HEY DARIA!

written by Warpedkjh13
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This fan fiction is a sequel to my first, second and third Daria fan fictions, Daria's Run, Beavis, Butt-Head and... Upchuck, and The Search For Jesse. It is focused on the school fair in which Daria's Run, B,B&U and D3:TSFJ were told. It also features Beavis and Butt-Head and the characters from Hey Arnold. By the time I've finished all of these, it'll be Christmas! Agh!
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SCENE ONE: BAND STAGE

MS. LI: And now, the musical talent of P.S. 118, from somewhere near New York.

(There is a very feeble clap from the audience. The characters from Hey Arnold start singing a poor rendition of the Daria theme.)

HELGA: Criminy! This song sucks big time.

GERALD: Where are we anyway?

ARNOLD: I don't know and I don't want to know.

DARIA: Strange little kids.

JANE: They sort of look like the people in my painting "People With Misshaped Heads".

ARNOLD: Hey, look at all the girls out there. (looks at Brittany) Look at the blonde!

GERALD (focusing on Jodie): I've found my share of the action.

(Helga turns red.)

ARNOLD (spots Kevin): Aww.

GERALD (spots Mack): Aww.

DARIA: This is going to be a long day.

HELGA: That's it, I'm moving out.

GERALD: Same here. I'm a ladies man and I want to meet some ladies.

JANE: Well, jeez, kid. I think Wingus, Dingus and Slingus have them all covered.

BEAVIS/CORNHOLIO (O.C.): Are you threatening me? Corrrrrnnhooooolio!

(Hey Arnold credits play, shortly followed by the Daria credits.)

MS. LI: Ah, kids. These are Daria, Jane and... Trent?

TOM: It's Tom.

MS. LI: Ah yes. Anyway, the assigned guide for these children is... um... busy-

UPCHUCK (O.C.): Heh heh. Cornhole.

MS. LI: So I'm handing custody to you.

DARIA: Oh great.

HELGA: Stop your whinging! Daria and Jane look cool and pretty damn popular if you ask me!

(Daria and Jane look at each other doubtfully.)

ARNOLD: Yeah, I guess you aren't that bad.

JANE: So kiddies, what are your names.

GERALD: I'm Gerald Johannsen, this is Helga Pataki, and this is Arnold-

TOM: I'm hungry.

DARIA: Yeah, me too. Hey kids, how about we go get something to eat and watch some idiots play football?

ARNOLD: Sounds great.

HELGA (thought): Oh, Arnold... Arnold... my love... shut up! Damn raging hormones!

GERALD: Yeah, why not?

HELGA: It's okay by me.

JANE: I like idiocy.

DARIA: These kids are cool.

TOM: Hi kids, I'm Tom Sloane. This is Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane.

GERALD: Are you two going out?

DARIA: Don't ask stupid questions and I won't give stupid answers.

GERALD: Sorry.

DARIA: Look. There's a TV over there. Watch it. You can watch your cartoons that are filled with mindless violence.

JANE: Daria!

DARIA: Okay, come with me.

TOM: What do you want to eat?

HELGA: Cotton candy! Yum!

(They bump into Tad and Tricia.)

TAD: Daria!

TRICIA: How are you?

DARIA: Are you lost again? I don't remember seeing any windmills around here. [1]

TAD: No, we're cool.

TRICIA: We want candy!

DARIA: You told me candy was poison.

TAD: There are liars in the world.

JANE: I'm glad to see you've made a permanent mark on these impressionable kids.

COMMERCIAL BREAK 1: DARIA RUNNING INTO TAD AND TRICIA

SCENE TWO: COTTON CANDY STALL

BGM: ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTA - ABOVE THE CLOUDS

(Monique walks up to them.)

MONIQUE: Hey Daria.

DARIA: Hey Monique. How's Trent?

MONIQUE: He's resting after his big concert.

(Focus on Trent, sleeping while standing backstage.)

JANE: Good concert by the way.

MONIQUE: I know. Word says there is a record producer looking for Trent. Better go wake him.

JANE: You know the drill.

MONIQUE: I sure do. See you.

DARIA: See you.

(Monique walks off.)

MONIQUE (O.C.): Trent! Jesse smashed your guitar!

JANE: She's so inventive.

ARNOLD: Is Trent that guy who was playing before us?

DARIA: Yeah.

GERALD: He's cool.

JANE: You have no idea.

SCENE THREE: BACKSTAGE

RECORD PRODUCER: I like your sound.

TRENT: It wasn't our song.

RECORD PRODUCER: It doesn't matter. You can be the first band on our label, Mixtown Records [2].

JESSE: Okay.

TRENT: We accept.

(The band rejoice.)

RECORD PRODUCER: Cool. I'll be seeing you tomorrow afternoon then?

TRENT: Well, yeah!

DARIA: Hey Trent.

TRENT: Daria, we're making an album.

(Trent runs up and hugs her, and Daria gives an unmistakable blush.)

JANE: Ha!

DARIA: Oh, shut up.
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END CREDITS MUSIC: Set Me Free - The Sweet

Alter Egos

Daria:
Aunt Amy
Marge Simpson

Tom:
Jack Torrance (from The Shining)
Hannibal Lecter

Jane:
Van Gogh (I know, I used it before, I just like it)
A very shoddy imitation of Brittany

Monique - Liza Minelli
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FOOTNOTES (I hate footnotes, I'm sorry I had to do them)

[1] - Tad got lost when he saw some windmills in a window in "I Loathe A Parade"

[2] - I don't know whether Mixtown Records really exists or not, so please don't e-mail me saying CHANGE THAT LABEL NAME because it was an honest mistake.
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NOTES:

I would really appreciate some appreciative criticism, don't just tell me I suck bigtime. I really don't want to hear it. Arnold and the gang will be in the final episode, then I shall go on to single stories. The things Mystik Spiral go through to make the album will be a story, as will another aunt story. I think that Aunt Amy needs more recognition. By the way, another great Daria fanfic is Heroes by Lew Richardson and it made me realize that Monique was better as a good character, unlike her portrayal in Diane Long's Undone. LONG NOTES! WHEW!
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THE END

All rights belong to MTV and Nickelodeon. Pretty please dont sue, I'm only borrowing!