My Dinner With Quinn (redux)


Jake, watching the Pigskin Channel, looks up from his martini as the doorbell rings.

Jake: I'll get it! (He opens the door to see the young man who was earlier accosted by squirrels.) Oh, you poor boy! I understand why you came back... (His face grows twisted and very evil.) You want revenge on the squirrels, don't you? (deadly pause) I can help you.

Young Man: I'd like that, sir. (pause) Is Quinn here?

Jake: Sure! (yelling) Quinn! Your date's here!

Quinn: (o.s.) In a minute! (Jake walks away as the sounds of footsteps are heard, and Quinn appears - then stops short as she sees him.) Oh. (pause) You.

Young Man: Come on. The Town Car's warmed up, and I think that you'll enjoy the new Australian restaurant - I know the owner. He doesn't eat much, but he's an incredible guy.

Quinn: What in the world makes you think that I'd even consider going out with you after last night's debacle?

Young Man: I'll slip the comment about dashing through your thesaurus for the moment.

(The young man reaches into his jacket, and brings out a seamstresses' tape measure - the thin white ones with the metal tab on both ends). He makes a circle with the end of the tape measure, and holds it up to Quinn.)

Quinn: (breath catches in her throat) You lie!

Young Man: You'll have to sit through some adequate Australian cuisine to find out for yourself.

Quinn: Hmmmph! (goes to the closet and gets her jacket.) And just so you know - I'm only doing this because every beautiful and popular girl has to date a loser or two in her life. It makes us appreciate the good ones all the more.

Young Man: Whatever you say. (Closes the door behind Quinn.) By the way - you did bring your credit card, didn't you? (Smirks at the shocked look on Quinn's face.)



The End



9 November 2005