] Hey, wigs. Cool. [Pulls it out; it turns out to be a furry boot] ...Cooler! DARIA: If we're really gonna stick around a while, I'm gonna roam. In case you can't tell, I'm not a people person. JANE: Right, there's a duh-ism. [Daria leaves as Jane pulls a shirt from a rack] Oh, Stase, you simply must try this. It's just so darling and oh-so-lovely. And darling. STACY: Really? JANE: No. Sucker. [Tosses it aside] Look... find what you want. *That's* what we're here for. STACY: I kinda... stink at thinking, don't I? JANE: No way at- yeah. But you can learn! STACY: I guess... JANE: C'mon! Be more enthusiastic! STACY: I guess!! JANE: That's it! Now go tackle those used clothes, tiger! STACY: Right! It's my wardrobe! I'll get whatever the hell I want! And I pick... that one! [Stacy grabs a sweatshirt from the rack, tugging at it. It won't come off. She takes another yank; it gets the shirt out, along with who was grabbing onto it from the other side.] STACY: Ted?! TED: Stacy?! JANE: Stacy? STACY: Jane, Ted. JANE: Ted. TED: Jane. STACY: Dar-... Oh, wait. She's not here. TED: What are you doing here? STACY: Jane? TED: You, Stacy. STACY: Stacy. JANE: Wait-wait. We're not doing that again. STACY: Sorry. [To Ted] Well... y'know how I got fired from the Fashion Club? TED: You got fired from the Fashion Club?! STACY: [Distraught] Yes! [Tries to recover] But... these nice people allowed me into their *own* clique. DARIA: [O.S.] We're not a clique! STACY: [Ignoring] I personally think it's more popular than the other club ...A lot nicer, too. [Reminiscing] But... still... JANE: Erm, you guys wanna talk about it alone? STACY: Um... TED: I think she would. JANE: [To Stacy] Do you really? STACY: ...Yes... I am sure about it. JANE: Good. I'll stick around here. High chance of finding a *load* for some three-dimensional collages. `Sides, this is where I do all my shopping anyhoo. STACY: Okay. I'll see you. [She and Ted leave... after Stacy pays for the shirt.] DARIA: [O.S.] Oh, look... [Jane does. Zip-pan to Daria, pointing at a rack filled completely with her current outfit.] DARIA: Here's *another* ego boost. [Ext. Lawndale streets.] [Stacy and Ted just walk, the former holding a shopping bag from the thrift store.] TED: So what's on your mind? STACY: I really don't know anymore... But the thing is, I didn't know before, either. TED: ...Didn't know or didn't care? STACY: ...I think... I did know *and* care... but made myself believe otherwise... It's really weird. All through the time I was in the Fashion Club, I wanted nothing more to maintain my status and share my opinion. Now that the first thing is gone, all I'm left with is the second. And I never *did* share my opinion... But now that I have the chance to... TED: Kept yourself bottled up too long? STACY: Yeah. I guess. On top of that, now that I am technically free... I still wonder if the club thinks of me... *how* they think of me... TED: Aw, c'mon. I wouldn't worry about their opinions. They're just a bunch of addle-pates, anyway. STACY: Mmm... They're what? [Int. Griffin living room.] [FC meeting, Sandi wrapping up. Tiffany's scribbling at a notepad.] SANDI: ...And that is why silver hoop earrings are so *over*... Especially considering how many of the losers in this town wear them. QUINN: You are so right. SANDI: I know. QUINN: Especially how you opened on the thesis. SANDI: Yes, that is my favorite part. Tiffany, would you mind reading that first part back to us? TIFFANY: [Looks up] What?... Ohh, I'm sorry. Were you saying something? SANDI: [Snatching away the pad] Gimme that! [Looks] ...This is a sketch of George Clooney! You weren't paying attention at all! TIFFANY: You like it? SANDI: I recognized who it was, didn't I?! TIFFANY: I could sign it if you like. SANDI: No! This isn't even your job! TIFFANY: I worked very hard on it. SANDI: I LIKE THE FREAKING PICTURE!! My POINT is that you were supposed to be taking notes! TIFFANY: Buuuut... youuuu... werrrre... talkiiiiing... tooooo... faaaassst. QUINN: [To Sandi] I knew she couldn't handle coordinating *and* being the secretary at the same time. SANDI: Oh, shut up! TIFFANY: [Still going on] I meeean iiit's nooot liiike I caaan keeeeep uuup wiiith ev-er-y-thiiing yooouuu sayyyyy... when I'm wriiitiiinggg... SANDI: And we stopped talking about you, Tiffany, about an hour ago! TIFFANY: ...Already? QUINN: [To Sandi] Look, we're both dissatisfied with her performance in this occupation. Why don't we, I dunno, hire someone else? TIFFANY: Yeah, we could use some new blood. SANDI: Because! We don't need a, a newbie filling up... Stacy's position... QUINN: ...You miss her, don't you? SANDI: No! It was *my* decision to kick her out! Why would I miss her?! QUINN: I was just-- SANDI: This Fashion Club meeting is *over*! TIFFANY: But-- SANDI: It's over! Dismissed! [The other two grudgingly leave, allowing Sandi to steam on the couch.] [Int. Lawndale High hallway. Next day.] [Daria turning the combination of her locker as Jane goes through hers.] DARIA: Barry right... Brittany left... Ms. Li right... JANE: What's that you're muttering? DARIA: Oh. I memorized my combination by the people on a one-to-fifty scale of whom I hate. JANE: Ah... Fifty being the most or least amount of hate? STACY: [O.S.] Hey, guys. [D&J turn from their lockers to see Stacy. She's dressed in the sweatshirt she bought with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of jeans, sneakers, and her hair braided back up.] JANE: Hey, what happened to the Daria duds? STACY: I just gotta be me! JANE: Impressive. DARIA: That's a good small step to self-fulfillment. STACY: Ted suggested the outfit. [Pause. Daria raises a hand to say something, then lets it drop.] STACY: I'm kidding. JANE: Boom! Heh, so much progress in so little time. DARIA: [Small hint of a smile] We tend to do that, don't we? STACY: So, given last time... Would you rather go without me after school? `Cause I was thinking pizza... JANE: Ehh... I think you've earned it this time. STACY: Cool. Later. [Leaves] [Pan to follow Stacy. She looks back to find the two out of sight.] STACY: [Quietly, but enthusiastically] Yes! Acceptance... [Est. Pizza King.] [Int. Pizza King.] [Stacy and Daria on one side of the table, Jane and Tom taking the other. They split a pie among themselves.] STACY: Wow. Cheese. Haven't had that on a pizza for a long while. TOM: Um, I see. What planet have you been getting your pizza from? DARIA: You don't know her, Tom. JANE: Not like us. DARIA: Gee, are you being ironic? JANE: Could be. DARIA: [To Stacy] Don't worry about that cheese. It's not like it's gonna hurt you. [Stacy takes a bite. The cheese stretches a bit before sliding off the piece entirely, slapping Stacy in the chin, burning her.] STACY: Agh! DARIA: Well... since I just ate those words I'd might as well eat another slice of pizza to get the taste out. [Stacy eats the cheese and napkins off her chin.] STACY: All this time I've been having pizza without the cheese. It tastes much better the other way around! They should just sell it this way. JANE: We've really gotta introduce this girl to cheese fries. STACY: What's that? TOM: It's strictly for folks who don't give a damn about their heart anymore. STACY: I need another piece. I could eat a hundred of `em. JANE: Ah, it's nothing. Daria and I have more than once eaten three pies between us. STACY: No, *that's* nothing. Back as a kid, I could eat three pies by myself! TOM: Whoa, guess we have a winner here. DARIA: Nooooo we don't. She's bluffing. I mean, look at her. STACY: You don't believe me? I can out-eat you. DARIA: Me? TOM: Uh-oh, looks like a challenge. JANE: Yer not gonna let some newbie outdo you. Are ya, Daria? DARIA: No way. I still say she's bluffing. JANE: Then let's get it on!... Tom, you're paying. TOM: Me?! [Ext. Pizza King.] [The FC walks up, the J's tagging along.] QUINN: Well, Stacy has a right to sit in front of the class now. [The J's go into "Quinn's right" mode.] TIFFANY: Yeah. I mean, it'd just be awkward to sit next to the person who fired you. SANDI: You don't need to go on about it! But from your stories, she's been sitting in front through *all* her classes. QUINN: Uh-huh? SANDI: So your theory that it's just awkward to run into the boss doesn't hold. She's avoiding you two also. QUINN: [Angry] Yeah, well... [Her anger dissolves into disappointment] ... Well... [Doesn't finish] SANDI: [Opening the door] Now come on. I'm starving. [Int. Pizza King.] [A crowd has gathered around a table, blocking out who's sitting at it. They chant and cheer, not noticing the six entering the building.] TIFFANY: Wow. What's going on? SANDI: I don't know. [They try to crane their necks over the crowd unsuccessfully.] [At the table, Stacy and Daria have taken opposite ends. Six empty pans lie in-between them. They each have an unfinished slice, having obviously slowed down after a while. Jane and Tom are among the crowd, chanting with it.] JANE: Who are you rooting for? TOM: Um, whoever wins. JANE: Good call. CROWD: Finish! Finish! Finish! [Daria and Stacy moan, but reach for their slices anyway. Daria slowly takes a bite and swallows it.] DARIA: ...Uggghh... That's it... I fold. TOM: I guess that means you won, unless... STACY: Stacy. TOM: Stacy can finish off *two* bites. [In back of the crowd:] QUINN: Did I hear Stacy's name? TIFFANY: Um, I don't know. What did you hear? QUINN: [Well, duh!] Stacy's name! [Blank look from Tiffany.] QUINN: That would be "Stacy"! TIFFANY: Ohhhhh. SANDI: It could be any Stacy, though. [At the table:] STACY: I don't know... I... [Belches, suddenly perks up a bit] Erm, `scuse me. [Blushes] JANE: That must've given her some room. [She finishes off the entire slice. Tom holds up Stacy's arm.] TOM: The winner, and new champion, Stacy... STACY: Rowe. TOM: Stacy Rowe! [Back of the crowd:] QUINN: It *was* her! TIFFANY: What did she do that was so great? SANDI: [Almost forced] Who cares? Let's go find our own booth. [Sandi, Tiffany, the J's and most of the crowd scatter. Quinn lingers around a bit.] DARIA: Well... you beat me... You were right; three whole pies. STACY: Wasn't as easy as it used to be, but yeah. JANE: Heh, fun. [She turns to Tom, but notices Quinn behind him. Everyone else looks.] QUINN: [Turns around, looking back dreading her friend's sudden change] Oh, Stacy... [Leaves] [Stacy continues staring. Her head slowly moves from her Quinn-ward glance towards her feet.] STACY: ...Ohh... [No commercial bumper.] END ACT II *** ACT III [Int. Stacy's room. Night.] [Stacy is rolled to one side on her bed, quietly moaning in her sleep. On her nightstand is a bottle of the Pink Stuff.] [Stacy's dream:] [Ext. field. There is no night or day.] [Stacy walks across the lifeless, rocky land. Her pale, black & white FC friends lurch quietly behind her... She notices a fence not too far in the distance, the other side filled with green grass and occupied by Daria and Jane. Stacy runs. The fence is easy to climb over. She reaches the other side to find that it is now as barren as the original one was. Only now, where she came from has become the grasslands, and the FC has life and color in them, Quinn sticking out the most among them. Stacy turns back to find that despite the surroundings, D&J haven't become as pale as the FC used to be. Still, the colored environment on the other side of the fence is tempting. Stacy jumps back over it, to find that the environments have switched sides again. She panics. She tries one last time to jump over the fence, this time lingering on top of it. Both sides have become lush with life as soon as her feet are touching neither one. So she sits on the post. Alone.] [Reality:] [Int. Stacy's room.] [Stacy wakes up slowly, not jumping up like whenever Daria has a nightmare. She opens one eye, allowing a tear to drop down her face.] [Int. Lawndale High hallway. Day.] [Stacy sits in front of her locker, knees up, arms draped over them. Ted plays a Game Boy.] STACY: ...Ted? TED: Yah. STACY: ...Are you happy with your life? [Ted thinks about this a second, then decides to pause the game.] TED: In what way? STACY: I mean just what I said. Are you happy with the way your life is? TED: [Sitting down next to her] I guess. Why? Are you? STACY: I used to at least think so. Back in the club, I was in a comfortable rut. It's gone now... the rut with it. Now I'm introduced to true freedom of will, and that's great! But... I still look back to the "old" days sometimes. TED: Well... Daria introduced a couple of things to me too. Before *that* time, I was comfortable also. Just content with how everything was, because I accepted it the way it was given to me. I thought that's all I needed. Then Daria shows me the wonders of the modern world: video games, CDs... STACY: Gum? TED: I was trying to avoid saying that, but yes. Point was, as soon as I realized all that I was missing, I wanted more. There was no way I could go back to my former life because of what I was introduced to. Sure, I miss being sort of blindly joyous. But life just kind of... developed. [Bell rings.] TED: Uh-oh. Class'll start soon. Talk about it later? STACY: ...Sure. [Ted gets up and goes to class. Stacy lingers.] STACY: [Quietly] Thanks, Ted. [Int. LHS gymnasium.] [Daria and Jane just stand near the bleachers in their gym clothes. Stacy walks up to them, dressed for the same occasion.] JANE: Yo. STACY: Hey. DARIA: You, um, alright? STACY: I guess. I don't feel like going too much into it. JANE: We understand. DARIA: God, do we understand that. STACY: What're we doing in class today? JANE: Kickball. [Whap! A ball smacks Daria in the head, knocking off her glasses.] DARIA: Come join. It's fun. [School bell segue:] [Int. Lawndale High hallway.] [The FC walks silently. Until:] QUINN: ...I don't believe what's happened to her. TIFFANY: Yeah... Who? QUINN: Stacy. Didn't you see her? Dressed... *casually*! Makeup... *sparse*! Pizza... with *cheese*! TIFFANY: Oh Gawwwd. SANDI: Yeah, well... If that's the way she wants to act, we're better off without her. TIFFANY: Must be. [They stop walking.] QUINN: She only acted that way after you got rid of her! TIFFANY: That's right. SANDI: What? Are you saying it's my fault she's a geek now?! I can't help the way she chooses to act! TIFFANY: Good point. QUINN: But you should've already known how and who she is! You've known her the longest! TIFFANY: True. SANDI: [Faltering, but tries not to show it] Yeah, well... You two were best friends, it seemed! [At this point, even Tiffany's getting a little unsteady about the argument.] TIFFANY: Um, okay. QUINN: What does that hafta do with her behavior in the Fashion Club? TIFFANY: Yeah, really. QUINN: You miss her too. SANDI: No! Why would I? It was my decision to kick her out in the first place! QUINN: You used that excuse before! And it still doesn't make that much sense! Why don't you just admit that you made a mistake? That you were too hasty! SANDI: Don't question my authority! I am the president of the Fashion Club, and what I say goes! QUINN: As second-in-command, what *I* say carries just as much weight! SANDI: Yeah, well... Not anymore! You're outta here! Go! QUINN: Fine! [Stomps off] SANDI: [Calls] You don't even deserve the ceremony that Stacy got! And don't bother crawling back! [Turns to Tiffany] Well, just you and me, then. [Sandi's attitude has weirded Tiffany out enough to make her start backing away.] SANDI: You too?! Fine! You go to your "friends"! See what I care! [Tiffany takes the cue to run away.] SANDI: Fine! I don't need either of you! I can run the Fashion Club all by myself! Ya hear me?! [Ted walks by without stopping.] TED: By definition, a club is a *group* of people. SANDI: You shut up, dork! I-- [Takes in those words to realize she's alone] Aw, hell. [Another part of the hallway:] [Ted catches up to Stacy.] TED: Hey, Stacy! Wait up! STACY: Oh, hi, Ted. What is it? TED: You won't believe what I just saw happen... [Ext. Lawndale High.] [The anti-clique exits.] STACY: ...So it seems like the whole Fashion Club has split apart. The only official member is Sandi. DARIA: Took a little longer than I'd expected... and hoped. JANE: Still, a shining day in Outcast History! STACY: Um, right. I just gotta... do something. I'll be right back. DARIA: What? What are you doing? You're gonna do something. STACY: No. DARIA: Yes. What're you planning? STACY: [Leaves] I'll be back. DARIA: She's doing something. [At the front steps of the school:] [Quinn and Tiffany just sit now that they have nothing to do.] QUINN: What do you wanna do? TIFFANY: I dunno. What do you wanna do? QUINN: I dunno. TIFFANY: ...What do you-- QUINN: You *asked* that. TIFFANY: Oh, yeah. STACY: [Steps in front of them] Hi, guys. QUINN: Stacy! Um, hi. TIFFANY: Hello. STACY: So you were kicked out of the club too? QUINN: Uck, don't remind us. TIFFANY: Really. STACY: What would you say if I told you I knew a more exclusive clique? A better clique! One with no ranks, no regulations. Join together anytime, and just as willingly be with anyone on the outside. Eat what you like, say how you feel, do what you want! Would you join? [Quinn and Tiffany look at each other. Pause.] QUINN & TIFFANY: [Mumbling somewhat unenthusiastically] Yeah, sure. I guess. Why not? Okay. STACY: Great! We can all meet at the pizza place later! [She leaves the two behind.] STACY: [To herself] The people I'm familiar with in the environment I'm most comfortable in! This'll be great! The best of both worlds... [Ext. Pizza King.] [Stacy awaits Quinn and Tiffany. They do come.] STACY: Great! You came! QUINN: Uh-huh. What did you want to show us? STACY: C'mon in. [Int. Pizza King.] [They, uh, c'mon in.] STACY: Let me introduce you to the most exclusive clique in Lawndale. [Daria and Jane are sitting at a table.] DARIA: We're not a-- [Notices who Stacy came in with] ...I knew it. JANE: Oh, God. STACY: Come on! You gave *me* a chance! QUINN: Stacy, what is this thing with my s- cousin?! TIFFANY: Your scuzzin? QUINN: Quiet, you. Stacy, what on earth is going on? DARIA: Yeah. JANE: Yeah! TIFFANY: Yeah! [Int. Morgendorffer living room.] [Jake and Helen on the couch.] JAKE: Yeah! HELEN: What? JAKE: Um... nothing... I just felt like saying "yeah"... Is that a crime? HELEN: Okayyy... [Int. Pizza King.] [Quinn, Tiffany, and Stacy take one side of the table, Daria and Jane the other.] STACY: Try the pizza *with* the cheese. It's well worth the amount of weight you'll work off later. JANE: There has to be a better way to promote this. QUINN: Actually, Stacy, I think I'd prefer it without the cheese. Thanks, though. TIFFANY: Yeah. I mean, Gawd. That'd just be too much for me to handle at once. STACY: Oh... Well, okay. If that's what you really want, I guess I can't argue. Um, maybe after pizza we can go shopping at this neat thrift store... QUINN: Thrift? Uck! TIFFANY: No wayyyy. STACY: But you don't need to be fashionable anymore! We're no longer the Fashion Club. You can dress, act as you like! You don't need to follow conformity! QUINN: But conforming *is* what I like! TIFFANY: Me too. [Stacy looks at them a moment, considering this... What a disappointment...] [Int. Sandi's room.] [She just sits there, fuming. No one vent on, no one to belittle to ease her feelings. She shoves her hands in her pockets, realizes something, then takes out one hand, withdrawing one of Stacy's hairclips. Sandi's kept it ever since she fired her friend. She holds it with a fist and sighs, but keeps her cross expression.] [Int. Lawndale High hallway. Next day.] [Stacy leans against her locker.] STACY: Best of both worlds... ha... Worlds don't mix; they collide... [Quinn comes over.] QUINN: Stacy?... Um, I just wanted to say that, um, it was nice and all to take me and Tiffany in. But, y'know... STACY: I understand. It isn't your thing. QUINN: Okay... Sorry it... didn't work out... STACY: Yeah... But... we can still be friends... right? QUINN: Oh, duh. Yeah. I mean, you practically gravitated towards me. How can I say no to that? STACY: [Grins slightly] That hasn't stopped you from putting off all the boys. QUINN: Yeah, well, they're different. STACY: Uh-huh. [Notices two others] Hi, Daria. Jane. DARIA: Mmmhey. JANE: Howdy. [Quinn backs off from her sister noticeably.] DARIA: You, um... okay? STACY: Getting better. TED: [Walks up] That's good. STACY: Hi, Ted! QUINN: Stacy, I am standing within arm's reach of my cousin, her friend, and a total geek. Is that proof enough of friendship? STACY: [Smiling] ...Yeah... And I've been thinking... With friends like all of you, I don't need my so-called popularity. I don't need the Fashion Club. And I don't need-- TIFFANY: [Jumps into view, pointing] Sandi! [Stacy gasps. Sandi comes up to them.] DARIA: So it wasn't my imagination. The temperature *did* just drop thirty degrees. [Ted backs away, out of sight.] SANDI: [Tries to ignore Daria's comment] Um... hello. TIFFANY: Hi. QUINN: [Icy] What do you want? SANDI: Oh, fu-... [Sighs] I, um, just want to say... [Forces out the next few words] I... am... sorrrrrr-... -ry. [Everyone else raises their eyebrows. Sandi continues, a bit more at ease since she got the hard part out.] SANDI: I was wrong to have... kicked you out. All of you... But... mostly you, Stacy... STACY: Me? SANDI: You did... nothing wrong... per se. And if none of you want to come back to the Fashion Club... I guess I'd understand. TIFFANY: I'll come back. QUINN: Yeah, you're just lost without anyone to follow. TIFFANY: Damn straight. [Tiffany goes over behind Sandi.] QUINN: Guess I'd might as well. VP is always something to brag about. [Quinn follows Tiffany. Stacy is left to choose, but is left torn... A few seconds go by... Sandi's eyes plead; Stacy was the one she bothered apologizing for. Stacy sighs.] STACY: Yes, Sandi... I'll come back, too. [Sandi's taken aback. She never really expected being nice would work (her life doesn't have a good track record of that happening, recall).] SANDI: Um, great! Uh, I mean... That is good. Welcome back to the Fashion Club. [Sandi extends her hand and Stacy takes it for a shake. When they let go, Stacy finds that Sandi has given her back her hair clips.] STACY: ...Thank you... SANDI: No... thank you. STACY: Could you, uh, give me a moment? SANDI: Sure. [The FC minus Stacy leave.] JANE: What was that?! DARIA: What happened to that big speech about not needing them anymore? STACY: I didn't need them... Didn't you see Sandi's eyes? And she never said she was wrong before. Ever... I couldn't just say no. DARIA: What about thinking for yourself? STACY: I am. I'm going against *your* wishes, aren't I? JANE: Well, uh, touché, then. STACY: It's my own choice to go back. Now I have to live up to that decision... Thanks for... keeping me, Daria. Jane. DARIA: Yeah, well... I guess you weren't as much of a pain as I'd expected. Maybe in some sort of weird, twisted way, I'll maybe-sorta miss having you around. [Extends a hand for a shake] So, seeya `round, I guess. [Stacy looks at the hand then back to its owner. Daria is suddenly under an attack of Stacy's hug.] DARIA: Ack! God! No! Stop! Yuck! Gah! [Stacy lets go and trots after the FC. She waves.] STACY: Good-bye. [Daria rubs her arm, recovering from the hug.] DARIA: Gyaaaahhhh... JANE: I thought it was cute. DARIA: Shut up, Lane... Y'know, it *is* sort of sad that despite all this, Stacy still wound up with that crowd in the end. JANE: Yeah, well, maybe with the wisdom we bestowed upon her and her rank as a popular person back, she'll spread the message somehow that blind conformity isn't the way to go. [Daria just gives Jane a look.] JANE: Just trying to find the silver-- DARIA: [Mumbles, waving a dismissive hand as she leaves] Yehyehyehyeh. [Jane remains alone for a second.] [Int. Daria's room. Night.] [She writes in her journal.] DARIA: [V.O.] I usually don't go so far as to say that I feel sorry for someone, but man! That is one sorry girl. Yet, unlike most of Lawndale in general, I don't feel pity because of her intelligence. I feel pity for her situation... [Int. Stacy's room.] [Doing the same thing.] STACY: [V.O.] A situation I'll apparently never grow out of. Why? It's as if nothing ever changes in this town, not even slightly. Although Sandi softened today, she'll most likely revert to her former self, I am at the bottom of the FC system once again... and Ted is still ignorant. Of course, it's not like I did too much to change things. It makes me wonder if the human race will ever have hope. [Int. Daria's room.] DARIA: [V.O.] Most likely not. People in general are thick-headed animals. Individuals are what make life count. And even then, it's rare to find that individual. [Int. Stacy's room.] STACY: [V.O.] I'm glad to have found the two in my life. Even if I never allow myself freedom of spirit ever again, I'll have the memories. [Split: Stacy's/Daria's room.] STACY: [V.O.] I'll miss them. DARIA: [V.O.] She wasn't all too bad... which is something when you consider who just wrote that. BOTH: [V.O.] Maybe, in life-after-school, we can be friends once again. [They close their books and hit their lamps.] [Blackness.] END AUTHOR'S NOTES: Special thanks should go out to... Chad Page (you thought I was gonna say Austin Covello, didncha?) for coming up with the thrift store idea. I was in a bit of a slump and that suggestion got things moving again. (Y'see, I had acts one and three mostly planned out, but didn't think of anything for two. Dumb-dumb-dummy-dumb!) Those furry boots are real; sister Nicole found a pair at *our* local thrift store while we were looking for Jane/Trent costumes for Halloween. The name of the thrift store in this story should be familiar to anyone watching the only other show on MTV worth watching. Act one: Wackiness. Act two: Dramedy. Act three: Drama-ish. Why? I dunno. It's not like I was running out of comedic material once I hit act three, I just felt that humor would actually get in the way of the story I was trying to tell. Yeah, sorry, Danny Bronstein; I know how much you love the jokes and such. Why didn't Quinn get so devastated over being kicked out of the Fashion Club? Unlike Stacy, her popularity doesn't run on the FC's life. In fact, it was her popularity that got her the VP position so quickly in the first place. Leaving the FC would only mean that she'd be friendless... and she's technically without many real friends in the first place, so that wouldn't be much of a problem. Why did Tiffany follow Quinn around after *she* was fired? Well, think of Tiffany and how she has to follow *someone*. Helpless without leadership, she is. I just hope that as a quasi-sequel to Austin's "masterpiece", I did justice.