Short summary:


Just a Saturday in the lives of Daria and Jane (and their families). Takes place after “One Night in Lawndale”.


Daria (and associated characters and locations) is copyright © 1997-2000 MTV Networks.


This story is copyright © 2002 by Bacner ( and has been written for personal enjoyment. No infringement of the above rights is intended.


One Saturday in Lawndale


It was a Friday afternoon, and both Jane and Daria were full of plans for the weekend, especially Daria, whose external stoic stoneniness just belied the raging storm of emotions within her – well, according to Mr. O’Neal anyways. Those who knew both Daria and Mr. O’Neal better, could clearly see that Daria was bored almost out of her skull. “So what are the plans for this weekend, amigo?” Jane finally said.

Not one flicker of emotion clouded Daria’s face. “Do homework,” she said in her habitual monotone.

“Anything else?”

Daria shrugged. “Get bribed by Quinn to do hers.”

“That’s it?”

“Get bribed by parents to double-cross Quinn and let her do her own homework.”

“That’s all?” Jane persisted.

“Got any better ideas?” Daria asked.

“Watch the all-weekend spy movie marathon at my place?” Jane suggested slyly.

Daria grimaced. Ever since Monique had moved-in into the Lane house, Jane’s subtle (from a Lane’s point of view) moves of getting Trent and Daria together seemed to have got their second wind. “We’ll see,” Daria said evasively, unwilling to touch that sensible topic. “My parents – they seem to have planned something big for tomorrow and Sunday.”

“What, take you on a fishing expedition to the Atlantic coast?” Jane snorted.

“Given dad’s luck, we would probably catch a seal and get arrested for poaching,” Daria shrugged. “Look, I'll call you back later.”

“Sure,” Jane replied, feeling oddly depressed. While she was no longer jealous over Daria and Tom, Trent and Monique’s latest actions made her extra restless than usual – so restless, in fact, that it made Jane wish that it would be college time yet. But it wasn’t.

And so, Daria and Jane said good-bye to each other and went their separate ways.


As soon as Daria had entered their house, she knew that something was afoot – besides Jake and Helen, who were darting and running around the house like a pair of roaches O.D. on vodka. Daria wasn't the one to procrastinate on asking any questions that she was interesting in knowing the answers to, and so she said: “Mom, dad, just what are you doing?”

“We're going camping!” Jake said in his trademark excitement.

“And we’re taking guide books with us, too!” Helen added, less so.

“Does Quinn know about this?” Daria finally asked after a pause – calculated exactly to the moment when Quinn herself  had entered the house after waving good-bye to her F.C. friends. “Know about what?” she innocently asked.

Helen and Jake exchanged guilty looks, but answered firmly enough: “We're going camping!”

The next moment, Quinn Morgendorffer’s anguished scream had shuddered the entire neighbourhood.


It was much later in time, and much closer to the nightfall; in fact, it could be almost considered night fall, only no one in the Morgendorffer household could go to sleep for one reason or another. In Daria’s case, it was because she was talking to Jane. “We're going camping. Again,” she told flatly her best friend, who couldn’t quite keep irritation from her voice either:

“Damn it girl! Didn't your ancestors get O.D. on some berries and almost died?”

“And this is why they’re taking me along and not letting me watch the movie marathon with you. Oh sure, they spewed some things about me getting fresh air and exercise, but Quinn ruined all pretty much, so I’m getting shanghaied into this as plain as cheese,” Daria truthfully said. But Jane’s next words surprised even her.

“Hey, do not diss the cheese! Sometimes it can be quite fancy!” Jane said. Poor Jane! She didn’t that a, Daria couldn't be outshocked, and b, certain events at the Morgendorffer household had left Daria with a quite stable opinion – on the same ‘cheesy’ topic, as she produced and demonstrated to the shocked Jane just then.

“No, Jane,” Daria said. “The shapes of certain fungi and plant roots are fancy; the shape of cheese is always plain: a wheel, a sphere, a gourd – or an isosceles triangular slice. Or is it a cone?.. Hmmm…”

There was pause as all that Daria said had finally sunk-in into Jane’s skull. “Daria, since when are you so interested in cheese?” The Lane girl finally asked.

Even through the phone, Jane could ‘Daria’s mental shrug. “Ever since mom won this Madison divorce case – we’ve been getting cheese, butter, other milk-related products by the package. Currently, I’m having my lately-regular evening dose of curdled milk with sucrose in this really genuine-looking clay pot, see?”

Upon hearing the magic words, Jane’s eyes bulged. “Did you say – a clay pot?” she asked. “Can I have it Daria, please? I've been learning this neat clay-glazing technique, and-“

Now it was Daria’s turn to pause. “Jane, maybe I should ask mom to stem some of her gains in your way – you’ve clearly been lacking vitamins or nutrients or something!”

Jane shook her head. “Nah. Ever since we had this bet – you no glasses, me no art – Trent and Monique had been kind of on my case a little…” Jane paused and pried deeper. “Daria, did you just hear what I've said?”

Daria mentally sighed. She was over Trent now for good, and never really had anything against Monique ever. As for Jane’s insistence... “As long as it’s not about Allison, I’m not interested. Quinn, on the other hand, might. Want to talk about her?”

Jane blinked. Ever since she had told Daria about her summer art camp experience, she was getting a lot of that later – and not all of it from just Daria. “So will I be getting my little clay pot any time lately?” she subtly changed the topic of discussion.

“Next Monday, sorry, not earlier,” Daria casually said.

“Whatever,” was Jane’s equally casual reply.


The rest of the Friday-to-Saturday night passed-on without any exciting events. True, Jane spent most of it watching the spy movie marathon, and Daria spent it listening to Quinn moan in her own room – Daria’s padded walls were nowhere as thick as she wanted them to be – but it had passed-on as boringly as usual, and that was what mattered.


Then the morning dawned. Of course, Daria couldn’t vouchsafe for Quinn or Jane, but for herself, she felt the flame of her emotions awaken as soon as she was hustled – like a piece of contraband over American-Mexican border – into the Morgendorffer family vehicle. And the emotions that began to burn in that newly-kindled flames were of a negative sort. Angrily (for her) she began to glare (in her style) around the town, listening to Jake’s excited babble, feeling that she needed to do something or she’d snap. And she found what she was looking for, soon enough. “Hey dad, look at that blonde in a jogging suit!” she said excitedly.

“Where?” Jake in his eagerness went not with what was sad, but with how. And naturally, his reward was a brief glimpse of Ashley-Amber… and a rather angry slap from Helen.


…It was some time later during the day. Jane was approaching the Morgendorffer house. Another person was standing there already – a boy about their age, with his hair dyed piebald – a mix of white and brown. “Is Daria home?” Jane asked politely.

“No, they’re out,” the boy said. “There’s a note on the door that they’ve left for the weekend.”

Jane frowned. For some reason, this didn’t seem right. “Isn't it Monday already?” she asked.

The boy just stared at her. “No, it’s just Saturday still,” he said in a tone usually reserved for mentally retarded.

“Boy, did I get my clock confused or what!” Jane said trying to hide her embarrassment. She remembered her sister Penny saying that the best defence was a good offence, and went with the flow. “Hey, why are you here?” she asked.

The boy shrugged. “I was thinking of meeting Daria, but they’ve left already.”

But Jane was not to be put-off. “Say, how did you and Daria meet?” she asked.

The boy laughed in a weird way. “It was in a little institution named Hell!”

And then he walked away, with Jane just staring at his retreating back.


While such exciting things were apparently happening to Jane, the Morgendorffers had their own type of fun. Their new camping spot was on a little sylvan clearing near the Merrimack River – something that Daria seemed to actually appreciate – and really too, for once. Normally, such an event wouldn’t be left unnoticed by her mother’s aquiline eye, but for the moment it was actually occupied by that great pseudo-bouquet of sylvan vegetation that Jake had offered her as an apology gift (for something that he had no idea about, as usual). “Here’s honey, a gift from the forest to you!” Jake said proudly.

Helen took one good look at the verdant abundance before her, and blushed. “Jake, you shouldn’t!” she playfully said.

Meanwhile, Daria was making herself comfortable on the river’s shore, but she did give a glance towards the older generation. “Hey dad, your ‘forest theme’ idea was great,” she finally gave her resume. “But poison oak’s the same as poison ivy – they both make folks itch!”

Upon hearing that Helen dropped the plans and hit Jake again…


…Back in Lawndale, Jane was walking home, deeply engrossed in her thoughts. It was just too bad that a lamppost didn’t have enough good sense to step aside for her behalf…



Shortly after the ‘forest-plants’ fiasco, Jake was consoling himself. He was sitting on the branches of a crab-apple tree, with Helen underneath it looking more steamed than an average dragon. Quinn was staring at this landscape scene feeling partly confused and partly incredulous. “Daria-“


“But Daria-“

“Go and ask them yourself.”

“No!” Quinn said quickly, taking in the red faces of their mom and dad and abruptly changed the topic. “What are you doing?”

Daria just looked at her fishing equipment and said in her trademark monotone: “Fishing.” And since she was sitting with her back to her family, Quinn didn't see the intensely concentrated and venturesome look on her sister’s face. She, however, realised something else.

“Are you allowed to do that?” she asked, surprised.

Wordlessly, Daria produced some sort of license out of a pocket of her coat, and began to read. “The owner of this license is licensed to fish and hunt in the province of-“

“Enough,” Quinn interrupted, and spoke rather helplessly: “So what am I to do? You're fishing, mom and dad’s all weird…”

“You go and see what they have in the car?” Daria said not unkindly.

Quinn just shrugged. “Okay. I've brought my phone with me anyways, so…”

“Quinn? Go.”


Jane Lane opened her eyes. Judging from the lack-of-sky factor, and the excess of flames and brimstone, she realized that she was no longer in Lawndale. “Where am I?” she meekly said. She instantly regretted it, for a demonic creature, looking like a leathery-winged rotting human corpse appeared and spoke: “In Hell!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jane’s mouth said before Jane’s brain could stop it.

The creature just smiled and morphed into Allison, still leathery-winged. “Kiss me Jane – you know you want me!” Allison-monster said.

“NO-O-O!” Jane yelled… and awoke. She was sitting – or rather, reclining on the floor in the old Lane living room, with her brother Trent sleeping – or rather, waking, on the couch in the same place. “I see that you're awake,” Monique’s voice came from the doorway.

Jane looked at the TV and firmly shut it off. Sometimes, enough was enough.


Back at the Morgendorffer camping site, things have changed little, or none at all. Jake was still in a tree, only more sleepy-looking than before, Helen too was still underneath it, doing some paperwork now, and Daria was still on the river bank, fishing, and looking almost happy (for her). And of course, Quinn had to ruin that semi-idyllic arrangement. “Dad, telephone!” her voice came from the tent.

Jake, startled, and quite sleepy, said “What?” and fell off the tree onto Helen. One good look into her eyes, and Jake took-off running into the forest, almost faster than a wild turkey’s flight speed. And he had a good reason to, for Helen followed him on an almost equal speed.

“Where did our parents go?” Quinn asked, getting out of the tent a short time later.

“I think they’re just being themselves – their younger selves, that is,” Daria gave her sister her explanation, keeping her sight – and attention – on the fishing line before her.

“Eew!” Quinn spoke then paused. “So how’s fishing going?”

“Got some lost some,” Daria shrugged. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing…” Quinn admitted, the noticed something. “Hey, why’s the line so tense?”

“What?” Daria asked, genuinely surprised, for once. She then looked in the direction that Quinn was pointing at, and yelled:  “Quinn, hold me!”

“What?” Quinn asked, grabbing her sister around the waste.

“Now!” Daria yelled, and began to pull, as the line – and Daria’s arms – just tensed-up some more.

The next moment some monstrous force pulled the Morgendorffer sisters off their feet and into the river, towing them through the river like a motorboat. Both Daria and Quinn were yelling, of course, but Jake and Helen, finally finding some rest – and seclusion in a totally different place of the woods, heard their cries very faintly and indistinguishably, and soon began to ignore them altogether as they faded away.


Back in Lawndale, Jane was staring very intensely and business-like at the Morgendorffer house. Upon learning that it was still – or yet? – Saturday, she immediately proceeded to the Morgendorffer house, intent on getting that little clay pot no matter what. However, in all of her artistic determination, Jane had not yet lost enough brains to brave the frontal assault – it was going to get her arrested in no time, and that would be it. So, she bravely scaled the fence and found herself in the Morgendorffer backyard, where she went immediately for the patio doors – and unknown to her, she was being watched. And followed.


Imagine a broad-leafed forest as smooth as an on-wall tapestry with a river going through it like a shiny blue rope, framed with a green of a different shade – and you’d have imagined the forest in which the Morgendorffers were camping, And now imagine two girls - Daria and Quinn - sitting on a river bank, breathing heavily, looking at their catch. It’s a giant gar.

“Now what, Einstein?” Quinn heavily panted.

Daria, true, wasn’t in the best of shape either, but she wasn’t about to let Quinn know it. Besides, she had a plan, which she shared immediately with her friend. “We go down the river, searching for our camping spot. Unfortunately, it’s on the other side of the river,” she explained.

Quinn just looked at their catch, imagined an entire river with fishes that big, and said her idea: “We’ll have to find a wading spot somewhere.”

Daria shook her head, remembering the park’s map, and knowing that such a spot was a long way away in either direction from their spot. “No,” she firmly said, unwilling though to explain this to Quinn in detail. “Let’s first find our camping spot, and then worry about getting across.”

“Well, all right. Let’s go,” Quinn agreed, after thinking about their options for a while.

Daria was doing the same thing, only more proactively, and so she motivated Quinn up, by saying: Let’s hurry. It’s some time in the afternoon already, and I don’t want to wander after dark.”

“After… dark?” Quinn said in a small voice. Daria just started walking, lugging their fish. Wordless – for once – Quinn just followed.


Meanwhile, while Daria and Quinn were starting their trek back to camp, neither of their parents was entertaining such thoughts. Both Jake and Helen lay in a tight embrace, doing something… naughty, and no one noticed several pairs of non-human eyes watching them from all places around them – and even if they did, so what? What harm can a toad, a slowworm, a roach or a ground beetle do to two people? And so, Jake and Helen just shagged-on, while the sun went lower to the ground, and all around them, the shadows grew.


Jane Lane, on the other hand, was in a city – more correctly, a town – and so was bothered none by such difficulties. She was too busy struggling with the stubborn patio doors that refused to let her in. “I’m getting myself that little clay pot, if it’s the last thing that I do today!” Jane determinedly said.

“You want help with that?” somebody else spoke.

Instantly, Jane looked around and saw a suspicious character of unidentifiable gender in military-type pants, boots, and a leather jacket. “What if I do?” she finally said.

“Then let me try!” in a masterful tone the stranger said, and sure enough, soon enough, they and Jane were inside the Morgendorffer house. “I'm very impressed, really!” Jane said, feeling more than just a bit awed.

“It was nothing,” the stranger said dismissively then paused. “Now why did we get in here?”

“I've got to get something from upstairs,” Jane said, unwilling to introduce her mysterious new aide to the intricacies of her artistic mind. “You… can do whatever you want, just don't stir things up, okay?”

“Got it,” the stranger nodded gravely.

Jane quickly runs upstairs, to Daria’s room, and after a brief, but frantic search, she quickly found the necessary piece of clay crockery. She took it excitedly, raised it to her eye level… accidentally looked into the window… and quickly realized as to where she was and with whom. Even quicker, she then ran downstairs. “Hey… ye!” she said still on the stairs. “I've got my things, now let’s go!”

“Hold the horses there, comrade,” the stranger said, emerging from the kitchen. “Can't a woman finish her meal in piece?”

Jane froze, not sure if she did hear correctly. The stranger looked – to her – more manly and masculine than most of the football players at LH, and was female? “Excuse me, but what did you say?” Jane finally spoke. “What is your name, anyways?”

The stranger chose that moment to appear out of the kitchen, sans the jacket. Her torso only had the pants’ suspenders and nothing else on it, showing definitely some curve. “Did I forget to introduce myself? Sorry. I'm Audrey,” she said.

Jane paused, staring at Audrey’s physique that could do homage to many of the wrestlers that she’d seen on TV. Heck, Jesse was even less manly than that, and he was a guy. “Aha, sure, I'm Jane,” she finally said, unsure of what she was thinking. “Can we go now?”

Audrey shook her head. “Not until you try that cheese pizza thing Jane, it’s fantastic.”

Jane just smiled weakly. “Sure. Great.”


Back at the camping spot, Daria idly noticed, things haven't changed. Only mom and dad still haven’t returned from their run. Daria, however, didn't mind. First the heart-wrenching trek back to camp – on the other side of the river – that took a good half an hour or so; and then a record swim across the river – but long enough to get their clothing all wet. Now, though, their clothing was being dried – by being positioned close to a makeshift fire-and-spit, upon which Daria’s catch was being roasted. That did mean, of course, that both Daria and Quinn were naked, but Daria still didn't see the reason why Quinn insisted on hiding in their tent – there wasn’t anybody around for a really big distance… “Are they dried-up yet?” Quinn spoke-up for an umpteenth time.

“I don't think so,” Daria casually said. “Why are you so meek anyways? It’s just us.”

“It’s just so strange!” Quinn protested. “I mean, I dreamt that I’d get naked for the first time-“

“Quinn, just be grateful, that it’s just us - for the moment – and not mom and dad too. Can you imagine-“

“Is the fish ready yet?” Quinn hurriedly interrupted her sister.

Daria jabbed the fish with a makeshift turning fork. “No, I don’t think so,” she truthfully said.

“Oh damn!”


Jane and Audrey were walking silently through the Lawndale streets, each keeping her own council. For herself, Jane had to admit, that she had certainly felt weird – well, not weird-weird, but like all of her confusions that she had felt ever since that summer art camp – and not about fauvism, Jane didn't want to talk about that anytime soon – but about herself, her love life – or the lack of it hereabout. She also wondered what did Audrey think-off, and whether her thoughts were anywhere like Jane’s – or like Allison’s, for that matter. “I've been thinking,” Jane decided to finally re-break the ice. “You're not from here, are you?”

“Nah, our folks have just come here recently – we’re really from Boston,” Audrey shrugged.

If Jane has had anything in her mind, she’d have choked. Luckily for her, she didn’t. “You're kidding! I'm going to Boston this fall!” she said, surprised.

And Audrey too looked no less surprised. “Cool! You’d like it there, I'm sure! Want me to write a letter to my friends? I'm sure they’ll be happy to help you?”

“We’ll see,” Jane said, suddenly suspicious of Audrey’s enthusiasm yet unwilling to appear ungrateful either.

Silence started again, and it was Audrey that broke it. “So what are you going to do with that pot thingy?” she asked.

Jane blinked. Truthfully, she’d almost forgotten about it ever since she learned that Audrey was Audrey and female. “Do some artwork on it – something for Trent to remember me by when I leave,” she finally said.

“Your boyfriend?” Audrey said casually.

“Brother,” Jane sighed, “I'm currently single.”

Audrey’s face fell in honest apology. “Oh. Well, I'm sure that you’ll find plenty of young men in Boston, no?”

Jane frowned, thinking. “Yeah…” She paused. “Hey, can you tell me about that city of yours in general? Where exactly are you from, anyways?”

“Dorchester,” Audrey said, perking up.

“So? Tell me more, woman!”

Audrey smiled – a very nice and bright smile, Jane noticed. “Well, comrade,” Audrey said cheerfully, “be prepared to be amazed.”


It was some time later. Daria and Quinn – now fully clothed – were finishing eating the fish, and idly looking at the sky, where the sun was now most definitely going down. Daria looked as she usually looked, but Quinn was apprehensive…



“Shouldn't we go and look for mom and dad?”

Daria sighed. “If my memory serves me correctly, mom and dad had barged into this sylvan windfall with a speed greater than that of an average pronghorn antelope, let alone a wild turkey’s. Considering, that immediately after that we had a bit of a speed adventure ourselves and completely lost their traces, we, Daria and Quinn, have no chance of finding them now.”

“Two questions: what should we do, and what’s a pronghorn?”

“We’ll do what I did the last time you three O.D. on “glitter-berries” – call for help, and as for your second question, just think antelope.”

“Right. Sure,” Quinn paused. “Where’s the cell phone – oh yeah, in the tent. I forgot. Silly me.”

“Just go and get it, would you?”


Shortly afterwards, Quinn was listening, feeling just a bit awed, as Daria nonchalantly (for her monotone) chatted with the local ranger station. “Hello, Mr. Smythe?” Daria was speaking into the phone. “This is Daria Morgendorffer speaking. Yes, I do sound familiar – I did call about a year or so ago when my family ate some hallucinogenic berries. No, nothing like that – our parents are just lost. Well, not exactly lost, but me and my sister haven't seen them since morning, and now it’s almost sunset, and we’re worried, and aren't sure what to do- Oh, you’ll be coming here? Groovy. Why? Rules? Okay, bye!” And Daria hanged-up the cell phone.

Quinn stared at her. “Do you know that you sound almost like mom?” she finally said.

Daria almost blushed. “I just got a good memory, that’s all.”

“Yeah, but it was so long, and-“

“And you did eat the hallucinogenic berries, remember?” Daria pointed-out, but not too unkindly. “It’s all in the past Quinn, let it slide.” She paused. “What I’m interested in, though, is where the Hell mom and dad are spending their time at? And why haven’t anybody tried to contact them yet?”

Quinn shrugged. “Long distance phone bills. They can be murder on any kind of budget, believe me, I know them. Probably, Eric is in some sort of a financial hock, and-“

From the river’s side there was a splash. Quinn gulped and moved closer to Daria, quieting-down somewhat. “What’s that?” she meekly asked.

Daria shrugged, but went and got the flashlight out of the car – just in case.


While the Morgendorffer sisters were preparing for the night’s advance, Jane Lane and her new acquaintance Audrey Hessell, (all questions about her last name Audrey declines to talk about, saying that even her parents don't know its’ origins, let alone herself), were leaving Pizza Parlour. “Want me to walk you home?” Audrey asked suddenly.

Jane silently examined Audrey all over, with the most peculiar expression on her face. “Eh, why not. Follow me,” she said, and then started a new topic, by asking: “So will you be going to Lawndale High?”

“Most likely. Why?”

“Then I’m going to pay you back for all of your tall tales about Boston by giving you some stories about LH.”

“Hey, all I told was the truth!”

“Then so will this be.”

Audrey shivered in mock fear. “I think I'm going to like it here,” she said.

“Maybe,” Jane said with a mock-nasty chuckle, “oh maybe!”


Daria and Quinn were sitting in their tent, looking at the river, the nocturnal sky, and the forest on the shore through a relatively narrow slit. In the river, some fish were splashing, possibly the relatives of the giant gar that the girls have caught earlier, and various bats were skimming over the river, hunting gnats and mosquitoes. An idyll, in other words, but for an owl’s hooting, that sent Quinn in spasms of fear, to Daria’s greater amusement, as the older girl watched the constellations materialize in the darkening sky. “By the lepolite, this is so beautiful!” Daria finally spoke.

Quinn frowned. “I don't think so. I mean, nature’s okay – in small, small doses, and this is definitely an O.D. area. Next, aren’t you worried about mom and dad? In this thicket that's around us, a day-time search would’ve not been a lark, and this now, in the dark – I’d be rather fishing for another shark!”

“Excuse me?” Daria finally stopped contemplating life on other planets, including Mars. “When did we fish for a shark?”

“Well, what is that thing anyways? If it isn’t a shark-“

“Think a really big pike then. Or a barracuda. Not a shark.”

“Same difference. I once saw that book of yours, ‘Monsters of the Sea’, and both sharks and barracudas were there.”

A faint smile almost touched Daria’s lips in the dark. “Ah, yes. ‘Monsters of the Sea’. My very first text book.”

“Oh, come on! ‘Textbook’? Half of the book consisted of photographs!”

“It’s the content that counts-“

“Excuse me,” a totally new, strange voice spoke out of nowhere.

Both Daria and Quinn eeked, but Daria re-composed herself faster. “Mr. Smythe?” she finally asked.

“Yes. Now tell me the events of today starting with your arrival here on this morning in detail.”

Daria and Quinn exchanged glances with each other. “Well, okay,” Daria spoke. “But you won't get any wealth of information – I was fishing.”

“No problem,” Quinn quickly said, smiling winsomely at the senior ranger’s assistant. “Well, Mr. Ranger, sir, our arrival here today had been omened with a scandal…”


Jane and Audrey were standing before the Lanes’ house, feeling somehow weird and awkward, without any knowledge or understanding as to why. “See you tomorrow?” Audrey weakly said (for her, anyways).

“Sure,” Jane nodded, not feeling too upbeat herself (for her, anyways).

The pause stretched. Neither girl was somehow ready to terminate their day so… abruptly, when Monique appeared in the doorway with a ladle in her hands. “Jane?” she said suddenly, “who’s your young man, and why do you keep him outside? Say good-bye to him or invite him, one of two!”

Jane looked balefully in the older female’s direction. “Monique,” she began, but before she could break-out in her monologue, Audrey interrupted her.

“Your mom or whoever’s got a point,” she suddenly said. “My folks are waiting for me, after all. Bye Jane, see you tomorrow!” And she quickly walked away, dissolving in the dusky twilight of the night.

Jane just sighed, glared once more at Monique, and went inside.


“And all will return to the old tracks,” Daria crooned, continuing to watch the stars in the nocturnal sky (now over a literally-black forest, with one eye, and keeping the other orb over Quinn, who was flirting with the younger ranger, with her usual scope of Quinny success. All is missing now are mom and dad to-“

At that moment the doors to the rangers’ station opened, and in struggled Helen and Jake, looking more messed-up (and mussed-up) than two escaped convicts. The Morgendorffer adults were covered in mud, twigs, leafy vegetation, and et cetera. Their clothing was little bit better, looking more appropriate on a pair of human-sized hedgehogs, porcupines, or spiny anteaters. Naturally, that upon the entrance of two such ‘Creatures’, silence fell in the station as all present there observed Helen and Jake, who were flushing like mad now. And amongst all those stares, Daria Morgendorffer, stiff and straight as an arrow of a beam of a stellar light, stamped in a pseudo-military fashion over to her folks and asked:

“Can we go home now?”

Helen exhaled with a sound. “Tomorrow,” she said. “We’ll go home the first thing tomorrow.”

Jake merely nodded.


Jane Lane was sitting in her room, getting ready to bed. Only one last thing remained – her entry into her computer diary (the last, but quite hardy, remnant of her bet with Daria). “Dear Diary,” Jane was writing, “today was one of my strangest days in my life, and it’s mostly because of Audrey. Are all people in Boston as strange as her? According to her - yes. Just into what am I getting in this fall? Daria too, of course, but she can obviously handle it better than me, Miss. Monotone Girl... Anyways, I think this is going to be like one of those pop songs: ‘And everything changes’... Look, I'm starting blub, so I'm tuning-out: Cheers!

Jane Lane turned-off the electricity in her room and went to bed.

The strange Saturday was finally over.