Life of Rehearsal

By: J

Disclaimer: "Daria" is © and ® MTV, a division of Viacom Entertainment. Daria and all her cohorts (except for the Kinsingtons) were created by Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis. The Kinsingtons were created and are © J. Use of the Kinsingtons without the permission of the author for the purpose of turning a profit is prohibited. I would suggest you didn't, because...Trust me, you don't want to know

Also also, if you have any comments, questions, or you just want to tell me I suck, e-mail me at:

One more thing. BIG thanks to Steven Galloway, who pretty much wrote the football v.s. Soccer arguement in scene VI. and Renfield. who helped write some Quinn Dialogue in the final scene. As well as Wouter Jaegers, Shawa, Rancour, MeScribble, Lady B and Steven Galloway (again) for being my beta readers (Or at least being the ones who actually replied when I sent this to them.) I would probably have shelved this without all of you. Thanks

O.K. here we go. Make sure you keep all tray tables and seats in the upright and locked position. Store all carry-on luggage in the overhead bin or under the seat. And in the event of a water landing...Drown.

"You're Standing On My Neck" begins to play, but the title sequence will be as follows:

It is night. Camera sweeps over a rooftop. Stop on Mara, who nods her head and says: "All right. If we're gonna do it." She turns her head to the right and continues: "Let's do the bloody thing right." Music begins now.

Mack and Damien are in Shakespearian costumes. Mack has his head shaved. He looks absolutely PISSED. He grabs Damien and pushes him into a rectangular pool of water at the front of the stage.

Daria and Darren are standing in what looks like a fast food kitchen. They are wearing rather embarrassing uniforms that have the American Flag design on them. There is an older man standing between them. He grabs his head and falls over backward. Daria and Darren look at him, look at each other, and shrug.

We see O'Neill standing, in the auditorium, next to a middle aged woman. Suddenly, Damien runs into the shot and tackles her.

Darkness. Then some stage lights turn on. Mystik Spiral is standing on a very large stage, instruments ready. Trent has his back turned to the camera. The rest of the band looks scared $#!7less. Trent turns around and gets the same expression on his face. The camera pans to behind him. Showing Mystik spiral standing in front of a VERY large crowd.

Mara is sitting in a conference room. She looks bored as all hell. She then pulls out a book called: Vaseline, gasoline, and five hundred other ways to make plastic explosives.

Miranda is standing on stage at a school dance of some kind. She is playing a guitar. In the background, Darren is playing bass, Damien is playing drums, and a slightly older version of the brothers Kinsington is on the other guitar. Darren is wearing a dress shirt, unbuttoned, a white t-shirt underneath, black slacks, and black Doc Martins. Damien is shirtless. Miranda is wearing a white pixie dress and her hair is done in a set of tight braids, each braid colour alternating red and purple. She is playing what looks like a very complicated solo. Trent is staring at her in awe.

Daria and Jane are in the theatre. Daria is wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. Jane is dressed as she usually is. Upchuck is accosting the girls. Miranda grabs him and pulls him off camera. Daria and Jane look in their direction, then exchange looks of nausea.

Our heroes are standing in front of a bulletin board reading a notice. Camera moves down the line. Daria looks impassive, Jane looks shocked, Damien has a scowl, Darren looks angry, Miranda looks absolutely pissed. She is breathing heavily, gnashing her teeth, and her left eye is twitching. She closes her eyes and screams something.

Jodie is standing in front of Mr DeMartino's class, giving a presentation. She puts her left hand to her forehead and continues. She puts her hand to her forehead again. A couple beats later, she collapses.

Stacy is running down the halls of Lawndale High. Sandi is running after her weilding a blood stained Chainsaw.

Close up on Daria, who smirks as the Daria Logo comes up over a yellow background.

Daria in: Life of Rehearsal

Scene I

EXT: Rowe House

Music: Sleep, by Garbage

CUT TO: Stacy's bedroom

Stacy is asleep in her bed. She is tossing and turning, like she's having a bad dream.

CUT TO: The dream

Stacy is running down the halls of Lawndale high. She runs over the camera, which is placed on the ground. A few beats after she runs past, Sandi runs past, holding a blood stained chainsaw in front of her.

CUT TO: a side view of Stacy, who's still running. Camera pans right to show Sandi swinging said chainsaw.

Stacy is then seen crawling along the floor until she reaches a door, at which point she opens it and sneaks in.

We then see a frontal shot of Stacy sitting with her back against the door. She is panting heavily. She then gets a very scared look to her as she covers her mouth to stifle any noise. Her eyes look up as camera pans up to show Sandi's sillhoette in the frosted window in the door. Sandi looks around, then moves off to the left.

Stacy removes her hand from her mouth and breathes out a sigh of relief.

Camera cuts to a left profile shot of her breathing heavily. She then flinches and screams as the blade of the chainsaw suddenly cuts through the door at about the level of her neck.

Camera cuts to Stacy's POV. The chainsaw inches closer as she...

Wakes up screaming.

Stacy wakes up in a cold sweat. She starts shivering and breathing heavily again. She puts her hand to her forehead as she talks to herself

Stacy: It was just a dream. It won't really happen, Sandi isn't like that.

She takes her hand, which is now covered in sweat, off her forehead. She looks at her hand and cringes

Stacy: Eew, Sweat. That looks, like, so bad.

She is then startled by a knock on the door

Stacy's Mother: Stacy? Are you ok?

Stacy: Um...Yeah, I'm fine.

Stacy's Mother: Oh. Well, try to get some sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow.

Stacy: Um...ok.

Stacy gets back under the covers and turns her back to the camera. A few seconds later, we hear the sounds of soft crying

EXT: Lawndale High

Music: "Crash (Into Me)" by The Gufs (You've probably never heard of them)

Scene II


Darren and Jane are sitting beside a group of lockers. Jane is giving Darren her sketchbook

Jane: So, I finally have some ideas for the set that I like. I'm just hoping that O'Neill will approve.

Darren looks at the sketchbook, then he gets a "Please tell me that you're kidding" look

Darren: Um...You're not serious, I hope.

Jane: What? I'm an artist. I question normalcy.

Darren: Yeah, I know that, but...Othello in a supermarket.

Jane: Tell me, who else would dare to have the actors duel with baguettes?

Darren smirks, then he gives Jane her sketchbook

Darren: Whatever.

Enter Mack

Jane: Hey Mack. What do you think of these?

Mack looks at the designs, then smirks

Mack It's daring, but I think O'Neill will want something more traditional.

Jane: My art is lost on you people.

Mack smirks. Enter Daria and Damien

Jane: Hey, How did the lock picking instruction go?

Damien: Not bad, considering the locks Ms. Li puts on these doors.

Darren: All the more challenging.

Daria Now maybe I can get into some of Quinn's stuff.

Darren: (confused) Why?

Daria: Blackmail scheme. It's what normal siblings do.

Darren: As opposed to functional siblings like us?

Daria: Basically.

As our heroes talk, The camera pans to show the fashion club. Sandi, Tiffany, and Quinn look at our heroes, disdainfully. Stacy, on the other hand, has a look of pity for our heroes and fear of Sandi

Sandi: God Quinn! Why is Darren Kinsington hanging out with that loser cousin of yours?

Quinn: I know! And who's that loser guy that's with them?

Tiffany: (in typical form) Well...I heard...Darren say that that guy

Quinn Oh c'mon Tiffany. If I had a loser brother or sister, [immediately corrects] and I'm not saying I do, the last thing I'd do is admit it!

Tiffany: Really.

Camera cuts back to our heroes

Jane: Ya know. You'd think they'd catch on one of these years.

Daria: (deadpan) Especially when you've told them...several times.

Jane: Speaking of Quinn...How's she doing in the play?

Darren: Oh, bleedin' marvelous...when she actually shows up.

Daria: She's barely shown up in the past two weeks of rehearsal. How she made it through the "Canterbury Tales" is beyond me.

Jane: I don't think I want to know.

Daria gets a look of mild disgust

Daria: And I thank you for putting that image into my head.

Jane: Anytime, partner.

Mack: I don't understand it. From what I heard, she was pretty good last time.

Daria: Because she didn't have as many dates last time.

Darren: Well, we're supposed to get an assistant director today, maybe he can set her straight.

Daria: I doubt it. She's trying to distance herself from this.

Darren: Trying to move the blame, I take it.

Damien: Probably. That way she can say "Well, it's not my fault, I wasn't even there. (smirks) Besides, She won't get cut. I think that the school thinks that the play needs the popular kids to bring honour and glory to...

He is interupted by Ms. Li

Li: (accusatory) Why aren't you in class?

Darren: We still have a couple more minutes.

Li: Well, you'd better get moving, you know the punishment for tardiness?

Darren: (under his breath) Yeah, yeah, automatic week's detention. (He turns to the rest of the group.) Ea, mu prakao levi po kintaa na le nerfucdei.("I suggest that we continue this conversation tomorrow.")

The rest of the group just shrug and leave. Darren and Jane go one way, Damien, Daria, and Mack go the other. Li watches both groups leave, then she speaks into a dictaphone

Li: Update on investigation. The Lawndale Deviants have started using foreign languages. Obviously in an attempt to hide their subversive activities. Continue surveillance.

She moves offcamera. We see Darren, who was standing behind her, watching the whole thing. He gets a "You really don't get it, do you?" face. He then gets out a notebook, writes something in it, and continues down the hall.

Scene III O'Neill's Room

O'Neill is sitting on his desk, looking into a hand mirror.

O'Neill: Now, I'm sure you can get motivated to...

Enter Quinn:

Quinn: You wanted to talk to me?

O'Neill yelps, then regains his composure

O'Neill: (Worried) Um, Quinn, we need to talk about your attendence at the rehearsals.

Quinn: What's to discuss? I've been there a few times.

O'Neill: Now, while I understand that you have many things going on in your life.

Quinn: Tell me about it

O'Neill: Why, I remember when I was your age, and...

Quinn looks impatient

Quinn: Um...Can this wait? I to do tonight.

O'Neill: Oh, certainly. But, keep what I said in mind, ok?

Quinn: (as she exits) Whatever.

CUT TO: The Theatre

Darren and Damien enter through the doors. They suddenly stop, get a look of complete Joy, and look towards the heavens

Darren and Damien: Thank you!

Daria just looks at them

Scene IV

Still in the Theatre:

Music: "There You Go" by Pink

The Cast is sitting on the stage in a semi-circle, except for three kids, who are sitting by themselves. O'Neill is standing centre stage. Standing with him is a very thin, middle aged woman with short, curly blond hair and round glasses. She is wearing light blue jeans and a grey t-shirt that has a portrait of Shakespeare. O'Neill is taking roll

O'Neill: Montano?...Othello?...Desdemona?...Desdemona?...Where's Quinn Morgendorffer?

Daria: Not here.

O'Neill: (concerned) Oh no, I hope she's ok. She's been missing a lot of practices lately.

Darren: Really? No $#!7.

O'Neill's mood suddenly brightens

Well, I'd like to present a new face to the play. She has done a lot of work with Shakespearean troupes. Please give a warm Lawndale welcome to Diane Kolinksi.

Camera stays on her as we hear scattered applause. Suddenly, Damien runs into the shot, tackles her, and gives her a great big bear hug.

O'Neill: Well, It's...nice to see such...enthusiasm, Damien.

Kolinski: (groans) Nice to see you too, Damien. Now get off of me.

Damien waits a couple seconds, then gets up and goes back to his seat. Kolinksi gets up and composes herself. Camera cuts to Daria

Daria: (To the brothers) You know her?

Darren: (grins) Our beloved drama teacher back in Kenesha.

Back to O'Neill

O'Neill: (to Kolinski) Well, Diane, take over.[Exit O'Neill]

Kolinski looks at her clipboard, then looks around

Kolinski: Who's Daria?

Daria raises her hand

Kolinski: Oh, good. You're Quinn's sister, I assume?

Daria: Though it would kill her to admit it, yes.

Kolinski: (to herself) I'm not going to ask (back to Daria) How do you pronounce your last name?

Daria: Mor-gen-dor-ffer

Kolinski gets a mildly offended look

Kolinski: (To everyone) O.k. I'm 47 years old, I'm not five.

Darren: Although she does sometimes act like it.

Daria looks at him. Kolinski just nods and smirks

Kolinski: (points to Darren) True. The point is that I'm not senile yet. (Looks at the three kids who are sitting by themselves) Um...could you three sit with the rest of the group, so I don't have to look back and forth and crap?

Darren and Damien smirk. Daria just looks impassive


Scene V

Yes, still in the theatre.

Music "Home" by Staind

The cast is standing in a circle, holding hands. Their eyes are all closed, except for Damien's, for obvious reasons.

O'Neill: Now, when you're out there, wowing the crowd, you must remember that you should act as one mind. It may take time to perfect. But, someone said that if you put a thousand monkeys (sp?) in a room, and give them typewriters, eventually, you'd have...

CUT TO: Daria

Daria: ...A room full of dead monkeys.

Darren: Not to mention a really bad smell.

Kolinski glares at them

Kolinski: (dead serious) Guys, listen to him! When you're on stage, you can't act like 40 different people. You must know exactly what the other person will do. If you don't, you won't know where the hell you are, the play will fail, and, as much as I hate to quote Adam Sandler, they're all gonna laugh at you!

O'neill looks at her with a mixture of shock (that she would take that tone with her students) and relief (that someone actually understands what he's trying to say.)

CUT TO: The students.

The camera moves down the line, Daria looks impassive, Darren and Damien are grinning, and Kevin looks very uncomfortable.

EXT Lawndale High. We hear Kevin

Kevin: C'mon Mack Daddy.

Scene VI

Near Mack's locker.

Mack is getting his books. Kevin, is standing next to him. Darren and Miranda are sitting down, indian style.

Music: "When Dolphins Cry" by Live

Mack: (annoyed) Kevin, You can't quit. You're one of the major characters...And don't call me that!

Kevin: I can't take it. You heard the lady! Just the thought of the whole team laughing at me.

Darren: Kevin, they're jocks, what makes you think they'd step foot near the theatre in the first place?

Mack: It's one of the rules, I think.

Kevin: (perks up) Really? (turns to Darren) Hey, too bad the soccer team doesn't have the same rule.

Darren looks very annoyed

Darren: Oh, for #$%*'s sake, don't start this again.

Kevin: C'mon, bro. Our football is better, so why don't you just call soccer, like we do?

Darren: (through gritted teeth) Because we came up with the name first?

Miranda rolls her eyes. She then turns to Mack

Miranda: Might I suggest we go somewhere else?

Mack: Why? This is getting good.

Miranda: You don't know how big a footie fan exists in my brother. [looks at Kevin and Darren] This is the kind of argument that could turn violent.

Mack and Miranda leave Darren and Kevin arguing in the hallway. Darren and Kevin are now facing each other.

Kevin: It's *football*, bro! Our sport is football! Your's is soccer, not football!

Darren: (sarcastically) Can't argue with that logic.

Kevin: (Confused) Um...what are we arguing?

Darren (Frowning:) Look, the goalkeeper is the only one who can use his hands. The rest of us have to use our feet. Therefore, it-is-FOOTBALL! You guys generally use your hands to run with your ball, or to throw it! You use your feet to only kick the ball when you're kicking off, punting, or going for the extra point! If anything, your sport should be called handball!

Kevin: (Rolls his eyes:) Aww, man--that's stupid! There's already a sport called handball! You see, two people hit the ball against a wall...

Darren: (Smirks:) Then why don't they call their sport "wallball?"

Kevin: (Exasperated:) 'Cause there's no such thing as "wallball," dude!

Darren: (grins) How do you know?

Kevin: (Now thoroughly confused, looks up, scratches head:) Uhhh, Gee, I don't know, bro!

Darren: (While walking away:) Well, when you find out, do me a favour and tell me, will you? See you around.

Kevin: (Calling after him:) Yeah, I'll do just that, dude! (Looks confused:) Ummm--what were we talking about? (Shrugs. Sees Brittany:) Hey, babe!

Darren walks off, mumbling to himself

Darren: Idiot!

He walks up to Miranda

Miranda: (smirking) Nice. Remind me to try that on my ex-boyfriend the next time I see him.

Darren: (chuckles) You've never had an ex-boyfriend. Come to think of it, you've never had a boyfriend.

Miranda: Touché dear brother

Darren: I might have been too hard on him. I guess we're not meant to understand American Football.

Miranda: Then again, They probably wouldn't understand cricket if we tried to explain it to them.

Darren: (Just looks at her) Neither would we.

Miranda concedes the point

Miranda: True.

Darren smirks

Scene VII: The theatre

Daria and Damien enter. A little bit later, Keven staggers in looking shaken. He looks fine, except for the fact that he now has a big, red circle and the "Adidas" logo imprinted on his forehead. Daria looks somewhat curiously at Kevin, then she turns to Darren

Music: Deep Deep Down by (?)

Daria: What happened?

Darren: Well, it went something like this.

Begin Flashback

Kevin and Mack were sitting in gym class. Kevin was rather disgusted with the unit that the teacher had planned

Kevin: Aw Man! We're playing soccer?!

Mack: Well, Coach says that we should be getting into other sports.

Kevin: (exasperated) C'Mon Mack Daddy. We should be playing football. After all, it is the most popular sport out there.

Mack: (Under his breath) Even though the rest of the world plays a different football.

Kevin: (Seeming to completely forget his arguement with Darren) Um...what do they call it?

Mack rolled his eyes

Mack: Nevermind. Look, just give it a try.

Kevin: O.K., but I have to be the QB.

Mack: (annoyed) Kevin, there is no QB in soccer.

Kevin tried to let that fact sink in

Kevin: (dejected) Aww Man! How can anyone play a sport without a QB?

Mack pointed to the Brothers Kinsington, who were playing a rather heated game of "Hackey Sack" with a soccer ball

Mack: Well, they don't seem to have a problem with it.

Darren used his knee to pass the ball to Damien. Damien then bounced the ball on both knees, on his right elbow, then he bounced it off of his forehead before catching it in his hands. Kevin looked impressed

Kevin: Whoa! (Calls out) Hey dude. Let me try that.

Damien looked at Kevin, who was flaging him down. Mack walks over to the brothers

Damien: (To Darren) Is he talking to me?

Darren: I don't know. I think so.

They both looked at Kevin

Mack: He wants to try to bounce the ball off his head.

Kevin squats and puts his hands on his knees. Like he's ready to wrestle

Kevin: Yeah! C'mon! I'm ready!

Damien: (To Darren) You really think I should?

Darren winced, uncertain

Darren: (signing and speaking) If you want to, go light. As annoying as he is, I don't think you want to kill him.

Mack: Is that really a problem?

Darren: Kinda. Damien is pretty powerful.

Everything was ready. Darren placed the ball on the ground. Kevin narrowed his eyes, as did Damien. The other students in the class gathered around the two. Damien came up to the ball and kicked it. The ball sailed through the air. Its target (Kevin) made contact...and promptly fell over backwards. The rest of the football team rushed over to help their teammate. Mack, Damien, and Darren just looked at the scene

Daria: (V.O. from present) So, our star quarterback found out that it's not as easy as it looks.

CUT TO: Present. Darren shakes his head

Darren: Oh, no. If you don't know what you're doing, it's like trying to head a bowling ball.

O'Neill walks up

O'Neill: Um...Guys. We're about ready to start.

Later That Day

O'Neill: Well. A little change of pace today. I decide that we should get a feel for how the play should be done. So we're gonna watch a tape of one of the versions of Othello.

Daria: Because everyone knows that you can't simply do your own version, you have to take some ideas from other places.

Darren: Hey, That's the way the world works.

Later on...

The entire cast is watching the video. Camera moves down the line. Daria and Darren look bored. Damien looks vaguely interested. O'Neill is rather excitedly writing down scene ideas directly from the movie, and Kolinski looks at him, somewhat condecendingly. (sp?)

Commercial Break

Scene VIII A couple Days Later

Daria and Jane are walking to school. Daria is relating the events of rehearsal so far

Music: "(sic)" by Slipknot

Daria: So then Kevin started to spit his pepsi at Darren.

Jane: So, he's finally learning the correct way to treat the understudies? How did Darren take it.

Daria: Rather well, actually. He waited until after he finished rehearsing before saying anything.

Jane: Wow, you think he's softening a bit?

Daria: Maybe. (beat) So anyway, After the blocking, O'Neill had us do some "Trust Building" exercises. It's self-esteem class all over again.

Jane: And thank god I'm not directly involved in this.

Daria: Don't start.

Jane: So, what's planned for today?

Daria: More of the same, probably.

Jane: Well, if all else fails. Remember. You know where they keep the power tools.

Daria: Don't tempt me.

Scene IX: The Theatre

The Cast (minus Quinn, again) is standing around. O'Neill and Kolinski are standing centre stage

Music: "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden

O'Neill: Now. Since the essence of cast unity is trust, I thought we'd go into more exercises to better develop that trust. So, I want everyone to get into pairs for this.

Everyone gets into pairs. Darren and Kevin, Damien and Mack, Daria and Miranda. Miranda has a "Why do I have to do this" look on her face

O'Neill: Then, I want you to close your eyes, say "I trust you completely", cross your arms, then fall back into the other person. And the other person will catch you and show you ultimate trust.

Darren: Strange, I thought "ultimate trust" would be much deeper.

Mack smirks, then gets into position

Mack: I know you can't hear me, But I want you to know that I trust you completely.

He leans back and is caught by Damien. So far so good

Daria: (Completely deadpan) I trust you.

Miranda: (faux offended) Oh, c'mon. At least say it like you mean it?

Daria falls back.

Darren: (half-heartedly) I trust you.

Kevin gets ready and Darren leans back. As Darren is falling, we hear Jamie offscreen

Jamie: Hey Kevin, Check this out

Kevin looks offscreen

Kevin: Whoa! Cool

Kevin goes offcamera, forgetting that Darren is still falling. Darren hits the ground with a loud smack.

CUT TO: Miranda

Miranda: Um...Kevin? Run!

Kolinski frowns at Kevin. Enter Quinn (finally)

Daria: (deadpan) So, she finally decides to come into work today.

Quinn: God, Daria. Don't you know anything?! I wouldn't be caught dead in some job!

Kolinski: (Sternly, To Quinn) Where the hell have you been the last week?

Quinn: Well, first Sandi made this presentation about baby-tee's going out of style, since everyone seems to be wearing them now, then she started looking at me, then...

Kolinski: (Irritated) I mean, Why haven't you been to rehearsal lately?

Quinn: That's what I've been trying to tell you, duh!

Kolinski: Quinn, I'm not bullshiting around about this. Do you want to get cut? 'Cause I will do it if I have to.

Quinn: You can't cut me, I'm the star!

Daria: Even though the play is called "Othello"

Kolinski: Quinn, When is your first line?

Quinn tries to think. Kolinski winces

Kolinski: Quinn, What is your first line?

Quinn: Well, you can't expect me to remember everything.

Kolinski: (Under her breath) Yes, I can. (out loud) Quinn, I have a show to run, and I can't do it if some of the actors just don't feel like showing up. By signing up for this, you should have an obligation to at least try to make it.

Quinn: Well, You would probably expect me to be here, but you're not as popular as I am. We're very busy.

Kolinski: (In an "I'm not buying it" face) How?

Quinn: Well, first I had to try to figure out how to accessorize my new pumps that I got for my date Thursday when the only thing I have that will go with them is the purse I used on my date Wednesday of course I could just forget the purse and where my new blazer top with the cute frill but it doesn't really go with the shoes I could wear and they don't really match Carls' eyes anyway... (Authors note: Thanks Renfield)

Kolinski: (Wincing) Quinn. I only cut people as a last resort. I haven't given up on you yet.

Daria: Give her time, Diane.

Kolinski: All I'm asking is that you come at least a little prepared. Now, Can you promise me that you'll at least try to make it tomorrow night?

Quinn: I can't. I'm going out with Matt.

Kolinski glares at her

Quinn: What? Have you seen the size of his house?!

Kolinski buries her face in her hands and groans

Kolinski: Quinn, Don't make me give up on you. At least try to be a bit more enthusiastic about this.

Quinn: (flippant) Whatever.

She leaves. Kolinski glares at her.

Kolinski: Alright, That's it. I've had enough of this. (To the rest of the cast) Who's her understudy?

Darren: Lynne Giles, but she quit last week.

Kolinski: Really? (muttering) shit. (To the rest of the cast) Is there anyone who can play Desdemona?!

The cast sits there, blank faced. Finally, Damien raises his hand

Damien: Well, What about that one girl who was auditioning with Quinn. I mean, I didn't get to hear her, but her facial expressions alone would be enough, I think.

Miranda: Oh, yeah. I remember that. She really had the acting down too. I think she'd be perfect.

Kolinski: Do you know where she is?

Darren: I think she's making up a test for DeMartino.

Kolinski: Find her. I don't care what it takes, find her.

Darren, Damien, and Miranda nod and exit. Daria turns to Jane, who's sitting beside her.

Daria: What were they talking about?

CUT TO: Stacy, who is sitting, alone, at her locker. Darren's and Damien's bodies enter the shot, between Stacy

Darren: Hey, Stacy?

Stacy: (Scared) Um...yeah?

Darren: We need you to do us a huge favour.

CUT TO: EXT: Lawndale High. Stacy screams

Fade out to a black screen. White writing reads...

(Don't you hate it when they say) TO BE CONTINUED.....

Roll Credits

FINALLY! IT'S DONE! This one seemed to take forever (Well, four and a half months anyway

Anyway. Here are the...


The Opening Sequence: You may notice that these are slightly modified from the teasers for "Why Don't You Get A Job." I came up with a few more ideas for future stories (Most of them non-othello related)

Stacy's Dream: I got the idea for this from the old Fashion Club site at MTV's old Daria site. Appearantly, Stacy has this reoccuring nightmare of Sandi chasing her with a bloody chainsaw. This is my interpretation of how the dream might have happened

Music: "Crash (Into Me)" by The Gufs (You've probably never heard of them) The Gufs are a band from Milwaukee. They're sort of like Matchbox Twenty, but the Gufs have been around longer. Click Here for more information

Quinn Oh c'mon Tiffany. If I had a loser brother or sister, (immediately corrects) and I'm not saying I do,The last thing I'd do is admit it!: Just for those who don't know. Quinn would rather die than admit that She and Daria are related. Quinn usually passes Daria off as her "cousin, or whatever"

Mack: I don't understand it, From what I heard, she was pretty good last time: By "last time" I'm refering to the Canterbury Tales from the episode "Fair Enough" where Quinn was the ingenue (female lead) One of the initial problems with writing this fic was that she was pretty good in terms of practicing and memorizing and such, but her being bad was sort of crucial to my series. Oh well

Darren: Ea, mu prakao levi po kintaa na le nerfucdei.("I suggest that we continue this conversation tomorrow"): Now, I know you're asking "What language is that?" It's a language called Loglan which was a language constructed in the fifties in order to test something called the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, which states that the boundries of a language determine the intellectual capibilities of the native speakers. In this case, it was just obsure enough to be diffucult to translate. Basically, Darren is just trying to push Ms. Li's buttons

We see Darren, who was standing behind her, watching the whole thing. He gets a "You really don't get it, do you?" face.: One of my initial beta readers was wondering about that. Basically, Darren's just saying "How does someone that paranoid get to be put in charge of a high school?"

O'Neill is sitting on his desk, looking into a hand mirror.: O'Neill usually does this, in order to "practice" a conversation before trying to engage the actual person. It's kind of funny to watch, actually

Diane Kolinksi: based on a melange of the various drama teachers I've had in my life. In particular, she's based on a guy named Ron Parker, who directed this version of Othello that I was in. Kolinski will be the last new character that I'll introduce for a major role. I promise (The only other characters I'll introduce are Damien's old partner in crime, and most of the rest of the Kinsington family)

Kolinski: (dead serious) Guys, listen to him! In my opinion, O'Neill is actually not that incompetant a director. He only might seem that way because he seems to have very little ability to inspire (or, for that matter, control) his students. I'll reveal O'Neill's competence later on in the series

The Football vs Soccer arguement The idea for this exchange was written mostly by Steven Galloway (To which I would like to extend a big THANK YOU!) I changed the wording a bit, though

Music: Deep Deep Down by (?) I heard this song on an internet broadcast from England. I don't know who sings it, though Anyone know?

Darren: Oh, no. If you don't know what you're doing, it's like trying to head a bowling ball. That's actually very true.

Music: "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden: Just to clarify for the last time, (since my beta readers pointed seemed to express their dismay at my inclusion of this song) I CHOSE THAT SONG BECAUSE, IN MY MIND, IT FIT THE SCENE! I AM NOT A BIG FAN OF SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!

Thank you for your time

The "Trust Building" excersizes Did anyone else have to do this kind of thing in theatre class? I remember having to do the one where the rest of the group tries to lift you over the head. (They almost dropped me too)

Daria: (deadpan) So, she finally decides to come into work today This is the opening line to the musical "Little Shop Of Horrors" So I guess you could call this a reference

Quinn: Well, First Sandi Made this presentation about baby-tee's going out of style, since everyone seems to be wearing them now, then She started looking at me, then... Quinn used to wear a baby tee in the first through third season of Daria. And I figured Sandi would use ANY excuse to crucify Quinn for whatever reason

Kolinski: Quinn, When is your first line? In case you were wondering, Desdemona first appears in Act I Scene III

Quinn: What? Have you seen the size of his house?! Hey, she postponed a babysitting job to go out with Skylar Feldman because his parents had a boat (and she didn't want to spend the summer on some public beach

Stacy as Desdemona: Alright, I know that this is cliché, but the reason for picking Stacy had nothing to do with pity for her. The main reason is that (in my mind, anyway) She is just perfect for the role. I promise, I'll try to stay away from the "standard" Stacy leaves the fashion club plot. (You know, the one where Daria and Jane just sit her down, talk to her for a couple hours, and suddenly, she's deprogrammed)

End of File

Oh, hell