The Author as a Lesbian - Season 2
by
DeacBlue
1. Episode One
Disclaimer: All recognizable
characters are owned by Glenn Eichler and MTV; no infringement is intended, and
no money is being made. Also, close paraphrasing and some verbatim use from various
episodes, again, no infringement intended.
A/N: As there is no absolute definitive time line for the various
seasons, I'm going to go with each of the first four seasons depicting a
semester, with possible stretching forward or back to cover summers, and IIFY?,
Season 5, and IICY? covering the summer before senior year through the summer
after senior year. I may write beyond that, but that's where I'm placing things
as far as that goes. If anyone can come up with anything more definitive, let
me know, and I'm paying attention to the thread I started on this subject.
Also, credit for Daria's verse goes to 45Ranger and Erin M. on PPMB.
"Daria, can I talk to you?" Quinn had just stuck her head inside her
sister's door.
"Sure, but I'm going to have to charge you. Ten minutes might wipe out
everything you got for Christmas." Daria smirked, then waved her hand.
"C'mon in."
Quinn walked in and looked at all the books, the Taung Baby and human skull
replicas, and shuddered as she sat down. She looked at her sister.
"Listen, I know we haven't always got along -"
Daria cut in. "We have had pretty normal conflicts for sisters with wildly
different interests. I'd like to think that we're getting better with each
other, but time will tell if it's real or just a blip on the radar." She
shrugged. "What's up?"
"Well, you see, it's about Sandi..." She went on to describe the
latest goings-on in the Fashion Club, and how it was frustrating her. Finally,
she ground to a halt.
Daria rested her chin in her hand. "Hmm. Let me see if I've got this
right. You're in this fashion club, and it's frustrating you because it's
becoming obvious to you that, for most of the others, being in the club is not
about fashion. For Sandi, it's a combination of a way to wield power and a way
to be popular; for Tiffany, it's all about the popularity, and for Stacy, it's
about a group to fit into. None of them care enough about fashion to do more
than consult the print version of an infomercial, and Tiffany and Stacy haven't
found an issue that they disagree with Sandi enough on to stand up to her until
now.
"Which brings us to you. You, when we first got here, were far more about
being popular than fashion. I hate to say it, but that girl at the fair
bursting your bubble about modeling did you a big favor, and you're
concentrating on the parts that you really like, like making clothes. I'm proud
of you, Quinn." Daria watched her sister beam. "Now, back to your
problem. The first thing is, and this should be obvious to you, is that your priorities
aren't the same as theirs, anymore."
"I know." Quinn sighed. "If it wasn't for Stacy, I think I'd
have given up and left already. Every so often, I see a smart, conscientious,
loyal friend in there, but Sandi keeps on bringing her down, keeping her off
balance."
Daria nodded. "And Sandi, bad as she is, keeps you doing your best with
the competition. The question is, is this something that you want to compete
at, any more?"
Quinn shook her head. "There is no competition, as far as fashion goes. If
they'd read something other than Waif... But I'm pretty sure that I'm
the only one that really wants to work in the fashion industry." She
looked up at Daria, and her eyes shone. "It's so cool, Daria. Taking these
different kinds of cloth, and making someone twice as pretty as she was before!
Even more, being able to make something pretty! Thank you, again, for
that sewing machine!" She stopped and took a breath.
"As far as the popularity goes, I can more than hold my own, and after
listening to what you had to say about some things, I looked around." Her
smile turned into a frown. "The people at the very top of the popular heap
get there in two ways. Most times they make themselves look like different
things to different people, or, and sometimes and, they climb to the top over
people that they've made fail. I don't like the thought of being either of
those things."
"You'd rather be yourself, and let the chips fall where they may?"
Daria interjected. Quinn nodded. "So I get that staying in the club is making
you compromise your integrity. And, by the way, Sandi's been playing a game of
her own, with this, 'Oh, Quinn, you're so much better, maybe you should
be president." She looked at her sister. "In poker, it's called,
'buying the pot,' and people like it about as much as you do. Even with rules
to prevent the person with the most money to just bet more than anyone else has
to win every pot, it means that that you have to decide whether to commit
everything right at the beginning. And you're right, it's frustrating. But now
that you've told me what your priorities are, there's a way around it. Now, the
next time..."
The girls talked well into the evening.
Daria was working hard on her painting in Ms. Defoe's class. This was one class
where her brain didn't entitle her to an easy A; she had to train her hands to
do what her brain told them. So she didn't pay much attention when Ms. Defoe
walked by her and said, "Good," and even less when Ms. Defoe asked
Brittany if she had spilled her paint.
Hearing Principal Li and Mr. O'Neill come through the door did break her
concentration. The pair stood near the door until Ms. Defoe noticed them, then
Mr. O'Neill spoke.
"Is this a good time, Ms. Defoe?"
Ms. Defoe shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, come on in. Class, Ms. Li and Mr.
O'Neill have some intriguing news."
"Lawndale High is participating in a state-wide art contest," Ms. Li
bubbled.
"That's why we chose an art class to be the place to announce it,"
Mr. O'Neill said with a smile.
Ms. Li looked the class over. "The theme of the contest is 'Student Life
at the Dawn of the Millennium.'"
"What's it like to be a high school student in today's fast-changing
world."
Ms. Li nodded. "Entry is strictly voluntary, of course, although frankly,
I don't see how any of you could think of passing up the chance to bring honor
unto yourself and Lawndale High."
Jane leaned over near Daria. "Unto?"
Daria smirked. "Buckle my shoe."
Mr. O'Neill continued. "Ms. Defoe will choose the entries from each art
class, and I'm contest coordinator for the school. Good luck, kids!"
Ms. Li smiled. "Students, I urge you to take this opportunity.
Curiosity... inquiry... expression... these are the building blocks of
education."
"Ma'am?" Brittany asked.
"No questions! Good luck, all!" Ms. Li responded before she left with
Mr. O'Neill, as the bell rang.
"And that didn't undercut her last statement at all," Daria said to
Jen, who had walked up to them from the other side of the room.
Brittany harrumphed. "I wanted to tell her I've got a great idea for a
poster!"
Daria got an evil grin before she turned to Brittany and, with a somewhat
vacant face, said, "Me, too. Mine's going to be about cheerleading."
Brittany looked crestfallen. "Oh, no! Now what'll I do?"
Kevin, passing by, said, "How about something on quarterbacks, babe?"
His suggestion was rewarded by Brittany stomping out.
As the girls were getting ready to go, Ms. Defoe motioned to Jane. "Jane,
can you stay a minute?"
Daria and Jen waited at the door and listened in.
When Jane walked up to her, Ms. Defoe said, "Jane, I'm eager to see what
all the students come up with for this contest."
"All the students who choose to participate," Jane riposted.
"But I really can't wait to see your entry," Ms. Defoe continued as
though Jane hadn't spoken.
"Well, you know, I really don't think artists should compete with each
other. See, I believe in a community of creativity."
"You're such an accomplished artist, and such an original thinker. If
there's anyone in this school who can capture student life today, it's you,
Jane. I just want to say, good luck."
Jane looked like she was going to ask for help from above, but, instead -
"Thanks."
The girls were walking home, and Jane was complaining. "Dammit! Why did
she have to be so nice? Now I have to come up with some stupid poster about
student life."
"Where to start? There's so much to hate about it," quipped Daria.
The girls stopped.
"You know, nobody said the message had to be positive. I'm going to do
something that really represents student life." Jane ran her fingers
through her hair.
"Yes," Daria said.
"And tell the truth about how much it can suck."
"Yes," said Jen.
"To blow away the story-book fantasy about how great it is to be
young."
"Yes." Daria again.
Jane looked at the other two. "And you're going to help."
"No," they chorused.
Soon they were in their usual positions in Jane's room. You gotta help me.
You're the most negative people I know."
"Thanks," said Jen.
Jane tried pleading. "Come on! Now's your chance to tell the world what
you really think of life at Lawndale High."
Daria looked up. "Tell the world that I, Daria Morgendorffer, have
something to say."
Jane nodded. "Or you and Jen, but yes."
Daria looked back down. "No."
Still pleading, Jane said, "Come on!"
Daria looked over at Jen and sighed. "All right. We'll make our personal
statement, and we'll stand behind it."
"I knew you would." Jane smiled.
"But only on condition of strict anonymity."
Jane smirked. "You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that?"
Jen groaned. "Yeah, and I think we just ordered a stake."
"How about we call it, 'America's Future Leaders,' and we just enlarge a
picture of Kevin and Brittany?" asked Daria.
"Come on, that's too depressing," Jane replied. "How
about we call it, 'Beauty is only Skin Deep,' and we attach the actual skin of
a student?"
"Yeah, but we'll get one donated about the same time that us three get
married," said Jen.
Daria's face lit up. "Hey!"
Ms. Defoe was looking at the various students' paintings. "Well, it's very
gratifying to see so much participation in the art contest," she said as
she walked up to Upchuck. "Charles, what's the name of your poster?"
"I call it, 'Ride, Chucky, Ride'."
"And what exactly does it say about student life at the century's
edge?"
"It's more of a personal mission statement," Upchuck smarmed.
"More like Mission, Impossible," muttered Daria.
Moving on, Ms. Defoe went to Brittany's canvas, which had a crude depiction of
bottles of whiskey and pills. "Tell us about your poster, Brittany."
Brittany perked up. "I call it, 'Don't Drink or Take Drugs.' And the
message is, don't drink or take drugs!"
Ms. Defoe looked puzzled. "But how do we get that message? All I see is
the alcohol and the drugs, with no negative imagery to symbolize their
dangers."
Brittany paused in thought, reached into her bag, took out a tube of lipstick,
and proceeded to draw a large circle with a slash over the poster.
"There!"
"Well, Brittany, that's... um... let's talk after class." Ms. Defoe
walked up to Jane. "And Jane, what did you decide?"
Ms. Defoe looked at the poster, depicting what appeared to be a pep rally.
"So beautifully detailed!" Football players and cheerleaders, in
Lawndale colors, were dancing around and throwing wood on a huge bonfire, that
seemed to be up against a building. Already on the fire was the effigy of a
Halloween witch - pointy hat, wart on the nose, and all. Parents and boosters
seemed to be clapping and pointing at the building. Next to the fire, there was
a large window that showed two beautiful girls in ball gowns, and two dapper
young men in tuxedos. Outside, two equally beautiful girls and two equally
handsome boys were tied to stakes near the fire, with another two being carried
up to a third stake. Then she read the card attached at the bottom:
Look at them in the window
They're the belles as they twirl,
They're the men with a plan;
Look what happens when they show
That she's in love with a girl,
And he's in love with a man.
And now the bonfire is lit
As they let out a cheer
And the message is sent
"No dykes or fags here."
Ms. Defoe frowned. "Oh, Jane, I don't think that's funny."
"Um, you don't?" Jane said, searching for something to say. After Jen
whispered into her ear, she responded, "It's not meant to be funny."
"Do you think that it's your place to pass judgment on people who
do silly things, just because you don't?"
"But that's not what I'm saying at all...hold it..." Jane seemed
confused again, and looked at Daria.
"What are you saying?"
Daria rolled her eyes. "She's saying that many activities, thought to be
necessary for kids to be popular, like cheerleading and pep rallies, can become
dangerous experiments in mob psychology. When you first see the picture, you
say, 'what a nice pep rally - bonfire.' Then you catch the elements that make
it a literal witch hunt, and that, among other things, the mob is taking down
their so-called 'leaders,' the very popular, if they ever show that they're
different."
Ms. Defoe raised her eyebrow. "Oh, is that what you're saying, Jane?"
Jane mumbled, "Pretty much."
"And you felt you had to say it in such graphic, unappealing
language." At this, both Jane and Ms. Defoe looked at Daria, who sighed
and pointed to Jen.
"The choice of words was deliberate, to contrast with the liveliness of
the image and shock the viewer into paying attention to the parts that they
might not have before," the blonde girl said.
Ms Defoe smiled. "You know what, Jane? This really is a work of art, and
it really does make a statement, in an original way. I'd like you to let me
enter it in the state-wide competition."
"Sounds okay."
"And how does it sound to your collaborators?"
They nodded, while Daria muttered, "Next time we give you a prepared
statement."
The three girls sat, not unexpectedly, in the principal's office the next day.
As soon as they were seated, Timothy O'Neill began.
"Daria, Jane, Jen, this poster is beautiful!"
Ms. Li added her kudos. "Truly accomplished. A real credit to yourselves
and Lawndale High."
O'Neill continued. "And the poem...an - interesting - counterpoint.
Except..."
"Yes?" asked Daria in her traditional monotone.
"There's these two lines, and a part of the poster. Ewww." Mr.
O'Neill shuddered.
"Yes?" Daria raised an eyebrow.
"I'm just wondering if you would consider changing the part about 'fags'
and 'dykes.' They're kinda yucky."
"And if we could exclude the part to the right of the bonfire. It presents
a distasteful picture to the student body. You know we wouldn't want people
doing that." Ms. Li put in her two cents.
Daria tried to rein in her temper. "That's the point."
"So we're all on the same page!" Mr. O'Neill seemed pleased.
"What are you smoking?" asked Burnout.
"Look, our view is that a lot of high school is a popularity contest,
egged on by the parents and other adults in the picture, where you are rewarded
if you conform to the mob, but if you don't conform, even if you were leading
the mob before, you will be dragged down and destroyed." Jane looked at
the shocked look on Daria's face. "So it takes me a while."
"But they look so happy and active," Mr. O'Neill said. "Why not
make the theme positive? 'Teamwork can get anything done!'"
Jen narrowed her eyes. "Boy, you really don't get it at all, do you?"
Daria sighed. "Look, I didn't even want to write this stupid poem. I don't
care about what other people do by themselves. But if you change those lines
and cut the poster, it becomes just another phony dishonest message. It'll
applaud the same thing it criticized before. Don't you see that?"
Ms. Li chipped in. "Ms. Morgendorffer, is it a crime for people to have
pride in their sports teams?"
Standing, Daria said, "Do whatever you want to the poster. Just take my
name off it."
Also standing, Jane and Jen echoed her sentiments.
Ms. Li put her hands on her desk. "Now, now, ladies. Emotions are running
high. Let's all take 24 hours to think about it, hmmm?"
Daria shook her head. "We don't need to. Ms. Li, you have three options.
Either you take our names off the poster, you submit the poster exactly
as it is now, or you return the poster to us." She got out her cellphone.
"Any other course of action will result in my calling my mother, who will
then be on her way to winning another lawsuit with the school district.
I hardly think that the superintendent will thank you for that." She
poised her thumb over the first speed dial button. "So which is it?"
"So Li gave in?" Trent's rough voice asked later that
evening, as the three girls sat at a table at Pizza King, two pies sitting demolished
in front of them.
Daria nodded. "She knew that my mom would sue the school and win, if she
didn't. So she decided that her best bet was to enter it as it was. We'll see
how that turns out, but I think that any painting by Jane, here," and she
turned and kissed Jane on the cheek, "has a good chance of winning, and
that's before Jen," and she kissed the blonde's cheek, "and I helped
with the words."
Trent sat, flabbergasted. "You- you're -"
Daria smirked. "Gay? Yes. Jane's known since the second day after I moved
here, and Jen, almost since we met." Her face morphed into its normal
unreadability. "While we were putting together the poster, it occurred to
me that one of the reasons witch hunts worked was that people were afraid of
them. The mob almost always was chasing a fugitive, not defending itself from
someone fighting them. So, while I'm going to do it slowly, because I am
afraid, I'm going to be myself. The mob be damned."
Nods and murmurs answered her as they got up to head home.
2. Episode Two
Daria and Jane
both smirked, watching Mr. DeMartino speak in a normal tone as he slowly
approached Kevin, who had managed to fall asleep in the twenty minutes since
class began.
"And finally, we will be teaming up with the Science and Language Arts
departments for an interdisciplinary field trip to Jim's Paintballing
Jungle." Mr. DeMartino had completed his approach and was now almost
nose-to-nose with the dozing quarterback. He spoke his next sentence very
loudly. "An activity that some of you may find more taxing than sleeping
through class!"
Kevin struggled to awaken, saying, "Umm...The Major League of
Nations?" to everyone's titters.
Mr. DeMartino stood up and continued walking. "And why are we going to
engage in simulated combat? Daria?"
"Well, I could say so that we could see how history repeats itself most
often in war, how physics and weather affect it, and how communication can
often make a difference, but mostly I think no high school education is
complete until you've chased your fellow students and teachers around the woods
with toy guns."
A grin appeared on Mr. DeMartino's face. "Your sarcasm amuses me, Daria. I
hope it provides you comfort when you're cowering in a foxhole. We're going to
study how warfare affects all aspects of culture. Now, we're going to need
parent volunteers. That is, if anyone can pull themselves away from their six
figure jobs as sycophants!"
Daria nearly facepalmed herself when she saw Kevin raise his hand.
Unfortunately, Mr. DeMartino noticed it, as well. "Yes, Kevin?" he
asked.
"My dad's not a sycophant, Mr. D. He's a contractor!"
Mr. DeMartino took a deep breath. "Kevin, stay close to me when you get to
the paintball range, okay, son?"
"Sure!"
And with that affirmation, Mr. DeMartino let out an evil laugh that followed
the students out the door.
Quinn knocked on Daria's open door and walked in.
"I'm sorry, the maximum occupancy is one. Please exit through the
front," Daria said, not looking up from her copy of "Catch-22."
"Dar-i-a. I'm just checking. We aren't telling Mom and Dad that they're
looking for paintball volunteers, right?"
Daria put a bookmark in her novel and closed it. "Right. We work together
for the sake of a common goal: no mention of paintballing or volunteering from
either one of us."
"Agreed." Quinn walked out, and to her own room, where Daria could
hear her and the club discussing helmet hair and braids.
The next evening, Daria and Helen were sitting at the kitchen table when Quinn
walked in, her hair in small braids. Having seen her a moment before their
mother, Daria spoke up. "Hi, Quinn. Nice new 'do."
Quinn blushed. "Thanks. I just decided to experiment a little."
Daria raised her eyebrow. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a new
bike path they're making, and all the hot guys?"
"Well, if we're going to ride bikes, we can't have helmet hair!"
Quinn said, feigning annoyance.
"Just be safe, Quinn," Helen said. "We don't want to have to
pick you up after you've been hurt."
"That's what the braids are for, Mom," Quinn said. "So we can
wear helmets and still look good."
Daria, Jane, and Jen sat near the back of the bus, watching Mr. O'Neill try to
infuse school, or possibly competitive, spirit into the students.
"All right! Now lets see which side of the bus can sing the loudest! Left
side!" he sang, while marching in place, "'When Johnny comes marching
home again, hurrah, hurrah!' Come on, left side, don't be shy." He gave
out a surprised yelp as Mr. DeMartino stood up and shoved him out of the way.
"Thank you, Mr. O'Neill, for your tireless dedication to reminding the
students how out of touch we are. Now, we're going to discuss the history of
guerrilla warfare." Mr. DeMartino continued talking as the girls lost
interest.
"'Only 20 miles to the Great White Shark.' You know, sharks don't really
like to eat humans. They usually just tear out a bite and swim away," Jane
said.
"Well, usually with a vital organ or two, but yeah." Daria looked a
bit down.
"C'mon, guys. This'll be cool," Jen said with a smile. "A whole
afternoon with nothing to do but shoot the shit?" At the puzzled looks of
her compadres, she continued. "All we have to do is make sure that
we're on the same team, shoot each other at the start, find a comfort station,
and we're done." At their dawning smiles, she nodded.
On the other bus, the members of the Fashion Club, all with their hair in
braids, were having their own meeting. Sandi spoke up. "So it's decided:
no matter what happens, we won't shoot each other and mess up our
outfits." She held her hand over her copy of Waif as if it were a
Bible. "If I fire on a fellow Fashion Club member, may I wear brown pants
with an elastic band for a whole week."
Quinn chimed in, her hand on the magazine. "If I fire, I'll wear taupe
pantyhose. The shiny kind."
Stacy put her hand on the mag as well. "Stonewashed jeans."
And Tiffany. "Glasses."
The three J's all chimed in, pledging to protect Quinn, who accepted, without
any great enthusiasm.
When they got off the bus, the girls were astounded by the sight of their
parents, dressed in camouflage, waiting for them. "Surprise!" they
chorused.
While Quinn just gave out a yelp and ran off, Jane leaned over and asked
softly, "What are they doing here?"
Daria replied, "I guess tormenting me in the privacy of my own home wasn't
enough."
Mr. O'Neill said brightly, "Daria, isn't this great? I called your mother
about the school review board meeting, but she was going out of town that night
and asked if we were looking for paintball volunteers! I only wish more parents
cared enough to take such an active role in their child's education."
Jake chimed in, "Me, too!" just as Helen said, "Yes..."
Daria looked over at Jen. "How close are these comfort stations?"
The owner, Jim, was giving the briefing on the course and the rules.
"...We also have an exact replica of 'Nam's infamous POW prison, the Hanoi
Hilton. Special rates for weddings." He smiled.
Sandi raised her hand. "Colonel, or whatever. Where's the ladies
room?"
Jim grinned. "Oh, there are 'comfort stations' scattered about, but
they're really well camouflaged." He pointed at Jake. "Hey, you! Come
here!"
Jake looked around. "Me?"
Jim nodded. "Watch this!" And he pushed Jake, screaming, into a hole
in the ground. "Isn't it great? A whole labyrinth of underground tunnels.
You could get lost down there for days."
Helen exclaimed, "Jake!" while Jake yelled, "Yeah, great. Uck,
worms!"
After Mr. O'Neill tried, once again, to excite them, Daria told Ms. Barch that
they were going out and drawing the enemy's fire. Five minutes later, the three
girls had been painted and were on their way to a "comfort station."
As they stepped inside under the canvas, Daria smiled at the sight of Jen
pulling a notebook and a sketchbook out from her backpack.
"I knew you guys would get bored without these," she explained. After
a few minutes, Jen spoke up, again. "Do you guys think I'm a
slacker?" she asked.
Jane looked up from her sketch of, strangely enough, Jen. "Jen, amiga,
I think that you haven't really settled on what you want to do, but seeing as
you're sixteen, I wouldn't call it slacking, yet." She ran her fingers
through Jen's hair, smoothing it down, and ignoring the shivers that it gave
the girl.
"What she said," Daria added, looking up. "Look, Jane and I know
pretty much what we want to do, but in Jane's case, it's because she has a
great talent. Her paintings are already on the same level as most professional
artists, and she's only going to get better. As for me -" she was
interrupted by Jane.
"As for her, you could say the same thing. She is the best at writing to
persuade that I've seen. Ever." Jane took a breath and continued.
"Now, it could be that I just haven't read all that much, but I think that
if someone that good were out there, we'd have heard from them." She
looked straight into Jen's eyes. "And you have a talent of your own, if
not more than one. Girl, you sing like a dream. I know that there are lots of
others that do, too, but there are a lot more that can't." She drew Jen to
her and kissed her forehead. "Be patient. Look around, and find what's
right for you. You're not a slacker."
Daria spoke up, just as thunder rumbled, and rain started coming down onto the
tent. "I..um..that brings up something. I know I said I'd be coming out
slowly last week. But I didn't re- strike that. I didn't want to realize
that by coming out, however slowly, I'd be bringing one or both of you out,
too. Even if nothing were happening, people would assume you two were gay just
because you're my friends."
Jen shrugged. "Everyone who's important to me already knows that I'm bi.
For the assholes that want to mess with me..." she flicked her lockblade
open.
Jane smiled and brushed a bang off of Daria's glasses. "What I told you
when I was laid up still stands, and always will."
After having managed to all shoot each other, and accusing each of the others
of cheating, the Fashion Club had managed to make it to the Hanoi Hilton before
the rain started. Quinn had just sat down and started watching the other
students dance when Tiffany approached her. "Where's Sandi?" she
asked.
"Oh, you know Sandi. Always looking for a bathroom."
Quinn nodded. "She looks really cute today."
Tiffany nodded slowly. "Mm-hmm."
"Cuter than me?" Quinn asked. This was one of the test questions that
she and Daria had worked out.
"Oh, no. You're way cuter."
Quinn nodded at the response. Well, that settles that. Stacy may be
salvageable, but those two... She gave out an involuntary shudder.
As the rain softly came to an end, Jen looked at her watch. "We should
probably start heading for the bus, they'll be going, soon," she said. She
gently squeezed Daria's and Jane's hands as they made their way to the front of
the course. When they got there, just ahead of Quinn and the three Js, they
heard Mr. O'Neill ask about the Morgendorffers.
Ms. Li said, "They drove here, they can drive back," but she seemed a
bit smug to Daria. However, they had the car, and their cell phones, so she let
it go. Ms. Li asked if everyone was accounted for, and they all got in and
collapsed in their seats while the buses started away. No one saw the small
figure running to catch up with the bus, slipping, and falling in a mud puddle.
3. Episode Three
"Before we
all leave for Super Bowl weekend," Mr. O'Neill was saying, "I'd like
to give a little appreciation to one of our students who has been the most
improved over the last two months. She has gone from barely passing, to
consistently turning in high-B to low-A work. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Quinn
Morgendorffer!"
Quinn blushed as the few claps of applause, along with many shocked looks (and
some glares from Sandi and Tiffany) washed over her. She looked back at them,
her mouth firmed into a small smile. Daria was so right.
As they picked up their books to leave the classroom, Quinn leaned over to
Stacy. "Wanna come over to my house, say, three fifteen?" she asked.
"Your house? Sure!" Stacy exclaimed, then paused. "But, what
about the Fashion Club meeting?"
"Oh, Stacy," giggled Quinn, "the Fashion Club meeting isn't
until four. We have plenty of time!" And with that, the two girls made
their way out of the class, and Quinn slipped away from both Stacy and the duo
of Sandi and Tiffany, who were waiting with crossed arms.
Daria, Jen, and Jane had just gotten in from school and were settling down to
watch a healthy dose of Sick, Sad World, when a knock came on the door.
"I'm sorry, but you must knock three times on the ceiling if you want
me," called out Daria.
"Dar-i-a!" her sister's voice sounded through the doorway. "It's
important." Daria nodded, and Jen, who was closest to the door, turned the
knob, letting Quinn in.
Daria raised her eyebrow. "This is false advertising. You said you were
important, and now I find that you're Quinn." Seeing Quinn roll her eyes, she
relented. "What's going on, Quinn?"
Quinn looked with almost pleading eyes at Daria. "You remember that talk
we had right when the semester began?" Seeing Daria's nod, she continued.
"I think that it's coming to a head today. Mr. O'Neill made a big thing
about how much better my grades have been in his class, and both Sandi and
Tiffany were staring daggers at me."
"First, congratulations, Quinn," Daria said, with no hint of sarcasm
in her voice. "I'm proud of you. Next, I take it you asked Stacy over?"
She looked over at Jane and Jen. "We talked about Quinn's problems with
the Fashion Club just before that whole poster thing, and laid out a strategy,
based on how things went down. Quinn's going to show Stacy her real fashion
magazines, where and how real fashion is made for people, and try to keep her.
Not as a pawn in a power play, like Sandi seems bent on playing, but as a
friend who has an interest in fashion and makeup."
"And later tonight, Sandi and Tiffany are going to come over and make me
do things their way, just like I've always done," said Quinn. "Except
this time, I'm not letting them run over me, and I'm gonna be out of the
Fashion Club, hopefully with Stacy. But even if she's not, I'm going." She
turned and looked at Daria. "Are you going to hold up your part? I think
the Valentine's Dance will do."
Daria sighed. "Well, let's ask them." She turned to Jane and Jen.
"What Quinn's talking about is that, to push the point home that she's not
abandoning fashion, just the Fashion Club, she wants to design clothing and
make us up for the next dance. Since I came up with this, I'm committed."
She took a deep breath. "Will you two go to the Valentine's Dance with me?
And will you let Quinn dress you?"
Jane seemed almost in shock, her face pale. "Daria? What does this mean? I
mean -" she was stopped by a hug from Jen.
Daria looked right into Jane's eyes. "Lane, I meant what I said. You are
the most important person in the world to me." She grabbed both Jen and
Quinn's hands. "Even though there's a lot of competition for second place,
most of those people are there because you showed me that someone could like
and accept me for me, just as I am." She took a breath. "If you never
are anything beyond a best friend to me for the rest of my life, I will be more
than happy." A small smile appeared on her lips. "Of course, I told
you what kind of girls I go for."
Jen spoke up from her hug. "Daria and I talked about this once. We're not
at the point where we're choosing life partners yet, even if you two seem to
have chosen each other. We know that we're attracted to each other, and both
attracted to you. I know I don't know how this will play out, all three
together, one couple and one friend, or all three going their separate ways,
but I know that I want to be with you both in some way, friendship, romance,
marriage, for as far as I can see ahead." She squeezed Jane's hand and
looked up at her. "So, yeah, Daria, I'll go with you, and I'd be very
happy if Jane came, too."
Jane gave out a crooked grin. "What the hell, I guess it's the three amigas!
Stacy was in shock. For the past three years, Sandi had pounded it into her
head that there was only one arbiter of fashion, and that was Waif. Now
here Quinn was showing her tons of other fashion magazines, and even for the
mid-teen body types, all of Quinn's magazines were better at making them look
good than Waif. She looked up at Quinn. "Why are you showing me
this?"
Quinn crossed her arms and set her face. "Because tonight, Sandi's going
to try and make me 'not be a brain,' or in other words, not be better than her,
so that she can still control me, us." She looked into Stacy's eyes.
"When that fails, she'll put me on a 'fashion sabbatical,' which I will
take and turn into leaving the club." She took a breath. "Stacy, the
reason that I'm showing you this is that you're the only other one that seems
to be interested in the actual fashion part of the club, rather then using the
club for popularity or power. Your skills with makeup are just - wow." Quinn
looked down. "I do know that if we do this, Sandi'll try and make us look
bad, like we left because we don't care about fashion." She looked back up
and smiled. "But Daria and I have a plan to take care of that."
Stacy raised her eyebrows and tugged her pigtails. "Daria? Your
cousin?"
Quinn blushed. "My sister. I was a little stupid when we came to school
here."
Stacy smiled. "You're already ahead of Sandi, She can never admit
her mistakes." She took a breath. "All right, I'm in. On one
condition."
Quinn raised her eyebrows. "Which is?"
"That you don't just throw me to the curb when this is done. As long as
I'm loyal to you, you be loyal to me. I'm not a toy, I'm your friend,"
Stacy said, staring at Quinn.
Quinn hugged her, startling Stacy. "Of course! It wouldn't be worth it,
any other way."
"The Fashion Club will come to order," Sandi said from her seat on
the floor with her back against Quinn's bed. "None opposed, we'll dispense
with the reading of our last meeting's minutes, and get to the first item of business."
She stared at Quinn. "It has come to our attention that one of our members
has been spending more time in study that that needed to simply pass, cutting
down on her time to present the best possible representation of a member of the
Club. She has been warned in the past about this matter, but assured us that
she was doing fashion research. Since this is obviously not true, we need to
hear from her before we decide on what actions to take. Quinn?"
Quinn looked steadily back at her supposed friend. "When I told you I was
researching fashion, I was researching fashion," she said, flatly.
"It's not my fault if I can cover my duties to the club and put energy
into my homework, as well." Her look disguised her inner shuddering. This
was going to go bad in the short run. If Daria wasn't right about it rebounding
right after... "So I don't think that there's an infraction to take action
on."
Sandi looked flabbergasted. "Then-" She shook her head. "Since
the member will not admit her error, on my authority as President, we will
commit Quinn to taking a fashion sabbatical of no less than three weeks, during
which she will not take part in any meetings or events of the Club. After that
time, she can petition for un-sabbaticalness."
Quinn smiled and shook her head. Right down to using the word petition.
How does Daria know these things? She looked back at Sandi. "No need.
I think that I'll spend the time that I've wasted on this club on something
that really interests me. And since you're kicking me out, I guess you wouldn't
be caught dead in an unfashionable persons' house. Move to adjourn?"
Stacy seconded, and as the girls gathered their things, Quinn said,
"Stacy, you can stay," which put the shocked looks back on Sandi and
Tiffany's faces.
Sandi's eyes narrowed. "You've been planning this." She took a
breath. "How long?"
Quinn's eyes sparkled. "Let's just say that I wasn't the only person who
saw you fall in the puddle behind the buses."
Tiffany slowly drawled out a question. "Whaaat interests you, Quinnn?"
Quinn smirked. "Fashion."
Daria rubbed her eyes. These contacts sure do itch. Thank God it's only for
one night. She looked around. Quinn had outdone herself, and in record
time. The only way that she had finished was that she had done nearly all of
the prep work on everyone's dress but Stacy's before "The Incident,"
as Jane called it. She had taken the week and a half to do fit and finish on
theirs, and to work Stacy's dress up.
Sandi had done as they had guessed, starting a whispering campaign about how
Quinn was now a "brain," and didn't have enough time to be cute or
fashionable. To her credit, Quinn had not responded to any of those rumors,
simply giving a small smile and keeping Stacy and the three Js close around
her. Tonight, Daria was forced to admit that she looked lovely, in a
close-fitting lime-green dress where everything was simple but coordinated, from
her barrettes to her shoes. Jamie was looking dapper in his tux by her side.
Daria smiled wryly as she looked in the mirror. She had given Quinn and Stacy
carte blanche in dressing her for tonight, and they had taken it. The contacts
were one of their first demands, one that her mother happily underwrote. Then
came the hair salon, the high-heeled shoes, the dark emerald dress...they
actually didn't do anything to her makeup after she had shown that she could
apply it more than competently. They were amazed at the results until Daria
reminded Quinn that she had been the Fashion editor in Highland. Daria knew
that she had a nice body, and could show it off like this most days. But why?
She wasn't interested in being judged by her looks or attracting the boys, and
had the girls that she wanted, who had not been pressing her to show more.
Well, that may be about to change, Daria mused as she remembered the
moment, a half-hour ago, when she, Jane, and Jen had seen each other. Daria had
been struck dumb at the sight of her girls. Jane was in a black and red dress,
while Jen's was black with dark green accents. Both were very close fitting,
and Daria thought (while drool collected in her mouth) that she would have
trouble keeping the boys away. Jen even had her hair pulled back, showing her
pretty face.
Stacy stood by Jeffy, her hair out of pigtails and flowing over her shoulders,
and wearing a sky-blue dress that just exactly complemented her. He didn't seem
at all unhappy to be escorting her.
After Helen and Jake finished taking pictures of everybody, Quinn led the way
to the waiting limo.
The instant that the group came through the doors, all conversation ceased.
Joey (who had accepted the DJ job before "The Incident") stopped the
music, and all eyes fell on the group. Five beautiful girls, two handsome men,
and for once, the spotlight wasn't on Quinn. It was on Daria, her fingers
interlaced with both Jane's and Jen's. Jaws dropped all over the hall.
The first person to come up to them was a football player named Robert. In a
voice reminiscent of Keanu Reeves, he looked at Daria and said, "Ma'am?
You look very pretty tonight. Would you like to dance?"
Daria blushed, and said, "Thank you, but no. I've got my dates right
here." And she held up her arms with her dates's fingers still entwined.
"Thank you for the complement on my appearance, my sister Quinn designed
and made these dresses." After Robert walked away, several other men came
up and asked one or the other of the girls the same general questions, and received
the same general answers - "we're spoken for, and Quinn designed our
clothes."
Finally, Joey started the music again, and everyone started to dance. Daria,
Jane, and Jen all danced together, except on the slow songs, where they
switched off, and every third slow song, a particular pairing got to dance.
During one of these where Daria and Jane were dancing, Jen was sitting at a
table near Quinn, Stacy and their dates. She saw Sandi and Tiffany, with their
dates, approach the table, so she quietly stood up and put her hand in her
purse, where she had kept her lockblade.
"Well, Qu-win, it looks like you've managed to dress all of your friends
in unfashionable clothing," Sandi said.
"What are you talking about?" asked Quinn, although she was
fairly certain that she knew the answer.
"Well, Waif says -" Sandi started, only to be interrupted by
Quinn.
"Oh, Sandi, what Waif says isn't fashion, it's what makes their
advertiser's products sell," Quinn said, amused. "Did you know that Waif
once said that cutoffs were in fashion because one of their advertisers had
gotten a truckload of jeans with bad legs?"
"Well, it's unfashionable to be around those kind of people,
and your cousin or something is one of them."
Quinn was trying hard not to giggle. "Sandi, for your information, Daria
is my sister, and yes, she's gay. And if you are going to work in
fashion or modeling, you'd better get used to being around them, and working
with them, as there are a lot of them in the industry." Her face lost its
air of amusement, and she was about to say something, when she felt a hand on
her shoulder.
Jen quietly said, "I'll take this," to Quinn, then turned to Sandi.
"I'm gonna say that everything she told you was right. She made us
beautiful for tonight. But, sister," and she looked directly into Sandi's
eyes, which would have caused Sandi to back up if her date hadn't been right
behind her, "if you're thinking about doing harm to her, or her sister, or
anyone for just being gay, remember about that Tommy Sherman guy, and how he
outweighed her three to one, and you don't."
Sandi, in a figurative corner, said, "And what if someone comes after
you?" Her attempted sneer vanished when Burnout pulled her knife out,
opened it, and started cleaning her nails with it, all in the course of a
couple of seconds.
"Please do. Please give me a reason."
4. Episode Four
The next day, the
girls were whispered and stared at all through the morning. Finally, at lunch,
Daria had had enough. With Jane and Jen sitting on either side of her, she sat
down on a table and said, in a loud, clear voice, "Hey!" After the
murmur of voices had stopped, she continued. "All morning, you have
pointed and stared at me and my friends. So does anyone have something to ask,
or something to say?"
Unsurprisingly, the first person to stand up was Kevin. "so, uh, Daria,
we're, well at least I am, wondering. We were at the dance last night, and, uh,
are you one of those dyke women?"
"Well, I prefer the terms gay, or lesbian, but yes, Kevin. You'll have to
ask my companions their specific leanings, yourselves." She looked to
either side and saw her friends smirking. "Of course, my question is, why
do you care? You haven't been chasing me, and I certainly haven't been
encouraging you, Kevin."
"Well, yeah, but you weren't a babe before, and you were last night."
He seemed confused.
"Kevin, I was the same person last night that I've been for the last year
or more. I looked a little better, because I was wearing one of my sister's
handmade dresses, and Stacy Rowe's makeup, but I was essentially the same
person you've known for more than half a year, a brain who didn't flirt with
anyone, and who didn't want to be judged by her appearance. My true friends,
and I have more of them than I would have thought when I came here, don't. They
look at all of the other things that make up someone." She looked at Kevin
again, and saw that he was even more confused. "Look, Kevin, you weren't
interested in me before because I was a brain, and because you have Brittany,
right?" He nodded. "Well, nothing's really changed. I'm still a girl
that you're not going to get together with, for whatever reason. So you don't
have to worry about it. Sound good?"
He appeared lost in thought for a moment, then he raised his head and said,
"Okay!" Daria had turned around, preparing to sit down next to Jen,
when a voice rang out.
"You're going to Hell!" Daria turned, and identified the speaker as
Priscilla, one of the students who had joined LHS on the same day that she did,
and a member of the Campus Crusade for Christ.
She crossed her arms and leaned back against the table. "I'll have to
disagree with you on that point, at least if you're saying the reason would be
my lesbianism." She shifted a bit as she looked straight at the girl.
"Listen, you're a Christian, right?" Priscilla nodded. "Well,
then why is this such a big issue for you? You've got at least three passages
in the Bible that pretty much tell you to butt out of things like this."
Daria counted on her fingers. "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Unless
someone accepts Jesus like a child, with his whole heart, he is not saved. 'I
give to you a new commandment, that you love one another. Even as I have loved
you, that you also love one another.' Do not point at the speck in your brother's
eye before removing the beam from your own." She sighed. "This is the
set of rules that you have agreed to follow. And what they say is, in sum, 'You
cannot force people to believe and be saved. Show them love, show them how
God's grace has affected your life, and leave it to me to administer the rod of
correction.' You can show people your beliefs, you cannot force them to take
yours just because you find their actions distasteful. Not harmful, simply
distasteful." She pointed toward Priscilla. "So your job as a
Christian is to make me believe that my actions are wrong, not to hate me or
harm me because they make you say, 'Ooo, ick.'"
After a few moments, it became clear that Priscilla was not going to respond.
Daria looked around, then said, again loudly and clearly, "Does anyone
else have anything to say or ask?" Getting no response, she added,
"Good, then I expect the stares and whispering to stop." And with
that, she sat down.
"I don't think you've thought this through. What do you do with the hostages
one you get to the airport?" Daria asked as they approached the
Morgendorffer home.
"They're coming with us. We're talking party plane. All the way to
Libya." Jane smiled at Daria.
"Oh, but that means you'll have to give Ghadaffi some of the really good
herb," Jen said from the other side, as Daria opened her front door.
Once she did, Helen's voice could be heard coming from the kitchen. "Rita,
that's so wonderful. I'm so happy for you! You and Erin both."
Daria stopped in her tracks and turned to her friends. "Ah, you guys had
better take a hike."
"Why?"
Daria's mouth formed a frown. "My mom's talking to my Aunt Rita. This
isn't going to be pretty."
Jen nodded. "Gotcha. Later, huh?" she said as they both turned to
leave. Daria turned and trudged through the house to the kitchen, where her
mother was still on the phone, and her father was frantically reading, in order
to be out of the line of fire.
"I can't believe it. Little Erin getting married. She's not rushing into
this, I hope. Oh, no, no, of course not. Twenty-one is... I'm not implying
anything, for goodness sake, Rita. I'm just... this is so exciting! Where?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. That sounds lovely. I presume Mom's footing the bill? No,
no..." Daria grimaced as her mother dug herself in ever deeper.
"Your cousin Erin is getting married." Daria turned to see her father
peeking over his paper.
"So I had gathered."
"You know there'll be hell to pay."
At that, Helen hung up and walked over to the table. "Well, I guess you
all heard the wonderful news. Little Erin is getting married." She shifted
to a lower register. "At the Windsor Hills Resort in Leeville."
Jake looked impressed. "Whoa-ho! That'll set Rita back a pretty
penny."
Helen was less so. "Not Rita. Mother. Nothing but the best for her
favorite daughter's darling offspring."
"Windsor Hills. They've got that legendary thirteenth hole!"
"Forget it, Jake. No golf. Wedding."
Daria, smirking, said, "I'm almost sorry I'm going to miss this."
Helen shook her head. "On the contrary, sweetie: you and Quinn are going
to be bridesmaids." Her voice went low again. "I made sure of
that."
Daria was shocked. Raising her eyebrows, she said, "Bridesmaids?"
"What a hideous twist of fate. Me, a bridesmaid." Daria said to Jane
as they walked down the street.
"Aw, it won't be that bad, I mean, sure, you'll have to wear some frilly
peach-color dress that makes you look like a circus freak, and you'll be
pinched on the cheeks by old uncles who still think you're six years old,
and..."
"Here we are," Daria said, and they went inside the shop.
As they came in, an elderly saleslady greeted them. "I'm sorry, we only do
weddings, not funerals."
Distracted, Daria replied, "Believe me, I'd prefer a funeral."
The saleslady said, in a flat voice, "You don't have to get married if you
don't want to... or do you?"
Daria gave a flat stare at the woman, and said in a monotone voice, "I'm a
bridesmaid in the Chambers-Danielson wedding."
After looking up the information in the computer, the saleslady said, "Here
it is. Pity. They're such lovely dresses." Daria started to say something,
but was stopped by Jane's hand on her shoulder. She looked up, and saw Jane
smile from one side of her mouth, and shrug slightly. Daria held up her
forefinger, then followed the lady into the fitting room.
A few minutes later, the lady had the dress on Daria and was attempting to fit
it to her. "Nature didn't see fit to give you much in the way of hips, did
she, dearie?"
Daria clenched her fists. "That's it," she said, "Stop what
you're doing." She began to take the dress off. "I have a little
sister who can do this better than you. We'll pay for the dress, but not the
fitting." As she put on her regular clothing, she looked at the woman
again, "And for your information, my girlfriend thinks that my hips are
just fine!"
As they were about to head to the register, Jane hugged her from the side and
said, "I really do."
They had just finished paying the suddenly disgruntled saleslady when Jodie and
Brittany came in the shop. "Daria?" she asked.
"What are you doing here?" they both asked at the same time.
"Isn't is obvious? An Arab sheik's in town to buy a few more wives."
Jane snarked.
"They're putting on a bridal expo in the gym. We're modeling!"
Brittany squeaked.
"Well, you should stay away from here, then," said Daria, as she and
Jane walked out.
On the day of the wedding, they were finally in the car when Daria turned to
Quinn and said, "Once again, Quinn, thank you for your work on this dress.
I shudder to think of what it would have looked like if that old lady had fit
it."
Quinn blushed, "Oh, it was nothing. Are you sure she took your
measurements? The way she had it marked, I'm not even sure that it would have
stayed up on you."
"Yes, thank you, Quinn," Helen said. "And the amount that I
would have paid the bridal shop for fitting is going to be added to your
allowance this time."
"I don't know why you didn't let me bring my golf clubs." Jake
grumbled.
"Jake, we're here to see my family, not to have fun."
"Does anyone other than me have a problem with that statement?" Daria
muttered to herself.
"Who's escorting your sister to this, anyway?" asked Jake.
Helen pondered. "Well, she dumped the sculptor, the skydiving instructor
had that horrible accident, and I believe that Bruno is in some federal
facility. So I don't know..."
"That Rita sure knows how to pick 'em." Jake chuckled as he turned
into the drive for the resort. They all were shocked when they saw how
high-class the resort was.
"Wow!" exclaimed Quinn.
"This will cost your mother a fortune!" said Jake.
"Well, what else should she spend her money on? Something boring, like
college funds for her other granddaughters?" Helen was simmering.
Jake chuckled, then grew serious as he started to get what she had said.
"Hey..."
Helen continued. "I just keep telling myself that Erin hasn't had the
advantages our girls have."
Quinn and Daria looked at each other. "Advantages?" Quinn asked
quietly.
Daria shrugged her shoulders. "You got me."
Jake had just finished handing off his car to the valet when Rita and her
boyfriend came outside. "Helen!" she cried.
"Rita!" Helen replied as they hugged. Rita then looked over at Jake.
"How are you, Jake?"
He smiled. He managed to get out, "Well, I'm not that..." when he was
interrupted by Rita.
"Oh, the girls look lovely." She looked at Daria. "You look
especially good, Daria."
"Thank you. My girlfriend thinks so, too. But you can give most of the
credit to Quinn, she did the fitting alterations after we ended up with an
incompetent seamstress." Quinn blushed.
Rita seemed about to say something, but then turned to Quinn. "Quinn! You
look lovely today. And you did the alterations?"
"Yes," Quinn said. "I want to be a fashion designer, and this
has seemed to be one of the ways to see if it's right for me."
Helen, trying to regain control of the conversation, said, "I'm sorry
about the rehearsal dinner, Rita. I had meetings all yesterday afternoon, and
by the time we got on the road..." she trailed off as Rita brought her boyfriend
even with her.
"Everyone, this is Paul, my beau."
The man she had introduced smiled. "Hello."
"Paul Meyerson?" Everyone turned to look at Jake.
Paul started, then looked closely at Jake. "Jake?" He turned to Rita.
"Jake and I were in Boy Scouts together. You bring your clubs?"
While Jake and Paul were getting re-acquainted, Daria pulled at her mother's
sleeve. "Can I talk with you for a minute in private, Mom?" After
they had stepped a few feet away, Daria turned to face her. "Mom, I want
you to know that I love you very much. But if you start the same argument that
you bring up every time we all get together, I'm going to be unhappy with you
for a long time." As Helen started to open her mouth, Daria held up her
hand. "Save it. Grandma Barksdale has always favored Rita over you and
Aunt Amy, always showered her and Cousin Erin with gifts, and made their lives
easy while we've had to scratch sometimes to get by." Her mouth firmed.
"So what? Since that problem with Tommy Sherman, there is more than enough
for me and Quinn to go to any school in the country. That's not even counting
the extra that you make as a partner, and the fact that both Quinn and I are
making some money on the side with the things we love.
"All you would be getting from Grandma Barksdale at this point is money
for toys, and would you really want to humiliate yourself for that? Just be
glad that we all can make our way in the world, if we need to, and enjoy the
party. Can you do that for me, Mom?"
Helen stood there, shocked, as a single tear made its way down her cheek, and
she hugged Daria tightly.
After a few moments, they made their way back to the group, just as a small
sports car made its way to the valet drop-off. "I don't mind a few dents,
but change the radio station and you're a dead man." was heard from the
driver, who got up and walked toward the group.
"Amy, how delightful. I thought you weren't coming." Rita had a
pasted-on smile in evidence.
"I wasn't, but I thought if you two could put aside years of bitterness
and resentment, then so can I... for a day."
Helen glanced at Daria. "I'm trying to make it more than a day."
Amy gave her sister a genuine smile. "Welcome to the human race." She
looked over at Jake. "So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable
fortitude." Looking over at Paul, she added, "And Roger. How's the
skydiving going?"
Helen interceded. "Amy, Roger passed away. This is Paul."
"Oh, sorry. Paul, how do you do?" She held out her hand.
Taking it, he asked, "Who's Roger?"
Quinn smirked. "He fell onto a cow."
Paul's face paled. "Ick!"
Daria said in her monotone, "And he was one of the lucky ones."
Helen simply said, "Girls," and they both quieted down.
Amy seemed to be trying to suppress a snort. "Hey, what's the point of a
senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humor in it? I like the way you
think, Daria." She winked at Daria.
Rita picked that moment to decide where to put Amy. Taking her arm, she said,
"Now, Amy, I don't know where we're going to seat you..." as she led
her into the building.
Daria bumped her mother. "Isn't it nice not to be the focus of the drama,
for once?"
They were finally in front of the minister. Daria had spent all of the morning
and the start of the afternoon keeping herself occupied by telling the tallest
tales that she could think of to the other bridesmaids who, with he exception
of Quinn, swallowed every one hook, line, and sinker. She tried to pay
attention to the minister, who was droning on.
"And as we share the joy of this lovely young couple, Brian and Erin, we
are compelled to ask, what is love? Yes, love, like a tiny rivulet which begins
in a high mountain, and only after twisting and turning for thousands of miles,
overcoming uncountable obstacles, must eventually meet, and merge, with that
great ocean of love which is its birthright and its destiny."
To keep herself awake, she looked back to see who else was asleep. As she
looked at Amy, Daria saw that her eyes were crossed, and her tongue was stuck
out. This caused Daria to chuckle just as the minister was saying something
about, "You will love her deeply," and she was reduced to pointing at
one of the other bridesmaids and saying, "It was her."
After the reception, which included many activities, such as pulling men off of
the minister after he hit on Quinn, and trying to find where the groom had fled
to, the Morgendorffers had finally gotten back into their car and were on the
way home. Daria shook her head, bemused.
Quinn looked over at her and asked, "What?"
"It's just that I just realized that for the first time, I announced
myself as gay in public, and it wasn't the central object of
conversation."
5. Episode Five
Disclaimer 2: Included in this
chapter is a excerpt from "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights,"
performed by Meat Loaf, written by Jim Steinman, I'm assuming copyright is by
Steinman or Meat Loaf or both. Once again, no infringement intended.
Daria walked into the kitchen one Friday, and saw her mother unaccustomedly
standing on a stool and reaching into the overhead cabinets. "Hiding the
cooking sherry from Dad?" she asked.
Helen smiled and shook her head. "I'm going to make some bread,
Daria," she said as she pulled out a breadmaker and set it on the counter.
Daria raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what supermarkets are for?"
Helen sighed. "The Yeagers are coming for the weekend, and I can't serve
them store-bought bread."
"Why not?"
"I haven't seen them for twenty five years, and let's just say they know a
different Helen," she smiled. "A Helen famous for her oatmeal pumpkin
seed loaf."
"And just what have you done with this Helen? I warn you, we will be
checking for shallow graves." Just then, a car horn beeped outside.
"They're here! I hope they don't think I've changed too much." Helen
quickly primped her hair and hurried outside.
"Just be yourself. That's what you've always told me," Daria said in
the tone she used when she wanted to be genuine.
"And I could kick myself for that." Helen looked like she was about
to head outside, then stopped in her tracks at Daria's non-expression. Her own
expression changed from exasperated, to pleading, to resigned. "All right,
all right. Being myself is the best thing to do. But how do I explain that I'm
in a better place to support the movement because I've worked within the
system?"
"I think you did a pretty good job, just now. But you've got all
weekend." With that, they hurried out, where two people were climbing out
of an old VW Beetle.
Quinn, who had just come outside herself, muttered to Daria, "What kind of
car is that?"
"That isn't a car, it's a time machine."
Helen rushed forward and embraced the woman. "Coyote! Willow!"
Willow, hugging Helen back, said, "Wow, Helen!"
Coyote and Jake, after exchanging an intricate handshake, were just as
enthused. "Man!" "My Man!"
They stepped back a bit, and Helen smiled. "You haven't changed a
bit."
Willow's smile was not quite as wide. "And you! Well, just look at
you!"
While they had been greeting each other, a German Shepard had come up and sat
next to Willow. "Why, even Leary is exactly the same," Helen said.
Jake squatted down. "Come here, boy! Don't you remember old Jake?"
The dog looked at him with puzzlement.
Then it hit Helen. "Wait, that can't be Leary. He'd be almost thirty by
now!"
Willow smiled. "This is Leary number three."
"We had to replace the original a couple of times," Coyote added.
Jake laughed and said, "If only you could do that with Timothy Leary, huh,
man?"
Coyote slightly narrowed his eyes and said, in a serious tone, "They're
working on it, man."
Helen stepped forward and said, "Well, these two are irreplaceable. Our
girls, Quinn and Daria." She gestured towards the girls, and Willow
approached them and took one of Daria's hands in both of hers.
"You have a very old soul," she said, looking into Daria's eyes.
Daria smiled wryly as she replied, " Nannh, it just looks mature for its
age."
As Willow returned to the other adults, Quinn leaned over to Daria and
whispered, "Is this a retro thing, or are they serious?"
Before Daria could answer, Jake said loudly, "Let's get your bags,
man!"
Coyote replied, "We travel light."
Daria sighed and said quietly, "In the head. I gotta get out of here
before I catch any more good vibes."
Quinn suddenly looked apprehensive. "Daria, you can't leave me here with
those, those... yuppies!"
"Yuppies are from the Eighties. You mean hippies. Anyway, one of us should
stay. It's a rare opportunity to learn more about Mom and Dad."
"Why would we want to do that?"
"To use against them later. Twenty bucks if you dig up some dirt."
Quinn shook her head. "Sorry, I have a date. If you're getting out of
this, so am I."
At that point Coyote called out, "Ethan! Come meet the girls!" A
good-looking teenaged boy, in black jeans, a black shirt, and with shoulder-length
hair came out of the Beetle.
Quinn turned to Daria. "You said twenty, right?"
As Daria entered what Jane referred to as "Casa Lane," they both
heard the sound of guitars down below. Daria cocked her head. "Do my ears
deceive me, or has Trent invited friends over? That's competent guitar
playing." She paused for a moment. "As a matter of fact, that's Meat
Loaf. I didn't think that that was one of his big influences."
Jane smiled and said, "Come on down, we've got a surprise for you."
Daria raised her eyebrows when Jane flipped a light switch near the door on and
off several times, but followed her, then was startled into immobility from
hearing Trent's voice:
"I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light."
Jane pulled her along, and if she had not been in the car at Alternapalooza,
she wouldn't have recognized the voice that responded:
"Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed-"
And Trent picked up the song again:
"Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let ya know
No you're never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Paradise by the dashboard light
You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely--
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
An tonight's the night..."
There was a bridge done as they made their way down the steps and found
themselves right in front of Mystic Spiral, with Jen holding a microphone, just
as she started to sing, looking right at Daria and Jane, her eyes pleading:
"Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further--!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!!!?
Will you love me forever!!!?"
Trent started to sing again. Daria, knowing the lyrics, covered her mouth to
stop the giggling from the song's perfect fit to Trent:
"Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning."
Jen replied, still looking at her friends:
"I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?"
Trent grinned, and sang again:
"Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it!!!"
Jen looked straight at Daria: "Will you love me forever?"
Trent kept on: "Let me sleep on it!!"
Jen turned to Jane, and looked straight into her eyes: "Will you love me
forever?"
Trent was going to continue, but Jen gave the "cut" sign as she
looked at her friends. "Well?"
Daria pretended not to understand. "That was great singing, Jen."
"Not funny, Daria." Jen's eyes were full of tears.
Daria looked at her best friend. "Jane? She's not just asking me, you
know. Fish or cut bait."
Jane took a breath, running her fingers through her hair. "Trent, you guys
played a whole lot better, but I need the house for the next few hours.
Capisce?"
Trent and the rest of Mystic Spiral nodded, and began gathering their things.
Jane turned to Daria and Jen, and said, "Ladies? My room," and turned
to the basement stairs.
6. Episode Five and a half
As they entered
Jane's room, Jen turned to look at them with tears in her eyes. "Listen,
if you guys don't want -" Her sentence was cut off by Daria's finger over
her lips.
"Why do you always assume we're going to leave you, Jen? We just said that
we three need to talk. And on that note," she said, looking at Jane,
"I need to call my Mom and let her know that I won't be home." She
turned and left, quickly, while the other two sat down on the bed, nervously.
Helen picked up the phone. "May I speak to the old lady of the
house?"
She smiled. "Daria, where are you?"
"Jane's. Can I stay over?" Helen caught a bit of stress in Daria's
voice.
"Is anything wrong?"
"Not - wrong. It's just going to get complicated, I think."
Helen sighed. "Well, I was hoping you would want to get to know our
friends, but I understand that sometimes you have to deal with things."
Her eyes narrowed. "You haven't gotten into a situation where you
need...protection, have you?"
She heard Daria's sigh. "No, Mom. I haven't even been that...intimate with
either of my friends, let alone someone that would require protection. We just
need to have a long talk to hash things out. And I'm sure that my old soul has
made their acquaintance in a previous life."
"Well, that does free up some space for Ethan. He can take the guest room,
and I can put Willow and Coyote in your room."
"You're going to put them in my room? You better tether them to the bed so
they don't float away." Helen laughed and hung up.
When Daria got back to Jane's room, she found both of her friends (girlfriends?)
sitting down on the bed, their heads down and looking miserable. She grabbed
the stool. set it down right next to them, and sat down. Tilting each of their
chins up with one of her hands, she looked at them. "Now, Jen's asked us
for something...I'm not sure that she's aware of exactly what she's asking. But
what I am sure is that all three of us need to tell the others just what their
feelings are." She turned to Burnout. "You started this, Jen. What
are your feelings for Jane and me?" She rubbed Jen's shoulder.
Jen took a deep breath. "I - I love you. Both of you. And I'm scared,
because everyone else I've loved, in any capacity, has gone away, one way or
another." She hung her head. "But I'm very sure that I love you as
friends, and that I'm attracted to both of you as women. I know we haven't done
anything but kiss and cuddle yet, but that's how I feel. And that song got me
thinking - I don't want to go further if everyone involved doesn't feel like
that."
Daria nodded. "I'm sure that it's no secret that I'm very attracted to
both of you. In fact, I can say that I love you both without any hesitation.
Jen," she turned toward the blonde, "you were the first to be
attracted to me while I was being myself. I love you, and I'm interested in
going further. Jane," she turned to her, "You were the first person
to accept me, warts and all, and I love you. But I know that you're struggling,
and I want our friendship more than anything else. You take your time deciding
what you need, and if that means years, that's okay." She noticed the
tears tracking down Jane's face and knelt by her. "What's wrong?"
Jane sobbed. "You two have said such beautiful things about me, and I
can't return them!" She sniffled. "I love both of you guys as
friends. I mean, you're two of the three most important people in the world to
me!" She wrapped her arms around herself. "And I've been looking at
how I look at women, but I just don't know. And you both deserve better than an
'I don't know," from me."
Daria sat up and took her in her arms, and rocked her back and forth until the
sobbing had subsided. "It's all right, Jane. I'm not sure about Jen, but I
wouldn't want you if you could lie about something like this, or if it wasn't
hard for you to be sure. We want you to take your time, however long it is. Jen
and I'll be girlfriends, and you will be more than welcome to be with us when
you are sure. Until then," Daria turned Jane's face to her gently, with
the thumb of one hand stroking along her chin, she kissed first Jane's top lip,
then her bottom, then tilted her head and gave her a deep kiss while her tongue
entered Jane's mouth. After a few moments, she drew back. "Something to
remember us by."
Jane sat, dazed, and so was unprepared when she felt Jen's lips on hers, as
well. Jen leaned back and brushed Jane's hair from her face. "Until you
can accept that you need to be with us." Then she stood up and hugged
Daria, and they shared a short kiss.
"So what happened with the song?" Daria asked Jen when they were all
seated again, this time with Daria and Jen on the bed, holding hands.
"Oh, that came from something you said, Daria," Burnout said.
"You know how you told the band that they needed to do things differently
to make it? For some strange reason they believed you, and they've been at it
every day for the past three weeks. That song was just to see how well Trent
and I could sing together - seems that someone," and she winked at Jane,
"bragged about how good a singer I was. Anyway, if they think I did as
well as I think, we're going to work on a few songs, and I'll play with them
the weekends that they play in town or close." She hugged Daria, and laid
her head on her shoulder. "And because of someone's advice about
being on time, they're playing more places, and getting more when they play. So
cool."
"Wow," murmured Daria. "Very cool." Her hand stroked Jen's
back. "So, what's on Sick, Sad World? Mom isn't expecting us back
until dinner Sunday." They all slipped to the floor and cuddled together.
It was Sunday, after dinner. The door opened and Daria, Quinn, and Ethan walked
in. Helen smiled. "Girls, I expected you for dinner. Before I officially
ground you, would you care to account for your whereabouts?"
Daria smirked. "Sure. But first, a few questions." She pulled out a
notepad. "Number one: why did you and Dad spend a night in jail in Boulder
in August, 1969?"
7. Episode Six
Daria, Jane, and
Jen were standing in line outside the Playhouse 99 movie theater when Kevin and
Brittany came up to them, with Kevin carrying a bag of groceries. "I don't
see any vegetables!" Kevin said in a sing-song voice.
"You should have my view," Daria muttered.
Jane was intrigued. "Why vegetables?"
"To throw at the screen during the big food fight?" Brittany seemed
unsure.
"What food fight?" Jen asked.
"Hey, are you thick or something? This is the Food in Film Festival,"
Kevin said proudly.
Brittany nodded. "Didn't you see the Rocky Horror Picture Show last month?
Kevin and I wore each other's underwear."
"Again?" snarked Jane.
Daria turned toward them. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think this
is an interactive event. Tonight they're showing Andre Sakarynsky's Last
Meal."
"A Russian art film from the 1930s," Jen added helpfully.
"Russian?" Kevin seemed shocked.
"Subtitles!" Brittany and Kevin chorused, before Kevin shoved the
grocery bag into Daria's arms, and they both sped away.
The girls came out of Playhouse 99 to see heavy, dark clouds covering the night
sky. Jane turned to Daria. "I'm hungry. You didn't happen to save any of
Kevin's produce, did you?" Daria shook her head, and was about to say
something when they all heard a voice in the distance.
"Daria?" Mr. O'Neill's voice carried to them.
Daria turned to Jen, whose fingers were interlaced with hers, and said,
"Uh, oh. We're about to be seen with a teacher." Turning back, she
said, "Hi, Mr. O'Neill."
"Hi, girls! I'm just so invigorated!" He took a deep breath.
"Great cinema is timeless. Couldn't that movie have been made today?"
Daria said, somewhat puzzled, "I guess, if you could find someone to
exhume the actors."
Still in hyperactive mode, Mr. O'Neill asked, "Can I give you girls a lift
home?"
"No, that's okay. We love to walk."
Jane added, "Yeah, it's a perfect night for a nice long stroll,"
right before lightning flashed and a heavy rain started coming down. Looking at
each other, they all headed to Mr. O'Neill's car.
As he headed down the road, he said, "Sometimes I think film is even more
a mirror of the times than the novel. Do you think this is because of its
greater verisimilitude? Jane?"
She replied in a louder than normal voice, "I can't really hear you back
here. Road noise. Plus, I don't know what verisimilitude means."
"What about you, Daria?"
"Let's face it. Most people would rather watch a movie than read a book.
It's fast, it's easy, and you don't have to worry about your lips moving."
Mr. O'Neill's face lit up. "That is a fabulous class assignment, Daria!
Thank you for the suggestion!"
Daria facepalmed. "Um, did I make a suggestion? Because if so, I'd like to
withdraw it."
"So, as an exercise in living literature, you'll all be making your own
movies. We have Daria to thank for that exciting suggestion." Mr. O'Neill
was just finishing up.
"There's that word again," Daria grumbled.
Jake was sitting at the table with Daria, Jen, and Jane. "Remember, this
is a precious, precise, and very, very costly instrument. It's not the sort of
thing one ordinarily lends a teenager," he said.
"We'll be careful," Daria assured him.
"I explained to you about the three focus modes and the depth of field
override and the auto-sleep feature."
"I'm about to go into auto-sleep mode, myself."
"Okay, Daria. Just... try not to use it too much. And be safe on your way
into Washington," he said.
"So, we're going to D.C., huh?" Trent said as he pulled the blue car
onto the highway.
"Yup," was all that Jane said from next to him.
Behind him, her arm around Jen, who had laid her head on her shoulder, Daria
said, "The objective was to make a movie that would communicate more, or
at least more in less time, than just reading the words. What that means, is
symbols. And where is the greatest density of symbols anywhere close to here?
The National Mall in D.C." She kissed the top of Burnout's head. "We
should be able to convey, in a few words and fewer images, what most kids would
not last to read through."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Oh, wow, that's a really big guy!"
"...It's all stone? No metal reinforcement?
"...Look at all the names."
"...It's like they're all walking in the fog..."
"...My God, I'd like to do sculpture that good, some day. Look at them
carrying him."
"...And they never stop?"
After they got most of their footage, they took a break and ate at a nearby
restaurant called Ceiba, enjoying the Hispanic/seafood blend, while watching
for famous politicians. Finally, they got up and went to the national archives,
taking pictures of the founding documents of the country. By that time it was
early afternoon, and so they headed home.
While they were doing the editing, Jane turned to Daria and said, "Are you
sure you want to do it this way, amiga? You know that they're going to
expect something silly, or maybe something morbid."
Jen said, "Yeah, Jane, they do. But this is the equivalent of hitting them
over the head with an aluminum baseball bat. These symbols are that basic for
us."
Daria added, "I'm sure, Jane. Like Jen said, they should get it. And you
know what? If they don't if they can't understand what these things mean?
Screw'em."
Jane took a breath and simply said, "I'm with you, no matter what."
Just after Jodie's movie detailing a labor strike at a local supermarket, Mr.
O'Neill announced Daria's group's movie. Before he could push play, the door
opened and Mr. DeMartino walked in.
"Well, hello, Anthony. Why are you here?" the flabbergasted Language
Arts teacher asked.
"Ms. MORGENdorffer suggested that I would FIND something of INterest if I
dropped in toDAY, Timothy." The History teacher found a seat while Mr.
O'Neill pressed play.
The screen came up with the title, "Symbols of Our Nation." As the
title cleared, the picture faded into a view of a piece of paper. "This is
the Declaration of Independence," Jen's voice came over the television
speakers. "With this document, less than a hundred men put their own lives
at risk because they thought it was more important that we be able to control
what happened to us, than whether they lived or died."
The camera moved to the side. "This is the first page of the United States
Constitution. This document, this agreement among Americans," Daria's
voice came out in less then her normal monotone, "said that no one person
or group of people was completely in control of everything. If someone wanted
to get things done, they had to work together with others."
Jane's voice followed. "These documents gave us the rules to get along, to
protect the minority while slowly changing if the majority found it right. But
that's all they would be, words, if people had not stepped up and protected our
country and our way of doing things. And they did, from the very start. To
quote a much better wordsmith than I, 'All gave some. Some gave all."
The video showed Daria standing in front of a stone wall. "The hero of the
Revolutionary War was President Washington. After he passed away, his
countrymen discussed and after many years, decided on this." The camera
zoomed out until Daria was just a dot in the middle, and both edges could be
seen. When it reached that point, it slowly tilted up until, finally, the
pointed top could be seen. "The Washington Monument is five hundred
fifty-five feet, five and one-eighth inches tall. It is the tallest all-stone
structure, and the tallest obelisk extant. This was the least, they felt, that
they could do to acknowledge the father of our country."
After the murmurs had died down, another picture came on the screen, this one
showing Jane standing between the legs of the Lincoln Memorial. "Big White
Guy!" exclaimed Kevin. Everyone, including Brittany, waved at him to
shush.
"When the nation was just under a hundred years old, many people felt that
it was time to end the compromises that had been made to bring us forth as a
country, not just a group of squabbling states. Unfortunately, many people
disagreed. Our leader, our president at the time was a man dedicated not only
to bringing our nation through the crisis intact, but with assuring the
equality of all the people, not just those who had been fortunate enough to be
born with pale skin. He managed this, even though he himself did not make it to
the end of the conflict. When the dust had settled, well, see for
yourself." The camera zoomed back, showing the entire sculpture of
Lincoln, and the various engravings around him.
"In the late twentieth century, we have paid tribute to the passing of
those who have protected us in war, such as in World War II," Jen said, as
the camera passed her and the pool behind her to focus on a wall covered with
stars.
"Aren't there only supposed to be fifty stars?" Brittany asked.
As the camera focused on the golden stars, Jen continued. "Each of these
stars represents a hundred American lives lost during World War II. There are
more than four thousand of them."
The murmuring quieted, as the scene changed. There appeared to be soldiers
walking through rough terrain, and reflected in the marble of a wall, where
other faces were etched. Daria walked near to the camera and said, "This
is the Korean War memorial. It is rich in symbolism, but can be best summed up
by its dedication - 'Our nation honors her sons and daughters who answered the
call to defend a country they never knew and a people they never met.'"
She walked over to several plaques. "These tell the hard cost of putting
ourselves out in the world. Dead — United States: 54,246, United Nations:
628,833. Wounded — United States: 103,284, United Nations: 1,064,453. This is
over a three year period, and my grandfather was one of them. Captured — United
States: 7,140, United Nations: 92,970. And finally, Missing — United States:
8,177, United Nations: 470,267. This is the price we paid, and paid gladly, to
keep others free."
Jane's voice came over a blacked-out spot in the tape. "Now we come to the
last finished war this century." The darkness dissolved, showing Jane
standing in front of a black wall, with what appeared to be writing on it.
Kevin snorted. "Daria must've messed up! That's just a wall!" He was
extremely surprised when he felt Mr. DeMartino's hand grab his collar and pull
him until he was face-to-face with him.
"Kevin," and Mr. DeMartino's voice was eerily calm, containing none
of the excitation that normally punctuated his sentences, "Do you wish to
see tomorrow?" All Kevin could do was nod his head. "Then I suggest
to you that you keep your mouth shut until you know what you're talking about!
That wall is the Vietnam Memorial, and that writing contains the name of every
service member that was killed or missing in action during the conflict. I have
some very good friends whose names are on that 'just a wall.'" He looked
deeply into Kevin's eyes. "Do you understand?" he asked with a
dangerous affability.
Kevin stuttered out a quiet, "Y-yes, Mr. DeMartino," and sat back
down. During this time, the film had advanced to the point where Jennifer was
standing in front of another statue, this one of several women holding an
apparently wounded soldier. "This is the Vietnam Women's Memorial,"
Jen said on the tape. "It is here for the thousands of women who served,
many of whom died, in the Vietnam War. Many of these women served in combat
conditions, just as their male counterparts did."
"Finally," Jane said, "We're here showing the tomb of the
unknown soldier." She gestured behind her. "In all of these
conflicts, there have been American bodies that have not been identified. One
is selected from each war, and they are interred as our honored dead." She
pointed to the guards that walked the path. "These tombs have been guarded
and protected twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year,
constantly since July 2, 1937. Nothing has stopped them." Daria and
Jen came up on either side of her.
"You may be asking yourself why we made this movie. We did it to acquaint
you with some of the most prominent symbols of our country, and what lengths we
will go to accomplish what we think is right," Daria said.
"We did it so that you can be assured that there are people who will give
everything to protect you and your family," Jen added.
"And we did it to make you aware of the consequences of your actions when
you insist on sending our military places, to accomplish your goals," Jane
finished.
"Taps," began to play, as the scene faded to black.
8. Episode Seven
A/N: Most of the next
few eps are going to be a little bit "off," as the premise for the
original ep is no longer extant,, and it's not the right time for working with
the new relationships. Bear with me, if you would.
Daria approached her locker, only to find that some aspiring young scholar at
Lawndale High had seen fit to remind her of her sexual orientation. Combining
the misspelling of the word as "dike," with the smiley-face to dot
the i, led Daria to believe that the vandal belonged to the Cheerleading squad.
She said nothing of this, however, as she alerted Ms. Li and waited while the
security guards took pictures and tested for evidence.
"Why are you asking for security guards over such a minor matter, Ms.
Morgendorffer?" Ms. Li asked, while they watched the men work.
"Well, honestly, it's not for this. I've got enough acetone and polish
remover to take care of a few things like this." She ran her hand through
her hair. "But everything I've seen says that stuff that starts out like
this, never stays that way. It's going to likely get worse, and I want to make
sure that everything is documented when it comes to a head."
Ms. Li nodded. "You understand that you could have avoided all of this if
you hadn't 'come out,' as it were, so publicly."
"I hadn't intended to come out at all, in high school." Daria looked
over at Ms. Li. "But circumstances made me come out to my parents, and
after that, it was a little of, 'You can't be a little pregnant,' and a little
of..." her voice trailed off, then picked up again. "You seem to be
the right age. Did your parents tell you about the War Interment camps in World
War II?" Ms Li nodded. "Even if it meant that you'd have to go to one
of those places, would you deny that you were of Korean descent? Would you deny
something that basic to who you are?" Seeing Ms. Li's head shake, she went
on, "Neither could I. I guess if it meant life and death, maybe, but I'm
not sure, even then..." She was about to continue when one of the security
men came up to them.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but our camera doesn't seem to be working."
"Oh, bother," Ms. Li said, then tapped her chin. "I think I have
a solution." She looked back at the man. "Go get Mr. DeWitt-Clinton,
and have him bring his camera with him."
In a few minutes, a small blond boy with a large camera came up to them.
"Hi, Ms. Li," he said. "How can I help you?"
"You can take a picture of that locker and develop it for me,
quickly."
"No problem, Ms. Li, but this camera isn't film, it's digital. I'll print
out a picture from it, and we can all sign that it's a true copy." He
focused and took a few pictures with different settings, then said, "That
should do it." Puzzled, he looked up. "Why am I taking pictures of
this locker?" he asked.
"To preserve evidence of a hate crime against Ms. Morgendorffer, here.
She'll inform you." Ms. Li saw that the group was nearly finished. With a
final, "Drop the pictures off at the office when you're finished,"
she turned and left.
"Well?" he asked in a rather squeaky voice. "I haven't really
heard of hate crimes. Wouldn't a crime be a crime? Of course, I've been
home-schooled, and I just got into LHS this semester."
Daria took a breath, and sighed. "Look, what your name?"
"Ted."
"Look, Ted, through a series of incidents that I don't really want to go
through right now, the great majority of the school found out that I was gay a
week or so ago, and this -" she motioned at the graffiti on her locker,
"is the first action by a person who doesn't want to show themself. It's
likely to get worse, which is why I'm documenting it now." She looked back
at him. "A hate crime is a crime made more heinous due to the fact that
the victim is targeted due to their membership in a protected class, such as
women, or blacks, or, in my case, because I'm gay."
"Umm, why would anyone care if you're happy and vivacious?"
Daria gave him a look. "Wow, you really have been home-schooled." She
shook her head. "Gay is a slang term that means lesbian or homosexual,
depending on who it's referring to. They don't like me because I'm emotionally
and sexually attracted to women."
Ted's jaw dropped. "You...you...But how would you reproduce?"
Her eyes narrowing, she said, "It would take a lot of special equipment
and money, but we could do it. It's not the point though. Two thousand years
ago, when there were less than a billion people world-wide, there might have
been a reason to make a nation great by over-producing your neighbors. Now,
though? Nobody cares if a couple produces a child or not. In fact, for most
people, it's better if they don't. It'll be seven billion people in just a few
years."
They reached the photo printer, and Ted started printing the pictures. Ted had
his jaw set when Daria looked at him. "Listen, you don't have to agree
with who I am. But does that entitle idiots to target me for their hatred, just
because of feelings that the creator, whoever he or she is, made me to have?
Because, I'll tell you, I've seen the average lifestyles of gay people.
Definitely not my cup of tea."
He brought out the pictures, and signed along the edge of the photo, and again
on the back. Handing them to her, he said, "But couldn't you not act on
those feelings?"
Daria flatly said, "Listen, buddy, you've got blonde hair. You can dye it
a different color, right?"
"You can?"
"Trust me, you can. But even if you do, you have to keep your roots dealt
with, and after a while, you have to redo the whole thing, and even if you do
that, if someone sees you naked, they'll know...in the end, it's a lot of work
to convince people that you're not what's going to show through eventually, anyway."
She ran her fingers through her hair. "I decided long ago that, if
circumstances made me have to invest an active effort to hide who I was, I
wouldn't." She looked at him again, and held out her hand. "Hi, I'm
Daria Morgendorffer, and I'm a lesbian."
Much more gingerly, he took it. "I'm, um, I'm Ted DeWitt-Clinton, and I'm
not."
"Pleased to meet you, Ted. Would you like to meet my girlfriend?"
"Um...no, I've got class soon, and Ms. Li's pass is only good for this
one."
"Like, wow," Sandi said as she and Tiffany ducked back behind a
corner before Daria could see them.
"Yeah, wooow." Tiffany looked at Sandi. "Wow for what?"
"Someone outside the CCC willing to take on little Miss Perfect's sister.
Perhaps we could, like, ally forces or something."
"Ooooh." Tiffany pursed her lips. "What forces do we have?"
9. Episode Eight
A/N: There is an
intentional misspelling of the word, "dyke," in the text. Stay cool
about it.
Daria was in study hall, watching Ms. Barch harass a boy, once again. This time,
it was Mack, and she was making him write lines on the chalkboard. Despite her
status as one of the privileged class, Daria sometimes wondered when Ms. Barch
was going to get the return on all the karma she was handing out.
Brittany showed her her drawing of flowers, and as she was turned around, saw
the title of Daria's book. "The Tell-Tale Heart!" she quietly
squeaked. "I love romance novels!"
"Yeah, nothing says 'be mine' like a pounding heart beneath a
floorboard," Daria said, agreeably.
Brittany then turned in her seat to show Jodie her picture. As Jodie was about
to comment, the door burst open, with Ms. Li coming through the door.
"Attention, young people. I have an exciting announcement. Grove Hills,
the school for gifted and outstanding students, has issued invitations to
several of our students to visit its campus. And among those so honored are:
Ms. Morgendorffer and Ms. Landon." She smiled as she indicated the two
girls.
Amidst the very light applause, Jane muttered, "I knew those straight Cs
in math would pay off some day."
When she got home, Jake was trying to pull a plate out of the oven with his
bare hands. "Gah! Damn plate!" But then he turned and smiled at her.
"Hey, mom told me about Grove Hills. That's great, kiddo!"
Daria just shrugged. "Yeah. I'm tired of being at a school where the kids
just think they're cooler than me. I want to go to one where they think they're
smarter than me also. And let's not forget I'd likely have to go back in the
closet if I did go there."
Helen came in and hugged her. "Daria, I'm so proud of you, honey. Grove
Hills. The friends you make there could really launch your career."
Daria rolled her eyes and snarked, "And why study when you can
network?"
Helen frowned. "It's just a visit. Daria."
"That's what they told J.F.K." Daria said, then sighed. "As long
as you understand that there's about a ninety percent chance of my turning this
down. I've already done the fitting in that I need to, here. And besides, Jane
and Jen are at Lawndale."
"Then it's settled. We're going to Grove Hills this weekend."
"That place where they fence in all the geeks? Why do I have to go? That's
not fair!" Quinn had just walked into the room.
Helen looked up at Quinn. "Quinn, I'm afraid siblings aren't invited.
You're staying home."
"You mean the whole family gets to go without me? That's not fair!"
Quinn grinned and winked at Daria, who rolled her eyes at the antics.
"Actually, this might be a good way to show how much you've matured,
Sis," Daria said to her suddenly shocked sibling. "I'm pretty sure
that you can look after yourself at fifteen, and weren't you going to have
Stacy over to figure out what you were doing for the Prom?"
"Daria, that's a wonderful idea!" Helen turned to Quinn. "Stacy
is allowed over, but no parties. If we find everything the way we left
it, your privileges will be expanded. But if you abuse our trust in
you..." her voice trailed off.
"I'll be like Rapunzel, only able to get in or out using my hair, and I'll
have time enough to grow it that long, too."
Helen smiled. "I'm so glad that I have two very intelligent
daughters."
Daria and Jodie were standing in the Morgendorffer driveway, waiting for
Daria's parents to come out. "Thanks for the ride. My parents will meet us
up there after the new members' brunch at their club. My father's been on the
waiting list for three years."
Daria nodded. "Remember, no matter what happens on this ride you've
already waived your right to sue me for confining you with lunatics."
Jodie nodded back. "Agreed. But," and there was a twinkle in her eye
as she said this, "A little bird told me that you're a lady's lady,
Daria." She dipped her head slightly reached up with her forefinger and
ran it down Daria's arm, while saying in a pouting voice, "Why didn't you
let me know? We could have had so much fun, I could have been your chocolate
surprise!"
Daria blushed beet red. "Um, I mean, uh, I'm sorry, Jodie, I'm very
flattered, but I'm taken and..." she broke off as she saw Jodie bent over,
one hand on the car, laughing heartily. She straightened herself, crossed her
arms, and said, "I hate you."
Jodie looked up and said, "Gotcha!" while pointing at Daria, and
after a few more chuckles, settled down. "I'm more than happy with Mack,
Daria."
Daria muttered something that even Jodie couldn't hear most of, ending with her
looking up and finishing with, "...hours of amusement." She shook her
head and said, in a serious voice, "I heard that you guys dealt with that
cheerleader. Thank you."
Jodie smiled. "It was nothing. For once, Brittany was a help." She
leaned close. "I think that the girl wasn't straight herself, and was
protesting too much, but she'll stop now." Daria nodded as her parents
came out of the house and they all got into the car.
Several minutes into the ride, Helen asked, "So, Jodie, do you belong to
any clubs?"
Daria interjected, "You don't have to answer that."
With a small smile, Jodie answered. "I'm president of the French Club,
vice president of Student Council, editor of yearbook, and I'm also on the
tennis team."
Jake asked, "Daria, why aren't you on the tennis team?"
Daria raised her eyebrow and said, "Because it's classified as a
sport?"
"Speaking of sports, Jodie, ..." Helen trailed off.
Jake picked up the slack. "So, Jodie, got a fella?"
"Yeah, his name's Michael. But everyone calls him Mack." At that
point they made the final turn before the grounds, and had their first sight of
the buildings.
Jake gaped. "Wow!"
Daria snarked, "Should we go to the main building, or just apply for jobs
in the stables?"
Quinn and Stacy had just finished their late breakfast and were preparing to do
their yoga in the living room, when Stacy glanced out the window and saw a
somewhat older, blonde boy, plant a sign in the ground between the sidewalk and
the street. She grabbed Quinn's shoulder and pointed. "Look," she
said. The sign was now up, above the boy's head, and it read, "Get the
Dikes OUT of the Neighborhood." Stacy was about to run out, but
Quinn held her back. "Let's get some back-up, first," and she was
quickly on the phone to Jane.
About fifteen minutes later, Jane and Jen walked up to the sign. "What's
all of this about?" Jane asked. Ted pulled out a couple of pamphlets, and
handed one to each of the girls. Jane glanced at hers. How to Say Nay to Gay
God's Way. As she was about to comment on this, Ted started speaking.
"I have good information that one of the girls that lives here is a dyke.
Relationships must be constructed so that there is reproductive issue from
them." He didn't notice Quinn and Stacy coming out of the house toward the
group. "This is a non-violent way of getting them out of the
community."
"And why do you think that the community wants to get rid of her?"
Stacy said in a shrill voice as she stamped up to the boy.
Jen pulled out her lockblade and began cleaning her nails. "Guess the
community really doesn't want her gone. That's odd. Neither do I."
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Maybe that's because you're her girlfriend?"
Jen blushed slightly. "Oh, right."
Jane looked at Ted and shrugged. "Without getting into the legalities of
this, like the fact that your sign's on private property and you haven't gotten
a protest permit, what made you think that people want Daria out?"
Ted gaped slightly. "But the sidewalk is public -" was as far as he
got before he was cut off by Jane.
"Not quite, and I said the sign, not the sidewalk. Will you answer
me?"
Ted sighed. "Well, there was the protest on this Daria's locker, and then
I talked with a couple girls who said that everyone wanted her gone, they just
couldn't do it within the rules. And then..."
Stacy held her hand up. "A couple girls? Would this possibly be a brunette
and an Asian girl, both looking like there's not that much happening in their
heads?"
"You could describe them like that."
"Great." Everyone saw Quinn standing, arms akimbo. "Those two
were trying to stir up trouble for my sister, because they couldn't deal with
how Stacy and I," and she pointed to Stacy and herself, "left their
little club when they couldn't control us."
The girls were met at the door by a blonde girl. "Hello, welcome to Grove
Hills. I'm Marina."
The girls gave their names, and they were escorted inside. Once there, Marina
brought them up to three students. "Jodie, Daria. I'd like you to meet
Lara, Graham and Cassidy."
Cassidy nodded, "What's up?"
Lara held out her hand for the girls to shake. "Hi, nice to meet
you."
Marina smiled. "Lara, why don't you fill Jodie and Daria in on the many
advantages of a Grove Hills education?"
Lara rolled her eyes. "Well, number one: you only have to put up with
shrill recruiters at phony functions like this."
Marina frowned, said, "Um, excuse me," and left.
Cassidy grinned. "And you're not surrounded by nearly as many stupid
people as you would be at home."
Graham piped in, "Starting with your parents." Everyone laughed a bit
at that.
A bit later, they were watching the student film. "At Grove Hills, you can
contemplate Proust in our spacious dorm rooms," it droned, "converse
in Latin over a delicious meal..."
"...Dump bodies into the river from our scenic bell tower," whispered
Daria, which caused Jodie to giggle and both of them to be shushed.
"...So all aboard to Grove Hills, your first station on the track to
wisdom." The film ended and the lights came up.
"I hope everyone enjoyed our little film." Marina seemed pleased.
"Great. I think a super way to start this meet and greet session would be
to tell a little about our goals in life. Who'd like to start?" She saw
Jodie raise her hand.
"Well, someday I'd like to own my own business. Maybe a consulting firm
geared toward minority start-ups."
Marina smiled. "Excellent! Daria? What about your goal?"
Daria's eyes narrowed. "I don't have any."
"Oh, come, Daria. You must have some goal."
Daria shook her head. "My goal is not to wake up at 40 with the bitter
realization that I've wasted my life in a job I hate because I was forced to
decide on a career in my teens."
"So you're saying that most people just don't care whether a d-" Ted
stopped when Stacy raised her fist. "- A gay woman lives around them or
not, as long as they, personally, aren't bothered?"
"Yeah," Jane said, "Most times, things like that are all about
who can control people by their rules." She buffed her fingers.
"We're not about controlling."
Ted picked his sign up. "I think I'll talk to my parents." He turned
and headed towards the house with the corn in the front yard.
As he was trudging off, Stacy yelled, "Hey, k-," "Hey,
Ted!"
He turned around, and she handed him his pack of pamphlets. "You
forgot'em," she said.
Daria and Jodie were talking to the three students again, this time listening
to Lara. "They say high school's supposed to be the happiest time of your
life."
Daria snorted. "Only if your life is extremely short."
Graham smiled at her. "Exactly. You're funny."
Jodie nudged Daria. "See what happens when you give people a chance?"
Graham continued. "Our happiest years will begin when we make our first
million. I can't wait to stroll down the Riviera with a model on each
arm."
Daria raised her eyebrow. "Gee, that's interesting. I guess you can be
intellectually gifted and still be morally bankrupt."
Graham laughed, and said, "I certainly hope so."
The three turned as someone else entered the dining room. Lara gasped.
"Oh, my God."
Graham snorted. "I can't believe David has the nerve to show up."
"Who does he think he is?"
Jodie asked, puzzled, "What did he do? Cheat on a test?"
Cassidy shook his head. "Worse. We got our S.A.T. scores back today.
David's were only in the 90th percentile. Idiot."
"I just can't hang out with him any more. He's too... banal." Lara
looked down.
Graham said, "And he used to be so interesting."
Daria rolled her eyes. "Thank God for standardized tests. Otherwise you'd
never know who your real friends are."
"Right. I mean... amusing," Graham stumbled.
Daria looked at Jodie. "See what happens when you give people a
chance?" she said, then began walking away.
"Daria...! Hey, guys, wait up." Jodie went after Daria.
Once more they were talking to the three Grove Hills students.
"Before I came here I was an intellectual outcast. They made fun of me for
quoting Ayn Rand," Lara said.
"Actually, I think she's pretty disturbing..." Jodie replied
hesitantly, when Graham interrupted her.
"That's not the point. The point is that you know who she is, and that at
Grove Hills, you can discuss her with people like us, instead of idiots and
fools and a quarterback who tells the whole school you shower in a towel. I'd
like to see a quarterback write a paper on Mao."
Jodie gamely tried to roll with the change of subject. "I think the
Cultural Revolution is..." when Graham interrupted her again.
"You have an awful lot to say for someone who doesn't even go to this
school yet."
Jodie raised her eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Graham gave out an oily smile. "It means why don't we see whether you get
in to Grove Hills before we start listening to your opinions."
"Hey! Just because some jock made you feel like the loser you are, don't
take it out on me."
Graham had a shocked expression. "I'm not a loser! I have a 165
I.Q.!"
Jodie made a dismissing motion. "Who cares? You're still boring and
miserable! Try taking your head out of your butt for once and opening up your
myopic little eyes. Or doesn't your 165 I.Q. make you smart enough to see the
way you really are?" And with that, she walked outside.
Graham acted incensed. "I'll make sure you never set foot in this school
again!"
Daria turned to him and gave out a snort. "That's a relief. For a minute
there I thought you were going to threaten us." And she turned and
followed Jodie.
Outside, they both sat on a small ledge. "Admit it. That felt good,"
Daria said as she bumped shoulders with Jodie.
"Well, a little. Okay, a lot."
Daria gave her a smile. "Busting on jerks like Graham is one of life's few
pleasures. You should try it more often."
"Oh, shut up."
"Um, good start," Daria snarked.
Jodie looked over at Daria. "You realize your negative approach to
everything is self-defeating, right?"
"Well, it's good to know there's someone that I can defeat."
"I mean, you may spare yourself some pain by cutting everyone off, but you
miss out on a lot of good stuff, too."
Daria looked at Jodie. "What you said may have had some significance a few
months ago, Jodie. But right now, I have a girlfriend, I have a best friend. I
have opened myself to new experiences. But I refuse to stand in front of jerks
like that and just take it."
Jodie nodded. "I hope you'll understand what works for me now. At home,
I'm Jodie. I can say or do whatever feels right. But at school, I'm the Queen
of the Negroes. The perfect African-American teen. The role model for all of
the other African-American teens at Lawndale. Oops! Where'd they go? Believe
me, I'd like to be more like you."
"Well, I have to admit, there are times when I'd like to be more like
you."
"Really?" Jodie's eyebrows rose.
"I'm not saying all the time," Daria said with a wry smile.
"So, Lawndale or Grove Hills?"
Daria considered for all of two seconds. "I'm sticking with Lawndale. If I
came here, I'd end up poisoning the sloppy joe mix."
"Yeah, you're right. I'm pushed to the breaking point being Miss Model
Student at Lawndale. A year here might kill me." The two girls slumped against
the wall of the building.
10. Episode Nine
Daria and Jane
stood in shock, their faces turned toward the stage where Mystic Spiral and
Jen, all in t-shirts that Jane had designed, and standing in front of a
re-designed banner, started with an instrumental part that was more than
competent - it was good. Despite hearing bits and pieces over the time, Daria
was still shocked that they had come so far, so fast. "There must've been
some talent in there to start with," she said to herself.
And then the lyrics began. Jen had brought them back to Daria, and the two of
them had gone over ways to make them better and still acceptable to Trent and
the guys. Several times they had slipped something through on the basis of,
"changing it to make it work with two leads." Hearing them now, it
just...worked.
Trent started: "I'm glad you're happy watching my pain, cut-ting
circles on my soul again."
Jen hopped in: "We had no love scene but you've cut to the chase,
you're chopping off my nose to spite your face."
Jen: "Ow, my nose!"
Trent: "Ow, my face!"
Then the band: "Ow, my nose! Ow, my face! Ow..." as the song
finished.
Daria and Jane looked at each other, then Daria went into her purse and pulled
out her cell phone. Quickly walking away from the stage before the next number
started, she dialed her mom's cell number.
"Mom? Yes, it's me. Listen, you need to come down to the Zon, right now.
Why?" Daria shook her head, then noticed the band about to play their next
song. "Because Trent's band is playing...this!" And with that, she
held her hand up and pointed her phone in the direction of the stage. She held
it there for the next three minutes, and when the song was done, she pulled it
back down and glanced at it, but her mother had already hung up. She walked back
to Jane.
"Where'd you go off to?"
Daria gave a crooked smile. "Jane, the band is good. Really good. But we
know these guys. None of them are good at business. So I gave my parents a
call, so that they can help before someone takes the guys for a ride."
Jane nodded. "I guess I can see that. How will the guys react,
though?"
"Heck if I know," Daria said in her usual monotone.
Helen and Jake arrived just as Mystik Spiral was wrapping up its second set.
Helen came and said into Daria's ear, "Well, they're no Chicago, but
they're sure a lot better than a dump like this usually has."
Daria nodded, then waved her arm. "Um, Mom?" She watched as Helen's
head swiveled toward her. "I...uh, may not have told them that you're
coming, or why."
Helen sighed. "Oh, Daria." She leaned close again. "Bring them
to the Pizza King, we'll be there, and it's our treat."
Helen sat and gazed over the ten empty pizza platters that had been full less
than twenty minutes ago, a small smile came to her face. She quickly squashed
it, and her normal lawyer/mother expression was back up. "Trent," she
said in a slightly raised voice, "I'm sure you are wondering why I - we
asked you to come here."
"Uh - yeah," he replied, before Jane elbowed him in the ribs. "I
mean, thanks for the pies and all, but what's going on?"
"Trent, I don't want to be rude, but from everything that I heard, your
band at the time we came to Lawndale had a lot of growth opportunities."
At the puzzled looks she got, she waved her hand. "I'm sorry, that was
lawyer- and consultant-speak for 'it was bad.'" A few chuckles rolled
around the room.
"That's cool, we were." said Trent with a smile.
Helen smiled back. "There were two reasons that you got gigs. The first is
that you were there, and even bad live music is better than no live music,
especially at dives like the Zon or McGrundy's, where most of the audience is
high as a kite, any way. The second is that you played incredibly cheap.
Twenty-five bucks a piece and all the draft you can drink a night is nothing to
a bar owner. It made up for the sound you guys had, and the haphazard way you
had of showing up.
"But now Daria has told me things have changed, and after hearing you, I
agree." Helen stood up and put her hands on the back of her chair.
"You're already at the point where you can now make a decent living off
your music, should that be all you want, but I suspect that you haven't
finished getting better. Pretty soon, you're going to have deals and offers
pushed at you. Some will be honest, some will be...not. Some of the honest ones
will benefit you, and some won't."
She looked at Trent. "I'm involved right now for several reasons, the most
direct that my daughter has a small interest due to her contributions on your
lyrics, the re-writes for Jennifer here. Jennifer herself is another reason, as
she and Daria are- "She looked over to Daria, who nodded,
"girlfriends, and I don't wish for her to be taken advantage of. Jane's
Daria's best friend, and you're part of her support group, and she cares deeply
about her. Now-" Helen was about to go further when she saw Daria's hand
go up. "Yes, Daria?"
"Hold on a second, Mom." Daria turned to where Trent, Jesse, and the
rest of the band were sitting, slightly dazed. "Trent?"
"Yeah, Daria?"
"Do you remember when we all went to Alternapalooza?" Trent nodded.
Daria continued. "You remember all the stuff we talked about, choosing
what you wouldn't sell out about, and what you'd compromise on to get things
done?"
"Yeah. We put a lot of that into practice."
"I know. I can hear the difference. And Jen is always happy after a
practice." She took off her glasses, rubbed the lenses, and put them back
on. "But what this is, is the most important part of what we talked about
- saying who's in Mystic Spiral, and what it will and won't do to get where you
guys want to be. That's why my mom's here. She'll help you set things up for
yourself legally, so that when real money comes in, you'll know what happens to
it, and you won't have to depend on Jesse handing it out before you go home.
You'll also know what each of you can do when you have fights.
"My Dad's here, too. Trent, you guys are musicians, and good ones. But
what happens the first time someone offers you twice as much if you'll accept
net 30? I know you'd flip a coin. I couldn't tell you, because I'm not into
business. My dad could, though. And he knows people and ways to keep your taxes
down, and how to deal with the businesspeople that you won't want to."
Jake stood up, reached out his hand, and shook Trent's. "That's a pretty
simplistic description of what I do, but Daria got most of it."
Helen cleared her throat. "We're here because Daria asked us, and because
we want to protect the girls. For the moment, what we would ask is a token
amount, enough to say that you as a band hired us, and to cover incidental
expenses. As you become more successful, our cost would grow, eventually
reaching ten percent of your gross, which you wouldn't feel."
The bald man spoke up. "We wouldn't feel ten percent? Why wouldn't
we?"
Daria whispered into her mother's ear, and Helen nodded, then spoke. "Max,
is it?" He nodded. "You wouldn't notice because each time we moved to
a bigger cut, and we would tell you, we would have got you a new contract or
set of contracts that paid you more even with the higher percentage. Just as a
for instance, why would you care that we now got seven percent instead of five,
when you now get $900 a week instead of $700, for the same work?"
She looked around. "So that's what we can offer. Because of our family
connections, I think this is the lowest cost offer you'll get from people that
you can trust to work on your behalf, and who are reasonably competent at
it." She took two business cards out of her suit, and handed them to
Daria, who handed them to Trent. "I know it's been a long night, and you
want to talk amongst yourselves. You can reach us at either of our offices, or
of course Daria can let us know. It's been a pleasure meeting you." With
that, she and Jake stood, shook everybody's hand, and left.
Once the door closed behind them, bedlam erupted in the private room. It lasted
about five minutes, at which point Jane whistled loudly, then yelled,
"Hey!" at the top of her lungs. In the ensuing quiet, she said,
"All right! one at a time, would you say what you've got to say?" She
pointed at her brother. "Trent."
He gave Daria an unfriendly look. "I wanted to ask Daria what was the deal
about her 'interest.'"
Daria shrugged her shoulders. "I was helping Jen with the re-writes to
help them work better, Mom asked what we were doing, I told her. She's a
lawyer." She took a breath. "At this point, I'd be satisfied with, as
they say, a 'token payment,' and my name as one of the authors of the lyrics.
You know, Lyrics - Trent Lane, Jennifer Burns, and Daria Morgendorffer."
Trent's voice was even rougher than usual. "We'll talk about it."
Jane pointed to the drummer next. "Max?"
"Why do we have to do all of this? I thought we were criminales,
not working for the man!"
Jane snorted. "Yeah. Criminales. You wouldn't be working for them,
idiot. They'd be working for you." She pointed again. "Nick?"
"I was just wondering how this'd affect my child support payments."
There was silence for a few moments, then Trent said, "Depends on whether
we get better gigs or not. If we do, I guess that the setup they want would let
you have them take care of it. If not, no effect." He looked up at Daria.
"Wow, Daria, what happened to you?"
Daria raised an eyebrow. "Huh?" Jane took a mirror from out of one of
her pockets and showed her. "Ewww."
Jane looked at her brother and his band, and said, "You guys stay here and
decide what you want. I'll get her home." When Jen got up to follow them,
Jane shook her head. "Thanks for the offer, Jen, but you're part of the band.
You need to put in your two cents." Jen sat down with a slight pout while
Jane guided Daria out of the restaurant.
When they entered the Morgendorffer house, Helen and Jake looked shocked.
"What is that, Daria?"
Daria shook her head. "I don't know, it just came up when we were talking
after you left."
Helen held her hand to Daria's forehead. "Hmm. You feel a little warm...If
you still look like this in the morning, we'll take you to the doctor's."
"All right. Good night," Daria turned and trudged up the stairs.
Jane smiled at the Morgendorffers. "Thanks for your offer, Mrs. M, Mr.
M."
Helen smiled back. "It's no problem, Jane." Her smile fell away.
"Do you think that they'll accept our offer?"
"They were still discussing it when I left, but I think that they will.
They know you're pretty hardcore when your family's concerned."
"That we are." A confused look passed over Helen's face. "Did I
mis-speak when I said that you were Daria's best friend? I didn't know there
was anything more, but-"
Jane sat down and ran her fingers through her hair. "Right now, I'm
definitely her best friend, and she's mine. That's not going to change."
She looked up. "But a while back, an...open ended offer, let's say, was
given to me. I haven't decided whether to take the offer." She crossed her
arms over her chest and rocked slightly back and forth, then looked up. "I
love your daughter, Mrs. M., of that I'm sure. Whether it's as a friend, or
something more, we're working that out. But I'm not going to inflict the pain of
breaking up on her, so something like that won't happen until I'm sure."
Helen's voice was soft. "And Jennifer?"
"Another reason to not jump in until I'm sure. They say that there's room
for me, but am I worth the risk?" Jane shook her head. "I can at
least spare them the pain from it ending because of that."
Helen sat down next to Jane and hugged her from the side, rocking her slightly.
"Oh, Jane. I think, as long as all of you are honest with yourselves and
about your feelings, it'll all work out all right." Jane snorted.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," said Jane, "But you just said, almost word-for-word,
what I told Daria the morning before she came out to you."
Daria, Jen, and Jane were at their lockers then next day. "Any idea what
caused this so-called rash?" said Jen.
Daria shook her head. "Not a clue. But if it comes back, I'm getting it
checked out." She was going to continue when Ted showed up in front of
them.
"Well, look who it is. Protest march boy," Jane said. "Find
anyone to take your little pamphlets?"
Ted was looking down, his hands behind his back. "I wanted to apologize to
you, Daria, even though you weren't at your house when I was. You know I don't
agree with your choice to be gay. Well, I met a couple of girls -" he was
interrupted by Jen.
"According to Quinn, it was Sandi and Tiffany."
Daria nodded, and turned back to Ted. "Go on."
"Well, they made it sound like everyone in town wanted all the gay people
out, including you, but that there wasn't any legal way to do it." He ran
his fingers through his hair, scratching the back of his neck. "I thought
about what I could do, and decided that a protest would gather everyone
together, and make it clear that you weren't wanted, without harming
anyone." He took a deep breath. "I talked to Mom and Dad, and they
said, even though you're going to hell, we don't have the right to try and
force you out of town." He held out his hand. "So, I'm sorry?"
Daria crossed her arms, and pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand for a
couple of moments. "Let me get this straight," she said. "You,
with malice aforethought, came to my house trying to get a mob around you
shouting hateful things at me - and mobs, I will tell you, are the most
bloodthirsty things on the planet when they're raised for hate - an attempt
that failed mostly because my best friend and girlfriend, along with my sister,
were there to set you right. You then go and do what you should have done in
the first place, and check your facts. You find that you were wrong, on more than
one point. And now you come to me, saying, "Hey, you're still going to
hell, but let's be buddies?" Daria was staring straight at Ted, her hands
at her hips, when Jen tapped her shoulder.
"Dar? I think you need to see the nurse." Daria nodded and turned
back to Ted. "That's wrong on so many levels. We'll discuss this
later." She turned and headed toward the Nurse's office.
Jane and Jen glared at Ted. "What?" he asked.
Daria sat in Dr. Davidson's office. "Hmm. Daria, I assume the inner lining
of your pillow doesn't contain any synthetic fibers," he said.
"Umm. Okay."
"You don't drink carbonated beverages, do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Do you stay away from foods with artificial colors, bleach, flour and
refined sugar?"
"No." She turned to him and asked, "What have I got?"
"I haven't the slightest idea. Probably some kind of allergy but we can't
rule out something a bit more... serious. Especially with the slight fever
you're running. Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to check you into the
hospital for some tests."
"Oh, joy."
The orderly had just finished tucking Daria in when her mother and Quinn came
in. "Oh, Daria! Oh, my goodness, just look at you." Helen hugged her
daughter.
"Hi, Mom. Good to see you, too. They haven't come back with the results of
the first tests yet."
"They haven't?" Helen's face hardened. "I'll fix that!" She
stormed out of the room, calling, "Nurse!" All three remaining
Morgendorffers rolled their eyes.
Daria picked up the phone and dialed a number she knew by heart. "Hey,
Jane? I'm at the hospital. A lot of tests, the doctor didn't have enough to do.
Yeah, well, I don't get to pick out the days I get sick. That was Trent. Could
you tell Jen? I would make a crack about getting a ride, but I don't know who
would be giving. Yeah, the morning should be fine. All right. Bye." She
looked up. "Trent's going to bring Jane and Jen up in the morning."
"Good for you, kiddo!" Jake smiled and went back to the crossword
he'd been working on.
Daria walked out of her room, in search of one thing. There it was! She quietly
walked up behind the man in the bed and then hit his head as hard as possible
with the pipe wrench that she'd stolen from the nurse's station. "Serves
you right, having the TV on at full blast at ten p.m.," she said.
"The rules say nine-thirty!" She sat down on the bed to watch Sick,
Sad World, but it was a rerun. So she got out, opened a door to an
ambulance, and kicked the driver in the ribs as he fell out. "Ouch,"
she said. "Good thing we're right outside of the hospital." She got
in, and turned the siren and lights on while she drove to the school. It was
fun watching cars swerve out of her way.
She finally made it to the high school, where school was in session. She
reached under the dash, and pulled out a fully loaded shotgun. Getting out, she
entered the school, went to the office, and saw Ms. Li. She walked up to her
and hit her chin, hard, with the butt of the shotgun. Ms. Li dropped like a
rock, and happily, not much gore had splattered the master student schedule.
She consulted it and then was off, pausing only twice; once to shoot off Mrs.
Bennett's hands ("learn to make a coherent picture, woman!"), and the
other to gut-shoot Mr. O'Neill. Taking out Ms. Barch with him, as they had been
kissing at the time, was pure serendipity. It also felt pretty damned good. She
turned, and Ted got up and tried to run out the door. A shot to the knees
brought him down. He was still grabbing his mostly-severed leg, rocking back
and forth on the floor, when she kicked him with her steel-toed boots to the
face. It was a little too hard, it seemed, as he immediately fell back and
stopped moving. "Oh, well," she said, and started on her way again.
She eventually made it to her destination, taking time to blow away Kevin and Brittany
on her way, and discovering whether Brittany's boobs were all natural at the
same time. Finally, she made it to the History classroom, where Mr. DeMartino
started yelling at her. In mere moments, he started having convulsions, but the
students were just as oblivious to his death as they had been to his lessons.
Daria, herself, was lying on a secret fold-down bed in the back of the class,
naked, as were her two girlfriends, who started kissing her from opposite
sides, and eventually met in the middle -
"Daria? Daria?" The nurse shook her gently. "We need to take
some more blood for tests."
As the woman drew blood from her, Daria yawned and looked at the clock. That
was a weird dream. Seven a.m. Everyone'll come at around eight. No real use
going back to sleep. When the woman was done, she went into the bathroom
and did her morning ablutions.
Daria's family arrived almost right at eight, but for Jane and her crew, it was
nearer to nine. Jane saw Daria's look, and said, "Don't blame me! Trent
picked up a couple stowaways on the way here." She smiled as Jodie and
Mack came in.
"Brain fever?" Jodie asked.
When Daria shot her an inquiring look, Jane shrugged. "I had to say
something, and I didn't think that you'd want 'a rash,' all over school."
Daria nodded, and turned to Trent, who had been whispering with her parents,
and Jen. "What's all the hush-hush about, Trent?"
Trent smiled. "We decided last night. Mystic Spiral is going to hire your
parents for legal and business support."
The doctor came in, right at that moment. After shooing everyone out, he told
Daria, "It looks like it's just a byproduct of anxiety. Here's a
prescription, if what we've given you doesn't keep it controlled."
Daria looked with narrowed eyes at the prescription. "If this is due to
anxiety, why am I in this robe that leaves my butt hanging out?"
11. Episode Ten
The soft rhythmic
beat of the soles of her shoes hitting the ground lulled Jane into a state
where nothing mattered. No problems with Trent, no complications with Daria and
Jen, no worries about her math scores. slap - slap - slap - slap - slap - slap
- slap - slap, it all got plowed under. She was in so deep that she didn't
notice the gathering clouds, and she only came out of her trance when the big
raindrops started to fall. Fortunately, she was right near Daria's when it
happened, so she wasn't too drenched by the time Jake answered the door.
"Hi, Mr. M.," she said, shaking her head a bit. "Is Daria
home?"
"Nope, Jane-o. She went off to the library. Want to come in?"
"That's why I rang the doorbell. I was out running when this weather came
up, and, any port in a storm...." Jake motioned to the linen closet, and
Jane was just finishing rubbing a towel through her hair when the door opened,
and Daria came through, bits of plaster and dust on her mostly-dry jacket. She
finished closing her umbrella, then looked up. "Jane? What are you doing
here?"
"Eh, I was out running, and I didn't want to get caught out
swimming." She looked a bit more closely at Daria. "I'd say the more
important question is what happened to you?"
"I was at the library when the roof caved in."
"Roof caved in!?!" Jake said, loudly.
"Relax, Dad. It made noises and started dripping well ahead of time. I was
just at the door when it went." Her expression became thoughtful.
"Although Kevin and Brittany were there, making out. I saw them moving
around as I left. They were still making out."
Jen snorted. "They must go through half of Argentina's rubber output every
year." She shook her head. "You know, it wasn't a bad storm. You'd
think that Li would keep up the maintenance."
Daria raised an eyebrow. "On the building that gets the absolute least use
on campus? She probably took the money for it to pay for a polygraph machine
for her drug-sniffing dogs."
Jane smiled. "Yeah, you never know when those mutts'll get bought off by a
nice steak or two."
The three amigas were sitting in Mr. O'Neill's class, making fun of
Kevin and Brittany's bandages and paying scant attention to Mr. O'Neill, when Ms.
Li burst in through the door. "Good morning, young people. I have a very
sad announcement. The library will be closed until further notice."
Daria snorted. "Great. There goes the only place I can go to be
alone."
Jen raised her eyebrow, "You expected something different with the roof
caving in?"
Ms Li cleared her throat and continued. "To raise money for repairs, the
school will be presenting a medieval fair, simulating life in the middle
ages."
Kevin looked up from where he was making out with Brittany during the break in
class, and said, "Yeah!"
"Volunteers are desperately needed. Those who refuse to volunteer must
voluntarily purchase a ticket for ten dollars or voluntarily face suspension.
Have a nice day." And with that, Ms. Li urned and walked out.
Daria turned to her friends. "That may be the stupidest thing I've ever
heard of."
Jane smirked. "I know."
Jen grinned, "We gotta go."
At the Morgendorffer dinner table, Quinn was talking. "So I thought, if I
have to volunteer anyway, I might as well do something that lets me try out
some of the things that interest me. I mean, I already know that I'm pretty
good with clothes, but what if I'm better in front of a camera?"
Daria nodded. "That actually sounds reasonable, Quinn."
"So, they'll have this dinner theater with a play by this guy, Ken Barry,
and I'm going to audition for "Emily," the really cute sister. And
Daria, I was wondering if - what are you laughing about?"
"Sorry, Sis," Daria said, still holding her sides. "It's just
funny." She looked at Quinn, still grinning. "If this play is at all
from the Middle Ages, and your pronunciation is even close, then you're talking
about, "The Knight's Tale", from The Canterbury Tales, by
Geoffrey Chaucer. Canterbury is a town in England that all these people were
going to, in his stories. Ken Berry is an actor that was on F Troop."
Seeing Quinn frown, she waved her hand. "Don't worry, if you didn't know
the players and someone was talking fast, anyone can make that mistake. What
were you wondering?"
"I was wondering if you could help me get ready, since you and your
girlfriend have already bought tickets."
Three hours later, Daria looked up from where she sat on her bed, glanced at
Jen and Jane, and told Quinn, "Well, that's it. Since they're going to use
this scene to audition, you're as ready as you're going to be. And we've got
stage basics down, so you won't make a fool of yourself." She closed the
script and looked at each of the girls. "Um, I'm gonna talk about what
happens if you get the part." She took a breath. "Quinn, it's been
really cool how things have changed in the last few months, but one of the
downsides is that you do have actual enemies now. Of course, in my opinion,
they were enemies before, so you've just taken the ability to stab you in the
back away from them, but still." She looked into Quinn's eyes. "If
you get this part, especially if one or more of your enemies tries out, well,
this theater is a way for you to shine, but it can also be a way for you to
humiliate yourself."
Jen nodded, "They may take the opportunity to ...help you humiliate
yourself. Or not." Jane nodded.
"Look, nothing may happen, everything might go perfectly," said
Daria. "But it costs you very little to be prepared. Think about what
could go wrong."
"Besides mass food poisoning on the dinner part." Jane looked up and
the semi-amused stares of her friends and smiled at Quinn. "What she's
saying is that you should do everything you, personally, can to make sure
things go well. Take what I just said. Maybe one of your co-stars gets bad food
and can't play his or her part. What do you do?"
"And be a little skeptical when people offer you advice," Daria said.
"Yeah, besides the fact that she's thick as a brick, why would Tiffany
want you to do better in anything?" Jen added.
Quinn nodded. "I kinda see what you're saying. But what can I do?"
She looked at Daria. "What would you do?"
Daria rubbed her chin. "Well, first of all, I wouldn't audition for the
part." All the girls laughed and threw paper at her. "But if I was
put into your place, I'd both try to do my best, and try to cover myself.
First, the scenario Jane brought up. What happens if someone can't play their
part for some reason? And the vast majority of them are guys. Because this is
so spur-of-the-moment, I don't think that they'll have understudies. You have
the three J's. You might want to ask them to try and memorize as much of your
three biggest co-stars' lines as possible. Next, step back and look at who is
offering you things or advice. If you're unsure at all, ask us."
Jane leaned forward. "And finally, after you've done those things, relax
and have fun. It's not worth it if you have to plan this big campaign about it."
Jen nodded in agreement.
Daria muttered, "It is for some people."
Quinn saw Sandi and Tiffany coming toward her. Gotta at least be civil,
she thought. "Hi Sandi, Tiffany. What's up?"
Oddly, it was Tiffany that answered her, Sandi apparently not having noticed
her. "Not muuch, Quinn. And wiith you?"
A thoughtful expression crossed Quinn's face before her lips thinned. "Not
too much, Tiff. I'm going to try out for that play, the Ken Berry tales?"
Sandi broke in on whatever Tiffany was about to say. "That is so weird,
Quinn. I am, too."
Quinn raised her eyebrow. "Really? I didn't see your name on the sign-up
sheet. Anyway, gotta go."
And with that, she turned and was almost run into by Stacy, who said,
"Quinn, you're not going to believe this. Bret Strand just asked me
out."
"That's great, Stacy!" And they chattered as they made their way away
from the Fashion Club, or Fashion Pair.
Mr. O'Neill looked around at the various students reading their lines, sighed,
and clapped his hands. "Uh, shall we begin?" The first pair to try
out was Sandi and Upchuck. They made their way through the lines until Mr.
O'Neill was acting as a priest.
"Uh, I do, I guess," said Sandi.
Mr. O'Neill smiled. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Turning
to the audience, he added, "And thus with perfect bliss and melody,
Palamon wedded Emily."
Upchuck took this opportunity to grab Sandi's butt. She struggled, and they
both fell to the stage. "Hey! Why fight it, toots? We're man and wife
now."
Sandi took this opportunity to knee Upchuck in the groin. "Keep dreaming,
Charles," she said as she got up.
The next pair was Kevin and Brittany. "I do, Kevvy... I mean
Palimony," Brittany squeaked happily.
"Yeah, me, too, replied Kevin, as they began making out.
"I now pronounce you... oh, dear. Okay, guys... um, Brittany. Brittany?
Brittany!" Mr. O'Neill was having problems getting the blonde's attention.
"Yes?"
"That was... very good. But now it's time to give someone else a chance to
audition."
Brittany's face was crestfallen. "Okay. Come on, Kevvy."
"Um, actually, I'd like Kevin to stay on stage. Kevin, you're really doing
something special with Palamon."
"But... aren't I Palamon?" Kevin seemed confused.
"Now, who's next for Emily? Ah, Quinn. Quinn Morgendorffer." Mr.
O'Neill looked at his clipboard.
"Right here!" she replied.
"Eep!" said Brittany.
The Morgendorffers were all in the car, riding to the fair. "I will make a
dainty garland for my head and sing. Why can't I get that right?"
"Because you're interested in it," said Daria.
"Huh?"
Daria turned toward Quinn. "Listen, Emily's been kept in her family's
castle since she was born. No hayrides, no hunting, and almost no women of her
age and social status to gossip with. She's in the garden trying to find something
to do, so she decides to put flowers in her hair and sing...something. Anything
to ward off the boredom."
"Oh." Quinn thought for a bit. "I will make a dainty garland for
my head, and sing," she said, her head in her hands.
Daria smirked a bit. "I guess Brittany's speechless with joy that you and
Kevin are going to be acting together."
Quinn stuck out her tongue. "For your information, Daria, she volunteered
to drive him so he could work on his lines." They were approaching the
school, and a red car swerved around them, past the turn for the school, and
headed out of town.
Daria raised her eyebrow. "Wasn't that Brittany's car?" Quinn, her
face pale, nodded.
"When I find the girls, we'll find the Js," she said, as they parked
and got out of the car. As soon as the doors closed, they headed off in
opposite directions.
As they were moving into the fair, Helen said, "Daria? Quinn?"
Jake looked around. "That's funny, they were here a minute ago." He
shrugged.
Helen saw the Griffins approaching. "Linda! Tom!" she said, with a
smile pasted on her face.
"Helen! Jake!" they both replied. After Jake and Tom had shook hands,
Linda said, "Have you met Sam and Chris? Boys, say hello to Mr. and Mrs.
Morgendorffer."
The boys seemed more interested in a tussle between themselves. "You suck.
You suck!" said Sam, just before Chris stomped on his foot and ran off.
"Ow!" he cried, then followed him.
"Uh, kids, come back here." Tom said, then followed them.
"Congratulations on Quinn getting the lead in the play," Linda said.
Helen smiled widely. "Why, thank you. I heard the competition was pretty
stiff."
Linda shrugged, and said. "Well, poor Sandi's acting is a little subtle.
Mr. O'Neill was obviously looking for someone over the top."
Helen just grinned.
Daria looked at Jane and Jen. "Thanks for meeting me here, guys."
Jane smiled. "Hey, we wanted to be here, remember?" Jen nodded.
Daria looked around the main drag. "Listen we need to - " She was cut
off by Upchuck bouncing toward them.
"Would either of you lovelies be interested in a madrigal?"
They chorused, "No!"
He ignored them. "I am the brave Sir Chuck, Sir Chuck, manly and strong
and quick..."
Jane tapped his shoulder, and sang, "I'm going to cut out your tongue,
your tongue, and fry it up on a stick."
Jen continued. "And if that doesn't work, doesn't work, I'll cut off
your..." Her mouth was covered by Daria's hand.
Seeing Daria's glare, Upchuck said, "Feisty." He turned and called,
"Hey! Andrea! You like madrigals?" before he went bouncing off.
Daria sighed. "Thank God for that." She turned to her friends.
"We need to find the three Js, it looks like Brittany's taken off with
Kevin."
After searching for a few moments, they found the boys at the jousting arena,
where Jaime had just gotten bowled over by Mr. DeMartino, and was slow getting
up. While they were waiting for him, Stacy came up, crying.
"Oh, Daria!!!" she sobbed. I went out on a date with Bret Strand, and
he said he'd call me, and he didn't, and I just passed him, and he acted like
he didn't even see me!" She kept on crying.
Daria looked around, saying, "Oh, Lord," to herself. Finally, her
eyes lit on someone. She walked over to him. "Ted?" she asked softly.
He looked up, then blanched. "Yes, Daria?"
She took him by the arm. "Did you mean it when you said you wanted to
apologize?" He nodded. "Good. Here's what you're going to do. You see
that girl?" she asked, pointing at Stacy.
"She's a pretty girl."
"Well, someone acted poorly to her, and I don't have time to listen to her
vent right now, because my sister needs me. So, because you're all about
treating ladies well, you're going to go up to her, and be her escort
today." She looked into his eyes. "And if she gets hurt more,
physically or emotionally, I'm going to blame you, and you're going to be very
unhappy. Are we clear?"
He nodded. "Crystal."
She led him over. "Stacy? I think you've met Ted. He's going to be
escorting you around today."
Stacy looked up. "Ted? The jerk who called you a -"
Daria held up her hand. "Let's assume he's found the error of his ways
unless he shows you otherwise." She turned to her friends.
"Ready?"
They nodded. Joey said, "Jamie's still a bit woozy, and he's the one that
studied Palamon."
"Can't be helped."
In the end, it was a successful failure. They managed to get Jamie to the
theater in time, but the blow to the head he had taken had him believing that
his lines included singing, "Buffalo Gals," and "Camptown
Races," at the top of his lungs. This started a food fight among the audience,
but everyone had enjoyed Quinn's part before things went pear-shaped. And Helen
managed to get a piece of meat right to Linda Griffin's face when she was
looking elsewhere. Daria, Jen, and Jane decided to walk home, their hands
entwined.
"What happened to Stacy and Ted?"
"I don't know, guess you'll just have to ask her tomorrow."
"Eh, I think we should let Quinn do it."
12. Episode Eleven
Ms. Morris, the
gym teacher, blew her whistle. "Okay, ladies, listen up. Since it's 'Focus
on Agility' month, for the rest of the class, I want you all to work on your
cartwheels, splits and aerials."
Daria rolled her eyes. "Funny how all the drills for 'Focus on Agility'
month are the same ones you'd do if you were trying to sneak a cheerleader
practice into regular gym class."
Jane pounded her hand on her knee. "Yes, and I don't intend to stand for
it. They can have my squat-thrusts when they pry them from my cold, dead
hands."
Jen just raised her eyebrows.
"I don't know," Jane shrugged, then smiled as a tall, thin boy
strolled in.
Daria smirked. "See something you like or just browsing?"
Jane held up her hands. "I'm just thinking about getting those running
shoes."
Jen grinned. "What color were they?"
Jane hung her head. "Just kick the bleachers out from underneath me,
okay?"
Ms Morris headed in their direction.
"Uh-oh, busted," said Daria.
"Ladies. Why aren't you exercising with the rest of the class?" Ms.
Morris had her hands on her hips.
Jen smiled. "We are exercising."
Daria smirked. "We're exercising our right to abstain from cheerleader
practice."
"That's not cheerleading, it's agility. Lane, you're just like your
sisters, aren't you?"
"We share certain chromosome pairs. Beyond that, I'm not supposed to
say." Jane's mouth was compressed in a thin line.
"You know what I mean." Ms. Morris was about to say more, but Daria
held up her hand and stepped between the two.
"Excuse me." Both of them looked at her. "I'm sorry, Ms. Morris,
but what you said just doesn't hold water," she said to the teacher. Your
'Focus on Agility' not only has the same drills that your cheerleaders
practice, but the way that you teach says that this is cheerleading practice,
as well. If this were truly a mandated agility workout, you would have it
heavily regimented due to the high risk of injury, and you would be focusing on
those with the least ability, to make sure that there were no injury. Instead,
you have told the great majority of class to 'work on' a wide variety of
things, while you assist the cheerleaders - those most adept at these things -
at getting better, and ignoring those who'll never get on the squad. It's a
wonderful training technique for cheerleaders, but you've shown you just don't
care what we do, as long as Ms. Li doesn't come in and see us slacking."
"Yeah," Jen said. "Why don't you give us a place to get out of
your way, and we won't interfere with your cheerleader practice."
Ms. Morris snorted. "Jane Lane. Can't be part of a group. Always have to
be different. Your sister Penny never wanted to participate, either. I taught
her a thing or two about the American competitive spirit."
Jane stared back at her. "You sure did. That's why she's spent the last
ten years out of the country."
Ms. Morris looked at Daria and Jen. "I know what kind of upbringing she's
had. What's your excuse?"
Jen smiled and shrugged. "I'm just plain no good?"
"Life's just one big smartass joke, isn't it? Well, I'm here to prepare
you for the real world. I'll see you all after school to make up this
class."
Daria put her hands on her knees. "Hold it, you didn't hear my
excuse. I'm someone who doesn't want to get injured doing exercises that I'm
not used to while you spend your time coaching cheerleaders. Now you can have
us make up this class after school, but remember, that'll take up your
time as well, and if you do that, I'm going to my mom, the lawyer, and we will
go through meeting after hearing after discussion, all of which will take your
time away from you, and at the end of, you will still lose. Now, how much time
do you want to invest, Ms. Morris?"
Ms. Morris's face screwed up, and for a moment it seemed as if the girls were
going to the office. But she just pointed to a set of mats, and said, "sit
on those mats and stretch, and you'll get 'C's."
The girls quickly scrambled over.
Later that day, the girls overheard Kevin bragging to Mack about getting a bye.
"Did you hear that?" Jen asked.
"Whoever said life was fair?" said Jane.
Daria chipped in as she re-tied her boot, "I don't know, but I'll bet he
was a quarterback."
Jane sighed. "You know, I had this weird anxiety dream where we had this
pop quiz in math that I was totally unprepared for."
"Were you in your underwear?" Daria smiled.
Jane frowned. "No. That's how I figured out it wasn't a dream."
Jen patted Jane's back. "Uh-oh. Not a great score on the quiz?"
"My straight "C" average in math is now in serious danger of
becoming a 'D'." Jane sighed. "So I'm off to study hall."
"To finish your nap?"
Jane smiled. "You two know me too well."
When Daria got home, Jane and Jen were with her. "Mom, can we see you in
private?" she asked, when they found her.
"Of course," her mother replied and went into the home office, which
was a bit bigger than others. When everyone was inside, she said, "Daria,
please lock the door, then everyone, please, have a seat."
After they did, Daria nodded at Jane and Jen, and they each took a dollar out
and handed it to Helen. "Mom," Daria said, "We've got a couple
of issues at school and need your professional opinion."
"All right," Helen said as she collected the bills. "But I
reserve the right to stop being your lawyer and start being your mother again
at any time."
"It started this morning, when we went to gym..." Daria began, and
with the other's help, soon related all that they had done, heard, and seen
that day. After they finished, she leaned back.
"So there really are two...problems that we have, Mom. The first is more
just giving you a heads-up on this Focus On Agility stuff."
"I understand, even though, as a parent, I'd prefer if you don't avoid
class."
"I wouldn't avoid it if I was given proper training, Mom. But I'm not
going to hurt myself proving that I'm not a cheerleader."
"I understand, and I'll back you up...this time."
"Thanks, Mom. The other thing is this thing about byes."
Helen sighed. "And it's the more important issue. But frankly, all that
you have is a small amount of heresay, and that won't be admissible anywhere
useful. The advice I will give you is this - don't say anything about it to
anyone except me or each other, and be on the lookout for hard evidence.
Nothing else, with the possible exception of a mass of verbal confessions, will
work at all." Helen crossed her arms. "And I would not suggest trying
to record them. You either have to get everyone's consent, which you'll never
do, or you have to record them in a public area - and if they find out you're
doing it, many people will get violent. So unless they, through gross
stupidity, give you a present, you don't worry about it. Tell me anything more
that you hear, and if there's enough, I'll hand it over to the police to deal
with."
All the girls sighed and looked down at once.
"That's all we can do, girls."
The girls were walking down the school halls, talking about their parents, when
they saw Sandi and Tiffany, with their new acolyte Brooke, clustered near a
table labeled Track Team Tryouts, with the same boy from the day before
sitting at it.
Sandi actually had her nose in the air. "Can you imagine joining an actual
sport?" she asked.
Brooke said, "You'd get all sweaty and your makeup would smudge."
Tiffany added, "You're supposed to date jocks, not be one."
"Well said, Tiffany," Sandy said. "I mean, what kind of loser
would sign up for the track team?"
The boy looked up. "You girls don't think I'm a loser, do you?"
Sandi gave out a ladylike snort. "Are you asking if you can hang out with
us?"
The boy shook his head. "Nope. I prefer women with a slightly more
enlightened attitude toward fitness."
"Oh, yeah?" With that, the Fashion Club turned and walked away.
The boy shook his head. "I guess you can be born in the '80s and still
stuck in the '50s."
Jane "Mmm'ed."
"It's hard to believe there's anyone alive who still thinks being athletic
isn't ladylike," the boy continued.
Jen "Mmm'ed."
"Women can excel at any sport they put their minds to. "
Daria nodded. "I definitely agree with that."
Jane opened her mouth, closed it, then gave out a tight smile as she walked up.
"Me, too. I'd like to sign up for the track team."
Both Daria's and Jen's jaws dropped open.
The three girls met in the hallway the next day. "You walking home?"
asked Daria of Jane, who shook her head.
"Um, not today. Practice."
"So you made the team?" asked Jen.
"Yeah." She looked at her friends. "This is the part where you
say, 'Hey, way to go, congratulations.'"
Daria took Jane's shoulders in her hands. "Hey, way to go,
congratulations," she said softly. "The only reason I didn't say that
earlier was that it wasn't any surprise that you made it. I've seen you run,
Lane."
Jen bent in and hugged her. "Good job, Jane, for whatever reason you're
doing it."
Daria and Jen had been silent all the way to Daria's house. Once they were in
her room with the door closed, Jen turned to her and asked, with tears in her
eyes, "It's what I think it is, isn't it?"
Daria nodded. "If you think that she joined because of that guy, yeah,
it's what you think." She put her head in her hands. "Jen, did you
ever hear of Jane ever having a boyfriend?"
Jen shook her head. "She's hung around with a few, but I never heard of
her dating. Any guy that got past her rep as a weird girl couldn't deal with
the amount of time she spent on her art."
Daria shrugged. "I have an idea what might be happening, but I can't be
sure. All we can do is be there, and support her as friends, like we said we
would."
Jen said, "But-" when she was cut off by Daria's lips on hers.
After the kiss, Daria leaned back. "If she's just a friend, we'll be okay.
I'll be ecstatic."
"You don't blame me for wanting more?"
Daria shook her head with a sad smile. "How can I, when I want more,
too?"
Two weeks passed, with Jane spending more time training than with her friends.
Finally, they met in the hall, with Jane having her hair pinned up, and
carrying a gym bag.
"Land that big sneaker endorsement yet?" Daria asked.
"Nah, they wouldn't meet my price." Jane coughed and looked down.
"Today's our first track meet. I wouldn't mind if you two were
there."
"Oh. Well, you know how I hate to cancel my line-dancing lesson... but
okay," Daria said, winking.
"Be there with bells on," said Jen."
"Cool," Jane said, as she left.
Daria had on a pensive expression. "The question is, am I supporting my
friend or her surrender to the system?"
"If you have to ask, then you know which one it is," said Jen as she
put her arm around Daria. "C'mon, lets get to class."
Later that day, Daria and Jen were about to sit down in the bleachers when they
saw Trent, so they moved to sit next to him. "Trent? What are you doing
here?" Daria asked as they sat down.
"I came to support Janey," he said, then shrugged. "They're
power-scrubbing my room again. Anyway, this running stuff means lot to
her."
"Uh-huh," was all that Daria could say.
"What she's doing takes guts. All that practicing, day in, day out."
It was Jen's turn. "Yeah."
He turned to look at them. "You know, it's meant a lot to her that you
haven't walked away when she had this...interest."
"Trent, she's my best friend." Daria tried to think of what to say next.
"I may not always agree with what she does, but I'm going to be behind her
on it."
Jen said, without turning her head from the track, "Goes double for
me."
Just then, the whistle sounded, and all the runners came out of their blocks.
After the split-second it took Daria to turn her head, it looked like Jane had
had a running start, while all the rest were from a standing start. As Jane
made her way down the track, Daria could hear the voices of various students
say, "Hey, Jane's good." "No, she's great!" "Go
girl!"
Daria said in her monotone, "Go, go, kick butt," while faintly
pumping her arm. Then she looked at Trent and Jen, shook her head, and yelled,
"Go, Jane!" using her mouth as a megaphone. This shocked both Trent
and Jen, even though they had been doing the same thing.
The three girls were celebrating at Pizza King, and Daria was making up for
lost time. "...And you missed a lot of really good TV while you were at
those practices. The other day, they had this special, When Animals Hold a
Grudge."
Jane and Mack stopped by their booth. "Jane, you were amazing. First
place?" asked Jodie.
"Yeah, congratulations," Mack added.
Jane blushed slightly and said, "Thanks, I just pretend I'm running away
from a pep rally."
After they left, Daria continued. "So anyway, this one parakeet was really
ticked off at its owner for not changing its water..." and this time was
interrupted by Evan, the boy from the sign-up table.
"Hey, teammate," he said to Jane, then turned to the other girls.
"Did you see this girl run like the wind?"
Daria, on automatic, replied, "Have you ever heard her break wind?"
and didn't immediately see the shocked look on Jane's face.
"Daria!"
Evan seemed amused. "That's pretty funny." He turned to Jane and
said, "See you at practice, speedy." before he left.
By that time, Jen had elbowed Daria in the ribs, and Daria had done a facepalm.
"Oh, crap," she said. "That was the shoe guy, wasn't it?"
She looked up and saw Jane's mouth in a firm line as she nodded. "I'm
sorry, I didn't recognize him soon enough," she said with a faint blush.
Jane shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. "Hell, if that's the worst
I get dissed, I should count myself lucky. Now, about that parakeet?"
Daria grinned, and started again. "So anyway, the parakeet waits until its
owner... "
Daria, Jen, and Jane were sitting on the bleachers when Daria noticed Ms.
Morris coming toward them. "I guess we'd better get to our mat before she
gives us detention."
Jane held her hand up slightly. "Don't worry about it."
Daria looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Watch."
Ms Morris went straight to Jane. "How are the legs, Jane?"
Jane said, in an unsure voice, "Okay, Ms. Morris. Maybe a little sore
after the meet."
Ms. Morris' eyebrow shot up. "Sore? You better rest up for tomorrow. Here,
go watch TV in my office." She tossed Jane the keys.
Jane replied, while making a subtle gesture between Daria and Jen, "I
don't know. I-I don't really want to be all by myself... "
Ms. Morris turned to the two others. "Morgendorffer, Burns, you join her,"
she said, then left.
"Yes, ma'am," said Daria.
"Anything for the team, ma'am," added Jen.
As they walked toward the coaches' office, Jane leaned close to both of them,
and said, "And I even got that all on tape."
Later that afternoon, the three friends walked to Daria's house, and went into
the office, where Helen was sitting already.
"Well?" she asked. Jane put down a cassette.
"This is Morris sending us three to her office because 'my legs were
sore.' I've been making noises about being worried about my math grade, I
expect to get offered a bye on it, soon." She looked up. "Is this
going to be enough to bring in people? Because I'm out on a limb, and it can
get awfully lonely."
"Jane, I can't promise that it won't turn out badly. What I can promise
you is that I won't release any information until we have enough to, at a
minimum, cover you." Helen nodded.
"Thanks, Mom," said Daria as they left.
"How'd the math test go?" Daria asked as Jane came out of the
classroom.
"I passed."
"You hope."
"I know." Jane smirked.
"Well, aren't we confident. If I had as much trouble wi..." Daria
broke off, as Jen spoke up.
"You got a bye on the test, didn't you?"
"I probably would have gotten a 'C', anyway." Jane looked at her
friends, and nodded.
"I can't believe it!" Daria said, as she put her hands on Jane's
shoulders. Jane reached up and slowly took them off, squeezing before letting
them go. Daria's face screwed up as she clenched her fists.
"Hey, you watched TV with me instead of going to gym." Jane crossed
her arms.
"So?" Jen asked.
"So, that was one perk of being on the team. The math test was
another."
"You don't see any difference?" Daria was incredulous.
"Yeah, the math test was a hell of a lot better."
"Give me a break," Daria said as she and Jen stomped off.
"What's up with your friends?" Evan asked as he walked up.
"Oh, I rubbed her self-righteousness the wrong way." Jane said as she
watched him twirl a little baton around and about, right next to her.
"I don't know why you hang out with her." The baton was going up and
down, but he was slowing down a bit.
"What do you mean?" Jane asked, her eyebrows arched.
"Well, you're sort of a sports star now. It's not so cool to be hanging
around with... you know, losers. Especially dyke losers."
Jane's expression was a battlefield of emotions. Finally, she got it down to a
poker face, and turned to look at Evan. "Yeah, you're right. I've been
spending too much time with losers." And with that, she turned and headed
toward Ms. Morris's office.
"I'm glad you... see it my way," was all that Evan could say.
The next day, Jane was getting some books out of her locker. When she started
to close the door, she saw the whole track team gathered around her.
"Um... I'll bring the spikes back tomorrow. Honest."
Ms. Morris looked straight at Jane. "Jane, I wish you would consider
coming back to the team." The crowd murmured agreement.
Jane looked right back at her. "Thanks, but I stand by my decision."
Ms. Morris said, again, "Jane, I wish you would consider coming back to
the team."
"Am I missing something?" Jane looked puzzled.
"The team needs you, and you need the team... if you don't want to be here
taking math again this summer."
"Gee, that almost sounds like blackmail. Fortunately, I can pull up my
math grade on my own." Jane said with a grin.
"Then I'll flunk you."
"Oh, now that does sound exactly like blackmail." Jane looked at the
ceiling. "Or is it extortion? No matter, the lawyers can settle it."
She looked back at Ms. Morris. "Why don't I go to Ms. Li and expose this
grade-changing arrangement?"
Ms. Morris smirked. "She already knows."
Jane's smile lost a bit of its sunniness. "Okay, then, back off or I'll
tell the P.T.A."
Ms. Morris's smile widened. "They know, too."
Jane's smile vanished. "Oh, darn."
"You're beaten, Lane."
Jane raised her eyebrow. "Really? I think I'll just have to tell the grand
jury about this."
Ms. Morris covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. "The grand jury! Who
do you think that they're going to believe, you or me? Or I should say, you, or
me and everyone on the track team?"
Jane's face turned ashen. "You mean that you, Evan, Chipmunk, ..."
she went through everyone's names, "..., you'd all lie under oath and say
that you know nothing about a grade-changing arrangement?"
Everyone nodded or said some version of, "Yes."
"And no one will stand up and tell the truth? Nobody?"
Not a word or motion was said.
Jane shrugged. "You realize that's conspiracy to commit perjury,
right?"
Ms. Morris snorted. "Once again, who'll have any proof?"
Jane had her jaw drop down, then put up her finger, and act like she was trying
to say something and couldn't. She tried again, with the same results. Then she
put her finger on her chin, and said, "Hmmm. I guess that'd be me, since
I've recorded every conversation we've just had, including this one." She
looked around, and said, "And don't try to get the tape off of me here,
because I have copies from other days, so it'll be a short hop for people with
a clue to figure out who - What are you all laughing about?"
Evan finally reined in his chuckles enough to talk. "You've forgot that
we're in Maryland. Both parties have to be aware and agree to any tapings. You
offer those up, and not only will they throw them out, but you'll get thrown in
jail for using them."
Jane nodded. "Ooh, I see." She rubbed her chin. "Nope. You need
to consult a better lawyer, because mine says that that only applies to private
conversations." She waved her hand around. "You see this? Public
school. No expectation of privacy, and so you can record to your little heart's
content." She slammed her locker door. "See you in court!" she
said, then sprinted down the halls, out the front door, and into Daria's arm's
- while Helen stood there beside Jen and a police officer, and another two
officers and a court clerk went in to subpoena Ms. Li's video tapes.
"We did it, we did it!" Jane said, bouncing up and down in Daria's
arms.
"If we did it, then maybe we can stop jumping, Jane?"
Daria said, but she had a wide smile on her face.
Jane stopped jumping and enveloped Daria in a tight hug. "Lane, air!"
was all that Daria could squeeze out.
"Sorry, Daria." Jane stopped and framed Daria's face in her hands,
her thumbs brushing over Daria's cheekbones. "I just remembered what I
realized yesterday, and couldn't tell you...either of you," she amended as
Jen tunneled into the embrace, making it three-way. "I was kinda bummed
about Evan being such a jerk, and I was wondering why all the guys interested in
me are jerks. That's when I realized."
"Realized what?"
Jane stood stock still. "I realized that maybe someone was making all
those guys look like jerks because I had already won the lottery. I have two
wonderful women who love me and who I...love." A tear dripped down Jane's
cheek. "I love you! My God, Daria, Jen, I almost passed up the best thing
in my life because of a jerk of a jock?"
Daria's eyes widened. "It's okay, Jane, real-" Whatever she was going
to say was cut off by Jane, having her arm wrapped around Daria's neck, kissing
Daria deeply, as Daria stiffened for a moment, then relaxed into her embrace.
After a time that the girls would measure in eons, but was probably only a few
moments, they broke, both panting for air. Jen saw the love for each other in
their eyes, and tried to leave the embrace.
The emphasis was on tried. Neither would let go of their third amiga,
and Jane looked Jen straight in the eyes, making the shorter girls mouth drop
slightly open. "You two are the best things to ever happen to me,
Jennifer, and I love you," she said, right before she kissed her with as
much passion as she had Daria.
In the coming weeks, Helen would see reports about all of the students with
invalidated grades, the teachers and coaches thrown out, arrested and convicted
for their part in the scandal, and how Ms. Li held on to her job by literally
throwing everyone else involved under the bus; and the widespread anger toward
Jane Lane for her part in bringing the scandal to life.
But all of that was for later. For this night, there was only her daughter,
Daria, with her arms around her girlfriends, and the biggest smile that Helen
had ever seen on her face, saying, "Mom, I'm going to spend the night at
Jane's."
13. Episode Eleven and a half
Jane,
Daria and Jen came in the door of Casa Lane, carrying bags of food and
giggling. Jane set her bag down, went over to Trent's sleeping body, and shook
him until he woke up. "But Officer, I didn't know that she was
underage," he mumbled.
"Trent!" Jane said in a loud voice.
"Yeah, Janey?"
"Trent, I love you, but I'm invoking 'need the house' rights under our
agreement."
"But Janey -"
Jane's arms were crossed. "Need I remind you of just how many times you've
invoked them and made me find another place to spend the night?"
He shook his head. "I'll be gone in five, probably over to Jesse's."
And he was. While he had been packing, the girls had been laying pizza and
sodas out on the end of the dining table near the Living room, and closing the
drapes. When he finally left, locking the door behind him, they all collapsed
on the couch, with Jane in the middle, a slice of pizza in everybody's hand,
and their feet up on a trunk they had pulled up to be a coffee table.
In another five minutes they had finished their slices. Jane stretched and
looked from one of her girlfriends to the other. "Well, this has been one
interesting day," she said. "I started out with no one, cycled really
quickly through maybe-a-guy, and now," and here her voice turned soft, "I'm
stuck with you guys." She turned to look straight into Jen's eyes, after
she brushed her hair out of the way. "Can you forgive me for not being
able to say, 'I love you,' when you asked for it?"
Jen's eyes were shiny as she answered. "Of course I can, baby." She
kissed Jane softly. "Like Daria said, it's not worth anything if you don't
think about it, or mean what you say."
"I've got a question." They both turned toward Daria. "What
really changed your mind, Jane?"
Jane blushed. "So you didn't buy what I said earlier?"
Daria smirked. "I bought that it was close enough to the truth not to ding
my mom's BS detector. I know you love m-us, Jane. but something in what you
said doesn't track right."
Jane hung her head. "Oh, all right. I didn't say the whole truth in front
of your mom. But I don't think she wanted to know the whole truth."
"The whole truth?" Jen said from behind her, her chin on Jane's
shoulder, her arms around Jane's stomach.
"Yeah, the whole truth." Jane said, then turned her head slightly and
kissed Jen's cheek. "See, while I've loved you both for a long time, the
secret is that I've been attracted to you both, even longer. Jennifer, you've
always been one of the sexiest girls in school, in my opinion. You'd be very
popular, if that sort of thing appealed to you. And Daria," she turned and
gave an exasperated sigh to her best friend, "You're supposed to have the
big brain. Don't you know there are hundreds of ways to get past a guard like
we did at Brittany's first party, without me acting like your date?" She
watched Daria blush. "I wanted to be there, on your arm." She turned
to Jane, "and on yours, too. I fell in love with you both, very
quickly."
She took a breath. "But in some ways, I'm like Daria. I saw the way the
world treats gays, and I didn't like it. I knew that I was attracted to both
boys and girls, like you, Jen. So I decided that, if I could, I was going to be
partnered with a guy instead of a girl. I was at least going to try that before
I made myself a target."
"And Evan was that?" Daria softly asked. Jane nodded her head.
"And when you found out he was a jerk, you came to us?"
"Umm, well, not exactly." Daria raised her eyebrow as Jane continued.
"When he insulted you was when I quit the team, but...for a couple days,
I'd been trying to get turned on by him, and every time I tried, I just heard
your voices," she said as she stroked Daria's cheek, "and thought
about seeing your faces, feeling your butts and having you feel mine,
and..." Jane was panting a bit, "kissing you, and I'd always cum hard.
Since I already loved both of you, there was no way out." Daria kissed the
thumb Jane stroked across her lips. "As long as you two agree, we're going
to be together. I want to grow old with you."
"Jane," said Daria in a choked voice, "I love you. I'll always
agree." And with that, she leaned forward and kissed Jan on the base of
her throat.
Jen gently stroked Jane's hair away and gently kissed the nape of her neck.
"I love you, too, and I'm yours for as long as you want me, both of
you."
"All three of us," said Daria. "As close as we can get to
marriage, as soon as they'll let us," she said, as she took her trademark
jacket off.
Jane squeaked when she saw that Daria wasn't wearing a bra, and it was
blatantly apparent that she was in favor of this new arrangement.
"Y-Yes," she said, starting to take her own jacket off, only to find
a jacket-less Jen helping her off with it..or so it seemed. When she had the
jacket down to Jane's elbows, she stopped for a moment, and Daria leaned down
and nipped Jane's nipples that were visible through her bra and shirt. When
Jane squealed again, the jacket resumed motion, and Daria started pulling
Jane's shirt out of her shorts while Jane, once she got her hands free of her
jacket, used one of them to stroke Daria's thick hair, and the other to try and
pull Daria's shirt off. Jen's lips occupied Jane's after that.
Noticing what Jane was trying to do, Daria leaned back and took her shirt off,
then leaned forward, grabbed Jane's hands, and put them on her sides. Jane moved
them up and down, then decided they were best used elsewhere, so she cupped
Daria's breasts and ran her thumbs across her nipples, eliciting a moan from
Daria as she leaned back in to kiss her throat.
Jen had seen where this was going, so she got up, and quickly took her shirt,
boots, pants, and bra off, before she sat down and unlatched Jane's bra through
her shirt. With that, she slid her hands under Jane's shirt, and slid the
entire garment off, taking time to cup Jane's breasts, skin on skin, before
lifting the bra off with the shirt. "Mmmmm," was all Jane could say
to that, and Jen nibbled on her earlobe for her trouble, while Daria started
licking around her aureolae and nipples.
Jane's hand stroked farther and farther up Daria's inner thigh with each stroke
of Daria's tongue, until she reached the juncture, and - "No
panties?" she croaked out.
Daria smiled. "When I had to use the restaurant at the pizza place, it
might have been for more than just a call of nature!" she
said, the last syllable reflecting the fact that Jane's fingers had stroked
over her outer labia and erect clit.
"Why, Daria, you're wet for us," Jane said with a merry smile.
Daria blushed, then smiled, herself. "Just for that, Lane, you're going to
have to take your shorts, boots, and leggings of in front of us," and she
nodded to Jen, who had taken her panties off just a moment ago.
"All right, but then I get to see Jen take off your boots." She went
over to the stereo, and put on a Barry White CD. As the music cued up, she
stood on the trunk, and untied her bootlaces. As the music started thumping out
a slow beat, Jane began to dance, finally getting her boots loose enough so
that she could kick a boot to the side of each of her partners. As they sat
there, staring, she stood on one leg, and ran one of her feet, still in
leggings, over the nose and cheek of both Jen and Daria, smiling when she saw
them inhale, and noticed their nipples hardening even more. She turned around,
unzipped her pants, and in one quick motion, pulled her pants, leggings, and
panties to her knees, revealing a gorgeous pussy, framed by straight black
hairs, with liquid drops clinging to them. Squatting, she pushed her clothing
to the top of the trunk, before standing up and getting off the trunk. Daria
stood up, walked over to her, reached out, and pulled her head down for a deep
kiss, where they couldn't tell whose tongue was whose. During the kiss, Jane
ran her hands over Daria's ass, and unfastened her skirt. Finally, they broke
apart, panting.
"Oh, Hell, yeah!" growled Jane, as she guided Daria to the trunk, and
sat down on the couch.
Jen gave a smile to Jane as she knelt by Daria's boots and unlaced them. Jane
sat back, and watched as she put first one, then two, fingers into her tight
pussy, admiring both Daria's body, and Jen's, the smaller girl, and the taller
one, the auburn hair, and the blonde, knowing that they were both hers. Still
in beat with the music, Jen kissed Daria's knee, lifted her leg, and took her
left boot off. Setting it down, she did the same with her right boot. When that
was done, Daria sat on the trunk, leaning back on her arms, in just her socks.
Jen kept hold of Daria's leg, as she took her sock off with her teeth, making
Jane put a third finger into herself. When the sock was off, Jen started to
kiss and lick Daria's toes, slowly making her way up Daria's foot, then ankle,
then calf, and thigh.
She paused for a moment to blow cool air on Daria's clit, which by now had
poked through her labial folds. Then she started kissing her way down Daria's
left leg, where she took Daria's other sock off, again with her teeth. As she
did that, and kissed Daria's left foot, she felt a hand in her hair, and turned
with it to see Daria's face, with her glasses off, her eyes dilated with lust,
just before a tug on that hair brought her into a deep kiss, then pulled her
down to lick at each of Daria's nipples, and finally to her sopping wet pussy,
where pressure put her mouth right on Daria's nether lips, and she happily
started licking.
Watching this from behind Jen, Jane kept rubbing herself, pausing every once in
a while to lick her fingers clean. When Jen finally bent over (well, was bent
by Daria's hand in her hair), Jane couldn't help herself. She put her wet
fingers in Jen's equally wet pussy, while her thumb rubbed gently over Jen's
ass. The effect was electric. Jen, stuck between her two partners, could do
little but hum her appreciation. The humming right over her clit acted like a
live wire to Daria.
"Oh fuck Oh fuck oh fuckohfuckofuck!" she threw back her head and
yelled as Jen brought her off. Her orgasm, or possibly orgasms, lasted almost a
minute, during which time her legs closed around Jen's head.
Jen wasn't ignored, either. Jane decided to stroke and gently squeeze Jen's clit
with her hitherto free hand. That, combined with the pressure from Daria's
legs, sent her into orbit, as well, pushing Daria higher in feedback loop.
Finally, after several minutes, the girls relaxed.
Daria looked at Jen. "You know, there is someone here who hasn't cum
yet," she remarked casually, as she winked at her blonde lover. They both
leaped on Jane, Jen's lips giving her a taste of what Daria's pussy was like,
while her hair draped over Jane's breasts, and her hand stroked under them. Daria,
meanwhile, was lapping at Jane's messily wet pussy, her tongue lapping all
around Jane's vagina, while her nose rubbed Jane's clit and her hand's clinched
Jane's ass. With all of this happening at once, it was no time before Jane was
cumming like firecrackers, which turned on her partners even more, which made
her peak higher. The last thing Jane remembered was screaming their names.
When Daria awoke, it was nearly midnight. She got her sleepy partners up,
kissed them, and led them to Jane's bedroom, where they collapsed on Jane's
bed; She went down, put the food in the fridge, and set things up so that Trent
wouldn't be shocked in the morning. As she climbed the stairs to join her
lovers, she thought, We're gonna need a king-sized bed, soon.
14. Episode Twelve
Daria, Jane, and
Jen barely made it out of the house in time to make it to school before the
bell, but they walked the entire way holding hands, and all sporting smiles
that were uncharacteristically wide for each of them. They walked quickly
enough to make it on time, so they were slightly puzzled when a security guard
stopped them outside the door, and pointed them over to a posting on an A-frame
board.
By the order of the School Board of this District,
This School will be CLOSED until this FRIDAY,
when there will be an EMERGENCY MEETING at
7PM in the AUDITORIUM, with Students, Parents, and the Public
welcome to Attend.
Daria looked at the officer. "Can we get any of our things out of our
lockers?"
The officer looked back at her. "Only if you really can't live without it
for a few days," he said. "I was you, unless I really needed it, I
wouldn't ask." He glanced around, as if to make sure nobody else was
listening, then bent forward. "They've got cops all over the place, and
where there ain't cops, there's people from the District. They're looking
through everything." He shuddered. "People are getting
arrested, more are losin' their jobs, and no one's in the mood to escort you to
your locker."
Daria shook her head. "Thanks, anyway, it wasn't that important." She
gestured to her girlfriends, and they made their way to Daria's house.
Once they got there, Quinn was waiting for them. "Daria, Mom left a
message for you." She held it out to her. "She wants to talk to us
both when she gets home at five."
Daria quickly opened the note and scanned it, checking that it said what Quinn
said it did (which it did, with the added caveat that she wanted Jane and Jen
to be present, as well. Showing it to her lovers, she said, "Well, looks
like we'll have at least today off. I know how I'd like to use it," she
winked at them. Then she took another breath and blew it out. But does anyone
besides me think that this may be the last day we can get things done for a
while?"
"Huh?" Both Jane and Quinn looked confused.
"Maybe I'm wrong," said Daria, "But I can't shake the feeling
that we'll have a lot of fingers pointed at us, very soon."
The rest of the day was spent looking at beds on the Internet, painting,
reading, and writing, interspersed with kissing and groping. Finally, they
heard the sound of Helen's car in the driveway. They all got up and walked
downstairs, where they met Helen, Quinn, and, surprisingly, Jake. Helen
gestured toward the living room and said, "Let's all have a seat."
Once they all had taken their seats, Helen spoke again. "There's some good
news, some bad news, and some things that we just don't know yet." She
looked around at everyone. "I'm sure that you girls know that the school
is closed for the week, and have guessed the reason why. With the police having
to execute several warrants, both search and arrest, in Lawndale High, the
Superintendent for the Lawndale School District felt compelled to start its own
investigation. All I have are some preliminary findings, but, girls," and
she looked over Daria, Jane, and Jen, "you would have caused less damage
to the school if you had blown it up.
"The good news, such as it is, is this: The courts have ruled that your
tapes are admissible evidence. That means that their evidence, as well as
what's being collected now, is all admissible; Ms. Morris will be convicted and
serve time. Other teachers who have broken the law are going down. Because we
are about to get so much business from this incident, I'm getting a substantial
raise, though the firm itself is going to have at least two separate units, so
that my associates don't have to recuse themselves when they represent teachers
or students. Separately, from what I hear, Ms. Li is so busy trying to save her
job, that by the end of this, she may not have any allies or markers left.
"The bad news - well, there's a good deal of bad news. To start off with,
it's common knowledge that you three instigated this 'sting.' It's too
widespread, we can't contain it now. Also -" She was cut off when Jane
raised her hand.
"Why would that be a bad thing? I mean, isn't it usually good when someone
does the right thing?"
Helen nodded. "Normally it is, Jane, but when a school depends as much on
its football advertising revenue as this one does -"
Jen interrupted her. "Football revenues? I thought we 'stung' the track
team."
Helen pressed her lips together. "You did, Jen. It's just that, in their
effort to put away the track team, evidence was found that implicated the
football team, as well. It also implicated a far larger amount of teachers. In
any case, when the school depends as much on its football advertising revenues
as this one does, there are going to be many unhappy businesspeople when a
competent team can't be fielded. Add to that the number of athletes who will be
banned from playing, or worse, held back, because they've been skating on the
system for far too long, and their parents. Add to that all of the teachers
who've been let go because of this incident, and you have a good many people looking
very hard for the bullseyes that have been painted on each of your backs."
"No good deed goes unpunished," growled Daria.
"Yes, Daria, but to be honest, institutions need housecleaning from time
to time, and even from what I've heard so far, it was past time for this
one," Helen replied.
"Your mother and I have talked about this, girls, and it's very likely
that Morgendorffer Consulting's client list is going to drop in a big way -
Damned JOCKS!" Jake said, before a soft word and Helen's hand on his arm
settled him down. "Anyway, the only client we're counting on staying with
us is Mystic Spiral."
"So, financially, this is a wash for us?" Daria asked.
"More or less," her mother replied. "More to the point, though,
we don't have enough to send you to a boarding school, or the like, so you will
be there for people to attack. I don't know how bad it will get, but I've been
advised that having extra security around the house would be a very good
idea." She took a breath, and let out a sigh. "That's why I asked for
you girls to come today. You need, at the least, to be aware of what's coming,
and we may be able to help you in some way."
"Oh, crap." Everyone looked and saw Jane, her face white, her head in
her her hands, and her eyes staring a thousand yards away. "You're telling
me that people are gonna get hurt because of me? As in, 'We need you to have a
bodyguard,' because of me? All I wanted was for people to have to go through
what I had to, to get a grade. Is that so hard?" Daria and Jen grabbed
each of her hands and kissed them, while Helen knelt before her.
"No, Jane, it isn't so hard. But sometime long ago, there was an athlete
who was very good, and just failing by a little in one class, and so the coach
went to the teacher, and said, 'It's just a little change, and just this one
time...' But then there was a next time, and a next, and the change
needed to be more and more, until practically all the sports teams ran on it,
with almost every athlete getting at least one bye." She tilted Jane's
face up, and looked into her eyes. "People who get things like that,
whether they've deserved them or not, get angry when their things are taken
away. You did nothing wrong. You were just the person to notice that the
emperor had no clothes."
Giving Jane's hand a squeeze, Daria spoke up. "Mom, I don't feel safe with
Jane in her house. Now that Mystic Spiral's touring more, she's alone a
lot." She looked over to her other girlfriend. "I know that Jen has
her father and brothers, but I don't know what their reaction is going to be to
all of this, or even if she's come out to them." She took a deep breath.
"I guess what I'm asking is if one or both of them could stay over during
this, if they have to."
Jen looked up. "I haven't," she said. "More because I'm not
around much than because I'm afraid...but I don't think that they'd react too
good."
Helen got up, murmured something into Jake's ear, then said softly to him,
"I'll handle it." She turned around and said, "That's mostly
what we had to say. We'll discuss things again after the meeting Friday. Daria,
Jane, Jen, could you stay after?" With that, Jake and Quinn went upstairs.
When she was sure that they were gone, Helen turned and faced the girls.
"I know that there is a very real risk of things getting...rough,"
she said. "And I told you before to call on me for help. Furthermore, I'm
not going to ask what went on between you last night. You're past the age of
consent, you all act at least reasonably mature when I'm around. So if you two
need it, you may stay here for the duration of this...crisis." She looked
at Jane and Jen and smiled. "Since there's no risk of pregnancy, and a
minimal risk of STDs - you all are virgins as far as men are concerned,
correct?" Seeing no blushes, she went on. "Because of that, I will
try to respect your privacy." Her mouth firmed. "However, this is no
Playboy mansion away from home. If you feel the need to have your...intimate
encounters in public, and no, I don't mean kissing, then I'll have to rescind
my invitation. I don't feel the need to watch teenagers getting frisky in the
living room, and I don't think Jake or Quinn does, either." She waited
until all three had nodded back to her before continuing. "That being
said, I'm not sure how we'll handle the extra bodies."
"Mom?" Daria spoke up. "I think I may have a solution, or at
least part of one. Earlier today, we were looking at finding a king-sized bed
at the thrift store, because, whether we're having sex or not, it's
uncomfortable for three of us to sleep on anything smaller." She smirked.
"Why don't we set that up in the garage, as an extra room? If we find that
we are being bottlenecked by bathroom usage, we can convert the big sink out
there to a shower and sink. We've got plenty of room out there."
"I think that we can make that work," Helen said. "But Jane, I
want Trent to call me, so that I can tell him the situation, and Jen, I want to
talk to your father, just so we have parental consent. I won't bring up
sleeping arrangements," she continued, looking at Jen, "and if he
asks, I'll tell him you're sleeping in Daria's room, because I don't want to
cause even more trouble for you."
"Thanks, Mom," Daria said. "We'll probably start that tomorrow,
to late to get it all done today."
"Well, I can get in touch with Trent, so I'll stay here tonight, if I
can," said Jane.
Do you mind if I stay here tonight without calling, Helen?" asked Jen.
"I promise that it's not the first time I've done it."
Helen thought, then finally shrugged her shoulders. "All right. But you give
me his contact information by the time I leave for work, or you won't be able
to stay tomorrow night. Fair enough?"
"Deal."
"And now that that's done," broke in Daria, "I've got a
coffeehouse gig to do."
When they got to the coffeehouse, the door was locked. After a few minutes of
banging on the door, Mr. O'Neill opened the door. His face was red, as if he'd
just been crying. He looked out, saw the girls, sniffed, and said, "Your
-sniff- services are no longer -sniff- needed, Ms. Morgendorffer." He
tried to close the door, but Daria stopped it with her foot.
"What, you mean you're firing me?"
"Let's just say that we're neglecting to ask you back, as you suggested
the first day that you came here, Daria. -sniff- It's probably for the best,
you might not get as warm a welcome as you usually -sniff- do. Can I close my
door, please?" Daria withdrew her foot, and the door closed and locked,
leaving the girls to slowly walk away down Degas street. At first they were
separate, but then Daria grabbed both of their hands.
"Yeah, it may make us more targets, but we're targets anyway. I'm Daria
Morgendorffer, I'm a lesbian, and I love both of you. If anyone has a problem
with that, well, screw them." And so they continued on, until Daria's
cellphone rang. "Hello?" she said. "Hey... Yes. Out walking on
Degas Street. I don't have any ideas right now...yeah, I can do that.
Bye." As her girlfriends looked at her, she said, "Just someone
working on a project with me." They both got confused looks, but shrugged
and kept walking, until they were in front of Axl's Piercing Parlour. The
designs for the tattoos in the windows amused them all, until Jen dragged them
in. "Don't you remember the one the girl and the guy got on Buffy?"
In about an hour, they were on their way home. When they got home, almost the
first words out of Helen's mouth when she saw their forearms were, "What
the hell are those?"
15. Episode Thirteen
The doctor walked
into the waiting room. "Family of Daria Morgendorffer?" Five people
stood up, one pushing another in a wheelchair, and a middle-aged couple came
forward, their hands entwined.
"We're Jake and Helen Morgendorffer," the petite woman said.
"How is Daria?"
"She's stable, for the moment," he said, and sighs of relief could be
heard from all of them. "Having said that, she is still in a very serious
condition. She's suffered a severe concussion, three broken ribs, one of which
punctured a lung, some internal abdominal bleeding that we've got a handle on,
and her knee." He took a deep breath, sighed, and continued. "Her
knee is the least immediately life-threatening injury, but, at a minimum, we're
looking at complete knee reconstruction. If things go wrong, there may be
problems with her walking again." After the gasps had died down, he looked
at them. "We're setting that whole problem aside until we can get her out
of the woods with her other injuries. I'm sorry that I didn't have better
news." And with that, he turned and made his way back into the bowels of
the hospital.
Helen turned to the two girls who were crying in each other's arms, which was
made difficult by the fact that one of them was in the wheelchair. She knelt by
the girl and said, softly, "Jane, I haven't asked, because it was more
important that we get Daria treated. But what happened?"
Jane kept sobbing. "She...got hurt protecting me," -sniff-
"Helen. She might have been killed for me." She was about to go on,
when she heard a very loud, "HAH!" She looked up to see Quinn.
"Jane, you should know better than anyone else, that Daria never does
anything that she doesn't want to. You are not to blame for what
happened. She made the choice, and when she wakes up, she'll be annoyed
that you thought anything different."
"Regardless, Jane, Jen," Helen looked up at the blonde next to the
wheelchair. "Tell me what happened. Now."
Jane wiped away her tears. "It started that Friday, at the School Board
meeting..."
Daria, Jen, and Jane were sitting next to Helen in the bleachers of the
stadium, where the meeting had been moved when it became obvious that the
auditorium just wouldn't hold everyone attending, listening to Superintendent
Cartwright discuss the repercussions of the sting.
"...and among the losses that we've had in our faculty have been, besides
the entire Physical Education Department, Bennett in the Economics
Department,..."
"Who was up to her eyeballs in it," said Jane softly.
"...Mrs. Manson, who had been discovered to be working on a falsified
Psychology degree,..."
"Now there's a surprise," snarked Daria.
"...O'Neill of the Language Arts Department,"
"Who never had the nerve to stand up to Li, and is getting tossed under
the bus for his troubles," said Jen.
"...Barch of Science, who wasn't implicated in this scandal, but who had
been caught badly slanting grades both in favor of her female students, and
against her male students..."
"And they just picked up on this now?" wondered Daria.
"I told you, Daria, a housecleaning was in order. Quiet down, please, so
we can hear what else he has to say." Helen returned her attention to the
Superintendent.
"...and that's most of the personnel changes that we'll be going through.
To be honest, we don't have enough staff to finish out the year, and the rot is
widespread enough that we can't guarantee that anybody's grades are valid.
"So what we're going to do is this. In a week, we're going to draw upon
staff from other districts, and administer standardized tests in all subjects
but the fine arts; in those subjects, we will have, again, other staff
evaluating the work of our students. In all cases, should the test scores or
independent evaluation of the work be within ten points of the previous grade,
whichever is highest will stand; otherwise, the standardized test or
independent evaluation will be the grade.
"To provide for those students that may have just been caught up in the
system, there will be a second set of tests given two weeks before classes
resume in the fall. The school grounds will be open all summer, and the
District will pay any student who has made an 'A' in a class, twenty-five
dollars an hour per student to tutor in that subject. If a student passes
either of the tests, they will be passed on to the next year. Should they fail
both, however, they will suffer the normal consequences of class failure. Are
there any questions?"
And there were, but none that really concerned the girls. Daria turned to her
girlfriends and said, "I think that we should sign up for these tutoring
jobs, then spend the rest of our time studying for the finals."
"Why do we want these tutoring jobs?" asked Jane.
"Let's face it, nobody else is going to hire us, and no matter how they
dislike us, people know that we're the best in our individual subjects. They
are going to be desperate to pass, and with the district footing the
bill..."
"I see your dastardly plan," said Jen, with a smile. "I wonder
how many people are going to be surprised that I average an 'A' in
Algebra?"
As they were walking out from the meeting, they ran into Brittany.
"Ohhh!" she said as she stamped her foot when she saw them.
"And why are you unhappy, Brittany?" asked Daria.
"You - you - Oooh! We're not going to have any teams to cheer for next
year!"
"Brittany, we did not make those athletes skip studying so that they could
go to parties and get wasted. We did not put together the system where they
were able to cheat so easily. Hell, we didn't even push this whole pile of
crap. Jane wanted to stop being on the track team, and Morris was going to
blackmail her to keep her on it. She just protected herself."
"And you think that Jane's more important than the Lawndale Lions?"
Daria looked at her as if she were a deeply stupid child. "Well,
duh!" and the girls turned and walked away, hand in hand in hand.
The next day, Daria talked to her mother in private, in her office. "Mom,
I'd like your permission to make this fake tattoo permanent." She looked
down. "I know that we're young, but I really do love them." She
looked up. "Add to that the fact that this doesn't have their names, and
if I ever really want to make it work without them, I just have to add tattoos
to either side. Mom, Trent wants to give this to Jane as her birthday present,
and I'd like to do that, too." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You do
know that there are enough shops that we could go to to get this done that
wouldn't care what age we are...heck, even Axl would do it, if we told him we
were eighteen. I'm asking."
Helen sighed and remembered how she had reacted when the girls had shown her
the fake tattoos on their forearms, Daria's in the center with Jane and Jen on
either side, the three arms making a large heart with the word
"love," written on it. They hadn't shrunk away from her screech at
all, just gave her three big smiles as they told her they weren't real tattoos.
"Do you understand, Daria, that that will still be there when you're
seventy?"
"If I make it to seventy, you mean," Daria said. "Listen, Mom,
on the off chance I do live that long, I can think of a lot sillier things to
be written on my skin than an homage to love. Can't you?"
Helen sighed. "Oh, all right. If you use your own money, I'll give my
permission. I'll want to see your care instructions when you get it, so that it
will look the best it can."
Over the next week, they had to clean eggs and rotten fruit off the house
almost every day, but the security guard in the car across the street said that
it was never the same truck, they never stopped, and they had their license
plates covered. It became a daily chore for the girls to clean the mess up.
Finally, the test day came. The standardized tests were instantly graded, and
each student got his grade the moment he handed it in and the reader scanned
it. Daria was unsurprised that she got all 'A's, and equally unsurprised that
Kevin, among others, had failed more than one class. His, "But I'm the
QB!" sounded more than once through the halls of LHS. Jane had done well
in some classes(getting an 'A+' in Art, of course), and poorly in some, though
she passed everything. Jen got 'B's and 'C's in everything but Algebra, where
she got an 'A'.
In the end, almost all of the football squad had failed enough classes to be
held back, if they didn't pass in the fall. That was better than the track
squad, where all of the students not in juvenile hall had failed several tests.
The girls had had a lot of "clients" for the summer, and their first
week as tutors passed without incident.
Then one member of the football team, Randy Miller(who thought he looked cool
because of his Van Dyke beard), asked for Jane's help as an art tutor. He said
that he had a summer day job, so that they needed to meet after most people
were gone for the day, at 6pm. This sounded fishy to Daria, so they all decided
to come.
It wasn't a complete surprise to the girls to see most of the football team
waiting for them in the art room. Randy grabbed Jane by the lapels of her
jacket, said, "So you don't want to run? Good!" before smashing his
foot down with all of his 300 pounds of force behind it, breaking several bones
in Jane's feet. He was going to start kicking her, when Daria brought out a
canister of pepper spray and hit him in the eyes, making him collapse. Seeing
Mack among the players, she asked him, "Why, Mack?" then turned to
Jen, and said, "Get her out of here!"
"But-" Jen said, hesitating.
"Now, Burns!" She lowered her voice. "I don't know how much
longer I can hold them off!" Turning back to Mack, she said in her
monotone, "Well, Mack?"
"Damn it, Daria! You've made it impossible for me to get a scholarship! I
might not be failing, but I'm not going to college if I don't get an athletic
scholarship. And you've just taken out any real chance of that, because any
football team we field in the next year or two is going to be crap!" While
he had been talking, Daria had been watching Jen from the corner of her eye,
literally carrying Jane down the hallway, finally turning the corner.
Keeping the pepper spray out, she reached into her purse and pressed 911 on her
phone, then said, "And now you're here in the Lawndale High School Art
room, going to beat the hell out of me in retaliation?"
"Looks like it," said one of the other players, "And that pepper
spray ain't going to take all of us down."
It took the first two down, until one of the players closed his eyes and
grabbed her arm and took it out, while another two literally tackled her into
the steel door frame, knocking her out and causing her to crumple to the floor.
The field goal kicker had finished kicking her right in the knee, several
times, and was beginning on her ribs, when Mack looked at her purse.
"Shit! She called 911! Let's get out of here!"
Things were fuzzy when Daria opened her eyes, though whether that was because
of the pounding in her head, or just because her glasses were off, she couldn't
tell. "If..this..is.. a hangover," she rasped, "I -" she
didn't continue, because everyone in Lawndale that she cared about was gathered
around her, hugging whatever part of her they could touch.
Someone handed her her glasses, and as they were put on, Daria saw her mother
come into focus. "Daria, you gave us a scare." Helen stood, tears
streaming down her face.
"Yeah," She turned her head and saw Jane, resting on crutches.
"I'd officially ask that you not do that so much."
A squeeze on her hand brought her attention to Jen, who said,
"Please?"
"My God, popular people did this?" Quinn asked. "I'm so
glad I didn't go too far into that."
"Yeah, popular people." Jake offered Daria a sip of water, which she
gladly took. "Including Mack, which was a surprise, and not including
Kevin, which was a bigger one."
"Based on Jen's and Jane's statements, and evidence left at the scene, the
great majority of the football team is going to be spending the rest of their
school careers as guests of the state." Helen shook her head. "You
were your own best advocate, calling 911 so that hey could get there in time to
save you."
"How bad is it?" asked Daria.
"We won't know until after they operate on your knee." Helen looked
down. "The rest, though severe, you'll be over in a few weeks."
Daria nodded, and stroked the tattoo on her forearm. "Can I tutor from
this room?"
The rest of her family cracked up.
This was downloaded and reposted to Outpost Daria Reborn with permission from the author. Original Download From: https://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-26513