Constraints: Follows
'Living Dead Girls 5: Twister Harvest'
Synopsis: Jane's mom
prepares for the birth of her grandchild, and Daria tries to hit Upchuck's
angels.
Living Dead Girls 6: Denial And
Deniability.
Content: Some violence,
some swearing, some sexual content.
Legal: Daria belongs to
MTV, Angel/Buffy belongs to mutant enemy, Ultimate Force and The Bill belong to
ITV.
-~-
Part 1
-~-
Daria continued through
the forest listening out for the vampires she had chased into it.
They had been moving quite
fast earlier, but the noise had died down, so she was now moving slow enough to
avoid excessive noise.
She wasn't hearing any
movement around her.
She had a stake in the
hand under her weapon's forearm, that way, if it came to an ambush, she would be
better prepared.
It wasn't an easy thing
to decide. On the one hand, you want to eliminate as many vampires as possible,
as each vampire loose will be tens to hundreds of people dead, some of which
will be turned. But if you die in the process of attempting to kill them, your
ability to kill any more is severely compromised.
She heard a noise off
to her two o'clock vector. She listened for half a second, then ran after it,
readying herself whenever she approached a tree like-
A hand shot out, she
brought the gun around, using the time to confirm it was a vampire, which it
was, she stabbed it immediately and spun around looking for more. She felt
someone step on the back of her knee, definitely hostile, she discharged her
USAS12 over her shoulder. She obviously wasn't close, because she felt an arm
encircle her neck in a reverse headlock.
She tried to stab the
vampire, but her hand was caught, and a knee strike to her back caused her to
drop her gun.
"Hey Daria," said
Sandi, as she looked back at Daria's face over her shoulder.
"Sandi, I don't recall
anyone turning you," said Daria.
"Yeah, but you did get
me killed, you stupid geek!"
Suddenly Sandi cried
out and disintegrated.
Daria fell with the
dust, and looked up at her savior.
"Thanks
"No, thank you," she
said, as she stepped over Daria, and drove her foot into her face.
-~-
Daria realized she had
been dreaming as she woke up with a start.
She saw it was 05:38 on
a Monday.
"No other way to start
the day, for me anyway," she said as she turned off the clock (no point going
back to sleep now, is there?) and headed off to the shower to clean up.
-~-
Quinn got downstairs
and got out some carrot sticks to eat as Daria finished her own breakfast.
"Ready for school
Quinn?" asked Daria.
"Uh-huh," said Quinn.
Quinn was dressed in
forest DPM
trousers and a brown tee-shirt.
This was a radical
break from her usual mode of dress for the past three or four years.
"Look like you're ready
for war."
"That's school for you,
anyway, that's the look we're all going with," said Quinn.
Quinn then remembered
and said "The look we're both going with," as she sat down, looking like she
felt really stupid.
"Phantom best friend syndrome?"
asked Daria.
"Not funny," said
Quinn.
"Wasn't meant to be."
"We saw her die, I know
full well she's dead, her fucking funeral is next weekend, why do I keep
forgetting that?"
"Because she was such a
close friend to you that you almost reflexively include her in your daily
plans? I ended up doing something similar when Jane had to leave," said Daria.
"Except you knew Jane
was alright."
"Actually, I hoped she
was alright, I didn't know for two weeks."
"You think it would
have been easier to know if she was dead?"
"No, but that was
pretty bad, it was basically the state you were in when Kirsty started pouring
that drain cleaner down Sandi's throat."
Quinn thought about it,
and said "Okay, that was worse."
"You know what's
worse?"
"I probably don't want
to, but what?"
"Stacy Rowe, I know
she's dead. When
"Yeah, Brie Stacy, with
penicillin for that extra tangy flavour."
"Well ... yeah," said
Daria, deciding not to correct Quinn on the identification of the cheeses.
They eventually got
around to departing.
Until Daria opened the
front door.
"Tom," exclaimed Daria.
Tom, looking startled,
eventually lowered his hand from where it was about to knock the door.
"Hey Daria, I was
hoping we could talk."
Daria nodded, and said
"Sure, I'll just get Quinn off to school, and ... complete my shift ... How would
tonight sound?" asked Daria.
"Good, ah, I'll pick a
restaurant, and reserve a table."
"That ... ... I have no
idea what might happen at work," said Daria.
"Okay, is there any
chance of you getting any kind of leave?" asked Tom.
"Erm ... Look, I'll call
you tonight if I can do anything. Otherwise, I'm sorry if I can't."
Tom looked frustrated
for a time, then said "Fine," as he walked off.
"Could have gone
better," said Daria as Tom left earshot.
"You really need to
learn a thing or three about boys," said Quinn.
"So you keep saying,
come on."
-~-
Kevin sat up and realized
something.
"I gotta get to
school."
"I wouldn't," said
Barry.
"Why?" Asked Kevin.
Barry had met this guy
last night, and was hoping he could help him.
He was looking for this
Asian girl he had previously had sex with, he couldn't remember her name, but
had reason to believe she had gone to a local school here.
Just about every kid he
had sired had trouble helping him narrow it down.
"Because the sun's up,"
said Barry.
"How's that a problem?"
asked Kevin.
-~-
Quinn met Tiffany
outside the school, Tiffany was dressed in a winter forest DPM tracksuit.
"Quinn."
"Tiffany."
They walked into
school, Quinn asked "have you been able to do any school work?"
"Yeah, wasn't much else
to do while I was recovering and then hiding out."
"And I've been having
trouble with my studies due to the nightmares from ... ... anyway, I guess we
should get to class."
"Not so fast girls,"
said the principal from behind them.
Quinn and Tiffany
stopped and looked at Angela.
"Your parents should
have been made aware that we will be taking measures to enforce moral codes on
things such as manner of dress and possession of satanic, blasphemous or
obscene items from now on."
"What?" asked Quinn.
"When did this happen?"
asked Tiffany.
"After a long debate
following a series of cataclysmic, one might say, apocalyptic events, it was
decided that God really is mad at us."
Quinn and Tiffany
groaned in disbelief saying "Aww I don't believe this!"
"Well believe it, and
you had better start showing some respect for authority, open your bags, now."
-~-
"Hey Daria," greeted
Jane as they entered the building.
"Jane," acknowledged
Daria.
"We're ready to do that
spell seeing spell."
"Sweet," said Daria.
"Donald got on our
asses over the fact we're using it to try to gather intelligence on my kid,"
said Jane.
"Did he accept that it
could be useful for looking for Upchuck?" asked Daria.
"Yep. But, if he's not
using magic for any of this, how can he accidentally hide from us?"
-~-
They were halfway
through their session on the firing range.
The entire troop was
starting to seriously develop their skills,
They were starting to
approach thirty newtons in strength.
That could accelerate a
three gram throwing star to mach one in 37.3 milliseconds, or seven metres
(Yeah, "Oi! You: Enemy, get further back so I can
kill you with my thought accelerated projectiles.") and a knife weighing eighty
gram would need almost a second, one eight five metres ("No, further back, not
closer, what the fuck kind of enemy are you? Fuck's sake.").
She wanted to get that
down to as short a distance as possible. The goal was mach one in half a metre,
an acceleration of 139129m/s2 would be needed. For the knife, that's
around eleven kilonewtons, or just over a ton in Earth's surface gravity.
Okay, that was
unrealistic, but any advantage you can get in a fight will improve your
survival probability.
Of course, throwing
stars only require four one seven newtons, around forty kilogram in Earth's
surface gravity.
That was more
realistic, and considering the increase in the number of projectiles a person
can carry, this would do.
As soldiers, they were
used to thinking about where their shots would go, correcting for badly set
sights, that actually helped.
Everyone stopped.
Willow printed off the
data she had been recording "Alright, I'm pleased to report that your accuracy
has improved another 5%, and your velocity has increased 10%, but I would like
you all to keep working," said Willow.
"Right, to eleven
kilonewtons, no sweat," said Ed.
"Oh we'll get there,"
said Henno. He then continued "However, I would like to start using this in war
games training, start getting everyone used to employing this new technique
under battle conditions."
This caused a number of
groans.
Rebecca giving Willow a
rather interesting look as she left.
'Nah, she wasn't ... was
she?'
That would probably not
be the best kind of relationship to get into, even if
She got halfway down
the corridor when she felt her panties ride up into her crack.
She put her hand in her
pocket to try to correct the problem, but her efforts only seemed to cause the
panties to saw against her clit.
She was bent over
picking them up when she noticed movement behind her.
It was Rebecca walking
off in the opposite direction.
-~-
"Okay, we're ready to
go," said Amanda.
"Right," said Daria.
"So we just sit in our circles and meditate?"
asked Jane.
"Yep," said Daria as
she sat down in her circle.
"All righty then," said Jane as she sat in her circle.
They sat there, waiting
for the spell to take effect.
-~-
Quinn and Tiffany met
outside school dressed according to the school's new uniform code.
"Quinn."
"Tiffany."
"Take two."
"Action."
They looked a couple of
Victorian hats away from looking like Quaker girls.
The boys hadn't been
affected by the uniform code.
Quinn wondered how this
would affect the cheerleaders.
"Probably a good thing
Daria's graduated, I can't really picture her standing for any of this," said
Quinn.
"Or Jane," said
Tiffany, "I can't believe everyone's going along with this shit, dress code had
nothing to do with any of this."
"Yeah, and it's not
like this shit doesn't go on all the time around the world," said Quinn.
"'Cept for the nuke,
sort of resembles the wrath of god, dunnit?"
"Stupid impressionable
frightened villagers," said Quinn.
They entered class, and
stopped.
"You're late," said
their new science teacher.
Quinn glanced at the
rest of the class, and after briefly establishing it was their class, she said
"Sorry about that, where's Barch?"
"That feminazi quit
when we instituted a more wholesome curriculum, I'm Jeffery Presley, and you
two have detention for tardiness."
Quinn was about to
protest this, but said "Fine," as she and Tiffany made their way to their
seats.
"New curriculum?"
whispered Tiffany.
"Bad feeling here,"
replied Quinn.
Soon as the two girls
were seated, the teacher continued what he was saying: "Now, today's
experiments will focus on how matter has been organized in a manner that cannot
possibly be an accident. We will be growing crystals in order to demonstrate
their orderliness, to dispel any concept of randomness in the way these things
work."
Four loud snaps sounded
and everyone looked at Tiffany.
"Sorry about that," she
said, as she dropped the sixteen fragments of the pencil she had snapped into
her pencil case and got a new one out, saying "please continue."
-~-
Daria's eyes suddenly
opened, and she found her vision was altered.
"Trippy," she said.
"Aciiiiiiid,"
commented Jane.
Daria looked at Jane.
Daria stood up and
looked around, everyone seemed to have the ghostly impression of blinkers (as
is used historically to keep horses from looking off to the side) on their
heads.
"Anyone else seeing
blinkers on everyone's heads?" asked Daria.
"Yes," said Amanda.
"What does this mean?
Some sort of memory augmentation?" asked Daria.
"Yeah, one form of
anyway, I mean, the problem with this spell is that there isn't much that can
indicate the type of spell used or whoever caused it, but this is serious. If
our memories have been altered, we need to know the source of this," said
Amanda.
"Okay, what about my
kid?" asked Jane.
"Let's get a sonar on
you before this spell wears off," said Amanda.
-~-
"I don't think I can
take an entire day of this," said Tiffany as they left class.
"Don't really see a
choice," said Quinn, also fuming, "I can't believe those FUCKING ASSHATS! ... Stupid
fucking religious fanatical fucking shitheads!"
"I can't release any of
this, not until I get home, I could demolish a couple of classrooms if I let it
all out now!"
"What's next?" asked
Tiffany.
"History," said Quinn.
"Well, I don't think
there's anything prehistoric in our curriculum, so I can't see Dimartino
walking out over any of this," said Tiffany.
-~-
"And so, when the two
cities failed to heed the warnings, they were severely punished," continued
their new history teacher, Ian Hackett.
Quinn looked worriedly at
Tiffany as she held a pencil, staring straight ahead, obviously doing her best
to ignore her persisting urge to break stuff.
"Can anyone tell me how
Tiffany didn't respond.
"TIFFANY!"
Tiffany looked up, her
trance broken.
"Let me guess, you were
fantasizing over some boy ... or even some girl ... Can you tell me, what
"He said, 'Sorry dudes,
wrong city, Tokyo three's
that way,'" pointing off in a random direction.
A number of students
laughed at this, understanding the reference.
"I'm sure you think
you're clever, but unless you can tell me what
"Okay, he said, 'In the
name of my lord and savior Brian,
I cast thee out!'"
"RIGHT, DETENTION, TWO
WEEKS."
"Fuck that," said
Tiffany, rising from her desk, she then picked up her desk and used it to
demolish the cabinets lining the side of the room, causing most the other
students to recoil away in alarm.
She then approached the
teacher's desk and started punching holes in it.
The cowering teacher
looked at her with a less authoritive, more shit scared expression on his face.
"I think I'll drop
out."
-~-
"Okay, we're now
certain Upchuck's not using any active magics to disguise his location, then ...
what? ... " asked Daria.
"What about wood?" asked
Jane.
"Some mystical shape?"
offered Spike.
"Perhaps Mr. Ruttheimer
used a structural material that happens to be a mystical shield," suggested
"Okay, we're finding
guns made of diamond on the streets. We're reasonably certain Upchuck's using
diamond for most his machinery, and the last times we tracked his agents, they
went out to sea. Which makes sense if you're hiding from conventional forces ...
He also wants to build structures on the sea floor quickly, so he doesn't want
to be filtering plankton for their carbon, he wants something more concentrated.
What is there?" asked Daria.
"Silica?" asked Jane.
"Brittle, takes ages to
cool if you don't want it shattering," said Daria.
"Steel?" asked Spike,
adding "Gotta be tons of the stuff from World War Two."
"Carbon Steel? A
mixture of carbon and iron?" asked
"Yeah, you'd need to
process it though. Aside from the quality of the plate they used in those
ships, there's over half a century of corrosion, but that would probably be the
easiest way to build something," said Daria.
"What kind of process?"
asked
"Electrolysis I'd imagine,
he'd also want to clean it up, he'd probably oxidize it to scrub
the metal of contaminants, then electrolise it."
"That would remove all
the carbon, producing ferrite!" said Amanda, suddenly realizing something.
"That's significant, is
it?" asked Daria.
"Pure iron is a
mystical barrier, if a person is surrounded by it, they will be invisible to
locator spells," said
"This means, of course,
that he's got a shit load of oxygen that needs dumping," said Daria.
Jane, Spike and Amanda
looked lost.
"Which will increase
the activity of animal type plankton, creating an imbalance," explained Daria.
"Erm, I don't have any
spells that will contour concentrations in the manner you're thinking of," said
Amanda.
"That's not a problem,
I'll get onto NASA. Meanwhile Amanda, I want our memories restored," said Daria
as she left the room.
"You're welcome,"
muttered Amanda.
-~-
"What mass are we
looking for?" asked Robodaria.
"Okay, well, Upchuck
would probably be thinking ahead. The minimum, I think would be a dome five
hundred metres wide, fifty metres high."
"Iron has a failure
stress of three fifty megapascals, the dome would have to contain around thirty
two point seven million cubic metres of air. Unless he wants to squash the
height to around fifty metres, could fuse a torus with a dome, around ninety
nine million cubic metres. That's approximately nine seventy one giganewtons of
force to restrain, two seven seven four square metres.
He's going to need a wall at least one point seven five nine eight metres
thick, giving us at least eighty billion tons of iron. That's approximately thirty
four point three seven eight billion tons of oxygen possibly."
"That should do
something, right?" asked Daria.
"If he's stupid enough
to simply dump the oxygen as he's producing it? Gonna look like someone dropped
a supertanker load of sulphuric acid."
-~-
She was also planning
the war games as Henno had suggested.
She started to notice
her breasts felt like they weren't that well positioned, like they were being ...
twisted?
She had no choice but
to stick a hand in through her shirt to put the fugitive gland back in its
place.
It was at this point
that she felt her clit being pinched as if by magic.
She gasped suddenly
aware of everyone staring at her.
She blushed as she
considered what it looked like she was doing, but she calmly restored her
underwear, and looked at Rebecca, who was apparently not paying any attention
to her.
Except for a smile she
decided to send her way.
-~-
"Got it, seventy two
degrees thirty two minutes west, thirty seven degrees twelve minutes north, big
ass void of all life."
Daria nodded and said
"Okay, I'd like to gather more information before doing anything, are there any
others?"
"Not as far as I can
tell," said Robodaria, she then said "it's actually creating a trail of
destruction, Upchuck must be building an entire city."
"Do any ASW planes patrol that area?" asked
Daria.
"Checking ... no."
"Magnetic anomaly
detectors have been known to the public for ages now, I want a sub hunter
to overfly the area. I also want enough ships in the
area to pick up any movement, but they must have an excuse to be there, can you
plan that?"
"Is Jerry Falwell a cunt?"
-~-
"You want two subs to
sit near these co-ordinates, and you then want us to recall a large portion of
our navy to the whole area gets covered," said Donald.
"I also want to get
some British ships in the area for upgrades so that the north won't look as
suspicious," said Robodaria.
"We should also
discretely reduce the crew to a skeleton. This is seriously high risk, every
contact with these people so far, we got our asses kicked," said Daria.
"We also have to assume
that they are listening to all our satellite communications, someone's going to
have to fly out to those ships and brief them as they move."
"We need to set up the
submarine cluster so that they think we are not looking at the void."
"We'll dispatch the
submarines on the ELF
make a big ring centered well south of the co-ordinates, and I'll have someone
sent to the ships with the mission details, do that before the recall so we
don't spook the Borg," said Donald
"Alright then," said
Daria.
"Looks like your people
are finally doing something useful," said Donald.
"Aww shucks, it was
nothing," said Daria.
"We'll get back to work
now," said Robodaria.
-~-
"Hey Daria," said Jane
as she and Spike met Daria and Robodaria in the corridor.
"Hey Jane, how'd it go
with the spell search?"
"We got a location for
the spell caster, we're going to go to LA to find the source. Amanda's made a
compass, we're going to requisition a jet to fly over there so Amanda is ready
for a fight," said Jane.
"Sweet. But, what
memory spell?" asked Daria.
Jane let out a laugh,
then said "we'll find out soon, I hope."
"Okay then, be lucky."
"You too," said Jane.
-~-
"What's up?" asked Gina
as she and
"Oh ... Okay, what you
gonna do about it?"
"Gonna do a spell
seeing spell to try to catch whoever's doing it in the act, then do something
horrible to them."
"Can I help?"
-~-
"Tom, you're taking
Daria out tonight?"
"I'd better be, the
restaurant doesn't refund on cancellation," said Tom as he considered which tie
to wear with his suit.
"I thought you were
allergic to suits AND fancy restaurants," said Angier, fascinated to see his
son dressing in smart casual of his own volition.
"Yeah, but, I feel like
a change of approach. Haven't been able to talk to her in like, eight months
now, so I'm going to want to spend the night talking to her."
After a little thought,
Angier suggested "Maybe a couple of gifts to win her heart?"
"Oh, yeah, I got her
the complete works of H.G. Wells," said Tom.
"Books?" asked Angier.
"She's a bookworm,"
said Tom.
"Okay ... I went ahead
and bought something for her," said Angier.
Tom turned to him
looking skeptical about what his dad had for Daria.
Angier produced a
velvet covered box and opened it, saying "Maybe she'd appreciate a piece of
jewelry, even a bookworm has got to have some normal urges."
Tom looked at the
emerald encrusted gold watch.
"Couldn't hurt. Thanks
dad."
-~-
"Tiffany, whatever
happened at school, surely you can't think it's an excuse for, well, smashing
the place up like that, can you?" asked her dad.
Tiffany ran her fingers
through her hair as she paced and said "I know, shouldn't have happened that
way, should have just walked out and found something else to trash. ... You know
those re-education camps certain countries are famous for? That's what it felt
like, science teacher was ending each sentence with 'proving God's hand in the
shaping of the universe'. And the history teacher was quizzing us on the
fucking bible, I mean, I'm no brain, but isn't that what the First Amendment
was supposed to ban?"
"It is, state can't
take sides in matters of religious expression," said Daria. she then continued
saying "I was hoping to get my mom's law firm on side to challenge it, but they
were on the side of the evangelicals. ACLU got picketed for trying to get the
laws repealed, there were even spells cast to make everyone think that all the
local ACLU representatives were a pedophile ring. Got those undone, but guess
who cast those spells?"
"Who?" asked Tiffany.
"Give you a hint,
they're multidimensional and seem to have their fingers in every pie, crooked
or otherwise."
"Aww, those rat motherfuckers," said Tiffany.
"Who?" asked Mr.
Deckler.
Daria made a 'Shh' gesture and looked around the house saying "they're
classified, more than the usual stuff."
"But, they're evil,"
said Tiffany.
"So's just about anyone
who wanted to rule a fascistic regime," said Daria.
"We'd better get
looking for an agnostic school, now that all the public schools are now
officially Christian. Oh, eventually found the letter from school and from the
PTA, haven't exactly been high functioning since that little APOCALYPSE we
seemed to have had," said Mr. Deckler.
Daria glanced at her
watch and said "I'd better get on, meeting Tom in half an hour, kind of owe him
for disappearing off the face of the earth with barely a 'sorry, can't talk' I
didn't get around to saying."
"Good luck with that,"
said Tiffany.
-~-
Tom showed up at the
Morgendorffer house with the book he selected for Daria, the Watch his dad had
selected for Daria, the flowers his mom had selected for Daria, the aftershave
Elsie had selected for Daria (Which made him smell like a girl, this aroused
him. He wondered belatedly if Elsie was having a laugh, and then wondered how
he became so naïve as to trust Elsie not to hit him with a prank.)
This would be tense. He
wanted to win her back, but a lot of the stuff he was bringing was so over the
top he wondered if he would instead end up driving her off screaming
'Psychotic, girlfriend-strangling stalker'.
Of course the way her
life had gone: Getting busted, getting sent down, then getting some shadowy
government job, that probably wouldn't be as much of a concern for her.
He had also seen Jane
on TV, helping Tiffany and some British guy rescue the
Seeing Jane in all that
gear, camouflage face paint, leaf cape, silenced MP5, a bow and quiver full of
fucking arrows ...
He wanted to know what
the fuck was happening to his two favorite girls.
He knocked on the door
and waited.
Quinn answered the door
and said "five minutes," before closing the door again and running back
upstairs.
"No, that's fine, I'll
wait outside," he said.
-~-
"Tom?" asked Daria.
"Yep, stay still," as
Quinn returned to her position behind Daria, where she was working on Daria's
makeup.
Since Daria and Quinn
hadn't asked Tom what he'd be wearing, it was essential that Quinn configured
Daria so her look would match as wider range of partner styles as possible.
Tom was dressed in a
black suit, red shirt, and silver tie. Daria was already wearing a purple dress
with black tights and black low heels, her hair was now in a pair of purple
hairclips and a purple scrunchie, this would go with a grey jacket.
Quinn was just
finishing up the mascara on Daria's eyes and after one last look, she said
"Perfect."
"Okay."
"Better than that new
outfit you seem to like, makes you look like a fucking spook."
"Quinn, I am a spook."
"Yeah, but even then
you're not supposed to look like one," said Quinn.
"Okay," said Daria as
she put her keys and wallet in one of her dress pockets, and her cell phone in
the other. She then picked up the envelope she had brought home with her headed
down.
-~-
Tom turned when he
heard the door open and saw Daria and Quinn standing there.
"Why did you leave him
out here?" asked Daria.
Quinn looked
embarrassed.
"You've got a lot to
learn about guys, Quinn," said Daria as she stepped out, asking "Your ride or
mine?"
"Mine," said Tom.
He led Daria to his
car, which was now looking extremely flash. Blue metallic paint, lifting doors,
and from what Daria could see of the interior, it too was now looking flash.
"Parents got MTV to
pimp my ride," explained Tom.
"Ah," said Daria.
-~-
Jane and Spike sat down
next to Amanda in the plane and the pilot immediately proceeded to start the
engines and request departure clearance.
"Gunn will meet us in
"Right, you've worked
with him before, right?" asked Jane.
"Yeah, good man, aside
from his involvement in the situation with
"How was he involved?"
"He signed a release
paper to get her sarcophagus through customs in order to make the mental
upgrade permanent, got addicted to being a skilled lawyer. It was lucky
Winifred hadn't been infected, but he still felt pretty bad about it."
"Yeah, well, Stacy DID
get infected, so he DOES have something to feel bad about. You said an upgrade,
from what?"
"He used to head this
gang that patrolled LA hunting vampires. Initially for self defence, but they
then got genocidal, had a falling out with him and Angels crew. This was, of
course, long before Angel's group took the management jobs at Wolfram And Hart
LA. And ever since, he's been half and half vampire hunting and soliciting,
mostly helping overturn wrongful convictions for capitol crimes or fighting
censorship."
"Mild mannered lawyer
by day, dark avenger by night," said Jane.
-~-
"A non-disclosure
agreement? What do I need that for?"
They had just arrived
at the restaurant and Daria had finally opened the envelope she had been
carrying.
"Just in case you ask
about work, and you probably will when I start explaining what's been going on
with me over the past half year."
Tom looked at the
document, then he shrugged and signed it.
Daria put it back in
the envelope and Tom asked "So, how've you been?"
"Fighting the forces of
evil, Joined an organization called the Watcher's Council, then that merged
with the NSA and MI6 after that little war that happened shortly after Easter,"
said Daria.
"Watcher's Council ...
What do you watch?"
"Girls," said Daria.
"Girls?" asked Tom,
suddenly questioning Daria's sexuality in his mind, "is this what it so far
sounds like?"
"No ... The girls are
vampire slayers, mystically enhanced girls. It's a long story, but basically,
these girls are employed as soldiers to fight mystical threats such as vampires.
There's a whole load of developments about the Watcher's Council that doesn't
make much sense, it used to be just one girl that was active at any one time,
these powers, enhanced strength, combat macros, the ability to sense vampires. There
was apparently no way to change this, or which of the potential slayers. Only
certain girls can be enhanced in this manner, get activated."
"Okay, now, I know
you've been practicing, but I can't quite tell: Are you joking?"
"No, straight up, check
this:" Daria floated the candle in the middle of the table using telekinesis.
Tom waved his hand
around the candle looking for wires.
He then looked under
the table for signs of any kind of device that could be generating an
alternating magnetic field to induce a current in the candle stand, but found
nothing, he looked around the restaurant for any thing else that could indicate
a technological means to pull this off.
Finally he asked "So,
this isn't a wind up then, you're using actual, honest to god magic?"
"Yeah, took a while to
develop this ability, but I'm able to precisely manipulate objects with my
mind."
"Okay ... So, what caused
you to disappear like that?"
"I was wanted for
involvement in a conspiracy to steal police property, I had to establish a new
alias before I could have my robot self escape."
"Your robot sel- ... When I visited you in prison, you're telling me that
that wasn't you?"
"That's right."
"Okay, I notice you're
using your own name and walking around like a free citizen now, what happened
there?"
"The organization I
work for struck a deal with the
"Doing what?"
"What we were doing
anyway, except we also have to do what they want too. In the
"Okay," said Tom,
trying to absorb all this new information, and also weighing what he's seen and
heard from Daria with what he used to perceive as reality.
-~-
"Jane," whispered
Spike.
"Yes?" whispered Jane.
"Ever done it in an
airplane toilet?" asked Spike.
"Never felt the urge
to, but considering the size of the jet, it would be a touch obvious, don't you
think?"
"Hmm."
Eventually spike said
"Alright, I got nothing."
"What you gonna do, get
her pregnant? I honestly don't care," said Amanda.
The two vampires looked
at the witch, then they got up and went to the aircraft's bog for a bonk.
-~-
"Well, that's about
it," said Daria, rounding off the explanation.
"Wow ... ... I thought it
was drugs that made you run off like that," said Tom.
"Do I look like a
stoner?" asked Daria.
"More like a Tweaker,"
said Tom.
"Cute."
"Erm ... got some presents
for you," said Tom, lacking anything else to say.
"Presents are good,"
said Daria.
"I got you the complete
works of H.G. Wells," he said, as he lifted the parcel he had been carrying
onto the table.
Daria almost smiled as
she said "Excellent."
"A jewel encrusted
watch," said Tom, as he handed her the smaller parcel.
Daria opened it and
looked at it, saying "Keep talking."
Tom chuckled, and said
"And ... A load of flowers," he produced the bundle, saying "seemed like a bad
idea to wrap these up."
"Thank you," said
Daria, as she accepted the flowers, she then said "So, how have you been? Still
going to Bromwell?" using a stereotypical posh accent in pronouncing Bromwell.
"They don't really talk
like that there ... I hope."
-~-
Jane and Spike emerged
from the cubicle adjusting their clothes.
"Why did I think that
would be more fun?" asked Jane.
"All the hype about the
bleeding mile high club," said Spike.
"We'd have to be
pre-teen to do that," said Jane.
"Are we there yet?"
asked Spike.
"No, besides, sun's
still up over there," said Amanda.
"Hmm, why does this
world have to be round again?" asked Jane.
"Stupid gravity,"
commented Spike.
-~-
"So, ever been on
patrol?" asked Chao Ahn.
"We're not really the
patrol type," said Rebecca, as she accompanied Chao on their route to their
sector.
"How was it when you
learned you were a Slayer?"
" ... Strange ...
Apparently me being a potential explains why I joined the army and progressed
to the SAS."
"No sudden relocation
into a strange land by someone who couldn't speak your language who spoke a
language you couldn't understand, that kept giving you ice cream even though
you had made it clear that you were lactose intolerant?"
Rebecca looked at Chao
strangely and finally asked "Wha?"
"Never mind," said
Chao.
"I take it from you
accent you're not from around here?" asked Rebecca.
"
Rebecca chuckled,
saying "My first impression of him was that he was a terrorist, and was
desperately trying to figure out a way to kill him."
Chao looked at her
darkly.
"That sounded much less
disrespectful in my head," commented Rebecca.
"That's still not
funny, I came to respect the man, even grew to like him," said Chao.
"I know, I'm sorry,
didn't mean to-" suddenly she stopped with her fist raised, looking at a couple
of people at the locked gates of the cemetery they were walking near.
They were around a
gentle bend from them, so the people at the gate were unable to see them,
whereas Rebecca and Chao could see their asses.
After they heard a loud
bang, they heard a chain clatter on the ground, and saw them enter the
cemetery. Rebecca waved Chao down as she and Chao dropped to one knee to reduce
their profile over the tombstones.
Rebecca used her hands
to illustrate the formation she wanted them to take around the people, then
waved Chao towards the gate. She then raised herself enough to see where the
intruders were facing, before dropping again and jumping over the spiked bar
fence and landing on all fours on the other side, she then silently moved
between the tombstones.
Chao proceeded as she
guessed Rebecca wanted her to.
The two slayers were
packing bows and arrows, carrying them in standard rifle bags, when Chao was in
formation, Rebecca held her bag up to signal Chao to pull her bow and string
it.
Rebecca pulled her bow
from her bag and pulled at the pulley that would pull the string through the
end of the bow until it latched, as the awkward force vector would defeat a
slayer.
She then slung her
quiver over her shoulder and glanced at Chao, who was showing the tip of her
bow over the headstones signaling she was ready.
Rebecca nodded and
waved her forwards, they tracked the intruders.
They saw the intruders
looking around, but not closely enough to see the slayers.
The intruders grinned,
and started ... spraying?
Four people appeared
around them, and the two intruders stopped what they were doing.
"What'ya
doing?" asked one of the new individuals.
"Looks like we got a
pair of Nazis here," said another.
"Hmm, hang on: Two
Nazis, four undead kikes: I make that, transfusion O'clock, don't you?" said
another, paraphrasing the adverts for Pimm's.
They then vamped out
and grabbed the two Nazis, Rebecca pumped her fist a couple of times before
popping up as she knocked an arrow, drew while picking a vampire, and firing.
Chao shot at about the
same time as Rebecca had, the remaining two paused in their activity as they
tried to locate the people that had caused their mates to turn to dust, that
was the length of time it took for Rebecca and Chao to reload and fire.
The two intruders the
Vampires had identified as Nazis stood there looking between the two slayers,
they then settled on a course of action: Cheese it!
"OI! POLICE! STOP!"
The two slayers located
two police constables tracking outside the fence to the gate, trying to
intercept the Nazis.
Rebecca slung her bow
along with her bag and made a grasping gesture at the Nazis, Chao nodded, and
they each pursued a Nazi.
"Here you go," said
Rebecca as she shoved the Nazi into the arms of the cop that had been after the
one she caught.
"Thanks," said the cop.
"GET OFF ME
CHINK-AAAOOOWWW!"
Rebecca looked amused
at the one Chao had apprehended.
"YOU MIGHT WANT TO BE A
LITTLE MORE POLITE TO MY CO-WORKER THERE, YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL LIVE LONGER FOR
IT," shouted Rebecca.
"Right, now, if I may
ask, what are you two doing here?" asked the cop.
"I can't discuss this,
I'm Rebecca Gallagher, my co-worker is Chao Ahn, run a name check."
The cop finished
cuffing the Nazi and grabbed his radio, saying "Sierra Oscar from 171,
receiving, over?"
"One seven one from
Sierra Oscar, go ahead, over."
"Yeah, can I have a
name check please? Rebecca Gallagher and Chao Ahn, spelt ... " he looked to
Rebecca, directing the Mic at her.
"Charlie Hotel Alpha
Oscar, Alpha Hotel November," said Rebecca.
"Over," finished the
cop.
A few seconds later,
the controller said "One Seven One from Sierra Oscar, the names Rebecca
Gallagher and Chao Ahn are blocked, over."
"Received, out." He
then took the Nazi and said "Come on, you're nicked."
-~-
Tom and Daria arrived
back at the Morgendorffer residence.
"So, I suppose you got
work tomorrow," said Tom.
"Yeah, but why don't
you come in?" asked Daria.
They headed into the
house, Daria placed the books on the sofa and headed to the kitchen saying
"Just going to put the flowers in some water."
Tom waited in the
lounge.
Daria eventually
returned with the flowers in a vase.
"So, can we do this
again, or stay in touch?" asked Tom.
"I'd like that ... As you
know, I'll be keeping crazy hours at unexpectable intervals, but I will try to
keep in touch from now on."
"I really didn't mean
to freak you out, it's just I did wondering what was happening to you."
"I know, I know, but I
haven't really been the best girlfriend in the world, have I?"
"Iiiiii
... suppose not."
"You still got that
condom?"
Tom looked startled.
"No fucking about this
time, I really do owe you, so, if you want me, you're guaranteed me."
Daria waited for Tom to
make up his mind.
Tom eventually said "I
don't want our first time to be just about favours, I want it to be about
love."
"I know, and I do love
you, the main thing keeping me from having sex with you was fear."
"Okay, and you're sure
you want this?"
"Absolutely."
"Alright then."
"Okay."
Daria then led him
upstairs.
-~-
"What were you two
doing in that graveyard?" asked Reg.
"No comment," said the
Nazi.
"Just some inconsiderate
yob went and sprayed a load of swastikas and phrases such as, and I quote:
'Dodge this oven if you can' next to a devil, and 'Beg Hitler to piss on your
burning soul, he won't but it'll be funny', we recovered the spray cans we
believed were used to deface the gravestones, and Forensics are processing the
cans to see if the paint matches that used to deface the graves, and to see if
your prints were on the cans, do you have any response to this?"
"No comment."
"Well, then you will be
charged."
"And what of that
slanty eyed cow that roughed me up?"
"Who are you referring
to?" asked Reg.
"Chao Ahn."
Reg and Tony looked at each other for
a few minutes.
"Did you see an
oriental girl?" asked Reg.
Tony looked at Reg and
said "No."
"Hmm. Perhaps we should
have the shrink look at him, he might be hallucinating."
"Or just outright
lying."
-~-
"How many does that
make so far?" asked Yvonne.
"Chao Ahn, Rebecca
Gallagher, plus all the others, forty three so far," said Reg.
"All the names blocked,
all packing various sharp weapons, some carrying consecrated water, and piles
of dust everywhere we find them," said Roger.
"Here, I don't suppose
you can add anything to this?" asked Reg of Sgt. Dale Smith.
"Not really, the powers
that be have deemed that we don't need to know, being ex. Army, I tend to think
we should trust them unless there's a specific reason not to."
"I still think we
should investigate, discretely of course, but I would feel better if we knew
what they were doing before we decide to just let them be," said Reg.
"Fair enough," said
Dale, "but we will have to be discrete if we don't want our efforts disrupted."
The relief agreed to
their course of action, then finished their drinks and decided to head home.
-~-
"Charlie Boy, how've
you been?" asked Spike.
Charles chuckled as he
greeted spike with a hug, saying "Spike, Man, how've you been?"
"Good, good, You've met
Jane, and this is her mum, Amanda."
Gunn shook their hands
and said "So, where's this happening?"
"Vail's place."
"Of course," said Gunn,
considering the reason that they didn't say this on the phone. Wolfram And Hart
had made it its business to have all twenty fat fingers and toes in every bent,
stolen and crooked pie on Earth, including possibly the NSA. Mentioning Civus Vail on the phone would cause interference to occur.
"Do you know anything
about what's happened with the place lately?" asked Spike.
"Yeah, Vail's next of
kin inherited the place, he just stepped with into the role Vail had in the
Circle," said Gunn.
"You said our memories
have all been edited by this spell?" asked Gunn.
"Yeah, we uncovered it
when trying to work out why Jane is pregnant."
"I thought Jane was
supposed to be a vampire," said Gunn.
"I am, that's why we
were looking for a magical factor."
"Oh, okay."
Amanda, Jane, Spike and
Gunn got in the car and drove off. Luckily they had a hanger available to
disembark in.
"Heard about that girl
the Klan killed, she was a friend?" Asked Gunn.
"Yeah, well, only
recently. Most the time we were growing up, she was just some brat to me. I
didn't hate her, but we ended up in different cliques, she in the Fashion Club,
and me ... Well, I didn't really have a clique, but we were officially enemies. And
in reality I found her amusing, dunno how she found me."
"When did you become a
vampire?" asked Gunn.
"Just over half a year
ago, of course if my mom wasn't a witch, I'd probably have killed everyone I
care about by now."
"How did it happen?"
asked Gunn.
"Some guy I scored
with, got into blood play, thought it was just something kinky, turns out not."
"But once you got used
to being super strong and able to sense things better--" started Spike.
"I freaked out
initially, I was like, 'Fucking hell, I'm a vampire, what the fuck am I gonna
do now?', you know, he could have told me."
"Would you have gone
for it if he told you?"
Jane shrugged, and said
"I don't know ... I might have assumed it was part of the scene he was acting and
still done it without knowing it would change me."
"Which kind of makes
your anger at your sire redundant, dunnit?" asked Spike.
"Yeah, it does."
"So, Civus's son,
what's he like?" asked Amanda.
"Malachi Vail, pretty
powerful, gonna need some serious powers to do anything to him," said Gunn.
"Oh, I think we got
what we need," said Amanda.
-~-
They arrived on
premises.
The mansion had a
section on its ass end that was obviously new, due to those two nukes
"What do we have on
Civus's place?" asked Amanda.
"City plans, doubt
they're accurate, and
"And this," said
Amanda, as she produced a spherical flask with a small arrow floating within
it, a purple glow pulsed around it at about a quarter of a hertz.
"Okay then," said
Spike, "should be dark soon."
"Malachi did inherit
Civus's army along with his mansion, feel up to that?"
Jane opened one of the
bags they had brought, pulling out a minigun along with its support
pack containing its magazine and CHP/Kerosene turborocket
generator,
saying "I think so."
Spike also pulled a
minigun.
"Got anything I can carry?"
asked Gunn.
Spike pushed another
bag to him and said "An M246"
Amanda pulled her cell
phone and called the people that would help her as Gunn pulled the M246 Minimi
out of the bag.
"This is one of the
good things about working for the government."
"Just like your legal
skills are one of the good things about working for Wolfram and Hart," said
Spike.
-~-
Malachi Vail was in the
process of kicking ass in online Mechwarrior when he realized that it wasn't just the
top of the range soundcard that was producing the sounds he was hearing.
"What the fuck?" he
said as he paused the game and stood up, trying to work out where the sounds,
which were really loud buzzes, were coming from.
One of the guards
entered the room and said "SIR, TWO VAMPIRES, A WITCH AND A LAWYER ARE SHOOTING
THEIR WAY UP HERE!"
This guard was then
ripped apart by a burst of gunfire from behind.
Malachi then realized
that the buzzes were muzzle reports from one of the vampires, a girl, carrying
a minigun entered the room and started firing on him.
His shield was up well
in time to deflect the bullets.
The other vampire entered
and moved around him also shooting bursts from his minigun.
The witch entered, and
checked her watch.
The female vampire
looked to the witch expectantly.
Neither vampire was
shooting at Malachi, and the lawyer was now in view, he was packing a light
machinegun.
The witch drummed her
fingers against her thigh as she looked around, looking antsy.
"Well?" asked the
female vampire.
The witch checked her
watch again and said "any second now."
"Any second now, we're
gonna get our asses handed to us on a plate," said the Lawyer.
The female vampire
slung her minigun and crossed her arms.
The male vampire rested
his minigun over his shoulder and said to Malachi "Sorry for the delay, we will
be kicking your ass shortly."
Malachi chuckled as he
asked "What exactly are you doing here?"
The witch's head
then snapped back as her eyes glowed.
Malachi realized what
was happening and after briefly reassessing the tactical situation, he finally
said "Aww."
The witch then pointed
her palms at Malachi and Malachi was squashed into a singularity that promptly
evaporated.
-~-
Amanda produced the
spherical flask again, and saw the arrow pointing at a door in the back of the
room.
Amanda opened the door
with telekinesis and Jane entered ahead of her.
They found themselves
in an absurdly large room for the available space.
"Trippy," commented
Jane.
"Spacial distortion for
you," commented Spike.
Amanda kept moving the
compass side to side occasionally in order to try to work out their distance
from the source of the spell was.
Jane started hissing
and tutting the Dr. Who theme.
"Could you not do that
please?" asked Spike.
Jane stopped, looking
at Spike for an explanation.
"Annoying experiences I
had with a sci-fi nerd," explained Spike.
Jane nodded and they
proceeded in silence.
Eventually they got to
a steel box.
Amanda put the flask
away and tried the lock.
She couldn't get
through, "There's a shield around this box, and I'm almost out of energy."
"Can we blast through?"
asked Jane.
"Sure, if we had a
couple of kilotons of TNT, but if we use too much, we could destroy the
contents without reversing the spell."
"Jane, we are NOT
setting off a nuclear explosion in the middle of LA," said Spike.
"Think you can deflect
the blast away from civilization?" asked Jane.
"I think so," said
Amanda, going through her gear.
"Okay," said Jane as
she went through her gear.
Two kilotons translated
to 17.64 micrograms, Jane assembled a number of pieces of paper and Amanda
looked through her supplies for an appropriate shielding spell.
"We're still gonna get
an enormous fireball," said Gunn.
"This place have a
swimming pool?" asked Jane.
"It has a fifteen by
five metre pool three metre deep, I'm not sure that'll do it for a two kiloton
device."
"It'll be a smaller
version of the Baker blast, I'm sure. Trust me, I know my math now," said Jane.
-~-
"Our main story
tonight, a blast in
-~-
"Why do I get the
feeling that you three have something to do with this?" asked Donald.
"Because we were
investigating the case," said Jane.
Jane, Gunn and Spike
were in an office at the precinct that had jurisdiction over the area where the
blast had occurred.
"Where's your mom?"
asked Donald.
"Chasing up some leads,
didn't say where. Just she'd call when she was done," said Jane.
"I see."
-~-
Amanda finished her
preparations.
The box had contained
an Orlon window, if shattered, those around it would remember a different
reality.
The problem with it
that was that if she shattered it, only those within sight of it would
remember, and no one else.
So she was going to set
it up so that when it shattered, everyone would regain their memories.
"Let the veil be
lifted," she finished as she poured the 'shroom tea on it.
There was a flash, and
she suddenly remembered some kid who had accompanied Jasmine around
(Before Jasmine was revealed to be some sort of life sucking god of decay) and
then had taken a bunch of hostages a year and a third ago.
The kid had then be
knocked out and dragged off by Angel, CEO of Wolfram and
That was almost
interesting, but only because of the trouble someone had gone through to cover
it up, which brought her to the next question: Why has this been covered up?
-~-
"Whoa," said Tom as he
suddenly paused.
"Did you-" started
Daria.
"-Suddenly regain a
bunch of memories that some magical spell had covered up for a year and a third
for no apparent reason?" asked Tom.
"You did then."
"Yeah, that was weird."
"Yeah," agreed Daria.
Tom then shrugged and
resumed fucking Daria in the leapfrog position.
-~-
Donald left the room,
having been hit by the same lifting of the spell that everyone else on the
planet had undergone.
Eventually Jane asked
"Anyone remember a boy just over a year ago?"
"Yeah, that's Conner, and you're in
trouble."
"What do you mean?"
"Conner was born from a
vampire, vampire couldn't discharge him though her cervix, Caesarian wasn't
happening either, Darla,
the vampire that carried him to term, had to stake
herself to save him."
"Darla? The same Darla
I ran with?" asked Spike.
"Baby's soul influenced
her, we didn't realize the shield wouldn't drop until well into labour, Jane,
we need to talk to your mother about this ASAFP."
"Yeah, I guess we'd
better," said Jane, looking horrified.
-~-
She had to maintain
this spell over the whole day if she wanted to identify the pervert that had
been telekinetically feeling her up.
She started discussing
the exercise she had arranged to use telekinesis in combat.
She suddenly felt her
panties ride up into her slit, pushing into her vestibule, and upon looking
down, she saw two ghostly hands manipulating her panties, attached to ...
Rebecca looked stunned,
and everyone else looked confused.
"Staff," Rebecca
acknowledged, as she stood up and followed
They were eventually
sufficiently far enough away in
"Staff?" asked Rebecca.
"While you were busy
rearranging my underwear with your mind, I was running a spell that would allow
me to see precisely that kind of tampering, so I ask again, what are you
playing at?"
"Well, I started to
fancy you, and I knew you were into women-"
"Especially women whose
partner you shot? Yes, that's a real turn on, Gallagher, next time I date
someone, I'll get them in an open top car, and drive by a book depositary after
calling you with my schedule so you can assassinate her, then we'll go home and
spend the entire night having hot passionate sex."
Rebecca looked stuck
for a second, then said "Sorry, but I really do love you, I was just hoping I
could get you to like me back."
"You've got some
serious mental problems, Gallagher."
Rebecca shrugged and
said "Who dares wins."
Willow tensed every
muscle as she fought down the urge to eject this nut case through every floor
above her and throw her into the Thames, and ultimately said "get back to
class, I'll be with you shortly, but you WILL not feel me up again in any way,
or I'll rip your ovaries out of your body and force them up your nose and down
your throat ... ... okay?"
"Yes, staff," Rebecca
said as she returned to the class.
-~-
"Okay, that's a
problem," said Amanda, having been told what Gunn knows of vampire pregnancies.
"Why the fuck was this
covered up anyway?" asked Spike.
"I don't know, it was
probably Angel who did it, since he's Conner's dad, and he was the one that had
signed the deal, we stopped remembering Conner just before we found out from
Angel that we had taken over Wolfram and
"Okay, can you think of
anyone who might be able to add something useful?" asked Jane.
"Only possibilities I
can think of are Wesley and Winifred ... ... There are a bunch of thins that
Conner's presence precipitated, this bullshit prophecy for instance, made out
that Angel was going to kill Conner, Wesley took the initiative and abducted
Conner, then lost the baby when Justine, one of Holtz's followers, jacked him."
"Woah,
slow down, who's Holtz?" asked Jane.
"Daniel Holtz was a
vampire hunter Angel tormented while he was without a soul, Angel killed his
wife and turned his daughter while he was diverted, Holts went out for revenge,
conspiring with Sahjhan
against angel, although Sahjhan was actually trying to kill Conner because
Conner was prophesized to kill him, that thing
with the Reilly's makes perfect sense now."
"Reilly's?" asked Jane.
"Yeah, this kid had to
fight this demon, Angel went along with it for reason that weren't made clear,
but why was this spell done exactly?"
-~-
Wesley and Winifred lay
in the bed processing the memories they had just recovered.
Finally Wesley asked
"What was that?"
"That was us
remembering a reality that got covered up by a magical spell that made us all
believe Conner didn't exist."
"Ah ... what happened to
it?"
"I don't know, we'll
have to talk to Amanda or
"I abducted Conner
thinking Angel was going to kill him," said Wesley.
"Yeah, that was
awkward."
"Tell me."
"Oh, shit, Jane,"
realized Winifred.
"I know, on it," said
Wesley as he picked up the phone.
-~-
Part 2.
-~-
Everyone sat down in
the briefing room.
Inspector Gold eventually
entered the room and started off the briefing saying "Right, your attention
please? Everyone shut up, thank you. Now, last night there was another call to
a blocked name, I have been trying to find out what's going on, but surprise surprise, the defence secretary doesn't want to say anything,
so we have to respect that and let them do what ever it is they are doing,
okay?"
Reg raised his hand and
asked "What if it's extraordinary renditions?"
"If you witness a
crime, nick them, investigate until ordered otherwise, but officially, they are
free to do what they like. I do know the ethical arguments, I've heard them all
my career, but we have a job to do, and that includes the usual bad guys too,
alright?"
Everyone nodded, and
Gina got on with the rest of the briefing, covering various reports of criminal
activity from last night.
-~-
"Extraordinary
renditions?" asked Amber.
"Yeah, basically,
torture's illegal in the
They headed off to the
secure parking area to set off on their assigned patrol route.
Amber hummed the theme
for 'the X-files' for a few seconds, Reg took no notice.
-~-
"We need to do a lot of
work here people," said Henno.
This drew a round of "aww"s from the rest of the troop.
"Our tactics depend on
speed and surprise, people, and we didn't have either. We show up at an
operation doing that, the bad guys will be laughing, so cut the attitude, and
get ready to go again!"
The killing house,
where the SAS trained for clearing a structure of terrorists without harming
hostages, where they had learned the techniques they had used to storm the
Watcher's council last time the First Evil had hit them.
Usually they'd be
running through the structure with MP5s, now they were running through the
structure with throwing stars.
Throwing stars they'd
telekinetically throw at the targets.
The difference between
this and shooting was the number of moves needed, because with a gun, you point
it at the target and push a button. Point and click. But with throwing stars,
you have to pick one up, get it to a start position, and throw it. Doing that
several times a second at more than one target was difficult.
But this was going to
give them a backup weapon to their normal armaments,
-~-
Buffy heard a knock at
her door and said "Come in."
Aiden and Geoff
entered.
"We need to talk," said
Geoff.
"Hence you being here,
what's up?" asked Buffy.
"We've been getting
complaints from African governments about gangs of girls working for the
British assaulting their people, I think you know exactly who these individuals
are, care to explain?"
Buffy looked stunned
and said "I'll have to look into it," getting a notepad and a pen, before
asking "anything else you can tell me?"
"Yes, the governments
complaining are
Buffy wrote these
details saying "okay, anything else?"
"Yes, how's it going
with red troop?"
"
"You mean house
clearing?" asked Aiden.
"Yeah," said Buffy.
"Okay, well, carry on,"
said Geoff as he left.
"I'll be back in a
moment to discuss red troop's progress in a couple of minutes," said Aiden
before he left.
Buffy then picked up
the phone and called Dawn to initiate the investigation.
-~-
Tom woke as he felt
something inside him release something, feeling alarmed at the seemingly
uncontrolled manner of this discharge.
He sat up in alarm, and
looked down at Daria, whose head was positioned over his groin.
He calmed down a little
as Daria finished what she was doing and eventually said "hope you don't mind,
but I thought I should make the swelling go down."
"I'll get over it," he
said, he then asked "so, I suppose you have to get ready for work then."
"Yeah," said Daria as
she sat up on her heels, taking his hands into hers, smiling at him.
"Last night was
alright, yeah? You don't regret anything, or think I took advantage or
anything?"
Chuckling, Daria said
"no, relax, it was fine, in fact, I'd like to do it again actually, assuming
you'd also like to resume our relationship."
"I would actually. Can
we talk about this tonight?"
"Sure, let's get
cleaned up shall we?"
-~-
Wesley and Winifred ate
breakfast in silence. Last night's revelation had really fucked with them.
Wesley wanted to start
a conversation about this, but he couldn't think of a way of doing this, he
couldn't think of a way to start it. He had abducted Angel's son without
discussing it with ANYONE!!!
He had thought it was
absolutely the right thing, but what he had done to Angel was about the most
fucked up thing he could think of. Oh, and it had turned out to be a scheme by
this Sahjhan character who wanted Conner dead before Conner could do unto him,
god what a fucking embarrassment that had been.
Of course when he was
evicted from Angel Investigations, he was angry at everyone for not giving him
a chance to explain his actions. Then he had realized they didn't have to be
sympathetic, and that his anger was really that he had been so thoroughly
suckered by Sahjhan and Justine, and had a near death experience (laceration to
the carotid artery) thrown in for fun.
And oh yeah, he had
then sought comfort from Lilah Morgan, one of Wolfram and Hart's
unapologetically evil star lawyers, the same one that had more recently been
involved in a plot to dissect a slayer (forcing Winifred to help).
Winifred tried to think
of some way to talk to Wesley about their new memories.
But she couldn't think
of any way to start this that seemed to be in any way respectful of the
subject.
And how could she begin
to discuss this with him after she had basically told him to never return to
Angel Investigations while he was recovering from having his throat slit trying
to protect Conner, and basically drove him into Lilah Morgan's arms.
It was amazing he
hadn't gone dark side. She had been disgusted at him when she had learned about
it, but she had quickly realized it was her fault.
She checked her watch
as she continued to eat her breakfast. Eventually she finished and after
placing her crockery and cutlery in the dishwasher, she said "We shout talk
about this tonight."
"Afraid I'm going to be
returning to the
"Right," said Winifred.
"I'll try to get back
soon," said Wesley.
Winifred nodded and
gathered her coat, keys, and briefcase before heading out to Lockheed where she
was helping them develop the weapons they would need to fight the cyborgs.
Wesley had been there
helping them develop mystical systems for the weapons systems, but to be honest
he could do this more easily from the
Winifred needed to be
close because of the intricacies of the engineering involved.
-~-
Daria and Tom, now
clean and fully dressed, came downstairs and met with Quinn and Jake who were
arguing about Tiffany.
"DAD, TIFFANY WAS ONLY
DOING WHAT I WAS SORELY TEMPTED TO DO, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HER!"
"OH, YOU SAY THAT NOW,
BUT WHAT IF SHE THEN TRIES TO GET YOU ON DRUGS TOO?"
"HEY!" shouted Daria.
"Oh, hi kiddo, you
alright there?" asked Jake, suddenly acting calm as if he wasn't arguing just
now with Quinn at 320,291,835½db.
"I take it you heard
what happened at school yesterday."
"Yeah, your sister's
friend seems to have turned into a violent miscreant," said Jake.
"Yeah, this wasn't
unprovoked though, school system appears to have decided that the only way to
prevent future disasters is to start giving God a rim job."
Jake shuddered saying "eeeeewwww-w-w-w-w-w-w-wwww."
"Of course, they have a
particular god in mind, and have decided to adopt the one that commands us to
learn fundamentalist teachings only."
"When did this happen?"
asked Jake.
"Didn't you get a letter
about it?" asked Daria.
"Letter?" asked Jake.
Quinn left the room and
returned with a huge ass pile of letters, she sifted through them, ultimately
finding one with a
"How come you haven't
had your utilities cut off?" asked Tom.
"Direct Debit," said
Daria.
"Ah."
"I'm not exactly happy
with the way Tiffany chose to express her dissatisfaction, mind, and you're
both old enough to look for your own information sources, so I don't want the
pair of you cutting class either."
"Daria, Tiffany's not
going back, I don't blame her for not going back, but if she's not going to be
there ... who the fuck am I going to talk to?"
"You can't be the only
student who feels the new curriculum to be stupid ... er."
"Oh, believe me, I am,
the rest of the students have bought it, lock, stock and two smoking barrels ...
Where did that phrase come from?"
"Firearms, rifles and
muskets mostly, three main areas of a firearm are the lock, which is the
component that on command initiates the propellant, stock, the bit that rests
against your shoulder, and I think you know which bit the barrel is."
"Ah, right, I figured
it was something to do with booze or something," said Quinn.
"Okay, well, I'm sorry,
but the school's unlikely to take Tiffany back, and I don't see any good reason
for you to abscond, you still want an attendance record when you go to
college," said Daria.
"Damn it," said Quinn
as she headed to her room to pick up her stuff.
"School shouldn't be
able to do this," said Tom.
"That's right, we have
a fucking constitution which prevents public schools from pulling precisely
this kind of bullshit, the problem is that if there's enough people for an
amendment, that could change. I'll see what our options are, this isn't a good
situation, and I don't want to leave it as is."
-~-
"Our night jobs are
basically, well, night jobs, we mostly only encounter vampires at night, but in
principle, we're here to stop evil, right?"
Buffy thought about
this, and said "Yeah, but getting arrested or wanted will heavily interfere
with this."
"I'm with you there,
but we're in a position to help, and no one else seems to have the will, so
we're not going to let people just starve to death, we're going to get them out
and deter the local Gestapo from future atrocities. Y'know, like that guy said,
first they came for the Jews, and I wasn't a Jew, and then they came for the
gas, but I didn't ... err ... "
"Yeah, okay, I'm with
you on that, just try not to get caught, and try to get the blame shifted to
some other assholes."
"Acknowledged."
Buffy then hung up.
That was everything,
except
The slayers fought the
forces of evil. This was mainly vampires, but seeing the problems going on
around them in
'Driving people out of
their homes' in this instance was a polite way of saying they were riding
around setting fire to people's houses (mostly while the occupants were still
in them), shooting people in the streets, wounding, torturing, raping,
apparently with the support of the Sudanese government (Who were lying their
asses off denying involvement).
And
This was diplomatically
awkward, but frankly, this wasn't something Buffy was going to interfere with.
-~-
Daria entered Tiffany's
room.
"Hey Daria."
"Tiffany," acknowledged
Daria, as she took up a position in front of Tiffany. "I had to think about
what happened at school yesterday, I mean, I know the new curriculum is
extremely stupid, and that you have had problems, but the way you lost it in
that class was not something I can support."
"I know, I know," said
Tiffany, nodding.
"Your pay can cover a
private tutor while leaving thousands a year left over for whatever else, but
you can't get away with this kind of disorder, something like this in the field
can get you and others killed."
Tiffany looked at Daria
Quizzically.
"I'm sending you to
work with
Tiffany spent a few
minutes considering the effect and said "This a Chinese thing? Just 'cos I'm
Chinese, I'm an expert on the Triads?"
"You don't need to be
an expert, you just need to look like you might be useful to them, they're a
gang, they're going to want local talent. What you will need to learn, is how
to memorize extremely fleeting details that will be needed to identify other
gangsters, we're supposed to be spooks after all."
"Only because the Bush
administration have us over a barrel, our task is supposed to be search and
destroy."
"It's still a useful
skill."
"That you're inflicting
as a punishment. God, Daria, I'd have thought you could show a little
understanding."
"Sorry, kind of out of
that, blew it all on you torturing me, chasing Jane out of town, and raping my
sister while making me watch."
Tiffany looked stunned.
"Like I said, I know
you were having problems, and still are, but move the fuck on and sort yourself
the fuck out."
Tiffany looked at Daria
for a few seconds and said "Right. Where and when do I go to start this,
slaying sabbatical?"
"Next Monday," said
Daria, as she left.
At least she would be
able to attend Sandi's funeral.
Tiffany fumed, but
decided Daria had a point, she didn't have to be such a fucking hard ass about
it, but ...
Tiffany decided to go
to the FBI to see what they had on the Triads in preparation for her new job.
-~-
"Hey Wesley, what's
up?" asked Daria as she arrived.
"You're chipper,"
commented Wesley.
"Not really, Tiffany
caused an incident yesterday, I had to think of something to punish her with."
"Oh, right, well, it
sucks to do that, but discipline is important, there's something you're not
going to want to hear though."
"What's that?" asked
Daria.
"Jane's pregnancy. It's
not unprecedented for a vampire to get pregnant, but it's fatal for the baby or
the vampire, unless we can find a way of getting through that mystical
barrier," said Wesley.
"Damn."
"What else has been
happening?"
"Well, we think we have
a location on the cyborg's base, and a theory as to
why we couldn't locate Upchuck."
"Really?"
"Iron, mystical
shield."
"Ah, right, so you used
Magnetic Anomaly Detectors?"
"Using them soon, but
we actually used NASA's oceanographical survey
satellites, since he'd be electrolyzing the rust, and in fact, oxidizing the
iron to scrub out the sulphur and other contaminants,
the metal we're talking about is the cheap and nasty variety, so he's going to
want to clean it up some before using it."
"Okay, so ... of course,
oxygen toxicity ... except this seems like something Mr. Ruttheimer
might know about," said Wesley.
"Yeah, but we don't
really have any other clues, so that's what we're going with."
-~-
"There's no magnetic
anomaly in the area," said Donald.
"Which means the iron's
not being used in this area, it's being made there and immediately taken to the
sites where it's being used," said Robodaria.
"How would he join the
parts?" asked Daria.
"Probably MIG, some of
the iron is made into wire form, they probably build up tons of helium from the
power they're using for all of this. That's probably their shielding gas, now
the question becomes do they hang on to it, or simply let it go?" asked
Robodaria.
"I don't think we're
going to be able to find them using waste helium, I think we're simply going to
have to follow them from their foundry to their construction sites," said
Daria.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't
stick planes in that theatre, let alone big slow boats, even with a skeleton
crew," said Robodaria.
"Well ... no."
"What?"
"Well, I was going to
suggest we make robots for this, but that could get expensive."
"Oh gee thanks," said
Robodaria.
"We could try zombies
though," said Daria.
"Zombies???" asked
Donald, looking alarmed, "As in lurching rotting corpses that eat brains?"
"Okay, so what do you
need?" asked Donald.
"I'll need to research
this a little for ingredients and equipment, but aside from that, bodies."
"How fresh?" asked
Donald.
"Any state will do as
long as the limbs are all attached, but I'd prefer less than a couple of weeks,
should be enough people dying without us needing to kill anyone," said Daria.
-~-
Quinn sat at a table on
her own, eating her lunch.
Today's history had
been a little more contemporary, but had still been extremely bent towards the
fundamentalist ideology.
The Suffragettes were
apparently 'a Satanist cult that had been out to destroy society though the
guise of empowering women, using satanic rituals to cause their gullible
recruits to shut out reason in place of a suicidal devotion to their twisted
agenda.'
There had also been
similar things said in that lesson about all female advancement movements
since, calling them 'godless satanic witches whose disregard of gods will is
starting to cause disaster now.'
Of course, just about
every girl in that class challenged it, but the teacher had simply used cheap
taunts to wind them up and 'prove that they have no ability to reason', while
most the boys chuckled and cheered the teacher.
Quinn eventually
finished her lunch and checked her watch, then she headed off to the
principal's office.
-~-
"Come in," said Angela.
Quinn entered and said
"I think we need to have a conversation about the new curriculum."
"What about it?" asked
Angela.
"Well, for one thing,
it's not too flattering about the abilities of women, or just about any of the
feminist movements that have lead to you being able to get your job, why
exactly are you going along with this?"
Angela looked pained.
After a while, she said
"Because I have no choice."
"The Parent Teacher
Association?" asked Quinn.
"If they all pulled
their children out, well, not all, but enough to make this school pointless, I'd
be out of a job."
"Okay ... How many of the
parents were female?"
"First thing I thought
of, but they supported the proposed changes to the curriculum."
Angela looked disgusted
as she avoided eye contact with Quinn.
"Since I started making
an effort, I've learned that it's taken over a century of hard work under
extreme, even deadly hostility to gain the human rights we were previously
denied upheld in any sense, and the new curriculum threatens to wipe all of
that out."
"Thank you, I know the
stakes, Quinn, but what I need is ideas."
-~-
Jake was watching the
news when Quinn stormed in.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE
TWATS THINK THIS CURRICULUM IS ANY GOOD!"
Jake didn't respond --
he really didn't need this stress.
"AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
DARIA'S SENDING TIFFANY OFF ON THAT DEEP COVER
Jake continued to focus
on the news.
Daria arrived at this
point.
Quinn pulled out some
papers and said "Look at this."
Daria looked at the
text.
Eventually Daria said
"Okay, this should help," she turned to Jake and said "Dad, when's the next PTA
meeting scheduled to take place?"
Jake was still trying
to stay out.
Daria walked over to
Jake and waved the papers in front of his face.
Eventually Daria said
"Dad, you all right there?"
"A-OK kiddo!" he said
with overboard cheer.
"Okay, we need to talk
about how we're going to present this to the PTA the next time they meet, and
since I'm not a parent, you're going to have to present it."
"Sure, that would be great,
present a case to the PTA," he said, sounding like he was in his denial mode.
"Sounds like you have
your doubts."
"I do, I know I pretend
to keep on top of everything. But in truth, I can barely handle anything beyond
the finances and running the house, and I've been out of the loop with anything
connected to the PTA."
"Okay, I'll help you
with this."
-~-
Tiffany was feeling
extremely fucked off now.
On top of the fact
Daria had decided to punish her with that Triad infiltration assignment. She
had started making her learn how to do Glamours, SFX spells, so that in the
event the Triads wanted her to kill anyone or inflict serious injury, she can
look like she's doing it without actually doing it. It was also going to take
some cosmetic surgery and some voice changes to just make her different enough
to prevent her being identified from when she was on the news. She was also
going to have to alter her fighting style since the world also got several
minutes of her duel with Kirsty.
But the thing that was
fucking her off right now was that there were no vampires to take it out on.
Punch bags don't fight
back, they don't crunch, they don't give you much of a workout back, there's no
feeling of accomplishment unless you see your target die.
Tiffany was looking
around for things to break.
The problem she had
with demolishing park furniture was it was ... she just felt it was wrong, it was
beneath her.
But she needed to-
"Hey Tiffany,"
Tiffany stopped and
turned around.
"Finally found out your
name."
"Yeah, well, remember
it, you'll get a group discount when you go to hell," said Tiffany as she
started approaching the vampire.
"Oh, I ha'n't heard that one before," said the vampire.
"Neither have I."
Tiffany glanced in the
direction of the new voice and said "Kevin, what are you doing here?"
"I'm just hanging out
with Barry here, he's cool."
"Kevin, he's a vampire,
now fuck off."
"But I'm with him,"
said Kevin as he vamped out.
Tiffany looked at him
for a couple of seconds, Barry was also approaching her, but was still five
seconds out. Tiffany eventually said "Well, guess you're dying with him then,"
and turned to Barry in time to wrap her left arm around his right as she kneed
him under the sternum before spinning him onto his back as she pulled a stake
and tried to stab him, only for Barry to block her stake and kick her in the
face, causing her to drop him.
Barry turned over and
tried to bite Tiffany, but Tiffany blocked him. He had grabbed her stake hand
preventing her from stabbing him, but she managed to get one knee under him,
and she used her other leg to flip him over her. As soon as she was on top, she
stood up, moving back to free her stake hand.
Barry flipped the other
way.
"Wow, this is pretty
cool," said Kevin as he watched.
"Yeah? You should see
her in bondage, covered in dirt and bruises, cuts, puncture marks, you remember
that, don't you Tiffany? My big, tasty cock in your mouth?"
Tiffany suddenly found
her body was outside of her control as it ran at Barry, and started throwing
punches.
Barry easily deflected
her punches and commented "Oooh, touched a nerve
there, or is that a clitoris?"
Tiffany eventually
nutted him and he was thrown off his game sufficiently for Tiffany to get some
good punches in.
"I didn't know Tiffany
was a slut," said Kevin.
Tiffany then turned to
Kevin and stalked up to him.
"My, we have touched a
nerve, ain't we?"
Tiffany stopped, and
realized she was considering the best way to express rage instead of the
fastest way to waste the fuckers.
Tiffany pulled her
swords.
"Alright, fine, we'll
do this later," said Barry as he started skipping back.
"Eh?" asked Kevin.
"LEG IT, NOW, UNLESS
YOU WANT TO BECOME A PILE OF DUST."
Kevin shrugged and both
vampires ran off.
Tiffany felt her
strength disappear and then she felt her eyes start to water.
"For fuck's sake," she
muttered as she realized she wasn't going to be able to stop her eyes from
doing this.
Tiffany sheathed her
swords and found a bench to sit down on while she waited for her tear ducts to
run out of tears.
-~-
"So, what's the history
behind the two of you?" asked Kevin.
"I found her in a
nest," said Barry.
"A nest, no way, the
nest would have to belong to a ... a tera ... thingy."
"A vampire nest, Kevin,
a place vampires select to sleep and ... well basically squat in."
"Squat in?" asked
Kevin, feeling confused.
"Nhh.
... Anyway, I enter this nest because I smell this girl who's really afraid, and
I get in there, there's Tiffany, tit and clit naked, arms tied behind her like
this," he said, pressing his forearms together behind his back to demonstrate,
"covered in cuts, bruises, fang marks, some dried jiz
on her. Hair and skin looked like they had gone without any kind of hygiene
measures of any kind for months, or possibly years, but I think any more than a
few months she'd die of pneumonia or something. She looked absolutely adorable
like that, oh, her neck was chained to the floor on the end of a long length of
chain, like a dog tied to a kennel."
"Wow, didn't know she
was into that," said Kevin.
"I don't think she is,
all I knew was those vampires that had the nest were apparently keeping her
alive, so I decided to leave her that way too. Drank some blood from her foot,
she didn't struggle, just moved and moaned a little from the pain, she had been
properly broken, you know?"
"And she let you do it
with her?"
"Well, I didn't exactly
get her permission, Kevin, we're vampires, yeah? Eeee-viiiillll?
Yeah?"
"Oh yeah. ... Wait,
you're saying you raped her? Dude, that is totally not cool ... "
Barry gave Kevin this
pained look.
Kevin was engrossed in
some sort of mental puzzle.
"Actually, it is kind
of cool, didn't used to think that. Huh. ... So, you did her?"
"Yeah, came back
several times, always when they were out. Wasn't much of a conversationalist,
but I'm sure I added a little bit more fear to her life. ... Then one day after I
had stopped for several weeks, I came back and found the place had been
torched. Saw this gap in the floor beam where the chain had been, it smelt of
her sweat, also the bits of rope that had been on her arms were lying there. I
could only reach the conclusion that Tiffany had killed her captors and
escaped."
"Wow," said Kevin, "How
long ago was this?"
"Couple of years."
"Wow."
-~-
"Hey T."
Tiffany looked to her
eight o'clock and said "Hey Faith," before she sat back on the bench.
Faith leaned over the
back of the bench next to her and said "I heard about that Triad assignment."
"Oh yeah, the school
acts like the 700 Club, and I'm the one who gets punished for justifiable
losing it."
"Aww
... ... Wanna find something to hit?"
Tiffany chuckled and
said "in a minute."
Faith sat on the back
of the bench and swung her feet over, then she sat down next to Tiffany and
said "There's something else wrong though, isn't there?"
"Yeah, when I was being
held by those four vampires. There was this one other vampire, apparently named
Barry, who occasionally entered their nest while the others were out, and did
pretty much the same thing they did, I encountered him earlier, I should have
been able to kill him."
"Ahhh,"
said Faith, "but you couldn't, you were so choked up with memories of fear and
disgust that you were thrown completely off balance."
"Yeah."
"Yeah, happened to me
too, piece of shit known as Kakistos.
He killed my watcher, chased me all the way to Sunnydale, I'd been activated
and I still couldn't engage."
"I want to kill that
guy."
"I'll help," said
Faith.
"I need to figure out
where he is then," said Tiffany.
"What do you know about
him?"
"Name of Barry,
probably locally sired, he had Kevin Thompson with him, Kevin used to be a high
school jock, he flunked out, and now he's a vampire too."
"Thinking Barry's
Kevin's sire?" asked Faith.
"Probably."
"What's Kevin like?"
"Industrial grade
thickshit."
"Sounds like Barry will
be working alone then," said Faith.
"Thing is, I know
nothing about this Barry, except he probably wants to play with me ... shit,"
Tiffany pulled her phone and called her parents.
-~-
Kevin knocked on the
door. He waited along with Barry until it was answered.
"Kevin? What are you
doing here?"
"I kind of need to talk
to you, can I come in?"
"No way loser," said
Quinn as she closed the door in his face.
Barry looked at Kevin.
"She's just playing
hard to get man, maybe there's an open window somewhere."
"Kevin, as a vampire,
you need one of the people living in a private dwelling to invite you in, or
you'll just bounce off of some sort of shield."
"Really? That's just stupid."
"Yeah, but it's an
irrevocable fact, and we need to recruit someone she will let in to drag her
out."
"Okay ... but ... "
"You're not about to
tell me you don't know anyone?"
"Oh, that's not it, I
know some guys, but what does irrecopical mean?"
-~-
"No contact," said
Tiffany as she turned off her phone and put it away.
"Okay, where else could
they have gone?"
"I don't know, Barry I
have zero intelligence on, Kevin's about the stupidest person I have ever
encountered. ... Okay, Barry wants to come after me, he'll want to know all he
can about me from whatever sources are available to him, and right now, that's
Kevin, so what does Kevin know about me? ..." a couple of seconds later, she
winced and said "He knows I hang out with Quinn," as she pulled her phone and
called Quinn.
-~-
"Kevin's a vampire?
Well, makes sense given what a loser he is now I suppose, he came round here
earlier asking to come in."
"Tell me you didn't
invite him."
"Of course not, he's a
loser, remember?"
"Okay, good, but right
now we need to work out what Kevin is likely to suggest to his sire, Barry."
"Barry?"
"Yeah, he visited while
the other vamps were out, I was hoping I'd eventually take him out myself, but
I boned it, so now I gotta find him again."
"But if you failed before,
what's gonna be different this time?"
"I got Faith with me."
"Oh, okay, happy
hunting."
"Thanks, and keep
safe," said Tiffany.
-~-
Daria completed the
spell and suddenly every corpse in the hanger sat up.
"Okay, now to find out
weather or not the corpses will do as I say," said Daria before shouting "ALL
ZOMBIES, ASSEMBLE BY THE FRONT DOOR, THREE ROWS, MOVE IT!"
The corpses all ran to
the front of the hanger using their arms to space themselves in a three by
sixty grid.
Daria followed them, pleased
with the results, she asked "DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH SUICIDE
MISSIONS?"
None of them raised any
objections.
"Okay then," Daria
looked over to where the Navy officers were standing. The officers looked a
touch nervous about the fact that they were looking at reanimated bodies, Daria
then turned back to the zombies "These guys are going to teach you how to run a
battleship. You have seventy two hours to learn your jobs before you will be
flown direct to the ships where you will replace the crews and survey the areas
around you. You will be gathering as much data on the cyborgs we've been
chasing and passing it on as quickly as possible. You'll probably be destroyed
in the process as the cyborgs become aware of your activity."
The zombies had no
response.
"You all understand the
orders I have given you so far?"
"Yes ma'am," the
zombies chorused.
Daria then turned to
the Navy officers, who were staring at Daria like she was pointing her USAS12
at them, and said "All yours," before leaving the hanger.
-~-
"This has only happened
twice that we know of, I'd be surprised if we find anything," said Wesley.
"You keep saying that,"
said Jane.
"Yeah, well, it does
present a real problem, most magics only work from a
specific combination of components, it's not like engineering where you can
just use math to make whatever you want," said Amanda.
"I seemed to come up
with that spell that turns arrows into energy just fine," said Jane.
"How did you do that by
the way?" asked Wesley.
"I took a couple of
spells and fused them, you have to put the material in stasis first, then you
do the transmutation."
"Bit dangerous, wasn't
it?"
"Didn't turn the first
objects into energy, turned them into medium carbon steel first."
"Medium carbon steel?"
asked Wesley.
"String's cheaper than
welding wire, you know how much of that I go through in a week?"
"I see," said Wesley.
"It occurs to me that
this is probably simpler than we think, what if all we need to penetrate the
shield is something of equal hardness?" suggested Jane.
"You mean like using
diamonds to cut diamonds?" asked Wesley.
"Exactly," said Jane.
"Magic doesn't quite
work like that," said Amanda.
"Yeah, it's
multidimensional to say the least, you got more flavours
of magic than you have quar ... "
-~-
"You do realize that
Donald won't take too kindly to me taking time off the AWE project," said
Winifred, who had answered the phone in the middle of machining a reflector
system for a pipe shaped laser core.
"I understand that, but
Jane's baby will need to emerge eventually, and I really don't want to see
either the baby dead or Jane a pile of dust, is there anything I can do on my
end?" asked Wesley.
Winifred looked up at
the ceiling for a moment and said "Well, I've been working on ways to detect
dark matter, but as I've mentioned, it's proving difficult to crack. I'll get
there, but if we want access to the equipment and to avoid obstacles such as
serving multiple life sentences in some prison that our government outsources just because it's apparently illegal to torture
prisoners around here."
"That doesn't stop
them."
"Limits which methods
they can use, they still have to get away with it."
"The Abu Ghraib screws
didn't adhere to any limits."
"The Abu Ghraib screws
were exceptionally stupid."
"Hmm, anyway, any help
you can render here."
"Yeah, on it."
Winifred hung up and
went back to the lathe. It had finished the reflector, and the splash/shrapnel
guard opened up for the robot to unload the reflector as the lathe's chuck
opened.
Winifred inspected the
mirror. The mirror was perfectly smooth, this particular lathe had grinding and
polishing tools in it's carrousel.
She took it through to
the test mount. It fitted over the front of the pipe shaped laser. She then put
on her LCD
visor and announced she was about to fire it up. The laser activated,
causing the ceiling to fluoresce.
"Okay, powering up the
coil," said Winifred as she slowly turned the control that would lift the part
of the transformer core out that usually shorted the magnetic circuit.
Slowly a ring became
visible over the mirror, the ring extended and tapered.
"Plasma ignition,"
noted Winifred, keeping in mind that she had to keep the bursts short or they'd
start to get harmful nitrogen dioxide levels. She opened the throttle even more
and turned it on again.
The ring was this time
intensely bright and the visors light activated sensor activated.
The brilliant cone where
the plasma was being pushed away from the coil and being confined by the
induced magnetic field was almost pure white, the next bands of colour get less
bright as the plasma cooled.
Gas spectra worked in
the opposite direction to how candescent radiation worked, all your high energy
radiation occurred first because your electrons jump furthest first; the next
jumps tend to be much smaller and therefore less energetic.
Winifred turned it off
and opened the throttle completely and tried it again for half a second, there
was a loud shriek as the plasma stream went supersonic, the shock diamonds were
barely visible as the glare started to exceed the opacity of the LCD visor, she
then shut it off.
She looked up. There
was some dark brown smoke high in the room, but that was being sucked into the
air conditioning ducts, shouldn't be a problem.
"We have our thruster
system, just need to figure out how to make a coil light enough that won't
vaporize," said Winifred.
She had done the math
and found that normal inductors just can't provide the thrust needed. The
saturation was just too damn low, it was going to be an air cored inductor to
remove that ceiling, so that just left the current, which had to be about 10,000 times more
intense than what it would have to be to give you what you get with a
silicon steel core.
That meant making some
kind of superconductor system, and even then, it's a bit shit, unless you can
do better than 156kA/m. "So, what are the cyborgs making their coils out of?"
She asked.
-~-
Part 3
-~-
"Okay, we've tried the
Rowes, the Thompsons, the Griffins, the Morgendorffers, and the entire football
team, what else?" asked Faith as she and Tiffany walked down the street, having
searched all night without success.
"I don't know, I'd
rather not wait until night again, I hate having to wait for these guys to come
out to feed."
"Know what you mean, on
the plus side we can now legally use incendiary grenades, I could marry your
watcher for that. ... Well, if she was gay, and if I were gay too for that
matter, and if this state allowed gay marriage and hadn't gone religious stupid
mode."
"Yeah ... "
Faith picked up on
Tiffany's drop in enthusiasm for discussion on the subject of her watcher, and
asked "Things okay between you and Daria?"
"Nah, I mean, she's
been alright mostly, but lately, she's been getting increasingly stern."
"Something getting to
her perhaps?"
"Might be the school
situation, Daria's a card carrying brain, so seeing the education system take
this turn would really wind her up."
"That is annoying her,
but no, something's off, but ... ... Ahhhhhh, maybe
something about the job's turning her into an asshole, could be Donald getting
on her case more than usual," said Tiffany.
"Ah yes, I believe
Andrew described him as a cross between President Clark off of SG1 and Senator Kinsey off of Babylon 5," said Faith.
"I'll take your word
that you're describing a pair of twats, I need to get back to my magical
training," said Tiffany.
"All right, well, I got
nothing else going on ... Tiffany, we're Special Agents in a shadowy government
organization now, aren't we?"
"Yeah?"
"How old would you say
this Barry guy was? Did he give the impression he was older than the invention
of the camera?"
"No ... SHIT!!!"
-~-
Not getting a response,
she headed through to the kitchen.
No notes or anything.
Must have a vengeance
gig on.
This made Willow
uneasy, she remembered when Anyanka was a vengeance demon, she did some truly
nasty deeds, the one that had caused Buffy to engage her was the one where this
girl that got dumped by her boyfriend in the middle of a frat party
(specifically crafted to enhance her humiliation) caused the girl to wish they
"Knew what it felt like to have their hearts ripped out."
Anyanka's solution: Call
forth a bunch of Grimslaw
demons to waste the fraternity.
And anyone else they
happen to wander across.
Buffy had to kill
Anyanka, Xander had tried to stop this, hoping to find another way of doing
this (Couldn't blame him, Willow was far from happy about having to inform
Buffy of the situation knowing what Buffy would have to do).
Of course, Anyanka had
been human long enough to finally decide to do the right thing: Undo the damage
even if it meant she would die in the process, but D'Hoffryn decided it would
be funnier to slot Halfrek
instead.
Halfrek was one of
Anyanka's closest friends, and her death was the worst shock imaginable for
Anyanka.
Well, there were some
people, First Evil for instance, but there's no real way of doing that.
Gwen would definitely
be taking vengeance for something or other, and the results could be a whole
load of dead people. And one day,
What the fuck was she
thinking? Getting into a relationship with a vengeance demon?
-~-
"Barry Yohansen, age fifteen,
missing, wanted in connection with the murder of his parents, found deceased in
his home with puncture marks to their necks. This was in
"Interests were
football, baseball, hockey, ice hockey, American football, business studies,
bland much? Who'd sire this guy?"
"Interest in sports
ought to explain why he sired Kevin, but something's at odds here, why wasn't
he talking sports when he was making conjugal visits?"
"What did he talk
about?"
"The artistic aspects
of my situation, I just took it for normal vampire crap."
"Did he know you were a
potential slayer?"
"No."
"You were just another
victim to him, that could be our angle."
-~-
"That's my sire," said
Jane as she looked at the print out.
"He tell you anything
useful?" asked Tiffany.
"Not offhand, but I
know his scent, I should be able to find him for you, draw him out," said Jane.
Tiffany had explained
to Jane what this guy had done before showing her the printout. Jane had
stopped being mad over being turned, but now she was really mad with this
asshole for what he had done to Tiffany.
"He's turned Kevin too,
so-" said Tiffany.
"WHAT?" asked Jane.
Tiffany was about to
continue when Jane suddenly smiled uncontrollably.
She was then laughing
her ass off.
Spike and Tiffany
stared in disbelief, Tiffany eventually said "She has a point."
-~-
Daria entered Donald's
office and said "Zombies are on schedule, should be able to deploy them soon."
"Okay, what do you
propose we do when we find the bases?"
"Frankly, nuke 'em. It'll be underwater and next to most undersea
geological activity, this'll be an earwig's fart. Couple of Minutman's ought to do it, but the Skybolt's been sufficiently developed since I last heard, I'd go
with that instead, less likely to be seen by the public," said Daria.
"Official use of nukes requires
presidential authority, but if no one sees us doing it, that shouldn't be a
problem. And we have developed the Skybolt further,
Fred's nukes have allowed us to pack in a lot more firepower and improved the
impact tolerances of the weapons. I'll talk to the president about it."
"Okay, thanks ... I'd
also like to apologise for the attitude I've been giving you in the past, you
didn't deserve that, and I'll do better from now on."
Daria then left.
-~-
"See this asshole?"
asked Spike.
"No, but he's changed
tactics, hasn't he?" said Jane.
"What do you reckon?"
asked Spike.
"Walk and sniff," said
Jane, as she headed out of the Zon.
-~-
"Dr Smith, how did it
go?" asked the duty nurse for the wing.
Gwen shrugged and said
"still not having a lot of luck, Cathy's still in a world
of her own," 'and having trouble wishing that vengeance she so sorely desires.'
"She's a strange one
all right, can you believe she passed for a cop for two years? Here's me
basking in confidence," commented the nurse.
Gwen's amusement at how
she was successfully passing as a doctor while the head nurse was calling the
cops stupid for being fooled by Cathy could easily be mistaken for amusement at
how stupid the cops were, and so she went with it.
"Might have better luck
tomorrow, goodnight," she said as she headed out.
She wondered what
-~-
"Thank god that's over,
why do I keep getting paired with Reg?" asked Amber as she and Honey headed out
from the station.
"Because-" started Honey.
"-Gina Gold's a
sadistic cow cunt? Sounds right," interrupted Amber, leaving Honey looking a
bit annoyed. "So, what do you want to do now?"
"F
"What, more work? Fuck
that, let's find some blokes and get drunk with them."
"And wake up in
stringent bondage with no memory of how we got there, followed by a couple of
days of torture and get found dead, floating in the
"You're such a sourpuss
lately Honey, what's gotten into you?" asked Amanda.
Honey opened her mouth
to respond, but decided against it. Amber may be a twat, but Honey just
couldn't bring herself to have a go at her. That's what sergeants and inspectors
were for, and look what that yielded. She eventually said "nothing, let's get
drunk."
They got halfway to
their chosen pub before they heard two people run up behind them. Two boys,
late teens, wearing hoodies (one blue, one grey) and jeans, one said "where you
ladies headed?"
"Somewhere you're not,
I mean, really," said Amber.
"Easy Amber. We're
headed to the Canley arms," said Honey.
"Honey, get a clue,
they're total babies," said Amber.
"You saying we're not
man enough for you?" asked one.
"Now you've picked that
up, fuck off," said Amber.
"Well, we'll just have
to see if we're demon enough for you then," said the first one.
They then morphed their
faces somehow into this armoured, ugly ass face with yellow irises and extended
canine teeth, and grabbed at Honey and Amber.
Honey deflected the
arms of her attacker, kneeing it under the sternum and nutting him, then
punching him in the chin with her palm, before glancing at Amber, who was not
doing as well (standing there screaming while the ... whatever it was leaned in
to her neck.)
Honey kicked it in the
back of it's knee and used an elbow strike to the back of its head, this
allowed Amber to escape it's grip.
Amber, wearing high
heels, tripped as she moved back and fell on her ass.
Honey had to return her
attention to the first one again, as he was now on his feet again. She gave the
other one a kick as she moved away from Amber, hoping to keep their attention
away from her.
She beckoned the second
one to attack her, hoping he would stay on her and leave Amber.
The first one ran at
her trying to get a punch in, only for Honey to kick one of his knees sideways
and get a palm strike on the side of his head. She was reluctant to use such
moves as they could easily kill someone, but she was certain she and Amber
would die if these things weren't neutralized.
The first one went
down, but the second one got in, wrapping it's arms around Honey's waist and
tipping her backwards. Honey jumped with the force, flipping over completely,
causing the creature to lose it's grip on her. She then punched him in the face
with one palm, kneed him below the sternum, third palm strike was followed her
knee, other knee struck his ribs. She then used a palm strike to the side of
the base of his skull, this sent him down.
She held her position,
watching the creatures.
Amber just sat there
like a tramp.
"Amber?" asked Honey.
Amber looked up at her.
"Call Dispatch."
" ... Right," said Amber,
as she fished out her phone from her pocket.
But the creatures got
back up, one saying "No, that's cheating," as he moved to Amber.
Honey grabbed his head,
using his eyes to pull him backwards. The other one came at her again, she
moved to use her palm to punch him in the face, but he deflected the punch,
trapping her arm. She used her knee in his ribs and nutted him, the other one
was on his feet again. Honey used an elbow strike in his face, then under his
sternum, then she skipped up to the other one spoofing another punch before
kicking him in the face. She succeeded in drawing them both off of Amber, who
was struggling to dial the emergency number.
"Yo, this a private
party or can anyone join?" asked an obviously American voice.
Honey glanced over to
two girls, an IC1 in her
mid twenties and an IC3 in her late teens were running up to them.
Honey was about a hair
away from using a profanity now, "GET OUT OF HERE!"
"No, they can stay,"
said one of the creatures as he approached the two new girls.
Honey went for him, the
other went for Honey. Honey responded immediately by deflecting one of the
creature's arms and crushing it's trachea with a fingertip strike. She was
about to go after the other when the other turned to dust.
Honey was stunned for a
few seconds, the IC3 girl was holding a wooden stake.
The IC1 girl had moved
in on the remaining creature, Honey watched as she drove her own stake through
the creature's heart.
It too turned to dust.
The two girls twirled
their stakes and put them in the waist bands of their trousers.
After a few seconds,
the IC3 girl asked "You two okay?"
"Uh, yeah," answered
Honey, she then asked "Amber?"
Amber was still lying
on the floor, hyperventilating.
Honey then looked back
at the girls and said "We're fine, can I have your names please?"
The two new girls
looked at each other.
"This is the scene of
an incident you know," said Honey.
"No it isn't," said the
IC3 before she started to walk away.
"We were never here,"
said her friend, joining her.
"Best get your friend
home."
"Sorry, but we can't,"
said Honey as she produced her warrant card, she then said "I'm PC Harman, this
is PC Johannsen, we're going to need your names."
The IC3 indicated
herself saying "Rona Whedon," and her friend saying
"Vicky Head."
Honey instantly
remembered the names and said "Right, never mind," before helping Amber to her
feet.
"What do you mean Never
Mind? Surely we should be asking more questions," she then asked Rona "what are
you doing out at this time of night carrying offensive weapons with you?"
"Amber, their names
have come up before, remember?"
Amber tried to
remember.
Rona said to Vicky at
this point "I give you, the thin blue line."
Honey just said "Right,
thanks for helping us out there, I'll just get the nick embarrassment home now."
-~-
Jane suddenly caught a whiff
at her ten o'clock position, it was coming from an open space at the end of a
row of houses dotted with trees and backed by a forest.
She stopped and looked
around.
She started her
approach to the source.
As she approached, she
noticed another smell creeping into the mix.
This smell was highly
familiar to her because her house still hummed with it since Daria had lived
there making her weapons: RDX.
"Oh-kayyyyyyy,"
she said as she turned around looking for an OP.
Spike, Faith and
Tiffany were spread out in a line heading off from whence she had come. But if
this guy was using his scent to lure her into a trap, he had to be upwind of
that.
He would be beyond the
killing zone.
Jane signaled for Spike
and Tiffany to converge on her location.
When they got to her
Spike said "What's up?"
"I smell Barry."
"Really?"
"And RDX. Here's what I
propose, Spike, you and I split and converge beyond where I think the killing
zone is. Tiffany and Faith should split up and go that way," Jane indicated two
directions going the other way, "Faith and I will then converge on her after
we're out of line of sight. Spike, you'll actually get to the area over there. If
you see him or his probable location, continue on and call me when you leave
line of sight, then we'll all converge on him, got that?"
Everyone nodded and
headed off in their various directions.
-~-
Spike emerged on the
other side of the forest into a clearing extending twenty metres from the back
garden fences of a row of houses and looked around.
Barry knew Tiffany had
Jane, why else would he bait the killing zone with his scent?
He might not have known
that Jane knows what RDX smells like, although if he had been near her house,
he could smell it every time he was there.
That wasn't the proper
trap.
Did he also know Spike
was with Jane?
If he did, he might
have been a bad choice to send up here.
Slayers can sense
vampires, but this is due to a mystical field and the sensitivity is highly
limited, you don't get a significant spike beyond 7-10 metres.
Those houses would not
make suitable observation points, the guy had to be in the forest somewhere.
He could be in an
elevated position, that meant he could be anywhere with respect to the killing
zone. If he was high enough, his scent
would not be pulled down by turbulence as much as it would be on the ground,
that begged the question: What was his precise objective? He wanted Tiffany,
but Spike doubted he wanted her dead. He probably knew Tiffany was a slayer, having
been in a fight with her, so he could inflict greater injury on her than a
normal person to capture her.
That meant the device
or devices best suited for the trap would be fragmentation or sedative,
sedatives could end up higher in the air though, but since vampires don't need
oxygen, he could just wrap himself in plastic.
Frag would require line
of sight throughout the killing zone, multiple devices could cover the area
sufficiently, projectiles could be anything from 10mm gravel to floor nails.
Spike decided to call
Daria.
Eventually Daria
answered saying "Spike, what's up?"
"Yeah, I'd like your
opinion on something. I'm chasing a vampire who set up explosives with the
intention of incapacitating a vampire slayer, I was wondering if you had an opinion
on how this guy might use the explosives?"
"Do you know if the
vampire is using proper detonators?"
"What's the other
option?"
"The other option is to
have the explosives cook off, that is, heat them until they spontaneously
detonate, but that method offers less control, if this guy has electric
detonators and det chord, there are more options."
"What's in det chord?"
"Usually
trinitrotoluene or Pentaerythritol tetranitrate."
"Ah, I know what TNT
smells like, I've never even heard of ... penta fairy Tetley
nitrate, the killing zone appears to be in the middle of a forest."
"If I were this guy,
I'd probably set up sedative warheads on bursting charges, that would fill the
air and probably be on you before you figure out what you saw. But there are
problems, you need to have the expertise of an anesthetist. If you just want
them unable to walk and don't care that your targets are wounded, an
alternative would be to set up fragmentation devices everywhere. The velocity
of most high explosives is high enough that you can point the shrapnel wherever
you want it to go and be reasonably certain it'll go where expected. If you can
score any explosives, you can usually score enough to create a sizable killing
zone, the limiting factor's the number of detonators you have."
"And the shrapnel?"
asked Spike.
"Probably whatever's to
hand, gravel's the cheapest, but the best easily available shrapnel would be
wire nails, you can make walls of them around the charge, and have around three
and a half times the density of gravel, maybe add an anticoagulant such as
commercial rat poison to enhance blood loss, depends on how much thought he'll
put into it," said Daria.
"Okay, thanks a lot,"
said Spike.
"No problem."
-~-
Tiffany was walking
along her route, wondering how long it was going to take for one of them to
find Barry.
It was extremely
embarrassing to be facing this guy after she had been made to blow him, he
wasn't a major feature of her nightmares or flashbacks, he was just an
opportunistic twat.
That didn't stop him
being a threat in the here and now, and it's not like these guys have anything
better to do. Often vampires when sired leave normal society, becoming
vagrants, squatting wherever, attacking people for fun.
That's not always the
case of course, lots of vampires also live fairly normal lives, working normal
jobs. It seemed to depend on the circumstances of the vampire as it is sired.
Something bounced off
her right hip.
No it didn't, it punched
through.
Stupid delayed sen- "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Tiffany collapsed as she felt the
area around the arrow stuck in her hip felt like it was catching fire.
She removed the arrow
and noticed the smell of burning flesh wafting up.
This was followed by a puff
of flame out of the wound.
She patted out the
flame, and noticed the physical heat coming off the wound was ridiculously
intense.
She looked up as she
heard someone land on the floor and saw Barry straighten up and approach her,
laughing, as he pointed his crossbow at her. The loaded arrow had a glass
capsule on the side.
"That's sodium. Don't
worry, it won't enter the bloodstream, it's searing the flesh around it. But
that caustic soda will need to be dug out soon, or it will corrode through," he
said.
Tiffany was about to
reach for a stake she had concealed in the back of her trousers, but decided
against it for now. She said "Okay, you got me, now what?"
"Now, Tiffany, you're
going to amuse me, but not before my buddies bring us the body of your slayer
friend and ... well, I guess it's difficult to bring something to prove the death
of a vampire. But once we're all assembled here, you're going to strip off for
us, and fuck each of us, or you get to experience death by caustic soda
poisoning."
Tiffany fumed as she
reassessed her options.
Option one: Attack the
guy hoping he'll miss. He probably won't at this range, but he wouldn't have to
shoot as she would be unable to fight with that hole burned in her leg anyway. He'd
probably just beat the crap out of her and stick to the original plan.
Option two: Arouse and
fuck a bunch of vampires, and become their slave for however long it takes for
them to get bored of her.
The rage and nausea flared
inside her as she remembered how that was like the first time, no way did she
want a repeat of that.
That meant her only
hope was that Faith, Spike and Jane could avoid Barry's friends, whoever they
were.
"How did you get out
the first time anyway?"
Tiffany wasn't going to
answer that, she might need to do the same thing again.
"Asked you a question,
slut."
Tiffany wondered if
there was any safe way to misdirect this asshole, then eventually said "I had
help."
"Really? Who helped
you? I got the impression you were alone."
Tiffany didn't answer.
"Looking forward to
some more red hot steaming sexy action?" he asked.
Tiffany still didn't
respond.
"Talk to me, slut."
"About what? Eh? What
the fuck, would I want to talk to you about?"
"Do I care what you
want?"
"Back at ya," said Tiffany.
"You will care what I
want, just like you used to, eh? Remember that? Which hole did you like me
fucking the most? I know I liked using your asshole, and your mouth wasn't bad
either," he said, recalling how he had her lick her shit off his penis.
"You're going to die."
"Oh am I now? How you
going to do that?"
"It's a surprise," said
Tiffany.
"What you mean is you
have no way of killing me and don't want to expose this fact."
"If you like to think
that, sure."
"What about Kevin, your
school's quarterback? You must have fantasized about him a lot."
"I'd sooner turn gay,
and that's when he was alive," said Tiffany.
Barry chuckled and said
"I'll tell him you said that, and let him soften you up," just before his phone
rang.
He pulled it and
answered it, "Hello?"
"Hi, I'm from the
Schwartz herbs and spices company, I'm conducting a survey, do you use our
brand of garlic powder?"
"No, fuck off, I'm
expecting a call," said Barry as he hung up.
"Hmm, telemarketers,
huh?"
"Yeah, I might have
subscribed to Asian Torment if I had given up on finding you again," said
Barry.
"Call that a taunt?
Come on, man, step it up a little."
"Alright, this time,
your captivity will be filthier than ever, gonna slap you silly, torture you
out of your mind, turn you into the worst emotional wreck ever made. And now
you're an active slayer, the number of things we can do to you have expanded. You
thought it was bad before, imagine being ass fucked while you're lying there
with no intact bones? Imagine getting your fractured ribs moved around while
everyone's cumming on your face?"
"Weak," said Tiffany.
"No, you're just trying
to get me to spare you with a quick and clean mercy killing, well, that's not
going to happen."
There was suddenly a
noise off to Barry's left, he brought his crossbow to bear on the source of the
noise.
Then there were a
series of gunshots from behind Tiffany that struck Barry in the elbows.
Barry dropped the
crossbow as he cried out in pain.
"Made you look," Jane
said.
"You alright Tiffany?"
asked Faith as she emerged from behind, aiming a Jatimatic
at Barry.
"Yeah, apart from an
arrow wound that got contaminated with SODIUM!" said Tiffany as she stood up
and approached Barry.
Barry stepped back,
unable to use his hands to pick up the crossbow.
"He looks a little
strong kneed to me," said Tiffany.
Faith kneecapped the
vampire.
Tiffany then pulled a
can of lighter fluid out of her pocket saying "I apparently don't have the time
to come up with a really elaborate punishment," she picked up the crossbow with
the other hand, and flipped open the nozzle of the can as she continued "so I'm
just going to set you on fire and laugh at you as you burn."
"No, Tiffany, we can
discuss this, you don't have to do this."
"Okay, if you can prove
to me you've learned your lesson and promise not to come after me again, I'll
let you go?"
Barry looked hopeful.
"Nah, I'm just fucking
with you," said Tiffany as she started squirting lighter fluid all over Barry.
"Aww come on, I'll be
good from now on."
"Sure you will," said
Tiffany, halfway through the can.
No one said anything
else as Barry tried to figure out a way to argue his way out of this.
Eventually the can was
exhausted, Tiffany threw the can into Barry and she looked at the crossbow.
"RX 150, nice weapon there.
Draw strength's a little low for us, but I think I'll keep it," she said as she
aimed it at Barry's neck and fired.
Barry started to cry.
"Oh look, crocodile
tears," said Tiffany, as she laughed a little.
Tiffany checked her
watch.
Barry's flesh around
the wound sizzled and eventually there was a puff of flame, this then spread
all over Barry.
"SLEEP NOW IN THE
FIRE!" Tiffany sang, making a show of her mirth as Barry burned.
He then turned to dust.
"Better?" asked Faith.
"Much ... let's go find a
hospital, Barry's goons give you much trouble?" asked Tiffany as she slung the
crossbow.
"Never encountered
them," said Jane, "Got a call from Robodaria though."
-~-
Daria thought about the
phonecall she had just received from Spike.
She then decided to
call Robodaria, see if she could help.
-~-
"Standby," said
Robodaria as she accessed the CIA and NSA satellite constellations, the local
cell phone networks.
She quickly identified
a number of phones that were being carried around by vampires, these were close
enough to Spike, Jane, Faith and Tiffany's numbers to be considered bandits.
One was right next to Tiffany, the 10mm radar indicated he was pointing a
crossbow at Tiffany, she concluded this guy was their leader.
So she called that one
first in order to sample his voice.
"Hi, I'm from the
Schwartz herbs and spices company, I'm conducting a survey, do you use our
brand of garlic powder?"
"No, fuck off, I'm
expecting a call."
As soon as he had hung
up, Robodaria called the other X-rays.
"Yo!"
"Hello?" "Jeffy here." "Jamie here."
The nice thing about
having a number of central processors in the gigahertz range was she could hold
up to 2000 conversations at once.
"Tiffany got away, go
north 2000 metres and set up an ambush, now."
"No problemo."
"On it." "Okay." "Roger, going north."
She watched them via
the reconnaissance satellites as she then made contact with Jane, Faith and
Spike.
"Spike, the others will
need transport soon, get the explorer to the end of Bletchley road."
"Okay."
"Jane, Tiffany's been
captured, I have control, head east and standby to make a noise."
"Gotcha."
"Faith, Tiffany's been
captured, I have control, head north, Jane will divert the X-Ray, we'll then
need you to incapacitate him." "Have that."
Robodaria then directed
them up to their FAPs, telling them when to slow
down.
"I have sight of the
X-ray now, he has a crossbow pointed at Tiffany, I can't tell if Tiffany's
restrained," said Faith.
"Have that, she doesn't
appear to be, but there's a lot of heat pouring out of a wound in her leg, she
may have been injured, you will attack when he looks away," said Robodaria.
"Acknowledged, out," said Faith as she hung up.
"Jane, are you ready to
make a noise?" asked Robodaria.
"Yeah, I'll break a few
sticks, not very imaginative, but it should do you."
"Okay, standby ... ... and
Go."
-~-
"That's going to leave
quite a scar," said the doctor.
"Hmm, might be cool to
freak out the other beachgoers," commented Tiffany as the doctor set up the
equipment. "What's the treatment doc?"
"Remove the visible
crystals by suction and prodding, then rinse out the wound with water, then use
maggots to remove the cooked flesh, removal of the sodium hydroxide should take
about two hours tops, maggots will need a couple of days to remove the cooked
flesh, it would be a good idea to keep you in during your treatment, once the
way is cleared, I'll be stitching across the void to try to cause the flesh to heal
across, if it works, the void should close and you should be able to rebuild
the muscle mass, that'll leave the crater in the skin, a little silicone should
cover that up, but if you put on or lose weight, then the silicone will not
expand or contract with it, so might be best to leave that."
"Okay, best get started
then," said Tiffany.
-~-
Buffy and Aiden entered
Geoff's office. "You wanted the results of the investigation?"
"Yes."
"Okay, we've turned up
some interesting facts," said Buffy. "First off, Sudan, you must have heard
what's happening there with the Janjaweed militias going around acting like
SchutzStaffel death squads - those are the Sudanese being attacked by slayers.
"I see," said Geoff,
"you do realize this will undermine any diplomatic efforts? We're going to look
like a bunch of megalomaniacs, tell me you're taking measures to stop this
happening."
Buffy was stunned into
silence.
"Miss Summers, what are
you doing to reel in these rogue agents?"
"Okay, you did hear
that bit about the targets being bad guys, that is, death squads, marauding
freelance gangsters going around torturing people? We're the good guys, letting
the bad guys have their way is so counter intuitive, it's like accepting the
world view that the earth is this disc on the back of a giant turtle," said
Buffy.
"Irrelevant, you're
breeching international law," said Geoff.
"Says a proponent of
Operation Iraqi Freedom," said Buffy, now getting really angry.
"YOU WATCH YOUR TONE
MISS SUMMERS, I WANT THE ROGUES STOPPED NOW! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?"
"I'm sorry, depraved
indifference is off the menu-" started Buffy.
"Understood," said
Aiden as he grabbed Buffy's wrist and the back of her neck, turning her towards
the door, saying "Not our fight," and marching her out before she could even
respond, Buffy asking him to let her go.
As soon as he was sure
they were far enough away to discuss this quietly, he released Buffy and got
clear before Buffy could smack him across the face.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
ABOUT? YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY THINK THIS IS RIGHT!"
"I don't, I agree with
you something should be done about the death squads," said Aiden.
"Then ..." Buffy found
herself calming as she realized Aiden was thinking up a solution, "I suppose
you have a suggestion."
"Yes. But if you want
forces in
"What are we talking
here? Plausible deniability?"
"Exactly, the same
techniques
Buffy eventually nodded,
and said "Okay, but if you like being able to walk, never man handle me like
that again."
"Fair enough," said
Aiden.
-~-
"Robodaria, we're at
the last known location, and there is no sign of them," said Spike.
Jane was walking up the
road where the footprints had stopped, but the mud wasn't that damp and had run
out very quickly.
She was now guessing
the course, but she noticed a bus stop.
"Spike, where does the fifty
two go?"
Robodaria had heard
Jane and told Spike "Standby ... got it's transponder locked, it's off it's
route."
-~-
Spike and Jane arrived to investigate the abandoned bus.
It wasn't abandoned... the bus was filled with corpses.
"Whoa - 'vamp kegger'... yeah, they've all been drained of blood," Jane said, letting the limp head of a dead elderly woman slump back down upon her chest. "How many of them do you think they turned?"
"Dunno," Spike said, before he noticed something. Stepping
off the bus, he walked off to the side of the road, and noticed a trio of
footprints headed away from the scene... one of those sets left a bloody footprint
with each left step.
He walked back
over, and hopped back onto the bus. "But I got us a lead."
"Sweet," said Jane, drawing a grenade from the frumpy bag she carried. "Time to nip tomorrow's troubles in the bud."
"What's that -
incendiary grenade?"
"Thermite. With a burster," said Jane.
"You and Daria. The pair of you are fuckin' mental," said Spike, grinning.
Jane smiled as she tossed the grenade to Spike, and then selected another for herself. They exited the bus and following Jane's lead, Spike pulled the pin on his grenade and threw his through a window, the grenades ending up a quarter from each end of the bus.
Two bright flashes silhouetted Jane and Spike as they walked away from the portable abattoir; the thermite grenades detonated within a heartbeat of one another, flinging droplets of white-hot molten iron throughout the bus's interior and consuming the corpses inside in a mushrooming cloud of absolute heat.
-~-
"Aww,
come on," said Jane as she was unable to find any more blood scent to follow.
"What's around here?"
asked Spike.
"Not Kevin's place, he
lives miles from here, we're nowhere near Tiffany's, or Daria's ... " Jane picked
up the phone and dialed Robodaria. "We need the address of Michael Jordan
Mackenzie, and then we need directions from our location."
-~-
Jane and Spike arrived
on site.
Jane knocked on the
door.
Eventually Mrs.
Mackenzie answered and asked "Yeah?"
"Have Kevin and three
other boys passed through here?" asked Jane as she indicated the inside of the
house, simultaneously checking that everyone was alive, she found the field was
still up, but she wasn't sure if Mack would still be causing it from afar.
"Yes, they're with my
husband out back."
"Mind if we come in?"
"No, come on in," said
Mrs. Mackenzie.
Jane and Spike entered
and continued through until they reached a window with a view to the back yard.
Where Kevin, Joey,
Jeffy and Jamie were throwing a rugby ball between them and Mr. Mackenzie.
Jane and Spike were
stunned by the situation, was Mr. Mackenzie also a vampire? Had these guys had
enough time for that to have happened? Jane got a little mirror out and
checked, but Mr. Mackenzie had a reflection, which looked a touch strange
throwing the ball around without anyone around to throw it to.
"Mrs. Mackenzie, are
you aware that the four boys playing with your husband are vampires?"
-~-
"The Mackenzie parents
are surprisingly strong, by the time we got out into the street, Kevin and the
stalkers of Quinn were long gone," said Jane.
Daria nodded. "They're
about as bright as a black hole without anything to eat. You'll get them."
"Yeah, Daria, are you
certain about sending Tiffany off on this mission?" asked Jane.
"Absolutely. It'll be
good for her, and it's time I started laying down the law. I am her commander,
after all," said Daria.
"Right, and I suppose
you wouldn't have lost it like she did?"
"That's correct, there
are perfectly easy ways to disrupt evil plans of this nature without making a
twat of yourself. I've argued my way out of some real shit pies in my time."
"Okay," said Jane,
"just be careful with Tiffany. She feels guilty, but if you overextend your
credit, she'll react. I know she's caused problems, but be careful."
Daria was silent for a
moment of contemplation. "Okay."
-~-
"We are here today to
bid farewell to Sandi Griffin, a young woman who died well before her time, by
a disturbed maniac who wasn't even interested in her primarily. She did not
harm anyone, she had not set out to cause pain or suffering, and she will be
missed by all who knew her," said the cleric.
Nobody said anything.
There was no doubt
about who was to blame for Sandi's death: Kirsty Kramer.
Tiffany hated the fact
that thoughts of Kirsty kept intruding in on her thoughts when this moment was
SUPPOSED to be about Sandi, the dead girl in the maroon box with blue trim
resting on two woven polypropylene straps above a hole in the ground.
But Kirsty WAS the
reason Sandi was dead. She didn't do it by herself, and in fact, Tiffany had
seen the video, so her last image of Sandi was of her on her knees with Kirsty's hand in her mouth shoving the corrosive material
down her throat with the express intention of causing her to die painfully on
camera.
To make Tiffany obsess
over how much she hated Kirsty.
And it was working.
Still.
There was also the
point that Tiffany had introduced the threat when she had encountered that Klan
cell when she had run off that night.
There's no way she
could have predicted that would happen, so why was that still an issue for her?
Because humans have
this blame culture going on, where you HAVE to blame someone.
So why couldn't she
blame the Klan and leave it at that?
Because they've been
around for ages and it was Tiffany that had struck the hornet's nest?
Except she couldn't have
know- 'Oh for fuck's sake, give it a fucking rest brain, or I'll nut the first
tombstone I walk past ... I will, I'll fucking do it ... ... '
Tiffany sighed and
realized the cleric had reached then end of his sermon and hit the button, and
Sandi's coffin started its descent.
-~-
"Weren't you going to
read a eulogy?" asked Quinn as they waited for their drinks at the bar where
the wake was being held.
"Was, but I couldn't
start it," said Tiffany.
"How come?"
Tiffany sighed as she
picked up her drink, a pint of whiskey, and after taking a long sip, she said
"I felt I owed it to Sandi not to allow her funeral to become a rant about
Kirsty, and how Sandi died was about the only thing I could think about, so it
seemed best not to write one at all under those circumstances."
"Maybe her funeral
should have been delayed," said Quinn as she picked up her pint of whiskey.
"Morgue's gotta move
bodies, plus I'm doing that deep cover assignment starting tomorrow, probably
best she got buried before she started growing mushrooms," said Tiffany.
"This sucks," said
Quinn as she gulped down a couple of mouthfuls of whiskey.
After a sip, Tiffany
said "You do realize that without Slayer powers, you're gonna be hammered in
about five minutes if you keep up that rate?"
"Yeah? Watch as I
vigorously fail to care," said Quinn as she gulped down another mouthful.
Tiffany shrugged and
took another sip.
Then after about ten
seconds of thought, she chugged the remainder of the glass, and returned it to
the barkeep saying "same again."
-~-
Jake and Tom Griffin
were looking through a photo album of Sandi's life.
"Most of her life was
spent in conflict with Sam and Chris, Linda supported Sandi against me, and it
was my responsibility to keep Sam and Chris under control, we needed to have a
united front, but we ended up creating sides."
"Wasn't that different
with Daria and Quinn, except Helen worked on both of them and I stayed neutral
anytime things looked heated," said Jake, "All I know is that Sandi was a great
help to Quinn, after Lawndale got blown up and their mothers died."
"Quinn's been good for
Sandi too, although I daren't say that around Linda when she was alive, She and
your Helen-"
"Tom and Jerry," said
Jake.
"Itchy and Scratchy,"
said Tom.
"Itchy and Scratchy?"
asked Jake.
"You'd have to watch
The Simpsons," said Tom.
"Right."
-~-
Jane and Spike ordered
their drinks, "One pint of Jack/Daniels and one orange juice."
Jane looked annoyed for
a second, then remembered she was pregnant and said "Right," patting her
abdomen as she leaned against the bar.
"Sorry about that,"
said Spike, "had I known about Conner, I wouldn't have gone bareback inside
you."
"I know, I just wish I
could get drunk, I mean, everyone else can get bladdered."
"Yeah, but you can't
make it a clean kill, you need to look after the kid," said Spike.
"If it gets beyond a
certain point, I don't think I'll be able to face terminating it. I mean, an
embryo, sure, early stage foetus, but the more it looks like a person, you
know?"
"Yeah, of course you
know my position on abortion in general, but it's your soul."
"You mean it's my
body," said Jane.
Spike didn't answer.
-~-
"I find this gathering
tiresome," said
"Yeah, I imagine you
do, but this helps those who knew Sandi," said Daria.
"I didn't."
"No, but Stacy did, anything
from your shells memories got anything complimentary about Sandi?" asked Daria.
Daria thought about
this and eventually said "Perhaps you should think less Klingon and more ... ... ...
Talk to Quinn," said Daria as she went off in search of Jane.
-~-
"You'd think wasting
some of the cone heads would do something for us," commented Jane.
Spike didn't respond.
Jane glanced over to
Spike.
"But I guess it's
vengeance that got us into this in the first place," said Jane.
Still no response.
"Did I mention that
I've been slipping you roofies and videotaping you
while Wesley had hot passionate sex with your unconscious body?"
Still nothing.
"Oh-kayyyyy,"
said Jane.
-~-
"You are heavily
intoxicated," observed
Quinn giggled and said
"Yeah? What are you, my mom? No, you're just some demon who replaced my friend,
you know?"
"I noticed you didn't
grieve as much for Stacy Rowe," said
"Yeah, it was probably
the weirdness of you pretending to be her for so long and the lack of
familiarity with the supernatural that sort of, let me down gently, but that's
pretty fucked, innit?" asked Quinn.
"I wasn't new to this,
and even I got thrown by it," said Tiffany.
"Yeah, but what does
that make us, huh?"
"Hypocrites," said
"Yeah, and what about
you
"I used to be in charge.
In my day, calling me evil would have resulted in your death," said
"You starting then?"
asked Quinn.
"Fuck's sake,"
commented Tiffany as she took another sip.
"You intend to fight
me?" asked
"You chicken?"
"What do you intend to
do? Regurgitate on me?"
Quinn threw a punch.
Then another.
Then another.
Ignoring the punches
Quinn was throwing,
"Yeah, would have,
except I decided it would be better to give her ... Plus our bosses wouldn't have
been able to cover up my involvement, Kirsty was defenceless, no longer a
threat, once you take the threat prisoner, the rules change."
"But your judicial
system has capitol punishment, would you not have been within your rights to
have killed her?"
"Yeah, well, department
of justice tends to throw a tantrum if they can't get a piece of the action. Also,
extrajudicial executions on coast to coast telly can
scare the punters and make things difficult for our bosses, which means myself,
plus others on our team, could get done for it," said Tiffany.
"Your so called
democracy is ineffective anyway. The only viable candidates are the ones with
the money to afford the airtime to advertise at up coming elections, the only
people who really get to choose who becomes your leaders are those with the
money to support them. The two biggest competing brands from whatever
industries exist will back a candidate they know will do their bidding."
"Hmm," commented
Tiffany.
"This amuses you?"
"Can't say they made a
very good choice with this twat, longer we go with him in charge, the less
seriously the world takes this country as any kind of leader."
"Bush isn't the
problem, he's a puppet, but not of industry."
"Eh?"
"Your Secretary Of
Defence, Donald, he's the person your president looks to for advice, his
emotions are consistent with those of a megalomaniac who cares about keeping us
under control but seems to be perfectly fine with us losing to a certain extent.
He manipulates the situation so we're just the right amount of losing without
it becoming a major defeat."
"There are a whole load
of conspiracy theories floating around about 9/11."
"I managed to ask just
the right question about that day, and he broadcast a smug glee in response, he
considers the day an unparalleled success."
"Hmm ... "
Quinn struggled against
the apparently iron grip
"Notice how that demon
invasion in LA got discounted as a slight glitch whenever we talk to Donald?"
"Of course I have,"
said Illyria, "We're in the same position now as we were when Angel
Investigations was in charge of their
"I got to wonder, the Wolf,
Ram and Hart at the centre of all of this, what do you know of them?"
"They are essentially
psychic parasites that feed off of evil impulses of humans. In my time there
weren't enough humans around for them to get much out of them, but since us old
ones were kicked off the face of the earth, and humans took over, their
strength has grown considerably."
"What about Pylea? They
have a presence there, and almost no humans with any power to be evil with."
"Not yet, they wish to
expand into Pylea."
"Ah, right, so their
presence would come long after humans overthrow the demons and start doing
their very own evil," said Tiffany.
"Ughhh,
they're like some sort of parasite," said Quinn.
"I mentioned this
earlier," said
"Hence them
manipulating the situation so that they have the maximum of evil to feed off
of," commented Tiffany, she then said "Are they vulnerable to anything?"
"They are immortal and
invincible, the more evil energy they receive, the more they can do," said
"Well, that's me filled
with optimism," said Tiffany.
"They can still be
defeated, if those who do evil are afraid to act, their power will diminish
steadily."
"So the best we can
hope for is to keep their power below a certain threshold?" asked Tiffany.
"Not quite, if their
influence can be reduced sufficiently and all their support eliminated, they
can be bound to objects that can then be contained in a magical shield such as
ferrite."
"And that can then be
resistance welded closed and placed somewhere safe for eternal storage," said
Tiffany.
"Correct," said
"Winifred's a
physicist, she might have some ideas," said Tiffany.
-~-
Jane was getting
increasingly annoyed with the silent treatment Spike was still giving her.
"Okay, Spike,
seriously, what the FUCK is your problem?"
"MY PROBLEM? TRY YOUR
PROBLEM, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO KILL YOUR BABY."
"Okay, let's ban
abortion, at least that'll curb illegal immigration, because everyone will be
trying to sneak into
"Oh, so this is about money
is it?"
"IT'S ALSO ABOUT MY
RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT GOES ON IN MY OWN BODY-"
"AND WHAT ABOUT THE
BABY'S RIGHT TO DECIDE IF IT GETS TO LIVE?"
"IT'S NOT EVEN
CONSCIOUS YET!"
"JANE, YOU JUST DON'T
GET IT."
"NO, YOU DON'T GET IT!"
"JANE, YOU HAVE AN
"YEAH, I HAVE AN
OPPORTUNITY TO EITHER DIE OR FOREVER CARRY A PRISTINE BABY CADAVER FOR THE REST
OF TIME, YOU LIKE THIS BABY SO MUCH, MAYBE WE SHOULD SWAP BODIES, I'M SURE
WESLEY WOULD BE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO LEND US THE DRACONIAN KATRA."
"HEY, LITTLE RESPECT
FOR THE DEAD GIRL WE'RE MOURNING HERE?" Shouted Tom Griffin.
"HEY, YOU KEEP OUT OF
THIS, THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION!" shouted Spike.
"THAT YOU'RE HAVING AT
THREE THOUSAND DECIBELS!" Shouted Quinn, who was still struggling against
"GET FUCKED!" shouted
Spike.
"HEY!" shouted Jake as
he approached Spike, "NO ONE TELLS MY DAUGHTER TO GET FUCKED."
"YEAH? COME ON THEN,"
said Spike as he approached Jake back.
Jake threw a punch, but
Spike interrupted and struck Jake with his palm.
Jake staggered back and
Quinn kicked Spike in the ribs.
Spike smacked Quinn
across the left temple with the back of his fist.
"HEY! WATCH IT!" Shouted
Tiffany.
"What you gonna do
about it?" asked Spike.
Tiffany put her drink
down on the bar and walked over Spike and spoofed a punch before kicking Spike
under the sternum sending him flying.
"Right, you're going
down," said Spike as he stomped back over to Tiffany and they started really
going at it.
Quinn got up and almost
fell over, Jane caught her, and she freaked out, "GET OFF ME!"
"Easy Quinn," said Jane
as Quinn started hitting her.
"GET OFF ME, GET OFF
ME, GET OFF ME!!!"
Jane held her hands
clear as Quinn continued her attack.
She then noticed Quinn
was sweating a certain kind of pheromone.
"Ooooooh
fuck," she commented.
Jake approached and
asked "What's wrong Quinn?"
He reached to grab
Quinn but Jane grabbed his wrist first and looked into his eyes. He took the
hint that he shouldn't touch her and stepped back.
Eventually Quinn fell
exhausted to her knees and vomited on Jane's feet.
Jane signaled Jake to
continue to hold as she watched Quinn, who remained on her knees for some time.
Jane then crouched in
front of Quinn and said "in case you're in any doubt there, you're safe."
"I know, I just ... I
thought the flashbacks had stopped ages ago."
"I think it's the
getting absolutely shitfaced might have tripped you up there," commented Jane.
"Could be," admitted
Quinn, "Sorry about the boots."
"Eh, it'll help me acclimatize
to certain aspects of motherhood," said Jane.
Eventually Quinn said
"I think I should go home now," as she stood up.
"Okay, I'll drive you,"
said Jane as she started to lead Quinn out.
"What about them two?"
asked Jake indicating Tiffany and Spike who were still going at it.
"Do you want to get
between those two?" asked Jane.
"God no," said Jake.
"Eh, they'll be fine.
Unless Tiffany pulls a stake, in which case I'll make her wish she hadn't. I'll
be back," said Jane as she led Quinn out the door.
Jane sat Quinn in the
forward passenger seat of the car.
She caught the
reflection just in time to react, she spun around deflecting the boy's stake
and wrapping her arm around his. She managed to kick his far knee out and get
him on the floor before he twisted around and kick the back of her head.
The impact was
insufficient to do more than send her forwards, she went with it and flipped
over onto her feet before he came at her again.
"Excuse me, I'm one of
the good guys?"
"Without a reflection."
"I have a soul."
"You could be just
saying that."
"Yeah, I could ... Where
have I seen you before?"
"Me? ... I was on TV a
couple of times with Jasmine and then when I went nuts and took a shop full of
people hostage."
Jane snapped her
fingers and said "Conner Reilly."
-~-
Part 4
-~-
"Okay, you want to
drink this slowly or you'll puke again," said Jane as she handed Quinn a glass
of water with a couple of aspirins dissolved in it.
Quinn mumbled "okay,"
as she accepted the glass and started to sip it.
Jane hadn't sat Quinn
down because if she did, Quinn would probably fall asleep there, and Jane
wanted to get her into bed first.
Turning to Conner, Jane
asked "So you met Spike when you were brought to Wolfram and Hart by your
parents?"
"Yeah, he and Angel
were arguing a lot. It was funny."
"Angel was your dad,
wasn't he?"
"Yeah, only recently
found out."
"Yeah, seemed we were
under some sort of memory spell, my mom lifted it."
"Yeah, so I gather,
confused the shit out of me," said Conner, "two sets of memories, one growing
up with the Reillys, the other growing up in an evil
dimension with a vengeance seeking nut case who used me to exact vengeance
against my dad. I decided to chain up my dad and drop him in the ocean, took
Wesley three months to find him, then a whole bunch of other dumb shit
happened. I ended up aligning myself with Jasmine, who was both my daughter and
a demon entity from another dimension, but that didn't quite work out either,
so now, here I am."
"Wow ... Heard your mom
died giving birth."
"Had to stake herself
because of a mystical shield or something that was stopping me coming out, and
a cesarean wasn't going to happen either."
"Hmm," said Jane
looking annoyed.
"I was told Darla didn't
have a soul."
"Yeah, but I was hoping
there was a way of getting around that mystical barrier without resorting to
suicide," said Jane as she felt her uterus through her abdomen.
Conner thought about
what she was doing and said "you're pregnant?"
"Yeah ... might not have
happened if Spike had heard of you, thought that being vampires, we didn't need
to use condoms."
"Where is Spike?"
"Still at the pub, left
him in a fight with Tiffany."
"Tiffany, the girl that
was in that death match with that conehead?"
"Yeah, she's a vampire
slayer, so was the conehead apparently."
"Thought there were
only supposed to be two, or one."
"Used to, but a witch
with a mystical axe changed all that, now any girl that can be a slayer is a
slayer, all the potential slayers got activated."
"Ah, right. ... And one
potential was in the Ku Klux Klan?"
"Yeah, you'd think
these powers would know the difference between good and evil."
"Faith didn't for a
while."
"Yeah, I keep hearing
about that."
"Well, being a vampire
with a soul means you have, like, hundreds of years of evil to make up for."
"Not for me, my mom
stuck my soul back in before I could do anything embarrassing ... ... Hmm."
"What?"
"Something I need to
talk to Spike about, soon as I get this one to bed I'm headed back to the pub."
"Finished," said Quinn.
"Okay," said Jane as
she looked under a sink and found a plastic bucket, she grabbed that and helped
Quinn up the stairs.
"I don't feel too
good," said Quinn.
"That's alcohol
poisoning for you," said Jane as she positioned Quinn on her side on the bed,
she placed the basin next to her saying "If you're awake enough and find you're
about to puke, do it in this, okay?"
"Okay," said Quinn.
"Right, I'll be off
then."
-~-
Jane and Conner entered
the pub where the fight was still ongoing. Lots of furniture had been broken,
and everyone was just standing off to the side watching while calmly discussing
their various concerns.
"SPIKE," called Jane.
"YEAH? ... Conner?"
Spike's distracted state was suddenly taken advantage of by Tiffany who nutted
him in the cheek. After stumbling sideways for a little bit he said "Oww. Tiffany, give me a minute would you?"
"You'll get second
wind."
"No' you'll get second
wind, I'll just stop hurting slightly," said Spike.
Tiffany nodded and
backed off.
"What'ya
doing here Conner?" asked Spike as he approached.
"Just got these
memories back, and I remembered your face and voice off the news. Semester
doesn't start for a while, so I came over."
"Right, so ... ... Your
dad," realized Spike.
"Yeah, tried finding
him, but I couldn't, so I came over here."
"Afraid he's dead, I
mean, pile of dust dead not vampire dead."
"When did this happen?"
"That apocalypse we had
a few months ago, Apparently Marcus killed him."
"Marcus," snarled Conner.
"He's dead too now."
"Pile of dust dead?"
"Vaporised dead."
"I was hoping he'd
suffered."
"He fell onto the
street out of the CEO's office, he may have realized that if he fell
unconscious, my next shot would kill him," said
"Fell out the ... quite a
drop."
"Unfortunately people
tried to help him as I took my next shot, I had to accept the collateral damage
or delay killing him for another time," said
"Right," said Conner,
looking disturbed.
"This distresses you,"
said
"Yes," said Conner.
"It angered the others
when I returned with the news."
"What about you, did
you have an issue with it?"
"No, we needed Marcus
dead, and that demon army was going to kill a lot of people on the side anyway,
and I have many times advised you people that to win a war-"
"-Serve no master but
your ambition," interrupted Spike.
"It is true that you
should try to minimize the body count to your primary targets, but occasionally
you have to be prepared to accept the side effects."
"So, if you were to be
taken hostage and the consequences of not going in was the destruction of an
entire city, you'd be fine with us killing you to get to the bad guys, would
you?"
"Of course not, and I
don't maintain any delusions that those people that tried to help Marcus were
fine with me killing them along with him. I simply ran out of more acceptable
options."
"As simple as, huh?"
asked Spike.
"As simple as,"
affirmed
"We fighting or what?"
asked Tiffany.
Spike held up a finger
to signal 'wait' as he said "I suppose I'm the only one who has a problem
then."
"Because you've spent
hundreds of years doing unspeakable evil and are alarmed that those around you
don't seem to realize just how lucky they are to have a shot at something you
no longer have," said Jane.
Spike looked at her
funny.
"We can discuss this
when we get home tonight."
"Right," said Spike.
He then turned back to
Tiffany and they re-engaged.
-~-
Jane and Spike
eventually got home and they microwaved a couple of
mugs of blood.
"Was I right?" asked
Jane.
"Yes, you're right."
"I did have a scare
just before the second bringer war kicked off, but it turned out it was just
the First Evil fucking with me."
"Right ... Jane, I don't
think you want to know what I got up to when I was evil."
"Think I'll hate you
for it?"
"Well ... No, not really,
it's just embarrassing."
"Like how Tiffany felt
about what happened between her and Quinn?" asked Jane.
"Yeah."
"I take it this 'evil'
is 'Uday Hussein
putting the frighteners on the people of
"And then some."
"But you're not going
to pull that shit again, are you?"
"No."
"Then I don't think
it's going to be a problem, I mean you're a different person altogether without
a soul, right?"
"Yeah ... There are just
problems with the reliability of a vampires soul is all."
"What kind of
problems?"
"Angel occasionally
lost his soul, this was down to a moment of perfect happiness usually,
sometimes just from a euphoria inducing drug. That doesn't seem to be a problem
for us, but if you were to ever lose your soul ... ... you're an artist, you do
sculptures, that passion for your craft could translate into a load of
extremely grizzly murders."
"I see. ... I threatened
to inject Amy Madison with several millilitres of capsaicin recently, so I get
what you mean. It's pretty scary actually."
The microwave completed
the impulse and the vampires removed the mugs from it and started to drink
their blood.
"I suppose if Conner
found out I want to abort mine, he'd probably take it personally."
"That he would. ... Also,
I'm it's father, so ... ... Never thought I'd have a chance to start a family."
"That the reason you've
been so against me trying to abort?" asked Jane.
"No, it's something I
just thought of. If it's going to kill you though, I'd rather have you around
than it."
"Appreciated,"
acknowledged Jane.
"But the kid is a piece
of both of us, now it exists, I ... I just can't ... ... I mean, it's your body, but
it's my kid inside it," said Spike.
"Also appreciated,"
said Jane.
"There's also your
soul. We're pretty much immune to most things humans aren't, but you could
still be killed one day, and there's places I'd rather you not end up."
"Hmm ... Hard thought to
get used to, Hell being real ... and in more flavours
than Wine Gums."
"Had a taster when I
encountered Matthias
Pavayne while I was a ghost at Wolfram And Hart."
"How did that go?"
asked Jane.
Spike tilted his head
and said "Hmm ... torture, pain, general all around nastiness. ... Have you ever
been tortured? Raped? Anything where you were held down and attacked in some
way?"
Jane eventually said
"No, I haven't ... Tiffany tried to stake me a couple of times, but what you're
describing is something I can't imagine."
"And I don't want you
to have to experience that, not for a second, especially not a fucking
eternity."
Jane nodded and drank
some more blood, Spike also took a sip of his.
"You said something
earlier about it being harder to be willing to terminate your pregnancy the
more developed the foetus was?" asked Spike.
"Yeah," said Jane.
"I have to admit I feel
the same, if it were at the embryo stage, it would be less of a problem for me,
but then it's still a human life we're taking."
"I've read up on
pregnancy quite a bit since I found myself with child, it seems most people
trying to get pregnant fail to do so because the woman is so stressed trying to
get everything just right that her system is filled with stress hormones, and
she self aborts without realizing it's even happening, then gets even more
distressed over her seeming impotence. Seems there's a natural process for it."
"Hmm ... inapplicable as
it is in our case, there's also supposed to be this bible passage that supports
abortion before the embryo embeds," said Spike.
"Bible also says
something about not letting witches live, so considering my mom's a witch,
Bible can get fucked," said Jane.
They both drank more
blood in silence.
"How the fuck did they
know what an embryo was back then?" asked Jane.
"What?" asked Spike.
"The Bible Writers,
they predate anything that could have been used to work out that an Ova
exists."
"Oh ... ... Dunno."
-~-
Tiffany awoke at the
sound of her alarm and sat up.
Today she was going on
her mission.
It was going to be
months before she would be able to return to
There was still a bunch
of questions she had that weren't going to be answered until her briefing.
This annoyed her
immensely, they wanted her to infiltrate the fucking triads, and she had no
idea how she was going to do this.
One thing was for
certain, if they wanted her to play the part of a prostitute, Daria would get
to see her heart getting ripped out of her chest just before she dies.
-~-
"You're going to
attract the attention of this guy, Lia Nuuron, a
Triad pimp," said Daria.
Tiffany looked around
the room full of federal agents and said "Daria, just because I'm in a room
full of federal agents doesn't mean I'm not going to kill you if this is going
where I THINK it's going."
"You'd be unlikely to
learn anything interesting as a prostitute, so that's not what we're thinking.
You'll attract his attention, he'll take you home to his brothel, what happens
next will go one of two ways, you'll either get a job as a frightener or guard,
or you will really piss them off and become their most important target, either
would be acceptable but you're more likely to work your way up the chain of
command if you become a hit man and the important guys get arrested or
otherwise neutralized," said Daria.
"If I become a target?"
asked Tiffany.
"You'll keep killing
Triad enforcers and make them move large amounts of money for top notch
assassins and mercenaries, make them do something we can possibly trace to key
triads."
"This is what makes
this complicated," said Agent Craig Hiller as he interrupted Daria, "as National
Security agents, you're authorized to break the law an awful lot, but we can't,
so officially, we don't know this is happening. Your 'anonymous tips' will put
us in a position to start acquiring evidence that will help us convict the
triads, we think that the local police forces may have been infiltrated or
corrupted."
"So they don't know
we're doing this, do they?"
"No they don't. If they
decide to arrest you, it'll be up to you to resist arrest, but if you do get
arrested, the triads may hire a lawyer to help get you out, or bribe the cops
into releasing you."
"We have observed no
such history of unexplained releases or acquittals, everything looked like it
was above board, so best not get arrested," said Daria.
"Okay then, so I go in
as a runaway, walk off with a stranger, and hurt the guy when he tries to make
me into one of his whores and see where it goes from there?"
"Exactly. Then send us
any intelligence you come across, and we'll work out what to do from there.
We'll have to delay action against these individuals for some time to avoid
compromising your identity."
"How am I to
communicate this intelligence?" asked Tiffany.
"That'll be explained
as you insert," said Daria.
Tiffany looked in
expectance of further explanation.
When none was
forthcoming, Tiffany nodded and asked "Anything else?"
"Just your costume and
props," said Daria.
-~-
Michelle Dushku (Tiffany's character) read the copy of the New York
A-Z she had been given along with her costume.
She felt it would have
been more appropriate to be reading files on the triads she was to investigate.
That wouldn't make
sense in reality of course, but it was how it was done in the movies.
Well, maybe not all of
the movies, but ... ahhhhhh.
Any other potential
target was back at the last station being held by the police for questioning,
they will eventually be released with apologies of course, but the effect was
that Tiffany was the only girl worth grabbing.
'Michelle Amanda
receiving, over?'
'Of course,' thought
Tiffany as she realized this was how she was to communicate intelligence.
'Amanda Tif- ... Michelle, go ahead, over.'
'I'm in position
awaiting your arrival, over.'
'All right, I've been
seeing nothing but buildings for about half an hour now, so I should be there
soon, out.'
-~-
Amanda looked carefully
around the station.
Eventually she spotted
the guy.
'Michelle Amanda,
target sighted, main entrance.'
-~-
"Attention ladies and
gentlemen, we'll be arriving at Grand Central Station in five minutes, all
change, all change."
'Received, time on
target: Five minutes, over.'
Tiffan- Michelle picked up her backpack and prepared
to disembark.
This was going to take
some getting used to.
She was going to have
to look a little lost, like she didn't know what she was doing.
She entered the
station's shopping area looking around.
She then pulled her New
York A-Z again just to add to the air of nervous cluelessness.
'Okay, you got him, do
not approach, let him approach you.'
Michelle acknowledged
and headed over to some of the restaurants, looking at their menus.
She pulled a 10$ note
and about 65c in change, and then put it back looking worried.
She then pulled her A-Z
again and looked supposedly for some clue as to where to go to eat.
She then slowly headed
out of the station.
She stopped at the
entrance and then after a few minutes, she headed back into the station and sat
on a bench looking like she was hoping to get something useful from the rather
uninformative guide book.
Eventually she snapped
the book shut in frustration, staring straight up at the ceiling.
"You alright there?"
Michelle looked up at
the bearer of the voice and said "Well, provided you're not some goody two
shoes out to convince me I'm better off at home, perfectly."
" ... Ooookayyyyy,
wasn't interested in your home life, you just looked lost is all."
"Good, exactly where I
want to be."
"Want to grab some
lunch? My treat," said the 'stranger'.
After about twenty
seconds of thought, Michelle said "Yeah, alright then."
-~-
After making her selection,
Lia suggested she pick a table while he gets their food.
He arrived at the table
with two BK triple whopper meals.
Michelle thanked him
and started eating.
"So, you have a name?"
asked Lia.
Michelle glared a
little.
"What? Just curious, I
mean ... ... you can make one up if you like."
"Any name I want?"
asked Michelle.
"Any name you want."
Michelle snorted a
laugh for a moment and said "well, okay, I want to beeeeeee
... ... Xena,
or perhaps Max Guevera ... Or better yet, Starfire."
Lia chuckled and said
"I have no idea who they are."
"They're people that
wouldn't have had to have ... ... "
Lia looked at her in
expectance of an answer and eventually asked "What?"
"Nothing."
He shrugged and asked
"Got a place to stay lined up?"
Michelle sat back and
casually said "I heard of this spacious cardboard box this crazy cat lady is
putting up for rent, but that might prove a touch expensive, so I don't think
that will work in the long term."
"I could let you stay
at my place for a while."
"Really? What's the
catch?"
He chuckled a little
and said "No catch, just being a good Samaritan."
Michelle continued to
eat and said "Alright, but any funny stuff will cost you."
"Okay."
They eventually
finished their food and headed out.
Michelle watched the
city pass around the car, a dodge viper, rather quickly in some places.
Michelle let out a
yawn, wondering how much more boring this guy was going to get already.
"Exciting huh?" asked
Lia.
"Sure," said Michelle,
trying to send more information to Amanda.
Eventually they entered
the suburbs and pulled into the driveway of a fully detached house.
"Here we are, come on,
I'll show you around."
Michelle emerged from
the car blinking the sleep out of her eyes.
The place wasn't that
well cared for but it looked like at least some effort went into keeping it
looking reasonable.
Inside it was like the
kind of place you'd expect Upchuck to live in, full of posters of classy and
high powered cars and posters of naked women getting fucked.
If she wasn't a vampire
slayer, this would be a little creepy, but she knew she could kick his ass if
he tried anything.
Assuming she doesn't
fall over from exhaustion.
Wait, what exhaustion?
"Come on, I'll show you
your room."
Michelle considered her
options.
Lia approached her
looking concerned.
He then grinned.
"This'll definitely
cost you," she said as she realized she couldn't do either of the two options
that had popped up: Bug out or slot the nonce.
"Yeah well, you look
exhausted, you should really lie down and get out of those clothes," he said as
he put an arm around her and pushed her towards the room he had set up for her.
Her attempt to resist
simply caused her to stumble, Lia prevented her from falling flat on her face.
"Easy there," he said
as he pulled one of Tiffany's arms over his shoulder and carried her to the
room which had a pink bed and was decorated like that of a 'My Little Pony'
fanatic.
She could barely feel
her body as he laid her down on the bed, "I got ya, I
got ya, now let's see what I got," he said as he
started to undress her.
-~-
'Daria Amanda,
receiving, over?'
'Amanda Daria, go
ahead, over.'
'Just lost contact with
Tiffany.'
'What was the last
thing that happened?'
'She was accompanying
the target back to his house.'
'Right, I'll contact
the feds, set up an operation on his known address, hopefully the guy's dumb
enough to take her there.'
'Received, out.'
-~-
"That's the only one
you could find?"
Tiffany awoke to the sound of voices.
"Yeah, annoying, but it happens,"
Voices from within her room.
"Also looks a bit old,"
She also realized she had fallen asleep naked on top of the sheets, 'wait a minute, OLD???'
"Some kids look older then they in fact are, and yeah, I know she isn't a cherry, but she looks nice enough."
Who were th- ... Tiffany remembered what she had been doing earlier on that day and suddenly realized she was waking up after having accompanied a known pimp home after he DRUGGED her-
"Any signs of venereal diseases?" asked one of the men, she suddenly felt a hand pushing her left knee up to get the leg it was attached to out the way of her-
Tiffany woke up and belted the man that was trying to molest her with the back of her fist.
She was on her feet half a second later glaring at Lia.
Lia backed away nervously, he knew the energy that punch had delivered to his friend's face told of enormous strength.
"What the fuck, did I tell you, about any funny business? Do I really have to spell it out for you? Funny business would have been on the level of hitting on me for sex, and that would have cost you the ability to eat solid food for several months. What do you think, therefore, slipping me a sedative and using me as a fuck doll will cost you, hmmmmm?"
"OWWWW! I THOUGHT YOU SEDATED HER!" said the other guy.
"I did," said Lia as Tiffany continued to advance, forcing him back against the wall.
Tiffany reached forth menacingly, placing her thumb across his trachea as her fingers stroked the side of his head, he looked like he was about to shit himself.
"You two like using girls for your own amusement, like making them do degrading and disgusting things, like making them submit, like watching them die a little inside as you cum on or in them, and thought you'd do the same to me, right? Did you do anything or did I wake up just in time?"
"Nothing, I swear, it reduces the finder's fee if the district pimp sees signs you've just been fucked or smells cum on you," he whimpered.
"But after verification of the goods and a sale, you'd have both had a go, wouldn't you?" Tiffany said as she gently ramped up the pressure on his trachea.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me," he cried.
"Oh for fuck's sake," said the other guy as he got up and walked up to them, he grabbed Tiffany's shoulder and tried to spin her towards him, only to find her immovable.
Tiffany struck the guy with her index and middle fingertips of her other hand in his forehead with enough force to throw the guy backwards fast enough that he couldn't even get his hands behind him before he hit the floor.
The second guy finally got the hint that Tiffany was out of his league and called out "NICK! NEED YOUR HELP HERE!"
A couple of seconds later, a heavy built goon in a suit entered and asked "What's the problem?"
"Girl needs hurting."
"Right," said Nick as he turned back to Tiffany and reached for her throat, only for her to grab his wrist and squeeze.
Hard!
"AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Girl needs your obedience, if she doesn't want to add three brutal GBH charges to the murder charges. Not that I'll be caught of course. You know, when I arrived in Grand Central Station, I was apprehensive to say the least. Runaway girl on her own with barely enough for a family bucket from KFC, how was I going to survive? But it looks like you three should be able to provide enough money for me to start renting an apartment, albeit a rather shit one, and maybe start looking for a job ... OR just go around mugging people who are too physically strong to get over the embarrassment of getting done over by a girl sized like me to report it. Whatever works best for me."
"Please, you're hurting me," whimpered Nick.
"Yes I am. What would you do to make it stop?" asked Tiffany as she ramped up the pressure, pulsing her grip to enhance her point further.
"ANYTHING! ANYTHING! GOD, JUST STOP DOING THAT!" yelled Nick, who obviously wasn't used to resisting coercion from someone stronger than him.
"Okay," said Tiffany as she let go of Nick's arm, she then handed him Lia and said "Make him suck my clitoris."
Nick apologised to Lia and forced him by his shoulders to his knees.
Tiffany just stood there arms crossed as Nick coerced Lia into placing his lips around Tiffany's clit and he started sucking on it.
Eventually Lia completed his task.
"That was good."
Lia didn't respond.
"Now, you, and that guy you were trying to sell me to, are going to 69 and blow each other."
"HEY!" said Lia.
"NOW WAIT A MINUTE! DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?" started Lia's friend.
"Yes, you're the cunt that wanted to rent or buy me off this guy," Tiffany indicated Lia, "Who sedated and raped me, and I THINK, that the pair of you should be EXTREMELY grateful that I am giving you this chance to work off your debt to me without spending years in traction and then more years learning to walk again."
"But I told you-" started Lia
"AND I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! THE LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS BEING CARRIED TO THAT BED AND YOU REMOVING MY CLOTHES! DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOUR WORD WHEN YOU WERE PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO STOP ME FROM HURTING YOU! NOW GET YOUR KIT OFF AND GO PLAY WITH YOUR FRIEND!" Shouted Tiffany, to whose raised voice the gangsters were now very sensitive.
The two gangsters slowly stripped off and Nick just stood there hoping Tiffany wouldn't punish him along with them.
-~-
'Amanda Tiffany, receiving, over?'
'Tiffany, where the fuck were you?' blurted a severely tense Amanda.
'Asleep at the target's house, apparently. I woke up as he was trying to sell me to this guy, gave them both a lesson in why you shouldn't fuck with a vampire slayer.'
'You didn't actually tell them-'
'Fuck no, but I think I've established my character now.'
'What did you do?'
'Made them fuck each other, given what they do for a living, it seemed appropriate.'
Amanda chuckled at this.
'Starting to change my mind about this job.'
'You're good to continue then?' asked Amanda.
'Yeah, I get to be violent to a bunch of bad guys without so many rules about how I may abuse them, it's a sweet gig.'
'Glad you're enjoying it. ... Tiffany, you were unconscious in that guy's house, you may have been raped.'
'At least this time I was unconscious, but I don't think I was actually, guy said it makes it harder to sell me if he recently used me, I mean, he might have, so I'll get some emergency contraception pills, anti-viral and anti biotic for that, but I'm pretty sure he didn't. ... Not that I'm telling him that, I want him afraid of me of course.'
'Of course. I'll tell Daria you're alright then.'
Amanda then focused on Daria.
-~-
Daria entered the war room, where
"Evening," greeted Daria.
"Amiga," Jane replied.
"How's it going with Tiffany?" asked Wesley.
"She seems to be settling in just fine. We ready for this?"
"Probably not," said Robodaria, "but the ships are all in place and are listening out for anything interesting. Signal's five by five so far, that could change."
"Are we getting anything?"
"Yeah, fuck all, they know where our ships are, probably know where our subs are too."
"Ships just got there, right?" asked Daria.
"Yeah," said Jane.
"Okay, let's get a map of the sea floor terrain," said Daria.
"That'll tell the bad guys we're looking for them," said Robodaria.
"We need them to do something interesting," said Daria.
"Okay, do it," said Donald.
Robodaria sent the command.
They all watched as the data came in.
It quickly got boring.
"Nothing so far, that's strange," said Robodaria.
"How's that?" asked Donald.
"We're expecting pipes or cables or something," said Daria.
"Yeah, anything wider than about five millimeters would show up," said Robodaria.
"Would they really need that?" asked Donald.
"They could just be moving bottles from the generator instead," said Robodaria, "problem with that is you have to send units and that can generate noise."
"There's another possibility," said Daria, "they got the power available to burn through kilometers of rock with a laser."
"Or X-ray cannon," said Donald.
"No, you only want to use that for destruction, X-rays penetrate deep into the target and heat the whole thing, you'd leave a massive trench," said Daria.
"If they send units, we'll detect them with active sonar," said Robodaria.
"Which could motivate them to sneak up on the ships and blow them out of the water," said Daria.
"What if they're too sneaky?" asked Jane.
"O
"We'll get something useful even if it's that they have extremely unkickable asses," said Daria.
"This is a really desperate act, isn't it?" said Donald.
"Hyep," said Daria.
"Sonar contact reported at 42 12 west, 13 10 north, pretty loud, climbing to the surface," said one of the officers.
"I thought the subs were going to maintain radio silence," said Donald.
"This is from the
"It's on satellite now," said Robodaria as she brought up the image on the main screen.
They watched as two big black bisected hexagons emerged from the ocean, powered by what looked like larger versions of the plasma thrusters the cyborgs were using, the thrusters were located on the back of the two trailing edges in what looked like neatly carved out recesses.
"Those the fighters?" asked Donald.
"No, those are bigger, and they're packing something between the hemispheres," said Robodaria.
"Packing what?" Asked Donald.
The back of the bit in the middle flashed pulses of plasma as something bright and faintly orange shot out the front, there were several bursts.
"Something very bad for our health," said Daria.
Another image then was inset into the main picture focusing on the projectiles.
"Missiles?" asked Donald.
"Shells," said Robodaria, "that bright light the shells are emitting, it's spectra's consistent with sodium."
The vehicles dived back into the sea.
The projectiles were starting to spread out as they arrived at their first target.
The shells entered along the length of the ship, a frigate, and each segment of the ship was ripped open by a nuclear explosion equivalent to 200T of TNT.
"Sodium? Salt from the sea?" asked Wesley.
"No, that wouldn't do it, it's too bright for that to be heat from friction, that sodium must have been heated directly by a process within the barrel," said Winifred.
"The propellant?" asked Wesley.
"Or the pickup coils," said Daria.
"Who uses sodium to make up a pick- ... Wait a minute, sodium's got really loose electrons," said Winifred, "All the group one metals do, and it would be easier to use something heavier such as rubidium or caesium of course, but they got access to tons of sodium, I picked sodium for a rocket propellant because of it's abundance," continued Winifred.
"If this was a cartoon, we'd all have giant question marks over our heads about now," said Jane.
"Yeah, you gonna give us mere ... errr ... idiots a clue?" asked Spike.
"It's all in the chemistry," said Daria, "Sodium's not got such a tight grip on it's electrons in the outer shell, you can ionize it and have it as a liquid, you'd need diamond to contain it as we're still talking temperatures in excess of 1500 Celsius, and the pressures would still be fairly high if nothing compared to other gasses at that temperature and density."
Jane and Spike looked like they were still confused.
Daria eventually said "ummm, okay, we'll talk more about this later."
"I think the action has ended," said Robodaria.
"What about our submarines?" asked Donald.
"If they've seen them, they ain't showing it."
"How important is that plant?" asked Donald.
"Unknown."
"Can our subs investigate?" asked Donald.
"If the subs went active, they'd get wasted
for the same reason that the ships did. This isn't
"What? You think that John Q. Public matters?"
"Actually, Donald, I think the entire military would go ape shit, especially considering the speed at which you can communicate over ELF channels precludes the possibility of getting anything useful out of such a mission," said Daria.. "It would probably make them feel undervalued... no, it would piss them off. Soldiers know they may die, but they take it personally when REMF's throw them away because they couldn't care less."
"And how would word of this leave the room?" asked Donald.
A very well-timed chorus of clearing throats brought Donald's attention to the fact that there were a great many military personnel in the room; even the MP's at the doors took this opportunity to clear their throats, also shooting looks at Donald that a sensible man would have taken as cause to slowly ease himself towards the nearest exit.
Donald, however,
looked around with alarm. He then glared at Daria, looking highly enraged.
"I don't think you'll cause a general strike by nuking the item, they're expecting us to play along, let's make ourselves look gullible to them, besides, it might be important after all," said Daria.
Donald continued to glare, then he said "Fine, let's see if these things actually work."
-~-
"Captain, just got the strike co-ordinates, we're cleared hot," said the lieutenant at the communications station.
"Alright then, going hot, lock it up," said the captain as he brought the B52 out of it's course and placed his finger under the master arm switch.
Weapons officer went through his part of the arming procedure, saying "targets uploaded and locked, system check reveals no problems, arming firing chain, you're ready to shoot."
The captain then flipped the switch connecting the final parts of the weapons system to his pickle button as he said "Pickle's hot," before he pushed the button, "missile away."
The aircraft jumped as the two missiles dropped off their wing stations.
Not only was this weapon fitted with clean nukes, it was also fitted with rockets that use sodium in place of aluminium, so it now went a little bit further than before too.
They watched as the missiles shot ahead of them and climbed out.
-~-
"Missiles away, time on target, 43 seconds from now," said Robodaria.
Everyone watched the screens.
The cyborgs did not respond.
At 10 seconds from impact, a heat signature was detected.
two missiles had emerged from the sea.
"No way," said Winifred.
"What? You've never heard of a surface to air missile before?" asked Jane.
Winifred said "That's not what the 'No Way' comment was about, those are liquid fuelled motors, you just about never get those on military weapons, the propellants just plain raise too many problems."
"Hang on, how can you be sure-" started Donald.
"Spectra's consistent with hydrogen, oxygen and ionized steam, that's an axial aerospike motor on it's ass," said Robodaria.
The missiles intercepted the inbound weapons and caused mutual detonation.
"Okay, well, that was an expensive round of show and tell us nothing," said Donald.
"Except how to make the superconductors I need to make the advanced weapons work," said Winifred.
"Also tells us what he's packing more or less," said Daria, "and it makes sense that he's using liquid fuelled missiles, fusion engines give off enough power to store cryogenic propellants indefinitely."
"Bit risky though, isn't it?" asked Wesley.
"Yeah, but the pay off's a greater killing radius," said Daria.
"Yeah, turbopumps allow for greater pressure than a solid motor casing would, so you make better use of the energy provided," said Winifred.
"We don't want to play catch up with these people, we want to overtake them and moon them and flip them off from a great distance while they die of embarrassment from being so much slower than we are," said Daria.
"I think I can get us there now," said Winifred, "the only problem I was having was having was the current carrying capacity of all the known conductor materials, that includes superconductors due to their critical field limitations, too greater magnetizing force and the electrons start agitating the atoms, that'll bring the material past critical temperature and you're no longer superconducting. Alkali metals on the other hand don't use a crystal and can conduct more in the high temperatures, you have to get them there, but once you do, they shed their valence electrons, and they have bigger holes to flow through, and you're laughing."
"So you can get this done now, can you?"
"Should have a series of experiments complete by the end of next week, it works, and I have no reason to think it shouldn't, we can start developing our weapons platform," said Winifred.
"Jane, you've known Upchuck a lot longer than I have, do you think he's likely to rest on his laurels right now?" asked Daria.
"I'd have to think about that one, but offhand, he probably feels too secure to bother with any real technological development pushes, but that means we can't hint at anything we're doing."
"Okay then," said Daria.
-~-
Tiffany sat in her new apartment flipping through the channels looking for something decent.
The apartment wasn't that nice, she was tempted to request a nuclear device to clean up the bathroom, and the bathroom didn't look like it could withstand too much steam.
Until she got contacted by the Triads (on whatever terms) she would be short of things to do, so she was seriously considering spending some of her hard stolen money on some plaster, the tools to apply it, a wire brush, couple of cans of latex paint, new light fixture, she could of course try to get the landlord to do something, but that would likely take for fucking ever, and living with a décor that reminded her of the time she got captured by vampires would drive her nuts.
She made a complete list and headed out.
She remembered the location of a B&Q within walking distance, she headed there.
It was still open, but it would close in about half an hour, so she had to get a move on, she figured she should sort out the bathroom ceiling first as it looked like it was going to fall apart, she would need a new light fixture too because the light there was just a normal ceiling rose with a 60W bulb in a normal bayonet cap, that was just George Bush stupid.
She hadn't tried using the shower, but she imagined if she did that there would be enough condensation within the light fixing that there would be a ground fault.
She suddenly wondered if the place even had an RCCB in it's consumer unit.
She wasn't going to get too involved though, she just wanted the place looking decent while she was there. So she was going to sort the bathroom so she could use it, and maybe the bedroom/living room if the mission lasted long enough and gave her the time.
She just about made her purchases as the store started to close.
She kept an eye out looking for anyone following her or the pimps and their goon.
She smiled as she recalled the horror on their faces as she had made them kiss each other, and watching their discomfort as they had stripped each others clothes off and felt each other up was just classic.
Especially when they were looking at each other's penises, starting to cry as they fondled each other. They were aroused in spite of their revulsion, and the way they begged her not to make them suck each other off almost made Tiffany cum.
She also liked the fact that her being naked was of no comfort to them at all, one naked girl, three Triad gangsters, and they were scared of her.
In fact, they were afraid to look at her, as if doing so would set her off.
Having them retain their cum and swap it between them a couple of times made her spontaneously cum, she had then tied the pair of them up so they were sharing a gag made of their own underwear, and she had then tied them to the bed with egg shaped vibrators up their asses, and she left them to cum on each other as she had the goon help her take anything worth stealing.
She would cherish those memories for ever.
She got back into her flat and immediately selected the tools needed to remove the loose wallpaper and plaster, plus the tools needed to remove the unsuitable light from the ceiling.
The consumer unit was ancient, three rewireable fuses (Lights, Sockets and Cooker, she couldn't see any fuse wire laying around, she'd have to get some of that next time she was out shopping) and no RCCB was present.
And there was an electric shower installed in the bathroom.
Idiots!
The place hadn't burned down at least, so the wires were probably all right, although she wasn't going to use that shower unit without an RCCB, she also figured if the moron installing the shower hadn't fitted an RCCB to the consumer unit, then he probably hadn't used the right conductor section area either.
She could get into that later, she removed the fuse for the lights and brought a lamp so she had a source of light to work to.
About halfway through removing the plaster when she heard a knock.
It was the landlord.
"Yes?"
"I heard scratching noises as I was walking past your apartment, which by the way, is not yours, it's mine."
"It's also a piece of shit."
"Show me what you're doing."
Tiffany showed the guy into the bathroom, and he looked furious.
"Better it comes down now and not when I'm in the shower, which, by the way, has no residual current circuit breaker, so I'm not using that until a proper electrician sorts it the fuck out. I'm just going to get the plaster fixed and painted."
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE?"
"Yes, how about an amendment to my rent agreement: If I get this place looking habitable, I get to stay for half the rent?"
"How about I evict you if you don't stop what you're doing?" asked the landlord.
Tiffany grabbed the man's neck and lifted him into the air, looking really relaxed as she did as if she was just lifting a pen, and said "How about I not put you in intensive care?"
"How about I call the police?" the man rasped.
"How about I mention the shower and prompt an apparently urgently needed investigation of the entire block of apartments?" asked Tiffany.
"Alright, you win," said the landlord.
Tiffany lowered the guy to his feet and said "Pleasure doing business with you," as she shook his hand and patted him on the back (a touch too hard) as she led him out the apartment.
She then got back to work.
-~-
"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine," said Louis as he brought the SA80 to his shoulder and dry fired it, "And it is such a piece of shit."
Dave couldn't help but chuckle.
Louis was a twat a lot of the time, but the SA80 was also known as CIGARGs, which meant 'Can I Get A Real Gun?'
How the Enfield rifle company managed to persuade this guy to buy so many was beyond him, but they had to get something to fight with since they couldn't explain to their own quartermaster why they needed the weapons, and if the weapons were to turn up where they shouldn't be, they would be either fired, or jailed and then fired, and military jails suck harder than anything any civilian prison can come up with.
Louis put it down and picked up a G36, and said "I've heard good things about this one."
"Yes, it's very popular," said the gun dealer.
"Alright, we'll take two G36s, with six clips and a C-mag for each, 560 5.56 by 45 rounds, two Glock 18s with three clips for each, 180 nine by nineteen Hydra shok rounds, eight fragmentation grenades, two flashbangs, aaaaannnnnnd three kilos of semtex with eight Remote fuzes with compatible control pack ... Oh, also, two Smith and Wesson Model 500s with 100 Cor Bon full powers."
Louis shrugged as he took one of the X-frame revolvers, thinking 'Pretty decent weapon for a revolver, but a revolver?'
The pair of them left the back alley with their purchases and got in their vehicle to head towards the border.
Louis finally asked "What's with the five shooters?"
"Cover. If we think we're about to get caught, we're rich, recreational hunters, and were never there. For a couple of hundred quid each," explained Dave.
"Okay, but let's just not get caught, eh?" said Louis.
"Sounds like a plan."
They hoped Xander's slayers had been keeping a low profile as instructed.
They eventually got close enough to the border and started hiding their vehicle.
This done they changed into their DPM outfits and applied green face paint, before shouldering their backpacks and heading out towards the Zimbabwean border.
-~-
"We need to get a look at that device," said Daria.
"Okay, how?" asked Jane.
"Upchuck will know how to look for any probes we send down, and even Robodaria can't work without some form of external power to recharge off of."
"Right, we basically need something that needs no power, no oxygen, can walk on the seabed and can basically do the things people do ... No, fucking way."
-~-
"'I'm Telling my mom on you?'" paraphrased Spike as he and Jane walked down the harbour.
"Stop saying that, and stop fucking laughing too. Something's really wrong here, first Tiffany and now us?" asked Jane.
"I think you're right there, what do you want to do about it?" asked Spike.
"I want Daria to explain apologise and stop going down this corrupt and evil path, I think it's the authority she's holding that's doing this."
"Hmm ... "
Jane looked at Spike for a few seconds and said "What?"
"I think we need to give her the benefit of the doubt here, see where she's going, you know?"
Jane considered this and wondered what it was that suddenly prompted Spike's newfound trust.
-~-
Donald nursed his drink as he waited for Barry to show up.
He couldn't believe Daria just did that: Promise change, and then so publicly humiliate him.
"Hey Donald, how's Daria working out for you?"
"Shit. Are you going to do something to her soon?"
"Huh. That shouldn't be, we've taken our action, she should be loyal as Blair right now, what happened?"
"She sided with the soldiers when I suggested we send our subs to attack something, but our forces train for high risk, it's their jobs to do this."
"Would you have gotten anything useful out of it?" asked Barry.
"I ... no," said Donald, "Probably not."
"Does she normally exhibit disregard for the lives of those under her command?" asked Barry.
"No."
"Okay, the modification we used has to be subtle if we don't want it being detected, we have a LOT of experience with this, but she'll eventually be entirely on side, give it a month and see what happens, no signs of improvement, I'll chase up the mystic and find out what's happening, okay?"
"Okay."
-~-
Tom was putting his stuff away as he was settling into his Bromwell Dorm room, having enrolled on his course.
He was doing a business course in order to prepare to inherit his family business.
He would be excited, except something about Daria was bothering him.
She had insisted that she wanted them to start fucking like a couple of porn stars, but this was way off from the shy introverted girl that could barely move beyond kissing he had gotten used to.
Even the non-sex stuff had been awkward as hell, what had changed? Was she making up for lost time? Trying to right a perceived wrong? Except her body language, usually guarded, was now that of an outwardly affectionate woman, she actually seemed to be fawning over him now, what was that about?
He removed a stack of pairs of pants from his suitcase and was about to place them in his underwear drawer when he realized that some of them felt wrong.
He turned the stack over and found several pairs of pink panties underneath.
"Looks like we got our pants mixed up at some point," said Daria.
Tom turned to see her standing in his room's doorway.
Daria closed the door and walked up to him producing her warrant card saying "Face the wall, hands on your head."
He looked alarmed as he processed what Daria was telling him to do, and he eventually nodded and obeyed.
Daria stepped behind him and cuffed his left hand, placing it behind his back, she then grabbed his other hand and cuffed that too.
"Afraid I'm going to have to strip search you," said Daria, as she slowly slid her hands under his jumper.
It quickly became obvious that she wasn't arresting him.
"Okay, I'll come quietly," said Tom as he relaxed into it.
Or tried, this still felt wrong, she had never even hinted at an interest in BDSM, so there was still this nagging thought at the back of his mind that something was seriously wrong here, but he wasn't about to get confrontational until after he was out of these cuffs.
After pulling his jumper over his head, Daria undid his trousers, sliding her hands down his legs as they fell.
She felt his groin saying "Quite a package you got there, I'm going to have to take a sample to make sure there's nothing there that shouldn't be there."
She then pulled him off the wall and threw him onto the bed, she pulled down his pants and set about collecting her sample.
She started removing her own clothes as she manipulated him saying "probably best the sample doesn't contaminate my clothes."
Tom almost came right there, he resolved to talk to her more seriously after she was done playing with him.
-~-
End.