Mystik SPIRAL (The White Fic)
by jak981125
Preface: It was a time of stress and tension for the band.
Nothing they had put out lately was really that good and
critics predicted their days were numbered (of course they
had been doing that since the day Mystik Spiral first played).
Not only that but tensions were running high within the group.
Jesse (shouting): And I say chunky peanut butter is better!
Max (shouting): Chunky?! Are you crazy?
Jesse: No, I’m Jesse.
The group traveled to India to hang out with the lamas.
Jesse was most disappointed to find that these particular lamas
objected strongly when he tried to ride one of them (say, is your
mama a lama?). It was here in India that the group was trained
in the ancient art of burping the alphabet.
The band came back ready to rock and with a whole new
attitude (which they promptly forgot and went right back to their
old ways). The band went to work and by November came out
with an album that made the critics eat crow. The album was
simply titled “Mystik SPIRAL”
And away we go....
!!!!!!
DISK 1
!!!!!!
===
1. BACK IN SUBURBAN LAWNDALE
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Back In The USSR”
Driving down the highway on I-44
Trying just to bide my time
Yes we're coming back from our cross country tour
Didn't make a single dime
We're back in suburban Lawndale
This town feels just like a jail, boy
Back in suburban Lawndale
Coming home too soon just makes me really mad
Man this is a big disgrace
Threw us out of every single gig we had
'Cause we'd empty out the place
We're back in suburban Lawndale
This town feels just like a jail, boy
Back in suburban Lawndale
Well the jocks in town act like chimpanzees
They'd make a brick look smart
The girls in town always laugh at me
I guess they just don't know good art
We're back in suburban Lawndale
This town feels just like a jail, boy
Back in suburban Lawndale
Well the jocks in town act like chimpanzees
They'd make a brick look smart
The girls in town always laugh at me
I guess they just don't know good art
Spare me from the sewage-smelling streets downtown
Hide me from the Fashion Club
Show me not these sell-out bands that bring me down
Covering The Doors in pubs
We're back in suburban Lawndale
This town feels just like a jail, boy
Back in suburban Lawndale
===
2. DEAR SANDI
lead singer: Jesse
tune of: “Dear Prudence”
Dear Sandi
Girl that all the folks despise
Dear Sandi
See pure evil in your eyes
Your debts are up
Your grades are down
The meanest chick in all this town
Dear Sandi
We can’t wait for your demise
Dear Sandi
Spiteful puppy-kicking girl
Dear Sandi
Just to see you is to hurl
You undereat, you overdress
And still you look like such a mess
Dear Sandi
You look like drag-clad Milton Berle
Don’t hand around round
Don’t hang around round round
Don’t hang around
Dear Sandi
Hit the road and don’t come back
Dear Sandi
I’ll even come and help you pack
So adios, good-bye, so long
We’ll celebrate when you are gone
Dear Sandi
No more sunny days turned black
Dear Sandi
Girl that all the folks despise
Dear Sandi
See pure evil in your eyes
Your debts are up
Your grades are down
The meanest chick in all this town
Dear Sandi
We can’t wait for your demise
===
3. ONE HORSE BURB
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Glass Onion”
I told you about life at the Zon Club
A place just one step up from a brew pub
Well here's another place to avoid
Where I was annoyed
Traumatized way back in high school
Hiding in the men's room for hours
Living in a one horse burb
I told you about the meanies in pink, man
They bugged me even more than N'SYNC, man
Well here's another thing you can fear
If you had to live here
Sharing a cab with a stranger, yeah
One who hasn't bathed in a week, yeah
Living in a one horse burb
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Living in a one horse burb
I told you about Mrs. Johansen
Her waistline to this day is expandn'
Well here's another word for the wise
Take my advice
Leaving this town in a hurry
Finding a life somewhere else
Living in a one horse burb
===
4. SAY GOOD-BYE, SAY SO LONG
lead singer: Trent
tune of: “Obladi, Oblada”
Upchuck crashed his Yugo into Sandi’s Ford
Scared that she’d get mad and she’d explode
Sandi said to Upchuck “You’re gonna pay you dork!”
And she says this as she runs him off the road
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
Sandi gets pulled over by a traffic cop
Doesn’t have her license so she runs
Gets caught and arrested right there on my block
And we all go out so we can watch the fun
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
In a couple of hours she is booked and locked away
She’s still to dumb to yet comprehend the price that she’ll have to pay
Happy ever after in the city jail
Sandi’s panic-stricken and phones home
Sandi’s mother Linda will not pay her bail
And folks five states away could hear her moan
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
In a couple of hours she is booked and locked away
She’s still to dumb to yet comprehend the price that she’ll have to pay
Happy ever after in the city jail
Sandi pays society her debt
Sandi’s mother Linda will not pay her bail
And when she gets out she will sue her mom I bet
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
Say good-bye, say so long
Sandi dear, oh
Smell you later Sandi dear
And if you want some fun
Then just say good-bye, so long
===
5. WILD CRAZY GUY
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Wild Honey Pie”
Crazy guy, crazy guy
Crazy guy, crazy guy
Crazy guy, crazy guy
Crazy guy, crazy guy
I’ll sue you, crazy guy
===
6. THE CONTINUING STORY OF MR. O'NEIL
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill”
Hey Mr. O'Neil
How do you feel
Mr. O'Neil?
Once Tim ran a day camp and the campers nearly fried
In case of accidents he kept the kids inside
Real soon they'd had enough and they thought about homicide
All the students sing
Hey Mr. O'Neil
How do you feel
Mr. O'Neil?
Deep in the jungle where the paintball war was fought
Tim snagged his one true love, at least that what he thought
Well he's just lucky that they never did get caught
All the students sing
Hey Mr. O'Neil
How do you feel
Mr. O'Neil?
One time Doug Thompson tried to threaten poor old Tim
"I'll kick your butt you man!", his woman butted in
That mean fool Thompson should have known he couldn't win
All the students sing
Hey Mr. O'Neil
How do you feel
Mr. O'Neil?
===
7. WHILE MY GUITAR'S REPOSSESSED
lead singer: Nick
tune of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”
I look at my dog and I notice she’s sleeping
While my guitar’s repossessed
If you take my guitar I will surely be weeping
Still my guitar’s repossessed
I can’t believe I didn’t pay, man
Won’t you please take a check?
If you refuse then I’m DOA, man
My pals will break my neck
I look at your face, I see no understanding
While my guitar’s repossessed
You don’t buy my lie ‘bout that gig we’ll be landing
Still my guitar’s repossessed
I don’t know how I was bankrupted
After we jammed so hard
I watched QVC and I was corrupted
Maxed out my Master Card
My friends will be mad if they don’t have no bass now
While my guitar’s repossessed
But you could care less as you laugh in my face now
Still my guitar’s repossessed
===
8. MISERY IS A COLD VAN
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Happiness Is A Warm Gun”
We’re not a band that works that much
Do do do do do do
Oh, yeah
We’re well acquainted with the boredom and the cold
And things Max says when he’s talking in his sleep
The van as it stalls near correctional facilities when they’re all outside
Trying to devise a way to cook some weiners with a butane torch
Some bad impressions of Babe Ruth done by Nick which are
Getting on our nerves real quick
I need a life or I’ll go insane
And you would too with an act this lame
I need a life or I’ll go insane
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Grab me the cables and jump the van
Misery is a cold van
Misery is a cold van mamma
When I’m working on your engine
And your hood falls on my head
I know nothing can get much worse
Because Misery is a cold van
Misery is a cold van, yes it is
Misery is a cold, yes it is, van
Ah don’t you know that
Misery is a cold van mamma
===
9. JANEY MY SIS
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Martha My Dear”
Janey my sis
Though you’re heading off to Boston please
Write back to me
Janey my sis, don’t forget me
Janey my sis
Please come home soon you silly girl
I’m all alone
When you find yourself with some time to kill
Call me so you can vent about the jerks in art school
You silly girl
Don’t take no guff in Beantown
Don’t take no guff
Be yourself and see
What you were meant to be
In your future, you silly girl
I’ll come and visit you silly girl
And see how you’ve done
When I find myself with some time to kill
I’ll call you up so I can vent about the jerks in Lawndale
You silly girl
Janey my sis
You have always been my favorite sibling, please
Write back to me
Janey my sis, don’t forget me
Janey my sis
===
10. I'M SO FIRED
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “I’m So Tired”
We’re so fired, the audience walked out
“You’re so fired” we hear club owners shout
We’d best be leaving quickly before Maxwell starts to pout
Oh gosh no
We’re so fired, we’re feeling really down
The one place we don’t get fired is the Zon Club in our own home town
We’ll play that place forever; no one else wants us around
You’d think we’re getting annoyed
Our cash flow is getting destroyed
But we don’t quit, we never give up
Oh yeah we’ll rock on until we erupt
You know we’d give up everything we got for a little piece of fame
We’re so fired, we’re unemployed once more
Oh yeah, we’re so fired and once again tossed out the door
And we’ve been getting pink-slipped since 1994
You’d think we’re getting annoyed
Our cash flow is getting destroyed
But we don’t quit, we never give up
Oh yeah we’ll rock on until we erupt
You know we’d give up everything we got for a little piece of fame
Give up everything we got for a little piece of fame
Give up everything we got for a little piece of fame
===
11. BLACK VAN
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Blackbird”
Black van driving in the dead of night
Waking every dog for miles around
Got too loud
Just as soon as we had passed the Lawndale City Pound
Black van driving in the dead of night
Shaking ever time I hit the gas
Just stay right
We’d be getting whiplash if we ever tried to pass
Black van drive
Black van drive
‘Till we stall and we’re done for the night
Black van drive
Black van drive
‘Till we stall and we’re done for the night
Someone call a towtruck or we’ll be here all night long
Someone call a towtruck or we’ll be here all night long
===
12. WAR
lead singer: Nick
tune of “Piggies”
Look at our demented culture waging war on girls
Making them feel fat and ugly till they go and hurl
They don't care one bit, cause they make money
Look at them then try their witchcraft on some little boys
Turn them all so antisocial so they'll buy more toys
Parents buy more toys to keep them quiet
With their profits escalating, I doubt they care who's being harmed
Make boys greedy and girls erotic
Until their own kids go psychotic
Everywhere there's messed up values thanks to industry
And we know they get some help from our friend MTV
They don't mind a bit the war they're waging
===
13. TOMMY THE FOOL
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Rocky Raccoon”
Now in the town of Lawndale at a school of the same name
There was a jock: Tommy Sherman the fool
And Tommy was so sure that he’d be a big success
But Barch gave Tommy an F
Tommy didn’t like that
He said “I’m gonna get her back”
So he decided on a killer practical joke
Now Tommy the fool snuck into the school
Trying to get some revenge now
As Sherman snuck in he was sporting a grin
Sure that he would be avenged now
His teacher it seems had broken his dreams
By flunking him right before game day
There’d be scouts at the game from Notre Dame
But because of his grade he could not play
He put glue in the locks then looked at the clock
And realized that he should depart soon
He tried to make haste ‘till he saw his mistake
That fool locked himself in the girls room
Tried to break down the door but fell on the floor
That fool gave himself a concussion
The next day at nine he woke up to find
That Janet had broken the door down
One look at her eyes told him he would die
She forced him to wear a pink prom gown
In school all that day folks thought he was gay
Seeing him dressed like a drag queen
He was laughed at by some, got asked to the prom
And nearly got kicked off the ball team
===
14. WHY MUST YOU LIE?
lead singer: Max
tune of “Don’t Pass Me By”
You said you had some old friends
Drop in from out of town
Your hair just needed washing
And your grandma drowned
So we just can’t go out tonight
You hope I understand
But you’re lying
Does it mean you don’t want me for your man
Your car got repossessed last night
Ironic, so did mine
You fell down the stairs, broke both your legs
And nearly broke your spine
You said there was a hurricane
A flood, a fire, a plague
It’s all nonsense
Does it mean you don’t want me for your man
Why must you lie?
Don’t even try
To fool me more
Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before
Many times I’ve been lied to
And this is nothing new
So don’t you lie
Don’t even try
You called back and apologized
For all the lies you told
You say sometimes I can annoy
But I’m mostly good as gold
You said let’s go out tonight
I’d best watch my Ps Qs
‘Cause if I don’t, this time next week
You’ll say you have the flu
Why must you lie?
Don’t even try
To fool me more
Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before
Many times I’ve been lied to
And this is nothing new
So don’t you lie
Don’t even try
One two three four
five six seven eight
Why must you lie?
Don’t even try
To fool me more
Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before
Many times I’ve been lied to
And this is nothing new
So don’t you lie
Don’t even try
===
15. WHY DON'T WE MAKE SOME THINGS EXPLODE?
lead singer: Trent
tune of: if you don’t know, don’t ask (Paul was being naughty)
Why don't we make some things explode?
Why don't we make some things explode?
Why don't we make some things explode?
Why don't we make some things explode?
Having fun with fireworks
Why don't we make some things explode?
===
16. MY BILLS
lead singer: Trent
tune of “I Will”
Who knows just when I'll pay you
Or if I even will
For you know that I'm a deadbeat
And I rarely pay my bills
For I ever pay you
I'd have to sell my sis
And I really doubt she'd like that
And she'd get revenge for this
So sue me forever and forever
Sue me to heart's content
Blood from a turnip? Never ever
I don't know where your check went
But when at last I pay you
And you do get off my back
Could I borrow more cash from you
If I can't then you're a bum, you
Hope I never do become you, till then
I'll pay my bills
My bills
===
17. DARIA
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Julia”
Most of what you say is sarcasm
But you say it just for humor Daria
Daria, Daria, gifted teen, outcast
So I sing to thee my friend, Daria
Daria, lovely smile, rarely seen, outcast
So I sing to thee my friend, Daria
Her wit is razor sharp and cunningly, stunningly
Frees her mind
Daria, Daria, kindred soul, outcast
So I sing to thee my friend, Daria
When the world just ticks you off
I know you will speak your mind, Daria
Daria, loyal friend, sardonic, outcast
So I sing to thee my friend, Daria
Hum hum hum hum...outcast
So I sing to thee my friend, dear Daria, Daria, Daria
!!!!!!
DISK 2
!!!!!!
===
1. EARTH DAY
lead singers: Trent and Jesse
tune of “Birthday”
You say that it’s earth day
Got no problem with that, no
You say that it’s earth day
Let’s not get carried away though
It’s cool that’s it’s earth day
Happy earth day to you
Well I failed my emissions testing
Yes I failed my emissions testing
Yeah I failed my emissions testing
Earth day
Now I can’t drive the Tank
Earth day
And I’ve got Nader to thank
Earth day
Now I can’t drive the Tank
Hey, THANKS, yeah
Earth day
Now I can’t drive the Tank
Earth day
And I’ve got Nader to thank
Earth day
Now I can’t drive the Tank
Hey, THANKS!
You say that it’s earth day
Got no problem with that, no
You say that it’s earth day
Let’s not get carried away though
It’s cool that’s it’s earth day
Happy earth day to you
Happy earth day to you
===
2. YER SNOOZE
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Yer Blues”
Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie
Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
In the morning, wanna lie
In the evening, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
My mother says get a life
My father says get a job
I don’t think I’ll do either
‘Cause let’s face it, I’m a slob
I’m lazy, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
As long as I can rock
Then I don’t need a thing
I’ll wait for all the cash and chicks
My lazy life will bring
I’m lazy, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
It’s not that I’m overworked
It’s just that I’m underpaid
If they’d pay me to do nothing
Then man, I’d have it made, wanna lie
Yeah, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie
Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie
If I ain’t asleep already
I’ll hibernate until July
Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie
===
3. MA MORENO'S SON
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Mother Nature’s Son”
Born behind a record store
Ma Moreno’s son
All week long I’m stealing people’s hubcaps just for fun
See me play a gig in town
See the ladies flirt
Or are they really hoping someday soon I’ll wear a shirt?
Find me playing rock and roll
Ma Moreno’s son
Get free quarters when the folks mistake me for a bum
===
4. EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMEPLACE TO LIVE
EXCEPT ME AND MY BANDMATES
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Everybody’s got Something To Hide
Except Me And My Monkey”
Come on, come on
come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s freezing
Come on man, it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Everybody’s got someplace to live
Except for me and my bandmates
You’re deeper in debt as
You’re out on the street
You’re out on the street as
You’re deeper in debt
So come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s freezing
Come on man, it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Everybody’s got someplace to live
Except for me and my bandmates
Hey
The longer I beg
The more that it snows
The more that it snows
The longer I beg
So come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s getting cold
Come on man, it’s freezing
Come on man, it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Hey it’s freezing
Everybody’s got someplace to live
Except for me and my bandmates
Hey
Come on, come on, come on, come on...
===
5. SILLY RABBIT
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Sexy Sadie”
Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids
Must you humiliate yourself?
Must you humiliate yourself?
Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids
Silly Rabbit, go buy your own
Why must you try to steal from kids?
Why must you try to steal from kids?
Silly Rabbit, go buy your own
One sunny day some kids were trying to eat their breakfast
You came along to rob those poor kids blind
Silly Rabbit, the lamest of them all
Silly Rabbit, why don’t you quit?
I hear that carrots aren’t half bad
I hear that carrots aren’t half bad
Silly Rabbit, why don’t you quit?
Silly Rabbit, won’t get none yet
However cool you think you are
However cool you think you are
Silly Rabbit, won’t get none yet
He’d give us everything that he has just to sit at our table
Just one bite would brighten up his day
Silly Rabbit, the most famous but the lamest of them all
He made a fool of himself
Silly Rabbit
However cool you think you are
Silly Rabbit
===
6. PSYCHO TEACHER
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Helter Skelter”
When she gets really angry everybody better run for their lives
Cause she’s ticked, and she’s mad, and she’s sharpening knives
And things could get really ugly if she sees any men
Run, run, run!
Now do you or don’t want her to find you?
If you say yes then let me remind you
Run boy, run boy, better run for your dear life
Well you ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Yeah!
Do you or don’t think you’re a punk, you?
In her very best mood at best she will flunk you
Run boy, run boy, run boy, run for your dear life
You ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife
Look out!
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Yeah!
Look out, ‘cause here she comes!
When she gets really angry everybody better run for their lives
Cause she’s ticked, and she’s mad, and she’s sharpening knives
And things could get really ugly if she sees any men
Run, run, run!
Now do you or don’t want her to find you?
If you say yes then let me remind you
Run boy, run boy, better run for your dear life
Well you ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife
Look out!
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Psycho teacher!
Yeah!
Psycho teacher!
She’s catching up fast!
Yes she is!
Yes she is!
Catching up fast!
I got blisters on my poor feet!
===
7. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG
lead singer: Nick
tune of “Long Long Long”
I did a wrong, wrong, wrong thing
But you forced me to tell you
That I loved you
It was a wrong, wrong, wrong thing
But I was frightened of you
I resent you
Now for more money I’m searching
Now it’s my money I’m wasting
Oh, oh
She said she’d smack me, whack me
If I rejected her love for me
Someone save me
She won’t leave me
And soon she’ll bankrupt me
Someone save me!
===
8. INTERVENTION 1
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Revolution 1”
I think you need a long vacation
Well we know that you’re a real hardworking dad
You’re questioning my motivation
Well you know I’d be more than thrilled to watch your pad
But when you fear that your head will explode
I say it’s time for you to hit the road
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
I think you’ve got too much frustration
Well you know I’ve never stood inside your shoes
You’re resorting to intoxication
Well you know you’ve got a job that you could lose
But when you’re cussing like a sailor man
You need to take a break while you still can
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
I think you need some relaxation
Well you know I think your family needs it too
Let’s get you to the Greyhound station
Well you know that California’s calling you
But when you blame your whole life on your dad
You need to get a grip or else go mad
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
Why you gotta be uptight?
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Uptight, uptight, uptight
Uptight, uptight, uptight
Uptight, uptight, uptight
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah a
Uptight, uptight!
===
9. ANDREA
lead singer: Trent
tune of “Honey Pie”
She was a gothic girl
North of Lawndale way
Now she’s shocked the whole town
In a major way
And if I could talk to that girl
This is what I’d say
Andrea, oh please tell me you’re joking
That Upchuck’s simply revolting
Please won’t you dump that slime
Oh Andrea
What on earth has possessed you?
How could he have impressed you
Enough to make him yours
You became a legend of the Zon club scene
Why would you go out with him
That ugly, sleazy teen
Oh, Andrea
This is truly confusing
Not the least bit amusing
Please won’t you dump that slime
Andrea, snap out of it
I can’t see that slimeball get romantic
I think it’s really kind of tragic
Makes me sick
Now Andrea, oh please tell me you’re joking
That Upchuck’s simply revolting
Please won’t you dump that slime
Andrea, snap out of it
Hey, snap out of it Andrea
ha, ha, ha
Andrea, Andrea
====
10. WHITE BOY SHUFFLE
lead singer: Nick
tune of “Savoy Truffle”
Macarena, and YMCA
When you see me dance just stay out of my way
Doing the twist yes it's all tons of fun
But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle
Let's conga left and Bunny Hop right
A disco move makes me feel real all right
A nice ballroom step and I'm on top of the world
But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle
They say white boys can't jump or rap
Well I do hope someone will tell Eminem that
I came up with this dance myself
And I've got no skill, can you tell?
White boy shuffle!
So throw your hands up in the air
If we all do no one's gonna care
Take pride in dancing like a nerd
Because today's moves are so absurd
Macarena, and YMCA
When you see me dance just stay out of my way
Doing the twist yes it's all tons of fun
But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle
===
11. SUE BABY SUE
lead singer: Jesse
tune of “Cry Baby Cry”
Sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
Your steak had too much pepper
and you didn't know your coffee would be hot
The burns and mental trauma, well you
know they're gonna cost you quite a lot
Sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
Your mom forgot your birthday
and the subway didn't have an empty seat
The shoes you bought were just too snug
and now they have to amputate your feet
Sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
You bumped your knee at Red Roof Inn
and now you cannot work for half a year
You got a little plastered 'cause you didn't
know there's alcohol in beer
Sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
The store ran out of Twinkies and they don't
have sidewalks in your neighborhood
You ate too much Mc Donalds now you weigh
more than your doctor says you should
Sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
Sue sue sue baby, sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
Sue sue sue
Make some sucker rue
The day he ever met you
So sue baby, sue
===
12. REVOLUTION 981125
lead singer: Jesse
tune of....what tune? “Revolution 9” didn’t really have one.
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
(Sound clip: Bill Cosby “That is the dumbest thing I have
ever heard in my life”)
(Sound clip: Rosanne laughing)
(Sound clip: Adam Sandler “OJ Simpson, not a Jew”)
(Sound clip: The Tank backfiring)
(Sound clip: bit from Daria theme song)
(Sound clip: AOL starting up)
(Sound clip: Paul McCartney “No, actually we’re just
good friends”)
(Sound clip: the Roadrunner’s beep, beep)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
(Sound clip: bit from “Why Don’t We Make Some Things Explode”)
(Sound clip: the sound of fireworks)
(Sound clip: Max running around with his pants on fire)
(Sound clip: 30 seconds of the real “Revolution 9”)
(Sound clip: Curley)
(Sound clip: someone’s pants ripping)
(Sound clip: Homer Simpson riding a bomb)
(Sound clip: guy falling off roof at the tail end of Growing Pains)
(Sound clip: Woody Woodpecker’s laugh)
(Sound clip: music from Charlie Brown)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)
(Sound clip: announcement of George Harrison’s death)
(Sound clip: Mike Tyson reciting Hamlet)
(Sound clip: Nelson Muntz’s laugh)
(Sound clip: a clothes dryer)
(Sound clip: Tiny Tim doing “Tip Toe Through The Tulips”)
(Sound clip: John Lennon “Turn left at Greenland”)
(Sound clip: Life is like a box of chocolates....)
(Sound clip: opening notes from “Pinball Wizard”)
(Sound clip: Ernie sing “Rubber Duckie”)
(Sound clip: Desi Arnez “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do!”)
(Sound clip: ending nonsense from Sgt. Pepper)
(Sound clip: wild applause)
===
13. GOOD-BYE
lead singer: Max
tune of “Good Night”
Now it’s time to say good-bye
Rest in peace George
Think of us as you fly high
Rest in peace George
See you soon again
See you soon my friend
We were sad to see you die
Rest in peace George
Weird yet cool creative guy
Rest in peace George
See you soon again
See you soon my friend
We were sad to see you die
Rest in peace George
Think of us as you fly high
Rest in peace George
See you soon again
See you soon my friend
(c) 2002 Joseph Kerner
Disclaimer: Most of the songs parodied here were by John Lennon and Paul
McCartney. George Harrison wrote "While My Guitar Gently Weeps",
"Long Long Long", "Piggies", and "Savoy Truffle" Ringo Starr wrote
"Don't Pass Me By"
Other than that I know I used a ton of registered trademarks. I take no
credit for these or for the Daria series and characters.