Misery Chick: Wrestling with Fashion
By Chris Smith
(c)1999

Daria and other characters are trademarks of MTV Networks.
All other characters are courtesy of the Lawndale High Wrestling Federation
and #Daria+.

This story is strongly based on the still-hot documentry "Hitman Hart:
Wrestling with Shadows", available on home video in PG-13 and R-rated
versions.

Ed. Note: An asterisk * next to a name means they're narrating. A pound sign #
next to a name means they're talking to the guy next to the cameraman)

Prologue:

(Daria, seen in her usual garments is walking to the ring, and a montage of
bodyslams, submission holds and high risk maneuvers follows with daria ending
up on top of her opponents)

Daria*: It's hard to find a hero, anywhere.

	(Slow-mo of Daria being choked against the ropes by a big guy in black)

Daria*: At fiirst, I was just joking around with the idea of wrestling.
(Pause) A bunch of steroid-clod guys in tights beating the crap out of each
other.

(Slow-mo of Daria kicking  Upchuck in the gut)

Daria*: After awhile, I began to respect professional wrestling and what these
people do every night.

(Slow-mo of Quinn delivering an enziguri to Daria's head)

Daria*: I was proud of that Misery Chick character.

(Slow-mo of Quinn picking Daria up by the head and tossing her out of the
ring)

Daria*: She never gave up, never sold out, never stopped fighting for what's
right, and spoke up when something needed to be said.

	(Daria is shown walking into an elementry school auditorium, kids are
cheering and chanting "Misery Chick! Misery Chick!")

Daria*: It's great to be a hero all over the country. I think about schools
like Oakwood where hundreds of kids have been waiting for hours, just to see
me. It was like God was coming to their school. They .... really loved me.
(Pause) This is real. It's something that you can never buy. You can't fake
this kind of attention.

(Daria is seen walking with luggage up to a hotel room)

Daria*: Tomorrow's the big showdown in Lawndale. It's probably the biggest
fight in my whole life. It's a great story I've been living for the past five
years, about to come to an end. (Pause) I spoke to Chris. He said "You have to
lose to Sandi in Lawndale."

Daria#: I can't do it. I described to him  "I may as well just blow my brains
out. What you're asking me to do, it's pretty much the exact same thing, from
a character standpoint. I would just be taking the Misery Chick and pretty
much her pointing a gun between her eyes and shooting her at point-blank."
People talk about how fake wrestling is. It's far more real than most people
think.

	(Cut-to: a segment of a recent on-air interview)

Chris: I have no sympathy whatsoever for Daria Morgan. I have no sympathy for
someone , not doing the right thing for the business that made her. Not doing
the right thing for the fans, the performers and the promoters that made her.
She made a rather selfish decision, and she'll have to live with that for the
rest of her life. Daria screwed Daria, I have no sympathy for Daria.


ONE YEAR EARLIER

	(Cut to: A baseball stadium, the site of an autograph signing for several
LHWF superstars.)

MJP (pumping up the crowd): Do you want to see her?! (Crowd cheers) I said,
(Emphasizes) do you want to see her?! (Crowd roars) The legendary leader of
the Lawndale Posse. Lawndale, give it up for your own, Daria "The Misery
Chick" Morgan!!!

	(Daria walks out into the field, and the crowd goes nuts. Cut to: a table
where kids and adults alike are waiting in line for autographs from Daria.)

Teen-girl: Me and my friends, we're all going to hold up this big sign that
says "We love you, Misery Chick!".

Daria (Smiling): Thanks.

	(Daria is walking with a little boy, carrying bags into a stadium. One of
the ring crew is in the ring testing the mic.)

Daria*: I've been a professional wrestler for the past five years. I've mainly
been working for Chris Smith and his Lawndale High Wrestling Federation. It's
gotten really big. So big that it's gone national, more than half a million
people tune in every Wednesday Night.

	(Daria hoists up the little kid onto her shoulder)

Kid: Shall we? (The two walk off)

Daria#: I always have this dream, and  I can't stop it once it starts. I get
this dream where it's like they're playing your music for the second time, you
know? The last match of the night, and I'm always stark-naked. And my brain's
always telling me "You dumbass, get ready. Get ready!", and I never listen.
It's like ..... (Looks down, then back to the camera) .. you know. (Smirks)

	(The kid is in the locker room with Daria while she's lacing up her boots
after putting on some kneepads.)

Daria#: That's David. (Pauses while smiling at him) Mom and Dad wanted to have
another kid, and this is what I end up with. They felt that it's best that he
get to see the country and get along with his big sisters. He looks a lot like
Mom and acts like me and Quinn put together. That's .... that's a deadly
combination. "Hell on Wheels". He's ... got the personality of a rattlesnake
(Laughs).

	(Daria is chatting with one of the ring crew while everyone else is setting
up.)

Guy: You never thought of having children yourself?

Daria: I have thought of it. I just don't have the time right now to pursue a
relationship, get married, and have a kid. I'm only 20. I just turned 20 a few
days ago.

Guy: Really? You don't look as old as 20.

Daria: Yeah, well, I'll feel a lot older than that after tonight.

	(The camera shows a few of Daria's best friends)

Daria*: These days, I'm usually with the Lawndale Posse.

	(A skinny girl with a mushroom bob haircut is doing tai-chi in the hallway,
warming up)

Daria*: That's my best friend Jane. She's probably the most technical
high-flyer in the world.

	(A tall skinny guy is sleeping on a couch in the dressing room)

Daria*: And there's Trent, sleeping, as always. But don't be fooled, he can be
quite a hellraiser when he wants to be.

	(A redhead is stretching her legs on one of the many tables in the hallways)

Daria*: And that's my little sister Quinn. She's been well-known for her looks
and her martial-arts. And like sisters the world-over, we have our fights.
Lately, she's been mellowing out, and getting along. That's always a good
sign.

	(Michael Pfeffer is at a corner with a cameraman)

MJP: ...and now I want to bring in none other than Daria Morgan and the
Lawndale Posse! (The four come in, along with Jesse, and wave to the camera
like little kids.)

Daria: All that I've got to say is that we've got the baddest bunch of people
in the LHWF, right here! And it's take-no-prisoners when it comes to Posse
business.

Jesse: (making a gun with his hand and shooting the camera) Bang.

Jane: To sum it up tonight, we're gonna get HUNGRY, and we're going to forget
our manners! (Laughs maniacally)

	(Pfeffer is now interviewing an opposing team for a match tonight)

Daria*: Wrestling has and will always be filled with some of the most bizarre
characters.

	(Upchuck is entering the ring in a robe)

Daria*: Upchuck pushes the indecent exposure and perverted button. And pushes
it really hard.

	(Upchuck takes off the robe showing a black pair of underwear, and a
strap-on dildo. Upchuck is making several sexual gestures to the dildo while
in the ring)

Daria*: Women and men alike took great offense to him.

	(Upchuck is with a few buddies backstage, mocking his own character.)

Upchuck: My name's Tony Canoli, and I just got in town with my twenty stripper
girlfriends. God damn, the moves, the curves, and man, the curves go very very
VERY far, I'll tell you what. Hell, I've been bashed across the head several
times by a few of them on the Springer show as well, because, well, some can
get pretty jealous. R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r, feisty!

Daria*: He's nothing like the character he plays. He's a mellow guy. A nerd,
if that's what you want to call him. He likes reading books, playing computer
games, and simple chess with buddies.

	(Upchuck grabs his crotch at the camera and makes a kissy-face)

	(Cut to: A group of fans)

Teen: People say that wrestling's a sport, it's not a sport, it's "Sports
entertainment"

	(Cut to: A young adult fan)

Adult: It's fun. There's not a whole lot of things in real life that are fun
anymore. You have your favorites, you cheer them. You have the people you
don't like, you boo them. And you don't have to worry about someone punching
you in the face for booing them, because that's their job.

	(Sandi is walking to the ring, and the crowd is going wild.)

Daria*: Sandi Griffin's a great athlete. An incredible performer in the ring.
But, there's things about her that really get on my nerves. She's got this
prima-donna personality, 'think's she better than everyone else. There's
something really arrogant and obnoxious about her that I find very unlikable.

	(Shot of Chris Smith in the ring, opening up a Pay-Per-View)

Daria*: The stage we perform on was created by Chris Smith. He's the driving
force and "creative genius" behind the Lawndale High Wrestling Federation.

	(Shot of Daria about to walk to the ring. A kid yells Daria's name and she
walks up)

Kid: Go get 'em, champ.

	(Daria takes off her silver sunglasses and puts them on the little kid)

Daria*: And me, I'm Daria Morgan, "The Misery Chick". Your children are safe
to watch me on Saturday mornings. I send them a pretty wholesome message. The
Misery Chick stands for sticking up for yourself, say what's on your mind, and
to never quit. The one thing I won't do is lie to my fans.

	(Daria is seen in the ring with the Lawndale Posse, Helen, Jake, even Kain &
Sally)

Daria*: In my whole career, I've only worked with two people. Chris  Smith,
and my trainer, Kain. In all the years I've been looking for a calling in my
life, I can't seem to thank him enough for the opportunities he's given me. I
really look up to him.

	(Cut to: Kain's birthday party.)

Daria*: No one can really remember how old he is, so we just put five candles
on the cake and hoped for the best.

	(Kain blows out the candles and everybody cheers)

Daria: As long as I can remember, I've always tried to be like ... you. I've
always thought "What would Kain do in this situation?"

Kain: Probably pee my pants and stuble into the ladies room. (Everyone laughs,
and Sally buries her head in Kain's shoulder, unable to keep a straight face)

Daria*: He told me dozens of stories about his early years, and how tough it
was back in the day. (Pause) Back in 1933, in a dispute over some land outside
of New York City, Kain ended up in jail. It was there that Kain discovered
wrestling. He fell into a club of shooters, real submission wrestlers. They
had a good time stretching Kain, and grinding him up. The idea of the game is
that they would give you so much punishment that you'd just give up and not
come back.

Kain#: They'd put your head in between your knees and pull your neck, knees up
over your head. Your head would be totally blue by the time you got out of
there. They'd crank you up about as tight as it could go, actually separating
life from your body. Every day, I was stretched around pretty good. It was
kinda funny, pretending to get hurt while they were just aching to hear me
scream for my life.

Daria*: Kain never gave up. It wasn't long before he was the one giving out
all the punishment. To dish out that kind of pain and see that kind of pain,
that's what made a man or a woman out of you. I've got a lot of that in me,
too. You survive by getting hit, hitting back, letting out all of your
aggressions. I think you grow up with it. It helped me prepare for
professional wrestling, where you have to be able to take a lot of abuse.

	(Daria is shown applying a painful hold on Tiffany in the center of the
ring.)

Daria*: About a year in, Kain helped me come up with a finishing hold. The
True Misery. It takes a lot of skill to make it all look real..

Daria#: My philosophy on wrestling is that the real art of wrestling is when
doing full-contact, you should never get hurt. If you get hurt, it's because
someone screwed up. And you shouldn't hurt anyone else, I've been doing
wrestling for five years, I have never really hurt anyone. I've done
full-contact before, very physical, but when you come back to the dressing
room after, you should just be able to put on your boots and go home, like
you've had a really long day, like, no more than a football player. But to
intentionally hurt yourself or hurt anyone else ..... there's no art in that.

	(Daria is in the ring, punching Kain several times in the head.)

Daria*: Watch my punches. People go "She connected on all of those". I've even
kicked people full-blast in the face, but did you ever wonder why there's no
big bruise after? There IS an art in wrestling.

	(Cut to: A panoramic view of the infamous Kain household.)

Daria*: I never thought of becoming a wrestler. Before, I just wanted to go to
film school. Possibly to start my own production company. "Misery Chick
Pictures". That's ... how I came up with my nickname. Actually that's not
true. Some football star came to school and berated me, ultimately giving me
the nickname. I figured shooting films would be the best way to make a living,
while having fun at the same time. I already have best friends for actors,
friends that could play a wide variety of parts. But then I realized that was
never going to happen. Not to me, anyway.

	(Daria's walking around the inside of the Kain household)

Daria: I ended up going to my best friend, Kain, to help train me to be a
wrestler, because I've seen him wrestle in the school on numerous occasions. I
already knew that wrestling was like a play. I just didn't know how to take
serious bumps.

Sally#: Kain can be a fun teacher at times, but sometimes, he can forget how
much pain someone can take. I hear Kain giving lessons to people all the time
since there's a few holes running through the house to make room for a few
pipes here and there.

Tommy Marek#: I remember one time where this one guy was screaming so much, it
was .... Pathetic. I put a tape recorder in the room before he showed up and
the guy was just screaming to be let go. (Plays the screaming sound which
really DOES sound pathetic.) Later, I learned it was Lawndale High teacher
Anthony Demartino. (Chuckles)

Daria*: Kain's been running a small-time wrestling promotion in the Lawndale
High School gymnasium for almost a year, until he sold his territory to Chris
Smith, a disiple of his. Kain decided to stay behind the scenes and help Chris
get the feel of the business. From the very beginning, I've had to claw my way
up to the top, I don't think my success was ever handed to me.

Daria#: I found myself fighting really hard just to survive, and to actually
come out of the wrestling profession as a success rather than a wrestling
tragedy, which is how so many of them turn out. I've been working with Chris
Smith behind the wheel of the LHWF for the last three years, I always figured
I'd end my career there. Until Kain made me an incredible offer to jump sides
and to work for his new promotion, "Lawndale Championship Wrestling". A lot of
money. It's probably the most biggest decision of my entire life. Eighteen
million dollars, in three years. It's like wrestling, it's nothing I've ever
imagined. Chris came up and offered a lot less money, but he offered me a
ten-year contract. It's been really hard to put my loyalty and everything out
in front and the right thing to do, because money's not always important. Yet,
at the same time, I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance, you, know?
Everyone's vying for my attention, and yet at the same time, there's like this
major war between these two companies. These two huge ...... giants in the
world are fighting over ... me. (Snickers) Quinn would be so jealous right
now. Chris Smith used to be the king of the wrestling community, until Kain
took off and started another nationwide promotion. My contract is up, and I'm
free to go where I want to go. I could just take the money, it's a simple
enough decision. I've always wanted to have some money and to finally go home
with my friends and family and be ... secure.

	(Daria is shown holding up a world championship belt, a winner, and is
leaving the ring, high-fiving several fans behind the barricade, eventually
leaving to the locker room.)

Daria*: Chris Smith made me. He gave me the stage to work on, and the
opportunity to show everyone that I was the best. The fact that he gave me the
chance, and made my dream come true is something that weighs heavy and affects
whatever descisions I have to make.

Daria#: Should I stay or should I go? For me, eighteen million dollars is a
lot of money.

	(Daria is in the ring with a mic.)

Daria: When you get offered a great offer, you have to decide which one you're
going to take. Nobody knows how much soul-searching I've done over this. But
when it comes right down to it, for everything I've done, and ever plan on
doing, I owe it all to my LHWF fans. I'll be with the LHWF forever.

	(Daria is hanging out with her family at home, David's sitting on her lap
while they all watch "Daria" on MTV.)

Daria*: You have to show some common sense sometimes. I mean, you have to do
what's right for your family, but how much money do you really need? I found
myself torn between what's right for my family, and showing my loyalties.

	(Daria is shown doing her laundry)

Daria: The LCW is breathing down Chris's neck. Overtaking him in the ratings.
It's easy to jump sides, you know, just say "Thanks  for everything", and take
off. Loyalty's very important.

	(Daria is walking into Lawndale High School, the home of the Lawndale High
Wrestling Federation)

Daria*: So now I was back in the LHWF. It wasn't very long before we came back
home to do a show. In front of my family AND Chris. This is going to one hell
of a night. (Daria, David and the Posse are talking with Chris) Chris has
creative control over the direction that the wrestler's characters will go.

Daria: Hey David? David, Chris and I have to talk alone. Go and ... go and
bother Ms Barch.

Daria*: Once the story is set, it's up to me to work it all out. I figured
that since my family was going to be at the event, we might as well try and
involve them in the storyline. Once I've worked out a general plan with Chris,
I search out Rich Verde and figure out how the match will go.

	(Daria, Rich, and Amy are discussing the match for tonight)

Rich: ...and Jane can be, like, trying to get on, and when it's all over with,
she can jump in the ring, and everyone else can jump in the ring. But THESE
TWO should be in the ring the entire time.

Daria*: He's one of those guys that can visualize what can happen in a
wrestling match. I see it all happen before it ever happens, in my head, kinda
like the way a movie director does.

Daria: ...you need to hit her from behind with a big drink. And when you hit
her with the drink....

Amy: On the other side of the rail?

Daria: Yeah, you're going to be on the other side of the rail. Now, you want
to give the impression so that Brittany's going to think that Helen threw the
drink at her.......

	(Cut to: The event, later that night. The pyrotechnics go off, lights are
flashing everywhere, and the crowd is going nuts)

MJP: HeeeeeellllllllllloooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAWNDAAAAAAALLLLLLLE!!!!!!!

	(Later in the show, the big match comes. The Lawndale Posse is already
introduced, but they wait outside the walkway. Finally, The Misery Chick
entrance theme blasts through the speakers, and the crowd goes wild. Daria
emerges and high-fives her friends/teammates and they finally hit the ring.)

	(Voiceover between Daria and Rich)

Rich: You could all jump in the ring and get into it right away

Daria: Everyone just goes to their corners.

Rich: Yeah, and when the smoke clears, it's just you and Brittany.

	(Daria and Brittany are slugging it out between each other)

Daria: We could settle it down after a few minutes.

Rich: Yeah, you gotta settle it down if you're going to go for thirty minutes.

	(Some time later in the match, Brittany is tossed outside the ring, where
Amy gets up from her seat and throws a large Coke(c) at her. Brittany turns
around and grabs Helen by the collar.)

Daria: ...and Brittany's going to think that Helen threw the drink at her.

Rich: While Brittany's grabbing Helen, Amy could just kick her behind the
knee. And you could shove her into the apron. Brittany gets back in the ring,
Helen's yelling at you two, causing Brittany to get distracted. Jane could
roll her up for the win.

	(While they're talking, this is actualy done in the match. Jane rolls
Brittany up for the three count and gets the win.)

Rich: That's the story.

Daria*: But behind the curtain, it's anything BUT fake, what it takes to
become a professional wrestler. We push ourselves to the limit, and even the
best wrestlers have accidents.

Daria#: Most of the time, I never worried about getting hurt, I just worried
about screwing up. Now I'm more worried about getting hurt than screwing up.

Daria*: When I was faced with the decision to stay in the LHWF or be lured
into the LCW, I had this loyalty to Chris Smith, but I think there was
something more important than that.

	(Clip of Daria walking to the ring for a one-on-one with Brittany)

Daria*: What would happen to the Misery Chick character? What would the LCW do
with that character? I had to reflect back and go "I know one thing, in the
LHWF, I'l always be able to go out .... The hero." The key to being a great
hero is being able to work with a great bad guy. A lot of thought goes into
creating an evil character.

	(Andrea walks to the ring, looking really really dead)

Daria*: Zombie's one of my favorites. She's like the Hannibal Lecter of
wrestling.

Andrea#: I just try to use a side of my personality that didn't involve
anything nice. Little comments start coming out, and instead of saying "I'm
really scared of that girl.", people go "I really get a kick out of that
girl." And man, she's suffering for our sake.

	(Thomas Maher walks to the ring)

Daria*: Tommy Maher's character is one that's supposed to hit a raw nerve.
He's like a snob. He's a character that fans are never going to love. They're
always going to hate him.

Thomas#: Their boos become my cheers, you know? When I've got my guy down, the
one they want to see beat my ass, and I've got him beat up, I stand over him,
look out to the people and do that pose, I get booed out of the building.
THAT'S the reaction I want. They boo me, and I go "Yeah!", 'cause I got 'em.
(Smiles)

	(Brittany walks to the ring, and the crowd is going nuts)

Daria*: Something strange is going on. The guys the fans are supposed to hate
are becoming the heroes. Take Brittany Taylor, for example, the most evil
bitch in the federation. The fans started turning against me and really got
off on her, like she's so sexy and bad, she's cool.

	(Brittany is standing on the turnbuckle, getting a positive reaction from
the crowd)

Daria*: In the end, the fans decide everything. If they cheer you, you're a
good guy. If they boo ya, you're a heel. Smith saw the way the crowd was
reacting to her, and is positioning her to be a fan-favorite. I don't think
there ARE any good guys, anymore. People seem to be sick of good guys. Smith
talked to me about changing my character. He wants me to turn heel, to become
a bad guy. At first, I was lukewarm to the idea, I've always taken so much
pride in being the hero. Finally, he sold me on the idea. I guess you can only
save the trapped child from the burning building so many times before people
start to get bored of it.

	(Daria is in the ring, turning Brittany over for the True Misery, making her
submit)

Daria*: The plans for me and Brittany basically change places in one match.
Like a classic good guy, Brittany will never give up.

	(Brittany's face is covered in blood, and she's smearing her face into the
ring, while Daria has her in the submission hold, finally, she passes out
from the pain, causing the referee to stop the match.)

Daria*: And like a real villain, I'm gonna kick her while she's down.

	(Daria kicks Brittany in the leg {The area of the submission hold a few
  minutes ago} several times.)

Daria*: And just like that, I'm a bad guy. I can't think about being a good
guy anymore. I have to find the vain reality of it, and I have. My feelings
towards the fans, you don't have any heroes anymore, you don't know the
difference between good and bad, right and wrong. If you cheer a girl like
Brittany Taylor, then I can't accept you anymore.

	(Brittany piledrives a referee into the mat and executes the Liontamer, an
elevated Boston Crab. The fans are all holding up signs saying "Brittany
3:16 says I just whipped your ass!", people are flashing their Brittany 3:16
shirts and some male fans written "Brittany 3:16" on their chests)

Daria*: And the truth is, I DON'T see the fans' side of it.I can take that
thread of reality and just sew it into my storyline, and make it work for me.
I don't have a problem being a heel, just as long as I don't sell out to my
true fans. I don't want to become this slimy bad guy just to appease Chris
Smith or to sell tickets.

	(Brittany is beating Daria while she's down, and crushing her knee with a
folding chair)

Daria#: Here I am in the middle of the ring, pleading for my life with this
horrible bad guy who is being cheered by everybody, and she's smashing my knee
to pieces with a chair, and the fans loved every minute of it. When you put
yourself in my shoes, you think "What a bunch of cold-blooded assholes, and to
allow this guy to do this to me and my career." And to me, that's the
underline in the premise or theme though my character's right.

	(Shot of Daria being loaded into an ambulance by medical personel and the
Lawndale Posse. Suddenly, Brittany is revealed to be the driver.)

Brittany: I told ya you were going straight to Hell you brain!

	(Brittany then proceeds to pound Daria in her weakened state, everyone is
trying in vain to break her away from Daria.)

Daria#: Brittany got rid of the driver, and proceeded to beat me up in the
ambulance. It was one of the best shows they ever did. The next night, I gave
this monologue, explaining my grievances with the wrestling fans who've turned
their backs on me.

	(Daria is in the ring with a mic)

Daria: Nobody glorifies criminal conduct and brainlessness like the
pop-culture assholes do. In all of the book clubs, goth clubs, chatrooms,
coffeehouses, even the other COUNTRIES that I go to, they still respect what's
right and what's wrong. You people don't respect me. Well the fact of the
matter is, I don't respect you either. So from here on in, coast-to-coast, you
can't stand people with a brain? Then you can just get down on your knees,
pucker up, and KISS MY ASS!!!

	(Huge chorus of boos floods the arena)

Daria*: It's a road that no one's ever traveled on. Try to be a hero in
certain places, while at the same time, making the pop-culture fans look like
idiots. I think the logic here is to make the teeny-bopper fans get to be the
bad guys.

	(Cut to: A few months later, Daria is doing an on-location shoot in a book
club back home in Lawndale.)

Daria: I want to thank everyone for their support through this whole ordeal. I
want to thank everyone for believing in me. A week ago, I was told that if I
don't like what the people consider popular, then I don't love what America
stands far. They say "Go back under whatever rock you crawled out from". If
libraries and Universities are considered as rocks, then I would be more than
happy to crawl back under them. (Light applause, it IS a library-based book
club after all.) Over here in Lawndale, we still take care of the sick and the
old, where we have reasonable health-care. (Applause) We have plausably-strict
gun control here, we don't shoot each other on every street-corner. (Heavier
applause) Racial-hatred is non-existant here, we all love one another. I take
one look at you people, and I take one look at the pop-culture jackasses that
think they're number one in the world, and I can openly say to the world "I am
PROUD to be a Brain.". (Loud Applause)

Librarian: Hey! Keep it down!

	(Daria is in the ring, another night, with the Lawndale Posse)

Daria: One thing I've learned is that the pop-culture pansies will do anything
they can to screw you.

	(Cut to: The long row of fans waiting to get in the Civic Center in
Middleton, lots of the Pop-Culture fans are screaming obscenties directed at
The Misery Chick.)

Fans: Burn in Hell, brain! Burn .. in ... Hell!!

	(Cut to: A fan)

Cameraman: Why do intellectuals suck?

Fan#: Because they said we suck! They started this war!

Fans: (Crowding around the camera) Go back to Hell you brain!!

	(Cut to: Another fan)

Cameraman: You, you're wearing a Brittany Spears shirt?

Fan: Yeah

Cameraman: Yet you're wearing a trenchcoat, white makeup and a cross?

Fan: Yup.

Cameraman: Why?

Fan#: Because this whole thing has gone too far. These people are just too
..... (Struggling to find a proper word) religious when it comes to what's
popular and what's "in" these days. People looked at me, and I got called an
asshole, I've been called a moron, I've even been called a brain, and these
people don't even know me. I haven't been going up to them and telling them
that they suck just for what they like, I don't know them. I haven't been
telling them that Brittany Spears is B.S.. It's .... It's just gotten too
stupid. Daria Morgan's been going everywhere in this country and wrestling for
these fans, given them years and years of service, won titles, pretty much
done it all. And just because she's showing a hint of intelligence and dignity
under that skull of hers, they just ... turned against her. She never turned
against them. That's how it's always been.

	(Cut to: Another fan)

Fan#: How can these people say that they're decent when we've got people like
Brittany Taylor and Sandi Griffin, beating people up for no reason, and
getting in Playboy magazine with the big-ass boob-jobs and the knee-high
boots, and not even realize that more women read that magazine than men?

	(Cut to: Another fan)

Fan#: Daria? I think that's one grape that needs to be squashed. And tonight,
Demontino is going to bury her spoiled rich-cunt six-feet under. (People hoot
and hollar, obviously they're friends)

	(Cut to: Another fan)

Fan#: Six months ago, these people would have been cheering her on. I don't
think they would have been saying stuff like this, it's really disgusting. I
like Daria Morgan because she's got family values. She's loyal, she genuinely
likes her fans. Even though she hates the pop-culture fans, there's a few of
them that actually believe in the same things she does. She really inspired me
to do a lot of things with my life. She taught me that I have a gift, to take
it to my fullest extent. So now I'm going to a school for computer animation,
and I owe it all to Daria. Four years ago, I wouldn't be going to school, and
now I'm going to graduate. I just didn't believe in anything, and when I
started liking Daria, everything changed.

	(Cut to: A quiet two-lane road in a neighborhood. Daria is driving a rented
car.)

Daria: Every once in a while, I come across a kid who's depressed about the
whole thing and asks me to be a hero again, they try to understand it, and I
don't really have any answers for them.

	(Cut to: A recent taping of LHWF Manic Monday. Sandi is in the ring being
interviewed.)

Sandi: ......Demontino and the Misery Chick for the LHWF championship. And I
will be the special referee!

	(Cut to: The ring, hours away from another Pay-Per-View, Daria is discussing
the plan for tonight's match.)

Daria: I'm still worried about this thing tonight with Sandi. I'm not going to
lose all of my heat to her, am I?

Rich: Do you have any idea on what kind of finish you're going to do?

Daria: All I know is that Sandi's going to cost Demon the match. Is Sandi
going to walk in as a heel?

Rich: That's from what I understand.

Daria: It's like she's going to scoop all of my heat.

	(Cut to: The broadcast table, just minutes before the main event. At the
table is Chris Smith, Jay Tea, and Dr. Belch)

Chris: What's going to happen in the next matchup? Sandi cares about her own
career, but also cares in a negative way towards Daria Morgan. What sort of
emotion is Sandi feeling as the guest referee?

Dr Belch: Are you kidding me? Sandi Griffin's ego is so big, it's got its own
zipcode. All Sandi care about is what her hair looks like tonight. And
speaking of Demontino, Sandi's so full of herself that when she goes to a
funeral, she gets upset because she's not the corpse. She wants to be the
center of attention, and somehow, someway, Sandi will manage to become the
center of attention.

	(Daria walks to the ring, usual chorus of boos. After she gets in the ring,
the lights go out, and Demontino rises up from a trapdoor in the aisle,
surrounded by flames, giving the illusion that he came straight from Hell.
Usual cheers for Demontino as he enters the ring.)

	(As the match starts, Demontino grabs Daria by the neck and thrusts her into
the corner and pounds her with lefts and rights. Later in the match, Daria
superplexes Demontino from the top turnbuckle, and makes a loud impact as the
two hit the mat. Fans are standing, watching in awe. Daria grabs a steel chair
from the outside, brings it back in and hits Demontino over the head, sending
him into the corner. Daria prepares to hit him again when Sandi grabs the
chair. Daria is shouting obsenities ti her face while Demontino is getting up.
Sandi prepares to hit Daria with the chair, but she ducks, and Sandi ends up
hitting Demontino by mistake. Daria covers Demontino for the pin, and Sandi
hesitates to count to three. But Demontino is out cold, so Daria wins the
match. Sandi just walks out in frustration, while Daria hoilds up her new LHWF
World Heavyweight title belt.)

	(Later, after the event, Daria is changing her clothes in the locker room,
while David is admiring the 24-karat 20-lb. leather belt that his big sister
won earlier in the night.)

	(Musical montage of Daria working out in a weight room, keeping in shape)

Jane (To the camera): I think she's got another five years left in her.

Daria (To the camera and Jane): Five more years of wrestling? It's like being
the only one in a prison that's a lifer. You know? I've got the sweetest cell,
I've got the run of the place, and I've got the Warden in my back-pocket. That
sort of thing, but I can't wait to get out. Then, it'll be the real test.
Kinda like the Shawshank Redemtion. Once I get out, 'see if I can stay out.

	(Daria is home with Jake and Helen, they're discussing the season tickets)

Daria*: I've been gone a lot, which is very unfair to my family, because
they've been left with most of  the dirty work. I can't say I've been the
perfect daughter for the past five years. I don't know how Mom ever put up
with it, me being gone all the time. It's been five years of saying that I'll
be home tomorrow.

Cameraman: Are you looking forward to the day when Daria hangs up her boots?

Helen: (Somewhat camera shy) I've been waiting for the past five years. I'm
sure she'll still be involved somehow.

Cameraman: You've had enough?

Helen: (Thinking carefully about her answer) Yeah. I think it's time to be
normal.


CHRIS IS LOSING THE RATINGS AGAINST KAIN'S LCW.

HE DECIDES TO TAKE THE LHWF IN A WHOLE NEW DIRECTION

	(Montage of clips from the recent rise of the Fashion Club, consisting of
Sandi, Thomas Maher, Tiffany, and Stacy, committing a lot of disgraceful lewd
sexual acts. Finally, The Fashion Club interupts Daria's in-ring interview
from the LawndaleTron {A giant TV Projection Screen}.)

Sandi: Now before you put the entire crowd in a sleeperhold and put everyone
to sleep, I want you to look at this clip, just to show that no one knows
Lawndale like I nose Lawndale.

	(They show a clip of Sandi during one of Daria's recent matches where Sandi
takes the Lawndale Lions school banner and picks her nose with it.)

Thomas-Maher: Trent, I just have to say that I am stronger than you....

Sandi: Ev'rybody's stronger than him.

Thomas: ...I'm quicker than you......

Sandi: Ev'rybody's quicker than him.

Thomas: ...and I'm certainly BIGGER than you, in more ways than one.

Sandi: (Glancing downward) DEAR GOD!! You could poke an eye out with that
thing!

Daria*: I can't imagine what they're thinking. I can't imagine Chris and the
writers, sitting around a table, saying "Well, why don't we try this
tonight?". Sandi, pulling down her pants, showing the crack of her ass and
jumping around. I wish I could there in the room to tell them "Are you guys
nuts?". It's become Smut-TV.

TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE SHOWDOWN IN LAWNDALE

CHRIS DROPS A BOMBSHELL

HE TELLS DARIA HE WANTS OUT OF THEIR TEN-YEAR CONTRACT

	(Daria comes home, and sees only Helen. Jake is obviously out on business.)

Daria: He says he can't afford me anymore. "Financial peril", he called it. He
said that I'd be doing him a favor if I go back to Kain and see if I can get
back on our old deal.

Helen: I don't believe that. Less than a year ago, he came to our houe to ask
you to stay with him.

Chris*: I think I was sorry I signed the deal. Daria had leveraged herself
against Kain's operation, and bid herself up so much, and at the time,
everyone was saying "Oh, you can't let Daria go.". I listened to them, and
given the circumstances, I'm sorry I did.

	(Daria was just hanging up the phone)

Daria: I just talked to Chris.

Helen: What'd he say?

Daria: No one wants Daria Morgan more than Chris Smith.

Helen: Then why is he letting you go?

Daria: He can't afford to compete with Kain. Kain's hell-bent on putting him
out of business. Maybe I can call Sally and .... (Looks at the camera) Can we
cut this off for a little while?

Cameraman: Sure.

	(Slow-mo of Daria getting pissed in the ring, eventually decking Chris
Smith, causing a deafening chorus of boos from the crowd)

Daria*: The LCW called me, I thought the deal had falled through. They asked
me "What is it going to take to bring you here?" And I answered "That's pretty
much it.", and I hung up with that pit in my stomach, because now I have every
reason to leave. Still giving Chris Smith the benefit of the doubt, the
history and the legacy of my past, I thought about it all night, and I called
him up the following morning. I sflat-out said to him "Talk me into staying, I
don't want to talk money. I'll stay with the deal that we have. I just want
you to make some kind of commitment to me." Finally, he laid it out to me
"What do YOU want to do? You make the call." "I don't any ideas, what would
YOU do with Daria Morgan?" And then I realized what a horrible predictiment
I'm in. "I was the number-one good guy in the world, and I gave that up to
become the number-one bad guy in the world, and now you've given that job up
to Sandi Griffin. How could I become a good guy again? I can't be a good guy
and I can't be a bad guy, I'm stuck in Purgatory. You've actually sabatoged my
career."

	(Daria is in her old bedroom next to a fax machine)

Daria: I finally ended my career with the LHWF. I can't help but feel
heartbroken and disappointed that I left this company. I punched in the
numbers, and really had to wait and hesitate before pressing the send button,
and then I watched as my career ended in about twenty seconds. Just
"chu-chu-chu-chu" (Fax noises).

	(Daria is walking with David to a house show in Jonston.)

Daria*: Four more weeks, and I'm out of the LHWF. We've all agreed to keep my
leaving a secret, but I won't shut up about where wrestling's headed.

TV Announcer: And now, "Off the Record" with Michelle Klein-Hass!

Michelle: A week before the "LHWF Armageddon" in Lawndale, fans are already
buzzing about Daria Morgan and Sandi Griffin for the LHWF World Championship.
But the real fight is between Daria and the king of the LHWF, Chris Smith.
Daria says it's a raunchier, sleazier LHWF, not fit for kids. Daria fired the
first shots, challenging the creative direction that Smith is taking
wrestling.

	(Daria is on the couch on the "Off the Record" set, talking to Michelle in a
taped interview.)

Daria: It's gotten a lot more raunchier, a lot more sexual, the show is VERY
sexual, in a bad way. I don't think you watch wrestling for sex. It's become
something that you don't want to present to your children. My family won't
watch the show anymore, not even the teenagers. It's just something I don't
want to be associated with.

	(Back to the present)

Michelle: Chris Smith disagrees, and here's his answer.

Chris#: We here at the LHWF feel that you, the fans are tired of having their
intelligence insulted. We also believe you're tired of the simplistic theory
of "Good guys versus bad guys". Surely, the era of the superhero urge for you
to say your prayers and take your vitamins is definitely passe.

Michelle: He says that there's no good or bad anymore, no black or white. Just
shades of gray, according to Chris. Is there no right or wrong anymore?

Martin Pollard: In a way, it's a small piece of hand-trickery he's doing here.
You can have complex stories that won't offend kids. You can have moral
relativism without racist or sexist slurs.

Orcaa: It's a way to justify anything being ok, without anything being
convienent at the time. They want to do racism, they want to do rape, since
there's no good and evil, anything is allowable.

John Berry: This is not a unique offensive by Chris Smith. I mean, we market
Freddy Kruger costumes for nine-year-olds. And quite frankly, throwing out the
rules has made a much more exciting LHWF entertainment. I mean, I'd be
morally, and politically upset by what's going on. But as a fan, I'm not being
treated as a baby in the way that I was when Chris would have two wrestlers in
a diaper match.

Orcaa: Instead of a diaper match, we're doing a stripper match.

Michelle: Isn't that the point that Daria Morgan's been making, that it's just
not appropriate for kids.........?

	(Cut to: Another match, The Lawndale Posse against the Fashion Club and
Zombie. Daria and company are walking to the ring.)

Daria*: I went public about my feelings towards the LHWF's creative direction,
and Chris leaked out that I was leaving for the money, that I sold out.

	(During the match, Daria looks at some of the signs people were holding up.
"Why wait? Leave now, Daria!", "Daria "The Has-Been" Morgan", "Why, Daria,
why?", the list goes on and on. Fans are giving her the finger and shouting
"YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!" After the match, Daria and company are trying to
leave the arena.)

Daria*: This would be my last show before the match in Lawndale. Things were
starting to get really hot, and I was getting as emotional as they were.

	(The Lawndale Posse is travelling in a limo with Helen and Amy.)

TV: Tonight on Sick Sad World, an archeologist conducts his search in a
graveyard!

Archeologist: Hey, I found something!

	(Daria mutes the TV)

Amy: Things got really messed up. This whole thing's gotten really messed up.
It's just not.....(Drifts off in hesitation)

Daria: Where I am with Sandi right now, I told Chris that, with where
everything's going, with the fact that he's saying all this stuff in this
interview about Jake being dead.....

Trent: He said Jake's dead? When did he say that?

Daria: Two weeks ago. It's Chris's fault. He told me to really shoot with him
in this interview. He sat me and Sandi down in a room and we went over all of
these things they wanted me to say. Attacking Sandi about being in the sack
with Chris. I'm going "You really want me to say this stuff?", and he's going
"Yeeeeaah, hit me with this." And I feel really uncomfortable, and I told them
that because I'd be doing the same thing to them that I'm asking them NOT to
do to me. This is getting really stupid.

Helen: It's about the same kind of intelligence involved as a bunch of
5-year-olds.

Daria: It's being built to the level where the hero HAS to prevail. You know?

	(Daria is home with Jake, Helen is out on business, Jane is at the table)

Daria*: Chris insisted that I lose to Sandi in Lawndale. He told me that I
can't go on the LCW TV show wearing his belt. I told him that I'd never do
that. I told him I'd drop the belt, but not in Lawndale. He insisted that I
lose the belt in Lawndale. I asked him "You told me I could leave any way I
wanted, and now you're throwing this at me?" This is really strange. I never
once said no to Chris Smith, ever.

Daria: Haven't I compromised enough? I put that in my contract. For the last
30 days, I had reasonable creative control. And now I'm in a situation where
......... thank god I put that in?

Jake: What if something happens, regardless?

Daria: Well, we won't have to worry about the referee, because I talked to
John. He swore on his kids that he wasn't going to let anything happen. And I
can trust John.

	(Cut to: The crowd of fans just outside the Lawndale High School Gymnasium,
the original home of the LHWF.)

Fan (With megaphone): No matter what Daria Morgan does, we want him to know
that we're behind him one-hundred percent! We love the Misery Chick, no matter
what she does, we love her!! (Roaring ovation)

(Daria is seen walking with luggage up to a hotel room)

Daria*: Tomorrow's the big showdown in Lawndale. It's probably the biggest
fight in my whole life. It's a great story I've been living for the past five
years, about to come to an end. (Pause) I spoke to Chris. He said "You have to
lose to Sandi in Lawndale."

Daria#: I can't do it. I described to him  "I may as well just blow my brains
out. What you're asking me to do, it's pretty much the exact same thing, from
a character standpoint. I would just be taking the Misery Chick and pretty
much her pointing a gun between her eyes and shooting her at point-blank."
People talk about how fake wrestling is. It's far more real than most people
think. Really, what they would prefer to do to me tomorrow, to me I think, is
to ... rape me in the middle of the ring. And it would be really tough for me
to get through the next few weeks, if I even make it that far. I don't even
know if I'll even make it that far, because I won't let them .... rape me.
Anyway, it's been hard. The whole thing's been hard.

THREE HOURS BEFORE THE SHOWDOWN IN LAWNDALE.

	(Helen is talking to Ms Barch)

Janet: I didn't hear anything until Friday. When I heard that Daria's going to
LCW, I was like "You're kidding me!".

Helen:Yeah, I think everyone here's in shock.

Janet: It's going to be like a huge void. You know, there was never a time
when she wasn't here.

	(Helen is talking to John Jingleheimerschmitt, the official referee for
tonight's match)

John: Yeah, I'm really going to miss Daria.

	(The cameraman manages to find David)

Cameraman: Do you have any idea why your Sister's leaving?

David: Nuh-uh.

	(Daria, and some relatives are meeting Chris)

Daria: ... and that's Stretch. (Pointing to Amy'a daughter that's a little
tall for her age. Stretch giggles) Umm, ok, (To her nephews and nieces) go
mess around. Chris and I gotta talk.

Chris: Ok, umm, right this way.

	(Daria and Chris are talking in Chris's "office", only the doorway is seen)

DARIA AND CHRIS MEET TO DISCUSS HOW TONIGHT'S MATCH WILL END.

DARIA WEARS "A WIRE".

Daria: I don't want to ever leave here with any kind of bad feelings, but this
has been kind of a bad week for me. I feel kinda betrayed.

Chris: Well, I do too, in a little bit. And again, all that we're really
talking about here is Kain. That's what's come between you and me, and that's
all. I can't really tell you how appriciative I will always be for all you've
done.

Daria: I didn't want to leave with any problems, actually I didn't want to
leave at all, but there doesn't seem to be any other choice. The way this
whole thing has been depicted, it's going to be really hard for me, as a hero,
to come up short this weekend. Ummm, what would you want to do today?

Chris: I'm open to anything.

Daria: I think I just want to get through today. Then tomorrow, I think I want
to just do my speech, and then forefit the title. It'd allow me to leave with
my head up high, in a nice way. I don't have to beat Sandi, we could just have
a big schmoz, whatever you want.

Chris: I'm thinking of a run-in type of thing, but I'm open to anything.

	(Daria is talking with Rich)

Rich: Ok, but I want to have the whole thing ironed out before all the guys
start jumping in.

	(Rich goes to see Chris, and Daria finds Helen)

Daria: It's ok, I just talked to Chris, it's going to be a disqualification.

Helen: I don't believe it.

Daria*: So Chris finally agreed that I didn't have to lose the belt, that I
could leave with my head up high.

Jay Tea (Commentating): .......two of the most dominant, two of the most
premier athletes in the WWF, it's gotten very personal, very physical, this is
going to be stiff........

	(Sandi walks to the ring, once more with the Lawndale Lions banner, the
second she gets in the ring, she rubs it "where the sun doesn't shine", and
then humps it. All of this is to get the crowd riled up. Daria then walks to
the ring, same way as always.)

	(Sandi attacks Daria before the bell, and backs her into a corner, laying in
a flurry of lefts and rights. Daria then pulls out and forces Sandi in the
same corner and does the same thing. Daria drags Sandi by the hair and slams
her onto the mat.)

	(Later in the match, Daria attempts to hit Sandi with a double axhandle
smash from the top turnbuckle, John Jingleheimerschmitt, {The referee} gets in
the way, and all three collide with each other. You can hear a Voiceover
conversation between Daria and Rich, discussing the match)

Rich: Ok, let's run this by again.

Daria: Ok, we bump the referee, he's supposed to stay down, and the Sandi goes
for the True Misery. I reverse it and put it on her. Then all the other guys
jump in the ring, and it all ends in a big schmoz. That's how it's supposed to
end.

	(Sandi gets up and puts Daria in the True Misery, the referee gets up early,
and while Daria is attempting to reverse the hold, John signals for the bell.
Both Daria and Sandi look at Chris {Who was at ringside the entire time} in
total disbelief. Daria literally spits on him.)

Daria*: I reached around to grab Sandi's leg, and I could barely hear someone
say "Ring the bell!". That's when I knew it was Chris Smith. I finally
realized that they screwed me. They really screwed me, the lousy bastards.

	(A few cameras catch the expressions of some of the fans. All are pisseed.
Repeated voiceover of the conversation between Daria and Chris, before the
match)

Daria*: I don't have to beat Sandi, we could just have a big schmoz. It'd
allow me to leave with my head up high, in a nice way.

Chris*: Whatever you want.

	(Daria walks with the Lawndale Posse back to the locker room, angry, and
depressed. David's got a look of murder in his eyes. Daria meets up with
Helen, Amy, and the others)

Daria: (Hugging Helen) The piece of shit's locked himself in his office.

	(Daria is just sitting there in the locker room while Sandi is changing out
of her outfit)

Daria: ..so you weren't in on that at all?

Sandi: (Somewhat angry) My hands are clean on this one, Chris just told me to
grab the belt and run. I don't want any part of this.

	(Daria looks up, and tells the cameraman to turn off the camera for a
moment. Cut to: The hallway outside, where Helen is reading several people,
including Thomas Maher, the Riot Act.)

Helen: Don't give me any of that shit! You knew it from the very beginning!

Thomas: I swear to God we had nothing to do with this.

Helen: Yeah? Well you can swear to God all you want, but someday, God is going
to strike you down.

Thomas: I know you're upset...

Helen: Of course I'm upset, because you knew it all along! You're going to all
go back to the hotel room and have a big laugh about it, a few beers here and
there. Just you remember, Tom, what goes around, comes around.

	(Cut back to: The locker room.)

Cameraman: What happened?

Daria#: Somehow, Chris ran into my hand. But I ..... drilled him. 'Knocked him
out.

	(Cut to: The drive home)

Daria*: When the smoke cleared, it seemed like the right thing to do. There
just didn't seem to be any other choice but to nail Chris that one time and
then let it go. ...... That's a Kain judgement call.

	(Cut-to: a segment of a recent on-air interview)

Jay Tea: If you had the oppurtunity to speak with Daria, because you know
she's watching, what would you say to her now?

Chris: It's too bad that a five-year relationship was destroyed because one
member of that relationship forgot that we're in the Sports Entertainment
business. Forgot where she came from. Daria screwed Daria, and she can look in
the mirror and know that.  I have no sympathy whatsoever for Daria Morgan. I
have no sympathy for someone , not doing the right thing for the business that
made her. Not doing the right thing for the fans, the performers and the
promoters that made her.  She made a rather selfish decision, and she'll have
to live with that for the rest of her life. Daria screwed Daria, I have no
sympathy for Daria.

	(Daria is home with Helen, on the couch.)

Daria#: Chris Smith has always had this mentality about treating wrestlers
like circus animals. All of these wrestlers, breaking their backs for this
business for years, wind up with just about nothing when it's over, and they
take you in the back, put a .44 slug in the back of your head, and then dump
you in the river. That's the life of a professional wrestler, and in my case,
and the demands I had put in my contract were to literally put the power back
into the wrestler's hands, somewhat. Maybe that was their whole plan, maybe I
was becoming too powerful, and now it's time for Chris Smith, the promoter, to
tear this one down once and for all, amybe he felt he had something to prove
to himself, but I'll never know. But I do know one thing, that it was wrong.

	(Cut back to the edition of "Off the Record")

Michelle: Is there a right and is there a wrong?

Martin: There's Daria's argument, which may seem a little naïve, but go back
to a world like Hamlet, where Hamlet finds himself in world in which he can
find no moral values whatsoever. But he has personal integrity. He keeps his
word. He does what he promises he will do, and that makes him a good man, even
if he's in a bad world.

	(Daria and Jane are walking over to the Lane house.)

Daria*: It's almost a fitting end to the Misery Chick character, because she
never sold out, and she never lost her integrity. Daria Morgan came home,
she's fine. What they did is that they murdered this Misery Chick character.

DARIA NOW WORKS ONCE MORE UNDER HER OLD MENTOR, KAIN. THIS TIME, UNDER THE
BANNER OF LAWNDALE CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING.

Notes:

Bret "The Hitman" Hart (Replaced with Daria in this story) was and always will
be one of my idols (Not just in wrestling). He always stood up for what was
right, and for what he believed in. When he turned heel, I was still with him,
because when he rebelled against the American wrestling fans (He is from
Calgary, Alberta, Canada) I took a lot of pride in believing, like him, that
the American wrestling fans had no morals whatsoever. And we were right, if
the fans were to cheer assholes like "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (Replaced with
Brittany Taylor), and arrogant self-centered pricks like Shawn Michaels
(Replaced with Sandi Griffin), then I had no reason to care a rat's ass about
them. But we sat through the ordeal, and long after, hoping Vince McMahon
(Replaced with myself) would see the error of his ways and tone down the sex,
tone down the excessive violence. But with the sex, as they so often put it,
sells. And with the recent rise in popularity of Jerry Springer's trash-talk
show, the fans were wanting nothing but blood, and sometimes more. That, and
Vince McMahon, is a deadly, and profitable combination that has made him over
a billion dollars.

Regardless of all the bullshit that went on, Bret never waived his loyalty, he
never backed down, and he never gave up. Regardless of the offer of nine
million dollars from Ted Turner to join World Championship Wrestling, Bret
stayed with Vince McMahon's World Wrestling Federation, as he has done so for
fourteen years. Until October 1997, when Bret decided to take up Ted Turner's
offer and come to WCW. For the last month in the WWF, Bret had reasonable
creative control of his character (As was stated in his contract), but Vince
insisted that he lose the WWF world title in Montreal, in front of his native
Canadian fans. Call it pride, if you will, but Bret refused to do that. He
said he would drop the belt, but not in Canada.

Survivior Series '97, in Montreal, came. Bret had to work one last match. The
plan was for Bret to reverse the Sharpshooter (Replaced with The True Misery
in the story) that Shawn put on him, then people from the back would all come
out and interfere with the match, causing a disqualification. Then Bret could
come on Monday Night Raw the next night and forefit the title. But when Bret
tried to reverse the Sharpshooter, Vince ordered the timekeeper to ring the
bell. It was a real-life double-cross. Some fans thought it was a work, some
knew better. A year later, everyone would know better when the documentry was
finally pieced together.

Vince was pissed when he found out about the wire, one year later. :)

It took me awhile to finally decide to actually do a fanfic based on the
documentry. I wasn't entirely sure as to how to make the conversion, but after
awhile, it was easy as pie. Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed playing
myself as the somewhat slimy-evil promoter. In the years I've been writing
myself in fanfics, I've always taken great pride in being a normal, decent
good guy.

In closing, Bret Hart will always be "The best there is, the best there was,
and the best that there will ever be". Say what you will about Steve Asutin,
say what you will about The Rock, say what you will about Goldberg, but Bret
Hart's 20 years of service has earned him the right to actually say that,
because when it's all said and done, he really is the best.

CAST

Daria Morgan - The Bret Hart of the story. Daria will never give up when it
comes to standing up for what's right.

Quinn Morgan "The Red Queen" - Quinn is basically the narcisis of the group.

Jane Lane - Kinda like Owen Hart, basic technical high-flyer, but acts like
Jim Neidhart at times..

Trent Lane - Maintains his role of Rip Van Winkle (Snicker), but is somewhat
like the British Bulldog.

Jesse Moreno - The Brian Pillman of the story. Crazy, sadistic, and more
vocal.

David Morgan - Even though he doesn't really exist, it would have been nice
for Daria and Quinn to have a little brother.

Chris Smith - The sole-owner and operator of the Lawndale High Wrestling
Federation.

Kain - The former owner of the LHWF, now the owner of Lawndale Championship
Wrestling, and Daria's trainer.

Sally - Kain's loving wife, and Vice-President of the LCW.

Tom Marek - One of Kain's best friends, and one of the creative staff of LCW.

Andrea - Known as Zombie in the LHWF, Andrea picks up a little of the Mankind
persona, takes bumps even in her sleep. She seems to LOVE the hardcore-style
matches. Don't even get me started on her match with Masahiro Chono in Japan
in that exploding board barbed-wire match........

Upchuck - Plays himself, and plays with himself (Not literally, of course). He
is even worse than Goldust when it comes right down to it. Even he wouldn't
wear a strap-on dildo to the ring.

The Fashion Club - The biggest group of degenerates in the LHWF, led by Sandi
Griffin. The Fashion Club is the LHWF's version of Degeneration-X.

Sandi Griffin - Vain, obnoxious, self-centered, and cocky, reminds me a lot of
Shawn Michaels.

Thomas Maher - Plays the role of Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Triple H). A snob,
turned fashion-clad degenerate.

Tiffany - Doesn't say much in the Fashion Club, but is quite the technical
brawler in the ring, Tiffany plays the role of Chyna.

Stacy - Stacy has always been known as a tag-along, so she maintains the role
of Miss Kitty. Cute and somewhat harmless.

Brittany Taylor - Brittany maintains her .... "Damaged" cheerleader persona,
yet she acts like Steve Austin and seems to be given a Goldberg-esque gimmick.

Demontino - It took a lot of doing to control Anthony's bulging eye to where
he could do it whenever he wanted, but when he did, he took up somewhat of an
Undertaker persona.