Constraints: follows 'Living Dead Girls 2: Corporate Seizure'


Synopsis: Daria returns to Lawndale to watch Tiffany, and an old former friend of Willows also shows her face.


Living Dead Girls 3: Baptism Of Fire.


Content warning: Violence.


Legal: Daria belongs to MTV, Angel and Buffy belongs to Mutant enemy, and there's a reference to 'Drop The Dead Donkey' in there too. Oh, and there are lyrics from a Rob Zombie song in there too. I also got help from Thea Zara, Dervish, and Nick Calcagni on this.






"Daria? Who's this Daria?" asked the woman.


She looked like Daria. Exact same hair colour, exact same glasses. But she was dressed in grey trousers, a pink fuzzy jumper, and her hair was in a braided ponytail. Also her voice had a wider bandwidth.


Angela looked at her trying to work it out in her mind. The woman stared back in puzzlement.


"Is this a test? Are you playing the role of a disruptive library patron?" asked the woman.


"Library?" asked Angela.


"Yeah, the place I'm applying for management of. Where the books live, ... "


"Oh, the library, you're ... " she flipped through her personal organiser and looked up again "Joy Merryweather?"


"That's me. Who's this Daria you thought I was?"


"Oh, just some, ... Uh, have a seat, Miss Merryweather" said Angela.




It was a watcher cliché that they usually ended up running libraries, but it was a functional one, since they could easily stock it with the information of their trade.


Daria had also copied the watchers council database of demons and organisations, known alternate dimensions, magics, etc. and would receive an update from a courier she knew personally. One who traveled around picking up and dropping off updates. The only time information was passed over the internet was in an emergency, the majority of the communications were spoof messages. Since the majority were such utter bullshit, the minority that were real were unread by spies because they had all given up. That was the theory, anyway, but spies that timed their eavesdropping just right would possibly get what they need.


She concentrated on the pen in her desk organizer, trying to get it to move. It finally happened, she stopped it about a metre overhead. She heard someone enter the library, breaking her concentration, the pen dropped back into the desk organizer.


"Well Helllloooooo my-" started Upchuck.


"Arch nemesis if you continue that train of thought" replied Daria.


"Fffff-" Upchuck started, but couldn't finish because he felt his bladder discharge. He stared down at himself horrified, he then placed the book he was returning on the desk and ran off.


Jodie entered the library, and looked at her saying "Daria?"


"Okay, somebody tell me who Daria is? Because I obviously look like her, and Angela said something about her being in prison. I want to know about my double" said Daria.


"If you're not her, ... "


"I'm Joy Merryweather" said Daria.


"I'm Jodie Landon. Daria Morgendorffer was a student here, but she was involved in the theft of police property, including an APC and some guns. She is now in prison for the next 15 years"


"Right, thank you"


"You're welcome" said Jodie, before heading off in search of a book.




"What have any of these texts got to do with my mission?" asked Illyria.


"That will become apparent later" said Wesley, as he worked on his assigned task.


Illyria approached Wesley and stood on his desk, grabbing his head by the ears so his face was aimed directly at hers and said "You are attempting to distract me from my mission. You're not even working on the destruction of the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart. You have become seduced by their resources and wish to support your masters" stated Illyria.


"Yes, I'm keeping you distracted, but your assumption about my desire to destroy the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart is flat out wrong. We will find a way, but Angel doesn't want you anywhere near our plan, now-" Wesley pushed the muzzle of one of his pistols into her chest and said "-remove your hands from my body, or you can sit out the mission feeding the worms"


Illyria frowned at him for a few seconds, then shoved his head back, propelling him into the window with enough energy to make the sound of head against glass painful.


She then stood up, stepped off the desk, and left.




"Hey Illyria, how goes it with Wesley?" asked the one named Gunn, as he approached Illyria's table.


"He keeps me from contributing to the mission he claims he's committed to. Are you also going to waste my time?" asked Illyria, only pausing her consumption of Petri dishes long enough to answer his question.


Gunn sat down opposite her, and said "considering what you did to Fred, you should consider yourself lucky he hasn't instead decided to examine the effects of firearms on your body. And I'd help him, or have a go myself when he was finished."


"What I did to Fred was based on the reasonable assumption that she was involved with an assassination attempt against me. I have long been an adversary of the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart, and she was in charge of your practical sciences department. She also had the weapon I saw Daria aiming at me in my fragmented timeline. I had to find out how this weapon worked, I no longer consider her a threat."


Gunn thought about his response. He couldn't believe she just claimed probable cause without the slightest hint of contrition as if this was an internal affairs investigation. His friend, his former girlfriend, the girl he loved, was just a suspect to her, and she expected the same perspective of everyone else.


"Illyria, did people ever apologise in your day?" asked Gunn.


"They did, hoping I would spare them."


Gunn stood up, smacking the table with his hands, causing some of the Petri dishes to bounce of Illyria's plate and said "DAMN IT ILLYRIA, YOU ARE NOT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE! IF YOU WANT TO CONSOLIDATE ALLIANCES, YOU HAVE TO TREAT OTHERS AS EQUALS! YOU CAN NOT ASSUME, THAT EVERYONE WILL WORSHIP AND OBEY"


"Obviously" observed Illyria as she placed the stray Petri dishes back on her plate. This was the second time someone came to her with this kind of advice "I am prepared to negotiate the terms of my entrance into an alliance with your organisation."


"Oh really?" asked Gunn, he put his hands in his pockets.


"I wish to remain able to fight, and in control of my mental faculties. But as long as the reprisal Fred determines does not remove either, I am willing to consider the price." said Illyria.


Gunn looked at her, considering her proposal.


"Angel will have to oversee such a negotiation" he said, he then left.


Illyria would be patient, but she would have to consider plans that did not involve Angel and his team as allies.


She had rarely needed other forces than those she had commanded in her day. Now she had to offer something that they wanted; Something that she could possibly barely afford. Chances were that Angel's organisation may demand too much and she would have to break off negotiations. She was going to win one way or another, and there was no point in rushing it. A poorly executed attack could get her killed instead, but since she was pretty much immortal (discounting artificial factors). She had as long as the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart had.




Daria returned to her current place of residence: Penny's room at Jane's house.


"So, how was your first day?" asked Jane.


"Swell, starting to get the hang of it." said Daria.






"Magic?" asked Jane.




"Seem to be getting the hang of it quickly." said Jane.


"Yeah, Willow said the same thing, and expressed concern."


There was a knock on the door. Daria answered it, and let Tiffany in.


"Miss Merryweather" said Tiffany, as she entered. She was dressed in camouflage trousers, a jacket, and with a pair of steel toed boots. She had a small sports bag hanging off her shoulder.


"Hey Tiff, what's with the change?" asked Daria.


"Didn't seem much point remaining fashionable: No dates, no friends wanting much to do with me. I figured I might as well dress for work" said Tiffany.


"Right, I'm still trying to catch up on your logs. Andrew's narration is either a fiendishly cleaver anti-spy tactic, or he's as convinced of his thrilling narration abilities as Upchuck is of his pulling power. I could blow it off and join you on patrol, you could fill me in on any significant events." Daria suggested.


"Can you fight?" asked Tiffany.


"Well, my hand to hand skills are still at the novice level, but I could always bring something to help me out." said Daria, grabbing her other jacket off the wall and the holster under it. It was a back holster and ammo belt for a sawn off shotgun, she put the harness on. "I'm saving for an automatic shotgun."


"I thought vampires couldn't be killed by gunshot wounds" said Jane.


"Nope, it's stake through the heart, ignition, prolonged contact with crucifixes, sunlight and holy water, and, ... " she pulled one of the rounds (brass base, red case, with a yellow stripe around the front) from her ammo belt saying "decapitation"


"With a, ... 12 gauge?" asked Jane.


"Nope, Fin stabilised high explosive." said Daria.


"Are those legal?" asked Jane.


"Council swung a permit, but I had to manufacture the ammunition myself. Luckily your mom had the necessary tools in the basement. I only had to bring the blank cartridges, propellant, and materials to make the shell and filler." said Daria. She then continued "They won't reimburse me for an automatic shotgun though; I'm having to save up for that"


"What was the thing Willow expressed concern over?" asked Jane.


"Apparently she presented megalomania as a result of her rapidly increasing skill, started taking insane risks: Editing her girlfriend's memory, flicking the main breaker on and off by telekenisis. Almost ended up incinerating the planet when said girlfriend was wasted by some wannabe gangster." said Daria.


"Whoa, that sounds, ... What about you?" asked Jane.


"I suppose, I'll have to maintain vigilance. Besides, Willow's a good guy again, and using magic responsibly, so I suppose the problem shouldn't be insurmountable. I just got to be careful, I guess. There are differences between the kinds of magics I'll be learning to use, telekenisis is simply moving stuff with my thoughts. That's a relatively safe one. The harder ones are the spells, because they tend to have instant results and alter reality, materialise objects. There's also the energy itself, that's one of the biggest problems." said Daria.


"How so?" asked Jane.


"Well, mystical energy is barely understood by practitioners of magics, and the amount of energy a single person can wield is extreme. You remember what happened with Illyria, the explosive yield we were looking at?"


"Yeah, would have been like some sort of nuclear explosion." said Jane.


"No, it wouldn't. Nukes draw their energy from the annihilation of matter; energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Mystical energy goes way beyond that. It's not the kind of thing you can ever translate from matter: You can call upon it, channel it, use it, it hangs just outside our perception." Daria explained.


"Okay, well, if it's likely to be so powerful, do you really think you should be messing with it?" asked Jane.


"It's a useful tool in combat. I'm not one to turn down ammunition if I can use it. I'm also reading up on Willows notes about what happened with her. It seems she was introduced to a person who supplied her with some sort of ready to use energy, gave her a mystical version of a sugar rush, got her hooked on that. She was presenting poor judgement before that, but that seemed to be the point where it eliminated her sense of caution, added a dependence on this guys energy to the mix." said Daria.


"Again, doesn't that make it the sort of thing you should avoid?" Jane asked again.


"Not if it can help me do my job. I'll keep in mind how unstable magic is, develop my skill, and, hope I can avoid making a large part of the planet disappear."




She didn't need magic to pull a man. In fact, she could pull several at once. But Amy was getting bored with the whole whore act, so she just used her magics to get as many as possible.


She would get a couple of them to blow her, the rest were for her minions to use. Some of them had the M factor that qualified them for turning.


M for megalomania.


Amy didn't know what effect being turned might have on her magical ability, so she didn't go for it herself. Besides, she wanted to hang onto her daylight mobility. Still, she needed an army, and since she had something to keep vampires interested (a steady supply of human snacks), they seemed perfect.


As long as the sun wasn't shining, but she was getting good at weather spells, so she could usually create the right conditions.


She entered the house that she had gotten the owners of to invite the vamps into and met her senior officers.


"Oooh, got some pretty dolls for me to play with." said Drusilla.


"Yeah, whatever, you nut" said Erin, as she and Brian got up off the couch to pick out their meals.


"Don't be so hard on Dru, Erin, we're all a little crazy" said Amy.


"Mmmm, I like this one. He smells of galvanised haemoglobin" commented Drusilla as she picked one out of the crowd.


"Although some crazies are more equal than others." Amy admitted.


"Okay, well, we're undead and loving it, provided we can actually start taking over the world. We going to go to work now?" asked Erin.


"Sure, tonight we'll turn all the cops in this town, then we'll do the same to the day shift" said Amy.




 "-So, I was like, 'you were saying?', then these two cops showed up and had me put down my weapon. I had to wait for them to get real close before I could do anything. I had to throw one into the other in order to get them off their game, but in the process the vamp legged it. I could do little else but also get some distance" said Tiffany, concluding one of the more interesting reports.


"Not a lot of activity going on here." observed Daria.


"Not a lot of Hellmouths in our world." Tiffany replied.


"It's a pity most the slayers have family that can't for whatever reason be involved. If we could improve our mobility, there'd be enough of us to go state by state." said Daria.


"Would that be effective?" asked Jane.


"I dunno, but I think we would be more effective if we could move more of our forces around." said Daria.


"The fact that we don't, as a force for good, have legal recognition and authority is another issue." said Tiffany.


"Not a lot we can do about that. The Watchers Council isn't secretive because our tactics depend on it, it's secretive to keep us all from being confined to psychiatric wards." Daria countered.




PC Sarah Park was about to leave for work when there was a knock on the door.


She answered it, a woman with long black hair dressed in a long flowing skirt and fuck all else was standing there. "Hello my child. I am Drusilla, the fairy god queen, here on a mission of love. May I come in?"


Sarah looked at her for a few seconds, and said "I guess you'd better, come in, have a seat." she turned to go for her phone to call an ambulance; that woman, on drugs or not, needed help.


She picked up the phone and turned around to direct the woman to a sofa, but the woman had changed her appearance: Her face now looked butt ugly, her irises were yellow, and her canines were pointy.




Brian knocked on his targets door and straightened his tie.


The man answered and Brian introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Brian Danielson, I'm here to talk to you about possible radon emissions in your area. May I come in?"




"Anatomical drawing and microprocessors at the same time. ... And that indicates what exactly?" asked Jane.


"Androids, turns out Willows expertise of robotics came from dissecting two robots made by this other Upchuck like guy, Warren Meers. Both were self propelled real dolls: One named April, the other was a copy of Buffy Summers, one of the senior slayers, commissioned by William, ... Something, call sign 'Spike', can't remember his surname right now." said Daria.


"Upchuck building sexbots, D'you reckon if he builds one, he'll stop hitting on us?" asked Tiffany.




 "Where's Erin?" asked Amy.


Drusilla and Brian looked at each other.




 "Ooh, I so know what you mean there, Miss Freklestein." said Erin, as they discussed the pros and cons of open air wedding ceremonies.




Then they looked back in the direction they had come from, they headed back.


"By the way, you mind covering yourself between jobs Dru? We're trying to avoid attention right now"


"But I want to attract more prey, they so like my lovely charms, like fireflies to an electric arc" replied Drusilla.


"Which would also draw attention. I can't stress how important it is that we don't give any warning to the watcher's council until it is too late for them to act." said Amy.




 "Whoa, check out the topless chick." said Tiffany.


"Yeah, they do seem a little conspicuous." said Daria.


The trio ahead of them turned a corner.


"Yeah, exhibitionist gal's a vampire, that's my former roommate" said Jane.


"Right, I'm on it" said Tiffany, starting to run after them.


"Wait, let's see if they go to a nest first." Daria suggested.


"Okay, good call"


They jogged across the road and headed for the leylandii line bordering the front yard closest to the corner




Amy looked into the front lounge through the window, seeing Erin discussing some marriage magazine with the target.


She sighed and walked to the front door and knocked.


The occupant answered it.


"Hi, I'm with Erin. There's something I need to discuss with her, y'mind?"


She let Amy in.


Amy entered the house and said "Erin? ... What are you doing?"


"I was discussing the latest issues of the magazine as per my job." replied Erin.


"No, as per your cover, remember? Cover for getting into cops houses so you can turn them into vampires? Remember?"


"All right, All right," said Erin, getting and throwing the magazine into the sofa "you don't have to get snotty about it." She promptly vamped out and grabbed the stunned woman, and fed off of her.




 "Jane, hide, follow any runners, report their destination or last known location." Daria ordered as Tiffany headed off in the direction of the scream. Daria then pulled her sawn off and followed.




Tiffany encountered the three people minus the other girl, but saw a blonde vampire feeding off a 40ish woman, she would have to engage that one first. She got inside before Dru and friend could react. The blond vampire wasn't really paying attention to the front door, so she got around her and staked her.


She pulled the victim into a more defensible location, looking at the other girl, who was rooted to the spot. Aside from the blonde she had just killed, Drusilla was the only confirmed vampire.


"ERIN! NO!" she heard the distressed cry from the boy outside, then she heard him shout "AMY, INVITE ME IN!"


"I don't live here, the resident isn't dead yet, just unconscious." said 'Amy'. The girl then waved her hand and Tiffany felt herself fly against the wall, the force pinned her limbs and she felt her ribcage start to bend.




Daria skipped sideways, ready to shoot, Drusilla and Brian turned to her game faced. She shot Drusilla first, but Dru bowed her head and the projectile struck her forehead instead. The blast caused a 5cm wide, 1cm deep crater, she collapsed unconscious. Daria fired at Brian who was distracted by Drusilla's collapse. The projectile struck his top vertebra from it's 10 o'clock position, having the intended effect of kicking the bone out of the neck and breaking any connection between the shoulders and the head.


Daria opened the breech with one hand, grabbing two fresh rounds with the other. The spent cartridges had just fallen out of the weapon when the girl (presumably the one Brian called Amy) came out, eyes pitch black, her hand pointed at Daria. Suddenly Daria was pulled down onto her ass, then onto her back, her arms and legs pinned were they landed. She felt like she was lying on a neutron star. She saw the girl walk off with Drusilla over one shoulder, with her hand still pointed at Daria. She was out of sight before the force abated. Daria took a moment to recover enough to sit up. She reloaded her sawn off, pocketing the spent cartridges, and got to her feet. She was about to call Tiffany's name, but decided that having her name heard at a crime scene would probably be a bad thing, so she entered the house. She found Tiffany in the woman's bedroom with the woman holding a credit card over the holes Erin had left. Tiffany had called for an ambulance.


"You two okay?" asked Daria.


"She's alive and conscious, looks like we were just in time." said Tiffany.


"I got Brian, Amy and Dru got away. I'm gonna join the hunt, soon as the medics arrive, ... " said Daria.






Amy got to the front door and found she had to reach her key pocket with her other hand as the hand corresponding with the pocket was holding Drusilla's hand.


She felt fangs puncture her shoulder "You're awake now are you?" she asked, looking at Drusilla's vamped out face.


Drusilla paused in her feeding and Amy dropped her on the ground, she then got her keys out and opened the front door.


The other vamps met her in the hall way, Drusilla followed Amy, asking "Are you angry at me for stealing your crimson syrup of life?"


Amy turned to her and said "Tell you what Dru, if you can figure out the correct answer to that AND deliver it without any weird insane rambling, I'll forego punishing you, okay?" she then turned back to her crew and said "Pack up, we're moving house, anywhere east of here. We bumped into a Slayer and a demon hunter, took out the Danielsons, and possibly sent a scout: I saw the same face behind us a few times, so we have to assume they know our location now. We'll cross to our rear right neighbours back yard, in case the scout's watching the front."




Angel entered central filing and sought out the person he was looking for.


"Illyria, what are you doing?" asked Angel.


Illyria stood up straight, looking around, and whispered "Where is she?"


Angel cocked his head, and, in a lazy tone, said "Leery, you smell nothing like Harmony."


Illyria dropped her disguise and said "You and your minions will not let me participate in your mythical attempt to destroy the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart. The situation dictates I find another means to accomplish my mission."


Angel sighed and said "You tortured one of my staff, and recently assaulted another."


"The first time was in response to a highly probable assassination attempt, the second was down to your minions attempt to divert my attention with pointless busywork." She replied coldly.


"And what will you do after Wolfram and Hart are gone?" he asked.


"I intend to reclaim what was mine" said Illyria.


"You are probably aware that none of us have any intention of reinstating you as a god, especially given the violence of your rule." said Angel.


"I made a proposal that your minion Gunn said he would forward to you" said Illyria.


"He mentioned that. The problem is it is difficult to imagine any punishment making any kind of impression. Your age prior to your incarceration in the deeper well means you would have the mental endurance to shrug off anything short of lethal force" said Angel.




 "That's the second cop I've been involved in an incident with" said Tiffany.


"That woman Erin was biting?" asked Daria.


"Yeah, I saw her warrant card fall out of her pocket when I pulled her wallet to get her credit card"


"Okay, Drusilla and Amy, I'm assuming that's Amy Madison, are both considered major players. Amy less so, because of her young age, but Willow listed her as a mid skill witch who is self centred and reckless enough to be considered a potential threat, so if she's running with Drusilla, or Drusilla with her, we have to take that seriously. Erin and Brian, probably there as minions, that many vamps in one place, Brian, Amy, and Drusilla converged on that house for whatever reason."


"You think they're up to something?" Asked Tiffany.


"Amy's hanging with Vampires, saved Drusilla's ass, what I'm wondering is what would they want with cops?" asked Daria.


"Cops plural?" asked Tiffany.


"Yeah, like I said, it was just a hunt, why go for someone who's home?" asked Daria.




 "And you'd look sweet, on the tandem seat, of a bicycle made, for two, he-he-he-he." sang Drusilla.


"Dru, could you please at least PRETEND to be paying attention?" asked Amy.


"What happened to her?" asked one of the vamps.


"Angelus drove her nuts prior to turning her." said Amy.


"I mean on the mission?" the vamp asked.


"Explosive round to the head, if you're wondering about the crater." said Amy, as Drusilla continued to dance and sing really old songs, she started into 'Don't Dilly Dally On The Way'.


"Man, that shot must have really fucked her up." commented another vamp.


"Well, I can't honestly say I noticed any difference myself" said Amy, desperate to get back on topic, she then turned to the giggling insane vamp and forced her into a sitting position on the floor saying "Don't make me squash you into neutronium."


"Aww" pouted Drusilla as Amy turned to the rest of her force.


"Now, we got most of the night shift, they will soon be turning up at work, they will turn the staff present and the following shifts into vampires. Then each night, they will go around and turn the rest of this town with door to door enquiries. We get around a third of the town turned. The rest is food. Although in the long term, we are going to have to start thinking about how to farm our blood cows, aren't we?"




Daria and Tiffany met up with Jane where she had phoned in the location of the nest.


"I haven't seen any movement since Amy and Drusilla got there." said Jane.


"Okay, Tiff and I will do a recon, Jane, you grab your flamethrower and meet us back here." said Daria.


"Right" said Jane, before heading off.


"Okay, and, err, what exactly are we supposed to do against the gravity queen?" asked Tiffany.


"Go on a diet." suggested Daria.




They headed across the road to the house.




Illyria stood in her cell, wondering how long it would be until Angel figured out that she was essential to his victory over the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart.


Hadn't she been humiliated enough already? First she infects the wrong body (UPS will regret that to the extent that her enemies regretted so much as slagging her off in her day). Then she loses her powers. Then she finds herself having use diplomacy. And now, ... now, ... ... NOW SHE WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DECIDE HER FATE LIKE ONE OF HER SLAVES!!!


The mental outburst was just that, mental, externally, she didn't move.


The one called Spike walked into view.


"Has your leader reached a decision yet?" asked Illyria.


"Err, no, they're still rolling the dice up there, tallying the results. More even numbers than odd, we let you participate. More odd than even, ... " he grinned and made a cut throat gesture.


"Do not mock me, half breed. ... ... I have offered to submit to the wrath of the one you call Fred, as she was the one who was wronged."


"Uh-huh, well, I've never known her to be the vengeful kind"


"You have obviously not seen her when she is angered. When the one called Willow removed the talisman from Fred's neck, I sensed an intense rage, the kind of rage that would compel her to kill people she loves in order to carry it out. Fred is perfectly capable of designing an appropriate penalty. Or overstepping it."


"You sensed it, huh? What else can you sense?"


"Grief, joy, euphoria, distress. Last night I sensed Wesley and Fred's joy when they engaged in sexual intercourse in one of the supply closets on the floor below"


"Fascinating. ... Who was your shell?"


"Her name was Stacy Rowe, she was a member of an organisation known as the Lawndale High Fashion Club"


"Fashion Club? That's the sort of thing Harmony would create."


"That was not really where her passion lay," said Illyria "she merely joined it to enhance her public figure, to avoid persecution. She felt highly vulnerable, open to attack. That is the same reason Knox tried to win my approval. She was Sandi Griffin's Qwa'ha Xahn"




Daria and Tiffany met back in front of the house.


"See anything?" asked Daria.


"Nothing, either they're out, holed in the basement, or have moved off." said Tiffany.


Jane showed up with her favourite toy (covered in a big cloth) "Find anything?"


"Nope, but we need to check inside" said Daria.


"Okay" said Jane, she looked around to see if they were being watched, then she pulled the cloth off her flamethrower.


It had flames painted all over it's fuel stores, the frame was painted gloss black, and it had an iridescent finish on the fuel stores changed from the fire colours to a purple/grey at different angles.


"Nice paint job." Tiffany said, impressed.


"Little worrying though, you haven't named it have you?" asked Daria.


"Nope" said Jane as she turned the generator on, Daria nodded and turned to the front door before Jane finished, "Haven't thought of a name yet."


Daria looked at her, as Jane vamped out and pulled the rip chord on the generator, she then lit the pilot light.


Daria pulled her own weapon and a flashlight, and Tiffany pulled her stake. Daria placed her hand on the lock, opening it with telekinesis. She then entered, flashlight held against the weapons forearm.


Daria went left, Tiffany went right, Jane stayed in the middle watching the stairs. Her weapon, though massively destructive, wasn't much good at point blank because in that time it takes to catch fire, the target could incapacitate and kill her.


There wasn't much furniture that could conceal a person standing, so Daria cleared the room fairly quickly.




Tiffany entered the dining room, she dropped to a low crouch, saw nothing, then lifted to a squat as she checked the dining room cabinets, all clear.


She moved onto the kitchen.


She checked all the cupboards that could conceivably hide a vampire.




Daria met Tiffany near the back door.


"Nothing" said Tiffany.


"Ditto" said Daria.


"Where next?" asked Tiffany.


"Basement" Daria replied.


Daria took a position to the left of the door, and Tiffany pulled it open.


Daria then skipped down the stairway getting a look at the basement in full real early. She checked under the stairs too.


She noted a washing machine, a tumble dryer, and several shelf units, a work shop, and a big cloth covered device in the centre.


Daria signalled Tiffany to advance, she then signalled Tiffany to go around one side of the device, while she went around the other way.


Daria lowered her weapon and turned back to the stairway.


They re-entered the rest of the house, then they went up stairs, Jane followed.


Jane stayed at the top of the stairs, while Daria and Tiffany cleared rooms.


They came up with nothing.


"Attic?" asked Tiffany.


"I guess" said Daria.


They pulled the counterweighted door down and released the ladder.


Daria handed the flashlight to Tiffany. Since this was an obvious ambush point, it would be better if the hand to hand expert went up first.


Tiffany advanced into the attic and Daria followed.


They approached the main cistern and went their opposite ways around it.


Again, nothing.


They returned to the first floor and closed the attic door.


"Well, that confirms it, we're going to have to look for signs of an escape. The plus side is it's night, relatively little foot traffic to disturb the tracks of our escaping horde of undead." said Daria.


They headed back down stairs.


They decided to go out the back way.


Daria's foot kicked an invisible force.


Daria pushed at the invisible barrier with her hand.


Then she headed to the front door.


Same results.


"Okay, windows, check everything" said Daria.


It took a few minutes for Jane to go through the upstairs, Daria the ground floor, and Tiffany the basement.


They returned to the centre of the lounge.


"The chimney?" asked Jane.


"I don't really feel like appearing on Americas Dumbest Criminals. Amy must have plans that go beyond annoying us." said Daria.


"A trap?" Tiffany asked.


"Yeah, ... we never did check that thing in the basement, did we?" mused Daria.


They headed downstairs to find out what it was.


Daria lifted the cloth to find large sacks of ammonium nitrate, sitting in a pool of something. Daria wiped her fingers in it and sniffed, it was diesel.


She and Tiffany lifted the cloth completely off and found an electronic box poking out from between two of the sacks.


There was a display counting down from 28m42s.


"Okay, well, I guess that should have been expected." said Jane.


"I don't think we should attempt to defuse this thing or remove any of these sacks. We need to take down the barrier" said Daria.


"Can you do that?" asked Tiffany.


"I tried earlier, but Amy's way more powerful; I feel like I need to check my watch against the clock on teletext or something after that gravity spell. I'll try calling out from the attic, the distance should hopefully prevent me tripping any RF sensitive components in the fuse, but I doubt Willow's anywhere near here." said Daria.


"Then try my mom, she has to be a powerful witch to ensoul me." said Jane.


"She in now?" asked Daria.


"Last I was there." said Jane.


They headed upstairs.


Daria asked Jane her mom's number and Jane gave it to her, but Daria stopped immediately "What?"


"No signal" said Daria.


"Okay, then what do we do?" asked Jane.


"hmm, ... Amy's spell is using energy, it can only do that for so long, we need to exhaust it" Daria got up and headed back down stairs "I don't think we're doing it with force, find a compass."


"Why?" asked Jane.


"I wanna check something." Daria replied.


Daria Jane and Tiffany each picked a room and looked.


"FOUND ONE" called Jane, they met in the hallway, and Daria looked at it. The needle was turning slowly.


"She covered anything magnetic too." said Daria, she then took the compass to a window and the needle started spinning really, really fast.


"How's that useful?" asked Jane.


"Magnetic flux is less work to derive from mystical energy" said Daria "but the collapse of the spell might cause a big electromagnetic pulse that could trip the fuse even if it isn't designed for RF sensitivity"


"So, what do we do then?" asked Jane.


"I need to check one more thing" said Daria, she then headed downstairs, they followed her down.


She entered the basement, "The hearth is standing on this big stone column. We rip the fire out, place the kitchen table with enough mass in the cavity underneath it to tamper the blast. That should give us a place to wait out the blast." said Daria as she returned.


"We're on it" said Tiffany.


Jane followed Tiffany as Daria went for the table.


She, Jane and Tiffany then went around getting every book, board, and immovable lump they could find.


"Now help me move the stove from the kitchen" said Daria.


They did.


They loaded everything into the underside of the table and taped it in place. Then Daria directed the strong girls to place the stove in front of the hearth, leaving just enough space for them to squeeze in behind the table.


 "My Flamethrower!"


"There will be others." Daria told her.


"Oh? And if it was one of your stories?" asked Jane.


"Okay, place it in the corner of the basement that has a clear view of the bomb, that way, no shrapnel. Put it right up against the walls" said Daria.


Jane ran down.


"Will that really protect it?" asked Tiffany.


"I dunno, it should do, but the paint will probably get roasted" said Daria.


Jane returned and said "5 minutes" before getting in with them. They had to squeeze together, since they could not allow the table to transfer any load onto them, and Daria decided to start using her magnetic skills to try to bring down the field early so they could clear off the instant it was down.


It was a long 5 minutes.


"What if it's a dud?" asked Tiffany.


"We can't assume that." Daria reasoned.


"I can't see my watch." said Jane.


They waited.


"How do we know five minutes have elapsed?" asked Tiffany.


"I'm counting down from 300." said Daria.


"Ah" acknowledged Tiffany.


They waited a little longer.


Suddenly they heard a bang. The table was thrown against the fireplace, they heard the stove collide with the chimney stack, and it fell backwards.


They looked up and saw the smoke cloud rising, and bits of the house in the air falling mostly downwind.


They got up and tried to step outside the property line. It worked "Okay, we need to be gone. Jane, hurry up with your flamethrower and pick an escape route, then return to base" said Daria.




Jane entered the Lane house with her Flamethrower on her back, covered once again in its concealing cloth.


"I don't think I was seen." said Jane.


"Good" said Daria.


Jane took the device off her back and examined it, there was no visible sign of damage aside from some dust.


"I guess if we're going up against Amy, we need another witch on board." said Daria.


"I'll talk to mom then." said Jane, headed to the basement.


"And I'll call Willow." said Daria, grabbing her cell phone again.


Amanda and Trent entered.


"JANE, SHE'S OVER HERE!" shouted Daria.


Jane returned "Hi mom."


"Jane, what happened out there? I was looking at the stars in the back yard, and I saw this ring of mist moving through the sky like a nuclear bomb had gone off."


"It wasn't though, the speakers at my gig would have been blown out by the pulse" said Trent.


"You know what an EMP is?" asked Jane.


"I heard the phrase EMP hardened in a few electronics stores and asked Daria what it meant." said Trent.


"Mist was a rarefaction zone from the blast caused by a shit load of ANFO detonating in the basement of a house we were trapped in. Oh, and by the way, Jane says you're a witch?"




"Right, We might need your help with something. See, there's this other, less pleasant witch called Amy Madison. She's the one who set that spell that trapped us in that house" said Daria as she waited for her phone to ring.


"Who are you calling?" asked Amanda.


"Another witch, probably better to have two against her" the phone stopped ringing.


"Hi Joy." said Willow.


"Willow, how far are you from Lawndale right now?"


"Several thousand miles, I'm in England right now"


"Okay, just I've encountered Amy Madison here, and she's up to something. Last saw her at the scene of a biting carrying off Drusilla, who I didn't quite kill, but managed to ding slightly."


"I'll be right there." said Willow.




 "Damn it" said Amy, upon hearing that no casualties had been found in the house. She turned off the TV and said "What is it with good guys? I mean, I could incinerate the surface of the planet and they'd still be there, 'Hello, Hi mom, I'm on telly.'" she said, before chucking the remote into the sofa.


"They're like the moat of goldfish surrounding the giant peach of the round table." said Drusilla.


Amy turned to her and then turned back the way she was facing, and said "At least we got the majority of the Night shift. One that got away will be thrown in a padded cell when she says she was attacked by vampires and a witch, I guess we're sorted for now." she landed back on the couch and told everyone "Get some sleep, get some tail, get some blood if you can get away with it, just don't get us found for the next 8 hours." before falling asleep on the couch.


The other vamps dispersed to go about chosen activity.




 "Raping the geek

And hustling the freak

Like a hunchback juice

On a sentimental noose

Operation filth

They love to love the wealth

Of an SS whore

Making scary sounds


Crawl on me

Sink into me

Die for me-"




Daria turned around and looked at her in bewilderment and, a few seconds later, asked "have you HEARD the shit kids listen to today?"




When Daria got to the library, she met Tiffany.


"Willow should be here this afternoon." said Daria.


"Okay, it would help if we had a way to infiltrate the vampire nest." Tiffany said.


"Yeah, I'd have Jane do it, but Drusilla knows her. I also think we could do with Illyria's help on this, but her objectives are to take over the world. I am concerned that she could end up teaming up with Amy, so it looks like we wait for Willow and see if she can locate Amy." said Daria.


"What about Amanda Lane?" asked Tiffany.


"I asked her, but she called no joy after the 5th map blew up in her face, so we're not going to get anything done until Willow gets here."


"Booby traps, gravity, possibly weather, since she's running with vampires, what else does she have form for?" asked Tiffany.


"Transmutation of animals, mind fucking Willow, introducing Willow to Rack, the guy who got her hooked on the mystical equivalent of crack cocaine, transmutating Buffy Summers into a rat, Amy also got hooked on Racks magic." said Daria.


"This Rack, maybe we could locate him?" asked Tiffany.


"Nope, he's dead."


"Okay, who else could Amy go to?" asked Tiffany.


"I'm not sure she would go to anyone like that again. As I said, mystical version of crack, makes you feel powerful, but you become a slave to it. If Amy was doing that kind of magic, I seriously doubt she would have the presence of mind to be able to lead a gang, or build a bomb and accompany it with a snare spell" said Daria.


"So she's like that naturally?" asked Tiffany.


"Most likely." said Daria.


"Most likely?" asked Tiffany.


"Well, ... Amy's never shown any inclination beyond her own needs and pleasures before, but that doesn't mean she's working for someone else necessarily." said Daria.


"But something feels off to you?" asked Tiffany.


"Yeah" said Daria.


"But you don't know what?"


"Pretty much" said Daria.




Amy was awoken by someone entering her alarm field. She looked up at the vamp leaning over her and pushed him off telekinetically.


Amy got a good look at him. He was in knee length denim shorts, a Marylyn Manson tee shirt, and had green spiky hair, some ear and nose rings, and trainers. A lot of dirt was present in his clothes.


"Who are you?" he asked.


Amy looked around and shouted "DRUSILLA?" before getting up.


She then turned to the vamp and said "I'm Amy Madison, the boss to you if you wish to remain here, and you are?"


The vamp unvamped his face, "Shaun Littleton"


"And you were just turned today?" asked Amy.


"Turned?" he asked.


"In, to, a, vam, pire." clarified Amy.


"I'm a vampire? ... Whoahhhhh" he said, sounding like your stereotypical stoner.


Amy sighed again and shouted "DRUSILLA! WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU?"


"Boss lady's upset at something?" asked Drusilla.


"What's this?" asked Amy pointing at the newest member of their army.


"Shaun Littleton, the stars and the voices told me he's going to be a lot of fun to be around." said Drusilla.


"Right, voices and stars, ... You could at least have stayed with him and told him what was going on. I mean, fine, turn them, I want an army, just be sure to tell them what's what when they wake will you? And what's with the dirt? You always bury your ones. Why?" asked Amy.


"I need to, it makes the birth special." said Drusilla.


"Whatever, just don't leave new vamps to wake up unattended, okay Dru?"


"I just wish we could have done it by star light, it doesn't feel right without the starlight" said Dru.


"The sun's a star." said Shaun.


"Yeah, if you like the burning feeling. Sorry, but the only vampire clichés that aren't true are silver, garlic, and transmutation. ... Except for Dracula, but he's a walking cliché."


"I see, ... So, ... you just need muscle, or can I, like, blow stuff up too?" asked Shaun.


Amy looked like she was about to cry.




Angel walked up to Illyria's cage and asked "comfy?"


Illyria cocked her head and said "indeed"


"Not bored are you?" asked Angel.


"Have you reached a decision about my proposal that we join forces?"


"Illyria, I just can't take any chances, you are a completely unknown quantity, you are a megalomaniac. How can you be trusted?"


"How can the Watcher's Council trust you?"


"What's that got to do with anything?"


"You have entered the employment of their enemy; they do not trust you. You are also under the employment of my enemy, and I trust you. Perhaps you would return the favour"


"You still wish to reclaim the world as your own domain, and will, how did you put it? Serve no master but your ambition?"


"You assume that means doing so within a time scale you can handle. You fail to realise how old I am, and that I intend to do it in a manner that lasts and generates genuine loyalty, and will ensure I inherit the combined military assets of this world at their full strength. I can not do that simply by coercing anyone, not any more. I need to convince people that I deserve their loyalty, I will conquer through endearment, not intimidation."


"That could take a while." said Angel.


"Indeed, I estimate 50-200 years."


"Right" Angel walked off.


Illyria resumed her original pose.




 "You're not going to believe she won't do it violently, will you?" asked Spike.


"Not sure what to believe, but she might be reconsidering her policy towards the recruitment minions." said Angel.


"Or, she's trying to fool everyone into believing that." said Spike.


"She has all the time in the world, then all the time of another if she sees the development of interstellar craft." Said Angel.


"Fucks sake." Spike said, leaving the security room.




 "For fucks sake, can't anyone make an effort to keep this place tidy?" asked Amy after tripping over another corpse.


"Sorry boss." said one of the vampires.


They were just getting ready to resume operations. It was mainly up to the cops they had turned to start turning other cops and some of the more suitable criminals into vampires, but they had another problem, possibly, depending on how big a problem the Slayer thinks she has.


"Willow is coming." said Drusilla, proving Amy's paranoia to be justified.


"Right, that case, we need a serious distraction in order to keep her away. We need to take that slayer out of the picture, but in such a way that it prevents the others from working on us." said Amy.


"How do we distract her then?" asked another vampire.


Amy thought about it.




Willow and Kennedy exited the airport, and met Daria at the entrance.


"I'm starting to remember my way around this town, the number of times I've been here." said Willow.


"Yeah, sorry to drag you here again, but-" started Daria before Willow cut her off.


"Yeah, I know, Amy Madison, I really, really hate her."


"Seconded." said Kennedy.


"So, how's it going with Tiffany?" asked Willow.


"Too early to comment really, this is my second day as her watcher, she seems to be up to scratch though." said Daria.


"Is that a gun under your coat?" asked Kennedy.


"Sawn off shotgun, FSHE, use it to decapitate vampires." said Daria.


"With,  fffffishing wire?" asked Kennedy.


"Fin Stabilised High Explosive" said Willow.


"Ohhh, ... we never use guns" said Kennedy.


"Yeah, well, until I catch up with Tiffany, I'm not much help to her with a stake." said Daria.




Tiffany was headed to the Lanes when she noticed a group of vampires chasing Andrea along the road intersecting the street she was on, heading left.


"Game on." she said, pulling her stake, she started her pursuit.


As they approached the park, the group of vampires (10-15 approximately) fanned to Andrea's left, and they all turned right into the park through a 2m gate in the hedge line.


She followed them and immediately collided with two that were waiting at her two o'clock. She staked the first one, and the second went around to her 4 O'clock. She got the second one and was about to continue her pursuit when she noticed something wrong.


The two vampires she just staked.


They weren't turning to dust.


She went back to the bodies that were face down.


She turned them face up.


They weren't vampires.




Andrea kept running, the vampires fanned in one direction or another, like they were herding her, but she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.


She then saw Tiffany up ahead running towards her carrying a wooden baton or stake or something.


"TIFFANY, OTHER WAY, GO!" she shouted.


Tiffany ignored her and grabbed Andrea. Andrea was spun as Tiffany started engaging the things that had been chasing her.


Some of the monsters kept grabbing her, but Tiffany got them before any of them could do anything more than grab her.


Eventually the remaining monsters simply scattered.


Tiffany came over to Andrea and asked "you good there?"


Andrea looked up at her and said "Err, ... what just happened?"


"You were being chased by a gang who, ... were on, ... PCP or something" said Tiffany.


" ... PCP?" asked Andrea.


"Yeah, fucks up the face, ... " Tiffany sounded about as convincing as the case for a ban on gay marriage.


"Whatever." said Andrea.


Tiffany and Andrea headed out of the park, but they then heard sirens.


"Listen, I got to, ... " Tiffany trailed off pointing somewhere off to their left.


"Yeah, okay, I'm good now" said Andrea.


Tiffany then ran off.


Andrea continued on back the way she had come, hoping that Tiffany hadn't left her without being certain that those creatures were long gone.


Andrea encountered some uniformed police officers as she approached the gate she had entered the park through. Three were maintaining a perimeter while another two were putting up crime scene tape.


She looked on and saw two bodies with ~3cm wide holes in their chests.


She looked back into the park for Tiffany, then at the bodies again.


"Ma'am?" one of the officers pointed his flashlight at her.


"Yes?" she responded a little uncertainly.


"Did you see anyone running away from this location earlier?"


"No, I don't, ... no" she responded.




Tiffany couldn't maintain her run for long, it had become an extraordinary effort of will just to do her fucking job after she had, ... ... ... ...


She just kept walking, she eventually reached the parks perimeter.


She then decided to go home, she wasn't sure she wanted to go to her watcher now.




Daria, Willow and Kennedy entered the house and encountered Trent and his band.


"Hey Joy" said Trent.


"Trent" Daria greeted back, then she asked "Jane about?"


"Yeah, out back" he said.


"Thanks" said Daria as she lead Willow and Kennedy out back with her.




Jane and Amanda were discussing something out back when they got there.


"Daria, Willow, and, ... " greeted Jane.


"Kennedy" said Kennedy.


"Where's Tiffany?" asked Daria.


"Dunno, she's running late." said Jane.


"Right, Willow, Jane's mom, Amanda Lane." introduced Daria.


"Hello" said Amanda.


"Pleased to meet you" said Willow.


"Okay, Willow, you have had the most experience in dealing with Amy Madison, so once Tiffany is here, we'll go over what we have observed lately and then see if we can formulate a plan." said Daria.




Tiffany entered the house and headed up stairs.


Her parents didn't seem to have noticed her return, that was good, because she knew full well she was sporting a spaced out look.


She placed her coat on her chair and sat on her bed, and stared at the big round mirror on her wall.


She didn't think to do anything else.


The phone rang.


Then someone picked up.


A few seconds later, her dad shouted "TIFFANY, IT'S FOR YOU"


Tiffany continued to sit there staring at herself for a few minutes.




Eventually Tiffany stood up and walked to her bedside table and picked up the phone "I got it dad."


She heard the click of the other phone being returned to it's cradle, and Jane asked "You done colour co-ordinating your stake with your outfit yet?"


"I, ... I don't feel like coming tonight" Tiffany finally said.


"Oh, alright, no big, we got another slayer here if you want to take the night off." said Jane.


"Yeah, bye." Tiffany said, she then put the phone back down.




 "Tiff's out, say's she's feeling ill." said Jane as she returned to the living room.


"Okay, I would have preferred to do this with two slayers, but I guess we can cope without her. Now, Amy was directing vampires to go after cops, is she planning on simply killing them all, turning them all, and is Lawndale were she intends to fulfil her ambitions, or is this a diversion for a bigger operation elsewhere?" asked Daria.


"Amy had some moments, but she's not all that. Odds are, this is where she intends to carry out her master plan." said Willow.


"12 tons of ANFO to booby trap a house doesn't sound very covert." said Jane.


"On the other hand, it created such a big crime scene that it would have taken weeks for the police to piece together enough of us to identify us. And even then the council might not have put it down to vampires or any mystical forces, it would have been considered outside their domain. Besides, Osama already congratulated the people that carried out the bombing." said Daria.


"I wonder what would happen if a major bombing occurs and both Al Qaeda AND Aryan Nations started fighting for credit?" asked Jane.


"They'd pick on each other and leave everyone else alone?" asked Willow.


"Yes, because that worked so well in Northern Ireland." commented Daria before continuing "Any other leads, anyone?"


No one added anything.


"Okay then, we need to physically locate Amy and her gang, unfortunately, she's seen everyone of us except Jane, who Drusilla has seen, we don't have anyone we can readily identify as being in her gang." said Daria.


"We have the cops." said Kennedy.


"There's that, Willow, can you hack the police computers and find out how many cops have failed to report in since last night?" asked Daria.




Quinn knocked on the door of the Deckler house and waited.


She and Sandi were seriously concerned about Tiffany.


Tiffany's dad answered.


"Is Tiffany in?" asked Quinn.


"She's in her room, is she alright? Just she seemed kind of, ... different tonight." he said.


"I dunno, I'll ask her." said Quinn.


Quinn and Sandi headed upstairs to Tiffany's room and knocked.


"Yeah?" asked Tiffany from behind the door.


Quinn and Sandi poked their heads through the doorway, seeing Tiffany lying on her bed in camouflage trousers and a black tee shirt "Tiffany, can we talk?"


"Yeah, sure, come on in." she said.




 "I hear you're trying to develop some magical ability." said Kennedy as she and Daria headed down the street. Kennedy was feeling for the presence of a powerful witch, which witches could apparently do. But that had the slight drawback of working both ways, Amy would know one of them was there. So each witch was accompanied by someone who would not trip Amy's senses to maintain surveillance while the witch heads away to phone everyone else to converge.


"Yeah, I've managed to achieve some telekinesis, great for opening doors, but not really that far above your standard muggle." said Daria.


Kennedy giggled at this and said "unfortunately that's a good thing in this instance"


"Yeah, I know. What's your take on the situation with Angel?" asked Daria.


"Well, ... I am fascinated with the idea of a vampire with a soul, before we all went to Sunnydale, they were all evil, now it's just some."


"Whereas my experience ran opposite, I started off with Vampires being like anybody else, to learning that most vampires are missing a soul and their evil comes from that. I found that concept particularly strange since a lot of people with souls are just as evil." said Daria.




 "So, you know anything about that stabbing at the park earlier this evening?" asked Quinn.


"Stabbing? ... no, nothing" said Tiffany.


Quinn and Sandi looked at each other, then Sandi asked "perhaps those bodies were vampires?"


"They'd have turned to dust if they were." said Tiffany.


"Are you on something Tiffany?" asked Quinn.


"No, ... not right now anyway" replied Tiffany.


Tiffany had remained where they had found her, staring at the ceiling looking spacey.


"Excuse us a minute." said Quinn, she then gestured to Sandi to follow her to the floors hallway.


When they closed the door, Tiffany decided she should try to ascertain what they thought her involvement in the deaths was.


"She looked stoned to you Quinn?" asked Sandi.


"Yeah, ... you don't think she's doing meths or something do you?" asked Quinn.


"Well, she has to be doing something." said Sandi.


"What should we do about it?" asked Quinn.


"Call the cops?" suggested Sandi.


"That feels wrong." said Quinn.


"She killed two people, if she doesn't get help, she'll probably do it again." said Sandi.


"I just don't want to do that to her, there's got to be another way." said Quinn.


"Okay, we could wait for her to kill another bunch of people." said Sandi.




Quinn looked at the door again, then said "We could try another form of intervention, but we would need to play it just right. The first thing would be to get her off whatever she's doing, that would mean confining her so she can not access whatever it is she's using" said Quinn.


"Okay, we clean her out, then what?" asked Sandi.


"Well, ... I dunno, but we might be able to come up with something by the time she's clean. What we need to do is get her to want to stay clean, otherwise when we release her, the same thing will happen all over." said Quinn.


"And if we can't think of anything?" asked Sandi.


"Then we'll hand her over to the police, I just don't like the way the police handle drug users, they go over the top and make things worse." said Quinn.


Sandi thought about that last point and said "Okay, we owe her to at least try, but how do you propose to capture her? She's super strong."


"Well, I suppose we'll have to spike her drink tomorrow, figure out an excuse for her being absent from school and home that will hold for a couple of weeks. We'll need a place we can take her." said Quinn.


"Okay, how about Jane's place?" suggested Sandi.


"Good call, we should head over there and set it up." said Quinn.


They headed off.




Tiffany ran as fast as she could, she had to avoid capture.


She headed out of town into the forest that surrounded Lawndale, figuring that anywhere inside Lawndale would get her captured.


Quinn and Sandi want to turn her in.


They should.


Yeah, that's right, Tiffany should go down for it.


And more, 'cause jail alone, ... it's not like she'd be the one getting her head kicked in, is it.


She crossed a road and headed into the woods.




 "WHAT THE FUCK? ... Ohhhh, that bitch"


All the vampires looked at Amy.


"Right, you lot, get out there, turn right, tear that witch to shreds."


The vamps just stared at her.




They did as instructed.




Kennedy headed off to make the call as Daria headed on to a front yard across the street to watch the house.


"KENNEDY! GORILLA! 6 O'CLOCK!" shouted Daria.


Kennedy turned to see about 20 vamps leaving the house and heading for her, some headed to Daria who had pulled an Uzi ... or similar machine gun, Kennedy wasn't sure, just it was a machinegun pistol of some kind.


Anyway, she pulled her stake and engaged as Daria unloaded her first clip into the vampires.


Kennedy didn't mention how that wouldn't keep, since A: Daria knew that, and B: kind of busy, but at the very least Daria would ease both their workloads.


Daria got through her second clip and then started using her sawn off to decapitate the vamps crowding around Kennedy, the last three eventually fucked off. Daria then pulled a stake herself and started killing the vamps she had shot earlier.


Kennedy joined her.


But then Amy emerged from the house and forced them onto the ground as some more vampires came out behind her and headed to Kennedy and Daria.


"You two just bought yourselves a bargain deal on pain." she said, throwing so much force at them that they could feel their hips, rib cages, and skulls start to flex.


An arrow took out one of the vamps, and Amy looked around, she then stopped what she was doing and disappeared from view.


Daria and Kennedy sat up.


Amanda and Jane (with a bow and quiver) were coming from one direction, and Willow was coming from another.


"You two okay?" asked Willow.


"Well, I was concerned I was overweight for a few seconds, but that feeling's gone now." said Daria.


"That house over there." said Kennedy.


They all got up and headed to it.




Amy called Drusilla and told her to get everyone out, and call her once they establish a new base. Then she headed off in search of a warlock, because apparently the prank on that slayer hadn't slowed them down at all.


She wandered the back streets in search of the local dealers place. She didn't know if she'd still have her first army when she was done taking Willow out of the picture, but she should still have her second army. The vampires on the thin blue line had all reported in, so- "AHA! GOTCHA!" she marched straight through the door, and ended up in a, ...


"Whoa, ... " Amy was expecting a dank looking flat, but this looked more upscale.


"You a customer, right?"


She turned to one of the goons in the big, white polished marble foyer with the twin staircases left and right, and various pictures of naked girls with lightning coming from their fingertips in expensive looking frames on the walls.


"Yeah, if you do dark magics" said Amy.


"Right, straight through there, cash only" said the goon.




The witches, ensouled vamp, slayer and watcher got another 8 vampires before they heard sirens.


Willow threw a translucent violet ball of energy at one of the fleeing vampires before doing a weather spell to create a load of fog.


Then they headed across the fence the vampires had crossed and headed back to base.


"What was that thing you threw at that vamp?" asked Daria.


"A transmutation spell, added two neutrons to every atom under the impact site, shouldn't have any trouble finding them now." said Willow.


"Neither will the atomic energy authority." said Daria.




Sandi and Quinn arrived at Jane's house.


Quinn knocked.


They waited.


"So, think we can trust Jane to go along with this?" asked Sandi.


"What do you, ... oh, ... well, I think it might patch things up between those two" said Quinn.


They saw Jane, Willow, Joy, Amanda and another girl enter the front yard.


"Quinn, Sandi." greeted Jane.


"Jane, we need to talk to you about something." said Quinn.


"Alright" they all entered "but make it quick, we're kind of in the middle of something." said Jane.


"It's about Tiffany." said Quinn.


"What about her?" asked Jane.


"She's, ... earlier this evening, two people were killed, we think it was done by Tiffany, and when we visited her later, we found her to be, ... she looked like she was on something" said Quinn.


"What?" asked Joy.


"I don't know who else to propose this to, but we don't want to get the police involved, and I know you two have a dispute-" said Sandi.


But Jane interrupted "Dispute's over, apparently I'm only good because my mom put my soul back in me. If she hadn't done that, I'd be out killing people, and what do you mean she killed two people?"


"Two bodies found at the edge of the park had been stabbed with a big round spike of some kind, y'know, like a stake?" said Quinn.


"Shit almighty, she accidentally, ... Jane-" started Joy.


But Jane said "On it" as she picked up the living room phone.


"This 'on drugs' look you said she had, was it by any chance, an unfocussed stare and 'slightly stoned' speech pattern?" asked Joy.


"Well, yes, like that" said Quinn.


"She was in shock, I mean, ... " said Willow.


"I hope she's not doing something-" started Joy.


But was interrupted by Jane saying "She's not there."


"Okay, we can't look for her and attack a nest of vampires with Amy Madison covering them, ... Right, vamps first, Tiff later, Jane, grab your flamethrower, then everyone pile into my car, I'll grab some extra ammo." Joy said, heading to the basement.


Sandi and Quinn looked around them as the remaining girls headed outside.




Willow and the other girl looked at them, but couldn't answer, so they headed back out.


Joy came up to them holding some sort of harness with a sawn off shotgun holster, and a load of shotgun rounds in loops around the waist and shoulder straps. She said "Sandi, Quinn, you two have known Tiffany much longer than any of us here, and since you two are not trained combatants, you two are the only people I can task with this. I want you to find Tiffany, assess her condition, stay with her, try to get her to come here, do not do anything that could alarm her. She ran away without coming here, she must think we all hate her."


"She ran away after we were there." said Quinn.


"We were discussing what to do about her drug habit, ... Oh hell, what if she overheard?" asked Sandi.


"You two are still the best people to look for her, Sandi, either you or Quinn should take this, high explosive rounds. Any vamps approach you, shoot them in the neck, that'll decapitate them, they'll turn to dust." Daria said, handing Sandi the harness.


Sandi took it and held it saying "Explosive rounds? What if we get picked up?" asked Sandi.


Joy looked around, then she took off her coat, revealing several clips and a machine pistol stuffed in the waistband of her trousers. She handed Sandi her cardigan, and put her coat back on saying "That should go with one of your current ensembles, now go"


Sandi and Quinn looked at each other, then Sandi put on the harness followed by the cardigan, they then headed out, Daria waited for Jane to emerge from upstairs with her flamethrower.




"Television's all spotty" said one vampire.


"I think it's pretty" said Drusilla.


Shaun looked at it, saw a whole load of spots flashing all over the screen, spaced approximately 15mm apart. He said "Television's not on, move around to the side"


The vampire did so, and fewer dots appeared.


"You're radioactive, those dots are the result of gamma photons striking the phosphor dots on the screen, you feed off someone from Chernobyl or something?"


"How should I know?" asked the vamp.


"No, that's got to be hundreds of curies there, that's real fresh, whatever's in you, and you were turned within the last few weeks?" Shaun asked.


"That's right" said the vamp.


Amy appeared in the room.


"Boss, this guy's radioactive, it's like he got hit with a neutron bomb or something" said Shaun.


"What?" replied Amy.


"I'm, like, Chernobyl, or, ... what's going on?" he asked.


"Probably the super friends." said Amy, thinking, then she said "Alright, you come with me, they haven't located us yet, and I have a gift for Willow."


"I guess vamps are immune to radiation, or this guy would be a puddle about now, but what about you boss?" asked Shaun.


"I got better endurance than normal humans, just stay here." said Amy, as she headed out with her radioactive vampire.




 "I think I found them, continue this way." said Willow, pointing at their 12 O'clock.


Daria continued onwards.


"Okay, I feel her, she's, ... crap, she must be in flight or something." said Willow.


"What? Like on a broom?" asked Jane, earning a smack on the back of the head from Kennedy, Jane then said "Jesus, take a joke."


"Right" said Willow, then she said "when we get some Pizza, we need to remember not to order any garlic bread."


The three witches giggled and Jane flipped them all off.


"Stop, right there." said Willow.


"That house?" asked Daria pointing at a well lit house.


"Yeah." said Willow.


"Okay, Kennedy, Willow, you two will enter the house and verify that we have in fact found the nest, Jane and I will cover both sides of the house make sure no one leaves." said Daria, handing Willow the Geiger counter.


They all deployed as ordered, Jane's flamethrower ready for use.


Willow and Kennedy entered through the front. Willow using telekinesis to open the door, Willow established the radioactive vampire was in the basement, and that the house owners where still alive (the effect that stops vampires from entering dwelling spaces without permission could be detected by some witches).


Kennedy went one way, Willow the other. They didn't consider it necessary for anyone to watch the stairs since Daria and Jane would enforce the killing zone outside.


The house was almost pristine, lived in, but by a family, not by a bunch of vampires.


Willow and Kennedy met around the back and they entered the basement.


Kennedy somersaulted down the stairs and found the vampire with the houses occupants, the houses occupants were tied up with ductape to four camping chairs, husband, wife, two daughters (8 and 12 yo approximately).


"Willow, hold your position" said Kennedy before going over to them, The vampire pulled a revolver and aimed it at one of the girls, that caused Kennedy to stop.


"Smart girl" said the vampire.


"Smarter than you" said Kennedy, she then chanted something and the room was filled with a brilliant white light, this caused the vampire to react by closing his eyes, his next feeling was one of getting a stake thrown through his heart.


"Kennedy?" shouted Willow.


Kennedy returned to the stairs and looked up at Willow, whose irises were black. As was her hair, and the now visible veins on her face, there was also a load of weird black and violet arcs emanating off of her.


Also, the presence of Amy was gone.


"Shit, ... right, hang on" Kennedy pulled a knife and used it to free the man. She then gave him the knife so he could free the rest of his family and headed up to tend to Willow "Okay, I want to get you outside now, Okay?" asked Kennedy.


"Okay, okay, I can do that." said Willow, and they went out the back, where Jane was 3 metres from the left rear corner of the house. Kennedy then said "it was a trap, just the radioactive vampire, and Amy's gone"




 "Right" Jane left to tell Daria.


"I, ... I can't, ... I, ... ... " Willow was struggling to focus herself.


Kennedy was unsure what to do.


Jane, Daria, and Amanda arrived in the back yard and Amanda walked over to Willow, she asked "What happened?"


"I didn't see it, when I went to help that family in the basement, something happened, then I felt Amy leave" said Kennedy.


"It was her, it was Amy." said Willow.


Amanda approached Willow and placed a hand on her back, chanting something.


Everyone watched in silence as Amanda tended to Willow.


Amanda then asked "better?"


"Yeah, thanks." said Willow.


"That case, we need to get going, you need to take the rest of the night off Willow?" asked Daria.


"Yes, that would probably be wise." said Willow, still feeling a little weird.


"Right, let's go." said Daria.


"Wait, vampire dust." said Kennedy heading back into the house.


She looked through the cupboards and found a plastic food container. She took that to the basement squeezing past the people coming out of it. She then picked up the dust telekinetically and moved it to the container.


She then headed back up stairs where Daria was checking the people for radiation.


"They're clean." said Daria.


"What are you talking about?" asked the man.


"We made the vampire radioactive hoping it would lead us to his nest, it instead came here, you wouldn't happen to have seen a woman with brown hair accompanying the vampire, would you?"


"Yes, she materialised behind me when I answered the door and made me invite the guy in, then they forced us all into the basement. He stayed, she disappeared, what's this about the vampire being radioactive?"


Daria pointed her Geiger counter at the container in Kennedy's hand, it was chucking out lots of curies "Kennedy, two things. One, hold that thing telekinetically or your hand will melt. Two, get that out of here, now"


"Right" said Kennedy, she held the tub telekinetically and headed outside.


"I don't know how long you were with the vampire, but I suggest you all take the day off, at worst, you'll all feel sore for a while. Increase your intake of foods known to reduce the possibility of the onset of cancer, consult your doctor if you have any doubts, now I gotta go" Daria then left.


The family members looked at each other in a state of confusion.




Tiffany heard some activity up ahead, she briefly wondered weather she wanted to investigate or move on.


She decided to investigate, not like she wanted to be alone with her thoughts in their current genre.




 "We really shouldn't be out here" said Sandi.


Quinn and Sandi had been told by passers by that they saw an Asian girl in camouflage fatigues run into the woods, so that was where they were. Quinn had luckily brought a small flashlight.


"We got protection" said Quinn.


"Sure, if the vamps attack in groups of or less than two spaced about 15 seconds apart" said Sandi.


"I doubt Tiffany would want to approach any vampires if what Joy said was true, that was the reason she accidentally killed two people" said Quinn.


"Quinn, if Tiffany doesn't want to be found, and she's in the woods, presumably trained to hide, what possible chance do we have of finding her?" asked Sandi.


"I don't know, ... I guess we should still try anyway." said Quinn.




Tiffany saw two flaming torches behind a bush, she approached the clearing.


The luminescence of the torches didn't light up much more than approximately 1m radius around the carriers, who were, ... dressed in white robes with pointy hats and with a circle-cross-blood drop emblem on the breast.


'Aren't there any normal people camping out in the woods?' Tiffany thought.


She also noticed the vague shapes of other Klansmen in an arc at the other side of the clearing and the silhouette of a crucifix about 1/3rd the way in from her.


The torches reached the base of the cross, and suddenly the lack of light was alarmingly reduced, and Tiffany was fairly certain that if any of them looked, they could- one of the torch bearers looked right at her.


She froze.


Maybe he wasn't seeing her, and if she stayed still long enough- he pulled a berretta and aimed it at her shouting "DON'T EVEN THINK OF MOVING!"


Tiffany more than thought about it.


One back flip away from the bush prompted a shot, which she felt sting the underside of her left breast, the shockwave dropped below a painful level about halfway up. She ignored the injury, anticipating possibly getting dead if she stopped, and as soon as she was on her feet again, she headed back the way she had come at flat out buster speed. The second shot missed, the third shot struck her left buttock just behind the joint, causing her to yelp, but she was still able to move.


'Useful thing adrenaline' she thought as the forth and fifth shots sounded.




 "Oh-crap-oh-crap-oh-crap-oh-crap" muttered Sandi as they heard shots from up ahead of them.


Quinn shone her flashlight towards the origin of the shots, but Sandi grabbed it off her, saying "YOU FUCKING INSANE OR SOMETHING?" as she turned it off.


"Sorry, just wondering where the shots are coming from."


They saw flashlights in the distance.


"What do we do?" asked Quinn.


"You're asking ME???"


"FOUND HER!" shouted someone, then there were more shots.


"Found her? I hope that's not Tiffany they're after" said Quinn.




 "You okay now Willow?" asked Daria.


"Yeah, I'm getting better." said Willow, she was sat on the sofa, rocking back and forth, her eyes still black, but her hair was returning to it's proper colour.


"Okay, ... " Daria walked off to the others and said "I'm considering calling a halt to the search. We're two people down, Amy knows we're after her and will probably avoid the nest from now on. We should instead concentrate on any cops that have been turned into vampires. We have the list, we take them out, it'll disrupt Amy's plans." said Daria.


"Unless the police vampires are a diversion." said Kennedy.


"Even if that is the case, it won't be very effective. There are only five, possibly six of us here, not a big piece of our force. They will be pinned down to their homes during the day. As for Amy, we need to prepare our own battlefield and drag her to it." said Daria.


"Okay, but what about Tiffany?" asked Kennedy.




Tiffany could feel the pain from her gunshot wounds now.


On the plus side, there were now more reasons not to move than to move, but but her ass and tit really hurt. She was sure that the shot to her ass bone had done something. She couldn't be sure what, only that she couldn't imagine an impact of that kind of energy being so benign as to not at least chip off fragments of bone.


Fortunately, she was able to get far enough out of sight of them to climb a really tall tree, and it was sufficiently leafy and knarled to hide her.


She was seeing Klansmen moving around down there looking for her.


Hopefully they would break off soon, but considering that someone would have to be incredibly sad to join one of these genocidal organisations to begin with, it looked more like she would be up that tree all night, possibly through a large portion of the day.


She would just have to wait as long as it took.




Sandi pulled her cell phone and dialled Jane's place.


There had been a load of noise and flashlights up ahead, but no gunshots for a while.


"Base of Lane." responded Jane.


Sandi whispered "Jane, it's Sandi, we followed some leads and we're in the forest just north west of town. We think Tiffany's here somewhere, we also think that she's being chased by an armed mob, there were shots, and people with flashlights are still moving around. They haven't found who they are looking for-" suddenly there was a bright light in their faces and someone saying "let's see those hands"


Sandi and Quinn raised their hands, looking slightly away from the flashlight and squinting their eyes.


"Identify yourselves" asked the stranger.


"You first." said Quinn.


"Sandi Griffin and Quinn Morgendorffer" Sandi quickly said, indicating which was which, hoping to defuse the situation.


"What are you doing here?"


"We're looking for a friend," Sandi said, glancing around, one of the people off to the side was dressed in a white robe and pointy hat, Sandi then added "who is a blonde cheer leader with blue eyes who will one day bring great glory to the Aryan race." to hopefully further placate the genocidal psychopaths.


Someone then shouted "FOUND HER!"




Tiffany shielded her face with her hands as a number of flashlights were pointed at her.


She had seen one focus on the ground near the tree, then on the tree itself, so she must have been dripping enough blood to leave a trail, even if not enough for her to notice a drop in blood pressure.


Vampires, of course, would have found the tree a lot faster, but vampires she could deal with.


Racist goons with semiautomatic firearms, on the other hand, ...


"Get down here." one of them said.


Tiffany hesitated, trying to think of some way she could possibly get out of this alive. They were too widely spread for her to win a hand to hand engagement.


Simultaneously, there was another gunshot, and an intense pain in her left ankle. The movement in response caused her to slip off the branch. She bounced awkwardly off two other branches on the way down, landing on her ass. The back of her head struck the ground real hard, and the whole area felt cold.


Her left ankle was numb. She could feel pressure on it when she let the weight of her leg rest on it. She imagined the whole area looked like burger meat.


Klansmen with flashlights and pistols of various descriptions crowded around her.


There was no way she was getting out of this alive.


Even if Daria and Jane were looking for her, they'd have to be insane to attempt to intervene.


Would they be that broken up about it?


She had run Jane out of town before establishing Jane had a soul all along, and she had made a really crap first impression on Daria with that interrogation, which, let's face it, served absolutely no purpose. Chasing that one vampire, she had probably let another 5 pig out on innocent people.


Plus the unnecessary torture had almost gotten Faith killed, and could have consequently killed all life on earth.


And, oh yes: Those two people in the park.


Not to mention those drugs she did to hide from reality.


She was never a good slayer, she had probably done more harm than good.


"Yeah, go on then, not like I'm good for humanity." she said.


"That'll happen, just, you interrupted our ceremony, so we feel obligated to give you a proper send off." said one of them.


There was another shot, her right hand felt like someone had driven a stake through it, Tiffany barely responded, not even moving her hand.


Two more shots, her other hand, and her right foot.


Someone stepped on her left ankle, that caused Tiffany to gasp, but she was too depressed to cry out.


There was another shot to her right arm and left leg, just above the ankle and wrist joints.


"What's that?" asked one of the Klansmen, sounding highly alarmed.


"Is that a twister?" asked another.


"No fucking way, we don't get twisters that far north." said another.


"There's another." said another Klansman.


Then there were screams and thuds.


Tiffany had no Idea what was going on, but felt an enormous disinterest in it.


She kept her eyes closed as all the mayhem occurred around her.


Then she felt something touch her wrists.


Her wrists began to feel better.


She opened her eyes.


She saw, ...


"Willow?" she asked.


"Yes, I'm here, you're safe now." She moved to Tiffany's ankles and did the same thing.


Tiffany checked her hands, holding them in front of her face and flexing the fingers.


When Willow stood up again, Tiffany decided to get up.


Her ankles were also completely healed.


Willow then went to work on her injured breast and buttock.


Tiffany looked around at all the dead Klansmen.


"So, I guess you got here this evening?" said Tiffany.


"Yeah, Amy and me go back: used to be friends at one point, then she turned evil, tried to make me evil too. Then hit me with this guilt trip spell, and now she's moved onto some sort of big bad scheme."


Tiffany suddenly noticed that they were at the Lane house, and she felt her BP crash, she promptly collapsed.


"Tiffany?" Daria approached.


"Hi Daria, sorry about bunking off earlier." said Tiffany.


"Sandi called and said you were being chased by the Ku Klux Klan." said Daria.


"Yeah, I got shot a bunch of times by them too, but Willow took them out and healed me." Tiffany said as she sat up.


"Uhhh, she killed them?" asked Kennedy.


"Yeah, what I did was I conjured some tornadoes and golf ball sized hailstones, like a bunch of miniguns, except they shot ice instead of lead." said Willow, feeling kind of proud.


"Right, but now that's done, you'll need to stop for the rest of the night." said Daria.


"I know, I know, I gotta come back now." said Willow as she sat down.


"We're not supposed to kill humans though." said Kennedy.


"Neither are other humans, sounds like Willow used reasonable force, what do you think me and Jane would have had to do if we got there first?" asked Daria.


"Hmm" Jane seemed to lose herself in thought at the idea of dousing a load of genocidal fuckheads in gasoline and watching them slowly die from 3rd degree burns.


"Hang on, SANDI said I was being chased by the Ku Klux Klan?" asked Tiffany.


"Shit, that's right, where are they?" asked Daria.




The Klansmen, now in plain clothes, were driving Sandi and Quinn back to town.


They hadn't said a word except to feign agreement with them about the need to wipe out every non-Aryan race and every sexual minority off the face of the earth.


"Stop, that's my house." said Sandi.


The car pulled up to the kerb, and the two girls got out.


"Thanks for the lift." said Sandi.


"No problem." said the driver.


"Look after yourselves." said another, they all gave the girls a Nazi salute, which the girls returned.


They then drove off.


The girls slowly walking to the house, waving and smiling to them, counting the seconds until the cone heads were out of sight. Then they slouched forward, Quinn saying "Fucking hell, now I know how the Swiss feel."


Sandi saying "Yeah, I need a shower, a long, ice cold shower, lasting a couple of, like, ... decades."


Sandi opened the door and the girls entered.


Sandi decided to call Jane's place on her cell phone as they headed up to Sandi's room. Sandi then told Quinn to phone her place, let her mother know she was sleeping over.




 "Lane the not lame." said Jane as she picked up the phone.


"Sandi here, me and Quinn returned home, we don't know what happened with Tiffany, we got picked up by some Klansmen who gave us a lift to my place."


"Oh, Tiffany's back, Willow sort of, ... teleported over there, killed the Klansmen, healed Tiffany, and teleported her back." said Jane.


"Ah, right, okay then, we done for the night?" asked Sandi.


"Yeah, thanks." said Jane.


"Good, 'cause pretending to be racists to avoid having the ever holy crap beat out of us, ... yuck" said Sandi before hanging up.


Jane returned to the lounge and said "Sandi and Quinn are safe, and they weren't happy at having to pretend to be 'one of them' to get home safely"


"Damn, ... I knew they could encounter some dangerous characters, but I didn't think there were any Klansmen this far north." said Daria.


"So, even running away, I still manage to hurt people." said Tiffany.


"Tiff, those bodies recovered from the park, they were at least 8 hours dead when they were found." said Daria.


"They were? ... Then what were they?" asked Tiffany.


"Zombies. Must have been Amy reanimating the empty wrappers of a couple of her vampire's meals." said Daria.


"Amy, ... I should have been helping." said Tiffany.


"Yes, ... but I suppose I and those before me dropped the ball by not discussing the possibility of accidentally killing non-combatants, in spite of it happening enough times to warrant it, most recent event prior to tonight being Faith's killing of Sunnydale's deputy mayor." said Daria.


"Faith never mentioned that to me." said Tiffany.


"Not surprised, wasn't her proudest moment, set off a chain of bad decisions culminating in her attempt to get Angel to kill her." said Daria.


"She did mention torturing Wesley in order to piss off Angel." said Tiffany.


"She then spent some time in Jail, ... Damn. ... Tiffany, did anyone see you leave the location where the bodies were found?" asked Daria.


"There's Andrea." said Tiffany.


"Right, we'd better check the local news stations." said Daria.


"We should probably talk to Andrea." said Jane.


"And make us look evil, and probably get the police to look at us very closely? No, we do that, we get the police up our ass, we don't, Tiffany can hide here if a warrant is issued." said Daria.


"So what do we do then?" asked Jane.


"We need to take out any vampire cops, we should be able to do that tomorrow. Kennedy and I will do that, as for Amy, I'm not really sure what we can do, we might end up calling her out as a result of our dusting her vampire cops" said Daria.


"That would be a problem with Willow out." said Kennedy.


"Willow? That magic Amy used on you, is that the same stuff Rack was dealing?" asked Jane.


"Yes" said Willow.


"How'd Amy handle it without getting hooked? I mean, she wants to rule the planet, she can't do it while hooked, can she?" asked Jane.


"Well, we don't know for sure what she's after. But yeah, succumbing to an addictive substance or energy would not be helpful." said Daria.


"When you get to a sufficient skill level, you can compartmentalize the energy and carry it around until you decide to put it somewhere." said Willow.


"Any of you able to do that?" asked Daria of all three witches.


"I can." said Amanda.


"What about those portal thingies, like the one that girl almost got sucked through?" asked Kennedy.


"That was Winifred, if you mean that Sick Sad World with the stage and the extra dimensional tentacles" said Daria.


"Oh, ... well, what of it?" Kennedy asked again.




Winifred was showing her parents around her lab when the phone rang.


"Excuse me" she said, before going to her desk and picking it up "practical sciences"


"There's a 'Joy Merryweather' calling for you from Lawndale." said Harmony.


"I don't know a Joy Merryweather." said Winifred.


"Okay, you want to talk to her anyway?" asked Harmony.


"Yeah, put her through." said Winifred.


"Fred?" asked the familiar voice.


"Daria?" asked Winifred.


"Nope, just her doppelganger." replied Joy.




"Those are pretty." said Drusilla, as she moved her hand towards the silver coated plastic discs.


Shaun grabbed her wrist to stop her touching the discs and said "they also need to be sterile for this to work."


The two vampires had basically walked into Lawndale College and killed everyone in the various workshops they now used.


"Right, they are the guts of your baby."


"Making me hungry."


"Hmmmm, I'll find some lovely lambs." said Drusilla as she started off.


"As long as they're human lambs."


Amy materialised in front of Drusilla and asked "what have you two been doing?"


Shaun looked over his shoulder and said "making a weapon."


"Out of bits of plastic and, ... other bits of crap?" asked Amy.


"Yeah, out of bits and plastic and other bits of crap arranged in a way that causes lots of damage." said Shaun.


"Lots of damage? ... Okay, how exactly will this cause lots of damage?"


"By exploding." said Shaun.


Amy rolled her eyes.


"And, in the process, committing around 0.2% of it's mass to energy." he continued.


Amy blinked a couple of times and said "mass to energy, ... as in, ... you making antimatter?"


"No, antimatter is less stable than magic, no. This will use lithium hydride. It'll fuse lithium 7 with hydrogen, starting it electrically. I know your primary plan was to be a little more subtle, but you might need a plan B with a little more force, especially if the government becomes aware of the situation and comes after us with mechanised and air forces. I can get my prototype to work, we can take over a factory, order in the right machines, start mass production, what do you reckon?" asked Shaun.


"I reckon I should have been consulted before you started on this, but I see no reason to stop you. So keep at it, and let me know when you are ready to test your prototype." Amy said, she then dematerialised.


"I would so love to know the physics that allows magic to work." said Shaun as he returned to his task.




Daria opened the front door of their next address and entered, Amanda having confirmed that the householder was dead.


There were some bizarre effects of the mystical laws of the universe. Vampires can not enter a dwelling without the dwellers permission, that was what the witches were detecting.


Kennedy was working addresses on the other side of town, and Willow was out of the game in order to come off the dark magics Amy had thrown at her. And Tiffany needed to be in school or her parents would start to get even more antsy then they were when she had apparently climbed out her bedroom window without hearing of anything being wrong.


As for the deaths of the Klansmen, it looked like the police were having serious trouble figuring out what had caused it. They hadn't released anything, beyond a shooting involving upwards of 12 people.


No ballistics to match to anything else, but there might be the possibility that Tiffany's footprints could be matched to those found at the dump site of the bodies. And the projectiles in the ground under where she had fallen and her blood prints in the ground would mean that Tiffany's DNA would be on CODIS by now.


But they were looking for a corpse most likely, or someone with a number of gunshot wounds to their extremities.


She entered the vampire's bedroom and placed the crucifix on the vampires shoulder.


The skin underneath smoked and the vampire woke up.


At this point Daria staked him.


She then left the room.


Her shoes had been modified by the addition of a layer of latex paint to the soles, she would peel those off and incinerate them later.


So far, Amy hadn't shown herself, but Daria wasn't going to discount that from happening. If she did, then Amanda would have a chance. Kennedy would probably get her ass kicked, better than Daria she may be, but she's still new to this. Right now, Amanda was their most powerful witch.




Quinn and Sandi sat next to Tiffany in class as they normally did. Stacy's (Illyria's actually, but anyway) seat had not been filled since she apparently stayed in LA to fight Wolfram and Hart (Which Daria had described as a multidimensional entity out to corrupt the world).


Sandi had dropped by Jane's house to return the sawn off shotgun and ammunition to Joy Merryweather. They met Tiffany there, and Tiffany said she was all right, but her cheer seemed fake.


As class ended, they headed out to the lunch room and they met Andrea.


"Hi Tiffany, can we talk?" asked Andrea.


"Sure" said Tiffany, at the same time Sandi said "No".


The two girls looked at each other.


Quinn said "trying to lose the snobbish personas, remember?"


"Alone, or with my, ... " friends? ... Tiffany wasn't sure of her status with them right now.


"Err, ... your call I guess" said Andrea.


"We know what happened last night." said Quinn, guessing what she wanted to talk about.


"Okay." said Tiffany, nodding towards the cafeteria.




"After you saved me from those, ... " said Andrea, wondering what the creatures actually were.


"Vampires." said Tiffany.


"Vampires, and we separated, I encountered two bodies and some cops. I told them I didn't see anyone leaving the scene when they asked. I was wondering, did you, ... I mean, I understand it was, like an accident or something. ... It was an accident, right?" asked Andrea.


Tiffany seemed to go pale, even though she knew full well what Andrea was going to talk about. Tiffany finally said "Yes and no, ... I thought they were vampires, I staked them, then I realised they weren't. But it turns out that they were zombies, sent by some witch to fuck with my head, and it's working."


"Zombies? Wouldn't those have been out to eat someone's brains?" asked Andrea.


"No, zombies are remote control corpses, they only eat brains if their zombie master tells them to. In this case, they were told to come at me and lie down when staked." said Tiffany.


"Right, ... there's something going down, isn't there?" asked Andrea.


"Yeah, the witch that reanimated the corpses, she's trying to build an empire. She's building an army of vampires." said Tiffany.


"Be a very nocturnal empire, ... the sunlight cliché is true, right?" asked Andrea.


"Yep, as is holy water, religious symbol, stake, reflections, and invite." said Tiffany.


"Right, ... That librarian, looks a lot like Daria." said Andrea.


"Yes she does." said Tiffany.


No one said anything for a while.


Andrea then said "Anyway, thanks for saving me." and got up and left.




"Wolfram and Hart, Angel speaking." answered Angel.


"Hi, I'm Joy Merryweather, Tiffany Deckler's watcher, I was wondering if you could spare Illyria for a couple of days, possibly a week?" asked a familiar voice.


"Joy Merryweather? ... You want Illyria?" asked Angel.


"Yeah, is that a problem?" asked Joy.


"No problem, I'll send her over to you" said Angel, happy to have the demon off his hands.




Amy materialised in the room and walked over to the bed. She lifted the quilt and nodded at the dust, getting more and more annoyed as this was the 10th vampire cop she had found dusted. Willow and the fucking slayers were annihilating her fucking army!


Who else would it be?


"Of course, you realise, that this means war." she said, as she dematerialised.




"Oh, hey boss, we're about to test the prototype." said Shaun.


"Good, because we're going to need your wonder weapons after all." said Amy.


"Something happened?" asked Shaun.


"Yeah, Superfriends took out our share of the thin blue line, and I want to blow them up." said Amy.


"Okay" he turned to one of his assistants and said "pack up the moulds. If we're successful, we're going to draw a lot of attention."




"You're heading to Lawndale?" asked Spike as he and Winifred approached the elevator Illyria was entering.


"I am." she replied.


"Then come with me, looks like trouble's brewing." he entered the elevator with her and her armed escort.


The doors closed and Illyria asked "what is your mission?"


Spike answered "We're to investigate an EMP that happened there, ... Fred?"


"The pattern didn't look mystical, and it happened on a college campus the same time as an explosion. No radioactivity has been detected, so I've been tasked with investigating the incident." said Winifred.


"Radioactivity, I understand that to be the name you give to the occurrence of highly ionizing radiation. What is this EMP you speak of?" asked Illyria.


"Electromagnetic pulse, it accompanies high energy explosions such as those caused by nuclear weapons, except this explosion was well below the minimum I would have expected. Stuff this small, it's usually something mystical" said Winifred.


"Perhaps Joy Merryweather will know something." said Illyria.


"Excuse me, Joy Merryweather?" asked Spike.


"Yes, ... I detect amusement from you, why is this?" asked Illyria.




Willow flicked through the various channels trying to find something to distract her from her magical cravings, when Jane walked through.


"How's it going there." asked Jane.


"Quite badly, I can't find anything on. And I feel like I'm going to go nuts." Said Willow.


"Cravings, tell me about it" said Jane as she sat next to Willow.


"Who sired you anyway?"




"Turned you into a vampire" clarified Willow.


"Oh, this guy I met, brought him home, fucked him. We drank each others blood, just seemed like a fun thing to do. Then I woke up with haemoglobin cravings and no reflection, and that's one of the things that's gotten Daria excited." Said Jane.


"She's a Science nerd?" asked Willow.


"History, but her interests are well rounded. ... In academia anyway" said Jane.


"And you seem to live for art." Said Willow.


"I'm thinking of getting into making swords, now that they are the tools of our trade. I'm fascinated with the manufacturing techniques for swords, I wanna see if it's possible to apply them to those Klingon swords" said Jane.


"Fold or twist?"


"I think Fold would be better for them, since it would make it easier to forge weld the components together" said Jane.


"Huh?" asked Willow.


"Well, the-" started Jane.


But Willow interrupted with "No, Amy, she's here." there was a noise downstairs.


Willow teleported out of the room.


Jane ran to the source of the noise.




Willow materialised at the same time Amy disappeared to find Daria unconscious.


Willow checked Daria's life signs. She was extremely annoyed at having to use her still tainted magic, but she used it to wake Daria.


"Willow?" asked Daria.


Jane then entered the basement.


Willow helped Daria to her feet.


"Daria? What happened?" asked Willow.


"Amy, she 'ported in with some metallic cylinder and knocked me out" said Daria.


"This metallic cylinder, what did it look like?" asked Willow.


Daria pointed to a metallic cylinder on the pottery turntable and said "like that."


There was a knock on the door.


It occurred to Willow that the device could be some kind of bomb, so she placed a shield around it and said "You two get out, I'll see if I can defuse this"


Willow started approaching the device when it exploded within the shield.


There was no report because of the shield, but it was bright, and hot, and there was a crackling noise. Willow had to put her hand in front of her eyes as she looked for a welding mask, but suddenly realised she was on fire, so she first teleported the shield and its contents from this dimension then she put a shield over herself to kill the flames.


She heard a hissing noise, but was unable to see. She healed her eyes first and saw the room was black except for the dull red of the pottery table and some glowing embers on the rafters immediately above the table.


Daria produced and activated a flashlight and Jane went to the consumer unit. Jane was unable to get the main switch to latch, she said "Someone unplug the turntable"


Willow did this telekinetically and Jane restored power to the house.


Amanda came down the stairs and looked at the remains of the turntable and fumed "Amy did this?"


"Yep" said Daria.


"Okay, that case, she's dead every way possible." said Amanda.


The Willow turned to her and Amanda immediately set about healing Willow. She separated the clothes from the flesh underneath and reduced the damage to 1st degree burns, but she said "I keep doing this I won't have much left for Amy."


"I can do the rest." said Willow.


They then left the basement.


"What was that thing?" asked Jane.


"Any mystical vibes from it?" asked Daria.


"No." said Willow.


"Then my guess would be a nuke." said Daria.


"That was too small to be a nuke." said Willow.


"There was too much energy for it to be chemical, all that heat coming off it. Besides, look at your clothes"


Both Jane and Daria's clothes had been bleached where they had been exposed to the light. Willow's had been burnt off around the front, which would look sexy if it weren't for all the burns.


"Ultra violet, ... how come I'm not a pile of dust?" asked Jane.


"Sun has different mystical properties to nuclear weapons." said Daria.


Tiffany and Kennedy entered from the back of the house. Kennedy took one look at Willow and asked "what's going on?"


"Amy, tried to nuke us, Willow got badly burned, we'll need to get those looked at." said Daria.


"No, I can heal the burns myself, just get that bitch will you?" said Willow, as she accepted a towel from Amanda to cover the areas where her clothes got burned off.


"Sure thing Willow." said Daria, heading back to the basement.


Trent entered the room with Spike, Winifred and Illyria.


"Red? What happened?" asked Spike.


"A nuke, apparently." said Willow.


"When?" asked Winifred.


"Just now in the basement." said Willow.


"But, the house and the neighbours houses are still here." said Winifred.


"I used a shielding spell to contain it, then it went off. It was the size of a 440ml can of beer."


"That's too small for a nuclear weapon." said Winifred.


"No it is not." said Illyria.


"Did they even have nuclear physics in your day?" asked Spike.


"In order to cause enough neutrons to hit the fuel nuclei, you need enough of them in a tight enough space to-" started Winifred.


But Illyria interrupted with "The process you are referring to is nuclear fission, it uses elements heavier than Iron that release energy when split"


"So the device we're looking for uses fusion?" asked Daria as she emerged from the basement, putting her jacket over her weapons harness.


"Daria?" asked Winifred.


"No, Joy Merryweather." said Daria.


"No, Daria." said Illyria.


"No, Joy Merryweather." said Daria, nodding at Illyria, who took it as a signal to go along with Daria's new name.


"As you wish." said Illyria.


"Okay, but getting back to the device: Do you have any idea how much energy is needed to initiate fusion?" asked Winifred.


"I do, but I am unfamiliar with your units of measurement." said Illyria.


"Right, and by the way, a Hydrogen bomb is even bigger than a tactical nuke, so-" started Winifred.


"The device you described sounds like an electrically powered detonator. It probably fires a burst of the particles you refer to as electrons at a crystal composed of the atoms you refer to as Lithium and Hydrogen." said Illyria.


Winifred thought about this and then slapped herself on the forehead "OF COURSE!!! Then you'd only need a Marx generator and some sort of barrel to direct the electrons into the crystal. It would be difficult to condense a Marx generator into such a small device, but it's possible."


"Great, we know how she made it, now let's find her and take her out." said Daria.


"So, plan anyone?" asked Kennedy.


"Yeah" said Daria, before launching into an explanation.




The group of vampires lead by Robert entered the alley as they headed out to find new recruits.


This was cut short when they saw an Asian girl in combat fatigues run at them. The girl threw something at them from 15 metres away, it exploded about a metre over their heads and showered them with a burning liquid which they accidentally breathed in as the girl drop kicked one of them, this knocked over two more of the group, the rest then started to get a clue.


The girl picked up Robert and used him as a club to smack the other vampires around before throwing him hard through a fence. She then produced a couple of stakes and went about dusting the rest of them.


By the time Robert was awake enough to get up, he crept to the hole in the fence and peeked around. He then saw Jack at the mouth of the alley looking left and right, he then turned and ran to Robert.


"That a slayer?" he asked.


"Yeah, I managed to break her arm, but then she got away" said Jack.


"Right, we'd better return to base, no way we're turning people in this state." said Robert as he slowly got to his feet.




Amy materialised in the new base, a factory they had taken over. The place was rigged for working with plastics to make novelty items, some of which used microelectronics to command light patterns, this turned out to be perfect for what Shaun wanted to do, it would only take a few modifications to an unused room in order to start churning out nuclear ordnance.


Shaun was going over some designs for nuclear artillery, these would be the size of a light antitank weapon. Some vampires were out now procuring black powder and steel pipes. The factory included a machine shop that Shaun had some vampires working in. They were making tools that would crimp the steel pipes they were using for motors to form rocket nozzles, and other items for some sort of explosive activated battery. Half the science went over Amy's head, but the essence was that the end product would shoot a bomb equivalent in energy to 1T of TNT at whatever they wanted gone.


She had asked Shaun about laser weapons, but Shaun said it was unlikely he could come up with anything that would be better than the current generation of machineguns. He said he'd have a go and see if he could.


Amy heard a commotion downstairs. She teleported down and saw a bunch of vampires brawling. She separated them and asked "What's going on here?"


"That's not Jack." one of the vampires said.


"Sorry, my nose has been numb since we encountered the slayer." said another.


'Jack', who the other vampires were looking at, stepped forwards and said "that grenade she used must have fucked up my emissions."


"It didn't affect Robert." said one of the vampires.


Amy tried to probe the vampire magically to figure out what was going on, but he felt different to a vampire.


"What are you?" asked Amy.


"Well, I'm a vampire" said Jack.


Amy walked around and saw his reflection in the window "a vampire with a reflection?" she asked.


Jack shrugged and said "I can not replicate that effect."


Amy tried to grab Jack's likeness telekinetically, but was unable to affect him. She said "my magics have no effect on you, looks like we're coaxing answers the old fashioned way." she signalled for the vampires to grab Jack's likeness and move follow her.


She soon felt the presence of another witch "Amanda Lane" she tried to locate her, but with no success.


She picked up a handy screwdriver and made an attempt to push it into the intruder's shoulder, the attempt failed when the intruder kicked her across the room, and set about slaying her army.


She picked up a fire extinguisher, and ran for the intruder about to smack him over the head. But the intruder sidestepped, removing the extinguisher and using it to ram her into the pillar between two of the windows. The ribs where the extinguisher's base had struck were fractured, and Amy's head swam from the pain. She looked over at the intruder who dropped whatever disguising spell it was using to become a leather clad demon girl with blue mottled skin and blue/brown hair in pigtails, looking like a short gothic Brittany spears. She was about to bring the extinguisher down on her head when Amy 'ported out.




Shaun and Drusilla had just completed the first 6 warheads when Amy 'ported in, She was in serious pain. She said "We're under attack." she then walked up to them and teleported them somewhere else. She said "rebuild my army, and equip it. You have the Email address and password, keep checking it or you will lose it." before grabbing four of the warheads (Shaun had explained how the fuses would detonate the warhead 6 seconds after activation, which she could do magically) and teleporting back to the factory.




The vampires on the 3rd floor of the factory (it was a 3 story rectangular building that looked like any office building from the outside) were surprised when a female vampire with a gaudy flamethrower and a blonde male vampire with a mundane military green flamethrower entered and cooked the place.




The vampires on the 2nd floor were surprised by the entrance of two female nerds tooled with submachine guns, and two more girls with stakes entered through the emergency exits.


The girls with the guns incapacitated the vampires, the other two finished them.


Then Amy materialised in the room and threw two of the nuclear weapons at them. Kennedy failed to notice this, but Daria saw it, she telekinetically threw the warheads back the way they came.


It was far enough to stop the four girls getting vaporised, but not enough to stop the compression wave from throwing them out of the windows at the end of the building. They only just managed to grab the window sill, and the other end of the building promptly collapsed.


Then two more explosions closer to them but on the floor above them went off. They weren't hit by any of the shrapnel, but the concrete vapours that were blown down through the hole burned the backs of the four pairs of hands on the sill.


Everyone climbed back in. The floors and walls were so hot that the girls were further burned when they climbed back in. They quickly stood up and headed to the stairs, wanting to be out of there before their shoes got too hot. The fact that they were walking into a crater to get there was slightly worrying, as was the fact the centre was glowing a dull red.


Illyria walked onto the floor and said "Amy teleported out before I could kill her. What has happened here?"


"Amy teleported in and started throwing fireworks." said Daria.


"So where is she now?" asked Kennedy as she joined them.


"On the roof." came Amanda's voice in their heads.


They all headed upstairs.




Amy glared at Amanda as they stood on the larger surviving section of roof, still nursing her busted ribs.


"This is not what Magic is for." said Amanda.


"Bite me, or better yet, ... " Amy conjured a ton of rattlesnakes over Amanda's head.


Amanda Telekinetically threw the snakes aside, saying "you are weak of power and of will."


"I can still kick your ass." said Amy. She then conjured a fireball and threw it at Amanda, who absorbed it into her hand. Amanda then conjured an anvil over Amy's head, but Amy threw that off the building.


Amy tried to figure out a way to engage Amanda, who was clearly extremely powerful.


Suddenly Amy felt something hit her and she has a head rush. She turned around seeing Kennedy, the demon hunter, the Asian slayer, the blue mottled demon with the pigtails, and a nerd she never met before standing in a line.


The energy was vaguely familiar. She started "What do you-" but was interrupted.


"Klyv mat chyvma, klvma chyt" said Daria.


Amy noticed the floor about half a metre in front of her opening into a portal, it sucked at her. She was about to teleport out when she heard Daria say "Catch". She looked up and caught the object, a red grenade. It exploded before she could think to throw it back, and she felt a searing pain and a bright yellowish light engulf her.


Then she fell through the portal.




Daria looked at the others on the roof and asked "we done?"


"We are." stated Illyria.


"Peachy" Daria said. Then she looked around and asked "where's Jane and Spike?"


Suddenly Jane and Spike burst through the door to the roof ready to incinerate something. Spike asked "What's left?"


"Nothing" replied Daria, she then said "we should-"




Willow was surprised to hear Daria say "-get out of-" and turned to see the group had materialised in the lounge beside her.


Daria then looked around at her new surroundings and said "Yeah, ... this should work"


They also noticed that the burns were healed.


"Right, I need to get some sleep now, all that magic wiped me out." said Amanda as she headed up stairs.


"Hmm, a pity we couldn't get our hands on one of those nukes." said Spike.


"I can help you design them" said Illyria.


"Yeah? ... Looks like we might have a use for you after all then." said Spike.


"We shouldn't do it at the law firm, I'll see if I can get us a workshop that can not be monitored by them." said Winifred.


Illyria turned to Daria and asked "Do you need me for anything else?"


"I think we're done for now, thanks for your help Illyria, it was greatly appreciated"


"Your appreciation is irrelevant."


"Damn Amiga, Blue makes even you look sociable." said Jane.


"Bite me." Said Daria


"Really? Thanks" said Jane, as she vamped out.


"Real cute." said Daria, who headed to her room.


"I should get home." said Tiffany, she headed out.


"Where'd you send her?" asked Willow.


"Amy?" asked Winifred, at Willows nod, she said "somewhere really nasty. Same place I sent my physics professor when I found out it was him who sent me to Pylea."


"Sweet" said Willow "She deserves it after all the shit she put me through. I'm still having to avoid spell casting and it's driving me nuts."


Kennedy walked up to her and said "let's see what we can do about that shall we?". She then sat down and started kissing Willow, feeling her up.


Jane looked put off while Spike watched with a boner.


And Illyria looked bored.


"Well, I think I'll just go to bed now before I see something that really weirds me out." said Jane, heading up stairs.


Spike looked up at her and asked "a bit early, innit?"


Jane looked back and said "well, what else is there?"


"We could go out and kill things." said Spike.


"Now you're talking." said Jane as she returned to the ground floor and grabbed a stake.


"I believe I will also join you." said Illyria, who picked up another stake.


Winifred looked from the door to the lesbians, to the door again, and then headed upstairs.




Daria was starting her report when she heard a knock.


"Yeah?" she asked.


Winifred poked her head around the door and asked "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."


Daria gestured for her to grab a seat.


Winifred sat down and asked "how is it you can have such a rapport with Illyria after what I heard she did to you?"


"Because it was what Tiffany was doing to me that gave her the idea. Tiffany was doped up on something and was chasing Jane, unaware at the time Jane had a soul or how frivolous her pursuit of Jane was. Then when I was released after Illyria was convinced I had no information for her, and she had just abducted Willow. Faith and Tiffany weren't exactly sympathetic. So when they showed up again, and my sister distracted them, I got out and set a trap for them.


Good thing it failed, because if I had succeeded, Illyria would have blown a massive hole in the world and dislodged it from it's orbit. The moon would also have been affected, it's wonky orbit would have caused additional problems, I almost killed all life on earth with my wrath." Said Daria.


"And that brings you close to Illyria because, ... ?" prompted Winifred.


"It doesn't, in fact, I was pretty mad at her for the two weeks of my suspension from school. But I now had this reaction to my anger that it could have disastrous consequences. So when Illyria showed up in New York in the middle of us planning to extract you from that hell dimension, it occurred to me to ask her if she could help, and to recruit her if she could." Said Daria.


"Do you really believe she can ever be a force for good?" asked Winifred.


"Possibly, ... the girl's a child in this world, and I don't just mean her shell, she's starting from scratch. In order to gain any power, she needs to earn the loyalty of those around her, I think she understands that, she also wants Wolfram and Hart gone, in every dimension they occupy. If she can get them off our planet, it may be possible to keep them that way long enough for us to become strong enough in force to harass them from earth until all dimensions are free of them." Said Daria.


"A doozy of a challenge." said Winifred.


"It will keep her on our side for the time being. I just hope it doesn't come to a case of our knife in her back first." Said Daria.


"Hmm" said Winifred.


After a few seconds of awkward silence, Daria said "So, you did physics, right?"


"Yeah, still do in fact, most people would say magic has nothing to do with physics, but it's a part of the universe, so it's included"


They launched into a conversation about the physics of magic.




Illyria partook in the violence as Spike and Jane engaged the large formation of half-breeds in the cemetery, she had briefly accessed Stacy's memory when in response to Spike's question of "you up for it?", Jane said "in response I'm gonna have to say, MORTAL KOMBAT!", the memory was linked to a computer game that simulated a pair of combatants without giving the players much real insight into how to carry out a fight.


Jane had run in with Spike a couple of seconds behind and they started fighting immediately.


Illyria joined in and the ensouled half breeds found themselves standing around with nothing to do as Illyria engaged the remaining hostile half-breeds on her own.


"No way we're going to keep up with her" said Spike.


"Unless we have a witch speed us up." said Jane.


Illyria eventually finished the group and returned to Spike and Jane saying "I will find more enemies to kill. Are you interested or would you two like to act on your mutual lust?"


That drew "Hey"s from both of them, but they looked at each other.


"No live sperm, immunity to STDs, Wadd'ya think?" asked Spike.


"I think we need to find a nice soft grave to have sex on." said Jane.


Illyria nodded and headed off.




"Tiffany?" asked Mr Deckler.


"Yeah?" asked Tiffany.


"Where have you been?" asked Mr Deckler.


"Usual: Park, Zen, town centre, here, why, what's up?"


"Tiffany, some terrorists blew up a factory tonight, what if they also do kidnapping?"


"They touch me, I guess, I'll just have to, make them envy the dead, I want to get some sleep now, we done?"


Mr Deckler finally said "go to your room"


After he heard the door close, he returned to the living room and sat next to Mrs Deckler. He switched on the news, adjusting the volume so it would drown out a whispered conversation.


"I'm getting seriously worried about her, and I don't think the direct approach is going to work" said Mr Deckler.


"I hate that we might have to do this." said Mrs Deckler.


"I know, I just want to get rid of those dreams where Tiffany's stabbing people at random because she's imagining they're vampires or some other delusion." said Mr Deckler.