Daria is sitting at the breakfast table with an unshaven Jake, both in their robes, eating Daria's toast and reading the newspaper.

Quinn comes bounding down the stairs, dressed in her usual outfit and carrying a small purse.

Daria lowers the arts section of the paper so that her usually expressionless eyes become visible.

Quinn: (Running by and speaking very quickly) How do look Daddy? (Quinn pirouettes on the run) I'm going to Cashmans with the fashion club if you don't mind please tell mom... byeee! (Door slams.)

Jake, reading intently, grunts.

Daria raises the paper.

Helen comes running down the stairs, dressed in her usual outfit, carrying a briefcase.

As before, Daria lowers her section of the paper.

Helen: (Walking quickly past the table) Good morning, Daria! Jake, I have a WBR meeting to attend and then I am going to drop by the office to finish up a few things. See to it that Quinn does her homework before she goes out today. Have a nice.... Daria!

Helen has stopped and is looking at Daria, who is looking back with a bland expression of mild interest.

Helen: Why Daria...I thought I saw you... smiling.

Daria: (In her usual robotic monotone) Saw something funny in the paper, mom. Good luck with the Women's Business Roundtable meeting.

Helen: (Haltingly and unsure.) OK, Daria...what are you going to do today? Are you going to Jane's?

Daria: No mom. Jane is visiting her aunt in Buenavista this weekend. I thought I would hang around here and catch up on my loafing and TV watching today.

Helen: Well, try and find something constructive to do dear. Please take care of things around here. Bye.

Daria: Ok mom. Bye, mom.

Helen looks into Daria's deadpan face for a long moment and then leaves.

(Front door slams, car-starting sounds.)

<Cut back to Daria>

Daria is smiling.

Jake remains oblivious.

Daria raises the paper.

Jake: Oh my God, it looks like Omnicorp is moving into Lawndale!

Daria: (Lowering the paper) Who are they and what are they to us?

Jake lowers the paper and looks at Daria as if amazed that she would take an interest.

Jake: (Excitedly) Omnicorp is a conglomerate that has bucked the odds and retained its widely separated and disparate business operations. They use consultants and outside partners to shake things up! We could move up to a whole new level if I could get some of their business! I gotta go to the office and get some networking started! Times a wasting Daria!

Jake springs to his feet and bounds away up the stairs.

A few minutes later a freshly suited but still unshaven Jake stops in front of the table.

Jake: Daria, where is your mother?

Daria: WBR meeting dad. You forgot to shave.

Jake: (Feeling his chin.) Oh, darn! Good thing you saw that, kiddo!

Jake runs up the stairs.(Sound of an electric razor.)

Daria is humming and piling dirty dishes onto the kitchen counter when Jake returns.

Jake: (To Daria's back.) How do I look now kiddo?

Daria turns and absolutely transfixes him with a thousand watt smile.

Daria: Very handsome and businesslike, dad. Knock em dead!

Impulsively a heartstruck Jake steps forward and hugs her. Amazingly she gives him a long hug back.

Jake: (Releasing her and spinning rapidly away so that she won't see his brimming eyes.) Hold down the fort for me pretty Daria. Bye now.

Jake: (Thought VO while leaving the house.) Boy that was just great! That incredible smile! I feel like I could conquer the whole world and bring it home to my girls in a sack! If I get an Omnicorp contract this week I gotta do something nice for Daria. No prisoners!

(Car leaving sound.)

Daria: (Thought VO. Smiling and happy, a little embarrassed.) Pretty! Well he has to say that. Ah well, alone again. Better get dressed and clean up this pigsty. I hope I have something clean to wear. (She hums a little tune as she climbs up the stairs.)

<Cut to Trent and Jane on their way to Buenavista in Trent's old blue Plymouth>

Jane: (Looking at Trent, concerned.) You're way to quiet this morning. What's the matter, Trent? Aunt Alice isn't so bad.

Trent: (Gives Jane a rueful look.) I think I might have made Daria think that I was coming on to her last night.

Jane: (Angry now.) For gods sake, Trent what did you do?

Trent: (Looking thoroughly ashamed.) I kissed her and told her that she was wise and beautiful.

Jane: (Suppressed smile.) And how did this thing come to be?

Trent: Well, Janey, you know how depressed I get with these family visits. I feel like a failure when they talk about how well their little robots my age are doing. That seems to be the only thing they talk to me about anyway. (Sighs.) I guess I was looking a little upset because on her way out Daria stopped and asked me what was wrong.

Trent pauses and shifts restlessly in his seat.

Jane: (Interested.) Pray continue, oh brother of mine.

Trent: (Shooting Jane a look.) Well I told Daria how I felt about it and she told me to take a good look at them and describe what I see. (He laughs.) I said farm animals.

Jane: Farm animals?

Trent: Yeah. Farm animals. They die a little bit every day for a little corporate cud. The company sucks them dry and spits them out, old and bitter, usually with a broken family. (He laughs again.) Then she told me to take a good look at myself and describe what I see.

Jane: WELL?

Trent: Trent Lane, leader of The Mystic Spiral, poet and musician. I love performing more than eating and sleeping. Someone who is doing exactly what he wants and is perceptibly improving every day. Someone on the move in the grove and running smooth. (He grins.) She really cheered me up.

Jane: So what happened?

Trent: (Looking crestfallen.) I got a little carried away, grabbed her and kissed her. Then I made the wise and beautiful crack. She looked at me real funny, and like... shuddered. She must have really been creeped out. Then she turned beet red, pulled away and sprinted out of there like I had sprouted horns. I didn't mean it that way Jane. I just wanted to thank her for the pep-talk.

Trent is watching the road. Jane is looking out of the passenger window, hiding her face and biting her fist, tears leaking out, almost hysterical with suppressed laughter. After a few miles pass she calms down enough to speak again.

Jane: Trent, why don't you take a good look at Daria and describe what you see?

Trent: (Confused) What?

Jane: Do it now!

Trent: (Thoughtful.) Well I suppose the first thing you notice is her raw intelligence. She stands out that way like an oxyacetylene torch among the candles. (Trent looks a little wistful.) I guess that's why she's your only friend. You're like that to.

Jane: (Smiles.) Hmmm. Go on.

Trent: Then there is her stubbornness. She refuses to go along with the crowd and uses irony to get people thinking. I know that my music has changed for the better since she started listening.

Jane: (Impatiently.) Come on Trent. She hasn't said a word to you about your music except "fine" or "good".

Trent: (Happily.) She can't hide her face Jane, and it's an open book to me. I vary my chords and timing and watch the reaction slide across her face. Then I try the positive changes on an audience and she is always right on the money. (He grins.)

Jane is staring at him with an almost scared expression. Trent doesn't see.

Trent: (Sadder now.) I know that its been very hard for her, growing up surrounded by idiots. They don't get her humor or anything else about her. She has to hide to protect herself from their resentment. Those oversized glasses and clothes are like her...disguise.

Jane. (Sadly.) You got that right.

Trent: (Downcast.) She hasn't had many good friends in her life and I hope I didn't scare her off. I'll apologize and then avoid her until she feels comfortable around me again. I hope that she'll come to band practice again someday.

Jane: What about your relationship with her?

Trent: (Puzzled.) Relationship? She's 16, four and change years younger than me and your best... no, only friend. I feel like she's another little sister. I want to look after her and enjoy her company. She really cracks me up with those little zingers she shoots off all the time. She always knows how to cheer me up. I really like and respect her and I'm proud that you have such a genuinely good person as your friend.

Jane: (Thought VO.) The knucklehead doesn't see her at all!

Trent pulls off the highway into Buenavista.

Jane: (Face set.) Turn around Trent. We're going back to Lawndale to talk to Daria.

Trent: But what about-

Jane: (Interrupts.) Auntie can wait till tomorrow. We need to talk to Daria now.

Trent: (Apprehensive.) Cool.

Trent stops for gas and they head back onto the highway.

<Int. Daria's room, Morgendorffer Home>

Daria opens her closet and pulls an old child sized student guitar from a shelf. She rattles the pitchpipe out of the soundbox and winces at the discordant noise that it emits as she strums.

Daria goes down the stairs and pulls up a stool in the now spotless kitchen. Her arms and face are smudged from house cleaning and she is not wearing her glasses. She is dressed in her old yellow and white Highland junior high PE uniform. The tank top halts well above her belly button and looks painted on. The matching shorts are now skintight, the seams split far up the outer thighs and very short indeed. Oblivious as usual to her body, Daria looks like a centerfold.

Daria: (Thought VO) Might as well amuse myself while I wait for the washer to dump. At least I can see if anyone comes up the driveway from here. I just don't want to deal with Quinn and her little fashion nazis complaining about noise again.

She begins to tune up the guitar, humming the pitch perfectly, instead of using the pipes.

After the guitar is tuned Daria haltingly plays a simplified version of "Dog and Butterfly" the old song by Heart.

As she plays it over and over she hums the vocal part, at first quietly then more confidently.

She has been playing for over an hour when the glare of the setting sun forces her to pull her stool away from her lookout point. She is into the music and forgets herself enough to let her guard down.

<Cut to Trent and Jane pulling up to the curb in front of Daria's house>

Trent: (Still apprehensive.) Maybe you should talk to her first Janey.

Jane (Getting out.) No! Come on Trent don't worry, every thing will be OK.

Trent gets out and they walk up the driveway. Halfway up they hear the guitar as Daria begins a full throated rendition of "Dog and Butterfly".

Trent: Who IS that? She's really GOOD!

Jane: Quinn? What an absolute bummer!

They follow the voice around the side of the house to the sliding glass kitchen door and halt in shock as they see Daria through the screen.

Daria is sitting on her barstool, left profile on to the Lanes, bent over the old guitar, really wailing. Her voice is perfect. Her face comes up but her eyes are tightly closed.

Trent stands rooted in place, swallowing hard as the color drains from his face.

Jane: (Tearing her eyes away from Daria and seeing Trent's shock white face.) Oooohmigod.

Jane opens her purse and gets her disposable camera. She quickly snaps Trent and then Daria. There is no flash so Daria doesn't notice.

Jane: (Thought VO.) What a painting this will make! I'll call it "The Quick and the Dead."

The camera snap seems to wake Trent up. He totters a few steps back and staggers away in a random direction.

Jane follows, concerned that he might walk into something or faint.

When Jane disappears from view, Daria's song ends, her eyes open and she begins blowing on her raw fingers.

A little way down the driveway, Jane stops Trent by grabbing his arm.

Trent: (Thought VO.) Its her! The one! I love her! This is the thunderbolt! I can feel the marrow running out of my bones! She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen... she's killing me. I can't breathe, my lungs are stuck...

Jane: Come on Trent. Let's knock on the front door.

Trent: (Looking white faced and wild eyed at Jane.) No! Gotta go now. (Memory VO of Daria's tune.) I feel my brain like... melting. (He shivers like a tired horse and walks away, ignoring his car.)

Jane: (Concerned.) Watch out for cars, Trent!

Jane moves closer to the door, listens for a minute and then shakes her head.

Jane: (Thought VO.) This requires some thought.

<Cut to Trent's car.>

Jane fishes a spare key from behind the back license plate.

Jane: (To self.) Okeyfine. Looks like today I learn to drive! (Thought VO.) I can't let Daria find out that Trent and I were here and didn't want to talk to her.

<Cut to car pulling away jerkily, Jane at the wheel.>

<Cut to Daria putting the guitar back into the closet with a sigh.>

<Cut to Quinn, the fashion club and three heavily laden volunteer boy porters leaving the mall.>

<Cut to Helen, sitting at her desk working, wearing bifocals.>

<Cut to Jake and some sleazy looking businessmen drinking and laughing in the golf course clubhouse.>

<Early morning at the Lane House, hall outside of Trent's bed room.>

Jane: (Knocking at the bedroom door.) Trent! Wake up, we have to go to Buenavista!

No response from Trent.

Jane: Dammit mom will kill us if we don't go. (She opens the door and finds no sign of Trent.) Trent! You're up early! Where could you be?

<Cut to Jesse and Max getting out of the tank in an alley behind a bar.>

Max: I don't see anyone. Sure we got the right alley, dude?

Jesse: Yeah, this is where Monique said she saw him passed out.

A pile of flattened cardboard boxes next to the dumpster stirs slightly and then Trent emerges.

Trent: (Standing up and looking none the worse for wear.) Hey, guys.

Max: Lets get some waffles.

Jesse: Cool.

They walk together in silence to the tank.

<Cut to waffle house booth. Max Jesse and Trent are eating huge plates of waffles.>

Trent: (In mid conversation.) I'm telling you Max, it was the thunderbolt, but its all wrong.

Max: Why, she ugly or something?

Trent: (Glaring.) Hey man! There aren't words fit to describe how good she looks! But she's a sixteen year old highschooler and I'm a 21 year old rock musician. What a match made in hell.

Max: (Professorially.) Don't be stupid. It's absolutely perfect.

Trent: (Bewildered.) What?

Max: (A little exasperated.) Look Trent, ya gotta start thinking things through. Lets assume that this is the real thing and that it's mutual. (He doesn't notice Trent's quickly hidden flash of melancholy.) She has what... six years of high school and college left. The man and wife thing can be reasonably put off until she's done with all of that crap. In the mean time you don't have to support her. Every rocker that marries ends up dropping out and working a straight job to keep honey and junior in Kokopuffs. With this young chick behind you, you can weather the rocks and shoals of touring, be immune to groupies... hell its just perfect. You get six years to make it big in the rock and roll game and a college girl to help put you through insurance salesman school or whatever if it doesn't work out. I'm gonna to look around for a hot high school girl too!

Trent: (Intensely.) Goddam, you are absofuckinlutely right! This is great! I gotta get SERIOUS about my playing, man. Six years... it's like a deadline. No more sleeping all day and partying all night for me! Gotta set some goals, make some plans, get more gigs... all that stuff.

Jessie: (Look of vapid surprise, fork full of waffle halted half way to mouth.) Holy crap!... It's Daria!

Trent: (Spins around.) Where! Oh. (Tightly.) Jesus Jesse... Keep it to yourselves OK? I'm not sure that it is mutual.

Max: No problemo.

Jesse: Ok dude.

Max: Daria? Do I know her?

Trent: Daria Morgendorffer, Jane's friend that sometimes comes to watch us practice.

Max: (Grins knowingly.) Of course. The one you always sing to.

They finish and leave.

<Cut to next booth where Jodie and Mack are lingering over breakfast.>

Jodie: Well that explains a lot.

Mack: Yeah. What a crew. I always thought she was just shy, but I guess she likes to walk on the wild side. No high school boys need apply.

Jodie: Can't blame her for that. How does she look to you?

Mack: Lie mode on.

Jodie: (Giggles.) Come on, I trust you. Tell me, I won't get mad.

Mack: Lie mode off.

Jodie: Come on, give!

Mack: (Seriously.) Not that I was deliberately looking mind you, but I think that if I had never met you I would be sitting here with Daria right now.

Jodie: (Surprised.) No!

Mack: Yes. I like smart women.

Jodie: (Laughing.) That's gonna cost ya! You'd better mind your manners, Michael Jordan Mackenzie, or I'll get myself a pretty musician like Daria did. What was that other guys name again?

Mack: (Thought VO.) Lie mode on. (Out loud.) Mitch, I think.

<Cut to the interior of the tank. Max drives, Jesse has shotgun and Trent sits on the box.>

Jesse: Wow, dude, I didn't know Daria played!

Trent: (Happily.) Yeah. At least a little rhythm. Sings like an angel to, but I've got no perspective where she's concerned. You'll have to judge that for yourselves.

Max: (Growing tired of the topic.) So, Trent, any new gigs?

<Cut to Monday Int. Lawndale HS, in front of Daria's locker.>

Daria is at her locker and Jane walks up.

Daria: Hi. How did the family torture session go?

Jane: (Opening her locker.) Never had a better one. What did you do to Trent Friday night?

Daria: (Blushes.) Nothing. We talked.

Jane: (Smiles.) He told me about the kiss. He thinks you're all weirded out and repulsed by him, you know.

Daria: (Panicky.) Oh no.... what am I going to do? I just... had to go!

Jane: (Laughing.) So I surmised.

Daria turns crimson, closes her locker and sprints to the bathroom where she locks herself into a stall.

<Cut back to lockers.>

Enter Jodie and Mack.

Jodie: Hi, Jane! What's wrong with Daria?

Jane: Man trouble.

Jodie: Hmm... say no more.

Mack: Trent not treating her right?

Jane: How....

Mack: We ah... overheard Trent and his crew yesterday at Waffles Uber Alles.

Jane: (Nodding.) Those two are scary. It's like watching planets collide. At first it seems like they're not moving at all then... BLAMMO! Lava everywhere.

Jodie Mack and Jane laugh.

The bell rings.

<Cut to O'Neals class.>

O'Neal: So, Brittany, If the heart of a good love story is the exploration of the lovers angst and their struggle to overcome both internal and external barriers, what is the single plot element that makes or breaks the story?

Brittany: (Twirling her hair vacantly.) I don't know. Picking which guy, I guess.

O'Neal: That's right! Good work, Brittany!

O'Neal: Kevin, can you think of an exception to this rule?

Kevin: (Waking up.) What? Uh... Moby Dick?

The class breaks up.

O'Neal: Daria, will you... (Looks over and sees Daria's empty seat.) Jane, where's Daria?

Jane: Overcoming barriers.

O'Neal: What?

Jane: She's sick.

Enter Daria

O'Neal: How are you feeling now, Daria?

Daria: (Blank faced, particularly robotic monotone.) Tip top. Couldn't be better. Rairin to go.

O'Neal: (Looking concerned and writing out a pass.) You look a little feverish to me. I think you should go and see the nurse. Jane, you go along with her.

< Cut to the gym roof. Daria and Jane are sitting in the shade of a ventilator stack.>

Jane: So lets define the problem. (Ticking points off on her fingers.)

One. Trent thinks that you are repulsed by him.

Two. You can't tell him why you ran.

Three. You need to get closer to him without scaring him away.

No problem. Leave it to your auntie Jane.

Daria: What are you talking about?

Jane: Guitar lessons.

Daria: Now I AM totally confused.

Jane: (Convincingly.) Trent used to teach guitar as a summer job. He quit doing it because he hated the noise, but if he happened to come across you strumming your baaad axe I just know that he would jump right in and start teaching you! Who knows to what interesting places that would lead?

Daria: (Distressed.) But I have no musical talent! I can't sing and I can barely play at all! What if he hates the noise!

Jane: (Thought VO.) Can't sing? Whoa... talk about major low self esteem. What in the hell did that stupid family of hers do to her? (Out loud.) Baby, we're talkin' mantrap here, not Juliard. If you play it he will come.

Daria: (Thoughtfully.) Well I do happen to have a guitar. I learned to play it a little in summer camp when I was ten. I haven't played much since because Quinn always raises such a squeal whenever she hears it. I never had anywhere to practice.

Jane: (Triumphant thought VO.) Gotcha little fishy! (Out loud.) Ok, here's the plan! You bring your guitar over about an hour after school. That will give me time to smooth things over with Trent. I'll tell him that you were sick Friday and were afraid that you were going to vomit on him. He'll buy that because it happens to him all the time.

Daria: (Looking at her watch.) Ok, fearless leader, I'll be there. We had better get to the nurses office, Its almost noon.

<Cut to Daria's room.>

Daria is looking at her almost empty closet. She sighs and picks out some jeans and a black T shirt. Behind her, unnoticed, Jake watches through her half open door. She lays the clothes on the bed and takes down the guitar, sighing again at it's smallness. Behind her, Jake looks sad, taking in the bleak padded cell and few shabby possessions of his eldest daughter.

Jake knocks.

Daria: (Surprised.) Dad! Come in.

Jake enters and looks for a place to sit. There is only the unmade bed so he stands.

Jake: Good news, honey! I got that contract!

Daria: Omnicorp? Congratulations!

Jake: Well, the extra money will sure come in handy! The bad news is that this room is going to be gutted and remodeled. I know you like it like this, but I can't pass up the opportunity to fix up the house while I have the money. I'm sorry, Daria, but this damn cell has to go.

Daria: That's ok, dad, I was getting a little tired of it anyway.

Jake: That's my trooper! Let me make it up to you. Here's my goldcard. Get yourself a couple of closets full of clothes.

Daria: (Smiling.) Thanks, dad, I could use a couple of new outfits.

Jake: (Picks up the guitar and strums.) I thought you gave this up. It's in tune so you must still play. Tell you what, this is a pretty crappy guitar. Get yourself a new one.

Daria: But that will cost-

Jake: (Interrupts.) Get what you need. Don't cheap out. I know you won't take undue advantage. I feel like I've been neglecting you. Get some nice things for yourself. A couple thousand won't break the bank of Jake! You'll be out of my house all too soon and you should have some things worth taking with you.

Daria: (Tearing up.) Thank you, dad.

Jake: (Happy.) I would never tell Quinn that because she would come home driving an XKE and towing a speedboat.

They both laugh.

Jake: Where are you going today, Daria?

Daria: Over to Jane's.

Jake: It's good that you have friends. He strummed an awkward chord. I haven't held a guitar since-

Quinn: (Distant petulant shriek.) Mo-oooom! Daria's playing that damn guitar again!

Helen: (Coming up the stairs.) Daria! Quit tormenting your sister! I thought I told you... (Helen enters the room and takes in Jake standing there with the guitar, his face set in a cold, hard stare.)

Jake: (Softly.) Excuse us, Daria. (He pushes Helen out the door and closes it quietly behind him.)

Helen: (A little frightened.) I'm sorry, Jake. I thought she was-

Jake: (Interrupts in low tones.) I won't have it. She can play her guitar and sing in her room all she wants. Quinn can go somewhere else if it bothers her so much. Daria lives in a shitty depressing padded cell with a closet full of drab rags and old junk. WE. WILL. PLAY. NO. MORE. FAVORITES. HERE. It's time to pay a little attention to Daria.

Helen: (Wet eyed.) Was I playing favorites? Oh god, I'm so sorry. Quinn is such a good manipulator and Daria just accepts things. I'm a bad mother...

Jake leads her off, comforting her.

Daria: (Thought VO. Peeking out of her room.) What the hell is going on around here? Everyone is acting strange except for Quinn. Four new people talked to me in school today! Dad is paying attention! It's like some cheesy scifi movie. I'm getting the hell out of here.

Daria quickly dresses, pops in her contacts, puts her glasses in her purse, grabs the guitar and heads down the stairs.

<Cut to living room.>

Quinn: What did you do! I got grounded for a week! It's all your fault. I can't help it if you're not attractive and popular, why take it out on me? You're wearing your contacts! Where are you going with that? (Points at guitar.)

Daria: Just riding the expanding wavefront of infinite probability that we like to call the universe, Quinn. I'll try to stay in the solar system, but hey, you're here, so I may have to leave.

Quinn: What?

Daria: Read a book, you cretin.

Quinn: What does that mean?

Daria: It means that you get to be a waitress someday.

Quinn: (Moving off.) Mo-oooom!

Daria closes the door behind her.

<Cut to Ext. front door of the Lane house.>

Daria knocks and Jane answers.

Jane: All ready for operation bagaboytoy?

Daria (Blushing, quickly looking around for Trent.) Jane!

Jane: Don't worry, Trent's not here.

Daria sighs and relaxes.

They climb the stairs and enter Jane's room.

Jane: Well that's not much of a guitar Daria.

Daria: It was ok for a ten year old. (She sits on the bed.) The weirdest things seem to be happening to me since Friday.

Jane: (Thought VO.) You don't know the half of it sister. (Out loud.) Oh really? What?

Daria explains about Jake paying attention to her and dominating Helen, and the strange vibes she is getting at school.

Daria: (Picking up the guitar.) I keep expecting to find spare android parts in a bin in the kitchen.

Jane: (Laughing. Begins a painting of Daria as a witch riding an electric guitar across the moon.) Jake knows.

Daria: Jake? Knows what?

Jane: He has a rival. (She mixes paint.) You got kissed Friday and Monday Jake gives you his gold card? You set off an alarm and on some level Jake is trying to repel boarders.

Daria: (Wryly.) Yeah, well he has been using more military metaphors lately. I never knew the old Jakester had it in him.

Jane: Oh, don't underestimate Jake. Remember, half of your genetic code is ala Jake.

Daria: (Mock sarcasm.) Thanks. I try not to remember that.

Jane: Well, ya gonna play that funky music?

Daria: Don't laugh. (She picks out a few chords, starts joining them together and is soon playing "Michael row your boat ashore" and quietly humming the vocals.)

Jane, still painting, begins to belt out the tune.

Jane: (Pausing.) Take it Daria!

Daria falters and then picks it up, still singing quietly. Jane joins her, shouting out hallelujah at the end of each chorus. Soon they are both singing at the top of their lungs. The guitar twangs and buzzes, loosing it's, tuning so Daria stops. They are both laughing.

Trent opens the door.

Daria's laughter abruptly cuts off. This makes Jane laugh even harder.

Trent: Hey Daria. So you play. Cool.

Daria: (Embarrassed.) Um. Hi...not really.

Trent: (Slight irritation.) Cut it out, Janey.

Jane trails off.

Trent: So, Daria, you want to try my old Yamaha?

Daria: Um. Ok.

Trent: It's in the basement.

Jane: (Quickly sketching Daria's expression.) You go ahead, Daria, I'll be right along.

Daria: Ah. Ok.

They leave. Jane paints for an hour.

<Cut to outside the basement door.>

Jane stealthily opens the door and sees Daria and Trent making out on the couch.

Jane: (Throwing the door open with a bang, wearing a big grin.) So when am I going to be an aunt again?

Daria and Trent spring apart guiltily.

Trent: Damn! Well Jane, this is how things are now. Get used to it.

Jane: (Looking at a flame faced Daria.) So I guess that means you don't have a problem with the age difference then.

Trent: Well, I'll mature up to Daria's level someday so it's not a problem.

Jane: That means you won't try to kill Jesse if I tell you that we're dating right?

Daria: So the plot is revealed. (Looks at Trent.) Good plot.

Trent: (Philosophically.) I guess not. But my eye is upon you, little sister.

Jane: Likewise, big brother.

Daria: (Wryly.) Well, since you're dating your sisters best friend and Jesse's dating his best friend's sister maybe we could all hang out together and go with the honor system.

Trent: (Seriously.) That's a good plan. We need to keep things in bounds. A mistake now would mean pretty drastic consequences for all concerned.

Jane: I'm game.

Daria: (Kisses Trent.) I like a smart man!

-fin