Constraints: Follows 'Living Dead Girls 5: Twister Harvest'


Synopsis: Jane's mom prepares for the birth of her grandchild, and Daria tries to hit Upchuck's angels.


Living Dead Girls 6: Denial And Deniability.


Content: Some violence, some swearing, some sexual content.


Legal: Daria belongs to MTV, Angel/Buffy belongs to mutant enemy, Ultimate Force and The Bill belong to ITV.



Part 1



Daria continued through the forest listening out for the vampires she had chased into it.


They had been moving quite fast earlier, but the noise had died down, so she was now moving slow enough to avoid excessive noise.


She wasn't hearing any movement around her.


She had a stake in the hand under her weapon's forearm, that way, if it came to an ambush, she would be better prepared.


It wasn't an easy thing to decide. On the one hand, you want to eliminate as many vampires as possible, as each vampire loose will be tens to hundreds of people dead, some of which will be turned. But if you die in the process of attempting to kill them, your ability to kill any more is severely compromised.


She heard a noise off to her two o'clock vector. She listened for half a second, then ran after it, readying herself whenever she approached a tree like-


A hand shot out, she brought the gun around, using the time to confirm it was a vampire, which it was, she stabbed it immediately and spun around looking for more. She felt someone step on the back of her knee, definitely hostile, she discharged her USAS12 over her shoulder. She obviously wasn't close, because she felt an arm encircle her neck in a reverse headlock.


She tried to stab the vampire, but her hand was caught, and a knee strike to her back caused her to drop her gun.


"Hey Daria," said Sandi, as she looked back at Daria's face over her shoulder.


"Sandi, I don't recall anyone turning you," said Daria.


"Yeah, but you did get me killed, you stupid geek!"


Suddenly Sandi cried out and disintegrated.


Daria fell with the dust, and looked up at her savior.


"Thanks Illyria."


"No, thank you," she said, as she stepped over Daria, and drove her foot into her face.




Daria realized she had been dreaming as she woke up with a start.


She saw it was 05:38 on a Monday.


"No other way to start the day, for me anyway," she said as she turned off the clock (no point going back to sleep now, is there?) and headed off to the shower to clean up.




Quinn got downstairs and got out some carrot sticks to eat as Daria finished her own breakfast.


"Ready for school Quinn?" asked Daria.


"Uh-huh," said Quinn.


Quinn was dressed in forest DPM trousers and a brown tee-shirt.


This was a radical break from her usual mode of dress for the past three or four years.


"Look like you're ready for war."


"That's school for you, anyway, that's the look we're all going with," said Quinn.


Quinn then remembered and said "The look we're both going with," as she sat down, looking like she felt really stupid.


"Phantom best friend syndrome?" asked Daria.


"Not funny," said Quinn.


"Wasn't meant to be."


"We saw her die, I know full well she's dead, her fucking funeral is next weekend, why do I keep forgetting that?"


"Because she was such a close friend to you that you almost reflexively include her in your daily plans? I ended up doing something similar when Jane had to leave," said Daria.


"Except you knew Jane was alright."


"Actually, I hoped she was alright, I didn't know for two weeks."


"You think it would have been easier to know if she was dead?"


"No, but that was pretty bad, it was basically the state you were in when Kirsty started pouring that drain cleaner down Sandi's throat."


Quinn thought about it, and said "Okay, that was worse."


"You know what's worse?"


"I probably don't want to, but what?"


"Stacy Rowe, I know she's dead. When Illyria infected her, she died, probably painfully. Yet I can't seem to absorb that fact emotionally because Illyria looks like her."


"Yeah, Brie Stacy, with penicillin for that extra tangy flavour."


"Well ... yeah," said Daria, deciding not to correct Quinn on the identification of the cheeses.


They eventually got around to departing.


Until Daria opened the front door.


"Tom," exclaimed Daria.


Tom, looking startled, eventually lowered his hand from where it was about to knock the door.


"Hey Daria, I was hoping we could talk."


Daria nodded, and said "Sure, I'll just get Quinn off to school, and ... complete my shift ... How would tonight sound?" asked Daria.


"Good, ah, I'll pick a restaurant, and reserve a table."


"That ... ... I have no idea what might happen at work," said Daria.


"Okay, is there any chance of you getting any kind of leave?" asked Tom.


"Erm ... Look, I'll call you tonight if I can do anything. Otherwise, I'm sorry if I can't."


Tom looked frustrated for a time, then said "Fine," as he walked off.


"Could have gone better," said Daria as Tom left earshot.


"You really need to learn a thing or three about boys," said Quinn.


"So you keep saying, come on."




Kevin sat up and realized something.


"I gotta get to school."


"I wouldn't," said Barry.


"Why?" Asked Kevin.


Barry had met this guy last night, and was hoping he could help him.


He was looking for this Asian girl he had previously had sex with, he couldn't remember her name, but had reason to believe she had gone to a local school here.


Just about every kid he had sired had trouble helping him narrow it down.


"Because the sun's up," said Barry.


"How's that a problem?" asked Kevin.




Quinn met Tiffany outside the school, Tiffany was dressed in a winter forest DPM tracksuit.






They walked into school, Quinn asked "have you been able to do any school work?"


"Yeah, wasn't much else to do while I was recovering and then hiding out."


"And I've been having trouble with my studies due to the nightmares from ... ... anyway, I guess we should get to class."


"Not so fast girls," said the principal from behind them.


Quinn and Tiffany stopped and looked at Angela.


"Your parents should have been made aware that we will be taking measures to enforce moral codes on things such as manner of dress and possession of satanic, blasphemous or obscene items from now on."


"What?" asked Quinn.


"When did this happen?" asked Tiffany.


"After a long debate following a series of cataclysmic, one might say, apocalyptic events, it was decided that God really is mad at us."


Quinn and Tiffany groaned in disbelief saying "Aww I don't believe this!"


"Well believe it, and you had better start showing some respect for authority, open your bags, now."




"Hey Daria," greeted Jane as they entered the building.


"Jane," acknowledged Daria.


"We're ready to do that spell seeing spell."


"Sweet," said Daria.


"Donald got on our asses over the fact we're using it to try to gather intelligence on my kid," said Jane.


"Did he accept that it could be useful for looking for Upchuck?" asked Daria.


"Yep. But, if he's not using magic for any of this, how can he accidentally hide from us?"




They were halfway through their session on the firing range.


The entire troop was starting to seriously develop their skills, Willow had them practicing using throwing stars.


Willow also had them using weights to increase the force they could put out, acceleration is force over mass, so more force equals faster acceleration.


They were starting to approach thirty newtons in strength.


That could accelerate a three gram throwing star to mach one in 37.3 milliseconds, or seven metres (Yeah, "Oi! You: Enemy, get further back so I can kill you with my thought accelerated projectiles.") and a knife weighing eighty gram would need almost a second, one eight five metres ("No, further back, not closer, what the fuck kind of enemy are you? Fuck's sake.").


She wanted to get that down to as short a distance as possible. The goal was mach one in half a metre, an acceleration of 139129m/s2 would be needed. For the knife, that's around eleven kilonewtons, or just over a ton in Earth's surface gravity.


Okay, that was unrealistic, but any advantage you can get in a fight will improve your survival probability.


Of course, throwing stars only require four one seven newtons, around forty kilogram in Earth's surface gravity.


That was more realistic, and considering the increase in the number of projectiles a person can carry, this would do.


Willow watched the speedometers as the telekinesis launched projectiles shot downrange and the targets.


As soldiers, they were used to thinking about where their shots would go, correcting for badly set sights, that actually helped.


Willow looked at her watch, and shouted "CEASE FIIIIIIRRRRRRRE."


Everyone stopped.


Willow printed off the data she had been recording "Alright, I'm pleased to report that your accuracy has improved another 5%, and your velocity has increased 10%, but I would like you all to keep working," said Willow.


"Right, to eleven kilonewtons, no sweat," said Ed.


"Oh we'll get there," said Henno. He then continued "However, I would like to start using this in war games training, start getting everyone used to employing this new technique under battle conditions."


This caused a number of groans.


Willow chuckled and said "Fair enough, alright, dismissed, see you in half an hour," as she handed Henno a copy of the data and everyone started to leave.


Rebecca giving Willow a rather interesting look as she left.


'Nah, she wasn't ... was she?'


Willow spent the next half minute trying to work out if Rebecca was really picturing her naked as it had just seemed.


That would probably not be the best kind of relationship to get into, even if Willow was free. Rebecca had killed Kennedy, it would be inappropriate for Willow to- And besides, Rebecca should know not to come onto Willow, that would just be stupid.


Willow left the range to prepare her next class, the theme was still tactical spells since the point was to prove the Watcher's Council to be indispensable.


She got halfway down the corridor when she felt her panties ride up into her crack.


She put her hand in her pocket to try to correct the problem, but her efforts only seemed to cause the panties to saw against her clit.


Willow gasped and bent over, dropping her papers.


She was bent over picking them up when she noticed movement behind her.


It was Rebecca walking off in the opposite direction.




"Okay, we're ready to go," said Amanda.


"Right," said Daria.


"So we just sit in our circles and meditate?" asked Jane.


"Yep," said Daria as she sat down in her circle.


"All righty then," said Jane as she sat in her circle.


Illyria and Spike also sat in their circles.


They sat there, waiting for the spell to take effect.




Quinn and Tiffany met outside school dressed according to the school's new uniform code.






"Take two."




They looked a couple of Victorian hats away from looking like Quaker girls.


The boys hadn't been affected by the uniform code.


Quinn wondered how this would affect the cheerleaders.


"Probably a good thing Daria's graduated, I can't really picture her standing for any of this," said Quinn.


"Or Jane," said Tiffany, "I can't believe everyone's going along with this shit, dress code had nothing to do with any of this."


"Yeah, and it's not like this shit doesn't go on all the time around the world," said Quinn.


"'Cept for the nuke, sort of resembles the wrath of god, dunnit?"


"Stupid impressionable frightened villagers," said Quinn.


They entered class, and stopped.


"You're late," said their new science teacher.


Quinn glanced at the rest of the class, and after briefly establishing it was their class, she said "Sorry about that, where's Barch?"


"That feminazi quit when we instituted a more wholesome curriculum, I'm Jeffery Presley, and you two have detention for tardiness."


Quinn was about to protest this, but said "Fine," as she and Tiffany made their way to their seats.


"New curriculum?" whispered Tiffany.


"Bad feeling here," replied Quinn.


Soon as the two girls were seated, the teacher continued what he was saying: "Now, today's experiments will focus on how matter has been organized in a manner that cannot possibly be an accident. We will be growing crystals in order to demonstrate their orderliness, to dispel any concept of randomness in the way these things work."


Four loud snaps sounded and everyone looked at Tiffany.


"Sorry about that," she said, as she dropped the sixteen fragments of the pencil she had snapped into her pencil case and got a new one out, saying "please continue."




Daria's eyes suddenly opened, and she found her vision was altered.


"Trippy," she said.


"Aciiiiiiid," commented Jane.


Daria looked at Jane.


Daria stood up and looked around, everyone seemed to have the ghostly impression of blinkers (as is used historically to keep horses from looking off to the side) on their heads.


"Anyone else seeing blinkers on everyone's heads?" asked Daria.


"Yes," said Amanda.


"What does this mean? Some sort of memory augmentation?" asked Daria.


"Yeah, one form of anyway, I mean, the problem with this spell is that there isn't much that can indicate the type of spell used or whoever caused it, but this is serious. If our memories have been altered, we need to know the source of this," said Amanda.


"Okay, what about my kid?" asked Jane.


"Let's get a sonar on you before this spell wears off," said Amanda.




"I don't think I can take an entire day of this," said Tiffany as they left class.


"Don't really see a choice," said Quinn, also fuming, "I can't believe those FUCKING ASSHATS! ... Stupid fucking religious fanatical fucking shitheads!"


"I can't release any of this, not until I get home, I could demolish a couple of classrooms if I let it all out now!"


"What's next?" asked Tiffany.


"History," said Quinn.


"Well, I don't think there's anything prehistoric in our curriculum, so I can't see Dimartino walking out over any of this," said Tiffany.




"And so, when the two cities failed to heed the warnings, they were severely punished," continued their new history teacher, Ian Hackett.


Quinn looked worriedly at Tiffany as she held a pencil, staring straight ahead, obviously doing her best to ignore her persisting urge to break stuff.


"Can anyone tell me how Lot responded when the two angels visited? ... Tiffany?"


Tiffany didn't respond.




Tiffany looked up, her trance broken.


"Let me guess, you were fantasizing over some boy ... or even some girl ... Can you tell me, what Lot said to the angels when they turned up on his door?"


"He said, 'Sorry dudes, wrong city, Tokyo three's that way,'" pointing off in a random direction.


A number of students laughed at this, understanding the reference.


"I'm sure you think you're clever, but unless you can tell me what Lot said to the two angels that visited him, you're getting detention after school."


"Okay, he said, 'In the name of my lord and savior Brian, I cast thee out!'"




"Fuck that," said Tiffany, rising from her desk, she then picked up her desk and used it to demolish the cabinets lining the side of the room, causing most the other students to recoil away in alarm.


She then approached the teacher's desk and started punching holes in it.


The cowering teacher looked at her with a less authoritive, more shit scared expression on his face.


"I think I'll drop out."




"Okay, we're now certain Upchuck's not using any active magics to disguise his location, then ... what? ... " asked Daria.


"What about wood?" asked Jane.


"Some mystical shape?" offered Spike.


"Perhaps Mr. Ruttheimer used a structural material that happens to be a mystical shield," suggested Illyria.


"Okay, we're finding guns made of diamond on the streets. We're reasonably certain Upchuck's using diamond for most his machinery, and the last times we tracked his agents, they went out to sea. Which makes sense if you're hiding from conventional forces ... He also wants to build structures on the sea floor quickly, so he doesn't want to be filtering plankton for their carbon, he wants something more concentrated. What is there?" asked Daria.


"Silica?" asked Jane.


"Brittle, takes ages to cool if you don't want it shattering," said Daria.


"Steel?" asked Spike, adding "Gotta be tons of the stuff from World War Two."


"Carbon Steel? A mixture of carbon and iron?" asked Illyria.


"Yeah, you'd need to process it though. Aside from the quality of the plate they used in those ships, there's over half a century of corrosion, but that would probably be the easiest way to build something," said Daria.


"What kind of process?" asked Illyria.


"Electrolysis I'd imagine, he'd also want to clean it up, he'd probably oxidize it to scrub the metal of contaminants, then electrolise it."


"That would remove all the carbon, producing ferrite!" said Amanda, suddenly realizing something.


"That's significant, is it?" asked Daria.


"Pure iron is a mystical barrier, if a person is surrounded by it, they will be invisible to locator spells," said Illyria.


"This means, of course, that he's got a shit load of oxygen that needs dumping," said Daria.


Jane, Spike and Amanda looked lost.


"Which will increase the activity of animal type plankton, creating an imbalance," explained Daria.


"Erm, I don't have any spells that will contour concentrations in the manner you're thinking of," said Amanda.


"That's not a problem, I'll get onto NASA. Meanwhile Amanda, I want our memories restored," said Daria as she left the room.


"You're welcome," muttered Amanda.




"What mass are we looking for?" asked Robodaria.


"Okay, well, Upchuck would probably be thinking ahead. The minimum, I think would be a dome five hundred metres wide, fifty metres high."


"Iron has a failure stress of three fifty megapascals, the dome would have to contain around thirty two point seven million cubic metres of air. Unless he wants to squash the height to around fifty metres, could fuse a torus with a dome, around ninety nine million cubic metres. That's approximately nine seventy one giganewtons of force to restrain, two seven seven four square metres. He's going to need a wall at least one point seven five nine eight metres thick, giving us at least eighty billion tons of iron. That's approximately thirty four point three seven eight billion tons of oxygen possibly."


"That should do something, right?" asked Daria.


"If he's stupid enough to simply dump the oxygen as he's producing it? Gonna look like someone dropped a supertanker load of sulphuric acid."




Willow sat at her table in the cafeteria, comparing tables and making notes.


She was also planning the war games as Henno had suggested.


She started to notice her breasts felt like they weren't that well positioned, like they were being ... twisted? Willow set about correcting the problem, trying to be subtle as she adjusted her bra through her clothes, when suddenly her left breast fell from its cup.


Willow's eyes bugged out as she looked around, wondering if anyone was watching her.


She had no choice but to stick a hand in through her shirt to put the fugitive gland back in its place.


It was at this point that she felt her clit being pinched as if by magic.


She gasped suddenly aware of everyone staring at her.


She blushed as she considered what it looked like she was doing, but she calmly restored her underwear, and looked at Rebecca, who was apparently not paying any attention to her.


Except for a smile she decided to send her way.




"Got it, seventy two degrees thirty two minutes west, thirty seven degrees twelve minutes north, big ass void of all life."


Daria nodded and said "Okay, I'd like to gather more information before doing anything, are there any others?"


"Not as far as I can tell," said Robodaria, she then said "it's actually creating a trail of destruction, Upchuck must be building an entire city."


"Do any ASW planes patrol that area?" asked Daria.


"Checking ... no."


"Magnetic anomaly detectors have been known to the public for ages now, I want a sub hunter to overfly the area. I also want enough ships in the area to pick up any movement, but they must have an excuse to be there, can you plan that?"


"Is Jerry Falwell a cunt?"




"You want two subs to sit near these co-ordinates, and you then want us to recall a large portion of our navy to the whole area gets covered," said Donald.


"I also want to get some British ships in the area for upgrades so that the north won't look as suspicious," said Robodaria.


"We should also discretely reduce the crew to a skeleton. This is seriously high risk, every contact with these people so far, we got our asses kicked," said Daria.


"We also have to assume that they are listening to all our satellite communications, someone's going to have to fly out to those ships and brief them as they move."


"We need to set up the submarine cluster so that they think we are not looking at the void."


"We'll dispatch the submarines on the ELF make a big ring centered well south of the co-ordinates, and I'll have someone sent to the ships with the mission details, do that before the recall so we don't spook the Borg," said Donald


"Alright then," said Daria.


"Looks like your people are finally doing something useful," said Donald.


"Aww shucks, it was nothing," said Daria.


"We'll get back to work now," said Robodaria.




"Hey Daria," said Jane as she and Spike met Daria and Robodaria in the corridor.


"Hey Jane, how'd it go with the spell search?"


"We got a location for the spell caster, we're going to go to LA to find the source. Amanda's made a compass, we're going to requisition a jet to fly over there so Amanda is ready for a fight," said Jane.


"Sweet. But, what memory spell?" asked Daria.


Jane let out a laugh, then said "we'll find out soon, I hope."


"Okay then, be lucky."


"You too," said Jane.




"What's up?" asked Gina as she and Willow ate.


Willow hesitantly said "I think either Rebecca, or someone who wants me to do something horrible to Rebecca, was using telekinesis to feel me up."


"Oh ... Okay, what you gonna do about it?"


"Gonna do a spell seeing spell to try to catch whoever's doing it in the act, then do something horrible to them."


"Can I help?"


Willow thought about it, and said "We'll see."




"Tom, you're taking Daria out tonight?"


"I'd better be, the restaurant doesn't refund on cancellation," said Tom as he considered which tie to wear with his suit.


"I thought you were allergic to suits AND fancy restaurants," said Angier, fascinated to see his son dressing in smart casual of his own volition.


"Yeah, but, I feel like a change of approach. Haven't been able to talk to her in like, eight months now, so I'm going to want to spend the night talking to her."


After a little thought, Angier suggested "Maybe a couple of gifts to win her heart?"


"Oh, yeah, I got her the complete works of H.G. Wells," said Tom.


"Books?" asked Angier.


"She's a bookworm," said Tom.


"Okay ... I went ahead and bought something for her," said Angier.


Tom turned to him looking skeptical about what his dad had for Daria.


Angier produced a velvet covered box and opened it, saying "Maybe she'd appreciate a piece of jewelry, even a bookworm has got to have some normal urges."


Tom looked at the emerald encrusted gold watch.


"Couldn't hurt. Thanks dad."




"Tiffany, whatever happened at school, surely you can't think it's an excuse for, well, smashing the place up like that, can you?" asked her dad.


Tiffany ran her fingers through her hair as she paced and said "I know, shouldn't have happened that way, should have just walked out and found something else to trash. ... You know those re-education camps certain countries are famous for? That's what it felt like, science teacher was ending each sentence with 'proving God's hand in the shaping of the universe'. And the history teacher was quizzing us on the fucking bible, I mean, I'm no brain, but isn't that what the First Amendment was supposed to ban?"


"It is, state can't take sides in matters of religious expression," said Daria. she then continued saying "I was hoping to get my mom's law firm on side to challenge it, but they were on the side of the evangelicals. ACLU got picketed for trying to get the laws repealed, there were even spells cast to make everyone think that all the local ACLU representatives were a pedophile ring. Got those undone, but guess who cast those spells?"


"Who?" asked Tiffany.


"Give you a hint, they're multidimensional and seem to have their fingers in every pie, crooked or otherwise."


"Aww, those rat motherfuckers," said Tiffany.


"Who?" asked Mr. Deckler.


Daria made a 'Shh' gesture and looked around the house saying "they're classified, more than the usual stuff."


"But, they're evil," said Tiffany.


"So's just about anyone who wanted to rule a fascistic regime," said Daria.


"We'd better get looking for an agnostic school, now that all the public schools are now officially Christian. Oh, eventually found the letter from school and from the PTA, haven't exactly been high functioning since that little APOCALYPSE we seemed to have had," said Mr. Deckler.


Daria glanced at her watch and said "I'd better get on, meeting Tom in half an hour, kind of owe him for disappearing off the face of the earth with barely a 'sorry, can't talk' I didn't get around to saying."


"Good luck with that," said Tiffany.




Tom showed up at the Morgendorffer house with the book he selected for Daria, the Watch his dad had selected for Daria, the flowers his mom had selected for Daria, the aftershave Elsie had selected for Daria (Which made him smell like a girl, this aroused him. He wondered belatedly if Elsie was having a laugh, and then wondered how he became so naïve as to trust Elsie not to hit him with a prank.)


This would be tense. He wanted to win her back, but a lot of the stuff he was bringing was so over the top he wondered if he would instead end up driving her off screaming 'Psychotic, girlfriend-strangling stalker'.


Of course the way her life had gone: Getting busted, getting sent down, then getting some shadowy government job, that probably wouldn't be as much of a concern for her.


He had also seen Jane on TV, helping Tiffany and some British guy rescue the Griffin family from a Ku Klux Klan cell.


Seeing Jane in all that gear, camouflage face paint, leaf cape, silenced MP5, a bow and quiver full of fucking arrows ...


He wanted to know what the fuck was happening to his two favorite girls.


He knocked on the door and waited.


Quinn answered the door and said "five minutes," before closing the door again and running back upstairs.


"No, that's fine, I'll wait outside," he said.




"Tom?" asked Daria.


"Yep, stay still," as Quinn returned to her position behind Daria, where she was working on Daria's makeup.


Since Daria and Quinn hadn't asked Tom what he'd be wearing, it was essential that Quinn configured Daria so her look would match as wider range of partner styles as possible.


Tom was dressed in a black suit, red shirt, and silver tie. Daria was already wearing a purple dress with black tights and black low heels, her hair was now in a pair of purple hairclips and a purple scrunchie, this would go with a grey jacket.


Quinn was just finishing up the mascara on Daria's eyes and after one last look, she said "Perfect."




"Better than that new outfit you seem to like, makes you look like a fucking spook."


"Quinn, I am a spook."


"Yeah, but even then you're not supposed to look like one," said Quinn.


"Okay," said Daria as she put her keys and wallet in one of her dress pockets, and her cell phone in the other. She then picked up the envelope she had brought home with her headed down.




Tom turned when he heard the door open and saw Daria and Quinn standing there.


"Why did you leave him out here?" asked Daria.


Quinn looked embarrassed.


"You've got a lot to learn about guys, Quinn," said Daria as she stepped out, asking "Your ride or mine?"


"Mine," said Tom.


He led Daria to his car, which was now looking extremely flash. Blue metallic paint, lifting doors, and from what Daria could see of the interior, it too was now looking flash.


"Parents got MTV to pimp my ride," explained Tom.


"Ah," said Daria.




Jane and Spike sat down next to Amanda in the plane and the pilot immediately proceeded to start the engines and request departure clearance.


"Gunn will meet us in Los Angeles, he'll help us raid the place," said Spike.


"Right, you've worked with him before, right?" asked Jane.


"Yeah, good man, aside from his involvement in the situation with Illyria," said Spike.


"How was he involved?"


"He signed a release paper to get her sarcophagus through customs in order to make the mental upgrade permanent, got addicted to being a skilled lawyer. It was lucky Winifred hadn't been infected, but he still felt pretty bad about it."


"Yeah, well, Stacy DID get infected, so he DOES have something to feel bad about. You said an upgrade, from what?"


"He used to head this gang that patrolled LA hunting vampires. Initially for self defence, but they then got genocidal, had a falling out with him and Angels crew. This was, of course, long before Angel's group took the management jobs at Wolfram And Hart LA. And ever since, he's been half and half vampire hunting and soliciting, mostly helping overturn wrongful convictions for capitol crimes or fighting censorship."


"Mild mannered lawyer by day, dark avenger by night," said Jane.




"A non-disclosure agreement? What do I need that for?"


They had just arrived at the restaurant and Daria had finally opened the envelope she had been carrying.


"Just in case you ask about work, and you probably will when I start explaining what's been going on with me over the past half year."


Tom looked at the document, then he shrugged and signed it.


Daria put it back in the envelope and Tom asked "So, how've you been?"


"Fighting the forces of evil, Joined an organization called the Watcher's Council, then that merged with the NSA and MI6 after that little war that happened shortly after Easter," said Daria.


"Watcher's Council ... What do you watch?"


"Girls," said Daria.


"Girls?" asked Tom, suddenly questioning Daria's sexuality in his mind, "is this what it so far sounds like?"


"No ... The girls are vampire slayers, mystically enhanced girls. It's a long story, but basically, these girls are employed as soldiers to fight mystical threats such as vampires. There's a whole load of developments about the Watcher's Council that doesn't make much sense, it used to be just one girl that was active at any one time, these powers, enhanced strength, combat macros, the ability to sense vampires. There was apparently no way to change this, or which of the potential slayers. Only certain girls can be enhanced in this manner, get activated."


"Okay, now, I know you've been practicing, but I can't quite tell: Are you joking?"


"No, straight up, check this:" Daria floated the candle in the middle of the table using telekinesis.


Tom waved his hand around the candle looking for wires.


He then looked under the table for signs of any kind of device that could be generating an alternating magnetic field to induce a current in the candle stand, but found nothing, he looked around the restaurant for any thing else that could indicate a technological means to pull this off.


Finally he asked "So, this isn't a wind up then, you're using actual, honest to god magic?"


"Yeah, took a while to develop this ability, but I'm able to precisely manipulate objects with my mind."


"Okay ... So, what caused you to disappear like that?"


"I was wanted for involvement in a conspiracy to steal police property, I had to establish a new alias before I could have my robot self escape."


"Your robot sel- ... When I visited you in prison, you're telling me that that wasn't you?"


"That's right."


"Okay, I notice you're using your own name and walking around like a free citizen now, what happened there?"


"The organization I work for struck a deal with the US and UK governments to keep ourselves out of jail, we're working for them."


"Doing what?"


"What we were doing anyway, except we also have to do what they want too. In the UK, that seems to be simply training UK forces to use magic. Over here, we have to investigate stuff with any mystical angle."


"Okay," said Tom, trying to absorb all this new information, and also weighing what he's seen and heard from Daria with what he used to perceive as reality.




"Jane," whispered Spike.


"Yes?" whispered Jane.


"Ever done it in an airplane toilet?" asked Spike.


"Never felt the urge to, but considering the size of the jet, it would be a touch obvious, don't you think?"




Eventually spike said "Alright, I got nothing."


"What you gonna do, get her pregnant? I honestly don't care," said Amanda.


The two vampires looked at the witch, then they got up and went to the aircraft's bog for a bonk.




"Well, that's about it," said Daria, rounding off the explanation.


"Wow ... ... I thought it was drugs that made you run off like that," said Tom.


"Do I look like a stoner?" asked Daria.


"More like a Tweaker," said Tom.




"Erm ... got some presents for you," said Tom, lacking anything else to say.


"Presents are good," said Daria.


"I got you the complete works of H.G. Wells," he said, as he lifted the parcel he had been carrying onto the table.


Daria almost smiled as she said "Excellent."


"A jewel encrusted watch," said Tom, as he handed her the smaller parcel.


Daria opened it and looked at it, saying "Keep talking."


Tom chuckled, and said "And ... A load of flowers," he produced the bundle, saying "seemed like a bad idea to wrap these up."


"Thank you," said Daria, as she accepted the flowers, she then said "So, how have you been? Still going to Bromwell?" using a stereotypical posh accent in pronouncing Bromwell.


"They don't really talk like that there ... I hope."




Jane and Spike emerged from the cubicle adjusting their clothes.


"Why did I think that would be more fun?" asked Jane.


"All the hype about the bleeding mile high club," said Spike.


"We'd have to be pre-teen to do that," said Jane.


"Are we there yet?" asked Spike.


"No, besides, sun's still up over there," said Amanda.


"Hmm, why does this world have to be round again?" asked Jane.


"Stupid gravity," commented Spike.




"So, ever been on patrol?" asked Chao Ahn.


"We're not really the patrol type," said Rebecca, as she accompanied Chao on their route to their sector.


"How was it when you learned you were a Slayer?"


" ... Strange ... Apparently me being a potential explains why I joined the army and progressed to the SAS."


"No sudden relocation into a strange land by someone who couldn't speak your language who spoke a language you couldn't understand, that kept giving you ice cream even though you had made it clear that you were lactose intolerant?"


Rebecca looked at Chao strangely and finally asked "Wha?"


"Never mind," said Chao.


"I take it from you accent you're not from around here?" asked Rebecca.


"China, just moved to shanghai when Giles showed up talking about the bringers and the First Evil and the watcher's council in broken Cantonese, getting most of it wrong. It got so creepy that I was desperately trying to figure out how to get away from him long enough to call the cops."


Rebecca chuckled, saying "My first impression of him was that he was a terrorist, and was desperately trying to figure out a way to kill him."


Chao looked at her darkly.


"That sounded much less disrespectful in my head," commented Rebecca.


"That's still not funny, I came to respect the man, even grew to like him," said Chao.


"I know, I'm sorry, didn't mean to-" suddenly she stopped with her fist raised, looking at a couple of people at the locked gates of the cemetery they were walking near.


They were around a gentle bend from them, so the people at the gate were unable to see them, whereas Rebecca and Chao could see their asses.


After they heard a loud bang, they heard a chain clatter on the ground, and saw them enter the cemetery. Rebecca waved Chao down as she and Chao dropped to one knee to reduce their profile over the tombstones.


Rebecca used her hands to illustrate the formation she wanted them to take around the people, then waved Chao towards the gate. She then raised herself enough to see where the intruders were facing, before dropping again and jumping over the spiked bar fence and landing on all fours on the other side, she then silently moved between the tombstones.


Chao proceeded as she guessed Rebecca wanted her to.


The two slayers were packing bows and arrows, carrying them in standard rifle bags, when Chao was in formation, Rebecca held her bag up to signal Chao to pull her bow and string it.


Rebecca pulled her bow from her bag and pulled at the pulley that would pull the string through the end of the bow until it latched, as the awkward force vector would defeat a slayer.


She then slung her quiver over her shoulder and glanced at Chao, who was showing the tip of her bow over the headstones signaling she was ready.


Rebecca nodded and waved her forwards, they tracked the intruders.


They saw the intruders looking around, but not closely enough to see the slayers.


The intruders grinned, and started ... spraying?


Four people appeared around them, and the two intruders stopped what they were doing.


"What'ya doing?" asked one of the new individuals.


"Looks like we got a pair of Nazis here," said another.


"Hmm, hang on: Two Nazis, four undead kikes: I make that, transfusion O'clock, don't you?" said another, paraphrasing the adverts for Pimm's.


They then vamped out and grabbed the two Nazis, Rebecca pumped her fist a couple of times before popping up as she knocked an arrow, drew while picking a vampire, and firing.


Chao shot at about the same time as Rebecca had, the remaining two paused in their activity as they tried to locate the people that had caused their mates to turn to dust, that was the length of time it took for Rebecca and Chao to reload and fire.


The two intruders the Vampires had identified as Nazis stood there looking between the two slayers, they then settled on a course of action: Cheese it!




The two slayers located two police constables tracking outside the fence to the gate, trying to intercept the Nazis.


Rebecca slung her bow along with her bag and made a grasping gesture at the Nazis, Chao nodded, and they each pursued a Nazi.


"Here you go," said Rebecca as she shoved the Nazi into the arms of the cop that had been after the one she caught.


"Thanks," said the cop.




Rebecca looked amused at the one Chao had apprehended.




"Right, now, if I may ask, what are you two doing here?" asked the cop.


"I can't discuss this, I'm Rebecca Gallagher, my co-worker is Chao Ahn, run a name check."


The cop finished cuffing the Nazi and grabbed his radio, saying "Sierra Oscar from 171, receiving, over?"


"One seven one from Sierra Oscar, go ahead, over."


"Yeah, can I have a name check please? Rebecca Gallagher and Chao Ahn, spelt ... " he looked to Rebecca, directing the Mic at her.


"Charlie Hotel Alpha Oscar, Alpha Hotel November," said Rebecca.


"Over," finished the cop.


A few seconds later, the controller said "One Seven One from Sierra Oscar, the names Rebecca Gallagher and Chao Ahn are blocked, over."


"Received, out." He then took the Nazi and said "Come on, you're nicked."




Tom and Daria arrived back at the Morgendorffer residence.


"So, I suppose you got work tomorrow," said Tom.


"Yeah, but why don't you come in?" asked Daria.


They headed into the house, Daria placed the books on the sofa and headed to the kitchen saying "Just going to put the flowers in some water."


Tom waited in the lounge.


Daria eventually returned with the flowers in a vase.


"So, can we do this again, or stay in touch?" asked Tom.


"I'd like that ... As you know, I'll be keeping crazy hours at unexpectable intervals, but I will try to keep in touch from now on."


"I really didn't mean to freak you out, it's just I did wondering what was happening to you."


"I know, I know, but I haven't really been the best girlfriend in the world, have I?"


"Iiiiii ... suppose not."


"You still got that condom?"


Tom looked startled.


"No fucking about this time, I really do owe you, so, if you want me, you're guaranteed me."


Daria waited for Tom to make up his mind.


Tom eventually said "I don't want our first time to be just about favours, I want it to be about love."


"I know, and I do love you, the main thing keeping me from having sex with you was fear."


"Okay, and you're sure you want this?"




"Alright then."




Daria then led him upstairs.




"What were you two doing in that graveyard?" asked Reg.


"No comment," said the Nazi.


"Just some inconsiderate yob went and sprayed a load of swastikas and phrases such as, and I quote: 'Dodge this oven if you can' next to a devil, and 'Beg Hitler to piss on your burning soul, he won't but it'll be funny', we recovered the spray cans we believed were used to deface the gravestones, and Forensics are processing the cans to see if the paint matches that used to deface the graves, and to see if your prints were on the cans, do you have any response to this?"


"No comment."


"Well, then you will be charged."


"And what of that slanty eyed cow that roughed me up?"


"Who are you referring to?" asked Reg.


"Chao Ahn."


Reg and Tony looked at each other for a few minutes.


"Did you see an oriental girl?" asked Reg.


Tony looked at Reg and said "No."


"Hmm. Perhaps we should have the shrink look at him, he might be hallucinating."


"Or just outright lying."




"How many does that make so far?" asked Yvonne.


"Chao Ahn, Rebecca Gallagher, plus all the others, forty three so far," said Reg.


"All the names blocked, all packing various sharp weapons, some carrying consecrated water, and piles of dust everywhere we find them," said Roger.


"Here, I don't suppose you can add anything to this?" asked Reg of Sgt. Dale Smith.


"Not really, the powers that be have deemed that we don't need to know, being ex. Army, I tend to think we should trust them unless there's a specific reason not to."


"I still think we should investigate, discretely of course, but I would feel better if we knew what they were doing before we decide to just let them be," said Reg.


"Fair enough," said Dale, "but we will have to be discrete if we don't want our efforts disrupted."


The relief agreed to their course of action, then finished their drinks and decided to head home.




"Charlie Boy, how've you been?" asked Spike.


Charles chuckled as he greeted spike with a hug, saying "Spike, Man, how've you been?"


"Good, good, You've met Jane, and this is her mum, Amanda."


Gunn shook their hands and said "So, where's this happening?"


"Vail's place."


"Of course," said Gunn, considering the reason that they didn't say this on the phone. Wolfram And Hart had made it its business to have all twenty fat fingers and toes in every bent, stolen and crooked pie on Earth, including possibly the NSA. Mentioning Civus Vail on the phone would cause interference to occur.


"Do you know anything about what's happened with the place lately?" asked Spike.


"Yeah, Vail's next of kin inherited the place, he just stepped with into the role Vail had in the Circle," said Gunn.


"You said our memories have all been edited by this spell?" asked Gunn.


"Yeah, we uncovered it when trying to work out why Jane is pregnant."


"I thought Jane was supposed to be a vampire," said Gunn.


"I am, that's why we were looking for a magical factor."


"Oh, okay."


Amanda, Jane, Spike and Gunn got in the car and drove off. Luckily they had a hanger available to disembark in.


"Heard about that girl the Klan killed, she was a friend?" Asked Gunn.


"Yeah, well, only recently. Most the time we were growing up, she was just some brat to me. I didn't hate her, but we ended up in different cliques, she in the Fashion Club, and me ... Well, I didn't really have a clique, but we were officially enemies. And in reality I found her amusing, dunno how she found me."


"When did you become a vampire?" asked Gunn.


"Just over half a year ago, of course if my mom wasn't a witch, I'd probably have killed everyone I care about by now."


"How did it happen?" asked Gunn.


"Some guy I scored with, got into blood play, thought it was just something kinky, turns out not."


"But once you got used to being super strong and able to sense things better--" started Spike.


"I freaked out initially, I was like, 'Fucking hell, I'm a vampire, what the fuck am I gonna do now?', you know, he could have told me."


"Would you have gone for it if he told you?"


Jane shrugged, and said "I don't know ... I might have assumed it was part of the scene he was acting and still done it without knowing it would change me."


"Which kind of makes your anger at your sire redundant, dunnit?" asked Spike.


"Yeah, it does."


"So, Civus's son, what's he like?" asked Amanda.


"Malachi Vail, pretty powerful, gonna need some serious powers to do anything to him," said Gunn.


"Oh, I think we got what we need," said Amanda.




They arrived on premises.


The mansion had a section on its ass end that was obviously new, due to those two nukes Illyria had thrown at Civus in the dining room.


"What do we have on Civus's place?" asked Amanda.


"City plans, doubt they're accurate, and Illyria's maps from her own observations, which were in the areas we have plans for anyway, but that gives us furniture and items that wouldn't have been included on the plans," said Gunn.


"And this," said Amanda, as she produced a spherical flask with a small arrow floating within it, a purple glow pulsed around it at about a quarter of a hertz.


"Okay then," said Spike, "should be dark soon."


"Malachi did inherit Civus's army along with his mansion, feel up to that?"


Jane opened one of the bags they had brought, pulling out a minigun along with its support pack containing its magazine and CHP/Kerosene turborocket generator, saying "I think so."


Spike also pulled a minigun.


"Got anything I can carry?" asked Gunn.


Spike pushed another bag to him and said "An M246"


Amanda pulled her cell phone and called the people that would help her as Gunn pulled the M246 Minimi out of the bag.


"This is one of the good things about working for the government."


"Just like your legal skills are one of the good things about working for Wolfram and Hart," said Spike.




Malachi Vail was in the process of kicking ass in online Mechwarrior when he realized that it wasn't just the top of the range soundcard that was producing the sounds he was hearing.


"What the fuck?" he said as he paused the game and stood up, trying to work out where the sounds, which were really loud buzzes, were coming from.


One of the guards entered the room and said "SIR, TWO VAMPIRES, A WITCH AND A LAWYER ARE SHOOTING THEIR WAY UP HERE!"


This guard was then ripped apart by a burst of gunfire from behind.


Malachi then realized that the buzzes were muzzle reports from one of the vampires, a girl, carrying a minigun entered the room and started firing on him.


His shield was up well in time to deflect the bullets.


The other vampire entered and moved around him also shooting bursts from his minigun.


The witch entered, and checked her watch.


The female vampire looked to the witch expectantly.


Neither vampire was shooting at Malachi, and the lawyer was now in view, he was packing a light machinegun.


The witch drummed her fingers against her thigh as she looked around, looking antsy.


"Well?" asked the female vampire.


The witch checked her watch again and said "any second now."


"Any second now, we're gonna get our asses handed to us on a plate," said the Lawyer.


The female vampire slung her minigun and crossed her arms.


The male vampire rested his minigun over his shoulder and said to Malachi "Sorry for the delay, we will be kicking your ass shortly."


Malachi chuckled as he asked "What exactly are you doing here?"


The witch's head then snapped back as her eyes glowed.


Malachi realized what was happening and after briefly reassessing the tactical situation, he finally said "Aww."


The witch then pointed her palms at Malachi and Malachi was squashed into a singularity that promptly evaporated.




Amanda produced the spherical flask again, and saw the arrow pointing at a door in the back of the room.


Amanda opened the door with telekinesis and Jane entered ahead of her.


They found themselves in an absurdly large room for the available space.


"Trippy," commented Jane.


"Spacial distortion for you," commented Spike.


Amanda kept moving the compass side to side occasionally in order to try to work out their distance from the source of the spell was.


Jane started hissing and tutting the Dr. Who theme.


"Could you not do that please?" asked Spike.


Jane stopped, looking at Spike for an explanation.


"Annoying experiences I had with a sci-fi nerd," explained Spike.


Jane nodded and they proceeded in silence.


Eventually they got to a steel box.


Amanda put the flask away and tried the lock.


She couldn't get through, "There's a shield around this box, and I'm almost out of energy."


"Can we blast through?" asked Jane.


"Sure, if we had a couple of kilotons of TNT, but if we use too much, we could destroy the contents without reversing the spell."


"Jane, we are NOT setting off a nuclear explosion in the middle of LA," said Spike.


"Think you can deflect the blast away from civilization?" asked Jane.


"I think so," said Amanda, going through her gear.


"Okay," said Jane as she went through her gear.


Two kilotons translated to 17.64 micrograms, Jane assembled a number of pieces of paper and Amanda looked through her supplies for an appropriate shielding spell.


"We're still gonna get an enormous fireball," said Gunn.


"This place have a swimming pool?" asked Jane.


"It has a fifteen by five metre pool three metre deep, I'm not sure that'll do it for a two kiloton device."


"It'll be a smaller version of the Baker blast, I'm sure. Trust me, I know my math now," said Jane.




"Our main story tonight, a blast in Los Angeles, thought to be the work of terrorists using a swimming pool filled with trinitroglycerin, threw chunks of a building distances up to 500 metres from the hypocenter. The National Security Agency released a statement saying they were following leads, and were hopeful that they would have the suspects in custody soon."




"Why do I get the feeling that you three have something to do with this?" asked Donald.


"Because we were investigating the case," said Jane.


Jane, Gunn and Spike were in an office at the precinct that had jurisdiction over the area where the blast had occurred.


"Where's your mom?" asked Donald.


"Chasing up some leads, didn't say where. Just she'd call when she was done," said Jane.


"I see."




Amanda finished her preparations.


The box had contained an Orlon window, if shattered, those around it would remember a different reality.


The problem with it that was that if she shattered it, only those within sight of it would remember, and no one else.


So she was going to set it up so that when it shattered, everyone would regain their memories.


"Let the veil be lifted," she finished as she poured the 'shroom tea on it.


There was a flash, and she suddenly remembered some kid who had accompanied Jasmine around (Before Jasmine was revealed to be some sort of life sucking god of decay) and then had taken a bunch of hostages a year and a third ago.


The kid had then be knocked out and dragged off by Angel, CEO of Wolfram and Hart LA.


That was almost interesting, but only because of the trouble someone had gone through to cover it up, which brought her to the next question: Why has this been covered up?




"Whoa," said Tom as he suddenly paused.


"Did you-" started Daria.


"-Suddenly regain a bunch of memories that some magical spell had covered up for a year and a third for no apparent reason?" asked Tom.


"You did then."


"Yeah, that was weird."


"Yeah," agreed Daria.


Tom then shrugged and resumed fucking Daria in the leapfrog position.




Donald left the room, having been hit by the same lifting of the spell that everyone else on the planet had undergone.


Eventually Jane asked "Anyone remember a boy just over a year ago?"


"Yeah, that's Conner, and you're in trouble."


"What do you mean?"


"Conner was born from a vampire, vampire couldn't discharge him though her cervix, Caesarian wasn't happening either, Darla, the vampire that carried him to term, had to stake herself to save him."


"Darla? The same Darla I ran with?" asked Spike.


"Baby's soul influenced her, we didn't realize the shield wouldn't drop until well into labour, Jane, we need to talk to your mother about this ASAFP."


"Yeah, I guess we'd better," said Jane, looking horrified.




Willow walked into work in a trance.


She had to maintain this spell over the whole day if she wanted to identify the pervert that had been telekinetically feeling her up.


She started discussing the exercise she had arranged to use telekinesis in combat.


She suddenly felt her panties ride up into her slit, pushing into her vestibule, and upon looking down, she saw two ghostly hands manipulating her panties, attached to ...


Willow stood up straight, and said "Corporal Gallagher, please accompany me outside, right now!"


Rebecca looked stunned, and everyone else looked confused.


"Staff," Rebecca acknowledged, as she stood up and followed Willow out.


They were eventually sufficiently far enough away in Willow's opinion to have this discussion without anyone overhearing, she turned around and asked "What in the name of FUCK do you think you're doing?"


"Staff?" asked Rebecca.


"While you were busy rearranging my underwear with your mind, I was running a spell that would allow me to see precisely that kind of tampering, so I ask again, what are you playing at?"


"Well, I started to fancy you, and I knew you were into women-"


"Especially women whose partner you shot? Yes, that's a real turn on, Gallagher, next time I date someone, I'll get them in an open top car, and drive by a book depositary after calling you with my schedule so you can assassinate her, then we'll go home and spend the entire night having hot passionate sex."


Rebecca looked stuck for a second, then said "Sorry, but I really do love you, I was just hoping I could get you to like me back."


Willow was stunned.


"You've got some serious mental problems, Gallagher."


Rebecca shrugged and said "Who dares wins."


Willow tensed every muscle as she fought down the urge to eject this nut case through every floor above her and throw her into the Thames, and ultimately said "get back to class, I'll be with you shortly, but you WILL not feel me up again in any way, or I'll rip your ovaries out of your body and force them up your nose and down your throat ... ... okay?"


"Yes, staff," Rebecca said as she returned to the class.




"Okay, that's a problem," said Amanda, having been told what Gunn knows of vampire pregnancies.


"Why the fuck was this covered up anyway?" asked Spike.


"I don't know, it was probably Angel who did it, since he's Conner's dad, and he was the one that had signed the deal, we stopped remembering Conner just before we found out from Angel that we had taken over Wolfram and Hart LA."


"Okay, can you think of anyone who might be able to add something useful?" asked Jane.


"Only possibilities I can think of are Wesley and Winifred ... ... There are a bunch of thins that Conner's presence precipitated, this bullshit prophecy for instance, made out that Angel was going to kill Conner, Wesley took the initiative and abducted Conner, then lost the baby when Justine, one of Holtz's followers, jacked him."


"Woah, slow down, who's Holtz?" asked Jane.


"Daniel Holtz was a vampire hunter Angel tormented while he was without a soul, Angel killed his wife and turned his daughter while he was diverted, Holts went out for revenge, conspiring with Sahjhan against angel, although Sahjhan was actually trying to kill Conner because Conner was prophesized to kill him, that thing with the Reilly's makes perfect sense now."


"Reilly's?" asked Jane.


"Yeah, this kid had to fight this demon, Angel went along with it for reason that weren't made clear, but why was this spell done exactly?"




Wesley and Winifred lay in the bed processing the memories they had just recovered.


Finally Wesley asked "What was that?"


"That was us remembering a reality that got covered up by a magical spell that made us all believe Conner didn't exist."


"Ah ... what happened to it?"


"I don't know, we'll have to talk to Amanda or Willow, see if we can get an answer on that," said Winifred.


"I abducted Conner thinking Angel was going to kill him," said Wesley.


"Yeah, that was awkward."


"Tell me."


"Oh, shit, Jane," realized Winifred.


"I know, on it," said Wesley as he picked up the phone.



Part 2.



Everyone sat down in the briefing room.


Inspector Gold eventually entered the room and started off the briefing saying "Right, your attention please? Everyone shut up, thank you. Now, last night there was another call to a blocked name, I have been trying to find out what's going on, but surprise surprise, the defence secretary doesn't want to say anything, so we have to respect that and let them do what ever it is they are doing, okay?"


Reg raised his hand and asked "What if it's extraordinary renditions?"


"If you witness a crime, nick them, investigate until ordered otherwise, but officially, they are free to do what they like. I do know the ethical arguments, I've heard them all my career, but we have a job to do, and that includes the usual bad guys too, alright?"


Everyone nodded, and Gina got on with the rest of the briefing, covering various reports of criminal activity from last night.




"Extraordinary renditions?" asked Amber.


"Yeah, basically, torture's illegal in the US and UK, so the CIA sends its prisoners to be worked over in places where it isn't. But considering that makes the CIA guilty of depraved indifference and conspiracy, they might as well just save themselves the airfare and do it themselves," said Reg.


They headed off to the secure parking area to set off on their assigned patrol route.


Amber hummed the theme for 'the X-files' for a few seconds, Reg took no notice.




"We need to do a lot of work here people," said Henno.


This drew a round of "aww"s from the rest of the troop.


"Our tactics depend on speed and surprise, people, and we didn't have either. We show up at an operation doing that, the bad guys will be laughing, so cut the attitude, and get ready to go again!"


Willow may have formed the exercise, but it was Henno that was running it.


The killing house, where the SAS trained for clearing a structure of terrorists without harming hostages, where they had learned the techniques they had used to storm the Watcher's council last time the First Evil had hit them.


Usually they'd be running through the structure with MP5s, now they were running through the structure with throwing stars.


Throwing stars they'd telekinetically throw at the targets.


The difference between this and shooting was the number of moves needed, because with a gun, you point it at the target and push a button. Point and click. But with throwing stars, you have to pick one up, get it to a start position, and throw it. Doing that several times a second at more than one target was difficult.


But this was going to give them a backup weapon to their normal armaments, Willow was also training them to use shield spells, including instant TK shields, these would be developed until they can deflect bullets.




Buffy heard a knock at her door and said "Come in."


Aiden and Geoff entered.


"We need to talk," said Geoff.


"Hence you being here, what's up?" asked Buffy.


"We've been getting complaints from African governments about gangs of girls working for the British assaulting their people, I think you know exactly who these individuals are, care to explain?"


Buffy looked stunned and said "I'll have to look into it," getting a notepad and a pen, before asking "anything else you can tell me?"


"Yes, the governments complaining are Sudan, Zimbabwe, and South Africa, they are complaining that their security forces and civilian staff working for them have been targeted and hospitalized, and that if they aren't reigned in, they will take action."


Buffy wrote these details saying "okay, anything else?"


"Yes, how's it going with red troop?"


"Willow says they're progressing well. They have good telekinesis, have gotten several shielding, sleeping, and anti-poison spells down pat. She's going to start looking at teaching them astral projection soon, she's got them running an exercise cleaning houses with TK ... cleaning houses?"


"You mean house clearing?" asked Aiden.


"Yeah," said Buffy.


"Okay, well, carry on," said Geoff as he left.


"I'll be back in a moment to discuss red troop's progress in a couple of minutes," said Aiden before he left.


Buffy then picked up the phone and called Dawn to initiate the investigation.




Tom woke as he felt something inside him release something, feeling alarmed at the seemingly uncontrolled manner of this discharge.


He sat up in alarm, and looked down at Daria, whose head was positioned over his groin.


He calmed down a little as Daria finished what she was doing and eventually said "hope you don't mind, but I thought I should make the swelling go down."


"I'll get over it," he said, he then asked "so, I suppose you have to get ready for work then."


"Yeah," said Daria as she sat up on her heels, taking his hands into hers, smiling at him.


"Last night was alright, yeah? You don't regret anything, or think I took advantage or anything?"


Chuckling, Daria said "no, relax, it was fine, in fact, I'd like to do it again actually, assuming you'd also like to resume our relationship."


"I would actually. Can we talk about this tonight?"


"Sure, let's get cleaned up shall we?"




Wesley and Winifred ate breakfast in silence. Last night's revelation had really fucked with them.


Wesley wanted to start a conversation about this, but he couldn't think of a way of doing this, he couldn't think of a way to start it. He had abducted Angel's son without discussing it with ANYONE!!!


He had thought it was absolutely the right thing, but what he had done to Angel was about the most fucked up thing he could think of. Oh, and it had turned out to be a scheme by this Sahjhan character who wanted Conner dead before Conner could do unto him, god what a fucking embarrassment that had been.


Of course when he was evicted from Angel Investigations, he was angry at everyone for not giving him a chance to explain his actions. Then he had realized they didn't have to be sympathetic, and that his anger was really that he had been so thoroughly suckered by Sahjhan and Justine, and had a near death experience (laceration to the carotid artery) thrown in for fun.


And oh yeah, he had then sought comfort from Lilah Morgan, one of Wolfram and Hart's unapologetically evil star lawyers, the same one that had more recently been involved in a plot to dissect a slayer (forcing Winifred to help).


Winifred tried to think of some way to talk to Wesley about their new memories.


But she couldn't think of any way to start this that seemed to be in any way respectful of the subject.


And how could she begin to discuss this with him after she had basically told him to never return to Angel Investigations while he was recovering from having his throat slit trying to protect Conner, and basically drove him into Lilah Morgan's arms.


It was amazing he hadn't gone dark side. She had been disgusted at him when she had learned about it, but she had quickly realized it was her fault.


She checked her watch as she continued to eat her breakfast. Eventually she finished and after placing her crockery and cutlery in the dishwasher, she said "We shout talk about this tonight."


"Afraid I'm going to be returning to the New York office today, Amanda will need as much help as she can get," said Wesley.


"Right," said Winifred.


"I'll try to get back soon," said Wesley.


Winifred nodded and gathered her coat, keys, and briefcase before heading out to Lockheed where she was helping them develop the weapons they would need to fight the cyborgs.


Wesley had been there helping them develop mystical systems for the weapons systems, but to be honest he could do this more easily from the New York office anyway.


Winifred needed to be close because of the intricacies of the engineering involved.




Daria and Tom, now clean and fully dressed, came downstairs and met with Quinn and Jake who were arguing about Tiffany.






"HEY!" shouted Daria.


"Oh, hi kiddo, you alright there?" asked Jake, suddenly acting calm as if he wasn't arguing just now with Quinn at 320,291,835½db.


"I take it you heard what happened at school yesterday."


"Yeah, your sister's friend seems to have turned into a violent miscreant," said Jake.


"Yeah, this wasn't unprovoked though, school system appears to have decided that the only way to prevent future disasters is to start giving God a rim job."


Jake shuddered saying "eeeeewwww-w-w-w-w-w-w-wwww."


"Of course, they have a particular god in mind, and have decided to adopt the one that commands us to learn fundamentalist teachings only."


"When did this happen?" asked Jake.


"Didn't you get a letter about it?" asked Daria.


"Letter?" asked Jake.


Quinn left the room and returned with a huge ass pile of letters, she sifted through them, ultimately finding one with a Lawndale High School logo on it, and handed it to Jake.


"How come you haven't had your utilities cut off?" asked Tom.


"Direct Debit," said Daria.




"I'm not exactly happy with the way Tiffany chose to express her dissatisfaction, mind, and you're both old enough to look for your own information sources, so I don't want the pair of you cutting class either."


"Daria, Tiffany's not going back, I don't blame her for not going back, but if she's not going to be there ... who the fuck am I going to talk to?"


"You can't be the only student who feels the new curriculum to be stupid ... er."


"Oh, believe me, I am, the rest of the students have bought it, lock, stock and two smoking barrels ... Where did that phrase come from?"


"Firearms, rifles and muskets mostly, three main areas of a firearm are the lock, which is the component that on command initiates the propellant, stock, the bit that rests against your shoulder, and I think you know which bit the barrel is."


"Ah, right, I figured it was something to do with booze or something," said Quinn.


"Okay, well, I'm sorry, but the school's unlikely to take Tiffany back, and I don't see any good reason for you to abscond, you still want an attendance record when you go to college," said Daria.


"Damn it," said Quinn as she headed to her room to pick up her stuff.


"School shouldn't be able to do this," said Tom.


"That's right, we have a fucking constitution which prevents public schools from pulling precisely this kind of bullshit, the problem is that if there's enough people for an amendment, that could change. I'll see what our options are, this isn't a good situation, and I don't want to leave it as is."




"Our night jobs are basically, well, night jobs, we mostly only encounter vampires at night, but in principle, we're here to stop evil, right?"


Buffy thought about this, and said "Yeah, but getting arrested or wanted will heavily interfere with this."


"I'm with you there, but we're in a position to help, and no one else seems to have the will, so we're not going to let people just starve to death, we're going to get them out and deter the local Gestapo from future atrocities. Y'know, like that guy said, first they came for the Jews, and I wasn't a Jew, and then they came for the gas, but I didn't ... err ... "


"Yeah, okay, I'm with you on that, just try not to get caught, and try to get the blame shifted to some other assholes."




Buffy then hung up.


That was everything, except South Africa had no complaints originating from it's soil, it was just rimming Zimbabwe.


The slayers fought the forces of evil. This was mainly vampires, but seeing the problems going on around them in Sudan, where the Sudanese authorities had basically gotten the Janjaweed to start driving people out of their homes.


'Driving people out of their homes' in this instance was a polite way of saying they were riding around setting fire to people's houses (mostly while the occupants were still in them), shooting people in the streets, wounding, torturing, raping, apparently with the support of the Sudanese government (Who were lying their asses off denying involvement).


And Zimbabwe, where Mugabe was basically turning the place into another North Korea, it wasn't the sort of thing you could ignore when you were in a position to do something about it.


This was diplomatically awkward, but frankly, this wasn't something Buffy was going to interfere with.




Daria entered Tiffany's room.


"Hey Daria."


"Tiffany," acknowledged Daria, as she took up a position in front of Tiffany. "I had to think about what happened at school yesterday, I mean, I know the new curriculum is extremely stupid, and that you have had problems, but the way you lost it in that class was not something I can support."


"I know, I know," said Tiffany, nodding.


"Your pay can cover a private tutor while leaving thousands a year left over for whatever else, but you can't get away with this kind of disorder, something like this in the field can get you and others killed."


Tiffany looked at Daria Quizzically.


"I'm sending you to work with New York's gangs unit. You will be infiltrating the Triads, you will help gather enough intelligence to bring known no less than forty percent of their known size."


Tiffany spent a few minutes considering the effect and said "This a Chinese thing? Just 'cos I'm Chinese, I'm an expert on the Triads?"


"You don't need to be an expert, you just need to look like you might be useful to them, they're a gang, they're going to want local talent. What you will need to learn, is how to memorize extremely fleeting details that will be needed to identify other gangsters, we're supposed to be spooks after all."


"Only because the Bush administration have us over a barrel, our task is supposed to be search and destroy."


"It's still a useful skill."


"That you're inflicting as a punishment. God, Daria, I'd have thought you could show a little understanding."


"Sorry, kind of out of that, blew it all on you torturing me, chasing Jane out of town, and raping my sister while making me watch."


Tiffany looked stunned.


"Like I said, I know you were having problems, and still are, but move the fuck on and sort yourself the fuck out."


Tiffany looked at Daria for a few seconds and said "Right. Where and when do I go to start this, slaying sabbatical?"


"Next Monday," said Daria, as she left.


At least she would be able to attend Sandi's funeral.


Tiffany fumed, but decided Daria had a point, she didn't have to be such a fucking hard ass about it, but ...


Tiffany decided to go to the FBI to see what they had on the Triads in preparation for her new job.




"Hey Wesley, what's up?" asked Daria as she arrived.


"You're chipper," commented Wesley.


"Not really, Tiffany caused an incident yesterday, I had to think of something to punish her with."


"Oh, right, well, it sucks to do that, but discipline is important, there's something you're not going to want to hear though."


"What's that?" asked Daria.


"Jane's pregnancy. It's not unprecedented for a vampire to get pregnant, but it's fatal for the baby or the vampire, unless we can find a way of getting through that mystical barrier," said Wesley.




"What else has been happening?"


"Well, we think we have a location on the cyborg's base, and a theory as to why we couldn't locate Upchuck."




"Iron, mystical shield."


"Ah, right, so you used Magnetic Anomaly Detectors?"


"Using them soon, but we actually used NASA's oceanographical survey satellites, since he'd be electrolyzing the rust, and in fact, oxidizing the iron to scrub out the sulphur and other contaminants, the metal we're talking about is the cheap and nasty variety, so he's going to want to clean it up some before using it."


"Okay, so ... of course, oxygen toxicity ... except this seems like something Mr. Ruttheimer might know about," said Wesley.


"Yeah, but we don't really have any other clues, so that's what we're going with."





"There's no magnetic anomaly in the area," said Donald.


"Which means the iron's not being used in this area, it's being made there and immediately taken to the sites where it's being used," said Robodaria.


"How would he join the parts?" asked Daria.


"Probably MIG, some of the iron is made into wire form, they probably build up tons of helium from the power they're using for all of this. That's probably their shielding gas, now the question becomes do they hang on to it, or simply let it go?" asked Robodaria.


"I don't think we're going to be able to find them using waste helium, I think we're simply going to have to follow them from their foundry to their construction sites," said Daria.


"Yeah, but I wouldn't stick planes in that theatre, let alone big slow boats, even with a skeleton crew," said Robodaria.


"Well ... no."




"Well, I was going to suggest we make robots for this, but that could get expensive."


"Oh gee thanks," said Robodaria.


"We could try zombies though," said Daria.


"Zombies???" asked Donald, looking alarmed, "As in lurching rotting corpses that eat brains?"


"As in remote control corpses that can undertake complex tasks, and by the way, zombies tend to look pristine irrespective of their actual state of decay of the bodies used," said Daria.


"Okay, so what do you need?" asked Donald.


"I'll need to research this a little for ingredients and equipment, but aside from that, bodies."


"How fresh?" asked Donald.


"Any state will do as long as the limbs are all attached, but I'd prefer less than a couple of weeks, should be enough people dying without us needing to kill anyone," said Daria.




Quinn sat at a table on her own, eating her lunch.


Today's history had been a little more contemporary, but had still been extremely bent towards the fundamentalist ideology.


The Suffragettes were apparently 'a Satanist cult that had been out to destroy society though the guise of empowering women, using satanic rituals to cause their gullible recruits to shut out reason in place of a suicidal devotion to their twisted agenda.'


There had also been similar things said in that lesson about all female advancement movements since, calling them 'godless satanic witches whose disregard of gods will is starting to cause disaster now.'


Of course, just about every girl in that class challenged it, but the teacher had simply used cheap taunts to wind them up and 'prove that they have no ability to reason', while most the boys chuckled and cheered the teacher.


Quinn eventually finished her lunch and checked her watch, then she headed off to the principal's office.




"Come in," said Angela.


Quinn entered and said "I think we need to have a conversation about the new curriculum."


"What about it?" asked Angela.


"Well, for one thing, it's not too flattering about the abilities of women, or just about any of the feminist movements that have lead to you being able to get your job, why exactly are you going along with this?"


Angela looked pained.


After a while, she said "Because I have no choice."


"The Parent Teacher Association?" asked Quinn.


"If they all pulled their children out, well, not all, but enough to make this school pointless, I'd be out of a job."


"Okay ... How many of the parents were female?"


"First thing I thought of, but they supported the proposed changes to the curriculum."


Angela looked disgusted as she avoided eye contact with Quinn.


"Since I started making an effort, I've learned that it's taken over a century of hard work under extreme, even deadly hostility to gain the human rights we were previously denied upheld in any sense, and the new curriculum threatens to wipe all of that out."


"Thank you, I know the stakes, Quinn, but what I need is ideas."




Jake was watching the news when Quinn stormed in.




Jake didn't respond -- he really didn't need this stress.




Jake continued to focus on the news.


Daria arrived at this point.


Quinn pulled out some papers and said "Look at this."


Daria looked at the text.


Eventually Daria said "Okay, this should help," she turned to Jake and said "Dad, when's the next PTA meeting scheduled to take place?"


Jake was still trying to stay out.


Daria walked over to Jake and waved the papers in front of his face.


Eventually Daria said "Dad, you all right there?"


"A-OK kiddo!" he said with overboard cheer.


"Okay, we need to talk about how we're going to present this to the PTA the next time they meet, and since I'm not a parent, you're going to have to present it."


"Sure, that would be great, present a case to the PTA," he said, sounding like he was in his denial mode.


"Sounds like you have your doubts."


"I do, I know I pretend to keep on top of everything. But in truth, I can barely handle anything beyond the finances and running the house, and I've been out of the loop with anything connected to the PTA."


"Okay, I'll help you with this."




Tiffany was feeling extremely fucked off now.


On top of the fact Daria had decided to punish her with that Triad infiltration assignment. She had started making her learn how to do Glamours, SFX spells, so that in the event the Triads wanted her to kill anyone or inflict serious injury, she can look like she's doing it without actually doing it. It was also going to take some cosmetic surgery and some voice changes to just make her different enough to prevent her being identified from when she was on the news. She was also going to have to alter her fighting style since the world also got several minutes of her duel with Kirsty.


But the thing that was fucking her off right now was that there were no vampires to take it out on.


Punch bags don't fight back, they don't crunch, they don't give you much of a workout back, there's no feeling of accomplishment unless you see your target die.


Tiffany was looking around for things to break.


The problem she had with demolishing park furniture was it was ... she just felt it was wrong, it was beneath her.


But she needed to-


"Hey Tiffany,"


Tiffany stopped and turned around.


"Finally found out your name."


"Yeah, well, remember it, you'll get a group discount when you go to hell," said Tiffany as she started approaching the vampire.


"Oh, I ha'n't heard that one before," said the vampire.


"Neither have I."


Tiffany glanced in the direction of the new voice and said "Kevin, what are you doing here?"


"I'm just hanging out with Barry here, he's cool."


"Kevin, he's a vampire, now fuck off."


"But I'm with him," said Kevin as he vamped out.


Tiffany looked at him for a couple of seconds, Barry was also approaching her, but was still five seconds out. Tiffany eventually said "Well, guess you're dying with him then," and turned to Barry in time to wrap her left arm around his right as she kneed him under the sternum before spinning him onto his back as she pulled a stake and tried to stab him, only for Barry to block her stake and kick her in the face, causing her to drop him.


Barry turned over and tried to bite Tiffany, but Tiffany blocked him. He had grabbed her stake hand preventing her from stabbing him, but she managed to get one knee under him, and she used her other leg to flip him over her. As soon as she was on top, she stood up, moving back to free her stake hand.


Barry flipped the other way.


"Wow, this is pretty cool," said Kevin as he watched.


"Yeah? You should see her in bondage, covered in dirt and bruises, cuts, puncture marks, you remember that, don't you Tiffany? My big, tasty cock in your mouth?"


Tiffany suddenly found her body was outside of her control as it ran at Barry, and started throwing punches.


Barry easily deflected her punches and commented "Oooh, touched a nerve there, or is that a clitoris?"


Tiffany eventually nutted him and he was thrown off his game sufficiently for Tiffany to get some good punches in.


"I didn't know Tiffany was a slut," said Kevin.


Tiffany then turned to Kevin and stalked up to him.


"My, we have touched a nerve, ain't we?"


Tiffany stopped, and realized she was considering the best way to express rage instead of the fastest way to waste the fuckers.


Tiffany pulled her swords.


"Alright, fine, we'll do this later," said Barry as he started skipping back.


"Eh?" asked Kevin.




Kevin shrugged and both vampires ran off.


Tiffany felt her strength disappear and then she felt her eyes start to water.


"For fuck's sake," she muttered as she realized she wasn't going to be able to stop her eyes from doing this.


Tiffany sheathed her swords and found a bench to sit down on while she waited for her tear ducts to run out of tears.




"So, what's the history behind the two of you?" asked Kevin.


"I found her in a nest," said Barry.


"A nest, no way, the nest would have to belong to a ... a tera ... thingy."


"A vampire nest, Kevin, a place vampires select to sleep and ... well basically squat in."


"Squat in?" asked Kevin, feeling confused.


"Nhh. ... Anyway, I enter this nest because I smell this girl who's really afraid, and I get in there, there's Tiffany, tit and clit naked, arms tied behind her like this," he said, pressing his forearms together behind his back to demonstrate, "covered in cuts, bruises, fang marks, some dried jiz on her. Hair and skin looked like they had gone without any kind of hygiene measures of any kind for months, or possibly years, but I think any more than a few months she'd die of pneumonia or something. She looked absolutely adorable like that, oh, her neck was chained to the floor on the end of a long length of chain, like a dog tied to a kennel."


"Wow, didn't know she was into that," said Kevin.


"I don't think she is, all I knew was those vampires that had the nest were apparently keeping her alive, so I decided to leave her that way too. Drank some blood from her foot, she didn't struggle, just moved and moaned a little from the pain, she had been properly broken, you know?"


"And she let you do it with her?"


"Well, I didn't exactly get her permission, Kevin, we're vampires, yeah? Eeee-viiiillll? Yeah?"


"Oh yeah. ... Wait, you're saying you raped her? Dude, that is totally not cool ... "


Barry gave Kevin this pained look.


Kevin was engrossed in some sort of mental puzzle.


"Actually, it is kind of cool, didn't used to think that. Huh. ... So, you did her?"


"Yeah, came back several times, always when they were out. Wasn't much of a conversationalist, but I'm sure I added a little bit more fear to her life. ... Then one day after I had stopped for several weeks, I came back and found the place had been torched. Saw this gap in the floor beam where the chain had been, it smelt of her sweat, also the bits of rope that had been on her arms were lying there. I could only reach the conclusion that Tiffany had killed her captors and escaped."


"Wow," said Kevin, "How long ago was this?"


"Couple of years."






"Hey T."


Tiffany looked to her eight o'clock and said "Hey Faith," before she sat back on the bench.


Faith leaned over the back of the bench next to her and said "I heard about that Triad assignment."


"Oh yeah, the school acts like the 700 Club, and I'm the one who gets punished for justifiable losing it."


"Aww ... ... Wanna find something to hit?"


Tiffany chuckled and said "in a minute."


Faith sat on the back of the bench and swung her feet over, then she sat down next to Tiffany and said "There's something else wrong though, isn't there?"


"Yeah, when I was being held by those four vampires. There was this one other vampire, apparently named Barry, who occasionally entered their nest while the others were out, and did pretty much the same thing they did, I encountered him earlier, I should have been able to kill him."


"Ahhh," said Faith, "but you couldn't, you were so choked up with memories of fear and disgust that you were thrown completely off balance."




"Yeah, happened to me too, piece of shit known as Kakistos. He killed my watcher, chased me all the way to Sunnydale, I'd been activated and I still couldn't engage."


"I want to kill that guy."


"I'll help," said Faith.


"I need to figure out where he is then," said Tiffany.


"What do you know about him?"


"Name of Barry, probably locally sired, he had Kevin Thompson with him, Kevin used to be a high school jock, he flunked out, and now he's a vampire too."


"Thinking Barry's Kevin's sire?" asked Faith.




"What's Kevin like?"


"Industrial grade thickshit."


"Sounds like Barry will be working alone then," said Faith.


"Thing is, I know nothing about this Barry, except he probably wants to play with me ... shit," Tiffany pulled her phone and called her parents.




Kevin knocked on the door. He waited along with Barry until it was answered.


"Kevin? What are you doing here?"


"I kind of need to talk to you, can I come in?"


"No way loser," said Quinn as she closed the door in his face.


Barry looked at Kevin.


"She's just playing hard to get man, maybe there's an open window somewhere."


"Kevin, as a vampire, you need one of the people living in a private dwelling to invite you in, or you'll just bounce off of some sort of shield."


"Really? That's just stupid."


"Yeah, but it's an irrevocable fact, and we need to recruit someone she will let in to drag her out."


"Okay ... but ... "


"You're not about to tell me you don't know anyone?"


"Oh, that's not it, I know some guys, but what does irrecopical mean?"




"No contact," said Tiffany as she turned off her phone and put it away.


"Okay, where else could they have gone?"


"I don't know, Barry I have zero intelligence on, Kevin's about the stupidest person I have ever encountered. ... Okay, Barry wants to come after me, he'll want to know all he can about me from whatever sources are available to him, and right now, that's Kevin, so what does Kevin know about me? ..." a couple of seconds later, she winced and said "He knows I hang out with Quinn," as she pulled her phone and called Quinn.




"Kevin's a vampire? Well, makes sense given what a loser he is now I suppose, he came round here earlier asking to come in."


"Tell me you didn't invite him."


"Of course not, he's a loser, remember?"


"Okay, good, but right now we need to work out what Kevin is likely to suggest to his sire, Barry."




"Yeah, he visited while the other vamps were out, I was hoping I'd eventually take him out myself, but I boned it, so now I gotta find him again."


"But if you failed before, what's gonna be different this time?"


"I got Faith with me."


"Oh, okay, happy hunting."


"Thanks, and keep safe," said Tiffany.




Daria completed the spell and suddenly every corpse in the hanger sat up.


"Okay, now to find out weather or not the corpses will do as I say," said Daria before shouting "ALL ZOMBIES, ASSEMBLE BY THE FRONT DOOR, THREE ROWS, MOVE IT!"


The corpses all ran to the front of the hanger using their arms to space themselves in a three by sixty grid.


Daria followed them, pleased with the results, she asked "DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH SUICIDE MISSIONS?"


None of them raised any objections.


"Okay then," Daria looked over to where the Navy officers were standing. The officers looked a touch nervous about the fact that they were looking at reanimated bodies, Daria then turned back to the zombies "These guys are going to teach you how to run a battleship. You have seventy two hours to learn your jobs before you will be flown direct to the ships where you will replace the crews and survey the areas around you. You will be gathering as much data on the cyborgs we've been chasing and passing it on as quickly as possible. You'll probably be destroyed in the process as the cyborgs become aware of your activity."


The zombies had no response.


"You all understand the orders I have given you so far?"


"Yes ma'am," the zombies chorused.


Daria then turned to the Navy officers, who were staring at Daria like she was pointing her USAS12 at them, and said "All yours," before leaving the hanger.




"This has only happened twice that we know of, I'd be surprised if we find anything," said Wesley.


"You keep saying that," said Jane.


"Yeah, well, it does present a real problem, most magics only work from a specific combination of components, it's not like engineering where you can just use math to make whatever you want," said Amanda.


"I seemed to come up with that spell that turns arrows into energy just fine," said Jane.


"How did you do that by the way?" asked Wesley.


"I took a couple of spells and fused them, you have to put the material in stasis first, then you do the transmutation."


"Bit dangerous, wasn't it?"


"Didn't turn the first objects into energy, turned them into medium carbon steel first."


"Medium carbon steel?" asked Wesley.


"String's cheaper than welding wire, you know how much of that I go through in a week?"


"I see," said Wesley.


"It occurs to me that this is probably simpler than we think, what if all we need to penetrate the shield is something of equal hardness?" suggested Jane.


"You mean like using diamonds to cut diamonds?" asked Wesley.


"Exactly," said Jane.


"Magic doesn't quite work like that," said Amanda.


"Yeah, it's multidimensional to say the least, you got more flavours of magic than you have quar ... "




"You do realize that Donald won't take too kindly to me taking time off the AWE project," said Winifred, who had answered the phone in the middle of machining a reflector system for a pipe shaped laser core.


"I understand that, but Jane's baby will need to emerge eventually, and I really don't want to see either the baby dead or Jane a pile of dust, is there anything I can do on my end?" asked Wesley.


Winifred looked up at the ceiling for a moment and said "Well, I've been working on ways to detect dark matter, but as I've mentioned, it's proving difficult to crack. I'll get there, but if we want access to the equipment and to avoid obstacles such as serving multiple life sentences in some prison that our government outsources just because it's apparently illegal to torture prisoners around here."


"That doesn't stop them."


"Limits which methods they can use, they still have to get away with it."


"The Abu Ghraib screws didn't adhere to any limits."


"The Abu Ghraib screws were exceptionally stupid."


"Hmm, anyway, any help you can render here."


"Yeah, on it."


Winifred hung up and went back to the lathe. It had finished the reflector, and the splash/shrapnel guard opened up for the robot to unload the reflector as the lathe's chuck opened.


Winifred inspected the mirror. The mirror was perfectly smooth, this particular lathe had grinding and polishing tools in it's carrousel.


She took it through to the test mount. It fitted over the front of the pipe shaped laser. She then put on her LCD visor and announced she was about to fire it up. The laser activated, causing the ceiling to fluoresce.


"Okay, powering up the coil," said Winifred as she slowly turned the control that would lift the part of the transformer core out that usually shorted the magnetic circuit.


Slowly a ring became visible over the mirror, the ring extended and tapered.


"Plasma ignition," noted Winifred, keeping in mind that she had to keep the bursts short or they'd start to get harmful nitrogen dioxide levels. She opened the throttle even more and turned it on again.


The ring was this time intensely bright and the visors light activated sensor activated.


The brilliant cone where the plasma was being pushed away from the coil and being confined by the induced magnetic field was almost pure white, the next bands of colour get less bright as the plasma cooled.


Gas spectra worked in the opposite direction to how candescent radiation worked, all your high energy radiation occurred first because your electrons jump furthest first; the next jumps tend to be much smaller and therefore less energetic.


Winifred turned it off and opened the throttle completely and tried it again for half a second, there was a loud shriek as the plasma stream went supersonic, the shock diamonds were barely visible as the glare started to exceed the opacity of the LCD visor, she then shut it off.


She looked up. There was some dark brown smoke high in the room, but that was being sucked into the air conditioning ducts, shouldn't be a problem.


"We have our thruster system, just need to figure out how to make a coil light enough that won't vaporize," said Winifred.


She had done the math and found that normal inductors just can't provide the thrust needed. The saturation was just too damn low, it was going to be an air cored inductor to remove that ceiling, so that just left the current, which had to be about 10,000 times more intense than what it would have to be to give you what you get with a silicon steel core.


That meant making some kind of superconductor system, and even then, it's a bit shit, unless you can do better than 156kA/m. "So, what are the cyborgs making their coils out of?" She asked.



Part 3



"Okay, we've tried the Rowes, the Thompsons, the Griffins, the Morgendorffers, and the entire football team, what else?" asked Faith as she and Tiffany walked down the street, having searched all night without success.


"I don't know, I'd rather not wait until night again, I hate having to wait for these guys to come out to feed."


"Know what you mean, on the plus side we can now legally use incendiary grenades, I could marry your watcher for that. ... Well, if she was gay, and if I were gay too for that matter, and if this state allowed gay marriage and hadn't gone religious stupid mode."


"Yeah ... "


Faith picked up on Tiffany's drop in enthusiasm for discussion on the subject of her watcher, and asked "Things okay between you and Daria?"


"Nah, I mean, she's been alright mostly, but lately, she's been getting increasingly stern."


"Something getting to her perhaps?"


"Might be the school situation, Daria's a card carrying brain, so seeing the education system take this turn would really wind her up."


"That is annoying her, but no, something's off, but ... ... Ahhhhhh, maybe something about the job's turning her into an asshole, could be Donald getting on her case more than usual," said Tiffany.


"Ah yes, I believe Andrew described him as a cross between President Clark off of SG1 and Senator Kinsey off of Babylon 5," said Faith.


"I'll take your word that you're describing a pair of twats, I need to get back to my magical training," said Tiffany.


"All right, well, I got nothing else going on ... Tiffany, we're Special Agents in a shadowy government organization now, aren't we?"




"How old would you say this Barry guy was? Did he give the impression he was older than the invention of the camera?"


"No ... SHIT!!!"




Willow got home and said "Gwen, I'm Home."


Not getting a response, she headed through to the kitchen.


No notes or anything.


Must have a vengeance gig on.


This made Willow uneasy, she remembered when Anyanka was a vengeance demon, she did some truly nasty deeds, the one that had caused Buffy to engage her was the one where this girl that got dumped by her boyfriend in the middle of a frat party (specifically crafted to enhance her humiliation) caused the girl to wish they "Knew what it felt like to have their hearts ripped out."


Anyanka's solution: Call forth a bunch of Grimslaw demons to waste the fraternity.


And anyone else they happen to wander across.


Buffy had to kill Anyanka, Xander had tried to stop this, hoping to find another way of doing this (Couldn't blame him, Willow was far from happy about having to inform Buffy of the situation knowing what Buffy would have to do).


Of course, Anyanka had been human long enough to finally decide to do the right thing: Undo the damage even if it meant she would die in the process, but D'Hoffryn decided it would be funnier to slot Halfrek instead.


Halfrek was one of Anyanka's closest friends, and her death was the worst shock imaginable for Anyanka. Willow was sympathetic, although Anya and Halfrek were just friends, it was still not the kind of pain Willow would wish on anyone.


Well, there were some people, First Evil for instance, but there's no real way of doing that.


Gwen would definitely be taking vengeance for something or other, and the results could be a whole load of dead people. And one day, Willow could be called upon to kill her.


What the fuck was she thinking? Getting into a relationship with a vengeance demon?




"Barry Yohansen, age fifteen, missing, wanted in connection with the murder of his parents, found deceased in his home with puncture marks to their necks. This was in Washington, that makes finding the guy in Lawndale even more difficult than it was before," said Tiffany.


"Interests were football, baseball, hockey, ice hockey, American football, business studies, bland much? Who'd sire this guy?"


"Interest in sports ought to explain why he sired Kevin, but something's at odds here, why wasn't he talking sports when he was making conjugal visits?"


"What did he talk about?"


"The artistic aspects of my situation, I just took it for normal vampire crap."


"Did he know you were a potential slayer?"




"You were just another victim to him, that could be our angle."




"That's my sire," said Jane as she looked at the print out.


"He tell you anything useful?" asked Tiffany.


"Not offhand, but I know his scent, I should be able to find him for you, draw him out," said Jane.


Tiffany had explained to Jane what this guy had done before showing her the printout. Jane had stopped being mad over being turned, but now she was really mad with this asshole for what he had done to Tiffany.


"He's turned Kevin too, so-" said Tiffany.


"WHAT?" asked Jane.


Tiffany was about to continue when Jane suddenly smiled uncontrollably.


She was then laughing her ass off.


Spike and Tiffany stared in disbelief, Tiffany eventually said "She has a point."




Daria entered Donald's office and said "Zombies are on schedule, should be able to deploy them soon."


"Okay, what do you propose we do when we find the bases?"


"Frankly, nuke 'em. It'll be underwater and next to most undersea geological activity, this'll be an earwig's fart. Couple of Minutman's ought to do it, but the Skybolt's been sufficiently developed since I last heard, I'd go with that instead, less likely to be seen by the public," said Daria.


"Official use of nukes requires presidential authority, but if no one sees us doing it, that shouldn't be a problem. And we have developed the Skybolt further, Fred's nukes have allowed us to pack in a lot more firepower and improved the impact tolerances of the weapons. I'll talk to the president about it."


"Okay, thanks ... I'd also like to apologise for the attitude I've been giving you in the past, you didn't deserve that, and I'll do better from now on."


Daria then left.




"See this asshole?" asked Spike.


"No, but he's changed tactics, hasn't he?" said Jane.


"What do you reckon?" asked Spike.


"Walk and sniff," said Jane, as she headed out of the Zon.




"Dr Smith, how did it go?" asked the duty nurse for the wing.


Gwen shrugged and said "still not having a lot of luck, Cathy's still in a world of her own," 'and having trouble wishing that vengeance she so sorely desires.'


"She's a strange one all right, can you believe she passed for a cop for two years? Here's me basking in confidence," commented the nurse.


Gwen's amusement at how she was successfully passing as a doctor while the head nurse was calling the cops stupid for being fooled by Cathy could easily be mistaken for amusement at how stupid the cops were, and so she went with it.


"Might have better luck tomorrow, goodnight," she said as she headed out.


She wondered what Willow would make of her efforts to coax vengeance wishes from the seriously disturbed like this.




"Thank god that's over, why do I keep getting paired with Reg?" asked Amber as she and Honey headed out from the station.


"Because-" started Honey.


"-Gina Gold's a sadistic cow cunt? Sounds right," interrupted Amber, leaving Honey looking a bit annoyed. "So, what do you want to do now?"


"Find something to hit?" suggested Honey.


"What, more work? Fuck that, let's find some blokes and get drunk with them."


"And wake up in stringent bondage with no memory of how we got there, followed by a couple of days of torture and get found dead, floating in the Thames," said Honey.


"You're such a sourpuss lately Honey, what's gotten into you?" asked Amanda.


Honey opened her mouth to respond, but decided against it. Amber may be a twat, but Honey just couldn't bring herself to have a go at her. That's what sergeants and inspectors were for, and look what that yielded. She eventually said "nothing, let's get drunk."


They got halfway to their chosen pub before they heard two people run up behind them. Two boys, late teens, wearing hoodies (one blue, one grey) and jeans, one said "where you ladies headed?"


"Somewhere you're not, I mean, really," said Amber.


"Easy Amber. We're headed to the Canley arms," said Honey.


"Honey, get a clue, they're total babies," said Amber.


"You saying we're not man enough for you?" asked one.


"Now you've picked that up, fuck off," said Amber.


"Well, we'll just have to see if we're demon enough for you then," said the first one.


They then morphed their faces somehow into this armoured, ugly ass face with yellow irises and extended canine teeth, and grabbed at Honey and Amber.


Honey deflected the arms of her attacker, kneeing it under the sternum and nutting him, then punching him in the chin with her palm, before glancing at Amber, who was not doing as well (standing there screaming while the ... whatever it was leaned in to her neck.)


Honey kicked it in the back of it's knee and used an elbow strike to the back of its head, this allowed Amber to escape it's grip.


Amber, wearing high heels, tripped as she moved back and fell on her ass.


Honey had to return her attention to the first one again, as he was now on his feet again. She gave the other one a kick as she moved away from Amber, hoping to keep their attention away from her.


She beckoned the second one to attack her, hoping he would stay on her and leave Amber.


The first one ran at her trying to get a punch in, only for Honey to kick one of his knees sideways and get a palm strike on the side of his head. She was reluctant to use such moves as they could easily kill someone, but she was certain she and Amber would die if these things weren't neutralized.


The first one went down, but the second one got in, wrapping it's arms around Honey's waist and tipping her backwards. Honey jumped with the force, flipping over completely, causing the creature to lose it's grip on her. She then punched him in the face with one palm, kneed him below the sternum, third palm strike was followed her knee, other knee struck his ribs. She then used a palm strike to the side of the base of his skull, this sent him down.


She held her position, watching the creatures.


Amber just sat there like a tramp.


"Amber?" asked Honey.


Amber looked up at her.


"Call Dispatch."


" ... Right," said Amber, as she fished out her phone from her pocket.


But the creatures got back up, one saying "No, that's cheating," as he moved to Amber.


Honey grabbed his head, using his eyes to pull him backwards. The other one came at her again, she moved to use her palm to punch him in the face, but he deflected the punch, trapping her arm. She used her knee in his ribs and nutted him, the other one was on his feet again. Honey used an elbow strike in his face, then under his sternum, then she skipped up to the other one spoofing another punch before kicking him in the face. She succeeded in drawing them both off of Amber, who was struggling to dial the emergency number.


"Yo, this a private party or can anyone join?" asked an obviously American voice.


Honey glanced over to two girls, an IC1 in her mid twenties and an IC3 in her late teens were running up to them.


Honey was about a hair away from using a profanity now, "GET OUT OF HERE!"


"No, they can stay," said one of the creatures as he approached the two new girls.


Honey went for him, the other went for Honey. Honey responded immediately by deflecting one of the creature's arms and crushing it's trachea with a fingertip strike. She was about to go after the other when the other turned to dust.


Honey was stunned for a few seconds, the IC3 girl was holding a wooden stake.


The IC1 girl had moved in on the remaining creature, Honey watched as she drove her own stake through the creature's heart.


It too turned to dust.


The two girls twirled their stakes and put them in the waist bands of their trousers.


After a few seconds, the IC3 girl asked "You two okay?"


"Uh, yeah," answered Honey, she then asked "Amber?"


Amber was still lying on the floor, hyperventilating.


Honey then looked back at the girls and said "We're fine, can I have your names please?"


The two new girls looked at each other.


"This is the scene of an incident you know," said Honey.


"No it isn't," said the IC3 before she started to walk away.


"We were never here," said her friend, joining her.


"Best get your friend home."


"Sorry, but we can't," said Honey as she produced her warrant card, she then said "I'm PC Harman, this is PC Johannsen, we're going to need your names."


The IC3 indicated herself saying "Rona Whedon," and her friend saying "Vicky Head."


Honey instantly remembered the names and said "Right, never mind," before helping Amber to her feet.


"What do you mean Never Mind? Surely we should be asking more questions," she then asked Rona "what are you doing out at this time of night carrying offensive weapons with you?"


"Amber, their names have come up before, remember?"


Amber tried to remember.


Rona said to Vicky at this point "I give you, the thin blue line."


Honey just said "Right, thanks for helping us out there, I'll just get the nick embarrassment home now."




Jane suddenly caught a whiff at her ten o'clock position, it was coming from an open space at the end of a row of houses dotted with trees and backed by a forest.


She stopped and looked around.


She started her approach to the source.


As she approached, she noticed another smell creeping into the mix.


This smell was highly familiar to her because her house still hummed with it since Daria had lived there making her weapons: RDX.


"Oh-kayyyyyyy," she said as she turned around looking for an OP.


Spike, Faith and Tiffany were spread out in a line heading off from whence she had come. But if this guy was using his scent to lure her into a trap, he had to be upwind of that.


He would be beyond the killing zone.


Jane signaled for Spike and Tiffany to converge on her location.


When they got to her Spike said "What's up?"


"I smell Barry."




"And RDX. Here's what I propose, Spike, you and I split and converge beyond where I think the killing zone is. Tiffany and Faith should split up and go that way," Jane indicated two directions going the other way, "Faith and I will then converge on her after we're out of line of sight. Spike, you'll actually get to the area over there. If you see him or his probable location, continue on and call me when you leave line of sight, then we'll all converge on him, got that?"


Everyone nodded and headed off in their various directions.




Spike emerged on the other side of the forest into a clearing extending twenty metres from the back garden fences of a row of houses and looked around.


Barry knew Tiffany had Jane, why else would he bait the killing zone with his scent?


He might not have known that Jane knows what RDX smells like, although if he had been near her house, he could smell it every time he was there.


That wasn't the proper trap.


Did he also know Spike was with Jane?


If he did, he might have been a bad choice to send up here.


Slayers can sense vampires, but this is due to a mystical field and the sensitivity is highly limited, you don't get a significant spike beyond 7-10 metres.


Those houses would not make suitable observation points, the guy had to be in the forest somewhere.


He could be in an elevated position, that meant he could be anywhere with respect to the killing zone. If he  was high enough, his scent would not be pulled down by turbulence as much as it would be on the ground, that begged the question: What was his precise objective? He wanted Tiffany, but Spike doubted he wanted her dead. He probably knew Tiffany was a slayer, having been in a fight with her, so he could inflict greater injury on her than a normal person to capture her.


That meant the device or devices best suited for the trap would be fragmentation or sedative, sedatives could end up higher in the air though, but since vampires don't need oxygen, he could just wrap himself in plastic.


Frag would require line of sight throughout the killing zone, multiple devices could cover the area sufficiently, projectiles could be anything from 10mm gravel to floor nails.


Spike decided to call Daria.


Eventually Daria answered saying "Spike, what's up?"


"Yeah, I'd like your opinion on something. I'm chasing a vampire who set up explosives with the intention of incapacitating a vampire slayer, I was wondering if you had an opinion on how this guy might use the explosives?"


"Do you know if the vampire is using proper detonators?"


"What's the other option?"


"The other option is to have the explosives cook off, that is, heat them until they spontaneously detonate, but that method offers less control, if this guy has electric detonators and det chord, there are more options."


"What's in det chord?"


"Usually trinitrotoluene or Pentaerythritol tetranitrate."


"Ah, I know what TNT smells like, I've never even heard of ... penta fairy Tetley nitrate, the killing zone appears to be in the middle of a forest."


"If I were this guy, I'd probably set up sedative warheads on bursting charges, that would fill the air and probably be on you before you figure out what you saw. But there are problems, you need to have the expertise of an anesthetist. If you just want them unable to walk and don't care that your targets are wounded, an alternative would be to set up fragmentation devices everywhere. The velocity of most high explosives is high enough that you can point the shrapnel wherever you want it to go and be reasonably certain it'll go where expected. If you can score any explosives, you can usually score enough to create a sizable killing zone, the limiting factor's the number of detonators you have."


"And the shrapnel?" asked Spike.


"Probably whatever's to hand, gravel's the cheapest, but the best easily available shrapnel would be wire nails, you can make walls of them around the charge, and have around three and a half times the density of gravel, maybe add an anticoagulant such as commercial rat poison to enhance blood loss, depends on how much thought he'll put into it," said Daria.


"Okay, thanks a lot," said Spike.


"No problem."




Tiffany was walking along her route, wondering how long it was going to take for one of them to find Barry.


It was extremely embarrassing to be facing this guy after she had been made to blow him, he wasn't a major feature of her nightmares or flashbacks, he was just an opportunistic twat.


That didn't stop him being a threat in the here and now, and it's not like these guys have anything better to do. Often vampires when sired leave normal society, becoming vagrants, squatting wherever, attacking people for fun.


That's not always the case of course, lots of vampires also live fairly normal lives, working normal jobs. It seemed to depend on the circumstances of the vampire as it is sired.


Something bounced off her right hip.


No it didn't, it punched through.


Stupid delayed sen- "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Tiffany collapsed as she felt the area around the arrow stuck in her hip felt like it was catching fire.


She removed the arrow and noticed the smell of burning flesh wafting up.


This was followed by a puff of flame out of the wound.


She patted out the flame, and noticed the physical heat coming off the wound was ridiculously intense.


She looked up as she heard someone land on the floor and saw Barry straighten up and approach her, laughing, as he pointed his crossbow at her. The loaded arrow had a glass capsule on the side.


"That's sodium. Don't worry, it won't enter the bloodstream, it's searing the flesh around it. But that caustic soda will need to be dug out soon, or it will corrode through," he said.


Tiffany was about to reach for a stake she had concealed in the back of her trousers, but decided against it for now. She said "Okay, you got me, now what?"


"Now, Tiffany, you're going to amuse me, but not before my buddies bring us the body of your slayer friend and ... well, I guess it's difficult to bring something to prove the death of a vampire. But once we're all assembled here, you're going to strip off for us, and fuck each of us, or you get to experience death by caustic soda poisoning."


Tiffany fumed as she reassessed her options.


Option one: Attack the guy hoping he'll miss. He probably won't at this range, but he wouldn't have to shoot as she would be unable to fight with that hole burned in her leg anyway. He'd probably just beat the crap out of her and stick to the original plan.


Option two: Arouse and fuck a bunch of vampires, and become their slave for however long it takes for them to get bored of her.


The rage and nausea flared inside her as she remembered how that was like the first time, no way did she want a repeat of that.


That meant her only hope was that Faith, Spike and Jane could avoid Barry's friends, whoever they were.


"How did you get out the first time anyway?"


Tiffany wasn't going to answer that, she might need to do the same thing again.


"Asked you a question, slut."


Tiffany wondered if there was any safe way to misdirect this asshole, then eventually said "I had help."


"Really? Who helped you? I got the impression you were alone."


Tiffany didn't answer.


"Looking forward to some more red hot steaming sexy action?" he asked.


Tiffany still didn't respond.


"Talk to me, slut."


"About what? Eh? What the fuck, would I want to talk to you about?"


"Do I care what you want?"


"Back at ya," said Tiffany.


"You will care what I want, just like you used to, eh? Remember that? Which hole did you like me fucking the most? I know I liked using your asshole, and your mouth wasn't bad either," he said, recalling how he had her lick her shit off his penis.


"You're going to die."


"Oh am I now? How you going to do that?"


"It's a surprise," said Tiffany.


"What you mean is you have no way of killing me and don't want to expose this fact."


"If you like to think that, sure."


"What about Kevin, your school's quarterback? You must have fantasized about him a lot."


"I'd sooner turn gay, and that's when he was alive," said Tiffany.


Barry chuckled and said "I'll tell him you said that, and let him soften you up," just before his phone rang.


He pulled it and answered it, "Hello?"


"Hi, I'm from the Schwartz herbs and spices company, I'm conducting a survey, do you use our brand of garlic powder?"


"No, fuck off, I'm expecting a call," said Barry as he hung up.


"Hmm, telemarketers, huh?"


"Yeah, I might have subscribed to Asian Torment if I had given up on finding you again," said Barry.


"Call that a taunt? Come on, man, step it up a little."


"Alright, this time, your captivity will be filthier than ever, gonna slap you silly, torture you out of your mind, turn you into the worst emotional wreck ever made. And now you're an active slayer, the number of things we can do to you have expanded. You thought it was bad before, imagine being ass fucked while you're lying there with no intact bones? Imagine getting your fractured ribs moved around while everyone's cumming on your face?"


"Weak," said Tiffany.


"No, you're just trying to get me to spare you with a quick and clean mercy killing, well, that's not going to happen."


There was suddenly a noise off to Barry's left, he brought his crossbow to bear on the source of the noise.


Then there were a series of gunshots from behind Tiffany that struck Barry in the elbows.


Barry dropped the crossbow as he cried out in pain.


"Made you look," Jane said.


"You alright Tiffany?" asked Faith as she emerged from behind, aiming a Jatimatic at Barry.


"Yeah, apart from an arrow wound that got contaminated with SODIUM!" said Tiffany as she stood up and approached Barry.


Barry stepped back, unable to use his hands to pick up the crossbow.


"He looks a little strong kneed to me," said Tiffany.


Faith kneecapped the vampire.


Tiffany then pulled a can of lighter fluid out of her pocket saying "I apparently don't have the time to come up with a really elaborate punishment," she picked up the crossbow with the other hand, and flipped open the nozzle of the can as she continued "so I'm just going to set you on fire and laugh at you as you burn."


"No, Tiffany, we can discuss this, you don't have to do this."


"Okay, if you can prove to me you've learned your lesson and promise not to come after me again, I'll let you go?"


Barry looked hopeful.


"Nah, I'm just fucking with you," said Tiffany as she started squirting lighter fluid all over Barry.


"Aww come on, I'll be good from now on."


"Sure you will," said Tiffany, halfway through the can.


No one said anything else as Barry tried to figure out a way to argue his way out of this.


Eventually the can was exhausted, Tiffany threw the can into Barry and she looked at the crossbow.


"RX 150, nice weapon there. Draw strength's a little low for us, but I think I'll keep it," she said as she aimed it at Barry's neck and fired.


Barry started to cry.


"Oh look, crocodile tears," said Tiffany, as she laughed a little.


Tiffany checked her watch.


Barry's flesh around the wound sizzled and eventually there was a puff of flame, this then spread all over Barry.


"SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!" Tiffany sang, making a show of her mirth as Barry burned.


He then turned to dust.


"Better?" asked Faith.


"Much ... let's go find a hospital, Barry's goons give you much trouble?" asked Tiffany as she slung the crossbow.


"Never encountered them," said Jane, "Got a call from Robodaria though."




Daria thought about the phonecall she had just received from Spike.


She then decided to call Robodaria, see if she could help.




"Standby," said Robodaria as she accessed the CIA and NSA satellite constellations, the local cell phone networks.


She quickly identified a number of phones that were being carried around by vampires, these were close enough to Spike, Jane, Faith and Tiffany's numbers to be considered bandits. One was right next to Tiffany, the 10mm radar indicated he was pointing a crossbow at Tiffany, she concluded this guy was their leader.


So she called that one first in order to sample his voice.


"Hi, I'm from the Schwartz herbs and spices company, I'm conducting a survey, do you use our brand of garlic powder?"


"No, fuck off, I'm expecting a call."


As soon as he had hung up, Robodaria called the other X-rays.


"Yo!" "Hello?" "Jeffy here." "Jamie here."


The nice thing about having a number of central processors in the gigahertz range was she could hold up to 2000 conversations at once.


"Tiffany got away, go north 2000 metres and set up an ambush, now."


"No problemo." "On it." "Okay." "Roger, going north."


She watched them via the reconnaissance satellites as she then made contact with Jane, Faith and Spike.


"Spike, the others will need transport soon, get the explorer to the end of Bletchley road."




"Jane, Tiffany's been captured, I have control, head east and standby to make a noise."




"Faith, Tiffany's been captured, I have control, head north, Jane will divert the X-Ray, we'll then need you to incapacitate him." "Have that."


Robodaria then directed them up to their FAPs, telling them when to slow down.


"I have sight of the X-ray now, he has a crossbow pointed at Tiffany, I can't tell if Tiffany's restrained," said Faith.


"Have that, she doesn't appear to be, but there's a lot of heat pouring out of a wound in her leg, she may have been injured, you will attack when he looks away," said Robodaria. "Acknowledged, out," said Faith as she hung up.


"Jane, are you ready to make a noise?" asked Robodaria.


"Yeah, I'll break a few sticks, not very imaginative, but it should do you."


"Okay, standby ... ... and Go."




"That's going to leave quite a scar," said the doctor.


"Hmm, might be cool to freak out the other beachgoers," commented Tiffany as the doctor set up the equipment. "What's the treatment doc?"


"Remove the visible crystals by suction and prodding, then rinse out the wound with water, then use maggots to remove the cooked flesh, removal of the sodium hydroxide should take about two hours tops, maggots will need a couple of days to remove the cooked flesh, it would be a good idea to keep you in during your treatment, once the way is cleared, I'll be stitching across the void to try to cause the flesh to heal across, if it works, the void should close and you should be able to rebuild the muscle mass, that'll leave the crater in the skin, a little silicone should cover that up, but if you put on or lose weight, then the silicone will not expand or contract with it, so might be best to leave that."


"Okay, best get started then," said Tiffany.




Buffy and Aiden entered Geoff's office. "You wanted the results of the investigation?"




"Okay, we've turned up some interesting facts," said Buffy. "First off, Sudan, you must have heard what's happening there with the Janjaweed militias going around acting like SchutzStaffel death squads - those are the Sudanese being attacked by slayers. Zimbabwe it's Mugabe's goons. It looks like legitimate bad guys are being targeted, and they're still going after supernatural threats too, but seeing this happening right in front of them ... " said Buffy.


"I see," said Geoff, "you do realize this will undermine any diplomatic efforts? We're going to look like a bunch of megalomaniacs, tell me you're taking measures to stop this happening."


Buffy was stunned into silence.


"Miss Summers, what are you doing to reel in these rogue agents?"


"Okay, you did hear that bit about the targets being bad guys, that is, death squads, marauding freelance gangsters going around torturing people? We're the good guys, letting the bad guys have their way is so counter intuitive, it's like accepting the world view that the earth is this disc on the back of a giant turtle," said Buffy.


"Irrelevant, you're breeching international law," said Geoff.


"Says a proponent of Operation Iraqi Freedom," said Buffy, now getting really angry.




"I'm sorry, depraved indifference is off the menu-" started Buffy.


"Understood," said Aiden as he grabbed Buffy's wrist and the back of her neck, turning her towards the door, saying "Not our fight," and marching her out before she could even respond, Buffy asking him to let her go.


As soon as he was sure they were far enough away to discuss this quietly, he released Buffy and got clear before Buffy could smack him across the face.




"I don't, I agree with you something should be done about the death squads," said Aiden.


"Then ..." Buffy found herself calming as she realized Aiden was thinking up a solution, "I suppose you have a suggestion."


"Yes. But if you want forces in Africa to help the helpless with, they are going to have to become invisible for a while. Your slayers hand to hand skills are excellent, but you can't be sure how they will perform in a guerilla war, and you may have to distance yourself from them in order to support operations everywhere else, they will need to become completely self sufficient within the borders of hostile territory."


"What are we talking here? Plausible deniability?"


"Exactly, the same techniques Whitehall use to break international law can also be used to break orders. This will be far from easy, but I'll talk to the instructors at Hereford about taking an African holiday to go out and help your people with their efforts."


Buffy eventually nodded, and said "Okay, but if you like being able to walk, never man handle me like that again."


"Fair enough," said Aiden.




"Robodaria, we're at the last known location, and there is no sign of them," said Spike.


Jane was walking up the road where the footprints had stopped, but the mud wasn't that damp and had run out very quickly.


She was now guessing the course, but she noticed a bus stop.


"Spike, where does the fifty two go?"


Robodaria had heard Jane and told Spike "Standby ... got it's transponder locked, it's off it's route."




Spike and Jane arrived to investigate the abandoned bus.


It wasn't abandoned... the bus was filled with corpses.


"Whoa - 'vamp kegger'... yeah, they've all been drained of blood," Jane said, letting the limp head of a dead elderly woman slump back down upon her chest. "How many of them do you think they turned?"


"Dunno," Spike said, before he noticed something. Stepping off the bus, he walked off to the side of the road, and noticed a trio of footprints headed away from the scene... one of those sets left a bloody footprint with each left step.


He walked back over, and hopped back onto the bus. "But I got us a lead."


"Sweet," said Jane, drawing a grenade from the frumpy bag she carried. "Time to nip tomorrow's troubles in the bud." 


"What's that - incendiary grenade?"


"Thermite. With a burster," said Jane.


"You and Daria. The pair of you are fuckin' mental," said Spike, grinning.


Jane smiled as she tossed the grenade to Spike, and then selected another for herself. They exited the bus and following Jane's lead, Spike pulled the pin on his grenade and threw his through a window, the grenades ending up a quarter from each end of the bus.


Two bright flashes silhouetted Jane and Spike as they walked away from the portable abattoir; the thermite grenades detonated within a heartbeat of one another, flinging droplets of white-hot molten iron throughout the bus's interior and consuming the corpses inside in a mushrooming cloud of absolute heat.




"Aww, come on," said Jane as she was unable to find any more blood scent to follow.


"What's around here?" asked Spike.


"Not Kevin's place, he lives miles from here, we're nowhere near Tiffany's, or Daria's ... " Jane picked up the phone and dialed Robodaria. "We need the address of Michael Jordan Mackenzie, and then we need directions from our location."




Jane and Spike arrived on site.


Jane knocked on the door.


Eventually Mrs. Mackenzie answered and asked "Yeah?"


"Have Kevin and three other boys passed through here?" asked Jane as she indicated the inside of the house, simultaneously checking that everyone was alive, she found the field was still up, but she wasn't sure if Mack would still be causing it from afar.


"Yes, they're with my husband out back."


"Mind if we come in?"


"No, come on in," said Mrs. Mackenzie.


Jane and Spike entered and continued through until they reached a window with a view to the back yard.


Where Kevin, Joey, Jeffy and Jamie were throwing a rugby ball between them and Mr. Mackenzie.


Jane and Spike were stunned by the situation, was Mr. Mackenzie also a vampire? Had these guys had enough time for that to have happened? Jane got a little mirror out and checked, but Mr. Mackenzie had a reflection, which looked a touch strange throwing the ball around without anyone around to throw it to.


"Mrs. Mackenzie, are you aware that the four boys playing with your husband are vampires?"




"The Mackenzie parents are surprisingly strong, by the time we got out into the street, Kevin and the stalkers of Quinn were long gone," said Jane.


Daria nodded. "They're about as bright as a black hole without anything to eat. You'll get them."


"Yeah, Daria, are you certain about sending Tiffany off on this mission?" asked Jane.


"Absolutely. It'll be good for her, and it's time I started laying down the law. I am her commander, after all," said Daria.


"Right, and I suppose you wouldn't have lost it like she did?"


"That's correct, there are perfectly easy ways to disrupt evil plans of this nature without making a twat of yourself. I've argued my way out of some real shit pies in my time."


"Okay," said Jane, "just be careful with Tiffany. She feels guilty, but if you overextend your credit, she'll react. I know she's caused problems, but be careful."


Daria was silent for a moment of contemplation. "Okay."




"We are here today to bid farewell to Sandi Griffin, a young woman who died well before her time, by a disturbed maniac who wasn't even interested in her primarily. She did not harm anyone, she had not set out to cause pain or suffering, and she will be missed by all who knew her," said the cleric.


Nobody said anything.


There was no doubt about who was to blame for Sandi's death: Kirsty Kramer.


Tiffany hated the fact that thoughts of Kirsty kept intruding in on her thoughts when this moment was SUPPOSED to be about Sandi, the dead girl in the maroon box with blue trim resting on two woven polypropylene straps above a hole in the ground.


But Kirsty WAS the reason Sandi was dead. She didn't do it by herself, and in fact, Tiffany had seen the video, so her last image of Sandi was of her on her knees with Kirsty's hand in her mouth shoving the corrosive material down her throat with the express intention of causing her to die painfully on camera.


To make Tiffany obsess over how much she hated Kirsty.


And it was working.




There was also the point that Tiffany had introduced the threat when she had encountered that Klan cell when she had run off that night.


There's no way she could have predicted that would happen, so why was that still an issue for her?


Because humans have this blame culture going on, where you HAVE to blame someone.


So why couldn't she blame the Klan and leave it at that?


Because they've been around for ages and it was Tiffany that had struck the hornet's nest?


Except she couldn't have know- 'Oh for fuck's sake, give it a fucking rest brain, or I'll nut the first tombstone I walk past ... I will, I'll fucking do it ... ... '


Tiffany sighed and realized the cleric had reached then end of his sermon and hit the button, and Sandi's coffin started its descent.




"Weren't you going to read a eulogy?" asked Quinn as they waited for their drinks at the bar where the wake was being held.


"Was, but I couldn't start it," said Tiffany.


"How come?"


Tiffany sighed as she picked up her drink, a pint of whiskey, and after taking a long sip, she said "I felt I owed it to Sandi not to allow her funeral to become a rant about Kirsty, and how Sandi died was about the only thing I could think about, so it seemed best not to write one at all under those circumstances."


"Maybe her funeral should have been delayed," said Quinn as she picked up her pint of whiskey.


"Morgue's gotta move bodies, plus I'm doing that deep cover assignment starting tomorrow, probably best she got buried before she started growing mushrooms," said Tiffany.


"This sucks," said Quinn as she gulped down a couple of mouthfuls of whiskey.


After a sip, Tiffany said "You do realize that without Slayer powers, you're gonna be hammered in about five minutes if you keep up that rate?"


"Yeah? Watch as I vigorously fail to care," said Quinn as she gulped down another mouthful.


Tiffany shrugged and took another sip.


Then after about ten seconds of thought, she chugged the remainder of the glass, and returned it to the barkeep saying "same again."




Jake and Tom Griffin were looking through a photo album of Sandi's life.


"Most of her life was spent in conflict with Sam and Chris, Linda supported Sandi against me, and it was my responsibility to keep Sam and Chris under control, we needed to have a united front, but we ended up creating sides."


"Wasn't that different with Daria and Quinn, except Helen worked on both of them and I stayed neutral anytime things looked heated," said Jake, "All I know is that Sandi was a great help to Quinn, after Lawndale got blown up and their mothers died."


"Quinn's been good for Sandi too, although I daren't say that around Linda when she was alive, She and your Helen-"


"Tom and Jerry," said Jake.


"Itchy and Scratchy," said Tom.


"Itchy and Scratchy?" asked Jake.


"You'd have to watch The Simpsons," said Tom.






Jane and Spike ordered their drinks, "One pint of Jack/Daniels and one orange juice."


Jane looked annoyed for a second, then remembered she was pregnant and said "Right," patting her abdomen as she leaned against the bar.


"Sorry about that," said Spike, "had I known about Conner, I wouldn't have gone bareback inside you."


"I know, I just wish I could get drunk, I mean, everyone else can get bladdered."


"Yeah, but you can't make it a clean kill, you need to look after the kid," said Spike.


"If it gets beyond a certain point, I don't think I'll be able to face terminating it. I mean, an embryo, sure, early stage foetus, but the more it looks like a person, you know?"


"Yeah, of course you know my position on abortion in general, but it's your soul."


"You mean it's my body," said Jane.


Spike didn't answer.




"I find this gathering tiresome," said Illyria.


"Yeah, I imagine you do, but this helps those who knew Sandi," said Daria.


"I didn't."


"No, but Stacy did, anything from your shells memories got anything complimentary about Sandi?" asked Daria.


Illyria thought, and said "Sandi was a skilled manipulator."


Daria thought about this and eventually said "Perhaps you should think less Klingon and more ... ... ... Talk to Quinn," said Daria as she went off in search of Jane.




"You'd think wasting some of the cone heads would do something for us," commented Jane.


Spike didn't respond.


Jane glanced over to Spike.


"But I guess it's vengeance that got us into this in the first place," said Jane.


Still no response.


"Did I mention that I've been slipping you roofies and videotaping you while Wesley had hot passionate sex with your unconscious body?"


Still nothing.


"Oh-kayyyyy," said Jane.




"You are heavily intoxicated," observed Illyria.


Quinn giggled and said "Yeah? What are you, my mom? No, you're just some demon who replaced my friend, you know?"


"I noticed you didn't grieve as much for Stacy Rowe," said Illyria.


"Yeah, it was probably the weirdness of you pretending to be her for so long and the lack of familiarity with the supernatural that sort of, let me down gently, but that's pretty fucked, innit?" asked Quinn.


"I wasn't new to this, and even I got thrown by it," said Tiffany.


"Yeah, but what does that make us, huh?"


"Hypocrites," said Illyria.


"Yeah, and what about you Illyria, didn't you used to be evil?"


"I used to be in charge. In my day, calling me evil would have resulted in your death," said Illyria.


"You starting then?" asked Quinn.


"Fuck's sake," commented Tiffany as she took another sip.


"You intend to fight me?" asked Illyria.


"You chicken?"


"What do you intend to do? Regurgitate on me?"


Quinn threw a punch.


Then another.


Then another.


Ignoring the punches Quinn was throwing, Illyria turned to Tiffany and asked "When you had Kirsty, you could have killed her yourself."


"Yeah, would have, except I decided it would be better to give her ... Plus our bosses wouldn't have been able to cover up my involvement, Kirsty was defenceless, no longer a threat, once you take the threat prisoner, the rules change."


"But your judicial system has capitol punishment, would you not have been within your rights to have killed her?"


"Yeah, well, department of justice tends to throw a tantrum if they can't get a piece of the action. Also, extrajudicial executions on coast to coast telly can scare the punters and make things difficult for our bosses, which means myself, plus others on our team, could get done for it," said Tiffany.


"Your so called democracy is ineffective anyway. The only viable candidates are the ones with the money to afford the airtime to advertise at up coming elections, the only people who really get to choose who becomes your leaders are those with the money to support them. The two biggest competing brands from whatever industries exist will back a candidate they know will do their bidding."


"Hmm," commented Tiffany.


"This amuses you?"


"Can't say they made a very good choice with this twat, longer we go with him in charge, the less seriously the world takes this country as any kind of leader."


"Bush isn't the problem, he's a puppet, but not of industry."




"Your Secretary Of Defence, Donald, he's the person your president looks to for advice, his emotions are consistent with those of a megalomaniac who cares about keeping us under control but seems to be perfectly fine with us losing to a certain extent. He manipulates the situation so we're just the right amount of losing without it becoming a major defeat."


"There are a whole load of conspiracy theories floating around about 9/11."


"I managed to ask just the right question about that day, and he broadcast a smug glee in response, he considers the day an unparalleled success."


"Hmm ... "


Illyria caught Quinn's wrists between the outer pairs of fingers of one hand, effectively restraining Quinn as she asked "You are considering what else he might be up to?"


Quinn struggled against the apparently iron grip Illyria had on her wrists.


"Notice how that demon invasion in LA got discounted as a slight glitch whenever we talk to Donald?"


"Of course I have," said Illyria, "We're in the same position now as we were when Angel Investigations was in charge of their Los Angeles branch. Only now Wolfram and Hart may have developed a counterstrategy against us, the next fight will be much harder."


"I got to wonder, the Wolf, Ram and Hart at the centre of all of this, what do you know of them?"


"They are essentially psychic parasites that feed off of evil impulses of humans. In my time there weren't enough humans around for them to get much out of them, but since us old ones were kicked off the face of the earth, and humans took over, their strength has grown considerably."


"What about Pylea? They have a presence there, and almost no humans with any power to be evil with."


"Not yet, they wish to expand into Pylea."


"Ah, right, so their presence would come long after humans overthrow the demons and start doing their very own evil," said Tiffany.


"Ughhh, they're like some sort of parasite," said Quinn.


"I mentioned this earlier," said Illyria.


"Hence them manipulating the situation so that they have the maximum of evil to feed off of," commented Tiffany, she then said "Are they vulnerable to anything?"


"They are immortal and invincible, the more evil energy they receive, the more they can do," said Illyria.


"Well, that's me filled with optimism," said Tiffany.


"They can still be defeated, if those who do evil are afraid to act, their power will diminish steadily."


"So the best we can hope for is to keep their power below a certain threshold?" asked Tiffany.


"Not quite, if their influence can be reduced sufficiently and all their support eliminated, they can be bound to objects that can then be contained in a magical shield such as ferrite."


"And that can then be resistance welded closed and placed somewhere safe for eternal storage," said Tiffany.


"Correct," said Illyria, "but such a location must not be accessible to anyone, and as far as I know, there is no such place that the container would survive."


"Winifred's a physicist, she might have some ideas," said Tiffany.




Jane was getting increasingly annoyed with the silent treatment Spike was still giving her.


"Okay, Spike, seriously, what the FUCK is your problem?"




"Okay, let's ban abortion, at least that'll curb illegal immigration, because everyone will be trying to sneak into CANADA!"


"Oh, so this is about money is it?"




















"THAT YOU'RE HAVING AT THREE THOUSAND DECIBELS!" Shouted Quinn, who was still struggling against Illyria.


"GET FUCKED!" shouted Spike.


"HEY!" shouted Jake as he approached Spike, "NO ONE TELLS MY DAUGHTER TO GET FUCKED."


"YEAH? COME ON THEN," said Spike as he approached Jake back.


Illyria released Quinn and she waded into the contact.


Jake threw a punch, but Spike interrupted and struck Jake with his palm.


Jake staggered back and Quinn kicked Spike in the ribs.


Spike smacked Quinn across the left temple with the back of his fist.


"HEY! WATCH IT!" Shouted Tiffany.


"What you gonna do about it?" asked Spike.


Tiffany put her drink down on the bar and walked over Spike and spoofed a punch before kicking Spike under the sternum sending him flying.


"Right, you're going down," said Spike as he stomped back over to Tiffany and they started really going at it.


Quinn got up and almost fell over, Jane caught her, and she freaked out, "GET OFF ME!"


"Easy Quinn," said Jane as Quinn started hitting her.




Jane held her hands clear as Quinn continued her attack.


She then noticed Quinn was sweating a certain kind of pheromone.


"Ooooooh fuck," she commented.


Jake approached and asked "What's wrong Quinn?"


He reached to grab Quinn but Jane grabbed his wrist first and looked into his eyes. He took the hint that he shouldn't touch her and stepped back.


Eventually Quinn fell exhausted to her knees and vomited on Jane's feet.


Jane signaled Jake to continue to hold as she watched Quinn, who remained on her knees for some time.


Jane then crouched in front of Quinn and said "in case you're in any doubt there, you're safe."


"I know, I just ... I thought the flashbacks had stopped ages ago."


"I think it's the getting absolutely shitfaced might have tripped you up there," commented Jane.


"Could be," admitted Quinn, "Sorry about the boots."


"Eh, it'll help me acclimatize to certain aspects of motherhood," said Jane.


Eventually Quinn said "I think I should go home now," as she stood up.


"Okay, I'll drive you," said Jane as she started to lead Quinn out.


"What about them two?" asked Jake indicating Tiffany and Spike who were still going at it.


"Do you want to get between those two?" asked Jane.


"God no," said Jake.


"Eh, they'll be fine. Unless Tiffany pulls a stake, in which case I'll make her wish she hadn't. I'll be back," said Jane as she led Quinn out the door.


Jane sat Quinn in the forward passenger seat of the car.


She caught the reflection just in time to react, she spun around deflecting the boy's stake and wrapping her arm around his. She managed to kick his far knee out and get him on the floor before he twisted around and kick the back of her head.


The impact was insufficient to do more than send her forwards, she went with it and flipped over onto her feet before he came at her again.


"Excuse me, I'm one of the good guys?"


"Without a reflection."


"I have a soul."


"You could be just saying that."


"Yeah, I could ... Where have I seen you before?"


"Me? ... I was on TV a couple of times with Jasmine and then when I went nuts and took a shop full of people hostage."


Jane snapped her fingers and said "Conner Reilly."



Part 4



"Okay, you want to drink this slowly or you'll puke again," said Jane as she handed Quinn a glass of water with a couple of aspirins dissolved in it.


Quinn mumbled "okay," as she accepted the glass and started to sip it.


Jane hadn't sat Quinn down because if she did, Quinn would probably fall asleep there, and Jane wanted to get her into bed first.


Turning to Conner, Jane asked "So you met Spike when you were brought to Wolfram and Hart by your parents?"


"Yeah, he and Angel were arguing a lot. It was funny."


"Angel was your dad, wasn't he?"


"Yeah, only recently found out."


"Yeah, seemed we were under some sort of memory spell, my mom lifted it."


"Yeah, so I gather, confused the shit out of me," said Conner, "two sets of memories, one growing up with the Reillys, the other growing up in an evil dimension with a vengeance seeking nut case who used me to exact vengeance against my dad. I decided to chain up my dad and drop him in the ocean, took Wesley three months to find him, then a whole bunch of other dumb shit happened. I ended up aligning myself with Jasmine, who was both my daughter and a demon entity from another dimension, but that didn't quite work out either, so now, here I am."


"Wow ... Heard your mom died giving birth."


"Had to stake herself because of a mystical shield or something that was stopping me coming out, and a cesarean wasn't going to happen either."


"Hmm," said Jane looking annoyed.


"I was told Darla didn't have a soul."


"Yeah, but I was hoping there was a way of getting around that mystical barrier without resorting to suicide," said Jane as she felt her uterus through her abdomen.


Conner thought about what she was doing and said "you're pregnant?"


"Yeah ... might not have happened if Spike had heard of you, thought that being vampires, we didn't need to use condoms."


"Where is Spike?"


"Still at the pub, left him in a fight with Tiffany."


"Tiffany, the girl that was in that death match with that conehead?"


"Yeah, she's a vampire slayer, so was the conehead apparently."


"Thought there were only supposed to be two, or one."


"Used to, but a witch with a mystical axe changed all that, now any girl that can be a slayer is a slayer, all the potential slayers got activated."


"Ah, right. ... And one potential was in the Ku Klux Klan?"


"Yeah, you'd think these powers would know the difference between good and evil."


"Faith didn't for a while."


"Yeah, I keep hearing about that."


"Well, being a vampire with a soul means you have, like, hundreds of years of evil to make up for."


"Not for me, my mom stuck my soul back in before I could do anything embarrassing ... ... Hmm."




"Something I need to talk to Spike about, soon as I get this one to bed I'm headed back to the pub."


"Finished," said Quinn.


"Okay," said Jane as she looked under a sink and found a plastic bucket, she grabbed that and helped Quinn up the stairs.


"I don't feel too good," said Quinn.


"That's alcohol poisoning for you," said Jane as she positioned Quinn on her side on the bed, she placed the basin next to her saying "If you're awake enough and find you're about to puke, do it in this, okay?"


"Okay," said Quinn.


"Right, I'll be off then."




Jane and Conner entered the pub where the fight was still ongoing. Lots of furniture had been broken, and everyone was just standing off to the side watching while calmly discussing their various concerns.


"SPIKE," called Jane.


"YEAH? ... Conner?" Spike's distracted state was suddenly taken advantage of by Tiffany who nutted him in the cheek. After stumbling sideways for a little bit he said "Oww. Tiffany, give me a minute would you?"


"You'll get second wind."


"No' you'll get second wind, I'll just stop hurting slightly," said Spike.


Tiffany nodded and backed off.


"What'ya doing here Conner?" asked Spike as he approached.


"Just got these memories back, and I remembered your face and voice off the news. Semester doesn't start for a while, so I came over."


"Right, so ... ... Your dad," realized Spike.


"Yeah, tried finding him, but I couldn't, so I came over here."


"Afraid he's dead, I mean, pile of dust dead not vampire dead."


"When did this happen?"


"That apocalypse we had a few months ago, Apparently Marcus killed him."


"Marcus," snarled Conner.


"He's dead too now."


"Pile of dust dead?"


"Vaporised dead."


"I was hoping he'd suffered."


"He fell onto the street out of the CEO's office, he may have realized that if he fell unconscious, my next shot would kill him," said Illyria as she approached.


"Fell out the ... quite a drop."


"Unfortunately people tried to help him as I took my next shot, I had to accept the collateral damage or delay killing him for another time," said Illyria.


"Right," said Conner, looking disturbed.


"This distresses you," said Illyria.


"Yes," said Conner.


"It angered the others when I returned with the news."


"What about you, did you have an issue with it?"


"No, we needed Marcus dead, and that demon army was going to kill a lot of people on the side anyway, and I have many times advised you people that to win a war-"


"-Serve no master but your ambition," interrupted Spike.


"It is true that you should try to minimize the body count to your primary targets, but occasionally you have to be prepared to accept the side effects."


"So, if you were to be taken hostage and the consequences of not going in was the destruction of an entire city, you'd be fine with us killing you to get to the bad guys, would you?"


"Of course not, and I don't maintain any delusions that those people that tried to help Marcus were fine with me killing them along with him. I simply ran out of more acceptable options."


"As simple as, huh?" asked Spike.


"As simple as," affirmed Illyria.


"We fighting or what?" asked Tiffany.


Spike held up a finger to signal 'wait' as he said "I suppose I'm the only one who has a problem then."


"Because you've spent hundreds of years doing unspeakable evil and are alarmed that those around you don't seem to realize just how lucky they are to have a shot at something you no longer have," said Jane.


Spike looked at her funny.


"We can discuss this when we get home tonight."


"Right," said Spike.


He then turned back to Tiffany and they re-engaged.




Jane and Spike eventually got home and they microwaved a couple of mugs of blood.


"Was I right?" asked Jane.


"Yes, you're right."


"I did have a scare just before the second bringer war kicked off, but it turned out it was just the First Evil fucking with me."


"Right ... Jane, I don't think you want to know what I got up to when I was evil."


"Think I'll hate you for it?"


"Well ... No, not really, it's just embarrassing."


"Like how Tiffany felt about what happened between her and Quinn?" asked Jane.




"I take it this 'evil' is 'Uday Hussein putting the frighteners on the people of Iraq' evil, not 'forgot to correctly fill out your tax return forms' evil?"


"And then some."


"But you're not going to pull that shit again, are you?"




"Then I don't think it's going to be a problem, I mean you're a different person altogether without a soul, right?"


"Yeah ... There are just problems with the reliability of a vampires soul is all."


"What kind of problems?"


"Angel occasionally lost his soul, this was down to a moment of perfect happiness usually, sometimes just from a euphoria inducing drug. That doesn't seem to be a problem for us, but if you were to ever lose your soul ... ... you're an artist, you do sculptures, that passion for your craft could translate into a load of extremely grizzly murders."


"I see. ... I threatened to inject Amy Madison with several millilitres of capsaicin recently, so I get what you mean. It's pretty scary actually."


The microwave completed the impulse and the vampires removed the mugs from it and started to drink their blood.


"I suppose if Conner found out I want to abort mine, he'd probably take it personally."


"That he would. ... Also, I'm it's father, so ... ... Never thought I'd have a chance to start a family."


"That the reason you've been so against me trying to abort?" asked Jane.


"No, it's something I just thought of. If it's going to kill you though, I'd rather have you around than it."


"Appreciated," acknowledged Jane.


"But the kid is a piece of both of us, now it exists, I ... I just can't ... ... I mean, it's your body, but it's my kid inside it," said Spike.


"Also appreciated," said Jane.


"There's also your soul. We're pretty much immune to most things humans aren't, but you could still be killed one day, and there's places I'd rather you not end up."


"Hmm ... Hard thought to get used to, Hell being real ... and in more flavours than Wine Gums."


"Had a taster when I encountered Matthias Pavayne while I was a ghost at Wolfram And Hart."


"How did that go?" asked Jane.


Spike tilted his head and said "Hmm ... torture, pain, general all around nastiness. ... Have you ever been tortured? Raped? Anything where you were held down and attacked in some way?"


Jane eventually said "No, I haven't ... Tiffany tried to stake me a couple of times, but what you're describing is something I can't imagine."


"And I don't want you to have to experience that, not for a second, especially not a fucking eternity."


Jane nodded and drank some more blood, Spike also took a sip of his.


"You said something earlier about it being harder to be willing to terminate your pregnancy the more developed the foetus was?" asked Spike.


"Yeah," said Jane.


"I have to admit I feel the same, if it were at the embryo stage, it would be less of a problem for me, but then it's still a human life we're taking."


"I've read up on pregnancy quite a bit since I found myself with child, it seems most people trying to get pregnant fail to do so because the woman is so stressed trying to get everything just right that her system is filled with stress hormones, and she self aborts without realizing it's even happening, then gets even more distressed over her seeming impotence. Seems there's a natural process for it."


"Hmm ... inapplicable as it is in our case, there's also supposed to be this bible passage that supports abortion before the embryo embeds," said Spike.


"Bible also says something about not letting witches live, so considering my mom's a witch, Bible can get fucked," said Jane.


They both drank more blood in silence.


"How the fuck did they know what an embryo was back then?" asked Jane.


"What?" asked Spike.


"The Bible Writers, they predate anything that could have been used to work out that an Ova exists."


"Oh ... ... Dunno."




Tiffany awoke at the sound of her alarm and sat up.


Today she was going on her mission.


It was going to be months before she would be able to return to Lawndale.


There was still a bunch of questions she had that weren't going to be answered until her briefing.


This annoyed her immensely, they wanted her to infiltrate the fucking triads, and she had no idea how she was going to do this.


One thing was for certain, if they wanted her to play the part of a prostitute, Daria would get to see her heart getting ripped out of her chest just before she dies.




"You're going to attract the attention of this guy, Lia Nuuron, a Triad pimp," said Daria.


Tiffany looked around the room full of federal agents and said "Daria, just because I'm in a room full of federal agents doesn't mean I'm not going to kill you if this is going where I THINK it's going."


"You'd be unlikely to learn anything interesting as a prostitute, so that's not what we're thinking. You'll attract his attention, he'll take you home to his brothel, what happens next will go one of two ways, you'll either get a job as a frightener or guard, or you will really piss them off and become their most important target, either would be acceptable but you're more likely to work your way up the chain of command if you become a hit man and the important guys get arrested or otherwise neutralized," said Daria.


"If I become a target?" asked Tiffany.


"You'll keep killing Triad enforcers and make them move large amounts of money for top notch assassins and mercenaries, make them do something we can possibly trace to key triads."


"This is what makes this complicated," said Agent Craig Hiller as he interrupted Daria, "as National Security agents, you're authorized to break the law an awful lot, but we can't, so officially, we don't know this is happening. Your 'anonymous tips' will put us in a position to start acquiring evidence that will help us convict the triads, we think that the local police forces may have been infiltrated or corrupted."


"So they don't know we're doing this, do they?"


"No they don't. If they decide to arrest you, it'll be up to you to resist arrest, but if you do get arrested, the triads may hire a lawyer to help get you out, or bribe the cops into releasing you."


"We have observed no such history of unexplained releases or acquittals, everything looked like it was above board, so best not get arrested," said Daria.


"Okay then, so I go in as a runaway, walk off with a stranger, and hurt the guy when he tries to make me into one of his whores and see where it goes from there?"


"Exactly. Then send us any intelligence you come across, and we'll work out what to do from there. We'll have to delay action against these individuals for some time to avoid compromising your identity."


"How am I to communicate this intelligence?" asked Tiffany.


"That'll be explained as you insert," said Daria.


Tiffany looked in expectance of further explanation.


When none was forthcoming, Tiffany nodded and asked "Anything else?"


"Just your costume and props," said Daria.




Michelle Dushku (Tiffany's character) read the copy of the New York A-Z she had been given along with her costume.


She felt it would have been more appropriate to be reading files on the triads she was to investigate.


That wouldn't make sense in reality of course, but it was how it was done in the movies.


Well, maybe not all of the movies, but ... ahhhhhh.


Any other potential target was back at the last station being held by the police for questioning, they will eventually be released with apologies of course, but the effect was that Tiffany was the only girl worth grabbing.


'Michelle Amanda receiving, over?'


'Of course,' thought Tiffany as she realized this was how she was to communicate intelligence.


'Amanda Tif- ... Michelle, go ahead, over.'


'I'm in position awaiting your arrival, over.'


'All right, I've been seeing nothing but buildings for about half an hour now, so I should be there soon, out.'




Amanda looked carefully around the station.


Eventually she spotted the guy.


'Michelle Amanda, target sighted, main entrance.'




"Attention ladies and gentlemen, we'll be arriving at Grand Central Station in five minutes, all change, all change."


'Received, time on target: Five minutes, over.'


Tiffan- Michelle picked up her backpack and prepared to disembark.


This was going to take some getting used to.


She was going to have to look a little lost, like she didn't know what she was doing.


She entered the station's shopping area looking around.


She then pulled her New York A-Z again just to add to the air of nervous cluelessness.


'Okay, you got him, do not approach, let him approach you.'


Michelle acknowledged and headed over to some of the restaurants, looking at their menus.


She pulled a 10$ note and about 65c in change, and then put it back looking worried.


She then pulled her A-Z again and looked supposedly for some clue as to where to go to eat.


She then slowly headed out of the station.


She stopped at the entrance and then after a few minutes, she headed back into the station and sat on a bench looking like she was hoping to get something useful from the rather uninformative guide book.


Eventually she snapped the book shut in frustration, staring straight up at the ceiling.


"You alright there?"


Michelle looked up at the bearer of the voice and said "Well, provided you're not some goody two shoes out to convince me I'm better off at home, perfectly."


" ... Ooookayyyyy, wasn't interested in your home life, you just looked lost is all."


"Good, exactly where I want to be."


"Want to grab some lunch? My treat," said the 'stranger'.


After about twenty seconds of thought, Michelle said "Yeah, alright then."




After making her selection, Lia suggested she pick a table while he gets their food.


He arrived at the table with two BK triple whopper meals.


Michelle thanked him and started eating.


"So, you have a name?" asked Lia.


Michelle glared a little.


"What? Just curious, I mean ... ... you can make one up if you like."


"Any name I want?" asked Michelle.


"Any name you want."


Michelle snorted a laugh for a moment and said "well, okay, I want to beeeeeee ... ... Xena, or perhaps Max Guevera ... Or better yet, Starfire."


Lia chuckled and said "I have no idea who they are."


"They're people that wouldn't have had to have ... ... "


Lia looked at her in expectance of an answer and eventually asked "What?"




He shrugged and asked "Got a place to stay lined up?"


Michelle sat back and casually said "I heard of this spacious cardboard box this crazy cat lady is putting up for rent, but that might prove a touch expensive, so I don't think that will work in the long term."


"I could let you stay at my place for a while."


"Really? What's the catch?"


He chuckled a little and said "No catch, just being a good Samaritan."


Michelle continued to eat and said "Alright, but any funny stuff will cost you."




They eventually finished their food and headed out.


Michelle watched the city pass around the car, a dodge viper, rather quickly in some places.


Michelle let out a yawn, wondering how much more boring this guy was going to get already.


"Exciting huh?" asked Lia.


"Sure," said Michelle, trying to send more information to Amanda.


Eventually they entered the suburbs and pulled into the driveway of a fully detached house.


"Here we are, come on, I'll show you around."


Michelle emerged from the car blinking the sleep out of her eyes.


The place wasn't that well cared for but it looked like at least some effort went into keeping it looking reasonable.


Inside it was like the kind of place you'd expect Upchuck to live in, full of posters of classy and high powered cars and posters of naked women getting fucked.


If she wasn't a vampire slayer, this would be a little creepy, but she knew she could kick his ass if he tried anything.


Assuming she doesn't fall over from exhaustion.


Wait, what exhaustion?


"Come on, I'll show you your room."


Michelle considered her options.


Lia approached her looking concerned.


He then grinned.


"This'll definitely cost you," she said as she realized she couldn't do either of the two options that had popped up: Bug out or slot the nonce.


"Yeah well, you look exhausted, you should really lie down and get out of those clothes," he said as he put an arm around her and pushed her towards the room he had set up for her.


Her attempt to resist simply caused her to stumble, Lia prevented her from falling flat on her face.


"Easy there," he said as he pulled one of Tiffany's arms over his shoulder and carried her to the room which had a pink bed and was decorated like that of a 'My Little Pony' fanatic.


She could barely feel her body as he laid her down on the bed, "I got ya, I got ya, now let's see what I got," he said as he started to undress her.




'Daria Amanda, receiving, over?'


'Amanda Daria, go ahead, over.'


'Just lost contact with Tiffany.'


'What was the last thing that happened?'


'She was accompanying the target back to his house.'


'Right, I'll contact the feds, set up an operation on his known address, hopefully the guy's dumb enough to take her there.'


'Received, out.'




"That's the only one you could find?"


Tiffany awoke to the sound of voices.


"Yeah, annoying, but it happens,"


Voices from within her room.


"Also looks a bit old,"


She also realized she had fallen asleep naked on top of the sheets, 'wait a minute, OLD???'


"Some kids look older then they in fact are, and yeah, I know she isn't a cherry, but she looks nice enough."


Who were th- ... Tiffany remembered what she had been doing earlier on that day and suddenly realized she was waking up after having accompanied a known pimp home after he DRUGGED her-


"Any signs of venereal diseases?" asked one of the men, she suddenly felt a hand pushing her left knee up to get the leg it was attached to out the way of her-


Tiffany woke up and belted the man that was trying to molest her with the back of her fist.


She was on her feet half a second later glaring at Lia.


Lia backed away nervously, he knew the energy that punch had delivered to his friend's face told of enormous strength.


"What the fuck, did I tell you, about any funny business? Do I really have to spell it out for you? Funny business would have been on the level of hitting on me for sex, and that would have cost you the ability to eat solid food for several months. What do you think, therefore, slipping me a sedative and using me as a fuck doll will cost you, hmmmmm?"


"OWWWW! I THOUGHT YOU SEDATED HER!" said the other guy.


"I did," said Lia as Tiffany continued to advance, forcing him back against the wall.


Tiffany reached forth menacingly, placing her thumb across his trachea as her fingers stroked the side of his head, he looked like he was about to shit himself.


"You two like using girls for your own amusement, like making them do degrading and disgusting things, like making them submit, like watching them die a little inside as you cum on or in them, and thought you'd do the same to me, right? Did you do anything or did I wake up just in time?"


"Nothing, I swear, it reduces the finder's fee if the district pimp sees signs you've just been fucked or smells cum on you," he whimpered.


"But after verification of the goods and a sale, you'd have both had a go, wouldn't you?" Tiffany said as she gently ramped up the pressure on his trachea.


"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me," he cried.


"Oh for fuck's sake," said the other guy as he got up and walked up to them, he grabbed Tiffany's shoulder and tried to spin her towards him, only to find her immovable.


Tiffany struck the guy with her index and middle fingertips of her other hand in his forehead with enough force to throw the guy backwards fast enough that he couldn't even get his hands behind him before he hit the floor.


The second guy finally got the hint that Tiffany was out of his league and called out "NICK! NEED YOUR HELP HERE!"


A couple of seconds later, a heavy built goon in a suit entered and asked "What's the problem?"


"Girl needs hurting."


"Right," said Nick as he turned back to Tiffany and reached for her throat, only for her to grab his wrist and squeeze.






"Girl needs your obedience, if she doesn't want to add three brutal GBH charges to the murder charges. Not that I'll be caught of course. You know, when I arrived in Grand Central Station, I was apprehensive to say the least. Runaway girl on her own with barely enough for a family bucket from KFC, how was I going to survive? But it looks like you three should be able to provide enough money for me to start renting an apartment, albeit a rather shit one, and maybe start looking for a job ... OR just go around mugging people who are too physically strong to get over the embarrassment of getting done over by a girl sized like me to report it. Whatever works best for me."


"Please, you're hurting me," whimpered Nick.


"Yes I am. What would you do to make it stop?" asked Tiffany as she ramped up the pressure, pulsing her grip to enhance her point further.


"ANYTHING! ANYTHING! GOD, JUST STOP DOING THAT!" yelled Nick, who obviously wasn't used to resisting coercion from someone stronger than him.


"Okay," said Tiffany as she let go of Nick's arm, she then handed him Lia and said "Make him suck my clitoris."


Nick apologised to Lia and forced him by his shoulders to his knees.


Tiffany just stood there arms crossed as Nick coerced Lia into placing his lips around Tiffany's clit and he started sucking on it.


Eventually Lia completed his task.


"That was good."


Lia didn't respond.


"Now, you, and that guy you were trying to sell me to, are going to 69 and blow each other."


"HEY!" said Lia.


"NOW WAIT A MINUTE! DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?" started Lia's friend.


"Yes, you're the cunt that wanted to rent or buy me off this guy," Tiffany indicated Lia, "Who sedated and raped me, and I THINK, that the pair of you should be EXTREMELY grateful that I am giving you this chance to work off your debt to me without spending years in traction and then more years learning to walk again."


"But I told you-" started Lia




The two gangsters slowly stripped off and Nick just stood there hoping Tiffany wouldn't punish him along with them.




'Amanda Tiffany, receiving, over?'


'Tiffany, where the fuck were you?' blurted a severely tense Amanda.


'Asleep at the target's house, apparently. I woke up as he was trying to sell me to this guy, gave them both a lesson in why you shouldn't fuck with a vampire slayer.'


'You didn't actually tell them-'


'Fuck no, but I think I've established my character now.'


'What did you do?'


'Made them fuck each other, given what they do for a living, it seemed appropriate.'


Amanda chuckled at this.


'Starting to change my mind about this job.'


'You're good to continue then?' asked Amanda.


'Yeah, I get to be violent to a bunch of bad guys without so many rules about how I may abuse them, it's a sweet gig.'


'Glad you're enjoying it. ... Tiffany, you were unconscious in that guy's house, you may have been raped.'


'At least this time I was unconscious, but I don't think I was actually, guy said it makes it harder to sell me if he recently used me, I mean, he might have, so I'll get some emergency contraception pills, anti-viral and anti biotic for that, but I'm pretty sure he didn't. ... Not that I'm telling him that, I want him afraid of me of course.'


'Of course. I'll tell Daria you're alright then.'


Amanda then focused on Daria.




Daria entered the war room, where Illyria, Jane, Robodaria, Wesley and Winifred were assembled along with Donald.


"Evening," greeted Daria.


"Amiga," Jane replied.


"How's it going with Tiffany?" asked Wesley.


"She seems to be settling in just fine. We ready for this?"


"Probably not," said Robodaria, "but the ships are all in place and are listening out for anything interesting. Signal's five by five so far, that could change."


"Are we getting anything?"


"Yeah, fuck all, they know where our ships are, probably know where our subs are too."


"Ships just got there, right?" asked Daria.


"Yeah," said Jane.


"Okay, let's get a map of the sea floor terrain," said Daria.


"That'll tell the bad guys we're looking for them," said Robodaria.


"We need them to do something interesting," said Daria.


"Okay, do it," said Donald.


Robodaria sent the command.


They all watched as the data came in.


It quickly got boring.


"Nothing so far, that's strange," said Robodaria.


"How's that?" asked Donald.


"We're expecting pipes or cables or something," said Daria.


"Yeah, anything wider than about five millimeters would show up," said Robodaria.


"Would they really need that?" asked Donald.


"They could just be moving bottles from the generator instead," said Robodaria, "problem with that is you have to send units and that can generate noise."


"There's another possibility," said Daria, "they got the power available to burn through kilometers of rock with a laser."


"Or X-ray cannon," said Donald.


"No, you only want to use that for destruction, X-rays penetrate deep into the target and heat the whole thing, you'd leave a massive trench," said Daria.


"If they send units, we'll detect them with active sonar," said Robodaria.


"Which could motivate them to sneak up on the ships and blow them out of the water," said Daria.


"What if they're too sneaky?" asked Jane.


"Our sonar will be over their plant in a few hours, and we're going to blow it up, they'll come running, and we'll detect their origins," said Robodaria.


"We'll get something useful even if it's that they have extremely unkickable asses," said Daria.


"This is a really desperate act, isn't it?" said Donald.


"Hyep," said Daria.


"Sonar contact reported at 42 12 west, 13 10 north, pretty loud, climbing to the surface," said one of the officers.


"I thought the subs were going to maintain radio silence," said Donald.


"This is from the Nebraska sir, Nebraska's not part of the operation, all the other vessels have been tasked with reporting anything of interest," said the officer.


"It's on satellite now," said Robodaria as she brought up the image on the main screen.


They watched as two big black bisected hexagons emerged from the ocean, powered by what looked like larger versions of the plasma thrusters the cyborgs were using, the thrusters were located on the back of the two trailing edges in what looked like neatly carved out recesses.


"Those the fighters?" asked Donald.


"No, those are bigger, and they're packing something between the hemispheres," said Robodaria.


"Packing what?" Asked Donald.


The back of the bit in the middle flashed pulses of plasma as something bright and faintly orange shot out the front, there were several bursts.


"Something very bad for our health," said Daria.


Another image then was inset into the main picture focusing on the projectiles.


"Missiles?" asked Donald.


"Shells," said Robodaria, "that bright light the shells are emitting, it's spectra's consistent with sodium."


The vehicles dived back into the sea.


The projectiles were starting to spread out as they arrived at their first target.


The shells entered along the length of the ship, a frigate, and each segment of the ship was ripped open by a nuclear explosion equivalent to 200T of TNT.


"Sodium? Salt from the sea?" asked Wesley.


"No, that wouldn't do it, it's too bright for that to be heat from friction, that sodium must have been heated directly by a process within the barrel," said Winifred.


"The propellant?" asked Wesley.


"Or the pickup coils," said Daria.


"Who uses sodium to make up a pick- ... Wait a minute, sodium's got really loose electrons," said Winifred, "All the group one metals do, and it would be easier to use something heavier such as rubidium or caesium of course, but they got access to tons of sodium, I picked sodium for a rocket propellant because of it's abundance," continued Winifred.


"If this was a cartoon, we'd all have giant question marks over our heads about now," said Jane.


"Yeah, you gonna give us mere ... errr ... idiots a clue?" asked Spike.


"It's all in the chemistry," said Daria, "Sodium's not got such a tight grip on it's electrons in the outer shell, you can ionize it and have it as a liquid, you'd need diamond to contain it as we're still talking temperatures in excess of 1500 Celsius, and the pressures would still be fairly high if nothing compared to other gasses at that temperature and density."


Jane and Spike looked like they were still confused.


Daria eventually said "ummm, okay, we'll talk more about this later."


"I think the action has ended," said Robodaria.


"What about our submarines?" asked Donald.


"If they've seen them, they ain't showing it."


"How important is that plant?" asked Donald.




"Can our subs investigate?" asked Donald.


"If the subs went active, they'd get wasted for the same reason that the ships did. This isn't Iraq, we'd be unable to come up with a plausible excuse for the deaths of those sailors," said Daria.


"What? You think that John Q. Public matters?"


"Actually, Donald, I think the entire military would go ape shit, especially considering the speed at which you can communicate over ELF channels precludes the possibility of getting anything useful out of such a mission," said Daria.. "It would probably make them feel undervalued... no, it would piss them off. Soldiers know they may die, but they take it personally when REMF's throw them away because they couldn't care less."   


"And how would word of this leave the room?" asked Donald.


A very well-timed chorus of clearing throats brought Donald's attention to the fact that there were a great many military personnel in the room; even the MP's at the doors took this opportunity to clear their throats, also shooting looks at Donald that a sensible man would have taken as cause to slowly ease himself towards the nearest exit.


Donald, however, looked around with alarm. He then glared at Daria, looking highly enraged.


"I don't think you'll cause a general strike by nuking the item, they're expecting us to play along, let's make ourselves look gullible to them, besides, it might be important after all," said Daria.


Donald continued to glare, then he said "Fine, let's see if these things actually work."




"Captain, just got the strike co-ordinates, we're cleared hot," said the lieutenant at the communications station.


"Alright then, going hot, lock it up," said the captain as he brought the B52 out of it's course and placed his finger under the master arm switch.


Weapons officer went through his part of the arming procedure, saying "targets uploaded and locked, system check reveals no problems, arming firing chain, you're ready to shoot."


The captain then flipped the switch connecting the final parts of the weapons system to his pickle button as he said "Pickle's hot," before he pushed the button, "missile away."


The aircraft jumped as the two missiles dropped off their wing stations.


Not only was this weapon fitted with clean nukes, it was also fitted with rockets that use sodium in place of aluminium, so it now went a little bit further than before too.


They watched as the missiles shot ahead of them and climbed out.




"Missiles away, time on target, 43 seconds from now," said Robodaria.


Everyone watched the screens.


The cyborgs did not respond.


At 10 seconds from impact, a heat signature was detected.


two missiles had emerged from the sea.


"No way," said Winifred.


"What? You've never heard of a surface to air missile before?" asked Jane.


Winifred said "That's not what the 'No Way' comment was about, those are liquid fuelled motors, you just about never get those on military weapons, the propellants just plain raise too many problems."


"Hang on, how can you be sure-" started Donald.


"Spectra's consistent with hydrogen, oxygen and ionized steam, that's an axial aerospike motor on it's ass," said Robodaria.


The missiles intercepted the inbound weapons and caused mutual detonation.


"Okay, well, that was an expensive round of show and tell us nothing," said Donald.


"Except how to make the superconductors I need to make the advanced weapons work," said Winifred.


"Also tells us what he's packing more or less," said Daria, "and it makes sense that he's using liquid fuelled missiles, fusion engines give off enough power to store cryogenic propellants indefinitely."


"Bit risky though, isn't it?" asked Wesley.


"Yeah, but the pay off's a greater killing radius," said Daria.


"Yeah, turbopumps allow for greater pressure than a solid motor casing would, so you make better use of the energy provided," said Winifred.


"We don't want to play catch up with these people, we want to overtake them and moon them and flip them off from a great distance while they die of embarrassment from being so much slower than we are," said Daria.


"I think I can get us there now," said Winifred, "the only problem I was having was having was the current carrying capacity of all the known conductor materials, that includes superconductors due to their critical field limitations, too greater magnetizing force and the electrons start agitating the atoms, that'll bring the material past critical temperature and you're no longer superconducting. Alkali metals on the other hand don't use a crystal and can conduct more in the high temperatures, you have to get them there, but once you do, they shed their valence electrons, and they have bigger holes to flow through, and you're laughing."


"So you can get this done now, can you?"


"Should have a series of experiments complete by the end of next week, it works, and I have no reason to think it shouldn't, we can start developing our weapons platform," said Winifred.


"Jane, you've known Upchuck a lot longer than I have, do you think he's likely to rest on his laurels right now?" asked Daria.


"I'd have to think about that one, but offhand, he probably feels too secure to bother with any real technological development pushes, but that means we can't hint at anything we're doing."


"Okay then," said Daria.




Tiffany sat in her new apartment flipping through the channels looking for something decent.


The apartment wasn't that nice, she was tempted to request a nuclear device to clean up the bathroom, and the bathroom didn't look like it could withstand too much steam.


Until she got contacted by the Triads (on whatever terms) she would be short of things to do, so she was seriously considering spending some of her hard stolen money on some plaster, the tools to apply it, a wire brush, couple of cans of latex paint, new light fixture, she could of course try to get the landlord to do something, but that would likely take for fucking ever, and living with a décor that reminded her of the time she got captured by vampires would drive her nuts.


She made a complete list and headed out.


She remembered the location of a B&Q within walking distance, she headed there.


It was still open, but it would close in about half an hour, so she had to get a move on, she figured she should sort out the bathroom ceiling first as it looked like it was going to fall apart, she would need a new light fixture too because the light there was just a normal ceiling rose with a 60W bulb in a normal bayonet cap, that was just George Bush stupid.


She hadn't tried using the shower, but she imagined if she did that there would be enough condensation within the light fixing that there would be a ground fault.


She suddenly wondered if the place even had an RCCB in it's consumer unit.


She wasn't going to get too involved though, she just wanted the place looking decent while she was there. So she was going to sort the bathroom so she could use it, and maybe the bedroom/living room if the mission lasted long enough and gave her the time.


She just about made her purchases as the store started to close.


She kept an eye out looking for anyone following her or the pimps and their goon.


She smiled as she recalled the horror on their faces as she had made them kiss each other, and watching their discomfort as they had stripped each others clothes off and felt each other up was just classic.


Especially when they were looking at each other's penises, starting to cry as they fondled each other. They were aroused in spite of their revulsion, and the way they begged her not to make them suck each other off almost made Tiffany cum.


She also liked the fact that her being naked was of no comfort to them at all, one naked girl, three Triad gangsters, and they were scared of her.


In fact, they were afraid to look at her, as if doing so would set her off.


Having them retain their cum and swap it between them a couple of times made her spontaneously cum, she had then tied the pair of them up so they were sharing a gag made of their own underwear, and she had then tied them to the bed with egg shaped vibrators up their asses, and she left them to cum on each other as she had the goon help her take anything worth stealing.


She would cherish those memories for ever.


She got back into her flat and immediately selected the tools needed to remove the loose wallpaper and plaster, plus the tools needed to remove the unsuitable light from the ceiling.


The consumer unit was ancient, three rewireable fuses (Lights, Sockets and Cooker, she couldn't see any fuse wire laying around, she'd have to get some of that  next time she was out shopping) and no RCCB was present.


And there was an electric shower installed in the bathroom.




The place hadn't burned down at least, so the wires were probably all right, although she wasn't going to use that shower unit without an RCCB, she also figured if the moron installing the shower hadn't fitted an RCCB to the consumer unit, then he probably hadn't used the right conductor section area either.


She could get into that later, she removed the fuse for the lights and brought a lamp so she had a source of light to work to.


About halfway through removing the plaster when she heard a knock.


It was the landlord.




"I heard scratching noises as I was walking past your apartment, which by the way, is not yours, it's mine."


"It's also a piece of shit."


"Show me what you're doing."


Tiffany showed the guy into the bathroom, and he looked furious.


"Better it comes down now and not when I'm in the shower, which, by the way, has no residual current circuit breaker, so I'm not using that until a proper electrician sorts it the fuck out. I'm just going to get the plaster fixed and painted."




"Yes, how about an amendment to my rent agreement: If I get this place looking habitable, I get to stay for half the rent?"


"How about I evict you if you don't stop what you're doing?" asked the landlord.


Tiffany grabbed the man's neck and lifted him into the air, looking really relaxed as she did as if she was just lifting a pen, and said "How about I not put you in intensive care?"


"How about I call the police?" the man rasped.


"How about I mention the shower and prompt an apparently urgently needed investigation of the entire block of apartments?" asked Tiffany.


"Alright, you win," said the landlord.


Tiffany lowered the guy to his feet and said "Pleasure doing business with you," as she shook his hand and patted him on the back (a touch too hard) as she led him out the apartment.


She then got back to work.




"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine," said Louis as he brought the SA80 to his shoulder and dry fired it, "And it is such a piece of shit."


Dave couldn't help but chuckle.


Louis was a twat a lot of the time, but the SA80 was also known as CIGARGs, which meant 'Can I Get A Real Gun?'


How the Enfield rifle company managed to persuade this guy to buy so many was beyond him, but they had to get something to fight with since they couldn't explain to their own quartermaster why they needed the weapons, and if the weapons were to turn up where they shouldn't be, they would be either fired, or jailed and then fired, and military jails suck harder than anything any civilian prison can come up with.


Louis put it down and picked up a G36, and said "I've heard good things about this one."


"Yes, it's very popular," said the gun dealer.


"Alright, we'll take two G36s, with six clips and a C-mag for each, 560 5.56 by 45 rounds, two Glock 18s with three clips for each, 180 nine by nineteen Hydra shok rounds, eight fragmentation grenades, two flashbangs, aaaaannnnnnd three kilos of semtex with eight Remote fuzes with compatible control pack ... Oh, also, two Smith and Wesson Model 500s with 100 Cor Bon full powers."


Louis shrugged as he took one of the X-frame revolvers, thinking 'Pretty decent weapon for a revolver, but a revolver?'


The pair of them left the back alley with their purchases and got in their vehicle to head towards the border.


Louis finally asked "What's with the five shooters?"


"Cover. If we think we're about to get caught, we're rich, recreational hunters, and were never there. For a couple of hundred quid each," explained Dave.


"Okay, but let's just not get caught, eh?" said Louis.


"Sounds like a plan."


They hoped Xander's slayers had been keeping a low profile as instructed.


They eventually got close enough to the border and started hiding their vehicle.


This done they changed into their DPM outfits and applied green face paint, before shouldering their backpacks and heading out towards the Zimbabwean border.




"We need to get a look at that device," said Daria.


"Okay, how?" asked Jane.


"Upchuck will know how to look for any probes we send down, and even Robodaria can't work without some form of external power to recharge off of."


"Right, we basically need something that needs no power, no oxygen, can walk on the seabed and can basically do the things people do ... No, fucking way."




"'I'm Telling my mom on you?'" paraphrased Spike as he and Jane walked down the harbour.


"Stop saying that, and stop fucking laughing too. Something's really wrong here, first Tiffany and now us?" asked Jane.


"I think you're right there, what do you want to do about it?" asked Spike.


"I want Daria to explain apologise and stop going down this corrupt and evil path, I think it's the authority she's holding that's doing this."


"Hmm ... "


Jane looked at Spike for a few seconds and said "What?"


"I think we need to give her the benefit of the doubt here, see where she's going, you know?"


Jane considered this and wondered what it was that suddenly prompted Spike's newfound trust.




Donald nursed his drink as he waited for Barry to show up.


He couldn't believe Daria just did that: Promise change, and then so publicly humiliate him.


"Hey Donald, how's Daria working out for you?"


"Shit. Are you going to do something to her soon?"


"Huh. That shouldn't be, we've taken our action, she should be loyal as Blair right now, what happened?"


"She sided with the soldiers when I suggested we send our subs to attack something, but our forces train for high risk, it's their jobs to do this."


"Would you have gotten anything useful out of it?" asked Barry.


"I ... no," said Donald, "Probably not."


"Does she normally exhibit disregard for the lives of those under her command?" asked Barry.




"Okay, the modification we used has to be subtle if we don't want it being detected, we have a LOT of experience with this, but she'll eventually be entirely on side, give it a month and see what happens, no signs of improvement, I'll chase up the mystic and find out what's happening, okay?"






Tom was putting his stuff away as he was settling into his Bromwell Dorm room, having enrolled on his course.


He was doing a business course in order to prepare to inherit his family business.


He would be excited, except something about Daria was bothering him.


She had insisted that she wanted them to start fucking like a couple of porn stars, but this was way off from the shy introverted girl that could barely move beyond kissing he had gotten used to.


Even the non-sex stuff had been awkward as hell, what had changed? Was she making up for lost time? Trying to right a perceived wrong? Except her body language, usually guarded, was now that of an outwardly affectionate woman, she actually seemed to be fawning over him now, what was that about?


He removed a stack of pairs of pants from his suitcase and was about to place them in his underwear drawer when he realized that some of them felt wrong.


He turned the stack over and found several pairs of pink panties underneath.


"Looks like we got our pants mixed up at some point," said Daria.


Tom turned to see her standing in his room's doorway.


Daria closed the door and walked up to him producing her warrant card saying "Face the wall, hands on your head."


He looked alarmed as he processed what Daria was telling him to do, and he eventually nodded and obeyed.


Daria stepped behind him and cuffed his left hand, placing it behind his back, she then grabbed his other hand and cuffed that too.


"Afraid I'm going to have to strip search you," said Daria, as she slowly slid her hands under his jumper.


It quickly became obvious that she wasn't arresting him.


"Okay, I'll come quietly," said Tom as he relaxed into it.


Or tried, this still felt wrong, she had never even hinted at an interest in BDSM, so there was still this nagging thought at the back of his mind that something was seriously wrong here, but he wasn't about to get confrontational until after he was out of these cuffs.


After pulling his jumper over his head, Daria undid his trousers, sliding her hands down his legs as they fell.


She felt his groin saying "Quite a package you got there, I'm going to have to take a sample to make sure there's nothing there that shouldn't be there."


She then pulled him off the wall and threw him onto the bed, she pulled down his pants and set about collecting her sample.


She started removing her own clothes as she manipulated him saying "probably best the sample doesn't contaminate my clothes."


Tom almost came right there, he resolved to talk to her more seriously after she was done playing with him.