Peer Pressure 

Scene 1: Breakfast at the Morgendorffers. Quinn and Daria are visibly bored. 

Quinn: Mo-OM! Da-AD! 

Helen: What is it Quinn, dear? 

Jake: Hmm-mm? 

Quinn: I'm so like, depressed or something! I was SUPPOSED to go to this party tonight
with the Fashion Club. It was at Brittany's house...they just got their jacuzzi installed and
everything...but it had to be cancelled on account that too many UN-popular people found
out about it! 

Jake: (distracted) That's a shame, honey... 

Helen: (angry) JAKE! (turns to Quinn) Well, why don't you just stay here tonight with your
family? It will be SUCH fun...we can rent movies, make popcorn, have a little girl talk... 

Daria: (sarcastic) And I can braid your hair! 

Helen: Right, Daria! What do you say, Quinn? 

Quinn: (annoyed) Puh-lease, Mom! I can't like, be around Daria on a Friday night! I'll lose
touch with my popularity! If the fashion club ever found out they'd revoke my nail polish!
Don't you guys even care about me? 

Daria: Lovable as you are...no. 

Helen:Thats enough you two! Quinn, I'm sure you can find something to do. Why don't you
invite the fashion club over here? You can watch satellite TV! 

Quinn: We-ell...we DO get the Cute 'n' Trendy Shopping Network, so OK! 

Daria: Oh sweet lord, why? WHY? 

Scene 2: Daria's room. Jane and Daria are lounging on the bed, watching Sick Sad World.

TV: Lost in Antarctica, a brave young man survives by eating his own frostbitten
appendages! A portrait of courage, on the next Sick Sad World! 

(Jane clicks off the TV) 

Jane: Y'know Daria, I'm hungry enough to eat a frostbitten appendage. Can't we get
something to eat already? 

Daria: But Jane, I already told you, we'd have to walk by the Fashion Club, and that would
really make it a worthless trip. 

Jane: Yeah, I guess. But at least puking all over the living room would be INTERESTING!
I'm so bored. Seems like nothing's going on today. 

Daria: You can't be saying that you expect something exciting to happen in Lawndale. 

Jane: Yeah, you're right. Damn, what's my problem today? 

Daria: It's OK. You're not focused. Just realize that you will constantly toil in neverending
monotony until you eventually earn the privlidge of going senile. Then it's all worth it. 

Jane: That's the spirit. (looks out the window) Hey, looks like you've got some new
neighbors. There's a moving van at that house next door. 

Daria: Oh yeah? Can you see the new people? 

Jane: No...wait...I don't know. I just see an old guy in a bathrobe yelling at a young guy in a
flannel shirt. Whoa, I think I saw a midget, too! (Pauses) What the hell is that?? 

(A shiny red Dodge Viper with a liscense plate that reads "FCK IT" comes screaming into
the driveway. A tall young black man gets out. He is wearing big khaki pants, a blue T-shirt,
and Converse All-Stars. He has a huge gold chain around his neck.) 

Daria: (joins Jane at the window) Here comes trouble. 

Jane: And there goes the Fashion Club. 

(Quinn, Sandy, Stacy, and Tiffany all saunter over to the new guy and appear to be flirting
with him.) 

Jane: Now's a good time to go get those nachos from the kitchen! 

Daria: I'm right behind you. 

Scene 3: Quinn and the Fashion Club are in their new neighbors' yard introducing
themselves to the new guy. 

Quinn: (whispers to Sandy)This is like, sure to be better than watching satellite TV. When
you like, told me how much that car cost, I just had a premo-ni...ti...uhhh...a...a feeling that
um...Guy and I were meant to be together! Love at first sight! (sighs) Thanks SO much for
telling me! 

Sandy: That's like, what FRIENDS are FOR. But you'll still have to fight me for him. 

Tiffany: You all have like, no chance in hell against ME! 

Stacy: (her voice changes to an Excorcist-like growl) YOU LITTLE BITCHES! (The Fashion
Club members proceed to beat the living shit out of each other, pulling hair, scratching and
biting.) 

New Guy: God-DAAMN! You' re all cuttin' up! Just chill. 

Quinn: (stops fighting) I can chill! 

New Guy: Yeah, we'll see. My name's Chris. I'm the new neighborhood dopeman, baby! 

Sandy: (oblivious) Hi, Chris! I'm Sandy, and these are my fellow Fashion Club members,
Quinn, Stacy, and Tiffany. They're not like, as fashionable as ME, of course... 

Chris: Uhh...ok. Whatever, ladies. Wanna come in the crib for a while? 

(All stare blankly) 

Chris:(annoyed) I mean my house, MAN! Damn, get inside! 

Fashion Club members shriek with excitement and follow Chris into the house. 

Scene 4: Morgendorffer kitchen. Daria and Jane are eating a plate of nachos as they spy
on the new neighbors. 

Jane: There's a LOT of people over there, Daria. 

Daria: Yeah, its pretty cool. Having a screaming crackhead, a giant thug on a bicycle, and
a hoochie mama living next door might be kind of exciting. 

Jane: I don't know, Quinn and her friends have been there all afternoon! It can't be that
great. 

Scene 5: Chris's room. There are boxes of unpacked items all over the floor. The room
does have a bed in one corner, an aquarium containing an iguana by the door, and a large
Cheech and Chong poster on the cieling. A mysterious cedar chest sits in the center of the
room. 

Quinn: It's uh, nice in here, uh...Kyle? 

Tiffany: (smacks Quinn) It's Chris, you LOSER! 

Chris: Hey man, i got an idea. Y'all need to stimulate your mind, man! It's Friday, you ain't
got no job, and you ain't got shit to do! 

Quinn: Uh, are you like, a brain or something? Why should I stimulate my mind? 

Chris: (pulls a large blue bong out of the cedar chest, along with a bag of
suspicious-looking green stuff.) This is my pride and joy. C'mon y'all, take a hit, man! (He
proceeds to do so) See how its done? Smoke Dog, baby! Remember that shit! Been
smokin since I was two! 

Sandy: Wait a second. Are you like, smoking nicotine? 

Tiffany: Oh no! Thats bad! 

Stacy: (whispers) Guys, I think its mar-i-ju-ana! We've gotta get out of here! 

Quinn: Yeah, I heard that smoking mar-i-ju-ana causes zits! 

(The Fashion Club gasps in horror) 

Chris: C'mon girl. Take a damn hit! (shoves the bong at Quinn and smiles charmingly) 

Quinn: Uhhh, okay. (With Chris's help, she inhales and clears the whole tube.) 

Sandy: (looking jealously at Quinn, who is now coughing her ass off) MY TURN! (The
Fashion Club members proceed to be peer pressured) 

Scene 6: Daria's room. Jane and Daria are watching another Sick Sad World marathon. 

Jane: Haven't the Fashion Victims been at that nuthouse for over five hours now? 

Daria: It looks that way. 

Jane: You sure you don't want to check on them or something? There may be a way for
your parents to blame you if something bad happened to Quinn. 

Daria: Ohhhh, okay. 

Scene 7: Chris's room. 

Chris: (twitching in frustration) What the HELL is the matter with y'all? You're smokin' with
the big boys now! Don't start trippin'! 

Quinn:(laughing hysterically) Whoo hooo...Chris is funny! I love him...he's my MAN! 

Sandy: (exploding with laughter) That was really funny Quinn...you...you sound like...a
comedian...hahahahaha! 

Stacy:(serious) Y'know, this like, makes me think. What is like, the meaning of life? 

Tiffany:I don't know, but I sure could go for some Fritos right now! Yeah, and some
chocolate milk, and some french fries, some Corn Nuts maybe, mmmmm.... 

Chris: (explodes with frustration) Daaaa-AMN! 

(Doorbell rings. Chris rushes to answer it, after he decides it isn't the cops) 

Chris: (opens door) Yeah? Who are you, man? 

Daria: I'm your neighbor. I'm looking for my sister. She has a pink shirt on, and some flared
jeans... 

Chris: Well, shit, she's here. Her and her friends are freaky! Can you try and get them outta
my house? They can't handle their bud if you know what I mean! 

Daria: Say no more. We'll take care of this 

Chris: I know this, man! 

(Daria and Jane manage to haul the Fashion Club out of the house.) 

Quinn: (giggling uncontrollably) Bye, bye everyone! 

Daria: (rolls her eyes) Jane what should I do? My parents are both at home, and I have to
sober her up! 

Jane: Stick her head in the toilet and flush. It always worked with Trent. 

Scene 8: 

(Quinn's room, Saturday morning.) 

Quinn: (Waking up) La la la...DARIA! What are you doing here?! 

Daria: I came to collect my fee for saving your ass yesterday! It wasn't easy, let me tell you!
That toilet thing didn't work so great after all. Now pay up! 

Quinn: (innocent) Fee? But Daria, please! I learned my lesson. 

Daria:(sarcastically) Right. What's that? 

Quinn: I will never touch mar-i-ju-ana again! Daria, it was awful! I ATE TWELVE FROZEN
BURRITOS! Sickening! I have to go weigh myself immediately! 

(gets up and runs to the bathroom) 

THE END