SO Out of Fashion
by Tazzie

(Episode 4 of season 1:
The "Not Another New Kid Series!" Series)

(Scene: Griffin home. Linda is sitting on the couch reading a magazine called "The Modern Business Woman" when Sandi comes down the stairs. She moves to go to the kitchen, but Linda stops her.)

Linda: Sandi, could you come here a moment?

Sandi: Like, what? I need to finish reading this article of Waif while everything's fresh in my mind.

Linda: Your father and I have talked and we think it would be a good move to get you out of Lawndale. We were thinking of moving to a better area of Texas. That high school... People just run WILD there. And that woman Li is a lunatic.

Sandi: But mom! We CAN'T move.

Linda: Unless you have some reasonable objection, it's already been decided.

Sandi(thought V.O): Think fast Griffin!((Can YOU smell the wood burning?)) You have to get that bitch Mel, her sister, and her loser friends back! Wait! I know! (O.L.) Gee, mom. I AM the president of the Fashion Club, and all. It would leave the whole club in ruins if *I* left. Not to mention how much I would miss being apart of the club.

Linda: Sandi, I haven't seen you conduct a meeting in a week.

Sandi(thought V.O.): Damn Quinn! Now I have to forGIVE her. (O.L.) They've just been at Quinn's house.

Linda: We'll see...

Sandi: I need to go call Quinn. (leaves)

(Scene: Chez Morgendorffer. Dinner table. The usual drill: Jake reading the paper, Helen on her cell, Quinn on the cordless phone, and Daria reading a book.)

Helen(on phone): Eric, we need that evidence! (pause) She wants you to do WHAT? (pause; pondering tone) Well, yes it IS unprofessional, but like I said... We do need the evid- (pause) Alright, then. When we lose the case- (pause) Good. Talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up)

Daria(not looking up from book; amused tone): What did they want him to do?

Helen(sharply): Daria... (Daria Mona Lisa smiles)

Jake(looking at paper): Damn advertisements for military school...

Daria: Hm. Dad, you do realize that nobody's going to send YOU back, right?

Jake(not listening to Daria): Those poor boys. Being pushed into that damn concentration camp by their uncaring fathers! Damn you, Mad Dog! Lousy old bast-

Helen(warning): Jake...

Quinn(on phone): Well, Sandi, why are you forgiving me? (pause) I mean how can you forgive me when I didn't do anything WRONG? (pause) Just because I stepped aside?! (pause) I SMILED because it was FUNNY. (pause) You're right. Stacy and Tiffany didn't deserve it. (pause) What ABOUT you? (pause) WHAT?! (pause) You can't kick me out! (pause) ARGGHHH! (hangs up abruptly)

Daria: Trouble in hell?

Helen: DARIA...

Daria(innocent look): I mean "paradise."

Quinn(dramatic sigh): I need to be *alone*. (retreats upstairs)

Helen: I wish you'd be nicer to your sister, Daria.

Daria: I wish she'd use her brain.

Helen: I have had enough! Go TALK to your sister.

Daria: Twenty.

Helen: Two weeks grounding.

Daria(sighs): Fine, fine. (goes upstairs)

Jake(finally looking up from the paper): Where did the girls go?

Helen(exasperated): REALLY, Jake! (leaves)

Jake: What'd I do?

(Scene: Quinn's room. Music: Sum 41 - Pain For Pleasure~ Quinn is flipping through a copy of Waif without really looking at it. There is a knock on the door.)

Quinn(dramatic): I'm in a pit of despair at the moment. Come back later.

Daria(entering): May have to use that one some time...

Quinn: What part of "Come back later" do you NOT understand???

Daria: What happened with Sandi?

Quinn(eyes narrowing; suspicious tone): Why do you care?

Daria: Can't a sister want to find out what's going on in her sibling's life?

Quinn: You're being paid, aren't you?

Daria: Hm.. Sort of. But now I'm curious. What happened?

Quinn(another dramatic sigh): Sandi said that at the next meeting they'll review why I should or shouldn't be kicked out of the Fashion Club. And the odds of my staying aren't looking too good.

Daria: It's not the worst thing in the world, Quinn.

Quinn(angry): And what's THAT supposed to mean?

Daria(irritated): It's supposed to MEAN, Quinn, that maybe instead of following the crowd for once, and being afraid of what everybody will think of you, that you should use your brain and take the path less traveled by you.

Quinn(throwing her hands up in the air): I don't know WHY I bother talking to you! (beat) Besides, all this is you and your little friends' fault!

Daria(pissed): REALLY? OUR fault? Who was pushing Mel's INNOCENT sister around? Huh? Or were those apparations that just LOOKED like you and the rest of the Fashion Club?

Quinn(acidic): YOU'RE the ones who set up that catapult! Your two friends were the ones who dumped their lunches on me and Sandi!

Daria(enraged): The lunch thing was a damn JOKE! As for the catapult- You know what Quinn? I don't know why *I* bother talking to YOU! Or why I'm even bothering to justify to you my, and other's, actions. (turning to leave; then turns back) And for the RECORD, I am getting really sick of everyone refering to them as my "little friends!" It's really damn irritatiing! (stomps out)

(Scene: Hallway P.O.V. Music plays on. The door opens and Helen, who has been hanging on their every word, steps back. Daria stomps out and sees Helen. She throws her hands in the air.)

Daria: I can't stand this anymore! I'll be at Jane's for the night. (turns her back and starts toward her room.)

Helen(finding her voice): It's a school night!

Daria(turning around): WHO CARES?! (goes into her room)

Helen(quietly to herself): Good one, Morgendorffer. Turn your daughters into their father, why don't you.

(Scene: Casa Lane. Daria approaches carrying a green overnight bag and rings the doorbell. The door opens to reveal Amanda Lane.)

Amanda: Hello, Daria.

Daria: Um, hi, Mrs. Lane. Is Jane around?

(Just now, Wind runs out of the house with Chiquito, Penny's parrot, hot on his pursuit. After them, comes Penny obviously trying to reclaim her parrot. Next out, Trent and Vince are running after the parrot, too. Vince carrying a ripped up photo and Trent carrying his guitar with three snapped strings.)

Daria: Um?

Amanda: I think she's-

(Just now, Courtney walks up crying with Adrian in tow.)

Courtney(through tears): Adrian broke the ride in the basement!

Adrian: Did not! (The two start fighting.)

Daria: Uh...

Amanda(yelling over noise): I. think. she. said. something. about. a. girl. named. Mel!

Daria(yelling): Ah! Thank. you! (turns and leaves)

Amanda(quietly): God help me..

(Scene: Waters' place. Around dusk. Daria wonders up to the door and presses the doorbell. The door opens to reveal Jane, Drew, and Mel.)

Jane(smirking): And then there were four.

Daria: Ha. Ha. (beat) Why'd you come here, and not my house?

Jane: Wasn't in the mood for making a napkin swan tonight. (grins)

Mel: What brings you here?

Daria: My sister's lack of depth, and my mother's lack of knowledge.

Drew: Ooh, nice combination.

Mel: Come in. (beat) Hope you don't mind the couch in the living room?

Daria(stepping in): At this point? I'll take the gutter out front.

Jane(whistles): That bad?

Daria: Oh yeah.

(Scene: Quinn's bedroom. Quinn is on the cordless.)

Quinn(on phone): So YOU'RE against me TOO, Tiffany? (pause) But I didn't set up the paint! (pause) Graaah!! WhatEVER, you, you, PARASITE! (abruptly clicks off phone; to self) I suppose there's no point calling Stacy. (looks downcast, sadly)

(Scene: Waters' place. Mel's room. Drew is lightly snoring on a black bean-bag chair, Jane is sketching what looks like alien versions of Daria's family, Mel is surfing the web, and Daria is laying in her "something eating at my soul" pose on Mel's bed, reading a book at the same time. The clock on the bedside table reads 1:13AM.)

Mel: So what DID happen tonight, Daria?

Daria(sighs): Same old shit. Quinn bowing down to the morons of our society, when she is truly not one of them. I told her as much. (beat; bitter) My mother butting into matters that she knows have no concern with her, and she STILL tries to bring me and my sister together. (beat; Mona Lisa smile) How's the family, Jane?

Jane(scowl): I wish they'd return to their seclusion in parts unknown. (bear) Either that or soundproof my walls.

Mel: Hm. I consider myself pretty damn lucky as far as family goes... (beat; bitterly) Sort of.

(Daria and Jane look at Mel sadly.)

(Scene: Griffin home. Sandi's room. Sandi, Quinn, Tiffany, and Stacy are scattered throughout the room.)

Sandi: I've done some thinking... And I've concluded that Quinn should stay in the Fashion Club. We shall omit the fact that Quinn looked guilty when that catapult thing got us all... painty.

Tiffany: Buuut she, like, called me a parrraasiite.

Quinn: I'm sorry, Tiffany. I was, like, upset and stuff.

Tiffany: Ooookayy.

Sandi: Like, um, welcome back, or whatever.

Stacy: Yeah!

Quinn: Thanks!

(Scene: LHS Corridor. Daria and Mel's lockers. Daria, Mel, Drew, and Jane are gathered around talking.)

Jane: Do you think Quinn took your words to heart?

Daria: Doubt it.

Mel: That's too bad.

Daria(sigh): I'm past caring. If she wants to waste time with the Fashion Club and kill her braincells then I'm in no position to stop her.

(beat; the Fashion Club comes walking down the hall. They're engrossed in a conversation about nail polish, but Quinn seems distracted.)

Drew: I guess she didn't take your advice...

(Scene: Chez Morgendorffer. Living room. Music: System of a Down - Sugar~ The Fashion Club is discussing this month's issue of Waif. Quinn's still looking a little distracted. Sandi notices this time.)

Sandi: Like, Quinn, is this not interesting enough for you? (beat) Quinn? (beat; loudly) Quinn!

Quinn: Hmm?

Sandi: You seem, like, distracted or whatever.

Tiffany: Yeahhhh.. Distrraccteddd.

Quinn: Uhm, no, I'm just.. um.. contemplating, um...

Sandi: NeverMIND.

(At this point, Daria, Mel, Drew, and Jane come in through the front door.)

Drew: So who was that guy in the football uniform? He didn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. And that girl with the squeaky voice... My god..

Daria: Kevin and Brittany. Devoid of any intelligence outside Football and Cheerleading... And then not much therein.

(Pan back to FClub)

Sandi: Like, what are THEY doing here Quinn?

Quinn: Uh..

(Pan back to Daria, Mel, Drew, and Jane.)

Mel: Damnit, it's raining stupidity.

Daria: Let's go upstairs guys.

(Pan back to FClub)

Sandi: And just what is that supposed to mean, MEL?

(Pan back to Mel, already starting up the stairs.)

Mel: Figure it out.

Sandi: WhatEVER. Quinn, can't that weird girl and her friends go somewhere else?

(Pan to Daria's irritated look.)

Daria: Last time I checked, this was my house. (beat) Or my pare-

Quinn: Daria! Can't you just go, um, upstairs? PLEASE?

Daria(following her friends; sigh): Yeah, Quinn. (quieter) Keep hiding your intelligence.

(Pan back to Fashion Club.)

Stacy: Your cousin is like always here Quinn.

Sandi: Like, was she about to say PARENTS?

Quinn(nervous): No-

Sandi: She's, like, your sister! Omigod! (beat)

Quinn: No, she's no- (beat; Daria's words come back to her: ) "Maybe instead of following the crowd for once, and being afraid of what everybody will think of you, that you should use your brain and take the path less traveled by you." (O.L.) Yes, Sandi, she's my sister.

Sandi: So you, like LIED to us all this time?

Tiffany: That is sooo wrong.

Stacy(meekly): Well, I kind of kne-

Sandi: We're going to have to reassess your value to this club. I mean, we can't have liars in it, after all.

Quinn(something's snapped): You know WHAT, Sandi? (beat) I'm sick of tiptoeing around you. You can take this club and shove it up your ass! (beat) Get out!

(Pan to top of stairs where Daria stands with a shocked look.)

Sandi(thought V.O.): Oh no! I'm going to have to move. Nice move, Sandi!(O.L.) But, Quinn..

Stacy: I'm with Quinn, Sandi! You're just a, a, a BITCH!

(Pan to stairs again. Now all four of them are there. Drew is trying to avoid bursting out with laughter, as are Jane and Mel. Daria is wearing a Mona Lisa smile. She starts going down the stairs, and the other three follow. Drew, Mel, and Jane, unable to stifle their laughter any longer, burst into laughter. Sandi looks mortified.)

Sandi: I. I. I.

Quinn(really on a roll): Anyone who thinks Sandi's worth a damn, raise your hand!

(Whatever hands happened to be in the air came down immediately. All except for Tiffany, who raised her hand.)

Mel(through spurts of laughter): Hah! You suck!

Sandi: Come on, Tiffany, let's get out of here! (Tiffany and Sandi leave.)

(Drew, Mel, Daria, and Jane head back upstairs.)

Stacy: What now, Quinn?

Quinn: I really don't know, Stacy.

(Scene: Sandi's blue convertible. Music: REM - The Apologist~ She's driving behind a blue SUV (the other Griffin's car) through a residential area. A U-Haul is behind her car.)

Sandi: You haven't heard the last of me, Lawndale.

(Scene: Chez Morgendorffer. Music continues. Quinn's room three days after the scene with Sandi. Quinn is flipping through a copy of Waif. There is a knock.)

Quinn: Come in. (Daria enters)

Daria: Hi, Quinn.

Quinn: Are you being paid again?

Daria: No... (beat) I wanted to um...

Quinn(smirk): Apologize?

Daria: Rub it in, why don't you.

Quinn(meekly): Daria?

Daria: Hm?

Quinn: I'm sorry, too.

Daria: S'ok. (beat; turns to leave, then turns back.) You really impressed me. (beat) For once I was glad to admit that you were my sister. (leaves)

(Cut to Quinn's smile.)



All characters of Daria are property of MTV. I have absoluely no intention of stealing them, or harming them in any way... ;-P This fanfic was created solely for entertainment purposes. You can sue me if you want, but I wouldn't reccomend it... All I got is $11 and my pet bird... :)

Mel Waters and co. were created and are owned by Tanya "Tazzie" Littlefield. Copyright 2002. You steal my characters and I WILL hurt you. And then I'll call the lawyers.