Mormon Cornfield

This is based loosly on a dream I had. All characters own MTV. Whatever. This
story just takes place. Sorry if any Mormons are offended.


Jane, Daria, Jodie, Mack, Quinn, Sandi, Stacy, Tiffany, Joey, Jeffy, Jamie,
Kevin, Brittany, Andrea, and Upchuck, with many extra's, were sitting in Ms.
Bennet's applied economics class, with a split screen showing seperate times
for the freshman/junior classes. When Kevin starts to speak, the split goes
away, to just the juniors.

No one is listening to her drone, or looking at the confusing football-like
diagram on the board.

Mrs. B: So, because we all want to experience this for ourselfs, we are going
to spend Spring break working at My brother's farm.

At this, the class wakes up and groans.

Kevin: Mrs. B? Can we have campfires and sing folks songs and play catch?

Mrs. B: No, Kevin. You're thinking of a camping trip. This is a job. You will
all recieve a small fee for your services on the farm, based on what we see
you do. Here are the slips you will need. The bus leaves on Saturday, at 10:00
am, sharp, so be there, with your luggage, and this slip signed.

THe bell rings, and everyone grabs a slip and leaves. Daria and Jane roll
their eyes as they look at the slip.

Jane: Lets see. Plow fields. Milk cows. Feed all animals. Collect chicken
eggs. Gather corn and other vegetables from the spring crop. clean cow dung.
Great!

Daria: friglebatermalloopienessgrouphugcrap. (Mumbling noises)

Just then, Kevin walks by. He has folded his slip so all he can see is the
last one.

Kevin: Clean cows done. Hey, all we have to do is clean cows, babe! Steak!

Brittany: Why, you insensetive jerk! Calling me baby steak! Think how the baby
must feel! And you folded your paper so you couldn't see all you had to do!
Unfold it! Hmph!

She walks off. Kevin follows dejectedly behind.

DARIA'S HOUSE: at dinner time. Daria and Quinn have just told Helen about the
field trip.

Helen: Why, girls, I think this is GREAT! It will give you real life
experiences!

Quinn: But... But that's not fair! I wanna stay here!

Daria: Face it, Quinn. There's no way out of this.

Quinn: Ooooh, you... You brain! It's all your fault! Why me?!

She storms off to her room.

Jake: Well I think it's great that you two want to buy a farm and roast cows,
but we just can't afford it.

Helen: Oh, Jake! Do you EVER listen?

Jake: But Helen, I'm reading about E-Coli!

THE BUS FOR THE FARM: Both groups are there, and will be seated according to
last name. There are two busses.

Mrs. B: Landon, Jodie. Lane, Jane. Mackenzie, Michal. Morgendorffer, Daria.
Morgendorffer, Quinn. (These are 2 seaters, on this bus).

They are now seated and waiting to go. Each person's belongings are being
screened. Cut to the fashion club, outside, being yelled at and yelling about
having to have only 2 bags.

Daria: It's gonna be a LONG trip.

THE FARM: the group has gotten out, and is being led to an empty field with
rolled up tents strewn about.

Mrs. B: Now, everyone, four people to every tent, and try and keep it
appropriate.

Cut to Daria, Jane, Jodie, and Mack setting up their tent with ease. Everyone
else has trouble.

These are the pairs: Jane, Daria, Jodie, and Mack/Quinn and the three Jays/the
remaining three fashion clubbers/Kevin, Brittany, Andrea, and Upchuck. Note:
The last 2 are NOT dating.

Musical montage to "On the road again," With misc shots of farming, ending in
a cornfield. THe group stays and works. Jodie and Daria are plowing.

Daria: This (huff) is (huff) tuff (huff) stuff (huff).

Jodie: I (huff) must (huff) agree (huff).

Helicopter effect (Going over the field slow, with little sound, save for a
talking "buzz") shows others laughing and relaxing. A bird lands on Andrea's
head. She scowls, and it squalks and flies for it's life.

Upchuck says something to Brittany, and she smacks him and walks off, ala "The
Misery Chick."

The three J's are talking to Quinn. Jamie says something stupid, and the
other's smack him.

Kevin is talking to Mack, still in full football gear, and Mack smacks him
upside the head. Kevin puts his hand to his head and follows him off screen.

End helicopter effect.

Two guys dressed in black slacks, crisp white shirts, carrying backpacks, and
on bikes ride up to Jodie.

Guy 1: Hello, miss. May we have a word?

Jodie: Um, I'm sorry, but I'm kind of busy. (beat) Anyway, I'm christian.

Guy 2: Let's not bother with her.

They ride up to Daria.

Guy 1: Hello, miss. May we have a word?

Daria: Go to hell, Mormons.

Guy 2: That's where you're going, if you keep on like that.

Daria: Look around. We're IN hell.

Guy 1: I must say I agree.

He rides off. Guy 2 is flabbergasted.

Guy2: uh, um, er, ugh, ulp...

Cut off screen, as we hear a slapping sound, a high man-scream, and a bunch of
crows flap away. Daria looks up, with a sardonic expression.

Roll Credits:

Show Daria in: Dress w. corn (exsisting alter ego), more colonial garb, with
hand in belt buckle, dressed as a redneck bimbo,

Show Trent in: Cowboy gear (existing alter ego), in gear from almost end of
Nemo Blank's "New Eyes.", in a big bucket full o' water, wearing long
underwear,

Show Jane in: Calamity Jane outfit, Annie oakley outfit, colonial garb,

Show Jodie and Mack as mormons on bikes.

Show guy 1 & guy 2 as Jodie and Daria.


THE CATASTRAUPHIC END, AT LAST!!!!!