Community Service


A 'Judith Strikes!' fic by Brother Grimace



NOTE: This fic takes place during the Season Four finale – 'Dye! Dye! My Darling'.



(Tom and Daria sit in his Pinto, in front of the Morgendorffer home.)


Daria - Did you want to talk about Jane?


Tom - Nope.


Daria - Oh. Then... what?


Tom - About our situation.


Daria - I don't know what you mean. We have no situation. Leave me alone, I gotta go.


Tom - Wait. Why is everyone so mad at me?


Daria - Why? Why? Because I moved to this town and I knew immediately I'd be a total outcast. And in the one moment of good luck I've had in my entire life, I met another outcast who I could really be friends with and not have to feel completely alone. And then you came along and screwed the whole thing up!


Tom - All I did was meet a girl I thought was cool and I went out with her for a while. We started to get bored with each other. It happens all the time. It's nobody's fault.


Daria - Oh yeah? Would you still be bored with her if I weren't around?


Tom - Probably. And more to the point, she'd be bored with me. It's got nothing to do with you.


Daria - Good. Because I'm not interested in you, and I'd be stabbing my friend in the back if I even considered it.


Tom - Exactly. And what kind of a jerk would that make me?


Daria - Exactly.


Tom - All right then.


Daria - Okay.


(Tom suddenly leans over and kisses Daria, who seems to enjoy it... until she finally comprehends what she's doing)


Daria - Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!


Tom - I liked it, too.


(She and Tom then engage in another lip-lock, this time deliberately)


Tom - That was definitely not funny.


Daria - I gotta go!


Jane (o.s.; through speaker in car) - You got that right.


(Tom and Daria's eyes spring open at the sound of a VERY angry Jane.)


(Tom's car erupts in a mushroom of blinding fire. Tom's body is seared to his seat, while Daria, already opening the door, is blown through the open window, but catches on something inside. Horrified onlookers appear from every direction, drawn by Daria's screams of agony as she burns alive, writhing as she hangs from the car window.)


(At the other end of the street, Jane hands several folded sheets of paper to a woman who could only be Judith.)


Jane – Is this what you wanted?


Judith – Pretty much. Thanks.


(Jane watches a person with a home fire extinguisher spray Daria to no avail as Judith puts the papers – and the small, pen-shaped device that she used on the Pinto earlier – into her cloak.)


Jane – Nice touch, there. How the hell did you get her to go shooting through the window like that?


Judith – I wish I could take credit for that. (She hands Jane a backpack that resembles the one that Jane always carries.) Every once in a great while, the universe gives you what you want, instead of what you need. Enjoy.


(Jane opens the zipper slightly to see that it is stuffed full of papers, roughly the size of two or three reams of printer paper.)


Jane – Nice.


Judith – Bearer bonds. Enough to get you free and clear of this dump and these people once and for all. You'll literally never have to worry about money, ever again.


(The two young women watch as Helen and Jake run screaming out of the house, and Jake grasps his chest, falling to the sidewalk as the screaming of the Fashion Club girls mingles with Helen's screams.)


Jane – Something tells me that you've done this before.


Judith – You could say that.


(Judith turns to walk away, and Jane turns after her.)


Jane – Do you mind if I ask you a question?


Judith – Go ahead.


Jane – Why?


Judith – The money – because I wish I could have done it for my Jane. (pause) The rest... consider it a community service.


(Judith disappears in a blink of blue light. Jane, shouldering the book bag, heads off down the street as the sirens of approaching emergency vehicles begin to drown out the sounds of screaming.)