The Return Of Beavis

The Stupidity Boundless Series

by Scarlet


Episode 101

The Return of Beavis




(Open upon the exterior of Lawndale High School, cut to the interior of the school, Daria and Jane are just arriving, the halls are empty)


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† I still canít believe that you forgot that itís a school day today.You know itís only the second day back.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Come on, Daria.You know it can take me weeks to get back into a routine.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† You could have at least forgotten any other day when we donít have DeMartino first up.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Oh, God.Now I wish I didnít wake up.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Or that Trent wasnít still up to let me into your room. He had another late practice session last night.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Or early.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Whatever.


(The girls smirk to each other as they enter Mr DeMartinoís room to begin their days worth of inanity)


DeMartino:††††††††† Thank you, ladies, for deciding to finally show up.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Deadpan) Weíre only five minutes late.


DeMartino:††††††††† Well, Ms Lane, would you care to explain why it is you and Ms Morgendorffer were not five minutes earlier to class?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Approaching her seat) Not really, itís not a very interesting story.


DeMartino:††††††††† (Growls to himself) Well, if you two were any earlier you might have noticed that we have a new student and a new topic.


Jodie:††† ††††††††††††††††† (Leans over to Daria and whispers) Itís about the Spanish Inquisition.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Usual deadpan) Now thereís a topic I didnít expect.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† No-one expects a topic on the Spanish Inquisition.Wait, wasnít there something about a new student.


DeMartino:††††††††† (Turns to face a boy with very unkempt blond hair who looks very familiar and speaks to him with a hint of evil in his voice) Now, I know some people would say itís unfair for me to ask a student to think on their first day in a new class, but, Beavis, outline for us just what the Spanish Inquisition was.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† What the hell?


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, like, masturbating in Taco Bell?


(Dariaís expression turns from one of stoic boredom to complete panic, she gets up from her desk with the intention of hiding in the girls bathroom but instead faints as she rises thus collapsing in a heap to the side of her desk)


DeMartino:††††††††† (Was definitely not expecting an answer that bad) I agree whole-heartedly, Ms Morgendorffer.(Noticing that Daria hasnít moved) Ms Morgendorffer?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Daria?


(Cut to Mr OíNeilís classroom [Music:Deftones Ė Knife Prty], standard layout with the Fashion Club sitting at the desks at the rear of the room)


OíNeil:†††††††††††††††††† And so, tonight I want each and every one of you to choose a text to parody and bring it into tomorrowís class.


Tiffany:†††††††††††††††††† (Slowly) God, when will teachers figure out that books are sooo geeky.


Sandi:††††††††††††††††††††† Itís like they donít understand that popular people just donít have time for such trivial matters.


Jamie:†††††††††††††††††††† Does it matter what kind of text it is?


OíNeil:†††††††††††††††††† Not at all, uh, Jeremy, it can be anything you want.


(All the boys in the class yell ďAll right!Ē in chorus)


Stacy:†††† ††††††††††††††††† That means we can just bring in Waif.


Tiffany:†††††††††††††††††† Buuut, thatís not a book.


Sandi:††††††††††††††††††††† Stacy, I hope you were just kidding when you mentioned making fun of Waif.


Stacy:†††† ††††††††††††††††† Eep!


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† Why not just use an older copy, you know, like, one thatís now outdated?Like last monthís?


Sandi:††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, you may have a point there.


(Cut to the Nurseís Office, [Music:Red Hot Chilli Peppers Ė Midnight], Daria awakens on one of the sick beds and rubs her head)


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Welcome back to the land of the living brain-dead, amiga.(Hands Daria her glasses) I believe these are yours?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Thanks, Jane.What the hell just happened?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† The hands on the clock moved a little like they have for most of the day.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† In class.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Faux surprise) Oh, that!Nothing other than you going into hysterics and landing face first on the floor.


Daria:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Rising from the sick bed) So it wasnít just a paranoid delusion.Um, sorry about that.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Donít worry; I got out of History for ten minutes, which is definitely better than nothing.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† This cannot be happening.Was that really Beavis?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† You know him?This story Iíve just gotta hear.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Canít it wait until lunch?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Lunch started five minutes ago.Oh, and just for your reference that Beavis guy managed to make Mr OíNeil cry in frustration and Mr DeMartino tear out a huge patch of hair for much the same reason.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Iíd expect no less of him.But wait, I hear the call of the cafeteria.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (To school nurse) In that case, weíll be right back.


(Cut to cafeteria, [Music continues], Jane and Daria both have hamburgers and cans of soda sitting before them, Janeís is half-eaten but Dariaís is still untouched)


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† So that is how extreme the stupidity of those two is.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Wow, anyone who gives Upchuck sex appeal and makes Kevin seem like a student with brain by comparison deserves a medal.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Or a bullet, at least Kevin can actually read.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Just how much uranium was in that water supply?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Does that matter?If only it were plutonium.


(Before long, Daria and Jane are approached by the Fashion Club, sans Quinn)


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† Just when you thought your day couldnít get any stupider, heads up.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (To the Fashion Drones) Um, no I really donít want a makeover, so before you ask, go away.


Stacy:†††† ††††††††††††††††† But you could really use a makeover to hide that bruise on your head.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† (Moans) Oh, God.


Sandi:††††††††††††††††††††† Um, Quinnís adopted cousin, or whatever, this has nothing to do with fashion, although, like, you really could use it, or at least some foundation.(Daria is now giving the three Fashion Drones a very harsh death-stare)But this is, like, more important.Like, Mr OíNeil asked us to parody a book and Quinn, like, said you were good with words.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Well, if itís tips on the English language you want, firstly donít pepper your sentences with meaningless words, such as like.


Stacy:†††† ††††††††††††††††† Would you do our assignment for us?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† What?


Sandi:††††††††††††††††††††† What Stacy is trying to say in her tactless way is, likeÖ


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† (Mumbling) There you go again with the like.


Sandi:††† ††††††††††††††††† We will agree to pay you if you will do this assignment for us.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Oh, in that case itíll be $250 (beat) each.


Sandi:††† ††††††††††††††††† What?!I was, like, thinking more like $50 from us all.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Thinking, eh?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† $100 each.


Sandi:††††††††††††††††††††† $150 combined.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† $75 each.


Sandi:††† ††††††††††††††††† Deal.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Nope, I changed my mind.


Sandi:††† ††††††††††††††††† (More than a bit miffed) But we just made a deal.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† No, you agreed and I refused.Now go away or I will not be held responsible for the consequent de-accessorising.


Stacy:†††† ††††††††††††††††† (Frantically) But, now weíll have to do our own work.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Dramatically) Oh, now.That would just never do!


(Tiffany fails to comprehend any of what just happened and passively follows the storming Sandi and Stacy, who is near tears)


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† (Rife with sarcasm) See you later, like, Quinnís asshole friends.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Like, I just, like, wish that I could, like, get through one, like, day without having to, like, deal with those, like, brain-atrophied little nitwits.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Careful, Sandi.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† (OS) Diarrhoea, cha, cha, cha!


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Speaking of brain-atrophied.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† What in Godís name is that?


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† (OS) Diarrhoea, cha, cha, cha!


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† A very bad nightmare.Please pinch me.Hard.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† No can do, if you wake up then Iíll be the only one left to suffer this.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† If I wake up, youíll cease to exist.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† (OS) Diarrhoea, cha, cha, cha!


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Hmm, that is a tempting offer but I donít think Iíd like to disappear until Iíve at the very least got my art career started.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† (OS) Diarrhoea, cha, cha, cha!


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† (Very deadpan and very disappointed) Damn it.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† (Next to the girlsí table now) Diarrhoea, cha, cha, cha!


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Beavis. Long time no see.Not long enough evidently.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, hey Diarrhoea.(To Jane) Um, like, hey, baby!


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† So, whereís Butthead?


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, like, he died, or something, so Iím, like, here now.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† I see, your idiot best friend gets himself killed so you travelled a thousand miles to the east.What, are you hiding from the pain?


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, no.They, like, made me come.Now I, like, have to see some fart-knocker to, like, get me, I donít knowÖ


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Uh, a brain?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† A cleaner sense of humour?


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† A personality?


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, I donít know.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, Beavis, in that case, go away.Now.


Beavis:†††††††††††††††††† Um, okay.


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† (After Beavis has left) Well that was surprisingly easy.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Now letís see just how far away he goes.


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† (OS) EEK!


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Grudgingly) I guess he has some good points.


(Cut to the hallway on the way to the next class)


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Um, Jane, could I get you to make up some excuse for me so I can get out of Ms Barchís class?


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Sure, Iíll just tell her you came down with a really bad case of bulimia, Iím sure sheíll believe that.Why do you want to get out of Barchís class, Iím sure thereíll be some prime violence you wonít want to miss.Involving both Beavis and Upchuck.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† As tempting as the prospect of watching some classic man-abuse, Iím just going to have to give it a miss today, I need to speak with Ms Li about this Beavis situation.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† Oh, well.I wish I brought my camera; this will probably be a once in a lifetime experience watching Barch kill Beavis.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Now I wish I could see that, but I have to know whatís going on.


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† Godspeed, amiga.


(Cut to Ms Liís office, Daria is seated before the desk)


Li:†††††††††††††††††††††††††††† Well, Ms Morgendorffer, I donít see why this couldnít wait until after your class.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Because the student that has just been transferred here from Highland is disturbing, not to mention dangerous to the people around him and, less importantly, himself.


Li:†††††††††††††††††††††††††††† Ms Morgendorffer, Iím sure he is not really that bad, heís probably just Ö


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Have you actually met him?


Li:†††††††††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, no, actually I was elsewhere this morning.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Right, what about Mrs Mansonís analysis.


Li:†††††††††††††††††††††††††††† (Uptight) Ms Morgendorffer, those analyses are private and confidential.Besides, Mrs Manson was with me.


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, do you at least have the phone number for Highland High?


(Ms Li writes the number on a post-it note and hands it to Daria.Daria makes her way back to Ms Barchís class.[Music:Korn Ė Beat It Upright], as she opens the door she sees Ms Barch pummelling into Beavis, Jodie and Mack looking on in shock, most of the class cheering Barch on and Jane sketching the whole incident. Daria smirks at the scene)


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† (Sitting down next to Jane) Maybe I should have waited until after school.


Jane:†††††††††††††††††††††† (Hardly looking away from her work) I knew I should have run home to get my camera during lunch.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Donít worry, if Barch doesnít kill him today, youíll be able to catch much the same tomorrow.


Barch:†† ††††††††††††††††† (OS) Die, pig!


Jane:††††† ††††††††††††††††† So, did you find much out?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† No, I just got the number of my old school.Iíll hopefully get the details before tomorrow.But thatís hoping that the phone is free.


Beavis: (OS) †††††† Argh!


(Exterior shot of Chez Morgendorffer, [Music continues], cut to inside the Morgendorffer kitchen.Daria picks up the handset of the cordless phone and dials the number for Highland High, when she holds the phone to her ear she hears not the ring tone ratherÖ)


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† (Over phone) Damn it, Daria!Iím trying to have a private conversation!Canít you justÖ


(Quinnís ranting is cut off as Daria replaces the handset to the cradle on the wall.She sighs to herself as she opens the refrigerator and gets herself a soda.She moves up to her room, locks her door and turns on the TV)


SSW Presenter:††††††††††††††††† He wanted a new pair of shoes; she gave him a pair made of cement!Divorce Sicilian Style coming up on Sick Sad World!


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Ah, the comfort of bad TV.


(Daria lays back on her bed and watches Sick Sad World until she hears three very pronounced raps on her door)


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Deadpan with a hint of mischief) Enter.


(She hears the dull thump as Quinn attempts to enter through a locked door.)


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† (OS) Ow!God!


(Now satisfied with her sisterís misfortune, Daria goes over to unlock and open the door to face a very irate Quinn)


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† Damn it, Daria, you knew that door was locked didnít you?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Smirking evilly) Guilty as charged, officer.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† Who do you think you are?You insult my friends, nearly break my nose and sic Beavis onto me.What the hell is with you today?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Just so you know, I did not sic Beavis on you, he just went your way and recognised you.


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† What the hell is Beavis doing in Lawndale anyway?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† If youíre finished on the phone I plan to find that out.Anyway, I thought you had your own extension.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† I only use that when Mom and Dad are home.Itís not like you ever use the phone for really important stuff anyway.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Sighs) If you want to know just why half of the brain-dead duo is in the same town as we are, you should re-prioritise what you consider really important.I assume you are finished with the main phone line?


Quinn:†† ††††††††††††††††† Well, I am for now.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Good, then I am going to find out what the hell is going on.Until I am finished with the phone you can use your private line.Oh, and by the way, I found that Butthead is dead.


(Quinnís face brightens up considerably at this piece of news.Daria closes her door again but doesnít lock it this time.She picks up the handset of her phone and dials the number for Highland High again.This time she hears the ring tone rather than a barrage of sisterly verbal abuse.After five rings she is greeted by someone with a slight Texan accent.)


Receptionist:††††† Highland High School, principalís office.How may I help you?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Um, hi, I wanted to talk to someone about Beavis?


Receptionist:††††† Beavis?He doesnít go to this school anymore (Almost inaudibly) Thank God.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Yeah, thatís kind of why I called.


Receptionist:††††† Oh.Well in that case I just put you through to the principal, can I just have your name?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Daria Morgendorffer.


Receptionist:††††† Thankyou Daria, Iím putting you through now.


(Daria waits for a few seconds and cringes as the tinny muzak [Music: Violent Femmes Ė Country Death Song (itís the only country song I could think of on short notice, and it does seem oddly appropriate here)] comes through the earpiece.Soon she is greeted by a vaguely familiar voice that sounds nothing like Mr McVicker.)


Voice:††† ††††††††††††††††† Hello, Daria?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Yes?


Voice:††† ††††††††††††††††† This is Mr Van Driesen.Itís definitely been a long time.How is my favourite former student?


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, as far as physical health goes Iím fine but as for my mental healthÖ


Van Driesen:†††††† Yes, Linda tells me you were calling about Beavis, so what do you want to know.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Well, today Beavis appeared in my school, among other things he said that he was being made to attend at Lawndale High.


Van Driesen:†††††† Well, yes he was transferred there yesterday.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† He also said something about Butthead being dead.


Van Driesen:†††††† Damn, I was hoping I wouldnít have to go through this with anyone but yes he is dead.Do you remember when Mr McVicker had that panic attack?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† How could I forget?


Van Driesen:†††††† Well, about two months ago Beavis and Butthead caused Mr McVicker to have another one.A few days later a teacher decided that it would be a good idea to take Beavis and Butthead to the psychiatric ward to see what they had done.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† You didnít take them again did you?


Van Driesen:†††††† Not me this time.I learned my lesson the first time.Anyhow this teacher took them to see Mr McVicker.This caused him to have yet another panic attack.So he was given electroshock therapy and of course Beavis and Butthead accompanied the ward staff.Apparently Beavis touched a piece of equipment that he shouldnít have and so while the staff were yelling at him they werenít paying attention to Butthead.Somehow Butthead managed to raise the current on the machine to some deadly level and applied it to Mr McVickerís temples.When he activated the machine his hands were also touching the electrodes so both Butthead and Mr McVicker were killed.Thatís why Iím principal now.Anyway after the incident Beavis showed quite an improvement in his academic work, so itís quite obvious that Butthead was dragging him down.And that is what Beavisí problem is, his self-esteem is so low that he can hardly function by himself; itís just unfortunate that for so long he chose to have Butthead as his social-host.For the next month until the summer break he simply found someone each day that he could follow and mimic.After a few seconds that person would reject Beavis based upon his past performance and so he would begin again and attach himself to someone new.Then just before summer break I heard about a man working wonders for teenagers with low self-esteem.A Timothy OíNeil who works at Lawndale High.For all of the work heís done in the past heís now nationally acclaimed.In fact I have heard that he is one of the top motivational speakers for teens in the country.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Youíre kidding, right?


Van Driesen:†††††† Not at all.So, after hearing about the wonders that this man had performed I decided to organise accommodation for Beavis in Lawndale and have him transferred to Lawndale High.


Linda:†††††††††††††††††††† (On the outside line) At least it gets him out of our hair.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† (Listening in on the downstairs phone) But why the hell did you send him here, why not somewhere else?


Van Driesen:†††††† (To Linda) Linda, this is a private conversation.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (To Quinn, at the same time as Van Driesen) Quinn, I told you to use your own damn line.


(Both Linda and Quinn grumble something unintelligible in unison.Two clicks are then heard signifying that both Linda and Quinn have hung up their phones.)


Daria:††† ††††††††††††††††† Well, I guess there is no chance of Beavis ever being taken back to Highland is there?


Van Driesen:†††††† Iím sorry, Daria, but not on your life.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† (Slightly shocked at Van Driesenís last comment) Um, wellÖ at least it explains Beavisí presence.Thanks for clearing that up.


Van Driesen:†††††† Much obliged, thanks for calling, Daria.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Okay, thanks, bye (Lays the handset back in its cradle gently) Damn!


([Music: Radiohead Ė How To Disappear Completely] Daria leaves her room in a daze and moves down into the kitchen and finds Quinn slumped over the table.Daria fetches two cans of soda out of the refrigerator, one diet, and sits down beside Quinn, sliding the diet soda over to her sister.)


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† I know exactly how you feel.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† God, who would have thought, of all the places they could have sent him?Why here, why us?


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† I wish I knew, letís just hope that guardian angel of yours can protect the both of us.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† At least youíll be finished in a year; Iíll still be in the nightmare.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† QuinnÖ


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† (In a very matter of fact tone) Daria, thereís no way heíll pass senior year.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Van Driesen said that Beavis is doing better in his schoolwork.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† Just because he can spell his name now doesnít mean heíll graduate.


Daria:††††††††††††††††††††† Touchť, Quinn.But for now, letís just hope for your sake that you are wrong.


Quinn:††††††††††††††††††† Yeah, letís hope.


(Just at that moment the front door opens and slams closed and Jake unintentionally breaks apart the rare warm moment his two daughters are sharing and decides to take an interest in their lives)


Jake:†††††††††††††††††††††† Hey, girls.Did anything interesting happen today?


(At this the two Morgendorffer girls share a look and then get up and leave the room)


Jake:†††††††††††††††††††††† What did I do?




Ė What happens when a socially challenged leech needs to find a new clique?Find out just how much fun Jane can have in one day in SB #102 Ė Dumber and Dumber.



Authorís Notes:††† Well thatís it, my first ever fanfic and the first instalment of my Stupidity Boundless series.This was a pretty simplistic episode in my eyes but none the less I am still impressed that I managed to actually finish a story that I started.My reasoning behind the central theme of this series, that is the presence of Beavis without Butthead, was to explore the possibility raised in some Beavis and Butthead episodes where Beavis is shown without the negative influence of Butthead.One of these episodes was a Christmas special where the boysí guardian angel is sent to Earth to persuade Butthead to kill himself.When Butthead is shown the alternate reality we are shown Beavis working in a soup kitchen with Stuart.This sort of inspired me recently to view Beavis as a very needy creature, needing social acceptance from somewhere, anywhere, even if itís just from one person.So I felt that if I killed off Butthead (and McVicker, just for fun) and sent Beavis to Lawndale, I could see where the whole mess goes.

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† It goes without saying that some of the character traits within this series have been borrowed from the relevant TV shows, along with some of the jokes.I have for the most part tried to keep the humour original while still keeping faithful to the TV series.Some jokes may have unconsciously taken from other fanfics.I am sorry if I have done that anywhere, please donít crucify me just notify me.

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† I decided to call this series Stupidity Boundless rather than Boundless Stupidity for the simple reason of abbreviation; The SB series works a lot better for me than the BS series.

Just for reference, this episode is set the day after Is It Fall Yet concludes, Daria is still with Tom, and in fact Tom actually gets a mention in the next episode.In this he plays a rather pivotal role in later episodes (At this stage that is what I intend to happen, it may change by then though, I know now how easy it is for the characters to control the writer in some cases).Also in future episodes there may be some coarse language, violence, adult themes and sexual themes/references but I make no promises. And the authorís notes should seldom be this long.

Please feel free to send reviews, comments and criticisms to me at types of ego-inflation will be welcomed.


About the author:†††††††††††††††††† I am an Australian and so pardon me for using Australian grammar and spelling, for the most part I am trying to keep the language as American as I can manage (itís called catering to your audience) but I will inevitably use some Australian terms somewhere.

My pseudonym actually comes from when I was looking for a name for my band and then I looked at one of my shirts, a sort of red one and so I thought Scarlet and the name just happened to become stuck in my mind.


This work was inspired by the following and thus many thanks go out to:All the good people who worked to bring us five seasons of Daria, the inane comedies of Beavis and Butthead, the many people who have written entertaining Daria fanfics over the course of time, namely Canadibrit, Crazy Nutso, Dianne Long, Erin Mills, Martin J. Pollard, Kara Wild, Jon Kilner, Nemo Blank and Wildgoose.Thank you all for entertaining me. All references to Monty Python are purely intentional.


Daria and Beavis and Butthead and all characters and their personalities contained within are copyright MTV, Glenn Eichler, Susie Lewis Lynn and Mike Judge and various other people I have failed to mention here.This story was created purely for fun, not for money.Please do not use this or any subsequent works of mine for any financial gain.The stories, themes and new characters within The Stupidity Boundless Series, however, unless duly credited, were created and written by me:Mark Coulson, aka Scarlet, copyright 2002.


Songs:†††† Deftones Ė Knife Prty (White Pony, 2000)

††††††††††††††††† Red Hot Chilli Peppers Ė Midnight (By the Way, 2002)

††††††††††††††††† Violent Femmes Ė Country Death Song (Hallowed Ground, 1984)

††††††††††††††††† Korn Ė Beat It Upright (Untouchables, 2002)

††††††††††††††††† Radiohead Ė How To Disappear Completely (Kid A, 2000)