"MALLEDRATS" DARIA/MALLRATS Author: Nick Hernandez Email: Clowndown6@aol.com Guest starring: Beavis and Butt-head Catagory: crossovers Notes: by the end of thie fanfic one of the characters will be changed for the better and Beavis dosent score (Daria and Jane are shown walking into the mall) Daria:Why are we coming here agian? Jane:Because I need a new glue gun. Daria:What happened to your old one? Jane:I left it plugged in over night Daria:But Quinn is here. Jane:Good I'll need to test the glue gun. (cut to the highway where Beavis and Butt-head are walking) Beavis:heh heh umm where are we going Butt-head? Butt-Head:the mall dumbass! Beavis:isnt there a mall in Highland? Butt-Head:yeah but its like chicks wont know us there huh huh? Beavis:Oh yeah heh heh (Back at the mall where Daria and Jane are staning in front of the craft store) Jane:Dammit, closed Daria:should we go? Jane:we'll wait till it opens Daria food court? Jane:food court (cut to the Fashion Club walking out of the GAP) Quinn:I wounder why like the mall is full of all these losers in the morning? (walking past two guys we automaticaly know as Jay and Siolent Bob Jay:Hey baby ever have your asshole licked? Sandy:why dont you two losers go buy some comics or somthing! Quinn:why do you even have the nerve to show your faces in here! Jay:What?!? is was an honest question Sandy:what ever (walking away) Jay:Come on Siolent Bob we got shit to do any way,lets go sell this phatty boom batty blunt to some foolish high schooler calling me king of the mark up. Siolent Bob:(lights a cigarette) (skip over to Beavis and Butt-Head entering the mall) Beavis:we better score this time! Butt-Head:dumbass we gotta talk to them first... Beavis:Butt-Head! look its Diarrhea heh heh. Butt-head:yeah she been gone like a long time huh huh. Beavis:yeah and that stoopid camera man followd her and not us heh heh! Butt-Head:what? Beavis:I didnt say anything, lets go talk to her heh heh (Beavis and Butt-head start running over to do the're Diarrhea chant when the Fashion Club walks around the corner) (((CRASH))) Quinn,Sandi:WHAT THE HELL!(getting knocked on there asses) Beavis:(holding his head)Watch where your going bunghole! Butt-head :(smaking Beavis then trying to help Quinn up)Come to Butt-Head Quinn:eeeew let go of me!!! Beavis:(a thought bubble forms over his head whith squeaky gears turning)Whe're like sorry for bumbing into you and stuff heh heh. Sandi:well sorry is'nt enough why dont you go jump off a bridge or somthing! Butt-Head:you'll have to exuse Beavis he's a dumbass uhh huh huh huh. Beavis:yeah not very smart heh heh hmph. (Beavis and Butt-Head soon Realize the Fashion Cub allready left) (cut back to Daria and Jane) Jane:Arent we in this episode too? Daria:what? Jane never mind,I gotta go too the bathroom(Jane gets up from the table) Daria:I'll be here. (cut to the other end of the food court where Jay and Siolent Bob are looking at Daria) Jay:She looks like a clam digger,come on lunch box. (they walk over to Daria) Jay:Hey man you ever get stoned. (If your looking foward to Daria getting high it wont happen) Daria:do I look like an idiot? Jay:its cool, whats your name? Daria:Daria, and you are? Jay,I'm Jay and this tubby bitch is Siolent Bob. Siolent Bob:(nods) Daria:do you let him talk about you that way? Siolent Bob:(shrugs his shoulders) (Jane walks up) Jane:and who might you guys be? Daria:This is Jay and Siolent Bob. Jay:hey baby you ever have your... (Siolent Bob elbows Jay in his back) Jay:I mean you... (Siolent Bob slaps him in the back of the head this time) Jay: knock it off. (Jay sees Beavis and Butt-Head walk by from accross the food court) Jay:I gotta go I thin I see a sale, catch ya later snoochie boochies. (Jay and Siolent Bob walk off) Jane:What was that all about? Daria:Just some local stoners trying to sell me somthing. Jane:no sale huh? Daria:my mind is all I got going for me I wouldnt wanna ruin it. Jane:yeah then you would act like brittany and be still unpopular. Daria:thats a little too scary. Jane:speaking of scary here comes your sister and the three stooges. Daria:looks like Qinn ran out of money. Jane:what no credit cards? Quinn:hey Daria could you... Daria:no I'm tapped I could'nt give you any money I'f I wanted too. Jane:And Shes just die'n to do so. Quinn:No not that I was woundering if you could get those two losers out of the mall you know them dont you? Daria:Jay and Siolent Bob? Quinn:No Beaver and Buff-coat or somthing. (Darias eyes open wide) Daria:OOH NO I'm not going through that again they should'nt even be here. Quinn:Pleeeese Daria the're tainting the mall it makes me want to leave. Tiffany:yeah the're so annoying. Sandi:why are waisting our time talking to this brain,even if she gets them to leave there are still those other mallrats walking around here. Stacy:Here they come. Quinn:lets get outta here. (the Fashion Club walks away) Jane:what a buff-coat? Daria:Its a long annoying story. Jane:theres still a few minuts before the craft store opens. (then we find Jay and Siolent Bob talking to the idiotic duo) Butt-Head: will it get us chicks? Jay:all the chicks you want man. Beavis and Butt-Head:YESS!!! Siolent bob loses interest and pulles out a cigarette places it in the palm of his hand and just stares at it. Jay:all you need is this phatty boom batty blunt and you'll get all the chicks you want. Butt-Head: uhh ok huh huh. Beavis: Yeah patty boob batty heh boom patty heh heh heh Jay:well pay up man. Butt-head uhh pay Jay:this shit aint free man. Butt-head:how much? Jay:twenty. Butt-head: Hey Beavis you got twenty cents? Jay:TWENTY BUCKS! Butt-Head:ok huh huh we'll be back, c'mon Beavis I'll bet Diarrhea has some money. Beavis:is deep in thought with harts around his head. (Butt-Head smacks him) Beavis:AAAGH Butt-Head: C'mon dumbass! (Jay slaps the cagarette out of Siolent Bobs hand) Jay:Knock it off! (Jane and Daria are walking through the mall talking) Jane: And thats how it all started? Daria: yep,I wounder what there doing here? (just then Beavis and Butt-Head walk out from around the corner, dont ya just hate these corners?) Beavis: Hey umm, Dar-i-a(straining to say it right) Butt-Head: Diarrhea cha cha cha Diarrhea cha cha... (Close up of Daria looking angry) (Close up of Beavis looking angry,for some strange reason) Daria,Beavis: SHUT UP BUTT-HEAD!!! (Butt-Head gets a shocked look on his face) Butt-Head:Dammit Beavis dont you ever tell me to shut up! (Beavis Kick Butt-Head in the nads) Butt-Head: UUUGH (thuds as he hits the floor) Daria: why did you do that? Beavis:(lookin confused) I Dunno, I Just got pissed heh heh Jane: this is like a bad soap opera. (dont worry it wont happen Beavis just has a crush) (Jay and Siolent Bob Catch up to them) Jay: woah what happend Jane:Beavis has taken a liking to Daria here,wheres the siolent one? (Siolent Bob Drops from the rafters like Sting would) Jay: Fatass was watching Nitro last night and been doing that ever since. Daria(thinking to herself and looking at Beavis)What a sad sad little boy. Butt-Head: dammit beavis I'm gonna... (Beavis kicks him again) (later there all sitting in the food court talking) Daria:...and thats why you have a crush on me? Beavis: yeah heh heh your pretty cool. Butt-Head Beavis always liked brainy chicks uhh huh huh like Diarrhea huh huh huh. (Beavis is quick to kick him in the nads) Beavis: (looking down at Butt-Head) yeah,ya bunghole Jane:I think hes a gonna need some ice for that. Jay: well you are kinda cute Daria, hey have you ever had your (pausing and looking down at Butt-Head) never mind Jane:think Quinn is still here? Daria: Probly. Jay: that Bitch has got some mad titties. Butt-Head: yeah it probly runs in the family uhh oh wait Daria barly has any boobs huh huh huh Beavis:THATS IT BUTT-HEAD I'M GONNA CAVE YOUR NADS IN!!! (Beavis jumps him causing them both to fall behind the booth you here hits landing) Butt-Head: C'MON! WUSSY! Jane:I wounder what the wedding will be like? Daria: I will kill you... Jane: think he could take Trent? Daria: ...and I'll dance on your grave too Beavis: hey Does that Fass-on Club piss anyone els off heh heh heh? Jay,Daria,Jane:Yeah! Butt-Head:(weakly) yeah "koff koff" Jay: they got Siolent Bob sobbing like a bitch. Daria: one of them lives with me. Jane: umm thay were bore Siolent Bob: (yes he can speak) they made fun of the Jedi. Jay: Hey were a group. Daria:what are you thinking? (looking over at Jay) Jay: Well... (cut to Fashion club) Sandi: why did it get so Quiet all the sudden? Quinn Yeah I hav'nt seen any of those losers around. (Daria and Beavis walk up) Daria:Have any of you herd about that sale? Beavis:Yeah heh heh EVERY THING MUST GO! Quinn: Where, TELL ME Daria: its 50% of all cloths at the GAP. (the Club dos'nt say anythin they just book over to the gap) Quinn: there no sale here!!! (just then Jay and Biolent Bob Drop from the Rafters Dumping Yellow Paint on the Fashion Club while Butt-Head and Jane run up from behind sticking glue and big blue wigs to the heads of the Fashion Club and Daria starts snapping pictures, everyone in the mall is pointing and laughing at them) (Daria,Jane,Beavis,Butt-Head,Jay, and Siolent Bob are all Leaving the mall) Daria:going back to highland? Beavis:yeah back to the ole urianium water. Jane:What Happend to your laugh? Beavis:I'll be dammed I didn't laugh did I? Butt-Head:Beavis haas been acting kind of wierd he's even been taking showers and learning crap, uhh huh huh Beavis used to stink uhh huh huh huh. (Beavis lowers his head after that swift blow to his pride) Daria(thinking to herself) oh what the hell. (Daria then leans over and kisses Beavis on the cheek) Beavis:(still in shock) t...th...thank you. Daria:but we'er only friends, ok? Beavis:cool Butt-Head:so uhh Jane uhh huh huh Jane: Dont Even think it!!! Jay: or we'll all kick you in the sweaty sack! Beavis:Yeah Bung...dumbass (Daria and Jane are seen walking home into the sun set) Jane: Why'd ya do it? Daria: He's lived a sad and pityfull life and is just now learnig how to...well LEARN! Jane: so can I be a brides Maid. Daria: Don't start. Daria went home that day only to use a whole bottle of scope Jane was pissed when she realized she forgot about getting a new glue gun Beavis no longer has a crush on Daria but are now good friends and is currently on the honor roll at Highland High school Butt-Head is thinking differently about school and girls and hopes to take after Beavis and start paying more attention in school and as for Jay and Siolent Bob well thats another story... THE END.