Mel's Revenge
by Tazzie

(Episode 3 of season 1:
The "Not Another New Kid Series!" Series)

(Scene: LHS Cafeteria. Music: Idlewild - A Little Discourage. Daria, Mel, Drew, and Jane sit in the cafteria. Drew, Daria, and Jane are watching Mel, as she writes something that nobody else can see. She resembles a mad scientist drawing up formulas. Finally Jane pipes up.)

Jane: Um, Einstien, are you okay? (beat) Mel. (beat) MEL! (Mel snaps her head up and looks at Jane. There are dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep)

Mel: Huh?

Daria: You okay, Mel? You look a little... tired?

Mel: Fine. Just fine. Need to finish. (goes back to work)

Drew: You've seen one large aspect of Mel. Work-driven.

Jane: Mmmhmm...

Daria: Is she going to be alright?

Drew: As long as she gets some sleep in the next 24 hours. Or some espresso. Whichever comes first.

(Daria is staring at something behind Drew and Jane. Drew and Jane turn to meet Daria's look, which has now become a cold glare. Quinn is approaching their table. They too, turn on the cold glare. Even Mel looks up from her work and turns on the ultimate death glare, a glare that could bring any particle to absolute zero.)

Quinn: Um, hi?

Daria: Quinn- (Daria was interrupted as she tried to warn her sister)

Mel: What the fuck do YOU want?

Quinn: I. I. I. (sigh) I wanted to say that I was sorry what I did to your sister, Brooke. It wasn't my idea, but that still doesn't make it okay. I feel really bad. Sandi would've thrown me out of the Fashion club if I hadn't done it. I know if I wanted to payback someone, it should've been you, and not your innocent sister. So, I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry... (beat) Well, that's all. Cya. (leaves)

Mel(gets a pissed look): Damnit! Now I have to alter these plans!

(Drew, Daria, and Jane exchange uneasy glances)


O'Neill's classroom. Mel is sketching up her "plans" at warp speed. O'Neill approaches Mel's desk and says something. Mel holds up her hand as a "just a sec" gesture and Mr. O'Neill sighs and shakes his head.

Barch's room. Drew and Mel are sitting next to eachother at a lab table, Mel is explaining something to Drew while showing Drew a few of her plans. He's grinning and nodding. Barch approaches the table and hands a paper to Drew. It says, "Detention after school. Distracting a young lady from her classwork, you MAN!" Drew sighs and Mel quirks a small smile.

DeMartino's class. Mel is finally catching up on her sleep, but it seems that she's chosen the wrong class to do so... DeMartino gets right up in Mel's face and yells something, his eye bulges as her eyes snap open. She jumps a mile in the air. Daria quirks a Mona Lisa smile. Jane is in stitches.

LHS Cafeteria. Mel is explaining some plans to Daria, Drew, and Jane. She's no longer looking tired, as she has four empty cups that once contained espresso... Jane and Drew look a little confused, but Daria has a Mona Lisa smile, with a tinge of evilness to it. She turns to Drew and Jane and explains a little further, and they grin, too.

LHS corridor. Sandi and Tiffany are walking along. Drew trips them both. Sandi looks like shes pissed, but she's still smiling. Drew is too, though, knowing whats coming.

DeFoe's room. Jane is inconspicuously sneaking paint out the window, handing it to Daria. They're both grinning ear to ear.

DeMartino's class. Now it's Daria who's drawing up notes. The notes seem to be on catapults. DeMartino looks at her confusedly. Daria grins.

Barch's room. Mel is mixing some chemicals, and Barch quirks a nervous eyebrow. Jane and Daria enter shot carrying a couple cans of paint up to Mel. Mel flashes a thumbs up at Daria and Jane, and they flash it back.

Woodshop. (I know there isn't a woodshop class, but now there is. ;-) And it's Drew's specialty.) Drew is tapping is fingers nervously as Mr. Mahogany(Lol. /shrug) eyes him. Then, Daria enters shot and hands Drew some catapult sketches and notes. He gives her a thumbs up, and she blushes and returns it.)


(Scene: Night shot of Laawwwwndalle High. Music: Metallica - I Disappear~ Cut to four people running down the halls inside decked out in black. The tallest one is holding a bulging bag. Could it be our four buddies?)

Daria: Where's her locker, Mel?

Mel: Damn! I knew I forgot something.

Jane and Drew: MEL!

Daria: Go wait by Mel's locker you guys. I'm going to go look in the records in Ms. Li's office for her locker number.

Jane: Maybe we should call it off, guys.

Drew: Yeah, this is getting a little risky.

Daria: After all this work? You just want to QUIT?

Mel: Daria's right. You two can go, but we're finishing this.

Jane(sighs): I'm in.

Drew: Me too. Hurry up in Li's office. (beat) Careful, Daria.

Daria(already taking off running): I will be. Be at Mel's locker. OH! And watch out for the dogs.

Mel: ...Dogs?

Jane: Um, Li has guard dogs. Hopefully we won't-

(Dog appears, and bares it's teeth, growling.)

Jane(con't): see one...

Drew: Shit! Run!

(Scene: Li's office. Music plays on. Daria is lock-picking a file cabinet with a hairpin. It pops open. Daria is sifting through files and comes across something that interests her. She's reading in the flashlight beam when her eyes go wide. She quirks a Mona Lisa smile, and stuffs a few papers into her pocket. Then she continues sifting through.)

(Scene: Mel's locker. Music continues. We hear pounding feet as Jane, Mel, and Drew approach.)

Mel(panting): We. lost. the. dog.

Drew(catching his breath): Where does she get the money for this stuff.

Jane: You guys are amateurs... (beat) Money... (beat) DAMNIT! Security cameras.

(We hear more pounding feet and Daria comes into shot.)

Daria: I took care of the cameras earlier. (beat)

Drew: Well?

Daria: Well, what?

Mel: Did you get the info?

Daria(gets an odd look on her face): Yeah.

Jane: What's her locker number!?

Daria(realization hits her): Oh THAT. Yeah. E12.

(Drew, Jane, and Daria take off running. Mel looks after Daria suspiciously, and then takes off running after the other three.)

(Scene: Sandi's locker. Music plays on. Daria is turning the lock and the locker pops open. Mel and Drew open the bag Drew's been carrying to reveal a small catapult. Mel and Drew bend into the locker(no easy feat) and begin setting up the catapult.)

Mel: Just about...

Daria: Are you sure this'll work.

Drew: Oh yeah. Once she opens the locker, she and the fashion club will be covered in itch-paint. Minus Quinn.

Jane: Are you sure that's all the paint has in it?

Drew: Thats what Mel said.

Mel(con't): ... done. Hand me the paint, Jane. (Jane does so.) Ok. That should be good. (snicker) This is gonna rule. This will definitely earn us legendry at Lawndale.

Daria: Or something worse.

(Scene: LHS corridor. Music: Guns N' Roses - Back Off Bitch~ Cut to Sandi's locker. Daria, Mel, Drew, and Jane are standing nearby, grinning. The Fashion Club approaches.)

Mel: Get Quinn away from them. I have some sympathy for her.

Daria(sighs): Just when I get a chance to pay her back for seventeen years of hell. (beat; loudly) Quinn! Could you come here a sec?

Quinn: What do you WANT Daria?

Daria: Just... stay over here for a sec.

Quinn(raising an eyebrow): Um. K.

(Pan to FClub, not noticing Quinn's absence.)

Sandi(turning her lock): And I was like, those pants are SO out.

(Locker pops open. Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany are surprised by the black paint that gets flung all over them. Then they itch like crazy.)

FClub(minus Quinn): Eeeeeyyyuuuuuccccchhh!!! Ahhh!!!

(Daria Mona Lisa smiles, as does Quinn, while Jane, Drew, and Mel are doubled over in hysterical laughter. Stacy and Tiffany run off to the bathroom, but Sandi stays.)

Sandi(pushes Daria): You did this, didn't you, you freak?!

Daria(surprised): I-

(Mel, with a tiny tinge of red in her eyes that nobody can see, in rage, pushes Sandi with great force against a bank of lockers. Sandi cries out in pain. In one fluid motion, Mel moves to Sandi, and picks her up by the front of her shirt and raises her a foot in the air, up to her face.)

Mel(through clenched teeth): You EVER touch one of my friends, or my sister EVER again, and you die. Let this be a lesson to you, you little bitch. You want to play with the big dogs? Make sure you know who you're playing with next time.

(Having said this, Mel flings Sandi down the hall, maybe five feet. Sandi's eyes are wide, and she gets up and runs off after her fellow Fashion Clubbers. Daria and Jane's eyes are wide with shock. But Drew just shakes his head.)

Drew: Yet another aspect of Mel. Rage.

Daria(finding her voice): Where does she get these skills from.

Drew: Don't forget, we come from New York.

Jane: Oh, yeah.

(Apparently, the three aren't the only ones that saw Mel's anger. Ms. Li steps into shot.)

Ms. Li: I don't know where YOU come from, young lady, but at (hushed voice) Lawndale High (normal voice) we do not behave like this. I'm going to call your-

Mel(interrupting): Why don't you shut the hell up, Li.

(Knowing that she's gone to far, she clamps a hand over her mouth, and closes her eyes. "Shit, here it comes." Ms. Li's face turns brick red.)



All characters of Daria are property of MTV. I have absoluely no intention of stealing them, or harming them in any way... ;-P This fanfic was created solely for entertainment purposes. You can sue me if you want, but I wouldn't reccomend it... All I got is $11 and my pet bird... :)

Mel Waters and co. were created and are owned by Tanya "Tazzie" Littlefield. Copyright 2002. You steal my characters and I WILL hurt you. And then I'll call the lawyers.