Daria

in

Seeking Trent

 

Scene 1 - Dariaís room morning.

Quinn: (in cutesy nightwear) Daria your weird friend is on the phone and itís interrupting my beauty sleep. Not that I need beauty sleep, but it is just rude.† Not everyone is as blessed as I am with natural cuteness. I mean just look at you. You need all-

Daria: (cutting her off) For the love of god give me the damned phone and go back to bed.

Quinn: Fine here. (Exit Quinn)

Daria: Okay whatís up, and why are you?

Jane: (now split screen, Jane with her bed hair, biting her lip, looking worried) Is Trent there? Have you seen him lately?

Daria: Sure Jane heís under my bed getting ready to pull a Freddy Kruger. Why whatís going on?

Jane: I havenít seen him in almost a week.

Daria: Are you sure heís not lost in the wastelands asleep? Or somewhere with the band.

Jane: I waded through his room three times and the guys are here cause he missed a gig last night. Iíve looked in every room and even checked the tent.

Daria: Have you tried his friends?

Jane: What friends? Between the band, sleep, and us he doesnít have time for anything or anyone else.

Daria: What about Monique?

Jane: Theyíre broke up this week, but itís worth a shot. Iíll call you right back

Daria: Okay bye.

Jane: (dials phone and waits a moment) Monique?

Monique: (now seen in the split screen) Yeah?

Jane: Hi this is Jane.

Monique: Who.

Jane: Jane Lane, you know, Trentís sister.† You havenít seen him in the last week or so have you?

(We hear muffled voices and thumps and voices in the background)

Monique: I havenít seen him since we broke up.

Jane: Your sure he hasnít called or anything?

Monique: I havenít seen or heard from him Joan.

Jane: Thatís Jane.

Monique: Whatever. (She hangs up)

Jane: (looking at the phone) That was weird.

(She redials Daria who picks up on the first ring)

Daria: Well?

Jane: No go. Trent isnít having a sweaty affair with his ex. She claims she hasnít seen him.

Daria: Claims?

Jane: Yeah. She sounded rushed and a little weird ... even for Monique.

Daria: So whatís next? Interrogate the band?

Jane: It looks like that is my only option. If I go to the police and try to report a Lane as a missing person theyíd laugh their collective arses off.

Daria: Iíll be right over.

(End scene 1)

Scene 2 - Lane basement morning.

(Daria enters the basement and takes in the scene; Max and Nick are sitting in a corner arguing over music, Jesse is asleep in on a bean bag chair, and Jane is positioning a desk lamp to shine in his face.)

Daria: (Deadpan) Should I go get the implements of torture?

Jane: Alas, heís a member of Mystic Spiral, normal torture techniques just wonít work. They make themselves suffer whenever they practice.

Daria: Who said anything about normal torture?

(Daria pulls a piece of cake wrapped up on a plate and a plastic spork out of her backpack. Jane wakes Jesse as Daria unwraps the cake. )

Daria: (Holding the cake in front of Jesse) When was the last time you saw Trent, Jesse?

Jesse: It was last Monday and he stopped by to look for his songbook. (He reaches for the cake, but Daria pulls it back)

Jane: Did he say where he was going?

Jesse: He said he was gonna check with Max and see if he knew where he left it.

Daria: Thatís the last time you saw him?

Jesse: Yeah.

Jane: (Takes the cake from Daria and hands it to Jesse) Okay youíre free to go eat your cake.

Jesse: Cool. (He takes his plate and wonders off)

Jane and Daria: (Look at each other and as one) Oh Max!

(A few minutes later, Max is now seated in a steel chair and we see the desk lamp is back in use and pointed in his eyes. Daria and Jane circle him obviously playing bad cop/bad cop and Max looks decidedly nervous.)

Daria: (Leaning in) Trent came to see you Monday didnít he, Max?

Max: Ye-es, he was looking for his songbook, and -

Jane: (Interrupting) He came looking for the songbook you stole right, Max?

Max: (Really nervous now) No, no. I mean yeah he came over, but I didnít have the book. He said heíd already tried the other guys, and he wanted to look in the tank. I told him to go ahead and look and I went back to my soap op- I mean my Jackie Chan movie.

Daria: A likely story.

Jane: Where were you on the night of June 21st of last year.

Max: I... we... you... uh.

(Max passes out)

Daria: I just hope the damn peanut butter smell is gone.

Jane: It wasnít the last time I rode in it.

Daria: Damn! Oh well, to the Tank.

(End scene 2)

Scene 3 - The tank interior POV the side door.

(The door opens to reveal our heroes)

Jane: Ah the smell of ancient peanut butter in the morning.

Daria: I hate you Lane. Letís get this damn thing over with. You take the back and Iíll take the front.

(They proceed to search the van)

Jane: Aha! Evidence.

Daria: Whatíd you find?

Jane: A long dark brown hair.

Daria: Itís probably mine, you twit.

Jane: No itís not. Itís a darker brown with a blond root.

(They look at each other for a moment)

Jane: Monique!

(End scene 3)

Scene 4 - A hallway above a shop on Dega St.

(Daria and Jane stand in front of a brightly painted door)

Daria: Are you sure this is Moniqueís place?

Jane: (Knocking on the door) Yeah Iím sure.

(We hear a thump and footsteps then the door is opened revealing Monique)

Monique: Jenn, hi whatís up?

Jane: Thatís Jane, and I wanted to talk to you about Trent.

Monique: I told you I havenít seen him.

Daria: Then it wonít hurt to you any to sit and have a conversation now will it?

Jane: Of course it wonít.

(Jane brushes past Monique and into a nicely decorated living room with several chairs and a big overstuffed couch. There are large potted plants on end tables on either side of the couch and nicely framed photos on the walls. An archway leads to the kitchen, two more doors lead from the living room. Both doors are closed)

Monique: (Hurries in after them and starts picking up papers and a few other things cluttering up the living room) Have a seat. Iíll just get you something to drink.

(She rushes into the kitchen without waiting for a reply. Jane and Daria look at each other for a moment then they have a seat on the couch)

Daria: That's all right.

(Monique is already gone to the kitchen. Daria and Jane look around the room. Daria has a thoughtful look on her face. They donít really see anything out of place. Suddenly, Dariaís face gets a look of dawning realization, and she turns to Jane as if to speak; however, Monique returns with a tray.)

Monique: I hope herbal tea is okay.

(Daria and Jane both nod and take a cup)

Jane: Anyway, Like I was saying, we were looking for Trent. No one has seen him since Monday afternoon.

Daria: At least no one who will admit it.

(At this point Daria stands up leans over and points to a picture on the wall)

Daria: Is this you and the Harpies?

Monique: (Looking quite thrown) Yes, yes it is.

Daria: Did you ever leave the band?

Monique: I might one day, but I value loyalty.

Jane: Anyway, if behind the music is over, Trent is missing and his carís gone. He may be flaky, but heíd never leave town without telling me first.

(Jane and Daria both start drinking their tea.)

Jane: (Seems more relaxed) So we were just wondering if maybe Trent had said or done anything that might give us a clue as to were he could be.

(Daria seems to be staring off into la-la land and Jane is not far behind both seem very sleepy, Jane even goes as far as to snuggle down into the sofa.)

Monique: Well June Like I said before I havenít see or heard from him in quite a while.

Jane: (Almost asleep) That's Jane. (Dariaís already asleep and Jane closes her eyes and starts drifting off.)

(Monique sits watching them for a few moments and evil little smirk playing across her face. She stands and moves to the close door next to the kitchen she pulls a key from her pocket and opens the door.)

Monique: Now heís all mine. (Pan from Monique around the room until the view stops on the bed. Here we see Trent lying on the bed his hands cuffed to the headboard. Heís wearing his typical slacker garb {So donít get any ideas you pervs so says the perverted kettle calling the skillet black.})

(Monique: moves across the room to a desk with a computer on it. She sits down and logs in. After a few moments some one reading over her shoulder would see this: LUVSLAVES.com classifieds and bulletin board. Monique goes to the bulletin board)

Monique: (Talking to herself as she types) Now for some creative advertising to get rid of those two nosey brats. Hmm... How bout bespectacled brainy beauty and raven-haired artist, both for sale. Post your bids here before midnight tonight est. must be able to pick up in Lawndale.

Daria: Excuse me, but do you know, kidnapping, drugging, and slavery are all against the law? Unless of course youíre selling Quinn and her little fashion fiends to a Sheik from the Middle East.

Monique: (Shocked) What the hell are you doing awake?

Daria: You call me a brain and you think that Iím gonna drink some of your ííherbalĒ tea after watching you run to the kitchen with Trentís song book like all the hounds of hell were after you. Even Quinn wouldnít be that stupid.

Monique: Your little friend was.

Daria: Jane hasnít seen Trentís songbook lately I have and I recognized it. And I poured your little herbal cocktail in to one of your plants when I looked at your picture. I couldnít warn Jane but I knew you wouldnít dare hurt Trentís sister.

Monique: Ok, you didnít drink the tea.† So what?† Iím still in control. (She starts to advance on Daria)

Daria: Oh youíre in control all right... (Looks at watch) For about ten more minutes. I called Lawndaleís finest.

Monique: (Panics for a moment then slowly starts to smile) Your lying I was online, your totally full of it.

Daria: Youíd be amazed at technology today. (She holds up Helenís cell phone.) These things just keep getting smaller and smaller.

(The cell phone rings.)

Daria: (Answering phone) No Eric, this is her daughter. Sheís at home, call her there. No I canít just take a message. (She hangs up the phone and resumes talking with Monique.) So how do you want to do this; spilling your guts in typical Scooby Doo fashion, or would you rather reveal your diabolical plan while you try to kill me, just like a Bond villain?

Monique: I just wanted to keep Trent, and I would have him, if it wasnít for you, you nosy BITCH!

Daria: (Deadpan) Scooby-Doo it is then.

Monique: (ignoring her) I lost an earring in the tank, on the way home from a gig. I went to get it back and found Trentís songbook. I just wanted to see what he had written about me, I hadnít heard any thing new since he wrote ICEBOX WOMAN for me. But what do I see? Heís writing about someone else, some new muse whoís inspiring him. I couldnít stand it. I took his damn book and left him a note in the tank, telling him to come and get it. A little Ďíherbal' tea and a set of cuffs, and he was mine. That is until his brat sister, Jean and her friend came looking into things that donít concern them. (She suddenly rushes at Daria, who instinctively defends herself. Daria gets off a lucky punch, and Monique falls to the floor unconscious. )

Daria: Her names Jane you psycho BITCH.

(End Scene 4)

Scene 5 - A few day later, Daria and Jane on there way to school.

Jane: I canít believe Trent slept through most of a kidnapping.

Daria: It must be a Lane thing, after all you slept through our gallant rescue.

Jane: Ha Iím not the one who sat back while Psycho Bitch slipped her friend a Mickey.

Daria: Look on the bright side, if your ever short on cash you now know how to knock me out and sell me to the highest bidder.

Jane: Speaking of which you want to know how much youíre going for these days?

Daria: What do you mean?

Jane: Trent knew Moniqueís password, apparently she talks to herself while surfing, so I logged on last night just to see what weíre worth.

Daria: And?

Jane: Well Iím now the property of some guy who goes by CrazyNutso. As bad as that sounds though he claimed he only wanted me for my artistic abilities. He wanted me to do drawings for his web site.

Daria: So who should I be bowing and scrapping before?

Jane: Youíre not going to believe it, but who ever bought you is from Lawndale. He bid over a thousand dollars and said heíd go as high as it takes. Guess what his screen name was?

Daria: Gee I donít know. Was it Rumplstiltskin?

Jane: No. he went by the screen name Feisty1_4chas

Daria: (FACE FAULTS) EEP!

(Daria and Jane look at each other and shudder)

Jane: You should have hit the Bitch harder.

THE END

 

Author's notes: The story you just read is my first finished attempt at fan fiction in any form. The story is mine; the characters belong to MTV. Any constructive criticism can be sent to thea_zara@yahoo.com