"The Disney World Story"
by Invisigoth Gypsy (IvG@garnetsigma.com)
http://www.garnetsigma.com
8-3-98 to 7-20-99


Summary: When Daria's ancient great aunt dies, everyone is shocked to learn that Daria inherited her fortune for a very unusual reason. Helen coerces Daria into taking Quinn, and all the rest of the Lawndale gang, on a vacation to what Daria claims is "The one place which goes against everything I believe in"--Disney World. Multiple adventures ensue down in sunny Florida.


Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7



CHAPTER ONE


(Scene opens in the Morgendorffer living room. Daria and Quinn are sitting on one of the sofas. Quinn is flipping through channels on the TV while Daria is looking through a stack of books.)

QUINN: Seen that.

DARIA: Read this one.

QUINN: Seen that one too.

DARIA: Read this one.

QUINN: God, look at those shoes! This one must be really old.

DARIA: Read this one twice. (She looks at Quinn.) Much as I hate to say it, I think that summer is finally reached the boring stage.

QUINN: For real! (She sighs mournfully.) I've talked to Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany today, Cashman's has the same old stuff it had at the beginning of the summer, and I've gone out with every guy on my list twice! (She looks at Daria.) Have you run out of things to do?

DARIA: (deadpan) Yeah. I've dated all the guys on my list three times. I have an idea. Why don't we negotiate a trade? Your remote for my library card.

QUINN: Me, read? Are you out of your mind?

DARIA: (shrugs) Have it your way if you really want to go out with Paul for a third time.

(Quinn looks pained, and glances from the remote to Daria's books. Finally she closes her eyes and holds out the remote melodramatically. Just as Daria reaches to take it, the phone rings. Quinn opens her eyes joyfully.)

QUINN: I got it!

(She jumps up and runs for the phone.)

DARIA: Damn, I was this close.

(Quinn comes back into the living room carrying the cordless and looking a little puzzled as Jake and Helen walk in.)

QUINN: Daddy? It's for you.

(Jake takes the phone.)

JAKE: Hello? (pause; he looks upset) Oh, I'm so sorry! I--(another pause) Oh. Yes, of course we will. (another pause) All right. We'll be there tomorrow. Goodbye.

(He turns off the phone and looks at Helen, upset.)

JAKE: Helen, Aunt Sarah Morgendorffer's dying!

(Helen looks puzzled.)

HELEN: Who's Aunt Sarah Morgendorffer?

JAKE: (blinks, no longer upset) I thought you knew who she was.

HELEN: Never heard of the woman.

JAKE: Neither have I.

DARIA: Isn't she the one that disowned Dad after he broke her mother's best china as a kid?

JAKE: Ohh, yeah! That Aunt Sarah. Well, anyway, she's dying and she wants us to come see her tomorrow.

HELEN: That's so nice! She must have forgiven you, Jake, and she wants us to be there when she passes away!

JAKE: She damn well better have forgiven me! That was forty years ago!

HELEN: Now, Jake, you have to be nice to her. After all, it's probably about the inheritance. You know how rich she was.

QUINN: Ooh, rich? Does that mean we'll get lots of her money?

DARIA: (scowls) Quinn, she's dying. You shouldn't be thinking about--

HELEN: I should hope so! The woman's loaded. (She puts her hand on Jake's shoulder.) And after all the emotional strain she's put on you for all these years! You deserve a little compensation.

(Daria glares even more and gets up to go to her room. Helen, Jake, and Quinn watch her leave.)

QUINN: (disgusted) What's wrong with her? (brightly) When are we leaving?

(Cut to Daria up in her room. She's talking to Jane on the phone.)

DARIA: (angrily) ...so the woman's dying, and all they can think about is what they're going to get out of it!

(Cut to split screen showing both Daria and Jane.)

JANE: That sucks. I guess that's why Mom and Dad have such strange wills. They're leaving their stuff to us kids, but they're donating most of their money to different foundations and stuff. It makes sense really. I mean, the rest of the Lanes won't have anything to do with them while they're alive, so why should they get the money when my parents are dead?

DARIA: Yeah. You think you and Trent'll do the same thing?

JANE: I will. I doubt that Trent will have any money to donate.

TRENT: (offscreen VO) I heard that!

JANE: Anyway, when are you leaving?

DARIA: Tomorrow. Aunt Sarah's certain that she'll die before the week is over, and she wants us to get there in time.

JANE: Have fun.

DARIA: Jane, I'm going to spend several days surrounded by my father's family. Do you think I'll have fun?

(Cut to the Morgendorffers in the car the next morning as they're driving to Aunt Sarah's house, about three hours away from Lawndale. Daria is morosely writing in her journal as the other three discuss the will.)

HELEN: I wish she would leave us some furniture. Some of those antiques are probably worth thousands.

JAKE: And those old books of hers! I remember looking at 'em when I was a kid. (darkly) Right before she yelled at me to get away from them before I ripped all the pages out.

QUINN: I just want money.

(Daria scowls and returns to her journal writing.)

DARIA: (writing thought VO) All my family keeps talking about is stuff. What they want to get and what it might be worth. I think I'm the only one who cares that a person is dying here, and I've never even met her before!

(She sighs and puts down her journal. Cut to the sidewalk in front of Jane's house. Jane is sitting on the grass, drawing an intricate mural on the sidewalk with chalk. Trent comes out of the house and walks over to her.)

TRENT: What's this?

JANE: This is what happens when one gets so bored, she actually misses going to school.

(She sighs and puts down her chalk. Trent turns his head sideways and squints at the picture. It is still a large, pastel abstraction. Trent shrugs and sits down on the grass beside Jane.)

TRENT: I'm bored too.

JANE: (surprised) You're never bored. Don't you guys have practice or something?

TRENT: All of the guys 'cept for me and Jesse are out of town. Besides, I just don't feel like practicing. You know.

(Jane picks up the chalk again and kneels in the grass in front of a blank stretch of sidewalk. She draws the outline of a body sprawled in the sidewalk, then adds a guitar in one hand and a microphone in the other.)

JANE: If I put up some police tape, people will think you've been murdered, and you can go around pretending to be a ghost.

TRENT: What I really want is to go somewhere, have some kind of adventure. (He perks up.) I have an idea. You, me, Jesse, and Daria could go on a road trip!

(Jane gives him a Look.)

JANE: Do you really think me and Daria want to be stuck in a car with you two for the rest of the summer? (Trent narrows his eyes.) Besides, Daria's not here.

TRENT: Oh. Uh, so is she on vacation or something?

(Jane moves to another clean spot of concrete and begins doodling some more.)

JANE: Nah. Some relative of hers is dying and she called on the Morgendorffer clan to ease her through the transition to a higher plane. (Jane stops drawing and sits back on her heels.) Daria would probably be a real comfort to a dying old lady. You know, sort of as a reminder of how depressing this life is. Wherever you go next can't possibly be this bad.

(Cut to the Morgendorffers pulling up at a huge, very beautiful old house. As they get out, Helen and Quinn exclaim over the house, Daria stares straight ahead, and Jake starts grumbling something about returning to the scene of the crime.)

HELEN: (patronizingly) Now, you need to need to be very nice to Aunt Sarah. She's a very sick lady, and we don't want to provoke her.

DARIA: (thought VO) Yeah, 'cos then she might not pay up.

JAKE: That's right, girls. Listen to your mother.

HELEN: I was talking to you, Jake.

JAKE: Oh. (glares) Hey!

(The family walks up to the door, where Jake rings the bell. A very authentic-looking maid in a black and white uniform answers the door.)

QUINN: (dreamily) A maid!

DARIA: Maybe we'll inherit her.

MAID: (with a heavy accent) You must be Jake and Helen.

HELEN: Why, yes! However did you guess?

MAID: (with attitude) You're the last to arrive. Madam is not very happy with you.

DARIA: Somehow, I'm not surprised.

MAID: Follow me.

(She turns and flounces off into the house. Hesistantly, the four Morgendorffers follow. As they walk, Jake is sulking. Helen and Quinn look around in awe at the fancy house, and Daria still stares straight ahead. The maid leads them a long flight of red-carpeted stairs and points to a door. The Morgendorffers enter the room, which turns out to be Sarah's bedroom. It is packed with other Morgendorffers. Sarah is lying in bed, propped up on pillows. She is indeed a very old lady.)

SARAH: Ah. I see you finally arrived, Jake.

(Jake grumbles something, but Helen steps up his foot and he quickly reforms.)

JAKE: Dear Aunt Sarah!

(He makes his way over to her bed, followed by Helen and the girls.)

JAKE: This is my wife Helen, and our two little angels, Quinn and Daria.

HELEN & QUINN: (gushing) Hello!

DARIA: Uh, hey.

SARAH: (ignoring the greetings) Now that everyone is here, I'd like to go ahead and have my say since the lot of you finally have to listen to me.

(Cut to closeup of Daria. She smiles a little. Cut back to Sarah.)

SARAH: Obviously, I'm getting on up there in years, and I have a feeling in my bones that I'm not long for this world. That's why I dragged the bunch of you over so I could see you one last time.

(She starts coughing uncontrollably. The Morgendorffers, except for Daria, look vaguely disgusted and glance at each other. Sarah quits coughing and continues.)

SARAH: Now I want all of you to carry on and talk and have a good old time. It does my old heart good to see you, so young and happy--well, except for you, dear sister-in-law.

(Cut to a shot of Jake's mother, who is neither young nor happy. Cut to wider shot of the room as the clan begins to mingle, somewhat awkwardly. Jake starts talking to his snooty cousin Cynthia.)

CYNTHIA: Jake, dear, how have you been?

JAKE: Oh, just great! (He laughs forcedly.)

CYNTHIA: How lovely. And your two girls are growing up so fast! My dear little Jennie is just blossoming!

(She puts her arm around her daughter, who is about Quinn's age, with wavy blond hair and an outfit the Fashion Club would kill for.)

JENNIE: Mooo-ooom, you're embarrassing me!

(She pulls away from her mother and stalks off.)

CYNTHIA: (fondly) Isn't she just lovely?

(Cut to Helen, Quinn, and several other conniving women gathered around Sarah's bed. Each is trying to outdo the other when Sarah suddenly starts coughing again. The women back away until she quits.)

HELEN: Er, well. Aunt Sarah, what do you think of our Quinn? Isn't she just getting so big?

SARAH: What about your other daughter?

(Cut to shot of Daria, sitting in a chair off by herself.)

HELEN: (dismayed offscreen VO) Oh, Daria.

(Cut back to the group at the bed.)

HELEN: Daria's always been a little... different. We do our best to support her in everything she does, but you know how kids are these days. (She laughs a little.) It's hard to keep them happy. Why, I--

(She is interrupted by the ringing of a bell. Everyone turns to see the maid standing in the doorway with a hand bell.)

MAID: Dinner is ready, ladies and gentlemen. Please follow me to the dining room.

(She turns and leaves, followed by the guests, grateful for the interruption. Daria is the last to leave, when Sarah stops her.)

SARAH: Daria. Come here for a minute.

(Daria goes over to her and sits in a chair beside the bed.)

SARAH: You seem like a sensible girl. (wryly) More than the rest of them anyhow.

DARIA: (secretly pleased) Uh, thanks.

SARAH: What did you think of my cough? Pretty convincing, no?

DARIA: You mean it was fake?

SARAH: You bet. If I was that sick, I'd insist on a hospital and not this drafty old place. It's just a ploy to see their reaction.

DARIA: (laughs) I'll have to try that sometime.

SARAH: (sighs) Yeah, you come up with a lot of good ideas when you're stuck in bed for weeks on end. Too bad it's too late now to try 'em out.

DARIA: (awkwardly) Maybe it's not. I mean maybe it's not all over...

SARAH: (gently) It'd better be. I'm tired, Daria. Real tired. I'm ready to die, dammit, and no one's going to tell me otherwise. If only it wasn't such a blasted inconvenience. Sometimes I wish I'd've gotten married and had a kid just so I wouldn't have to figure out who to leave my stuff to.

DARIA: Why didn't you ever get married?

SARAH: When I was marryin' age, I was as brassy as they came, and boys didn't like that back then.

DARIA: (wryly) They still don't.

SARAH: (laughs) I figured that if I was meant to be married, well, I'd find me a man someday who'd love me the way I was. And if I wasn't meant to be married, so be it. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I don't regret it either. I'd rather be myself than be a perfect girl just to get some boy to like me. (She looks at Daria seriously.) I think you know what I mean.

DARIA: (thoughtfully) I think I do.

SARAH: Sorry to keep carrying on so. You can go eat if you want to.

DARIA: Actually, I'm not very hungry. I, uh, have a book if you'd like me to read to you.

SARAH: What's the book?

DARIA: It's called Brave New World. (wryly) It's about a futuristic society obsessed with sex and conformity.

SARAH: I think I'd like that.

(Cut to later that night as Daria goes into the bedroom she's sharing with Quinn and Jennie. The other two girls are sitting on the bed, talking.)

QUINN: And there are these three guys who absolutely worship me.

JENNIE: Oh, I know how that is. We have to play spin the bottle just to figure out who I'm going to go out with that night!

(Quinn's eyes narrow.)

QUINN: The other girls in the Fashion Club are always telling me how up-to-date my outfits are. I guess it's only natural since I am vice-president of the club.

JENNIE: What a coincedence! We have a little club too, but we call it the Fashion Society. I'm president, you know.

QUINN: (wails) President?!?

(Daria silently turns and leaves the room. She spots a telephone sitting on a marble-top table in the hall, so she picks up the receiver and sits down in a chair to call Jane. Split screen with her and Trent's weird duck phone as Trent picks up.)

TRENT: Hello?

(Daria looks surprised and blushes a little.)

DARIA: Uh, hi Trent. Is Jane there?

TRENT: Hey, Daria. Janey and Jess went out tonight.

DARIA: (disappointed) Oh.

(There is a long silence.)

TRENT: Uh, Jane said that you were off at some relative's house?

DARIA: Yeah, my great aunt. (She glances around and lowers her voice.) It's hell here. The only other teenager is a clone of my sister, and all the adults are worse. Aunt Sarah's the only cool person here. Too bad she's the one dying.

TRENT: I feel for you. I hate family things. So, uh, what have you been doing?

DARIA: I read to Aunt Sarah all afternoon, then spent all evening listening to everyone else talk about what they were getting once she died.

TRENT: That's just like people, isn't it?

DARIA: (smiles) Yeah. It is. So... um, what are you up to?

TRENT: I was asleep.

DARIA: Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.

TRENT: No, it's okay. I'd been sleeping all day anyway. You know. (He pauses.) I think Janey misses you. She keeps complaining that there's nothing to do.

DARIA: (wryly) Nice to know that I'm missed.

TRENT: Yeah, well. You know, it is weird without you here. I'm used to seeing you around with Janey, and, uh, you know... (He coughs nervously.) Say, uh, do you know the phone number there? So I can, uh, give it to Janey tomorrow.

DARIA: Yeah, it's written on the phone. Got a pen?

(Trent looks around at the piles of junk in his room.)

TRENT: Um, this may take a while. Hang on.

(He puts down the phone and moves out of the shot. Minutes pass as Daria looks first bored, then impatient, then sleepy. Her eyes are just dropping closed as Trent comes back.)

TRENT: Daria?

(Daria's eyes shoot open.)

DARIA: Uh, yeah, I'm here.

TRENT: Okay, I found a pen.

DARIA: You got paper?

(Trent looks around again. It's hopeless.)

TRENT: Uh, sure. Shoot.

DARIA: It's 516-3842.

(As she speaks, Trent scrawls the number on the wall over his bed.)

TRENT: Okay got it. I'll, uh, tell Janey to call you.

DARIA: 'Kay. (She yawns.) Guess I'll let you go. I'm kind of tired.

TRENT: Okay. Uh, Daria?

DARIA: Yeah?

TRENT: Come back soon, okay? Lawndale's pretty boring without you.

(Daria blushes again.)

DARIA: I, uh... (quickly) I miss you too Trent bye.

(She hangs up quickly.)

DARIA: I can't believe I did that.

(She gets up to go back to her room. Trent slowly hangs up the phone and smiles. Cut to the girls' room as Daria returns. This time, the lights are out and Quinn and Jennie are asleep. Daria takes off her glasses, lies down on a velvet couch and pulls a blanket over her. She tosses and turns a few minutes before falling into an uneasy sleep.)

(Cut to Sarah's room early the next afternoon, where Daria and Sarah are talking.)

SARAH: Tell me about your friends, Daria.

DARIA: Um, well, my best friend is named Jane. She likes art a lot, and she runs. Then sometimes we hang out with her older brother and his best friend. Other than those three, I don't really have many friends.

SARAH: Well, what's important is that you like the friends you do have. That's better than spending time with people you don't really like.

DARIA: Yeah. I guess you're right.

SARAH: Changing the subject, will you do me a favor?

DARIA: Sure. What?

SARAH: When the time comes, remind me to close my eyes, will you? I don't want to die with my eyes open. I've always been kinda worried that no one will be able to get 'em closed again.

(She laughs.)

DARIA: (smiles) I'll be sure to remind you.

(There is a thumping on the door. Daria turns to see Helen stick her head in the room.)

HELEN: Daria, I need to talk to you for a minute.

(Daria gets up and follows her mother out of the room.)

HELEN: Aunt Sarah's lawyer is in the living room--or is it the parlor? Or maybe they called it the drawing room. Anyway, he's here to see about her will. He said that he'd make a note of our requests, so maybe you'd better come in there and--

DARIA: (interrupting angrily) Is that all you care about? What you're going to get? I don't care what I get. You can have it all!

(She storms back into the bedroom and slams the door. Helen looks after her and glares.)

HELEN: What is the matter with that girl?

(Cut to inside the bedroom. Daria is sitting down again, glaring.)

SARAH: What was that all about?

DARIA: They're all staking claims on your stuff.

SARAH: (laughs) I wouldn't doubt it. (She smiles.) Daria, will you go get my lawyer and tell him I want to see him now? Before they start carting off my furniture.

DARIA: Okay.

(She gets up.)

SARAH: And don't let any of the family in here!

DARIA: (wryly) Don't worry.

(Cut to a couple hours later. The Morgendorffers are clotted anxiously around the bedroom door, when the lawyer emerges, looking sad.)

LAWYER: She wants you all to come in now. It's almost over.

(Cynthia bursts into melodramatic tears. Jennie follows her mother's suit, then Quinn, not to be outdone, also starts crying as the family gathers in the bedroom, followed by the lawyer.)

SARAH: (weakly) I'm sure my lawyer told you that my time is almost up. I can feel it, and I'm ready to let go now that everything is taken care of. After I'm gone, the contents of my will will be made known to you. I--

(She starts coughing again, but this time it's real. Her breath begins to come shorter, and the family backs away, looking somewhat scared. Daria glares and pushes through the people to sit down beside the bed. She takes Sarah's hand and looks down at her sadly. Sarah's eyes open again.)

SARAH: (softly) Daria... thank you. You're a... wonderful girl.

DARIA: (whispering) Thank you.

(Sarah smiles faintly and squeezes Daria's hand.)

DARIA: (whispering) Close your eyes.

(Sarah's smile grows a little, and she closes her eyes. The other Morgendorffers watch in hesitant silence a moment, then they realize that Sarah isn't moving at all.)

QUINN: Is she... dead?

(The young lawyer moves forward and feels for her pulse. He nods slowly. Quinn and Jennie both suddenly look a little scared and hurry out of the room. They are soon followed by the rest of the family. Daria slowly lets go of Sarah's hand and stands up. The lawyer puts his hand on her shoulder.)

LAWYER: I'm sorry.

DARIA: (surprised) Thanks.

(The lawyer leaves the room. Daria looks at Sarah another long moment, then follows him, shutting the door behind her.)

(Cut to the living room, where the rest of the family is gathered to hear the will. Daria enters and sits down on a chair in the back of the room as the lawyer moves to the front.)

LAWYER: The will is quite simple, actually. The house, and all possessions in it, are to be sold.

(There is a collective gasp from the Morgendorffers and harried murmuring. The lawyer holds up his hand for silence.)

LAWYER: The money made from the sale of the estate is to be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which, as some of you might know, grants the biggest wishes of children with terminal illnesses.

JENNIE: But what about us? We're children, and we're not dying!

LAWYER: (coldly) I haven't finished yet, miss. As I was saying, the estate will go to charity. There is, however, still the matter of Miss Morgendorffer's considerable fortune invested in the bank. Before I disclose the method of distribution for these funds, I will read a note that Miss Morgendorffer wrote this afternoon concerning her legacy.

(He unfolds a piece of paper and begins to read.)

LAWYER: "I wanted to leave my money to those who truly cared for me. That's the real reason I called all of you here, to judge who was most worthy of receiving my legacy. All of you have surpassed my expectations, and you have made my decision quite easy. Therefore, without further ado, here are the inheritants of my money."

(The lawyer pauses dramatically. Pan around the room showing the excited faces of the Morgendorffers... and Daria's deadpan expression. Cut back to the lawyer.)

LAWYER: "There are no inheritants!"

(There is another gasp from around the room.)

LAWYER: "There is only one inheritant. Every last penny is to go to Daria Morgendorffer."

ENTIRE MORGENDORFFER CLAN: Daria?!?

DARIA: (blankly) Me?

LAWYER: Please, ladies and gentlemen, let me finish! (He clears his throat.) "Daria was the only one out of all of you who showed me any consideration beyond what you thought was necessary to get all my money. Therefore, she's the only one who deserves it. I hope this will teach all of you a good lesson. I doubt it." (The lawyer quits reading and looks up.) The note ends there.

(Cut to shot of Daria as everyone stares at her.)

(Cut to later that night. Daria is sitting in a chair in an obscure room of the house, reading, when Jennie walks into the room.)

JENNIE: (beaming and sucking up) Daria, there's a phone call for you.

DARIA: Uh, thanks.

(She spots a phone on a table on the other side of the room and goes to pick up as Jennie tiptoes out of the room.)

DARIA: Jane?

TRENT: (phone VO) Uh, no, it's Trent.

DARIA: (surprised) Oh. Hey.

(Cut to split screen showing Trent in the Lanes' kitchen.)

TRENT: How's your great aunt?

DARIA: She, uh, died today.

TRENT: (embarrassed) Oh, uh, sorry.

DARIA: No, it's okay, you didn't... I mean, she... I... (Daria suddenly realizes that she's starting to cry.) Dammit!

TRENT: Uh, is this a bad time?

DARIA: No, I want... (Her voice is wavering and she tries to steady it.) I want to talk to somebody.

TRENT: (gently) Do you want me to get Janey?

DARIA: Actually, I, uh, want to talk to you.

TRENT: (looks pleased) Oh. Okay.

DARIA: (sniffs) Trent, I just feel really weird about all this. I mean, I only knew her since yesterday, but I feel... I feel like she understood me, and I understood her. And I feel horrible that she's gone, but I think I'm the only one. (She pauses and starts to wipe her eyes, then gives up. softly) I've never felt this way before. I've never been so damn sad. And to make things worse, she left all her money to me, so now everyone else is treating me just like they treated her--all nice and sappy, in the hopes that they'll get something out of me. I hate it here, but I don't know where I want to be.

(Her voice breaks, and she quits speaking. Jane comes into the room behind Trent, but he doesn't notice.)

TRENT: (softly) I wish I knew what to tell you, Daria, but I don't. (forcefully) Dammit, I wish I could help you. You shouldn't have to go through this.

(Jane looks surprised.)

DARIA: (sniffs again) Thanks, Trent. You're the first understanding person I've talked to all evening.

TRENT: (smiles a little) I try. Is the funeral tomorrow?

DARIA: Yeah. At one. (She sighs.) I wish I didn't have to go. It's going to be hard.

TRENT: If anyone can make it, Daria, you can.

DARIA: (blushes) Thanks. Again. Um, will you tell Jane I said hey? I think I just want to go to bed right now.

TRENT: Sure. Uh, if you want to talk to somebody tonight, go ahead and call. Mom and Dad are gone, so it's just me and Janey here.

DARIA: (smiles a little) Okay. See you, Trent.

TRENT: Yeah. I'll see you.

(Cut to shot of Trent only as he hangs up the phone.)

JANE: What happened?

(Trent jumps and turns around, looking embarrassed.)

TRENT: Damn, Janey, how long were you standing there?

JANE: Not long. I take it her great aunt died?

TRENT: Yeah. She's really broken up about it. (He looks at Jane determinedly.) But I have an idea.

(Cut to the exterior of Sarah's house late the next morning as a car pulls up. Zoom in to reveal that the car is Trent's. Trent and Jane get out and go to the door.)

TRENT: You ring it, Janey.

JANE: You ring it. This was your idea.

(Trent sighs and nervously pushes the doorbell. The maid opens the door and looks at the two disdainfully.)

MAID: Yes?

TRENT: Is, uh, Daria here?

(The maid immediately brightens.)

MAID: Ah, you are Daria's friends, then? Come in, come in.

(Trent and Jane look at each other, then follow the maid in. She leads them to the living room, then tells them to wait while she gets Daria.)

JANE: This place freaks me out. It's like living in the Addams Family's house.

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Dammit, Quinn, quit following me around!

JANE: I see that Daria's relationship with her sister is as healthy as ever.

(Daria comes into the room, still glaring, then stares in surprise when she sees Jane and Trent.)

DARIA: What are you doing here?

(She sits down in a chair near Jane's end of the sofa.)

TRENT: We thought you might want somebody here for the funeral. You know.

DARIA: I... well, thanks. But... you two drove three whole hours just for that?

JANE: (shrugs) We're your friends. 'Nuff said.

DARIA: (smiles weakly) Thanks. A lot. I really... (She breaks off.) I was just about to get ready for the funeral. Did you two bring any clothes?

(Jane and Trent look at each other.)

JANE: Oops.

(Daria stands up.)

DARIA: I've got some extra dresses. I guess you could wear one of them, Jane.

TRENT: What about me?

JANE: I don't think you and Daria are quite the same size, Trent.

(Daria and Trent glare at her.)

JANE: (innocently) What?

DARIA: There's some guy around here who might have a suit you could wear, Trent.

TRENT: What, he an uncle of yours or something?

DARIA: Uh, actually I'm not sure who he is. I just assumed that someone knew him. Anyway, his room is right down the hall. We can go ask.

(Trent and Jane get up and follow Daria to a nearby bedroom. Daria knocks on the door, which is answered by a skinny man of about thirty.)

DARIA: Travis, do you have an extra suit my friend can wear?

(Travis looks at Trent and breaks out into a big smile.)

TRAVIS: Sure, come on in.

(The three Lawndalians go into his bedroom which is painfully neat. Travis takes a suit out of the closet and hands it to Trent, still beaming.)

TRAVIS: Here. I packed a couple extras, just in case.

TRENT: Thanks, man.

TRAVIS: Anytime.

(Jane, Daria, and Trent leave his room and start up the stairs, with Daria a little in front of the others.)

JANE: Must be a shock having clean clothes for once, hunh, Trent?

TRENT: (ignoring her) Boy, Daria, you were right about people sucking up to you. That guy sure was happy to give me his suit.

DARIA: Actually, Travis is the one person who doesn't seem to care about the money. I'm not sure why he's here.

JANE: He sure was nice, thought.

DARIA: (hiding a smirk) He probably likes you, Trent.

(Trent stops in his tracks.)

TRENT: Hunh?

DARIA: Oh, guess I forgot to tell you. I think he's gay.

TRENT: I... er... (He blinks, then continues to follow the girls up the stairs.)

JANE: Gee, Trent, looks like nobody can resist you.

(Daria glares at Jane.)

TRENT: Well, any girl who wants me isn't going to have any competition from him.

(Jane gives Daria a knowing wink. Daria just glares some more, then stops at a doorway.)

DARIA: I don't think there's anyone in this room... you two can have it.

JANE: Oh goody. My own room in the Westing mansion.

TRENT: Guess I'll go ahead and change in here while you get Daria's dress, Janey.

(He starts to go into the room.)

JANE: Hey, better lock the door. You never know, Travis might have followed you up here!

(Trent glares and shuts the door in her face.)

(Cut to the church a few minutes before the funeral is to start. Daria, Trent, and Jane are standing outside.)

JANE: Aren't you going to be in the procession or something, Daria?

DARIA: I'm supposed to, but I told them I didn't want to do it. (She shrugs.) At least people let me do what I want now.

(They go into the church where most of the pews are filled with people.)

DARIA: Let's sit in the back.

(Jane and Trent don't question her. Jane moves into a row in the very back of the church, leaving Daria to sit between her and Trent. Just as they sit down, the organ music starts and the Morgendorffers begin to file in. Daria glares as she notices that most of them are crying. The minister steps up to the pulpit to begin the service.)

JANE: (whispering to Daria) You doing okay?

DARIA: (whispering back) Yeah, I'm fine.

(Throughout the service, Daria stares straight ahead without showing any emotion at all. Jane and Trent glance at her worriedly. After the service, Daria stands up to leave.)

DARIA: Will you two ride with us in the procession to the graveside service? I'm sure my parents will let you.

TRENT: Yeah, sure. Come on, Janey.

(They follow Daria outside and over to the Morgendorffer car, where Jake, Helen, and Quinn are waiting for Daria.)

DARIA: Mom, can Jane and Trent ride with us?

HELEN: (patronizingly) Of course, sweetie.

JAKE: Quinn, hop up front with Mom and Dad, okay?

(Quinn obliges, leaving Daria wedged between Jane and Trent in the backseat. On the way to the cemetary, Helen attempts to draw the Lanes into conversation.)

HELEN: It was awfully nice of you two to come all this way to be with Daria.

JANE: Uh, yeah.

JAKE: It's nice to see her making good friends, you know.

TRENT: Um, thanks Mr. Morgendorffer.

JAKE: Call me Jake, son. Call me Jake.

(Luckily for Daria and the Lanes, the cemetary isn't very far away. The six Lawndalians get out of the car and walk over to the tent where the casket is covered. Daria hangs back at the fringe of the crowd. As the service begins, Trent glances at Daria and sees two tears running down her face. After making sure that Jane isn't watching, he takes Daria's hand and squeezes it gently. Daria looks at him in surprise, then gratefully. Trent lets go of her hand and puts his arm around her. Giving in for once, Daria leans against him. Jane notices them and turns her head, hiding a small smile.)

(Cut to Jane and Trent's room later that night. Jane and Daria are sitting cross-legged on the bed, and Trent is sitting on the couch.)

TRENT: ...and so Jesse decides it would be really cool to jump off the stage at the end of the song. The problem was, he didn't look where he was jumping and he landed on top of this real goth looking girl. She spent ten minutes cussing him out and telling him what a loser he was!

DARIA: (laughs) Jane, that sounds like Andrea. You think it was her?

JANE: (shrugs) Coulda been. I wish I hadn't missed the gig that night. (She looks at Trent and smirks.) Why don't you tell Daria about your little adventure with the stage?

TRENT: (blushes) No, Janey.

JANE: Fine then. I will.

TRENT: Jane--

JANE: See, Trent had his eyes shut in the middle of some song, and he accidentally knocked the mic over. Then he tripped over it and fell off the stage. (She starts laughing.) I've never seen--anyone--so humiliated--

(Daria tries not to laugh, but starts snickering in spite of herself. Trent tries to look hurt, but doesn't succeed.)

TRENT: (playfully) If you two don't quit abusing me, I'll just go find somewhere else to sleep.

(Jane starts laughing even harder.)

JANE: I'm sure--Travis will--put you up for the night!

(She falls over on her side laughing. Daria looks at her, smirking.)

DARIA: I think someone forgot to take her medication today.

(Jane finally stops laughing and sits up.)

JANE: Actually, I'm kind of hungry. I think I'll go see what they have to eat around here.

DARIA: You need help finding the kitchen?

(Jane stands up and waves Daria away with her hand.)

JANE: Nah, I think I can make it. You stay here and entertain Trent.

(Ignoring Daria's glare, Jane leaves the room.)

TRENT: So, uh... you're going home tomorrow, right?

DARIA: Yeah. Thank God. I don't think I could stand it here any longer.

TRENT: Yeah, I know what you mean. You want to ride back with me and Janey?

DARIA: (wryly) Trent. You're talking about a choice between riding with you and Jane or riding with my family. You have to ask what I want to do?

(Trent laughs a little.)

TRENT: Yeah, silly me.

DARIA: You know, it's weird. It seems like I've been gone forever. And I actually want to go home. I can't believe I'm looking forward to seeing Lawndale again. (She looks down and sighs.)

TRENT: Well, you've been through a lot lately. And here you keep getting reminded of her, and... (He breaks off as Daria's shoulders start shaking.) Oh hell, I'm sorry, Daria. I shouldn't have--

DARIA: N-no... it's not...

(Embarrassed, she takes off her glasses and starts wiping at her eyes, but it's no use because she can't stop crying. Trent suddenly gets up and sits down beside her on the bed, putting his arms around her.)

(Cut to about thirty minutes later as Jane finally wanders back from the kitchen. She quietly enters the room to find Daria asleep on the bed, with Trent still holding her. Trent looks up and blushes as Jane comes in.)

TRENT: I... uh...

JANE: Better not move. She might not be able to get back to sleep if we wake her up.

TRENT: (relieved and grateful) Yeah, you're right.

(Jane lies down on the couch.)

JANE: G'night Trent.

TRENT: 'Night Janey. See you in the morning.

(Cut to early the next morning. Daria slowly opens her eyes, then blushes as she realizes that she was sleeping next to Trent. She gets up quietly and goes back to her own room to get her suitcase. In the hall, she is met by Helen.)

HELEN: Daria, sweetie, we're leaving in about thirty minutes.

DARIA: Um, actually, Mom, I was going to ride back with Jane and Trent.

HELEN: That's fine, dear. (pointedly) You know, Daria, Trent seems like a very nice young man.

DARIA: (thought VO) Great, not her too. As if Jane wasn't bad enough. (out loud, quickly) Yeah, he's great, I've got to get packed, see you at home.

(She quickly ducks into her room, leaving Helen in the hall, looking puzzled.)

(Cut to the Lanes' room later that morning. Trent and Jane have managed to drag themselves awake. Trent picks up Travis's suit.)

TRENT: Soon as I take this back we can go. Have you seen Daria?

JANE: (shrugs) Nope. I'll go find her while you tell Travis goodbye.

(Jane smirks and leaves the room. Trent rolls his eyes. Cut to Jane sticking her head in Daria's room.)

JANE: Daria?

(The room is empty. Jane looks puzzled and starts wandering the halls. There is nobody in sight. Finally she reaches Sarah's room. Looking inside, she sees Daria sitting on the chair by the empty bed. Jane enters the room hesitantly.)

JANE: Uh, Daria? We're about ready to go. (She looks around nervously.) Everyone else is gone.

DARIA: You and Trent go on out to the car. I'll be there in a minute.

JANE: Okay. (She starts to leave, then adds) Take your time.

(Cut to Jane and Trent sitting in his car.)

TRENT: I'm kind of worried about Daria. I've never seen her act like this before.

JANE: Neither have I, actually. I think... well, she just doesn't get close to many people, and when she does it hits her really hard. (She shrugs.) She'll be all right.

TRENT: (sighs) I hope so.

(Jane looks at him suspiciously, then sees Daria walking to the car. She gets in next to Jane without a word.)

TRENT: Ready?

DARIA: Yeah. I'm ready.

(Cut to shot of the exterior of Sarah's house as Trent's car drives away. Cut to the inside of the car later on as Jane switches on the radio. "Come On Eileen" is playing.)

JANE: Oh boy. Some songs were just made for road trips. (She begins singing along with the radio.) Say too-ra-loo-ra too-ra-loo-rye-aye... And we can sing just like our fathers... Come on, Eileen, oh, I swear well he means at this moment, you mean everything... (She breaks off and makes a face.) Save Ferris's cover of this is better than this version.

TRENT: (disdainfully) Save Ferris? Please Janey, how about someone who sings real music?

JANE: (defensively) Ska is real music, for your information!

TRENT: Not in my opinion. It sounds like... like circus music.

JANE: Oh, and I suppose you think whining while you play a few chords on a guitar is real music?

TRENT: (grins) Of course it is!

JANE: C'mon, Daria, back me up here. Tell Trent that ska is a perfectly legitimate genre.

DARIA: Uh... what's ska?

JANE: (sighs) Never mind. (She perks up.) Hey Trent, stop at this gas station. I need a doughnut fix.

TRENT: You've been spending too much time around Jesse.

(He pulls over and Daria gets out of the car to let Jane out.)

JANE: Be right back!

(She goes into the gas station, while Daria gets back into her seat by the window. Not knowing what to say, she and Trent both sit awkwardly until Jane returns, laden with doughnuts. Daria starts to get out of the car again, but Jane stops her.)

JANE: Just scoot over. It's my turn for a window seat.

(Daria glares, but moves over closer to Trent so Jane can get in. Trent starts the car.)

JANE: Anyone want a doughnut?

DARIA: No thanks.

TRENT: Pass me one, Janey.

(He holds the doughnut in his teeth while he starts to drive off. Daria looks at him and starts snickering. Trent looks at her quizzically.)

TRENT: (muffled around doughnut) Whaa?

(Daria nudges Jane who looks at Trent and cracks up.)

TRENT: Whaa ith tho funny?

(Jane suddenly looks panicked.)

JANE: Watch the road!

(Trent looks foward suddenly, realizing that he'd run off the road. He swerves quickly back on, then finishes taking a bite off the doughnut.)

JANE: I guess these things should come with a warning.

DARIA: Yeah. Like "Do not operate heavy machinery while consuming."

(Jane and Daria start laughing.)

TRENT: Is this "Pick on Trent Week" or something?

JANE: (soothingly) Don't worry, Trent, we still love you. Don't we, Daria?

(Daria blushes.)

DARIA: (mumbling) Uh... yeah...

(Cut to much later, as Trent pulls up in front of Daria's house. Jane gets out of the car to let Daria out, then gets back in.)

TRENT: Guess I'll see you, Daria. (concerned) Will you be okay?

DARIA: Yeah. I'll be all right. Thanks. Both of you.

JANE: Have fun being waited on hand and foot by your family.

DARIA: (rolls her eyes) Yeah. Whatever. Hey, Jane, don't mention this... money thing to anyone, will you? The last thing I wanted is everyone treating me weird.

JANE: No problem. I wouldn't worry about it. There's no way anyone will find out.

(Cut to Quinn on the phone inside the Morgendorffer house.)

QUINN: Sandi? You won't believe this. Daria's rich!




CHAPTER TWO


(Scene opens as Daria walks inside her house with her suitcase. She passes Quinn in the living room.)

QUINN: Sandi? I gotta go. I'll call you back. Bye!

(She hangs up the phone and stands up.)

QUINN: Daria, do you need any help unpacking? Want me to carry something?

DARIA: (irritated) No, Quinn, I'll get it myself.

(She walks upstairs.)

QUINN: (calling, cheerfully) Just trying to help!

(Cut to Daria going into her room. She sets down the suitcase with a sigh, then lies down on her bed.)

HELEN: (calling, offscreen VO) Daria! You want some lunch?

(Fade to another shot exactly the same as the first.)

HELEN: (calling, offscreen VO) Daria, dinner's ready!

(Fade to another shot of the same.)

HELEN: (calling, offscreen VO) Daria, your father and I are going to bed. (She pauses, then continues right outside Daria's door.) Daria? You've been in there an awfully long time. Is everything all right?

DARIA: (flatly) I'm fine.

(Helen opens the door and sits on the foot of Daria's bed. Daria sits up and looks vaguely resentful.)

HELEN: Honey, you know it's okay to be sad.

DARIA: (glares) No, I thought it was punishable by death.

HELEN: Daria, you know what I mean. You don't show your emotions much, and I don't want you to think that anyone will think less of you for being upset now.

DARIA: (shortly) I'm fine, Mom.

HELEN: (sighs again) All right. (She gets up.) But if you want to talk about anything, your father and I are always ready to listen to you.

DARIA: (thought VO) Yeah, sure. (out loud) I think I'm just going to go to bed.

HELEN: All right, sweetie.

(She leaves the room and quietly shuts the door. Cut to Daria in bed later that night. She tosses and turns a long time, then finally gets up and puts on her glasses. Leaving her room, she goes down the hall to the bathroom. Once there, she looks in the mirror and sighs. Quinn enters the bathroom, yawning.)

QUINN: Daria? What are you doing up?

DARIA: I couldn't sleep. (She looks at Quinn suspiciously.) What are you doing up?

QUINN: (yawns again) I forgot to use my cucumber facial moisturizer again.

DARIA: (glares) Quinn, you don't need moisturizer.

QUINN: That's the point, Daria, so that I won't need it in the future!

DARIA: Er, sure.

(She starts to leave.)

QUINN: Uh, Daria?

DARIA: Yeah?

QUINN: Why can't you sleep?

DARIA: (sighs) I just keep... thinking.

QUINN: (brightens) I know just the thing! Hang on!

(She runs to her room. Daria, looks bemused, waits until Quinn returns, carrying her large smiley face pillow. She hands it Daria.)

DARIA: What's this for?

QUINN: To help you sleep!

DARIA: (looks down at the smiley) Uhh... may I ask how this is supposed to help?

QUINN: Sometimes you get lonely sleeping alone and need a little company. (She smiles.) You can keep him as long as you need to.

DARIA: Er, thanks.

(She goes back to her room with the smiley and sits down on the bed. She looks at the smiley.)

DARIA: So you're supposed to keep me company. (She frowns.) Then why do I feel like you're laughing at me?

(She sighs and lies down. She starts to put the smiley on the floor, then changes her mind and puts her arm around it.)

DARIA: Well, you can't hurt. (Her eyes start to close.) In fact... you're kind of... comfortable... (After a moment she falls asleep.)

(Cut to breakfast at the Morgendorffers' the next morning. Daria is picking at her cereal.)

HELEN: Daria, honey, I was thinking. Maybe you need something to take your mind off of... things.

DARIA: (dubiously) Like what?

HELEN: How about you and Quinn take a little vacation somewhere? You could use some of your money.

DARIA: A vacation? Us?

QUINN: (hopefully, to Helen) Without you?

HELEN: Well, you girls are old enough to go somewhere by yourself. Don't you think so, Jake?

JAKE: What?

DARIA: Er... where would we go?

HELEN: How about Disney World?

(Cut to close-up of Daria. She looks horrified.)

DARIA: Disney World?

(Cut back to show the whole family.)

HELEN: Why not? It's supervised, with plenty of activities. You girls could spend a week or so there.

DARIA: (narrows her eyes) Mom, what's this about?

HELEN: Why, Daria, I just think it's a nice idea, that's all.

QUINN: (excitedly) Can I bring a couple friends?

HELEN: I don't see why not. Although I suppose you should ask Daria. After all, it's her money.

DARIA: But I haven't even said yes yet!

QUINN: Oh, come on, Daria! It'll be fun.

DARIA: (sighs) I'll think about it.

(Cut to Daria sitting on one of the sofas in the living room, reading, as Quinn comes in and sits down next to her.)

QUINN: Daria, aren't you going to tell Mom yes?

DARIA: I don't know. Doesn't it seem kind of suspicious to you? Mom sending us off to the most expensive place on Earth, unsupervised?

QUINN: Well, for one thing, it's your money, so they're not out anything. And besides, don't you remember that Mom gets like this every August? She wants to get rid of us. Duh!

(Daria looks surprised.)

DARIA: Quinn, that's actually... good thinking. I'm impressed.

QUINN: Besides, who cares if it's suspicious or not? There'll be guys there! I've heard the ones who work there are really cute.

DARIA: (sardonically) Gee, my mind's made up.

QUINN: Great!

(She hops off the sofa and runs off. Daria watches her go.)

DARIA: Maybe I shouldn't have said that...

(Cut to later that afternoon. Split screen of Daria on the phone with Jane.)

DARIA: I just don't know. I mean, Disney World? That's the one place which goes against everything I believe in.

JANE: Quinn does have a point, though. Who cares where it is. You'll have a whole week to do whatever you want.

DARIA: I guess...

(Cut to Daria only.)

HELEN: (offscreen, calling) Daria?

DARIA: I gotta go. I'll see you later.

(She hangs up and goes downstairs. She stops and stares. The Fashion Club is assembled in the living room, along with the three J's and Brittany and Kevin. Helen looks a little overwhelmed.)

DARIA: What's going on?

BRITTANY: Hi Daria! (She hops up and runs over to Daria.) Are you really taking us to Disney World?

DARIA: I... (She narrows her eyes and grabs Quinn's arm, dragging her off to one side.) What'd you tell them?

QUINN: Oh, I just told Stacy that we might be going, then she told Tiffany, who told Sandi, then I guess Sandi told Brittany or something, really I don't know how everyone found out, but here they are, so what can you do?

(She shrugs, smiles, and rejoins the group. Daria turns to Helen, glaring.)

DARIA: Mom, all of them can't go!

HELEN: Well, why not?

DARIA: I--

(She is interrupted by the doorbell. Daria opens the door to find Jodie and Mack standing there.)

JODIE: (noticing the other people) Uh, is this a bad time?

DARIA: (sardonically) Not at all. Come on in.

(She turns back to the group as Jodie and Mack join them.)

DARIA: I--

STACY: (brightly) When are we leaving?

TIFFANY: Can the Fashion Club, like, get a room together?

BRITTANY: (dreamily) Are we going to fly in an airplane?

(Daria looks at all the excited people and sighs.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Regret is not strong enough a word to describe how I'm going to feel about this. (out loud, resignedly) Is everyone free next week?

(Cut to Jane's room later. Jane is on the bed sketching, while Daria is in a chair, moping.)

JANE: I can't believe you're taking eleven people with you to Disney World.

DARIA: Make it twelve. You didn't really think I'd leave you behind, did you?

JANE: Of course not. You have to have somebody to help you make sarcastic jokes. (She puts down her notebook.) As long as we're talking about this many people, you don't think a couple extra heads will matter, do you?

DARIA: Are you planning on growing some?

JANE: I was just thinking that you could take Jesse and Trent too.

(Daria flushes a little.)

DARIA: Why?

JANE: We need someone to even out the bimbo to non-bimbo ratio for one thing. Besides...

DARIA: (sighs) I know, I know. It's a perfect chance for me to bond with Trent.

JANE: Actually, I was going to say that I wanted to have Jesse around. But you do have a point. (She smirks.) Come on, Daria, I'm sure Trent would love to go. (She stands up.) He and Jess are practicing right now. Let's go ask.

DARIA: Remind me to kill my mother for suggesting this stupid trip in the first place.

(Cut to Daria and Jane walking down the stairs to the Lane basement. Trent and Jesse are wailing along on their guitars, but they stop when they notice the girls.)

JANE: Trent, Daria has a proposition for you.

(Daria glares at Jane.)

TRENT: (looks at Daria) Yeah?

DARIA: (looking down) My, uh, mom suggested that me and Quinn go on this vacation using the money Aunt Sarah left me. Quinn invited a ton of people to go with us, so I was wondering if you two wanted to go with us.

TRENT: Sounds great.

JESSE: Cool.

TRENT: Where are we going?

DARIA: (blushes a little) Disney World. It was my mom's idea.

JESSE: Aw, cool! I've always wanted to go there.

(The other three give him an odd look.)

JESSE: What?

JANE: We're flying out Monday, so you'd better start packing.

JESSE: Cool.

(He walks out of the basement.)

JANE: Uh, maybe I'd better catch him before he walks out in front of a car.

(She follows Jesse.)

TRENT: You doing okay, Daria?

DARIA: (shyly) Yeah.

TRENT: That's good. I was kind of worried about you.

DARIA: (surprised but pleased) Thanks.

TRENT: Guess I'll see you Monday then.

DARIA: Yeah. See you Monday.

(Cut to late Sunday morning. Daria is in her room, packing. A suitcase sits on the floor next to the bed as she is putting two books into her backpack. The phone rings; as Daria picks up, cut to split screen with Jane, who is stuffing art supplies into a bag.)

JANE: Hey. I asked Trent about using the Tank. Max is out of town anyway, so he won't care.

DARIA: Jane, are you sure it's a good idea? The only direct flight to Orlando Mom could get us is from an airport about an hour away. You think the Tank can make it?

JANE: Daria, we're flying out at 7:00 in the morning. It's not the Tank I'm worried about. Is everyone meeting at your house?

DARIA: Yeah. I figure we'd better leave here at five, and--

JANE: Five? Daria, are you out of your mind?

DARIA: Look, if the plane leaves at seven, we have to get to the airport at six.

JANE: If we have a wreck when Trent falls asleep at the wheel, your mother'd better be prepared to defend herself very thoroughly in court. (She sighs.) Okay, we'll be there a few minutes early.

DARIA: Okay. See you.

(Cut to a shot of only Daria. She hangs up the phone as Quinn sticks her head in the door.)

QUINN: Daria, have you seen my shorts? The short ones?

DARIA: What other kind do you have?

QUINN: (exasperated) Never mind.

(The phone rings again, and Quinn pounces on it.)

QUINN: Hello? Oh, hi Joey. I already told you, our seats on the plane are assigned, so I don't know if I can sit by you or not. No, Joey. (She sighs.) All right, I'll try. Good*bye, Joey.

(She hangs up.)

DARIA: This looks like it'll be an interesting trip.

QUINN: What's the luggage limit on the plane?

DARIA: Two suitcases, one carry-on.

QUINN: (horrified) What?!? No one can fit a week's worth of decent clothes into two suitcases!

DARIA: I fit a week's worth of clothes into one.

QUINN: I rest my case. (She sighs melodramatically.) I guess I'll have to try to squeeze some clothes into my carry-on... (She drifts from the room.)

(Cut to the Morgendorffer living room at four-thirty the next morning. Daria is sitting on one of the sofas with her suitcase and backpack beside her. Quinn is on the other sofa surrounded by two big suitcases and a huge duffel bag. Helen is sitting by Quinn, with her head tilted back and her eyes closed. She is snoring slightly. There is the sound of a horn honking outside as she jumps awake.)

HELEN: Do you girls have everything packed?

DARIA: (deadpan) Got my toothbrush and plenty of underwear. I'm all set.

(They go outside; it is still dark. The Tank is parked in front of the house, and Trent, Jesse, and Jane are standing beside it. Jane looks dead to the world, but Trent and Jesse are as perky as ever [not that that's saying much].)

QUINN: (horrified) We're riding in that?

DARIA: Quinn, it's the only vehicle in Lawndale big enough to hold 15 people.

TRENT: We're gonna have to tie the luggage on top, you know.

QUINN: (wide-eyed) My suitcases? On top? But they'll get dirty!

DARIA: We'll just tie you on top then.

(Trent starts snickering.)

HELEN: (glares) Daria!

(Trent quickly stops laughing.)

TRENT: We'd better get the stuff tied. Give me a hand, Jess.

JESSE: Sure.

(Trent picks up Daria's suitcase, leaving Jesse to get Quinn's. Daria turns to Jane.)

DARIA: Let me guess. They stayed up all night, didn't they?

JANE: Yeah. (She yawns.) Maybe I should have too.

HELEN: Now, girls, I want you to behave yourselves. Either write or call us every day and don't get into any trouble.

(Daria looks embarrassed.)

QUINN: (exasperated) Yes, Mother.

(Helen looks teary-eyed, but luckily refrains from commenting on how fast her little darlings are growing up. Quinn and Daria each reluctantly give Helen a hug before she goes back inside.)

JANE: Lucky her. She gets to go back to bed.

TRENT: Quit complaining, Janey. You can sleep on the plane.

(They look up as Brittany pulls up by the curb. Daria looks at Jane.)

DARIA: This is really happening, isn't it. I'm really going to spend a week in a place built completely around a cartoon mouse with the same people I spend nine months of every year in a classroom with.

JANE: (yawns) Wake me when it's over.

(Cut to five o'clock. Everyone has gathered, and a huge amount of luggage is tied to the top of the Tank. Jane peers up at it.)

JANE: Trent, do you really think you can drive this thing without it tipping over?

TRENT: Don't you have any faith in me at all?

JANE: Not really.

SANDI: Are we going to have to, like, sit on the floor in that thing?

TRENT: Unless you're in the passenger seat you are.

SANDI: I've got shotgun, then!

QUINN: No, I want shotgun!

BRITTANY: I don't want to sit on the floor! I want shotgun!

TRENT: (looks at Daria) Actually, Daria should get shotgun. It's her vacation, anyway.

(The other girls glare but don't argue. As everyone gets in the back of the Tank, Daria turns to Trent.)

DARIA: Thanks.

TRENT: (shrugs) Don't mention it.

(He gets in the driver's seat. Daria smiles ever-so-slightly and goes around to the passenger side. Cut to a shot of the inside of the Tank. It is crammed with people. Jane and Jesse are sitting right behind the front seats.)

JESSE: I hope it'll start.

JANE: What? It's not going to start?

TRENT: Sometimes it has, uh, problems with full loads.

JANE: Well gee, thanks for telling us!

(Trent manages to get the Tank started. It rolls off down the street.)

TRENT: I think it's okay.

JANE: It'd better be if you want to make it to Florida in one piece. (She yawns again and leans against Jesse.) G'night.

DARIA: Jane, it's morning.

JANE: If the sun's not up it isn't. Good night.

(She and Jesse are soon asleep. Daria turns around and looks at the others. Kevin has his head tilted back and is snoring loudly. Brittany is babbling to Jodie excitedly about the trip. The three J's are fawning over Quinn, Sandi is glaring, Tiffany and Stacy are talking, and Mack is drifting off to sleep. Daria turns around again with a little smirk.)

TRENT: (conversationally) What time is the plane supposed to land?

DARIA: I'm not sure. I'll look on my ticket when we get to the airport. It's a pretty long flight, though.

TRENT: I hope they serve breakfast. I'm starved. (He glances in the rear-view mirror at the crowd in the back.) Looks like everyone's pretty excited. Everyone who's awake anyway.

DARIA: Yeah. Well, I guess a whole week on an unsupervised vacation, right before school starts again... Much as I hate to admit it, it's... well, a good idea. (darkly) Although a week with some of these people isn't exactly my idea of a good time.

TRENT: I know what you mean. Your sister's friends scare me. But the cool people more than make up for it.

DARIA: (smirks) By "cool", I hope you aren't referring to our little stereotypical popular friends back there.

TRENT: (grins) Actually I was talking about you and me.

(Daria looks surprised, then smiles.)

DARIA: Thanks.

(Cut to about 45 minutes later. Jane stirs and opens one eye. Now everyone in the back of the Tank is asleep. Jane sits up and looks at Daria. She's gone to sleep against the window.)

JANE: (softly) Hey Trent, we there yet?

TRENT: Almost.

(Jane nudges Jesse.)

JESSE: (mumbling) But Mom, I don't want to get a job.

JANE: (wryly) Yo, Jess. Wake up.

(Jesse blinks and sits up.)

JESSE: Whoa.

(Daria wakes up and yawns.)

TRENT: We're almost there.

DARIA: (sardonically) Goodie. Now we only have eight more hours of travel ahead of us.

(Cut to a shot of the Tank pulling up into the airport parking lot. Everyone climbs out of the van in varying degrees of sleepiness, then Jesse and Trent start unloading the luggage. Cut to shot of Brittany and Kevin standing with Jodie and Mack.)

BRITTANY: Ooh, Kevvie, aren't you excited? (She beams.) I've heard that Disney World can be really romantic!

KEVIN: (grins) Yeah, babe.

BRITTANY: And there're lots of dark, scary rides, too!

KEVIN: Dark? Really? (He grins.) Cool!

(Jodie and Mack exchange Looks.)

(Cut to shot of Quinn, with the Fashion Club behind her. The three J's are gathered around her.)

JOEY: Can I carry your luggage, Quinn?

JEFFY: No, I want to carry it!

JAMIE: Let me carry it, Quinn, please?

QUINN: (laughs patronizingly) All right. Here. Each of you can carry a bag.

(The boys each grab one of Quinn's bags, then all four start off towards the building. Sandi glares.)

SANDI: (loudly) I could use some help with my bags, too!

(She gets no response. Glaring even more, she picks up her suitcases and stomps after Quinn. Tiffany and Stacy look at each other, shrug, and follow.)

(Cut to the group entering the airport. They get several odd looks as they go check their luggage, then proceed to the metal detectors. Trent is the last of the group to go through. The detector beeps and attendant stops Trent.)

ATTENDANT: Take off your jewelry and try again.

(After a long process in which Trent removes his earrings, necklace, and rings, he re-enters the detector. It beeps.)

ATTENDANT: Empty your pockets.

(Trent dumps a handful of change, paperclips, guitar picks, and one smooshed Hershey's Kiss still in its foil on the counter and tries again. The dectector beeps.)

ATTENDANT: Do you have any sort of metal implants?

TRENT: Uh, no.

DARIA: What about the one the aliens put in the back of your neck?

(Jane, Jesse, and Trent snicker. The attendant glares, then picks up a hand-held detector and runs it over Trent. It beeps near his foot.)

ATTENDANT: Take your shoe off.

JANE: Are you sure that's a good idea?

(Trent glares at Jane and removes his shoe. He looks surprised and pulls out his car keys.)

TRENT: I was wondering where those got to.

(He puts his shoe back on and gathers up his belongings.)

TRENT: Let's go.

(The group moves off. The attendant sighs and shakes her head.)

(Cut to the gate where the flight to Orlando is taking off. The sun is just coming up and shining through the large windows. Jane, Trent, Daria, and Jesse are talking in a small group.)

JANE: Hey Daria, what seat are you?

DARIA: (looks at her ticket) 5A. What about you?

JANE: All the way back on 9C. Jesse--

TRENT: (interrupting) Hey Janey, you got any Tylenol?

(Jane looks a little puzzled but rummages in her backpack and pulls out a bottle.)

JANE: Here. What's wrong?

TRENT: Killer headache. I'll see you guys on the plane. (walks off)

JANE: (looks after him) That sure came on suddenly. Anyway, Jesse was up on row 3 and Kevin had the seat next to mine, but I convinced Kevin to trade with Jess.

DARIA: How'd you manage that?

JANE: (shrugs) I just told him that being closer to the front means he gets Coke and peanuts faster.

ANNOUNCER: Delta flight 426 to Orlando is now boarding. First class passengers are now welcome aboard. Repeat, first class passengers for flight 426 may now board. Thank you.

JANE: All aboooooard!

(They start moving toward the gate. Daria and Jesse go on ahead, but Jane stops when she sees Trent talking to Brittany. Jane moves a little closer.)

BRITTANY: ...but why don't you want to sit in the front?

TRENT: I... just thought you'd like to be near your boyfriend.

BRITTANY: But Kevin's on the third row now, and your seat is on the first!

TRENT: (nervously) I, uh, also heard that they give out free compacts on Delta flights, but they go pretty fast. They might, uh, run out by the time they get all the way back to the fifth row.

BRITTANY: Really? Free makeup? It's a deal!

(She beams brightly and walks toward the gate. Jane walks up to Trent.)

JANE: (pointedly) I thought you had a headache.

TRENT: It's better now.

JANE: Yeah. Good thing you traded seats. Wouldn't want the fumes from the free makeup to give you another one.

(Cut to interior of the plane. Daria walks down the aisle and sits down in row 5. Jesse moves past her, then Trent takes the seat beside Daria. She looks at him in surprise.)

TRENT: You got the window seat. Lucky.

(Jane moves past them, gives Daria a knowing wink, then continues to the back of the plane.)

DARIA: I didn't know you were on the same row as me.

TRENT: Yeah. Row 5.

(They're both quiet for a moment.)

DARIA: You really want the window seat?

TRENT: Nah.

DARIA: Oh.

(The flight attendant steps up to the front of the plane and speaks through the little phone thingie.)

ATTENDANT: Hi everyone, and welcome aboard Delta flight 426 to Orlando! I'm Vicki, one of your stewardesses today, and I'm going to go over your safety instructions with you.

DARIA: (quietly) In the event of an emergency, scream like hell, and die.

(Trent laughs. Cut to Jane and Jesse.)

JANE: Hey Jess... has Trent revealed any deep, dark secrets to you lately or anything?

JESSE: Hunh?

JANE: Like... I dunno... say, told you who he's madly in love with, for instance?

JESSE: No. Why?

JANE: Oh, no reason... Just curious...

JESSE: Cool.

(There is a long pause. Jane looks at Jesse sideways.)

JANE: You promise not to say a word to anyone, especially not Trent? (not waiting for an answer) Okay, see, Daria has had this huge crush on Trent for like forever, and I want to know if he likes her back.

JESSE: (surprised) Daria?

JANE: It's pretty scary once you start thinking about it. But the thing is... I think he's into her. Like this morning, once he found out where she was sitting, he actually traded seats to be next to her.

JESSE: (quietly) Oh.

JANE: Say, would you mind keeping an eye on Trent on this trip? Just to see how he acts.

JESSE: Yeah.

JANE: Thanks, Jess.

(She smiles. Jesse's shoulders droop a little.)

JESSE: Yeah.

(Cut back to the flight attendant.)

ATTENDANT: Okay, does anyone have any questions? (Brittany raises her hand.) Yes?

BRITTANY: When do you hand out the free makeup?

(Cut back to Daria and Trent as the plane begins to taxi forward slowly.)

TRENT: (smirks) Got your seat belt buckled?

DARIA: You bet.

(As she looks out the window, cut to her POV. The sun has finally risen and is casting slanted light on the runway, which already has several planes lined up for takeoff. Cut back to Daria and Trent.)

TRENT: I always liked flying. It's just kinda... cool.

DARIA: (still looking out the window) Yeah.

(The plane lifts off of the runway, and Daria and Trent are pressed back into their seats.)

DARIA: (still looking out the window) Everything looks so... insignificant. All the houses and stuff are getting smaller and smaller. It makes you realize how unimportant we really are. (She suddenly looks embarrassed.) I guess that's kind of stupid.

TRENT: Nah, it's not. I know what you mean.

(He leans across Daria to join her in looking out the window. Daria looks surprised, but pleased. Trent glances at her and smiles.)

TRENT: I think this is going to be a pretty good trip.

(Daria smiles, just a little.)

DARIA: So do I.

(Cut to about half an hour later. Trent appears to be asleep. Daria looks at him, then returns to the book she was reading. Trent opens one eye and looks at her. He smiles, then shuts his eyes again. Daria looks up as the flight attendants begin making their rounds with breakfast. She nudges Trent, who pretends to wake up.)

TRENT: (yawns) What?

DARIA: Breakfast.

TRENT: Oh good. (He sits up straight.) 'Sabout time.

(The stewardess stops the cart by Trent.)

STEWARDESS: (perkily) Would you two care for some breakfast?

(Daria starts to say something sarcastic, then decides that it isn't worth it. The stewardess hands them trays with muffins on them and orange juice, then moves on.)

TRENT: Muffins?

DARIA: What, you have something against blueberries?

TRENT: I'm just not the muffin type. You know.

DARIA: (wryly, as she opens her tray) Then what type of breakfast food are you?

TRENT: (smiles) Pancakes.

DARIA: (mutters) I should have known.

(Cut to Jesse and Jane as another stewardess brings them breakfast. Cut to a shot of Jane only as she starts eating her muffin.)

JANE: (around a mouthful of muffin) You know, I brought one of those guidebook things that tells you how to see everything at Disney World. I don't think we should undergo this without a little preparation.

(Cut to show both of them again.)

JESSE: Cool. (He looks at Jane's uneaten muffin.) Are you going to eat that?

JANE: Why don't you finish your own before--(She looks at Jesse's tray and sees that he's already eaten both muffins.) Damn.

(Cut to Quinn a little later. She is sitting between Kevin and Stacy, with Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie directly in front of her. [Needless to say, they are constantly turned around.] All four boys seem to be quite happy with the arrangement. Cut to Sandi sitting between Brittany and Tiffany in the front of the plane. Brittany and Sandi are looking back at Quinn and glaring.)

BRITTANY: Ooh, just look at her! She's such a little flirt!

SANDI: Yeah, it's, like, so unfair.

TIFFANY: And both of you are so much cuter than Quinn.

(The other two turn around to face forward again. Brittany looks upset.)

BRITTANY: What if she steals Kevvie from me?

SANDI: Don't worry. (She smiles evilly.) After this trip, none of them will look at her twice.

(Cut back to Daria and Trent. Daria is writing in her journal, and Trent is asleep with his headphones on--for real, this time. Daria looks at Trent in concern as he begins to move around and talk in his sleep.)

TRENT: Aunt Bernice, no! Please! Aaaaaaaaagggggg!

(Daria looks slightly amused.)

TRENT: Daria! Daria!

(Daria looks very surprised.)

TRENT: (smiles in his sleep) Daria...

(She reaches over and shakes him a little.)

DARIA: Trent! Trent, wake up. You're dreaming.

(Trent's eyes fly open.)

TRENT: I--uh--oh.

(He sits up, looking embarrassed, and takes off his headphones.)

DARIA: Nightmare?

TRENT: Yeah. (He shakes his head and grins ruefully.) I dreamed I was having to do a gig all by myself, but just when I started to play, the whole audience turned into my relatives. My uncle kept yelling that I was no good, then my aunt started throwing hats at me.

(Daria snickers.)

DARIA: Sounds pretty bad. (casually) How'd you manage to save yourself?

TRENT: (blushes a little) I... um... well, I kinda started crying, then they were all gone and I was in my room again. And, uh, you were there.

DARIA: (suppressing a smile) Really?

TRENT: Yeah. You assured me that I didn't deserve to have hats thrown at me. Then I... uh... woke up.

DARIA: (wryly) Glad to be of service.

TRENT: Yeah, well. (Changing the subject) What are you writing?

DARIA: Oh. Just my, uh, journal. (She smirks.) Thought I'd record the trip for posterity.

TRENT: (a little shyly) Can I see it?

DARIA: (surprised) Er, sure.

(Trent takes the notebook and reads out loud.)

TRENT: "August 10. Quinn and I got up at an ungodly hour so that we'd be ready to leave in time. Trent, Jesse, and Jane showed up a little after 4:30 with the Tank, which barely made it to the airport. Everyone got on the plane in one piece. So far the plane hasn't crashed and no one has turned out to have a deadly strain of the flu. There's still a chance that something exciting will happen though. Right now, things are pretty boring. I'm sitting by Trent. He went to sleep about 30 minutes ago and has shown no vital life signs since." (He quits reading and smirks.) Mind if I write something?

DARIA: Go ahead.

(She hands him her pen. He writes for a minute then hands the pen and journal back.)

DARIA: (reading) "Dear future Daria, Despite the comments by the present Daria, I am alive and well. Hope things are going well there in the future. Love, Trent." (She quits reading. wryly) You're too kind.

TRENT: (grins) Thanks.

DARIA: (after a moment, casually) You going back to sleep?

TRENT: Nah, not right now. They should be bringing lunch around soon.

DARIA: (smirks) I see where your priorities lie.

(Cut to later, as the attendants are taking up the empty trays after lunch. Quinn gets up from her seat and heads for the bathoom carrying her purse to fix her makeup. As she's leaving the bathroom, she passes Sandi, who leans over and begins whispering to Tiffany while glaring at Quinn. Quinn looks hurt as she makes her way back to her seat.)

STACY: Quinn, what's wrong?

QUINN: (still watching Sandi and Tiffany) I think Sandi's talking about me. (worriedly) Do I look all right?

STACY: Oh, you look great. I'm sure Sandi isn't talking about you.

QUINN: (not sounding convinced) I guess.

(Cut to Jane and Jesse again. Jane has the guidebook open and is busily taking notes.)

JANE: Okay, we should probably go to the Magic Kingdom tomorrow.

JESSE: Cool.

JANE: If we get up early enough, we can see Fantasyland and Adventureland in the morning, then go to Frontierland and Tomorrowland in the afternoon.

JESSE: Cool.

(Cut to close-up of Jane.)

JANE: And then the next day, maybe we could go to the movie studio thingie. And then go shopping. And the next day we could go to Epcot. How does that sound, Jesse? (No response.) Jesse?

(Cut to a shot of both. Jesse has fallen asleep.)

JANE: (wryly) Never mind.

(Cut back to Daria and Trent. Trent yawns.)

TRENT: I think I'm going to get some more sleep.

DARIA: I'm kind of tired myself.

TRENT: Want a pillow?

DARIA: Er, sure.

(Trent stands up and gets two pillows out of the overhead compartment. He sits down again and hands one to Daria.)

DARIA: Thanks.

(She puts the pillow up against the window and leans on it.)

TRENT: Uh, do you mind if I lean on you? (Daria looks surprised. Trent looks a little embarrassed.) I mean, the seat's kind of... uncomfortable and all.

DARIA: Um, go ahead.

TRENT: Thanks.

(He leans against Daria's shoulder and closes his eyes.)

TRENT: G'night.

DARIA: (wryly) Sweet dreams.

(She watches him sleep for a few minutes, then smiles. She puts her arm around him hesitantly, then closes her eyes.)

(Cut to mid-afternoon as the plane approaches the Orlando airport. The little seat-belt light starts dinging; it wakes Daria up. She sits up sleepily then realizes that Trent's still asleep against her. She shakes him a little.)

TRENT: (sleepily) Hmm?

DARIA: We're about to land.

TRENT: 'Kay.

(Not really waking up, he snuggles closer to Daria. She looks torn, but finally shakes him harder.)

DARIA: Trent, you have to wake up.

(Trent finally wakes up. He sits up reluctantly and yawns, then puts the pillow back overhead before fastening his seat belt.)

TRENT: Please make sure all seat backs and trays are in their upright positions.

(Daria smirks, then looks out the window as the plane starts to land. Finally it touches the ground with a bump.)

DARIA: (flatly) Florida.

TRENT: (flatly) Yay.

(Cut to the airport as the Lawndalians disembark from the plane. They claim their luggage, after Quinn and Sandi fight over whose suitcase is whose, then go outside.)

JANE: You think we should get taxis or a shuttle?

DARIA: I dunno. Taxis I guess.

JODIE: Won't it be expensive? It'll take four to hold us all.

SANDI: I am not going to ride on a bus if I don't have to. They're dirty.

JANE: (to Daria) Just wait until she sees the Disney transportation system. The Bus Tour of Terror. (She goes to the edge of the sidewalk and starts waving her arms.) Taxi! TAXI!

DARIA: (wryly) That's one way to hail a cab.

(The group manages to get four taxis, and they begin the long trek from the airport to their hotel. Cut to Daria's taxi. She is sitting in the front seat with the driver, while Jesse, Jane, and Trent are seated in the back.)

JANE: Hey, we're going to get there in time to do something tonight. Where do you want to go?

TRENT: Bed. (He yawns.)

JESSE: A restaurant.

DARIA: Someplace isolated.

JANE: Isolated? Daria, you're on the wrong trip.

(Cut to Quinn's taxi. She is sitting in the back seat between Joey and Jeffy, while Jamie is in the front with the driver. All of them, driver included, are fawning over Quinn. Cut to the taxi where the rest of the Fashion Club is riding.)

SANDI: I can't believe how Quinn is acting today.

TIFFANY: Yeah. For real.

STACY: (blankly) How is Quinn acting?

SANDI: You know. Like she thinks she's better than us or something.

STACY: I haven't noticed it.

SANDI: (disdainfully) You wouldn't.

TIFFANY: Yeah, we know how you follow Quinn around.

SANDI: You are, like, such a sheep, Stacy.

(Stacy looks hurt. Her shoulders droop, but she says nothing.)

(Cut back to Daria's taxi as it drives through the Magic Kingdom gates and turns off on the road leading to their hotel, the Grand Floridian.)

TRENT: This place is huge.

JANE: Wait until you see the hotel. It's supposed to be the biggest one here. (to Daria) Your mom actually did pretty good. First class plane seats, most expensive hotel in the place.

DARIA: Small price to pay for a whole week without me and Quinn around, I suppose.

(The taxis finally reach the hotel, where disturbingly chipper employees load the suitcases onto carts and wheel them off.)

QUINN: (calling) Be careful with those!

BELL BOY: (with a puppy-eyed look at Quinn) I will be, miss.

DARIA: (to Jane) Some things remain the same, no matter where you are.

(The group makes its way into the lobby. Daria goes up to the desk.)

DARIA: Uh, Morgendorffer. Party of fifteen.

(The girl at the desk looks shocked.)

GIRL: All of you are together?

DARIA: Yeah. Scary, isn't it.

(The girl starts handing out room key cards and Disney propaganda.)

GIRL: You're in rooms 5312-5315. That means you're in building five, the third floor, rooms twelve through fifteen. Enjoy your stay!

JANE: (to Daria) Do you think everyone here is this perky?

(Daria turns her head to see an exhausted mother dragging two whining kids behind her through the lobby.)

KID 1: (whining) But I wanted to see Mickey!

MOTHER: Maybe we'll see Mickey tomorrow.

KID 2: But I want to see him now! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

DARIA: (to Jane) Don't bet on it.




CHAPTER THREE


(Scene opens as the 15 Lawndalians are directed out into the garden of the hotel, where one of those little truck things is waiting to take them to their room. The only problem is that it seats about four people.)

DARIA: Um, we're going to need a couple more of these.

(The driver looks a little pale and immediately radios for backup. He then turns back to the group.)

DRIVER: I can take four of you on to your rooms if you want.

(Jane hops in the little truck and motions for Daria, Trent, and Jesse.)

JANE: C'mon!

(Trent and Jesse get in after her, but Daria looks around a little worriedly.)

DARIA: Maybe we should wait for the others.

(Right beside her, Brittany and Kevin start making out.)

DARIA: (deadpan) Never mind.

(She gets in the little truck and sits next to Jane, then they head off through the garden towards one of the buildings that house the rooms. Jane looks around with interest.)

JANE: Hey, this place is pretty nice.

DARIA: (wryly) Trent and Jesse certainly seem to think so.

(Cut to shot of the boys, who have both already fallen asleep. Cut back to Daria and Jane.)

JANE: So, got anything planned for today?

DARIA: No. We just got here.

JANE: Actually I've already made a few notes.

(She holds up a legal pad, completely covered in writing. Daria looks slightly taken aback.)

(Cut to shot of the building the Lawndalians' room is in as the little truck thing pulls up in front of it. Jane kicks at the boys, who wake up reluctantly and follow the girls inside. Cut to the interior of the building. The Lawndale Four find themselves in an open area in the middle of the building, which has a hallway of rooms leading off on either side. Looking up, one can see a few balconies with more halls of rooms leading off of them.)

JESSE: (looking straight up, with his head tilted back) Cool.

(Jane grabs him by the hand and starts dragging him off towards the elevators which are off to one side.)

JANE: Yes, cool, Jesse, let's go.

TRENT: (looks after Jane, vaguely surprised) She's excited.

DARIA: It's the end of the world as we know it, Trent.

(She follows Jane and Jesse to the elevators. Trent shrugs and walks after her.)

(Cut to the four as they disembark on the third floor and head for their designated rooms.)

TRENT: (reading room numbers) 53... 12. Here we are. (He looks at Daria.) Who's getting what room?

JANE: I've got it all figured out. Hang on. (She flips through her legal pad as the other three watch bemusedly.) Here we go. Um, how about me, Daria, Jodie, and Brittany in 12; Trent, Jesse, Mack, and Kevin in 13; Quinn, Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany in 14; and Joey, Jeffy, and that other guy in 15?

DARIA: Jane, do you realize that we'll be sharing a room with Brittany?

JANE: Would you rather put her and "Kevvie" in the same room?

DARIA: Good point.

(Cut to a little later. The rest of the Lawndalians have arrived and are in their rooms. Cut to Daria's and Jane's room, which adjoins to Trent's and Jesse's room by an inside door. The room contains two double beds and one day bed, as well as assorted tables and a TV. Brittany is sitting on the day bed, surrounded by two pink suitcases and her bunny backpack. Jodie is standing by the balcony door looking at a Disney brochure, and Jane is sitting on one of the beds with her legal pad and guidebook. Daria is sitting on the other bed diffidently with her backpack and suitcase.)

JODIE: (still reading brochure) This looks like fun. The Haunted Mansion.

BRITTANY: Oooh, a haunted house? (She shivers a little.) That sounds scary! If we ride that, Kevvie will have to hold my hand!

DARIA: Just your hand? That'll be a first.

(Trent opens the door connecting the two rooms and sticks his head through.)

TRENT: What are you girls gonna do? We were thinking about finding some place to eat.

JANE: (holds up her guidebook) Got a list of restaurants right here.

(Trent's eyes light up.)

TRENT: Cool. Let's go!

JODIE: What about the others?

DARIA: What, like the Fashion Club would actually eat something?

JODIE: (shrugs) Oh well.

(Cut to the FC's room, which adjoins to the 3J's room. It is full of suitcases and makeup bags.)

SANDI: Let's see. There are two big beds, and one little bed. If one person sleeps on the little bed, two can sleep in one big bed, and one can sleep in the other big bed.

STACY: (with a puzzled look) Wait, I'm confused.

QUINN: But who gets to sleep in the big bed by herself?

SANDI: Like, I think I should, because I am the Fashion Club president and everything. Don't you think so, Tiffany?

TIFFANY: Totally. Quinn, why don't you take the little bed?

QUINN: (horrified) But I'm vice-president!

STACY: Quinn's right, she should get to sleep in one of the big beds.

SANDI: (annoyed) All right, Stacy, if you don't think Quinn should get the little bed, then why don't you take it?

STACY: Me?

TIFFANY: Yeah, you, Stacy.

QUINN: Wait, why don't we put two people in each big bed? Then no one would have to sleep in the little bed.

SANDI: (glaring) Look, Quinn, do you want to, like, mess everything up or something? You can always, like, sleep in another room if you aren't happy with the rest of us.

QUINN: (looks at Stacy, then at Sandi) No, of course I'm happy in here, Sandi!

SANDI: (smugly) All right then. Stacy, you can sleep on the little bed.

(Stacy looks hurt, but says nothing.)

QUINN: (changing the subject) Hey, let's see if the boys want to go get something to eat!

(Immediately the 3J's burst through the inside door.)

JOEY: Sure, Quinn!

JEFFY: Want me to find a French restaurant here?

JAMIE: I'll... uh... buy you a steak!

(Behind Quinn's back, Sandi glares...)

(Cut to a small restaurant in the main building of the hotel as Daria, Jane, Trent, Jesse, Jodie, Brittany, Mack, and Kevin approach.)

JANE: This place looks pretty good.

TRENT: (looking at the menu posted on the wall) And pretty expensive.

JANE: (to Daria) Your dad would have a fit if he saw these prices. I can hear him now. "Ten dollars for a damn burger?!? What's the world coming to?"

JESSE: Burgers? Cool.

JODIE: This is Disney World. What did you expect?

KEVIN: Besides, Daria's paying for everything!

(Daria glares.)

(Cut to the Morgendorffer living room about an hour later. Helen is sitting on a sofa, surrounded with paper work as usual, while Jake is on the other sofa, looking rather pathetic.)

JAKE: Gosh, it sure is quiet without the girls here.

HELEN: I know, isn't it wonderful? (She glances up from her paperwork.) If I had to hear Quinn complain about being bored one more time--(She breaks off and shakes her head, then goes back to work.)

JAKE: I dunno, I sort of miss 'em.

HELEN: (not looking up) Jake, it's August. They've been out of school for two months. We need a vacation.

(Jake looks unconvinced, but before he replies, the phone rings. As he picks up, cut to split screen of him and Daria sitting on the hotel room bed.)

JAKE: Hullo?

DARIA: Hey Dad.

JAKE: (brightens) Hey, kiddo! How was the trip?

DARIA: Well, there was this one guy whom everyone thought had the flu, then he had a heart attack and died. After that, no one would let us land anywhere, and the Germans said--Oh, wait, that's in the book I'm reading. Our flight was fine.

JAKE: (oblivious) That's great! Is Quinn okay?

DARIA: She's almost flirted her way into a free five-day pass, if that's what you mean. (pauses) Is Mom there?

JAKE: Sure, hang on. (covers the mouthpiece with his hand) Helen, it's Daria.

(Cut to shot of Helen only, still not looking up.)

HELEN: Tell her I'll talk to her later.

(Cut back to split screen.)

JAKE: Uh, she's kind of busy.

DARIA: (looks vaguely miffed) Oh. I guess I'll just call tomorrow then.

JAKE: Okay, kiddo! Have fun!

DARIA: (deadpan) Thanks. I'll try not to overdo it. Bye, Dad.

(Cut to shot of Daria only as she hangs up the phone. Jane walks over to her.)

JANE: How're things on the homefront?

DARIA: (stands up) Dad is clueless and Mom is too immersed in her work to notice me. Same as always.

(Cut to shot of the girls' room. Brittany is opening one of her suitcases.)

BRITTANY: (calling) Kevvie, will you come help me unpack?

(Kevin walks into the girls' room through the open door.)

KEVIN: Sure, babe.

(He ambles over to the suitcase and peers in.)

KEVIN: (points) Ooh, what's that for?

BRITTANY: (giggles) It was supposed to be a surprise, babe!

(Daria looks at Jane.)

DARIA: I think now would be a good time to make our escape.

JANE: Brilliant strategy, that.

(They go into the guys' room, leaving Kevin and Brittany to the unpacking. Jodie is sitting on the daybed talking to Mack, Trent is digging through one of his bags, and Jesse is stretched out on another bed, already asleep.)

JANE: (looking at Jesse) That was fast.

TRENT: (stands up and yawns) You think that's quick? Watch this. (He starts to lie down on the other bed.)

JANE: Our first day here and you two are going to sleep it away?

TRENT: (pauses, thinking) Yeah. G'night, Janey. (He lies down and closes his eyes.)

(Jane rolls her eyes, then turns to Mack and Jodie.)

JANE: What about you two? Want to go somewhere?

(Jodie glances at Mack, then shrugs.)

JODIE: Sure. We could check out the hotel, anyway.

JANE: Daria?

DARIA: Well, I had my heart set on riding "It's a Small World" first thing, but I guess I can stand to wait.

(Cut to Jane, Daria, Jodie, and Mack walking into the main lobby of the hotel. Mack looks up at the far-away ceiling.)

MACK: This place sure is big.

(On a balcony on the second floor, a small orchestra begins playing.)

JANE: Oooh, nice touch.

(They make their way over to an elevator which goes to the second story. Its walls are glass, so they are able to see out into the lobby once inside. After getting off the elevator, they wander over to a gift shop.)

DARIA: Ah, more incentive to spend money on one of the world's largest corporations. What a concept.

JANE: Oh yeah? Why do you think Microsoft has released so many versions of Windows?

(They go inside, only to find themselves bombarded with clothing, stuffed animals, and every other type of merchandise possible short of large appliances.)

JODIE: (looking at a night shirt with Pooh on it) Aww, that's cute.

DARIA: Damn, she's been assimilated. It's too late to save her now.

(Jodie looks at Daria strangely and wanders off.)

JANE: Negative, are we?

DARIA: I'm just not comfortable with the entire Disney concept. I can think of places I'd rather be.

JANE: Such as?

DARIA: Uh... (beat) Can I have a minute?

(Jane goes over to a rack of postcards and begins picking some out.)

JANE: It's sort of a Lane tradition to send postcards to all the other members of the immediate family. 'Sthe only sure way to know who's still alive.

(Daria looks at the postcards and hesitantly takes one with a picture of the castle on it.)

DARIA: I guess should send my parents something.

JANE: What, you submitting to family obligations? That's a first.

(Daria pays for her postcard, then looks around again. Jodie and Mack are commenting over stuffed animals, while Jane is looking at t-shirts. Daria looks vaguely disturbed, then leaves the store and goes to sit on a sofa nearby. She takes a pen out of her pocket and pauses, thinking, before beginning to write on the postcard.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Dear Mom and Dad...

(She pauses, scowls, then scribbles it out. She starts writing again.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Dear Amy, here I am at Disney World, of all places. How I got here isn't a postcard-length story, so it'll have to wait. This place is frighteningly cheerful. Even Jane is caught up in the Disney Spirit. Scary. In fact, the only people who don't seem affected are Trent and Jesse... but that's only because they've been sleeping ever since we got here. I might have to try their approach. More later, Daria.

(Looking satisfied, she stands up and goes over to a mailbox on the wall, then drops in the postcard. Daria goes to the balcony, leans against it, and sighs.)

(Cut to the Fashion Club in a snazzier gift shop selling more expensive stuff in another part of the main building. Stacy is looking at a rack of magazines, Tiffany is looking blank, and Sandi is looking at the three J's fawning over Quinn.)

JOEY: I'll buy you a monorail picture frame!

JEFFY: I'll buy you a sweatshirt and a picture frame!

JAMIE: Quinn, I'll buy you a sweatshirt, a picture frame, and a porcelin figurine!

QUINN: We-ll, if you really want to... (laughs as she picks up a sweatshirt.)

SANDI: Quinn, are you sure that will fit you? You might need to try one in a larger size.

STACY: (innocently) I think it'll fit her. (Tiffany steps on her foot.) Ooowww!

TIFFANY: (without feeling) Oh, sorry. Clumsy me.

QUINN: (nervously) Tell you what, why don't you guys buy me something later?

JOEY, JEFFY, JAMIE: (grinning like hyenas) Okay, Quinn!

(Stacy follows Sandi to the other side of the shop. Tiffany follows.)

STACY: Why did you say that about the shirt? It was plenty big for Quinn!

SANDI: (disdainfully) Look, Stacy, I'm the president of the Fashion Club, aren't I?

STACY: (slightly confused) Yes.

SANDI: Then if I say the shirt doesn't fit Quinn, it doesn't. Understand?

STACY: (frowns slightly) But--

(Sandi and Tiffany move in a little closer, cornering Stacy against a shelf.)

SANDI: Whose side are you on, anyway, Stacy? Ours, or Quinns?

STACY: When did we pick sides? I thought it was always the four of us, together!

TIFFANY: God, Stacy, haven't you noticed how Quinn has been acting? She's been, like, a total bitch, and we don't need people like her in the Fashion Club.

STACY: (wide-eyed) You're kicking her out of the Fashion Club?

SANDI: (exchanges glances with Tiffany) We didn't say that, Stacy. But if Quinn can't lose her bad attitude, she may not want to be in the Fashion Club any more.

TIFFANY: Definitely.

SANDI: Stacy, if I were you, I'd be thinking about whether I still wanted to be in the Fashion Club or not. Because an officer of the Club certainly couldn't be friends with a quitter, now could she? (She steps away from Stacy and heads for the door of the shop. to Tiffany and Stacy) Come on.

(Tiffany follows her out. Stacy walks past Quinn with her head down, not looking at her.)

QUINN: Stacy?

(Stacy doesn't answer as she follows the others out. Quinn watches them go worriedly.)

(Cut to Jodie, Mack, Jane, and Daria returning to their rooms later that evening. They go into the girls' room. Close-up on them as Jane turns on the light.)

BRITTANY: (offscreen VO) Eeeeeekkkk!

KEVIN: (offscreen VO) Aaaagggg!

(Mack makes a face.)

JANE: Uh, nevermind.

(She quickly turns the light off again. Cut to the four in the boys' room. Jesse and Trent are asleep on the big beds.)

JANE: Let's hope they don't mind us sleeping in here tonight. (looking slightly pale) I'm certainly not sleeping in that bed on this trip.

JODIE: You and Daria can stay in here. Mack and I can take the other two beds in there.

DARIA: Sure you can handle the emotional scarring?

MACK: (shrugs) We're used to it.

(There is a loud moan from the other room. Jodie winces.)

JODIE: Almost.

(She and Mack reluctantly go back into the other room as Jane shakes Trent awake.)

TRENT: Ugh, Janey, it can't be morning yet.

JANE: It's hardly even night yet, Trent. Daria and I just need your bed.

(Trent looks from Jane to Daria and back.)

TRENT: (puzzled) Hunh?

DARIA: (patiently) Brittany and Kevin are having sex in the other room, so we're sleeping in here.

TRENT: (winces) I didn't need that much detail. (He sits up.) Hey Jess, the girls are moving in.

JESSE: (mumbling) Cool. (He sits up, then promptly shuts his eyes again.)

JANE: I guess now the only question is... who has to share a bed?

(Close-up on Jane. She narrows her eyes. Cut to close-up of Trent, looking determined. Cut to close-up of Jesse, who still has his eyes closed. Cut to close-up of Daria, looking deadpan. Cut to shot of all four again.)

JANE: Trent, since you and Jess can sleep anywhere, I think you two should share a bed.

JESSE: (without opening his eyes) Nunh unh.

TRENT: (makes a face) That would be weird.

DARIA: Good-weird or bad-weird?

JANE: Fine then, I'll share a bed with Jesse. (She smirks.)

TRENT & DARIA: (simultaneously) No!

DARIA: The beds are huge anyway. Jane and I can share tonight, then we'll switch up or something.

JESSE: Cool.

(He lies back down and goes to sleep again.)

TRENT: Looks like I'm on the daybed then.

(He gets up and trudges over to the small bed and collapses.)

TRENT: (mumbling) 'Night.

(He is instantly asleep. Jane shrugs.)

DARIA: Who has to make the trip into the other room to get our stuff?

JANE: (shudders slightly) That's incentive enough for me to sleep in my clothes.

(She pulls off her boots and button-up shirt, then climbs into bed wearing her black t-shirt and shorts.)

JANE: G'night.

DARIA: 'Night.

(Jane turns off the light. We see Daria faintly. She looks around, then quietly slips through the door to the other room. She returns in a minute looking nauseated and holding her suitcase and backpack, then goes into the bathroom. She returns a moment later wearing the shirt and short she sleeps in. Daria goes over to the bed and starts to get in, then pauses and looks at her backpack on the floor. She then goes over to it and removes a strange bundle from it, then sneaks back to the bed and climbs in. Fade to black.)

(Seconds later, suddenly cut to view of the room in in full light. Trent is standing by the girls' bed with his hand on the lamp switch. We see that the mysterious item from Daria's backpack is the Smiley pillow, which she is now curled up with. Daria looks panicked and tries to hide it under the blanket.)

JANE: (covering her eyes) God, Trent. What was that for?

TRENT: (looking panicked) I lost my guitar pick!

(Jane sits up sleepily.)

JANE: What the hell are you talking about? Are you dreaming or something?

TRENT: No! It's my lucky guitar pick, the one I had in my pocket. It's gone!

JANE: And you noticed now because why? (She blinks.) Uh, nevermind, don't answer that. Just find the damn thing so I can get some sleep.

(Trent crouches down on his hands and knees on the floor and looks under the bed.)

TRENT: I bet it fell out of my pocket while I was asleep.

(Daria sits up, careful to keep the Smiley covered, and looks around. She then spots the pick under a fold of the blanket.)

DARIA: There it is!

(She leans over to get the pick, then hands it to Trent. She accidently lets the blanket come off the Smiley.)

TRENT: What the hell is that?

JANE: (looks at the Smiley) Aaggg! (She blinks and peers at it.) Oh. (She blinks again.) Uh, Daria, why are you sleeping with a giant Smiley Face pillow? (She starts snickering.)

DARIA: (looks down, blushing) Um... er... to keep away nightmares?

(Trent starts snickering.)

TRENT: I'd get more nightmares from that thing. (He then notices how embarrassed Daria is. more kindly) Thanks for finding my guitar pick, Daria. I owe you one.

(She glances at him, and he smiles. Daria blushes even more and looks down again.)

DARIA: (muttering) Uh yeah sure g'night.

(She lies down and pulls the blanket nearly over her head as Trent lies down again, and Jane turns off the light. Daria looks down at the Smiley and sighs.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Now I know you're laughing at me.

(Fade to dream sequence. Daria and Trent are standing in the moonlight by a large lake. Trent is smiling beatifically, and Daria slowly smiles back.)

TRENT: You know, Daria... the first time I met your parents, I had no idea that someday they'd be my in-laws.

DARIA: (looks surprised, but smiles more broadly) Your in-laws? Really?

TRENT: (nods) And that you and Janey would be sisters-in-law.

DARIA: You mean...

TRENT: Yep. Me and Quinn are getting married!

DARIA: (horrified) What?!?

TRENT: (puzzled) I thought Jane had told you.

DARIA: But... but...

TRENT: You didn't think I meant I wanted to marry you, did you? (He laughs.) Like I would be interested in someone as unpopular as you are. Really, Daria! I thought you were smarter than that.

(Daria looks hurt, then the scene dissipates, leaving her standing on a flat, surreal plane. The Smiley pillow appears beside her, floating at eye level.)

DARIA: Why do I keep thinking that you're laughing at me?

SMILEY: Because I am laughing at you, you morose rich chick! Ha HA!

DARIA: Stop! Stop it!

(The Smiley begins to divide like a cell, fissioning into two identical Smileys. The two Smileys split again, then the four start orbiting Daria's head in a circle, chanting.)

SMILEYS: (sing-song voices) HA ha, HA ha, ha-ha-ha-ha HA ha!

DARIA: (yelling) STOP LAUGHING AT ME! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

(The Smileys begin to split again, multiplying into 8, then 16, then 32 Smileys, all laughing. At about 1024 Smileys, the scene begins to fade, then the screen goes black...)

(Cut to Daria's POV as she wakes up. The screen mimics her eyes opening, and a yellow blur appears. The screen "blinks" twice, and the image clarifies into a giant Smiley. Quick cut to Daria as...)

DARIA: (sitting up in bed, looking at the Smiley, horrified) Daaaaaaaaaa!

(Trent, looking sleepy, walks over to the side of the bed and looks down at Daria.)

TRENT: I told you that thing would give you nightmares.

(Daria looks acutely embarrassed as Trent walks off. Jane leans into the shot.)

JANE: If you're done communing with Mr. Smiley, hurry up and get dressed. It's going to be a long day...




CHAPTER FOUR


(Scene opens with a shot of Jane's backpack.)

JANE: (offscreen VO) Let's see... guidebook.

(The guidebook is chucked into the bag.)

JANE: (offscreen VO) Notepad.

(Likewise.)

JANE: (offscreen VO) Sunblock... water bottle... toliet paper...

(Chuck, chuck, chuck.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Don't you think you're overdoing it?

(Pull back to show Jane, Daria, and the backpack. Daria is wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans; Jane is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Not your average Jane" with black shorts.)

JANE: One can never be too prepared.

DARIA: Another law of physics shatters.

(Pan to shot of Trent leaning against the inner door, still looking sleepy. Jesse is standing nearby.)

TRENT: Janey, are you ready yet? If you're going to get us up early, you should at least let us get to breakfast on time.

JESSE: Yeah.

(Cut back to Jane and Daria as Jane hoists the bag onto her back.)

JANE: Is food all you two think about?

TRENT: (defensively) No!

DARIA: Yeah, Jane. You forgot about sleeping, music, and girls.

JANE: Oh yeah, silly me.

(Trent looks embarrassed and stalks out the door. Jesse follows. Jane and Daria smirk at each other and follow the boys.)

(Cut to the Fashion Club's room. Sandi is asleep in one of the large beds, snoring faintly. Tiffany and Quinn are in the other big bed, their backs to each other. Stacy is in the daybed, tossing from side to side. She finally awakes fully and sits up, blinking.)

STACY: Hey, it's morning!

SANDI, TIFFANY, AND QUINN: Go to sleep, Stacy!

(Stacy looks abashed and lies down again. After a moment, a determined look crosses her face, and she gets out of bed and tiptoes towards her suitcase.)

(Cut to Daria in the hotel's snack bar, toasting a slice of bread. Jesse walks over to her with two miniature boxes of Frosted Flakes in each hand.)

JESSE: Daria, do you know where the milk is?

DARIA: Try in the cooler.

JESSE: Oh. Thanks.

(Daria takes her plate of toast out of the toaster oven and walks over to the cooler with Jesse.)

JESSE: Is that all you're eating?

DARIA: (taking a carton of orange juice from the cooler) Uh, yeah. Why?

JESSE: No wonder you're so skinny. You should eat more.

(Daria looks a little surprised. Jesse attempts to remove four cartons of milk from the cooler without dropping his cereal.)

DARIA: Need some help?

(She takes some of the cereal from Jesse while he gets his milk.)

JESSE: Hey, thanks.

DARIA: Don't mention it.

JESSE: (puzzled) Why not?

DARIA: (sighs) Nevermind. You're welcome.

(Cut to Trent and Jane at the checkout. Trent looks at Jesse and Daria and frowns.)

TRENT: What's up with that?

JANE: (not looking) With what?

TRENT: Jess and Daria.

JANE: (glances over her shoulder) What, she's just carrying his cereal. (She looks at Trent and smirks.) You jealous or something?

TRENT: (archly) No, but I thought you might be. (He turns away from Jane. casually) I mean, she did steal him from you once already.

(Jane frowns just a little, but quickly hides it. She walks over to a table; Trent follows. In a moment, Daria and Jesse come over and sit down.)

DARIA: (to Jane) What's on the agenda today, oh Martha Stewart of the Disney Empire?

JANE: Might as well start at the beginning. Today we storm the castle.

DARIA: (deadpan) Let me get my umbrella.

(Trent and Jesse start laughing; Jane groans.)

JANE: That was low. That was really low.

DARIA: Thanks.

(She suddenly looks at the door. Cut to Daria's POV; we see Stacy coming into the snack bar, alone.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Hey, there's Stacy. By herself.

(Cut back to the four at their table.)

JANE: That's weird. I thought preps always traveled in packs.

(Cut back to Stacy. She looks around worriedly, then brightens as she spots the others. She hurries over to them.)

STACY: Hi, can I sit with you?

(Daria and Jane share a long-suffering look.)

DARIA: Pull up a chair.

(Stacy sits down, still looking a little lost.)

JANE: Where's the rest of the Princess Society?

STACY: Hunh?

DARIA: (flatly) Where's the Fashion Club?

STACY: Ohh. (Her shoulders sink a little.) They're still asleep.

TRENT: Smart girls.

STACY: (bravely) They wouldn't get up, so I decided to go off without them! (perkily) So where are you guys going today?

DARIA: The Magic Kingdom.

STACY: Oh, cool! Can I come with you?

DARIA: Uh--

JANE: (quickly) We wish you could, really, but we're supposed to meet someone, just the four of us, and you know what, we're late already, so we'd better go. Bye!

(She gets up and hurries off. Daria, Trent, and Jesse look a little puzzled, then follow Jane. Stacy watches them go sadly.)

(Cut to the room that Brittany, Kevin, Jodie, and Mack are sharing. Mack is sleeping on the day bed with a pillow over his head. Jodie walks over and nudges him.)

MACK: (mumbling) No... make it stop! Make it stop!

JODIE: Mack, wake up!

(He sits up with a start.)

MACK: Oh, whew... it was only a dream. (He notices Brittany and Kevin asleep in their bed, still draped all over each other.) Never mind.

JODIE: Daria and Jane have already left with their guys. You want to wait for Romeo and Juliet over there to wake up, or should we go on without them?

(Mack stands up and stretches.)

MACK: Let's go. I don't think I could handle putting up with them day and night. So, where are we going today?

JODIE: I'd like to go to that animal park.

(Mack looks wryly at Brittany and Kevin.)

MACK: I think we're already there.

(Cut to the two leaving their room a few minutes later. They are intercepted by the three J's, moping dejectedly in the hallway.)

JODIE: What are you guys doing?

JOEY: Waiting for Quinn to wake up.

JEFFY: Yeah, I decided to go get her some ice--

JOEY: No, the ice was my idea!

JAMIE: Nah, it was mine!

JEFFY: Well, we all went to get it and... uh... we got locked out.

JAMIE: So we have to wait for the girls to wake up and let us in.

(Jodie and Mack exchange long-suffering looks, but are too good-natured to leave the boys out in the hall.)

JODIE: Tell you what, why don't you come on with us? I think you're going to be out here a while.

JOEY: But I don't want to leave Quinn!

JEFFY: Yeah, she'll probably wake up soon!

JAMIE: And then she'll need some ice, and who'll get it for her if we're gone?

JODIE: Never mind.

(She and Mack head off down the hall.)

MACK: We should've known Huey, Dewey, and Louie wouldn't budge.

JODIE: When they begin to finish each other sentences, I'll start worrying.

(Cut to Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse on a monorail heading for the Magic Kingdom.)

TRENT: Janey, maybe you should have let that kid come with us. She looked lonely.

JANE: Maybe so, but this is a vacation. We're supposed to enjoy ourselves. That doesn't include listening to Stacy worry all day over whether she's still popular or not.

DARIA: Jane's right. I feel kind of sorry for her... but not that sorry.

(The monorail arrives at the station, and the four disembark. After using their tickets to get in to the park, they stop and look around.)

TRENT: Where to first?

DARIA: Ask Jane. She's the one with the plan.

JANE: Well, I was think that we'd start by going to Fantasyland and riding all the rides that build up lines pretty fast, then we'd hurry over to Frontierland and get in line for Splash Mountain, then--

TRENT: (frowning) Whoa, hold on. That sounds more like work than a vacation.

DARIA: (deadpan) Oh no, he said the "w" word.

JANE: Trent, if you want to get anything done at this place, you have to have a schedule! And we're wasting time sitting here talking about it.

DARIA: He does have a point though, Jane. No one said we have to see everything.

(Jane suddenly gets her sneaky, I-have-an-idea look.)

JANE: I got it! Me and Jess can follow the schedule, while you two do things your own way.

(Daria narrows her eyes, sensing that Jane's plotting once more.)

TRENT: (shrugs) Sounds okay to me. (He looks at Daria.) You up for it?

DARIA: (mumbling) Er, sure.

JANE: Okay, great. Hey, let's meet back here at seven. There's supposed to be a really cool parade later on tonight, but you have to get seats early.

TRENT: 'Kay, see you then. (He starts to walk off, then looks over his shoulder.) Coming, Daria?

DARIA: Yeah. (to Jane, muttering) You're gonna pay for this, Lane.

(She slinks off after Trent. Jane turns to Jesse with a pleased grin.)

JANE: At this rate, they'll be together before we get back to Lawndale!

JESSE: (flatly) Cool.

(Jane starts off in the direction of Fantasyland.)

JANE: C'mon, let's go!

(Jesse looks from Trent and Daria to Jane, then sighs and follows her.)

(Pan to the entrance to the park. Stacy is coming in, still looking a little lonely. When she sees the hordes of people already in the park, she looks even sadder.)

(Cut to Daria and Trent. They are walking through the front part of the park, Main Street. It is modelled after an old-fashioned town, with storefronts hiding shops full of Disney merchandise.)

TRENT: This is kind of neat.

DARIA: (shyly) Yeah.

(They reach the end of the street and see Cinderella castle up ahead. Trent pauses and looks at it appreciatively.)

TRENT: Man, I'd like to live there.

DARIA: Jane said that there's an apartment up there that was supposed to be for Walt Disney. (wryly) Wonder how much they charge for rent.

TRENT: Think we can save up enough cash?

(Daria blushes a little, but smiles. They start walking on. They go through the interior of the castle, where there are even more stores, and come out in Fantasyland.)

TRENT: Hey, lookit the carousel. (He grins at Daria.) Want to ride?

DARIA: (taken aback) Er... I haven't ridden one of those since I was about six. My parents made me.

TRENT: Aw, c'mon, it'll be fun.

(He grabs her hand and drags her off to the carousel. There isn't much of a line this early in the day, and they are able to get on right away.)

TRENT: Which horse do you want?

(Daria looks at one covered in roses.)

DARIA: That one's nice.

(She walks over to it and looks at it hesitantly. Trent comes up behind her.)

TRENT: Need some help?

(Daria jumps and looks embarrassed.)

DARIA: I can get it.

(She climbs up on to the horse, and Trent gets on the one next to her. He's beaming.)

TRENT: Man, I love these things. After the Spiral hits it big, I'm getting a mansion and putting a huge carousel right in the living room.

(The carousel starts up, piping Disney music all the way. Daria holds on tight to the pole on her horse, but Trent holds his hands up in the air.)

TRENT: Look, no hands! (Daria can't help smiling.) Yeah, I'm definitely getting one of these.

DARIA: (wryly) Will you charge admission?

TRENT: Hmm, that's a thought. You wouldn't have to pay though. You could ride my carousel any time you want.

(Daria gives the camera a deadpan look, then leans her head against the pole in defeat.)

(Cut to the Fashion Club in their hotel room. They're awake now, and going through their morning beauty rituals. Quinn is sitting on her bed, putting on her socks. Sandi comes up to her.)

SANDI: Quinn, have you seen my Biore facial cleansing strips?

QUINN: (looks up) No. Why?

SANDI: Oh, I just thought you might have borrowed them to get rid of that big blackhead on your nose. Oh well.

(She turns and walks off, looking smug. Quinn frantically digs through her purse for a compact mirror.)

(Sandi walks up to Tiffany, who is fixing her makeup in the bathroom mirror.)

SANDI: Where did Stacy go?

TIFFANY: Like, I don't know. I haven't seen her all morning.

SANDI: Oh well. At least we don't have to put up with her today.

(Cut to the hall outside the Lawndalians' rooms. The three J's are still there, looking bored. Brittany and Kevin come out of their room, finally dressed.)

KEVIN: Hey guys, wassuuuuuup?

JOEY: We're waiting on Quinn.

BRITTANY: Awww, how sweet! Me and Kevvie were just about to go to that movie park place thingie. (She sighs dreamily.) Movies are so romantic!

KEVIN: (smirking) And dark. (He nudges Jamie with his elbow, nearing knocking Jamie off balance.)

BRITTANY: (brightly) Tell Quinn I said hi!

(She and Kevin go off down the hall. After they are gone, the door to the Fashion Club's room finally opens, and the three girls come out.)

JOEY: Hi Quinn!

JEFFY: I've been waiting for you!

JOEY: It was my idea.

JAMIE: No, it was my idea.

QUINN: (smiling) How nice of all of you. We were just about to go to the spa.

JOEY: Great! I'll hold your towel.

JEFFY: I'll put cucumbers on your eyes!

JAMIE: I'll massage your feet!

(Quinn goes off down the hall, surrounded by the three guys. Sandi and Tiffany look at each other with narrowed eyes, then follow.)

(Cut to Stacy walking slowly down Main Street. Finally she sits down on an empty bench and stares dejectedly at the passing people.)

MALE OFFSCREEN VO: Hey, what's wrong?

(Stacy looks up. Cut to her POV; the speaker is Erik. Cut to shot of them both as Stacy looks away.)

STACY: Nothing.

(Erik sits down on the other end of the bench.)

ERIK: You here by yourself?

STACY: Yeah. (She looks at him again.) What about you?

ERIK: Pretty much. (He smiles.) My name's Erik.

STACY: (smiles a little) I'm Stacy.

ERIK: Where you from?

STACY: Lawndale. It's in California.

ERIK: (surprised) Really? I'm from Manningham. I know some people in Lawndale.

STACY: (looks more interested) Cool! Do you know Quinn Morgendorffer? She's my best friend.

ERIK: The name sounds familiar. Morgendorffer... (He pauses, thinking.) No, the Morgendorffer I know is named Daria.

STACY: Ohmuh God! Daria's here, a whole bunch of us came with her!

ERIK: (smirks) It is a small world after all. That's cool. Who all came?

STACY: Well, me and the rest of the Fashion Club--that's Quinn and Sandi and Tiffany. And Brittany and Kevin and Jodie and Mack. (Erik looks a little overwhelmed.) And then Daria's friend Jane and Jane's brother and his friend.

ERIK: Jane's brother? Trent?

STACY: (brightly) Yeah! And that cute guy with the long hair. Jesse.

ERIK: (quietly) Oh. Yeah, I know them.

STACY: That's great! They're here somewhere, why don't we go find them?

ERIK: (quickly) Uh, let's just walk around instead. I'll talk to them later.

STACY: (smiles) Okay.

(They get up and head towards the castle.)

ERIK: Where do you want to go?

STACY: I dunno. I've never been here before.

ERIK: Me either. My parents were taking my younger brother, and they dragged me and my sister along. I'm pretty much staying away from them as much as I can.

(They go up through the castle and enter Fantasyland. Up ahead, Erik spots Daria and Trent getting off the carousel and heading toward the right.)

ERIK: (quickly) Come on, let's go this way.

(He hurries off to the left. Stacy, not noticing Trent and Daria, looks puzzled, but follows.)

STACY: Why are we going this way?

ERIK: I just remembered that there's supposed to be a really cool haunted house here. I think it's this way.

STACY: Oh, great! That sounds fun.

(Pan away from them, back to Daria and Trent. He's getting little-kid excited.)

TRENT: Let's go ride the Teacups!

(He heads off in that direction. Shaking her head, Daria follows. They get in one of the giant teacups just as the ride begins. Grinning a little maliciously, Trent begins turning a steering wheel in the middle of the cup, making it spin around very fast.)

DARIA: Aaaaag!

(She grabs on to the sides of the cup for dear life.)

TRENT: Daria, this is fun!

DARIA: (eyes shut) I don't--like--fun--

(Mercifully, the ride is short, and Daria soon disembarks from the teacup, somewhat shakily. She and Trent head back the way they came.)

DARIA: Is there anything around here that's safe to ride?

TRENT: I hope not.

(Fade to montage of Trent and Daria experiencing various attractions: flying over Never-never Land in a miniature pirate ship, with Trent peering happily over the edge; on a Snow White ride in a little mining car, where Trent boos at the evil witch; flying around and around in Dumbo the elephant. Throughout, Daria looks deadpan. Finally fade to them riding through "It's a Small World" and being accosted by annoyingly cute little dolls from all sides. Here, both Trent and Daria are staring straight ahead with please-shoot-me-now expressions. Cut to them leaving the ride.)

DARIA: Thank God that's over.

TRENT: Yeah, they're carrying things a little too far with that one. (He suddenly spots the Skyline, which is sort of like individual ski-lift carts, moving overhead.) Hey, let's ride that.

(Daria looks up, sees the boxy cars suspended over head by only a twist of wire, and sighs.)

(Cut to Erik and Stacy eating in a Revolutionary-War-era-style restaurant.)

STACY: (happily) This is so cool!

ERIK: Yeah. (He looks at her curiously.) How come you're by yourself, anyway, if you came with all those people?

(Stacy looks down, depressed once more.)

STACY: My friends--Sandi and Tiffany--don't seem to like me anymore.

ERIK: (hesitantly) Want to talk about it?

(Stacy pokes at her food with a fork.)

STACY: Well... see, Sandi and Tiffany are mad at Quinn for some reason, but I can't figure out why. I mean, I like Quinn. She's so pretty and nice and stuff. But they don't like her anymore, and they don't like me because I do like her.

(She breaks off sadly. Erik looks at her sympathetically, then down at his own food.)

ERIK: (muttering) I know how you feel.

STACY: (looks up) What?

ERIK: (quickly) Nothing. (He smiles at her.) Look, just give them some time. They won't stay mad at Quinn forever. And even if they do, you still have her.

STACY: (unconvinced) Yeah. I guess. (She sighs.) I even tried to come here with Daria and them today, but they wouldn't talk to me.

ERIK: (forcefully) Don't worry about them.

STACY: Yeah, I guess you're right. (She smiles again.) Who needs them anyway?

ERIK: (quietly, looking down) Yeah. Who needs 'em?

(Cut to Daria and Trent in the Skyway, trekking through the open skies of the Magic Kingdom. Trent is looking around happily, but Daria is trying not to look down. Finally they make it to the end of the line in Tomorrowland. An attendant stops the car and lets them out, then notices Daria's glum expression.)

ATTENDANT: Hey, cheer up! You're at the happiest place on Earth!

DARIA: That's the problem.

(Trent bursts out laughing as they walk off. The attendant stares after them, surprised.)

TRENT: Hey, there's a place to buy food over there. Want some lunch?

DARIA: As long as it doesn't involve moving more than three feet off the ground, sure.

(They walk over to the food counters, where they see Jane in line, while Jesse is sitting at a table nearby. Trent goes over to join Jesse, and Daria walks up to Jane.)

JANE: Hey! So, how was your morning? (She smirks.)

DARIA: Oh, it was just oodles of fun. I somehow managed to read lewd subconsciousness meanings into Trent's comments about an innocent merry-go-round, then we rode all sorts of nauseating rides, and then we got to fly through the air supported by an inch-thick cable. How are you?

JANE: Hey, it's progress.

DARIA: The scary thing is, he's more excited about this than you are. I think Disney World has an intoxicating effect on members of the Lane family.

JANE: I think it's something they put in the drinks.

(She orders fried chicken fingers for everyone, then carries the food back to the boys. They head back out into Tomorrowland as they eat. Jane walks up ahead to bug Trent about his morning with Daria. Jesse and Daria walk side by side for a moment. Finally, Daria feels obligated to speak.)

DARIA: You having a good time?

(Jesse looks torn for a minute.)

JESSE: Uh... well, not really.

DARIA: (gently prodding) Why not?

JESSE: (shrugs) I dunno.

(Daria looks at Trent and Jane, sees that they are in the midst of a heated discussion, then turns back to Jesse.)

DARIA: Is it Jane?

JESSE: (sighs) Yeah. She's so... (He flaps his hand back and forth wordlessly for a moment.) ...bossy.

DARIA: (wryly) Apt description.

(Just then, Jane turns around.)

JANE: Hey, you guys want to ride that?

(She points at a building marked "Alien Encounter." There is an obscenely long line outside.)

JANE: It's supposed to be really scary.

DARIA: I'm not really in the mood.

TRENT: Aw, c'mon Daria, it'll be fun.

DARIA: I've had enough fun for today. I'll meet you guys for the parade.

JANE: Suit yourself. C'mon Jess.

JESSE: I think I'm going to stick with Daria.

(Trent, Jane, and Daria look surprised.)

JANE: Er... you sure?

JESSE: Yeah.

(Jane looks puzzled, then shrugs.)

JANE: 'Kay. See you tonight.

(She and Trent walk off, Trent glancing over his shoulder and glaring.)

DARIA: You're braver than I thought.

JESSE: (shrugs) I just didn't want to wait in that line.

DARIA: So... uh... what do you want to do?

JESSE: I dunno. What do you want to do?

DARIA: I don't know.

(They look at each other and start laughing. Pan right, where we see Erik and Stacy entering Tomorrowland. Erik spots Jesse and Daria and hurriedly tries to steer Stacy away from them, but she's already noticed them.)

STACY: Hey, there's Daria! (calling) Daria!

(She hurries over to them, Erik slinking behind. Daria turns and tries not to look annoyed.)

DARIA: Hey Stacy. (She suddenly notices Erik behind Stacy.) Erik?

ERIK: (looking down, muttering) Uh, hey.

JESSE: (grinning) Hey, man.

(Erik looks up and smiles a little.)

STACY: (talking fast) I met Erik this morning, then he said he knew you guys, and I thought that was really weird, and I just couldn't wait to tell you! (She pauses for breath.) So, where we going?

DARIA: We were trying to figure out the same thing. There's a store up ahead. I guess we could go in there.

STACY: A store? Oh boy! Let's go!

(She hurries on ahead, grabbing Daria's arm on the way. Looking resigned, Daria lets herself be dragged along. Jesse and Erik begin to follow the girls.)

JESSE: (a little awkwardly) So, uh, how you been?

ERIK: (too quickly) Just fine. How about you?

(Jesse makes a noncommittal noise.)

JESSE: You in another band yet?

ERIK: (sadly) Nah. No one would let me in after they heard I quit Conformity.

JESSE: That sucks. (sincerely) I'm sorry.

ERIK: Yeah, well. (changing the subject) Where's Trent? And his sister.

JESSE: They were going on some ride, but me and Daria didn't want to.

ERIK: Oh. (quietly) You going with Daria?

JESSE: No. (almost bitterly) I'm with Jane. Trent's sister.

(Erik senses that Jesse is upset about something, but doesn't risk asking.)

ERIK: Oh.

(They walk into the store, which proves to be filled with science fiction merchandise. Stacy is looking blankly at a t-shirt with a giant alien face on it. Daria is watching her, smirking.)

DARIA: (to the boys) I think Stacy's discovered a whole new world of fashion.

(Jesse looks around.)

JESSE: Cool! Star Wars stuff.

ERIK: Awesome!

(He and Erik go over to a huge rack of Star Wars figures. Stacy abandons the shirt and goes to stand by Daria.)

STACY: This is a weird store.

DARIA: Yeah. But at least everything isn't covered with Mickey Mouse.

STACY: For real!

(Daria looks at her in surprise. Stacy looks a little embarrassed.)

STACY: I never really liked Mickey Mouse much. But Quinn thinks Disney stuff is cute.

(She looks a little torn. Daria looks sympathetic, but before she can say anything, a garbage can rolls by of its own accord.)

DARIA: Hey, look at that.

STACY: Ohmigod, it's moving all by itself!

(The garbage can is silver and boxy, with a flap marked "push" on two of its sides. It rolls up behind Jesse and Erik and sits quietly. Finally the boys turn around.)

ERIK: (surprised) Was that there before?

(A mechanical voice suddenly comes from within the garbage can.)

GARBAGE CAN: No. I wasn't.

JESSE: Daaaa!

(He jumps behind Erik.)

ERIK: Uh... hi.

GARBAGE CAN: (brightly) Hi! What's your name?

ERIK: Erik. He's Jesse.

GARBAGE CAN: My name's Push.

(The other people in the store have begun to notice the talking garbage can. A small crowd gathers, including Daria and Stacy.)

ERIK: Uh, nice to meet you, Push.

PUSH: Can your friend Jesse talk?

JESSE: (slowly moves out from behind Erik) Yeah.

PUSH: How are you today, Jesse?

(Jesse, looking a little hunted, pushes open one of Push's flaps and peers inside. The garbage can rolls backwards a few feet indignantly.)

PUSH: That's not very polite!

JESSE: (completely flummoxed) Uh... sorry.

(Push moves forward again.)

PUSH: That's okay.

(Jesse starts to edge away from Push, but the garbage can rolls right after him. Jesse looks at it.)

JESSE: What do you want?

PUSH: A hug.

(Erik starts snickering. Daria smirks.)

JESSE: (weakly) A... hug?

PUSH: Yeah, a hug!

(Jesse backs away from Push, but the garbage can bumps up against his legs.)

PUSH: Give me a hug!

(Finally Jesse relucantly bends down and hugs Push. The little audience claps and cheers.)

PUSH: Thanks! That felt great.

JESSE: Uh...

PUSH: Gotta go! Bye Erik. Bye Jesse.

(Push rolls towards the door and goes outside. People stare.)

PUSH: (VO, getting fainter) 'Scuse me... coming through... sorry, ma'am...

(Jesse quickly makes his escape, and the other three Lawndalians follow. They stand outside the store, regrouping.)

DARIA: (wryly) Looks like Push came to shove.

(Erik snickers.)

ERIK: It must have been remote controlled or something. I dunno.

STACY: Wow, that's the first time I've ever seen a garbage can get a crush on someone.

ERIK: (mimicking Push) Aw, c'mon Jess, give me a hug!

JESSE: 'Kay.

(He hugs Erik, who looks very surprised.)

ERIK: Uh, I didn't... er... never mind. (He falls silent, blushing.)

DARIA: Let's go do something safe. (She looks around.) There's a movie about time travel over there.

STACY: Wow, cool! (Daria looks surprised. Stacy looks a little ashamed.) I've always liked science fiction.

ERIK: (quickly) C'mon, let's go.

(The four walk into the movie theater. There are no seats; instead viewers stand up. There are nine screens wrapped completely around the theater to give a 360-degree effect. There is a robot in the front.)

STACY: Robots! (She smiles dreamily.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Who knew?

(After the movie, they walk back out into the park, blinking in the sun. Erik notices an old-fashioned train go by on the perimeter of Tomorrowland.)

ERIK: That looks fun.

JESSE: It sounds cool. Jane said that it goes all the way around the park. I think we can get on down there. (He points off to their left.)

DARIA: Why not?

(The four head off in the direction he indicated. Soon they find themselves in Toon Town, which looks, appropriately, as if it came right out of a cartoon.)

DARIA: This must be their Hell Land.

(Stacy laughs.)

STACY: You're really funny, Daria. A lot funnier than Quinn.

DARIA: (surprised) Uh, thanks.

STACY: It's hard to believe you two are cousins.

DARIA: (wryly) I don't believe it myself.

(Jesse gets on the next train in the little Toon Town station. Erik gets in next to him, followed by Stacy and Daria.)

DARIA: (hesitantly trying to make conversation with Stacy) So you like science fiction?

STACY: Yeah! I love watching alien movies, and... don't tell Quinn this, but... I like to read it too.

DARIA: (smiles to herself) Who's your favorite author?

STACY: I like Ray Bradbury.

DARIA: Yeah, he's pretty cool. You like computers and stuff?

STACY: Yeah!

DARIA: You ought to try reading William Gibson. He writes about computers and artificial intelligence.

STACY: Cool! (She pauses a minute. hesitantly) Daria? I want to ask you something important.

DARIA: Yeah?

STACY: Do you believe in aliens?

(Pan to Jesse and Erik. Erik looks a little nervous, then speaks.)

ERIK: So, how's Mystik Spiral doing?

JESSE: It's cool.

ERIK: That's good.

JESSE: Yeah. We even got a gig at a party a couple weeks ago.

ERIK: (sadly) Wow.

JESSE: (sincerely) I wish you could play with us.

ERIK: (looking at him hopefully) Really?

JESSE: Yeah. But we don't really need anyone else. And the other guys...

ERIK: (sighs) Yeah. They wouldn't want me to.

JESSE: Look, if we ever need someone else, I'll get 'em to let you in.

ERIK: (smiles) Thanks. Really.

(Jesse smiles back as the train pulls up at the Main Street station. The four disembark.)

DARIA: It's going to be time to meet Jane and Trent before long. We ought to get something to eat first.

(Jesse perks up at the mention of food.)

JESSE: Cool.

ERIK: (quickly) Uh, I'd better get back to our hotel. My mom and dad'll be waiting for me.

DARIA: (a little puzzled) Okay... bye.

STACY: Bye, Erik.

ERIK: Bye.

(He starts to walk off, then Jesse follows him.)

JESSE: Hey. Erik.

(Erik stops and turns around.)

ERIK: Yeah?

JESSE: What hotel are you in?

ERIK: Room 4135 in the big pointy one. The Contemporary. Where are you guys?

JESSE: The white one across the lake. I can't remember what room, but...

ERIK: (quickly) It's okay. Uh... I guess I'll see you.

JESSE: Yeah. Bye.

ERIK: Bye.

(He takes a couple steps backwards, then turns around and walks off. Jesse watches him go, then returns to the girls.)

STACY: I think I'm going to go back too. I want to see what Quinn did all day.

DARIA: (looks disappointed) Okay. See you later.

STACY: Bye. (She smiles.) I had a great time! Thanks for letting me hang out with you.

DARIA: (smiles back, actually sincere) You're welcome.

(Stacy heads off to the exit as Daria shakes her head.)

DARIA: Looks like Quinn's still got her trained pretty well. (She looks at Jesse.) Where was Erik heading off to in such a hurry?

JESSE: I dunno. I think... he doesn't want to see Trent.

DARIA: That's weird. He seemed to be fine around you.

JESSE: (thoughtfully) Yeah.

DARIA: Oh well. Let's go get some food.

JESSE: (grins) Cool.

(Cut to Stacy back at the hotel in the Fashion Club's room. No one else is there. She looks around, disappointed, and starts to sit down when the rest of the Fashion Club comes in fresh from the spot.)

STACY: (jumps to her feet) Hey guys!

QUINN: (smiling) Hey Stacy. Where were you?

STACY: I went to the Magic Kingdom. I met this really nice guy and--

SANDI: (interrupting) Um, that's nice, Stacy. Tiffany, why don't we go see if the boys want to go eat in that nice little restaurant?

QUINN: That sounds fun!

SANDI: Ex*cuse me, Quinn, but I was talking to Tiffany.

TIFFANY: It sounds great, Sandi. Let's go.

(The two leave the room. Quinn and Stacy look at each other blankly. Out in the hall, Sandi and Tiffany meet the three J's.)

SANDI: Come on boys, we're going to go eat.

JOEY: Where's Quinn?

SANDI: Oh, she's not feeling good.

TIFFANY: She's very sick.

(The boys look disappointed.)

JEFFY: Maybe we should check on her--

SANDI: (quickly) No, she doesn't want to be disturbed. (smiling) Why don't you three come eat with us?

JOEY: (shrugs) Okay.

(He and Jeffy follow the girls down the hall. Jamie looks from the others to the room's door, then reluctantly follows.)

(Cut to the sidewalk of the Magic Kingdom where Daria and Jesse are waiting for Jane and Trent. Finally the two come trudging up, both looking miserable. Trent looks slightly damp.)

DARIA: Rough day?

JANE: (grumbling as she sits down between Daria and Jesse) We waited in line three hours for that stupid ride.

(Trent sits down on the other side of Jesse.)

TRENT: And then the alien spit on me.

DARIA: I see you two are finally getting the right attitude about this place. When does the parade start?

JANE: Nine.

DARIA: You mean we have to sit here for two hours?

JANE: (perky [!] again) Oh, the parade's worth it. It's supposed to be great.

(Daria looks at her a long minute.)

DARIA: You know what I said about you having the right attitude?

JANE: Yeah?

DARIA: Forget it.




CHAPTER FIVE


(Scene opens in the Fantastic Four's hotel room after the parade on their first full day at Disney World. Jesse and Trent are lounging on one of the beds sharing Trent's headphones, Jane's on the other flipping through a guidebook, and Daria is sitting on the daybed, writing a postcard. Zoom in on Daria.)

DARIA: (writing VO) Dear Amy, Things are getting more exciting. Trent and I narrowly escaped "It's a Small World" this morning, then this afternoon I hung around with Jesse, this guy he knows, and one of Quinn's friends. Interesting group, no? Turned out all right, surprisingly. I need to find some bigger postcards. Daria.

(She looks up from her writing.)

DARIA: Jane, care to accompany me to the mailbox?

(Cut to shot of Jane as she puts down her book.)

JANE: As long as it doesn't talk to me. After hearing about "Push"...

(Cut to shot of entire room as Daria stands up. Jane gets up also and looks over at the boys. Jesse is completely zonked out already, and Trent now has the headphones to himself. Jane reaches over and unplugs them.)

TRENT: (opens his eyes) Hey!

JANE: Daria and I are going on an expedition.

TRENT: Cool.

(He plugs his headphones back in. Jane looks at Daria and shrugs. They go out into the hall, where they encounter Jodie and Mack returning to their room.)

JODIE: Hey you guys. How did your day go?

DARIA: Oh, it was lovely. I nearly threw up three times, got accosted by a talking garbage can, then spent two hours sitting on a curb. How was yours?

JODIE: Glad to see you're enjoying yourself. We actually had fun.

MACK: (yawns) Tiring fun. We were on our feet all day.

JANE: Same here. The male portion of our party is already fading. (pauses) Not that that's anything new.

MACK: Sounds good to me. (He yawns again.)

JODIE: Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.

DARIA: Yeah, g'night.

JANE: 'Night.

(They go separate ways. Daria looks at Jane wryly.)

DARIA: If my dreams are anything like last night's, they won't be "sweet."

JANE: What were you dreaming last night? You certainly woke up loudly enough.

DARIA: Let me put it this way. First picture yourself in one of the stores here. Then replace every Mickey Mouse you see with a smiley face.

JANE: (wincing) Ouch.

(Cut to the girls returning to the room later. Trent is now asleep also, his headphones still playing. Daria goes over to him and turns the walkman off.)

JANE: (smirking) Awww, how sweet.

DARIA: (glares) I just didn't want him to run the batteries down, okay?

JANE: Looks like we get separate beds tonight.

DARIA: Yeah. Which one do you want?

JANE: You can have the big one, seeing as how you won't be sleeping alone.

(She nods toward the Smiley pillow.)

DARIA: Funny. Good night, oh humorous one.

JANE: G'night.

(Cut to the hallway again as Sandi and Tiffany return from dinner, accompanied by the three J's. Jeffy is talking to Sandi and Joey is with Tiffany, but Jamie is walking alone, some distance behind the others. They reach the girls' door and stop.)

SANDI: Good night, Jeffy.

TIFFANY: Good night, Joey.

JEFFY & JOEY: 'Night.

JAMIE: Hey Sandi... will you tell Quinn I hope she feels better?

JEFFY & JOEY: Yeah, me too!

(Sandi narrows her eyes just a little, then smiles.)

SANDI: Of course I will. Although I doubt she'll be feeling better for several months. (She suddenly looks guilty.) Oops.

JEFFY: Several months?

JOEY: What's wrong with her?

JAMIE: Is she gonna be okay?

SANDI: Well, I really shouldn't have said anything, but... No, I'd better not.

JAMIE: (worriedly) No, tell us, please!

SANDI: Well, it's just that... Quinn missed her period last month.

(Tiffany stares at Sandi in surprise. Cut to a shot of the three boys. They look at Sandi blankly.)

JOEY: So, uh... is that life-threating, or...

(Cut back to Sandi as she rolls her eyes.)

SANDI: Quinn's pregnant, you morons!

(Cut back to the boys as they stare in shock.)

JEFFY: Quinn... pregnant?

JOEY: Does she know who the father is?

JEFFY: It wasn't me!

JOEY: (looks at him) How do you know?

JEFFY: I've never done it with her!

JAMIE: Hunh? You told us you did!

JOEY: Yeah!

JEFFY: (looks down, embarrassed) So I lied, okay? I never even got to third base.

JOEY: Well at least I know it wasn't me either.

JEFFY: You lied too, hunh?

JOEY: (shrugs) Yeah.

(They look at Jamie expectantly.)

JAMIE: It's not me! (glares) At least I didn't lie and say I did it with her!

JEFFY: (glares back) Oh yeah? Well you--

(Cut to Sandi and Tiffany. Tiffany pulls Sandi aside as the boys start arguing.)

TIFFANY: Is Quinn really pregnant?

(Sandi rolls her eyes again.)

SANDI: No she's not pregnant!

TIFFANY: Then why did you--

SANDI: Look, Tiffany. Nothing turns a guy off more than a girl who's pregnant with someone else's baby. They won't want to even look at Quinn for the rest of the trip. And besides, you know what a bitch she's been lately. She deserves this.

TIFFANY: (vindictively) Yeah, you're right. She does deserve it! I wish she really were pregnant!

(Cut to a shot showing the girls as well as the arguing boys as the door to the FC's room opens and Quinn comes out. She smiles at everyone.)

QUINN: Hey, you guys!

(The boys stare at her; Sandi and Tiffany smirk.)

QUINN: (looking at the boys, puzzled) What? Why are you looking at me like that?

JOEY: Uh... nothing, Quinn.

JEFFY: Yeah, we just uh... gotta go.

JOEY: Yeah, see ya.

(Joey and Jeffy hurry to their door.)

JAMIE: (earnestly) Quinn--

SANDI: (pointedly) Jamie, hadn't you better see if Joey and Jeffy need you for something?

JAMIE: I don't think they--

SANDI: (warningly) Jamie.

JAMIE: I... uh... (He looks forlornly from Sandi to Quinn, then follows the other boys to their room.)

QUINN: What was that all about?

TIFFANY: (shrugs) Who knows?

SANDI: Yeah. You know how boys can be.

TIFFANY: Really weird.

QUINN: (shrugs) Oh well. So how was dinner?

TIFFANY: Oh, it was great.

(She and Sandi smirk at each other as they head into the room.)

SANDI: Yeah. Absolutely terrific.

(Cut to the next morning. Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse are on a bus heading for Downtown Disney, a huge shopping district on the edge of Disney World. Jane and Daria are sitting in one seat with Trent and Jesse behind them. Two girls are sitting in the seat in front of Jane and Daria.)

TRENT: (sulking) Janey, I can't believe we came all this way for you to drag us off shopping.

JANE: (temptingly) They have a huge music store...

TRENT: (brightens a little) Really?

(The girl in front of Daria turns halfway around.)

GIRL: It's great, trust me.

TRENT: Cool. You been here before?

GIRL: Yeah. Buncha times. (She and the other girl turn the rest of the way around.) 'Name's Susanna. (points to her friend) This is Jessica.

JESSICA: Hi.

TRENT: Hey, I'm Trent.

JANE: I'm Jane.

DARIA: Daria.

(Susanna looks at Daria closely.)

SUSANNA: You look kinda familiar.

DARIA: (frowns a little) So do you.

JESSICA: You do look familiar. Are you somebody famous?

DARIA: (smirks) Hardly. Are you?

SUSANNA: No. (wryly) My only claim to fame is that my mom met Greg Allman once.

TRENT: (impressed) Your mom met Greg Allman? Whoa.

JESSE: Cool.

JANE: You know what they say. Every person on Earth is connected by six degrees or less.

DARIA: Thanks for that cheerful thought.

(They laugh as the bus pulls up at Downtown Disney. They all get off.)

TRENT: Janey, are you coming to the music store with us?

JANE: Nah. I think I'm just gonna look around.

DARIA: Me too. I'm not feeling very musical at the moment.

JESSICA: (to Trent and Jesse) Wanna come with us?

TRENT: (shrugs) Sure.

JESSE: Cool.

SUSANNA: (to Jesse) Do you ever say anything except "cool"?

JESSE: Yeah.

SUSANNA: Like what?

JESSE: (thinks a minute) Like "yeah."

(Susanna looks at him a long moment, then shakes her head.)

JANE: (to the boys) Well, we see you later. Come on, Daria. Let's go explore.

DARIA: (deadpan) Oh goody. Look out world, here we come.

(Daria and Jane head off into the shopping district.)

JANE: (looking around) Daria, I think I've just found the world's first money vacuum.

DARIA: No, I beat you to it. I live with her, remember? (looks up) Hey, look, a book store.

JANE: Oh, please. You can get books at home.

DARIA: Try telling Trent that he can get music at home.

JANE: Trent's not as amenable as you are.

DARIA: Then how do you ever get him to agree to anything?

JANE: (shrugs) I don't. Tell you what. You go in the book store while I finish looking around. I'll come find you later.

DARIA: Now who's being amenable?

JANE: Don't press your luck.

DARIA: Okay, okay. See you later.

(They go their separate ways. Daria discovers that the bookstore carries mostly Disney books, but it also has a few best sellers. She flips idly through one of them. After a few moments, a young, friendly-looking Disney employee whose name tag says "Todd" wanders over to her.)

TODD: Hi. Can I help you with anything?

DARIA: (glances up) No thanks. I'm just killing time until my friend gets back.

TODD: Killing time at Disney World. (He shakes his head and makes a tsking noise.)

DARIA: (deadpan) Yeah, it's really too bad. I never understood the phrase "Time is money" until I came here.

(Todd starts laughing. Daria looks surprised and faintly pleased.)

TODD: So are you here with your parents?

DARIA: If I was, they'd probably have you out looking for the bloody glove. It's actually sort of a long story.

(Todd leans up against one of the shelves and smiles at Daria.)

TODD: Then by all means, start talking.

DARIA: (smiles a little) Wait, I thought time was money.

TODD: Exactly. The more time I waste, the more I get paid for doing nothing.

(Daria's Mona Lisa smile grows a little.)

DARIA: Well, it all began when my great-aunt called my dad and said she was dying...

(Time lapse fade to a bit later. Todd is still looking at Daria with interest as she talks.)

DARIA: ...and here I am, many minutes and a hoarse throat later.

TODD: (grins) Wow. And I thought working here was an adventure. (He glances down.) So, uh, how long are you going to be here?

(Daria looks surprised. Cut to the door as Jane, Trent, and Jesse come in. Jane is carrying a shopping bag. Trent sees Todd flirting with Daria and glares. Cut back to Daria and Todd.)

DARIA: Um... well, we're going home day after tomorrow, but--

TRENT: (coming up to Daria smoothly) Hey, Daria.

(Daria jumps a little bit and blushes.)

DARIA: Hey Trent.

(Todd and Trent size each other up.)

JANE: Who's your new friend?

DARIA: This is Todd.

TODD: Daria was telling me about all of you. You must be Jane and Jesse. (to Trent, pointedly) Who are you?

TRENT: (just as pointedly) Trent. Daria's friend.

(Jane arches an eyebrow and smirks.)

DARIA: (changing the subject) What happened to Susanna and Jessica?

TRENT: They went off to get something to eat. (quickly) Come to think of it, I'm pretty hungry myself. Why don't we go eat?

JESSE: Yeah. I'm starved.

DARIA: (shrugs) Fine with me. (She smiles at Todd.) Bye, Todd.

TODD: (smiles back) Bye Daria. Where are you staying?

DARIA: At the Gran--

TRENT: (interrupting) C'mon Daria.

(He grabs her hand and starts walking with her to the door. Daria looks as if she's about to melt, but quickly regains her composure. Todd scowls.)

TODD: (to Jane) What's with your brother?

(Jane smirks and shrugs.)

JANE: What can I say. Daria's just got that certain "je ne sais quoi," no? See ya.

(She and Jesse walk off. Todd shakes his head and sighs.)

(Cut to the four outside. Trent and Jesse walk on ahead, trying to find a restaurant, while Jane and Daria hang back.)

JANE: (smiling knowingly) So what was that all about?

DARIA: (defensively) I was just telling him about our trip.

JANE: I wasn't talking about Todd.

DARIA: Jane--

JANE: Look, you can't tell me you didn't see the jealousy on Trent's face. When my brother shows any emotion save sleepiness, you know it means something.

DARIA: Jane, I really don't think--

TRENT: (calling over his shoulder) Hey, there's a McDonald's over there! Come on.

DARIA: McDonald's and Disney World. Did somebody say monopoly?

JANE: Watch it. That's a trademark.

(She and Daria hurry to catch up with the boys.)

JANE: (hissing to Daria) And don't think you're getting out of this. We'll finish our discussion later. (out loud) I forgot to show you what I bought you, Daria.

DARIA: (surprised) You bought me something?

JANE: Well, sorta... I charged it to the room.

DARIA: Which I'm paying for. Thanks.

JANE: Hey, at least I got you more than a piercing in someone else's navel.

(Daria and Trent both blush.)

DARIA & TRENT: Jane!

(They glance at each other and blush more.)

JANE: It's you, Daria, trust me.

(She rummages around in her shopping bag, pulls out a folded t-shirt, and hands it to Daria. Daria unfolds it to reveal an Eeyore design.)

DARIA: Eeyore?

JANE: Hey, I told you. It's you.

DARIA: Me, gloomy? Where did you get that idea?

JANE: Call it a whim. Let's go eat.

(Cut to the Fashion Club and the three J's at a store in the hotel. Joey and Jeffy are keeping their distance from Quinn and glancing at her sideways, while Jamie looks at her worriedly periodically. Sandi and Tiffany seem a bit smugger than usual as Stacy comes over to them.)

STACY: You guys? Why are the boys acting so strange? It's like they're... scared of Quinn or something.

SANDI: Gosh, Stacy, I don't know! Unless maybe they've finally realized what a bitch she is.

(Stacy looks as wounded as if Sandi had been speaking of her and not Quinn. She appears to waver, then frowns in determination.)

STACY: Sandi, I don't think Quinn's a bitch!

SANDI: Oh Stacy, you're so wrong. (with false sympathy) Quinn's blinded you.

TIFFANY: Yeah. She's, like, such a liar and all.

STACY: (without as much force) Well, she's never lied to me... I don't think.

SANDI: But that's just it. You don't think enough to realize it. Think enough about Quinn, I mean.

(Stacy looks from Quinn to the antsy boys to Sandi and Tiffany. She steels herself and stands up a little straighter.)

STACY: You two are wrong. Quinn would never lie to me, and she isn't a bitch. I-in fact, I think you're just jealous!

SANDI: (laughs) Jealous? Of Quinn? Really, Stacy.

STACY: (not backing down) Why else would you be so mean to her?

SANDI: (fiercely and now without humor) Stacy, you had better watch out. Otherwise, you might end up like Quinn will.

STACY: (puzzled) How will Quinn end up?

SANDI: You know Quinn's cousin and her weird little friend?

STACY: Yeah...

SANDI: (slowly and pointedly) Quinn will be just like them.

TIFFANY: Maybe even worse.

(Stacy looks at Sandi and Tiffany for a long, long moment, then a new calmness dawns in her eyes.)

STACY: (quietly) And what's wrong with being like Daria?

SANDI: What's wrong with it? She's a loser, Stacy. Do we have to spell it for you to understand?

STACY: No. I understand just fine! And you know what? No matter what you say about Quinn, she'll always be my best friend! And even if we do end up being like Daria, it's better than being like you!

(She turns on her heel and stalks off.)

SANDI: (calling after her, pettily) Oh, go run away and cry! (to Tiffany, sarcastically) Poor little Stacy.

TIFFANY: Maybe Quinn's cousin will be her friend now.

SANDI: If Stacy's lucky.

(They laugh and head for the store exit. Quinn hurries over.)

QUINN: Hey, Sandi, what was wrong with Stacy?

SANDI: How would I know? I don't have time to worry about her. (to the boys) Come on, boys. Tiffany and I are going to go swimming now. (with a pointed glance at Quinn) Just Tiffany and I.

JEFFY: Uh, cool.

JOEY: Yeah.

(They follow Sandi and Tiffany out of the store, carefully not looking at Quinn. Jamie starts to go after them, then stops, wavering. Finally he turns back and goes over to Quinn, who is flipping through a rack of shirts determinedly.)

JAMIE: Uh, Quinn?

QUINN: (through clenched teeth) What?

JAMIE: Can I talk to you for a minute? Somewhere else?

(Quinn, realizing that this is the first time someone has actually wanted to talk to her in some time, turns and looks at him.)

QUINN: (quietly) Yeah.

(They leave the store and go outside on a balcony, where they sit on a long bench. Jamie looks down, swallows, then turns to Quinn.)

JAMIE: Quinn, I just wanted to tell you that... well, I really like you, and I don't care who the father is, I'll still be here for you if he won't take care of you.

QUINN: (blinks) Hunh?

JAMIE: (gently) Sandi told me about the baby.

QUINN: Sandi's having a baby?

JAMIE: No, your baby.

QUINN: What? (laughs) I'm not having a baby!

JAMIE: (earnestly) Look, it's okay, I already know! You don't have to hide it from me. I still like you, and--

QUINN: (suddenly realizing how serious this is) Wait a minute. (slowly) Sandi told you I was pregnant?

JAMIE: (quickly) Yeah, but don't be mad at her for telling. I mean, she didn't mean to tell your secret and all. It's just that when you were sick last night, she accidently said that you had missed your comma, and then she had to tell us.

QUINN: (confused) Missed my comma? What the hell are you talking about?

JAMIE: Or maybe it was your question mark. I forgot what exactly she said...

QUINN: My period?

JAMIE: Yeah! That's it!

(Quinn is quiet a long moment as everything sinks in, then she looks at Jamie without seeming to see him.)

QUINN: (very softly) Oh my God. Who... who did she say this to?

JAMIE: Just me and Joey and Jeffy. And Tiffany, of course, but I guess she already knew.

QUINN: (Her voice rises to a high, frantic pitch.) But, oh my God, it isn't true! I'm not pregnant!

JAMIE: Quinn, I already told you, you don't have to lie--

QUINN: I'm not lying! Please, believe me! Look, I had a period last week, and girls don't have periods when they're pregnant! You've got to believe me!

JAMIE: (slowly) But... but why would Sandi make that up?

QUINN: (looks down, near tears) I don't know. She and Tiffany have been, like, mad at me the whole trip, and Stacy's the only one who's been nice to me. And oh God, I've like ignored her. I've always ignored her. And, and, and last night... (whispering) I wasn't even sick.

(A tear drops into Quinn's lap.)

JAMIE: (gently) Quinn...

QUINN: (still whispering) I wasn't even sick. (She looks up at Jamie, her tears falling faster now and her voice rising.) I wasn't sick, Jamie! I wasn't sick!

(She breaks down, sobbing. Jamie puts his arms around her and holds her tight as she cries.)

JAMIE: (frantically) Quinn, it's okay, please don't cry! I believe you, really. Please don't cry... (He suddenly looks up, surprised.) Quinn?

(Quinn's sobs have lessened, and she leans her head back and looks at Jamie, sniffling.)

QUINN: What?

JAMIE: You... you remembered my name.

(Cut to Jane, Daria, Trent, and Jesse in McDonald's.)

TRENT: Janey, are you done shopping yet?

JANE: I guess... unless--

DARIA: (quickly) Yeah, she's done. Before she buys me more presents with my money.

(Trent and Jesse laugh.)

TRENT: So where to next?

JANE: (shrugs, a little offended) I dunno.

DARIA: (in mock surprise) You don't? Gee, looks like even the girl with the plan has reached her limit.

(Trent and Jesse laugh again; Jane glares at Daria.)

DARIA: If you guys don't care... why don't we go to the movie place?

TRENT: Sounds good to me.

JESSE: Cool.

DARIA: Jane?

JANE: (looks down at the table) Sure, whatever.

(Daria looks worried at Jane's apathy and starts to say something, but she is interrupted by the boys getting up.)

TRENT: C'mon, let's go.

DARIA: Okay...

(She follows them outside, Jane trailing behind. They board a bus that takes them to the MGM Studios theme park. They go in and hesistate.)

DARIA: So, uh... what all's here?

(Jane looks at her guidebook, in slightly better spirits than before.)

JANE: Um... most of this stuff sounds kinda dumb. Tours and special effects and stuff. (pauses, reading) But hey, there's a Star Wars ride.

TRENT: Ooh, really?

JESSE: Cool.

JANE: It's over this way. Follow me!

(She seems all right now that she's leading again. Daria looks relieved and follows her with the boys. There's quite a bit of a line for the ride, but the four get in line anyway.)

TRENT: Anything else cool here, Janey?

JANE: Umm... (scanning the guide) Neat sounding restaurant--they show clips of sci-fi B movies. But you gotta have reservations. And, uh... a 3D movie with the Muppets in it. And Daria, here's another book store. (glances up, smirking) Maybe you'll meet another Todd.

TRENT: (quickly) Hey, the line's moving. Come on.

(Jane looks vindicated as they move forward; Daria glares at her. Finally they reach the end of the line and go into the attraction, which takes place in a theater. Jesse goes in first, followed by Trent, Daria, and Jane.)

DARIA: Finally, an attraction that doesn't move.

TRENT: (smiling) Not like those teacups, hunh?

DARIA: (blushes a little but return the smiles) Yeah. Thank God.

(The human attendent leaves the theater and the doors shut, holding the audience captive. A robot appears in the front of the theater and instructs them to fasten the seat belts in their theater seats.)

DARIA: Seat belts in a theater?

JANE: An attraction that doesn't move, hunh? Looks like you spoke too soon.

DARIA: I'm really beginning to not like this place.

(Cut to the four much later in the afternoon. They are sitting on a bench in the park.)

DARIA: Jane, just so you know, if I get sick one more time, I'm holding you accountable.

JANE: How was I supposed to know that the elevator dropped twice? You were all right the first time.

(Daria blushes vividly.)

TRENT: (reassuringly) Don't worry, Daria, my shoes are nearly dry now.

JANE: Anyway, so what are we going to do next?

DARIA: Sit here and mope.

JANE: I'm serious, Daria.

DARIA: So'm I.

JANE: (shakes head, tsking) You're no fun. Fine, you stay here awhile. We'll go do something.

(She stands up.)

JESSE: (suddenly) What if we don't want to do anything?

(Jane, Daria, and Trent all stare at him.)

ALL THREE: Jesse?

JESSE: (defensively) Well you don't even ask what we want to do, Jane.

JANE: (annoyed) Well then, what do you want to do?

JESSE: (shrugs) I dunno.

JANE: Then what are you so pissed about?!?

JESSE: It's just... it'd be nice if you asked first before telling us where we should go and stuff.

JANE: (nearly yelling) You don't seem to have any better ideas!

JESSE: (matching her tone) You never give me a chance to have any!

(They stare at each other; Trent looks away, embarrassed. Daria looks from one to the other, then takes a deep breath.)

DARIA: He has a point, Jane.

(Jane stares at her.)

DARIA: I mean, ever since we left home, you've had every moment planned out, and you've just... told us what to do.

JANE: (snaps) You keep out of this. It's between me and him. (narrows her eyes) Maybe you are too.

(Daria stares at her, hurt. Jesse looks furious and stands up.)

JESSE: Shut up, Jane.

TRENT: (glares) Don't tell my sister to shut up!

JESSE: You don't have anything to do with any of this, Trent!

(Trent stands up, still glaring.)

TRENT: Janey's my sister. That gives me every right to be involved. I'm not about to let you be mean to her just 'cos you're not happy with her!

JESSE: What?

TRENT: (jealously) You think we haven't noticed that you like Daria more than Jane?

DARIA: What?

(She stands up and faces them.)

DARIA: This has nothing to do with me!

JANE: Oh yeah?

JESSE: Yeah!

TRENT: Yeah right!

DARIA: (visibly upset) Quit yelling at me!

(Jane looks slightly sorry, then glares at Jesse, angrier than before.)

TRENT: Dammit, Jesse, see what you're doing? Daria hasn't come between you and Jane--you've come between them!

DARIA: No, he hasn't, he--

JANE: Yeah, he has! (to Jesse) She's my best friend, and you're--

(Jesse turns on all three of them, thoroughly furious. They stare at him in amazed shock.

JESSE: (yelling) Look, if I'm such a damn problem for everyone, fine! No one said you had to bring me on this damn trip, and no one said (to Jane) that you had to date me, (to Trent) or that you had to be my friend! (He stops yelling and takes a deep breath; the others still stare. very quietly) Forget it. I quit.

(He turns and walks off quickly. The others still stare; Daria looks as if she might go after him, but she changes her mind. Jane finally looks down guiltily.)

JANE: (quietly) Daria, I'm sorry, I--

DARIA: (just as quietly) I think I want to be alone for a while. I'll see you later.

(She turns and walks off deeper into the park, in the opposite direction that Jesse took. Jane and Trent both look miserable. Trent puts his hand on Jane's shoulder and squeezes it. Jane glances up at him.)

JANE: I really screwed up this time, didn't I?

TRENT: (soothingly) It'll be okay, Janey. (softly) I hope.

(Cut to the Fashion Club's room. Only Sandi and Tiffany are there; they are primping in front of the mirror. Suddenly the door slams open to reveal a furious Quinn; the Wicked Witch's theme from 'The Wizard of Oz' plays faintly in the background.)

SANDI: (idly) Oh. It's you.

(Quinn looks a little let-down; the music trails off. Quinn comes in and shuts the door, then gathers strength.)

QUINN: You've got some explaining to do, Sandi.

(Sandi continues to apply mascara.)

SANDI: Hmm?

QUINN: (angrily) Why the hell did you tell everyone that I was pregnant?

SANDI: Who, me?

QUINN: Yeah!

SANDI: (innocently) I didn't tell anyone that. Did you, Tiffany?

TIFFANY: No way.

SANDI: I bet Stacy said it. (looks at Quinn) Why? Are you pregnant?

QUINN: (frustrated) No, I'm not pregnant! (glares) And Jamie said that you told him, Sandi!

SANDI: (glares, only for a second) Jamie? (archly again) Look, Quinn, you're overreacting. And we didn't say a thing.

QUINN: (nearly yelling) I don't believe you! Stacy would never say something like that about me, but you would!

(Sandi puts down her makeup, beginning to become angry.)

SANDI: Quinn, a member of the Fashion Club should never insult a higher officer. And you just did.

QUINN: (screaming) Well you know what? I'm not a member of the Fashion Club! I quit!

(Sandi smiles triumphantly.)

SANDI: Well, Quinn, that's just too bad. Isn't it, Tiffany?

TIFFANY: Totally.

SANDI: Looks like we'll be sleeping elsewhere tonight. We don't want to mingle with non-members.

TIFFANY: Yeah. People might start thinking we were... uncool, or something.

(They grab their suitcases and saunter through the inner door into the other room. Quinn watches them go. Her fists are clenched, but there are tears in her eyes.)

QUINN: (whispering) They'd be right, Tiffany. They'd be right.

(Cut to the two girls in the boys' room. Joey and Jeffy are there, talking to Kevin.)

JOEY: ...yeah, it's totally true!

KEVIN: Whoa, this is too weird! (to Sandi) Quinn's really pregnant?

SANDI: (shrugs) So I've heard.

KEVIN: Wait'll Britt hears this!

(He hurries out of the room, just as Jamie is coming in.)

JAMIE: What's going on?

JEFFY: Joey was just telling Kevin about Quinn!

JAMIE: But listen! Quinn's not--

(Sandi stands up angrily, interrupting him.)

SANDI: Jamie, I think you need to leave.

JAMIE: (puzzled) Why?

SANDI: (to the other boys) I saw him talking to Quinn. About the baby.

JAMIE: (earnestly) Yeah, I was, I--

JOEY: (horrified) Oh my God. But you said you didn't--

JEFFY: Get away from us, man!

JAMIE: (hurt) What?

TIFFANY: (shrugs) You're going to be a father. That's uncool.

JAMIE: No, listen, I'm not the baby's father, because Quinn's not even pregnant!

SANDI: Denial.

TIFFANY: How sad.

JOEY: (glares) Look, man, you need to go stay somewhere else.

JEFFY: Yeah, you're gonna like give us bad reps.

(Jamie looks at the girls desperately. They just shrug. Jamie looks hurt, then he glares and slams out of the room. Joey and Jeffy start talking frightenedly, but Sandi and Tiffany just look at each other and smile.)

(Cut to Jesse outside a hotel room door. He hesitates, then knocks. There is a pause, then the door opens to reveal Erik, looking surprised.)

ERIK: Jesse?

JESSE: (forlornly) Can I talk to you?

(Erik's look of surprise fades to one of concern.)

ERIK: Yeah, of course. Is something wrong?

(Before Jesse can speak, a woman's voice interrupts from within the room.)

WOMAN: Erik? Who's there?

ERIK: (calling) Just a second, Mom. (to Jesse, a little apologetically) You better come in.

JESSE: 'Kay.

(He follows Jesse inside. A tall, pretty blond girl about Jesse's age who is obviously Erik's sister is lying on one bed watching TV, and a middle-aged woman with graying blond hair is on the other bed holding an open novel.)

ERIK: Mom, this is Jesse. He's a... friend of mine.

(Erik's mother looks at Jesse rather suspiciously.)

MOTHER: (grudgingly) Hello. How do you know Erik?

JESSE: (a little taken aback) Well, uh... through my band.

MOTHER: (to Erik, completely disregarding Jesse) Erik, I told you to stay away from--

ERIK: (quickly, sounding pained) Mom! (He glances sideways at Jesse, acutely embarrassed.)

(Erik's mother just makes a dissatisfied noise and returns to her book. His sister looks at Erik sympathetically and turns off the TV, then stands up.)

SISTER: Hi, I'm Sharon. Erik's sister. Nice to meet you.

(She goes over to Jesse and shakes his hand, smiling. He smiles back.)

JESSE: Yeah.

ERIK: Mom, we're, uh, going out for a while, okay?

MOTHER: (not looking up, shortly) Fine.

(Erik looks hurt, but quickly turns away.)

ERIK: (to Jesse, brusquely) C'mon.

(Jesse follows him out the door. Erik's room is in the main building of the Contemporary, a hotel across the lake from Jesse's. Erik leans on the railing of the balcony, morosely overlooking the hotel lobby.)

ERIK: I'm sorry my mother was so rude.

JESSE: 'Sokay.

(He stands next to Erik and looks at him sympathetically.)

JESSE: Parents. They're always having a bad day.

ERIK: (bitterly) Bad decade is more like it.

(He turns away sharply and starts toward the floor's elevator. Jesse follows him, looking concerned but tactfully saying nothing. On the elevator, Erik rakes his hand through his hair nervously and sighs.)

ERIK: So, uh, where d'you want to go?

JESSE: (shrugs) I dunno. Have you seen our hotel yet? It's pretty cool.

ERIK: I haven't been there. I'd... like to.

JESSE: Cool.

ERIK: (curiously) What did you want to talk to me about?

JESSE: (miserably) Everything.

(Cut to Jesse and Erik entering the Grand Floridian's lobby. Erik looks appropriately impressed.)

ERIK: Wow. This place is cool.

JESSE: Yeah. (They head over towards a grouping of sofas and chairs.) Want to sit?

ERIK: Sure.

(They sit down on an unoccupied sofa. Nearby, a man is playing a grand piano, and several other guests are seated in the lobby, listening to the music. Erik relaxes slightly and even smiles a little. Jesse glances at him.)

JESSE: So, uh... what's up with your mom? You said she's had a bad time...

ERIK: (sadly) Yeah. It's... well, a lot of things. But mostly, it's my dad. He wants a divorce. That's why we're here. She thought that a family vacation, all of us together, might help save the marriage. (sardonically) It didn't.

JESSE: (gently) I'm sorry.

ERIK: Thanks. (He looks at Jesse gratefully.) You know, you're the first person who ever seemed to even care.

JESSE: 'Course I care. I mean, I dunno what it's like or anything, but...

ERIK: It's hell, trust me. And... (He looks down again.) I think it's our fault. Me and Sharon's, I mean.

JESSE: Why?

ERIK: (shrugs) We disappointed Dad. He thinks we didn't turn out right, that we aren't the perfect children he wanted. Justin--my little brother--he's the only one of us Dad's really happy with, and... I think he blames Mom, like he thinks she brought me and Sharon up wrong or something.

(He glances at Jesse, who is listening attentively. Encouraged, Erik continues.)

ERIK: The thing that really bugs Dad, I think, is that we were like perfect kids. Used to be. I mean, Sharon graduated as valedictorian of her class, and she went to a great college her freshman year. But then... (He smiles, a little wryly.) She decided that she didn't want to be a doctor after all, and she transferred to a tiny college just because it had great courses for acting. Dad hated it. Then what really pissed him off was when she came home last Christmas. With her girlfriend.

JESSE: (a little surprised) She's gay?

ERIK: Yeah. (He smiles a little.) Calls herself the thespian lesbian. We didn't know until she told us that Christmas, though. She told me that she didn't know until she got to college and met Kara. Dad wanted to kill Sharon but she wouldn't back down at all. (A look of pride crosses his face.) She stood up to him, and eventually, he left her alone. (a little wistfully) I wish I was as brave as she is.

JESSE: Why isn't your dad happy with you?

ERIK: (shrugs) Same kinda thing, really. (quickly) I mean, not the being gay part, but... I used to do really well in school, then I dropped out my junior year to play in Conformity For Hire. Dad and Mom both were really mad at me, and they both hated the other guys in the band. That's why Mom acted like that to you. She thought you were just like Wes and them.

JESSE: (softly) I'm... not, am I?

ERIK: (forcefully) No, not at all. But I could never make Mom understand that. All she thinks is that a band ruined her perfect son.

JESSE: How long ago was it? That you quit school, I mean.

(Erik opens his mouth a little, then blushes and looks down.)

ERIK: It was... last year.

JESSE: (shocked) Last year? How old are you?

ERIK: (very quietly) Seventeen.

JESSE: (amazed) Seventeen? You're that young?

ERIK: Yeah, I... I skipped a grade when I was younger and finished my junior year when I had just turned sixteen.

JESSE: (impressed) You must be smart.

ERIK: (bitterly) Yeah, right. If I was smart, I wouldn't be a friendless high-school dropout who ruined his parents' lives.

JESSE: (awkwardly, yet genuinely wanting to make Erik feel better) Look, I'm sure it wasn't your fault about your parents. I mean, this stuff happens.

ERIK: (still looking down) Yeah. To someone else.

JESSE: And you're not friendless. I mean... (gently) We're friends, aren't we?

(Erik looks at him shyly.)

ERIK: We are? I mean... I want to be, but I kinda thought I might... bother you, 'cos of the stuff with the bands and--

JESSE: (interrupting firmly) Yeah. We're friends.

(He smiles at Erik, who returns the smile, still shyly. Suddenly Erik looks abashed.)

ERIK: Damn, I was so busy bitching I forgot you were the one who wanted to talk. Is something up?

JESSE: Well, um... sorta.

(He falls silent. Erik watches him for a moment worriedly.)

ERIK: Can I, uh, do anything?

JESSE: (shrugs) Nah. It's just... I'm not happy.

ERIK: (prompting) With what?

JESSE: (looks down) Jane.

ERIK: Oh. (pauses) Why not? Do you like someone else?

JESSE: (hesitantly, thinking) No... not really. I mean, sometimes I think I sorta like Daria, but I don't guess I do. (shrugs) She's cool and all, but... she's my friend, you know?

ERIK: (softly) Yeah. Your friend.

JESSE: So... I dunno what it is. (He looks down sadly.) I just kinda realized that Jane and I just don't... get along. She doesn't... get me.

ERIK: Well... why don't you break up with her?

(Jesse looks at him, open honesty in his face.)

JESSE: (simply) I'm scared to.

ERIK: (surprised) Why?

JESSE: (shrugs again) Just 'cos. I mean, Trent's my best friend and everything, and if I dumped his little sister... He really loves Jane, and he might be mad. And Daria might too, 'cos Jane's like her best friend. And... (pitifully) I don't want to be alone.

ERIK: (gently) Jesse, think about what you're saying. You're worried about hurting Trent and Daria--but not Jane.

(Jesse looks surprised, then nods slowly.)

JESSE: I... I didn't think about it that way. I mean, I don't want to hurt Jane, but...

ERIK: (still gently) ...but you are already, by staying with her when neither of you is happy. Listen, it's like something Stacy was saying yesterday. She was all upset because two of her friends were mad at her. They were like ganging up on Daria's sister, and it hurt Stacy because she's her best friend. But these other two girls were going to ditch Stace if she stuck by Quinn.

(Jesse looks a little confused.)

ERIK: See... no matter what she does, somebody's going to be unhappy. If she stays friends with Quinn, she'll lose her other two friends. But if she ditches Quinn, then she'll be miserable because she lost her best friend. Whatever she decides, it'll have to be the lesser of two evils--and that's gonna mean whatever makes her happiest.

(Slowly, Jesse seems to understand.)

JESSE: So you're saying... people are gonna be upset anyway, so I should do what I wanna do?

ERIK: (smiles a little) Exactly. (softly) And Jesse... Stacy's going to learn who her true friends are. I have a feeling she'll pick Quinn over the other two, because Quinn's the one she really loves. And I bet those other girls are going to ditch both of them--because they don't really care about Stace. If Trent and Daria really care about you--and I think they do--they'll still be your friends--and so will Jane. It may like take a while, but someday it'll all come back.

JESSE: (with doubtful hope) You... really think so?

ERIK: I hope so. (looking down) But... even if they don't... I'll... be here.

JESSE: (softly) I know.

(Cut to Daria in the hall outside her hotel room. She hesitates, then gingerly opens the door. The room is empty. She looks relieved and hurries inside. Daria quickly grabs her suitcase and backpack, stuffing the Smiley pillow into her bag. She starts to leave with her things, then pauses. Finally Daria picks up a piece of paper lying on the nightstand and scribbles a note. She leaves it lying on the nightstand, picks up her bags, and leaves the room.)

(Cut to Daria outside the door to Quinn's room with her things. Just as she's about to knock on the door, Stacy comes up behind her. Stacy's eyes are red, as if she's been crying, but she's basically in more control than ever before.)

STACY: Daria? What are you doing?

DARIA: (slightly embarrassed) Um... I was going to see if it was all right for me to stay in here tonight.

STACY: (surprised) Um, well, sure, I don't mind, but... we'll have to ask the others.

(Stacy opens the door. She and Daria enter the room to see Quinn sitting on one of the double beds, crying. Jamie is standing beside her awkwardly. Both look up in surprise as Daria and Stacy enter the room. Cut to shot of Daria and Stacy.)

STACY: (worriedly) Quinn! What's wrong?

(Cut back to Quinn.)

QUINN: (miserably) It's a long story.

(Cut to a bit later. Daria and Stacy are sitting on one bed, facing Jamie and Quinn, who are sitting on the other. Daria is quietly seething.)

DARIA: (furious at what's been done to her little sister) I... I can't believe even Sandi would stoop so low!

QUINN: (sniffles sadly) I don't know why she hates me now... I never ever wanted to make her mad, really! (She takes a trembling breath.) And what's like even worse is that now everyone think's Jamie got me pregnant, so now no one will talk to him either! And they're mad at Stacy too, just because she's still my friend. (More tears slide down Quinn's face.) Why did they have to do this to my friends too?

(Daria looks at Quinn a moment with an almost tender expression, relieved that Quinn isn't just worried about herself.)

DARIA: (gently) Look, why don't we call Mom and Dad? (seeing Quinn's horrified expression; quickly) I don't mean tell them, of course, just to check in. We haven't called today, and it'll make you feel better.

(Quinn has stopped crying. She sniffles again.)

QUINN: All--all right.

(Daria picks up the phone and dials. It rings several times, then the answering machine picks up.)

DARIA: (to Quinn) Damn. It's the machine. Should we leave a message?

QUINN: (rather pitifully) Yeah. I guess.

(Cut to the Morgendorffer's house as the phone starts ringing. Helen is sitting at the kitchen table doing paperwork. She glances at the phone, irritated, then lets the machine pick up. She doesn't look up as Daria begins her message.)

DARIA: (phone VO, much flatter than usual) Mom, Dad, it's me. Just letting you know that the vacation hasn't killed me. Yet. (She hesitates, and when she speaks again, her voice is a little shaky.) Here's Quinn.

(Helen glances at the machine, then returns to her work.)

QUINN: (phone VO, also shakily) Hi Mom, Daddy. I just wanted to say that I'm having a w-wonderful time, and t-that I love you both. I, uh... (She wavers, then says quickly, near tears) I'm just fine. Everything here is... (sniffles) is ab-b... absolutely... (She breaks down, bawling.) ...fiii-ine.

(Helen looks up and stares at the machine in alarm.)

DARIA: (phone VO, quickly) We'll call again later, bye.

(Helen jumps up and leaps for the receiver.)

HELEN: Hello? Hello, Daria? Daria!

(She hears only a dial tone. Helen stares at the phone, angrily guilty.)

HELEN: Damn!

(Cut to the room which now houses only Jane and Trent. The two Lane siblings slouch in, both looking miserably. Jane glances around the dark, quiet room.)

JANE: Hello? Daria? Jesse?

(Trent turns on a light and looks around, then spots Daria's note on the nightstand. He goes over and picks it up.)

TRENT: (reading) "I'm going to stay with Quinn tonight--I think I should stay out of this. Didn't want you to worry.--Daria." (He looks up.) She... left.

JANE: (slightly irritated) She's just down the hall, Trent. (hiding her worry) The real question is, where's Jesse?

TRENT: (reassuring) I'm sure he's fine, Jane. I mean, what could happen to him here? Besides, we wouldn't know where to look anyway.

JANE: (unconvinced) Yeah... I guess you're right.

(Trent puts his hand on her shoulder.)

TRENT: Let's get some sleep. Things'll be better tomorrow.

(Fade to several hours later. Each of the siblings has taken a double bed. Jane is sleeping fitfully, but Trent is still wide awake, staring at the ceiling. Finally he gets up, looking determined, and heads for the door.)

(Cut to Quinn's room, which is dark and silent... until there is a soft knocking on the door.)

QUINN: (sleepily) Mmm...? Whas that?

(The room brightens as Daria turns on the lamp. She fumbles for her glasses as Stacy, Quinn, and Jamie look around, puzzled. The knock comes again.)

QUINN: God, it's 2:30!

JAMIE: Nnnnnnnnnnuh.

(He collapses on the day bed again.)

DARIA: I'll get it.

(She goes to the door and looks out of the peephole. She steps back in surprise.)

QUINN: Daria? Who is it?

(Daria slowly unlocks the door and opens it. Trent is on the other side, looking rather meek.)

TRENT: Uh, Daria? Can we talk?

QUINN: Geez, do you know what time it--

STACY: (shushes her) Quinn, shh.

(Quinn looks from Stacy to her sister and lies back down again. Stacy lies down also.)

DARIA: (glancing down shyly) Okay.

TRENT: Let's go outside.

(Daria quietly follows him into the hall, turning out the light on the way. They take the elevator downstairs; Daria is a little embarrassed to realize that she's still wearing the t-shirt and shorts she sleeps in and that she is barefoot. Still, Trent doesn't seem to notice. He is lost in thought.)

(They get off the elevator. Trent hesitates, then leads Daria out the back door of the building. They find themselves in a quiet grassy area overlooking the lake.)

TRENT: Uh, is this okay?

DARIA: (softly) Yeah.

(They sit down on the grass at the edge of the water.)

TRENT: Daria, I, uh... I'm sorry. (He looks down forlornly.) I really didn't want to get involved with that this afternoon. I mean, I knew Jess and Janey were having problems and all... but... you know. I'm not mad at either of them, and I'm certainly not mad at you.

DARIA: I--I'm not mad at you either, Trent. Or Jane, really. But I... kinda feel like it's my fault.

TRENT: (looks at her, genuinely surprised) Why?

DARIA: Ever since Jesse and I pretended to go out... I think... I think it really hurt his relationship with Jane. And I feel responsible.

TRENT: Aww, Daria, it's not your fault. (He puts his arm around her shoulders, and she looks at him, surprised.) It wasn't you at all. I think they're just... not meant to be together anymore. (He gets that "Whoa, I'm having a deep thought" look on his face.) It's like... after a while, things change, you know? And people who liked each other move apart. And other people come together. It's like... fate.

DARIA: (smiles, just a little) Yeah. Fate.

TRENT: (realizes he's on to something) And maybe everything is fate. Like maybe you were meant to get your great-aunt's inheritance, just so we'd all come here. And so Jesse and Jane would break up.

DARIA: (shrugs) Maybe you're right. A lot has changed this trip. Like my sister's clique broke up this afternoon. And... did Jesse tell you about Erik?

TRENT: (puzzled) Erik?

DARIA: Yeah... the guy in that other band.

TRENT: Ohh. (frowning a little) Him.

DARIA: Jesse and I ran into him the first afternoon we were here. Trent, he's not like you think he is. I think... I think he's really lonely. And... (She hesitates, then speaks.) I think that's where Jesse went. To talk to Erik.

TRENT: He... did? (He looks thoughtful, then laughs a little.) You're right. Things are changing.

(Daria realizes that his arm is still around her. She smiles.)

DARIA: Maybe that's good.

TRENT: (not realizing what she means; shrugging) Maybe so.

(Daria shivers a little.)

DARIA: It's kind of cold here at night.

TRENT: (apologetically) Yeah, we should go back in.

DARIA: (hesitantly) We don't have to...

(Trent looks down at her in surprise, but she is looking out across the water. A look of surprised happiness comes over Trent's face and he smiles at her, even though Daria doesn't see him.)

TRENT: (gently) We probably better.

DARIA: Okay.

(Cut to them walking down the hall back to Quinn's room. Outside the door, Daria hesitates.)

DARIA: Trent... I'm really sorry things got so screwed up. Not just for Jane and Jesse, but... Quinn's having problems too. Maybe it was a mistake to take this trip--it's just hurting people.

TRENT: (firmly) You didn't have any way of knowing what would happen, Daria. It's not your fault. And besides... (more hesitantly) Maybe things will work out for the best. Fate, you know.

DARIA: (unconvinced) Yeah. Fate. (She sighs, then smiles very weakly.) G'night, Trent. See you tomorrow.

TRENT: (smiles back) Yeah. See you in the morning.

(Daria unlocks the door and goes in side. As the door closes, fade to black.)




CHAPTER SIX


(Scene opens overlooking the lake by the Grand Floridian hotel. It is dawn, and pale light reflects off the first monorail of the day, heading off to the Magic Kingdom. Zoom out to reveal that the POV is from the balcony of Quinn's room. Daria is sitting in one of the chairs, writing on a postcard.)

DARIA: (writing VO) Dear Amy, things have gotten horrible. One of Quinn's "friends" has started a rumor that Quinn is pregnant! On top of that, Jesse and Jane have gotten in a huge fight, and everyone's mad at everyone else.

(She stops writing for a minute, looks up, and sighs. She returns to the postcard after a moment.)

DARIA: (writing VO) Hopefully, we'll all survive today--it's the last day before we go home. I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to see Lawndale again. More later. Daria.

(After she finishes, Daria gets up and goes back inside. Quinn, Stacy, and Jamie appear to still be asleep, but as Daria enters the room, Quinn sits up sleepily.)

QUINN: Daria? Is it morning?

DARIA: (kindly) Yeah, but it's early. Go back to sleep. (She pauses.) Quinn?

QUINN: Yeah?

DARIA: I think I'm going back to my room. I need to talk to Jane.

QUINN: (worriedly) You sure? I mean, if you guys are fighting, you can stay here.

DARIA: No, I really think I should go make up with her. I'll see you later.

QUINN: Okay, Daria. (She pauses.) Good luck.

(Quinn lies down again. Daria looks at her a moment with a rather disbelieving expression, then she picks up her bags and quietly moves to the door.)

(Cut to Daria letting herself into Jane's and Trent's room. Jane is already awake and dressed, sitting cross-legged on one bed while Trent sleeps on in the other. As the door opens, Jane looks up in surprise, then looks even more surprised when she sees that it's Daria.)

JANE: Daria?

DARIA: Hey.

(She comes into the room and sets her bags down again. There is an awkward pause.)

JANE: So, um, what are you doing here?

DARIA: Umm... nothing. What about you?

JANE: Oh... nothing.

(There is another pause.)

DARIA: You're up kinda early.

JANE: Yeah, just... thinking. You know. (She pauses.) You know, you're up kinda early too.

DARIA: Yeah. Thinking. (Another pause. wryly) Looks like Trent's not doing too much thinking.

JANE: (laughs a little as the tension is somewhat broken) So what else is new?

(Daria sits down next to her on the bed.)

DARIA: So what were you guys planning on doing today?

JANE: I was thinking about going to Epcot Center. Haven't been there yet, and today's our last day.

DARIA: (looks down) Yeah. (quietly) Are you glad?

JANE: Well... (quietly also) Yeah. It was fun at first, but now...

DARIA: ...now everyone's sick of each other. I know. I'm ready to go home too.

JANE: (suddenly) Daria, I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have brought you and Trent into this crap about me and Jesse. It's not about you two.

DARIA: (looks at Jane, surprised, then smiles a little) Thanks, Jane. (She stands up.) C'mon, let's wake up Trent and head out. We should make our last day count.

JANE: Sounds good to me. But you can wake Trent up. I've already done my six impossible things before breakfast.

(Cut to the Grand Floridian's lobby. There are a few people there, as always, but it's for the most part deserted. Zoom in on a particular sofa, where Jesse and Erik have fallen asleep. Jesse has his head tilted back and is snoring slightly; Erik is sleeping on the other end of the sofa. Assorted people walk by them looking amused.)

(Finally, Erik begins to stir. He sits up and yawns, then looks around him in surprise. He nudges Jesse.)

ERIK: Hey, Jess, wake up.

(Jesse opens one eye. Erik looks at him.)

ERIK: It's morning.

JESSE: Too early.

(He closes his eye again. Erik smiles a little, then glances down at his watch.)

ERIK: Aw, crud!

(Jesse opens both eyes.)

JESSE: What?

ERIK: (jumps up) I forgot, we're leaving today! I've got to get back to our room.

JESSE: (stands up, yawning) Guess you'd better go, then.

ERIK: Yeah. (He glances down.) It was nice talking to you and stuff. Hope things work out with whatever you decide to do.

JESSE: Thanks, man. You too.

(There is a long pause.)

JESSE: You know, we're leaving tomorrow. Think we could hang out or something when I get back?

(Erik perks up.)

ERIK: Yeah, sure!

JESSE: (smiles) Great. I'll call you.

ERIK: All right. (He smiles shyly.) See ya.

JESSE: Yeah. See ya.

(He claps Erik on the shoulder. Erik grins, then hurries off to the monorail station. Jesse yawns again, then turns and heads towards his room.)

(Cut to the elevators on the floor where the Lawndale gang is staying. Jane, Daria, and a sleepy-looking Trent are waiting on the elevator. Jane is tapping her foot and looking rather impatient.)

JANE: Damn slow elevators.

(Finally, the elevator on the left dings. The three get in, and the doors close. A few seconds later, the elevator on the right dings. The doors open, and Jesse disembarks. He starts slouching toward his room, yawning. On his way, he passes Quinn, Stacy, and Jamie in the hall. All three look rather depressed.)

JESSE: (muttering to himself) I sure could use a shower. And some Frosted Flakes.

(The three younger teens stop and stare at him talking to himself. He doesn't notice them and instead disappears into his room. The three look at each other, shrug, and start walking again. Suddenly Quinn stops and looks distraught.)

QUINN: Aww, crap! I left my purse in the room!

JAMIE: (eagerly) Don't worry, Quinn, I'll go back and get it!

(He starts back down the hall again, but stops short as Brittany, Kevin, Jodie, and Mack emerge from their room. Jodie and Mack quietly start to walk by Quinn, but Kevin looks away, embarrassed. Brittany's lower lip trembles, then she bursts into tears.)

BRITTANY: Oh, Quinn, I'm so, so, sorry! This is so aw-awful! (She sniffles.) I don't care what other people say, I'll still be your friend! I'll baby-sit and stuff so you can still go out every once and a while, and I'll even still invite you to my parties! I promise!

(Quinn is strung out to the point where she is irritated rather than touched at Brittany's concern. She finally snaps.)

QUINN: For God's sake, I'm not freaking PREGNANT!

BRITTANY: (sniffles and stares) You're--you're not?

QUINN: (practically screaming) NO!

STACY: (quickly) Quinn, shh, it's all right!

QUINN: (still loudly) No, I will not shh! And it's not all right! I'm sick and tired of everyone believing all the crap Sandi says!

BRITTANY: (puzzled) But I haven't even talked to Sandi!

JODIE: (trying to calm Quinn down) Quinn, what exactly happened? All I heard was that Joey and Jeffy told Kevin that you were pregnant and that Jamie was the father. Then Kevin told Brittany, then Brittany told me.

QUINN: (too furious to speak coherently) Gah-ahd!

STACY: (patiently) Sandi was mad at Quinn, so she and Tiffany told Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie that Quinn was pregnant--which isn't true. Jamie talked to Quinn, and Quinn told him that Sandi was lying. When Jamie tried to tell the other boys, Sandi lied again and said that he was the one who got Quinn pregnant. Then when I stood up for Quinn, Sandi and Tiffany got mad at me too.

BRITTANY: (to Quinn) So... you're not pregnant?

QUINN: (tiredly now) No, Brittany. I'm not pregnant.

BRITTANY: (beams) Oh. Okay!

QUINN: (desperately) Jodie, I don't know what to do! If Sandi tells anyone back in Lawndale--

MACK: Hey, don't worry about it, Quinn. We all know Sandi's lying. We'll stick up for you.

KEVIN: Yeah, Quinn!

STACY: (glares at Kevin) You were the one who fell for it, you oaf!

(Everyone looks at meek little Stacy in surprise. After a moment, Kevin leans over to Brittany.)

KEVIN: (whispering) Uh, babe? What's an oaf?

JODIE: Mack's right, Quinn. No one will believe Sandi if all of us--not to mention Daria and Jane--tell them that she's lying. (She gets a surprisingly conniving look on her face.) But I've got an idea that Sandi won't want to lie by the time we get back to Lawndale.

BRITTANY: Ooh, is her nose going to grow like Pinnochio's or something? 'Cos that would be, like, really creepy!

MACK: I think someone's had a little too much Disney spirit.

JODIE: (to Quinn and Stacy) Do you know where Sandi is going today?

STACY: I think she's going to Epcot. At least, that's where we were planning on going, before... (She breaks off and looks ruefully at Quinn.)

JODIE: Great. I think we should just take a little trip out to Epcot ourselves... Don't you, Stacy?

(As the others look on, puzzled, Stacy looks at Jodie and very slowly begins to smile.)

STACY: Yeah. Yeah, I do.

(Cut to Epcot Center as Daria, Jane, and Trent walk in. Trent is looking up at Spaceship Earth, that giant geodesic sphere thing.)

TRENT: Whoa. It's like... like... a celestial golf ball.

JANE: (to Daria) I smell a song coming on...

DARIA: Gee, my dad would love it here. Finally, a golf ball he couldn't possibly lose. (to Jane) So where are we going anyway?

JANE: Umm... I dunno. Where do you guys want to go?

DARIA: (smiles) Wherever you want is fine with me.

JANE: (smiles a little) Okay then. There's a place about the ocean around here somewhere... How about we go see that?

TRENT: Cool. The ocean's, you know... inspirational.

DARIA: (smirks) Yeah, remember 'Titanic'?

TRENT: (grins) Yeah...

(Jane looks from one to the other suspiciously.)

JANE: Did I... miss something?

TRENT: Nope.

DARIA: Not a thing.

(As they walk off, Sandi, Tiffany, Joey, and Jeffy come into the park.)

JOEY: Hey, look! A giant golf ball!

TIFFANY: Whoooaaa.

JOEY: I want to go ride in it!

JEFFY: I want to go see the different countries across the lake thing!

TIFFANY: I want to go shopping.

SANDI: We are going to go see the little... attraction thingy about health.

JOEY & JEFFY: (moaning) Health?

JOEY: But Sandi, that's boring!

JEFFY: Yeah!

SANDI: (know-it-all voice) It's important to stay in shape wherever you are. Come on, we're going.

JOEY: But--

SANDI: (glaring) Do you two want to hang out with us or not?

JEFFY: (sighs) Okay, okay, we're coming.

(Sandi and Tiffany walk off, with the boys behind them.)

JEFFY: (muttering) I wish Quinn were here. She wouldn't make us go to some stupid "health" attraction.

JOEY: Yeah. (He sighs.) And it's weird without Jamie and Stacy around.

(As they follow Sandi away, a large group of the remaining Lawndalians arrives: Stacy, Quinn, Jamie, Brittany, Kevin, Jodie, and Mack. Stacy looks around.)

STACY: I don't see Sandi anywhere. Do you, Jodie?

JODIE: No...

KEVIN: Look, babe! A big golf ball!

BRITTANY: Ooooh, neat!

QUINN: (sulking) Why do we have to find Sandi anyway? I'd rather stay away from her.

JAMIE: Yeah, me too!

(He puts his arm around Quinn hesitantly and is delighted when she doesn't protest.)

JODIE: (knowing smile) You guys will change your mind once we find her. We're going to settle this thing once and for all.

MACK: If we find her. (looks around) This place is packed.

JODIE: (sighs) Yeah, you have a point... Tell you what, let's go find something to do. Maybe we'll see her on the way...

(The group moves off to the right. Cut to shot of the sky. The sun is low in the east, but it quickly moves upward in a time-lapse shot. As it reaches noon, pan back down to the park's entrance. Jesse is just now coming in, alone.)

JESSE: (looks up at Spaceship Earth) Whoa. That's one big golf ball.

(He wanders in to the park, looking around and heading unconsciously for the center of the park, an are behind Spaceship Earth. There is a stage there for the various shows that are put on during the day, and beyond the stage is a large open area for spectators.)

(Cut to Sandi, Tiffany, Joey, and Jeffy leaving the health pavillion. Joey and Jeffy look half asleep. They also are heading for the park's center.)

(Cut to Jodie's group as they leave their attraction. Brittany and Kevin are holding hands, as are Quinn and Jamie. Stacy, Jodie, and Mack are walking a little ahead of the others, talking. The group begins to walk towards the center of the park...)

(Cut to Daria's group leaving the ocean attraction. Jane is carrying a large stuffed dolphin. She says something and points toward the center of the park. Daria nods, and they begin to walk that way.)

(As the three groups and Jesse get closer and closer to the center independently, cut from one to the other in quick succession. They all reach the spot at the same time, and all look up and stare. There is complete silence for a moment, then...)

JOEY & JEFFY: Quinn?

QUINN: (glaring) Sandi, you bitch--

JANE: Jesse...

SANDI: (disdainfully) What are you doing here?

QUINN: What are you doing here?

SANDI: That's what I asked you, you little--

STACY: Leave Quinn alone!

JESSE: (looking hurt) I don't want to talk to you, Jane.

JANE: (glares) Oh, why not, you scared?

JESSE: No, I just--

BRITTANY: Sandi, I think it was really mean for you to lie about Quinn!

SANDI: Like, you keep out of this you overgrown--

BRITTANY: (folds arms over her chest) Overgrown?!?

(Cut to Daria as the yelling increases. She looks angrier and angrier.)

DARIA: (suddenly yelling) For God's sake, SHUT UP!

(Everyone falls silent and turns to stare at her.)

DARIA: (desperately) We were supposed to enjoy this trip. I didn't bring all of you here to fight!

QUINN & SANDI: (each pointing at the other) But she--

DARIA: (yells) Quiet!

(Their arms drop slowly. Daria looks a little bit uncertain about what to do next. However, Jodie takes over; Daria looks relieved.)

JODIE: Sandi, it was really rotten of you to tell a lie about Quinn, especially such a nasty one.

QUINN: (breaks in miserably) Sandi, why? Why would you say something so horrible?

SANDI: (glares) You always get all the attention, Quinn! I would think you'd be happy to get more of it!

(Quinn stares at her, obviously trying not to cry.)

QUINN: (quietly) Is that why you said it? You were jealous of me?

(Sandi only glares at her beligerantly.)

STACY: (in a deadly voice) I'll tell you one thing, Sandi. If you tell anyone in Lawndale about this, I'll--

SANDI: (interrupting, sneering) You'll what? Who would ever listen to you, Stacy?

STACY: (firmly) Daria did.

(Daria looks at her in surprise.)

STACY: She was the first person to treat me like a person, not just some little... part of you or Quinn.

SANDI: Oh, who cares about Daria?

TRENT: (immediately) I do.

(Daria looks as if someone just handed her the key to the Library of Congress.)

JANE: So do I.

JODIE: And me.

BRITTANY: Me too!

QUINN: (smiling at her sister) And me.

STACY: We all do, Sandi, and so should you. Daria's the whole reason we're here. You're an ungrateful, vengeful jerk just because you can't have your own way and be queen of everything!

(Sandi still doesn't seem to care... until Jodie speaks up again.)

JODIE: Sandi, if you say word one about this at home, we'll personally make sure no one ever speaks to you again.

SANDI: (scornfully) What, are you threatening me?

JODIE: Yeah. We are.

STACY: Maybe I couldn't do it by myself, but what if all of us, and all of our friends ignored you?

BRITTANY: Yeah! If, like, all us cheerleaders quit talking to you, an' Kevvie and all the football players ignored you, an' everyone who likes Quinn ignored you... that would be like, the whole school!

JANE: You forgot me and Daria, Brittany.

BRITTANY: Oh yeah! Oops!

(Sandi looks panicked, but she tries not to show it.)

SANDI: I... I don't care what you do! Everyone will listen to me over you anyway! (turns to Jeffy and Joey) Right, guys?

JOEY: Umm...

JEFFY: Well, uh, actually...

SANDI: (threateningly) Right?

(They look from her and Tiffany to Quinn and the others. Quinn gives them a scornful look.)

JOEY & JEFFY: (mournfully) Right, Sandi.

(She turns and storms off. Reluctantly, Joey, Jeffy, and Tiffany follow her.)

QUINN: (sadly) Do you really think it'll work? She didn't seem to care what we said...

JODIE: (with convinction) It'll work. She was actually worried, underneath.

BRITTANY: (sweetly) Yeah, don't worry, Quinn! We'll all stick up for you, no matter what Sandi does!

MACK: And we're really sorry that we even thought of believing her to begin with.

QUINN: (smiles weakly) Thanks you guys. (brightens) Hey, why don't we all go back to the hotel and go swimming?

JAMIE: Cool!

JODIE: Okay, great!

(Quinn suddenly remembers the other four. She turns to Daria, Jane, Jesse, and Trent.)

QUINN: Do you guys want to come too?

BRITTANY: Yeah, come with us!

(Jane looks sideways at Jesse, and Daria notices.)

DARIA: Um, actually we've got a few things to talk about ourselves. But thanks.

QUINN: Okay, see ya!

(She heads for the exit with the others following her; Stacy and Jodie smile at the other four as they leave.)

JANE: Well now, isn't that sweet. Although... you know, the ranks of the popular are divided now. (dramatic voice) Who will triumph? Which way will the cards fall?

DARIA: (deadpan) I'm dying to know. (looks sideways at Jane and Jesse) Speaking of working things out...

(They both glare at her.)

TRENT: (interrupts) Look you two. This has gone on long enough. Whatever's up with you guys, get it the hell over with, and quit making me and Daria suffer with it, okay?

(Jane opens her mouth to retort, but Jesse interrupts her.)

JESSE: Trent's right. We need to talk.

(Jane looks from one to another and realizes she's outnumbered. She sighs.)

JANE: Okay. (to Daria and Trent) Um, mind if we have some privacy?

DARIA: (quickly) Sure.

TRENT: Hey, let's go ride the big golf ball thing, Daria. (to the others) Should we come back here when we're done?

JANE: (smiles slightly) Yeah. We'll wait for you.

(Daria and Trent walk off towards Spaceship Earth. Daria glances back over her shoulder and sighs.)

DARIA: I hope they don't end up killing each other.

TRENT: They'll probably end up back together. (He rolls his eyes.) They've done this before, although it wasn't ever this bad. In fact, it's starting to get kind of old.

DARIA: (looks at him) Really?

TRENT: Yeah. I guess... I guess maybe they should just break up. It would be a lot easier. (He looks sad.) I don't like to see either of them unhappy.

DARIA: Yeah, me either. (She notices that they are nearing the ride. changing the subject) This thing's even bigger when you get up close to it.

TRENT: (looks up) Whoa.

(They get in the line, which isn't too long.)

TRENT: So, is your sister gonna be okay now?

DARIA: Yeah, I think so. (smirks) Her fan club didn't suffer too much of a loss. And I'd almost say she's getting nicer. (more seriously) Although I think the one who's really changed is Stacy. She's actually thinking for herself for a change.

(Trent looks at her fondly.)

TRENT: (abruptly) That's one thing I like about you, Daria. You never let anyone else's opinion influence you.

DARIA: (blushes a little) Um, thanks. (looks down) Although that's not always true.

TRENT: (shrugs) Well, don't worry about it. Maybe everyone has at least one or two people they always want to please. Like me for instance. I always want to make the band happy, and of course Janey and you. When I let you guys down, I feel like a failure.

DARIA: You're not a failure, Trent. And I know Jane would agree--you never let us down.

(They stand still, look at each other, and smile. The man behind them glares.)

MAN: Would you two move it? You're next in line!

(Both jump and look embarrassed, then hurry to get on the ride. It consists of a train of two-seater cars that run on a track up through the big sphere. Daria and Trent get into one car and settle back in their seats.)

(The ride takes them through various scenes of man's history, from the cavemen to ancient Greece to the Dark Ages. Daria and Trent don't speak, but both look happy. Suddenly, however, the ride grinds to a halt in a dim spot between scenes. An announcement comes over the speaker saying that the ride was momentarily paused.)

TRENT: Crud.

DARIA: They must be loading a wheel chair or something. (looks around) Great place to stop too. Nothing to look at.

(She turns her head to find Trent watching her.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Never mind.

(They stare at each other for a long moment, neither speaking. Finally Trent leans forward a little.)

TRENT: (nervously) Daria...?

DARIA: (weakly) Yeah?

(The ride starts up again. Trent sits back quickly, looking a little relieved.)

TRENT: Oh, it's starting again.

DARIA: Good. (thought VO) Damn.

(Cut to them coming outside after getting off the ride a few minutes later. Both are a little awkward, even though nothing happened after the ride started moving again.)

DARIA: I... guess we should go check on Jane and Jesse.

TRENT: Yeah...

(They walk back to where they left the other two. Both are still there; Daria is surprised to see Jane wipe her eyes quickly. However, Jane seems her normal self as Trent and Daria approach.)

JANE: Hey! How was the ride?

DARIA: It was... interesting.

TRENT: (quickly) Yeah. Interesting. Um, how was... umm...

JANE: (with a small smile) It's okay, Trent. We... decided to break up.

TRENT: (surprised) You... did?

JESSE: Yeah.

(Neither offers further explanation, yet they no longer seem angry with each other. Daria wisely decides not to press the issue.)

DARIA: So... do you think we should take Quinn up on her offer for a swimming party?

(They start walking towards the park's exit.)

JANE: Heck, why not? (smirks) A little social interaction would be good for you, kiddo...

DARIA: Jane, you sound like my dad...

(Fade to later that night. The Fab Four are back in their original room. Jesse's asleep on one bed, and Jane's stretched out on the day bed, sketching. Trent's on the other bed, listening to his Walkman. Daria's at the table, writing Amy.)

DARIA: (writing VO) Dear Amy, Please disregard the last postcard. Quinn got her revenge on Sandi, and Jane and Jesse have broken up, so maybe they'll quit fighting so much. I can't say that everything's back to normal... but maybe that's good, in a way. Me, I'm fine. Maybe I'll talk to you when I get home? Daria.

(She looks up and glances at Jane.)

DARIA: Jane?

JANE: (quits drawing) Yeah?

DARIA: Are you okay? I mean, about... Jesse and all.

JANE: (smiles a little) Yeah. I'm okay. I... guess I should tell you the truth. I didn't want to break up with him. It's not that I... love him or anything, it's just that we've been together so long and...

(She breaks off and looks down. Daria looks sympathetic.)

DARIA: I understand. But... why did you?

JANE: (looks up again) Because he said he wanted to. It's weird, but it's the first time he's ever really told me what he wants. Maybe he learned something from Stacy. (She gives Daria a watery smile.)

DARIA: Well... (awkwardly) I'm sorry, Jane.

JANE: Don't be. I know I don't tell you this much, but... you're a great friend, Daria.

(Daria looks pleased, but she hides it with a smirk.)

DARIA: (deadpan) Stop, you're making me blush.

JANE: (grinning) Nah, I'll leave that to Trent.

DARIA: (cheerfully) Go to hell, Jane.

JANE: I'll save you a seat. (She settles back down on the day bed and closes her eyes.) Good night, Daria.

DARIA: (smiles) Good night, Jane.




CHAPTER SEVEN


(Scene opens in front of the Grand Floridian hotel. All fifteen Lawndalians are there with their suitcases, waiting for the taxis they called to show up.)

BRITTANY: (sniffling) It's so sad we're leaving! It's (sniff) been so great and exciting and everything here with you guys! (She sniffles again, then suddenly throws her arms around Daria.) Dariaaaaaaaaaa! Thank you for doing this for us!

DARIA: (looks stunned and pats Brittany on the back awkwardly) Um, you're welcome...

JODIE: Seriously, Daria, I think we all had a really great time.

(She glances over at Sandi, who is off to one side with Tiffany, Joey, and Jeffy. Sandi is glaring, and the rest look miserable.)

JODIE: Well, I think most of us did, anyway.

MACK: Can you believe that school starts next week? This summer sure flew by.

DARIA: (almost smiling) Yeah. It did.

(Four taxis pull up to the hotel. Kevin awkwardly helps Brittany, now in full-fledged sobs, into the first, accompanied by Jodie and Mack. Sandi and her group get into the next without a word. Quinn, Stacy, and Jamie get into the third taxi, leaving the last for Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse.)

JANE: Well... I guess this is it. (Her voice grows melodramatic.) No matter what happens... we'll always have the Magic Kingdom!

DARIA: (makes a face) Blargh. Get in the taxi, Jane.

(Jane grins back and complies, followed by the others. Fade on the taxi heading off to the airport.)

(Fade into the airport parking lot back home much later. It is getting dark as Trent and Jesse finish tying the last of the luggage to the top of the Tank.)

TRENT: Man, it's good to know no one tried to steal the Tank.

JESSE: Yeah.

JANE: (to Daria) Otherwise, we'd know there was a lunatic wandering around.

JESSE: (to Trent) You gonna drive?

TRENT: Nah, why don't you do it? That way you can let us all out, then just drive the Tank back to your and Max's place.

JESSE: Cool.

(He climbs into the driver's seat. Everyone begins piling into the back of the van. Daria watches as Jane gets into the back with everyone else, without so much as a glance at Jesse. When Trent follows her into the back, Daria hesitantly gets into the passenger seat beside Jesse. He cranks the van and starts driving back towards Lawndale. After a long pause, Daria glances at him.)

DARIA: Jesse?

JESSE: Yeah?

DARIA: (hesistates) Are you okay?

JESSE: (looks at her) Yeah. I am. In fact...

DARIA: Yeah?

JESSE: I'm pretty good.

(He smiles at Daria and turns back to the road. Daria does the same.)

(Cut to the dimly lit interior of the Tank, crowded with people. Time lapse; people fade out as one by one, they are dropped off at their homes. Finally, as Jesse pulls up in front of Stacy's house, only her, the Lanes, and the Morgendorffers are left. Trent and Quinn are asleep; Jane is dozing fitfully. Stacy stands up and yawns.)

STACY: (to Jesse) Thanks for the ride.

JESSE: No problem.

(She turns to Daria.)

STACY: Daria? Thanks for taking us all on this trip. And...

DARIA: (almost smiling) Yes?

STACY: Well... I guess I've always wanted to be like Quinn. And now... now I kinda want to be like you too.

(Daria looks a little worried.)

STACY: But you know who I want to be the most like? (She pauses, then smiles.) Me.

(Daria smiles back, looking somewhat relieved.)

DARIA: You're on your way.

(Stacy hugs her abruptly. Daria looks very surprised.)

STACY: Bye, Daria.

(She gets out of the Tank and hurries toward her house. Jesse starts driving toward the Morgendorffers'.)

JESSE: I wanted to thank you too, Daria.

DARIA: Oh, that's okay.

JESSE: Not just about the trip, though.

DARIA: (looks at him) Oh?

JESSE: (as if he's choosing his words carefully) You're... different. You've made me realize... that I can be myself too.

DARIA: (wryly, although she's secretly touched) I seem to have that effect on people. (more seriously) Umm... you didn't break up with Jane because of anything I said, did you?

JESSE: No. It wasn't you. (pauses) It was Erik.

DARIA: (surprised) Erik?

JESSE: Yeah. He... I dunno. Made me understand some things. The same things I started to understand because of you.

DARIA: And you're happy now?

JESSE: (thinks) I'm starting to be.

(Pan back to show Jane seated on the floor behind Daria's seat. After hearing their conversation, she sighs sadly, then glares.)

(Cut to the exterior of the Tank as it pulls up in front of the Morgendorffer house. Cut back to the interior as Daria gets up and gently shakes Quinn awake.)

DARIA: We're home.

QUINN: (yawns) Okay...

(Both girls get out of the van. As Daria leaves, she looks for a long moment at the sleeping Trent wistfully. Then she gets out of the Tank, waves to Jesse, and follows Quinn inside. In a moment, the Tank rumbles off into the night.)

(Cut to the interior of the Morgendorffer house as Daria and Quinn come in. Helen, Jake, and Amy are seated on the couches, waiting for the girls.)

DARIA: (surprised) Aunt Amy?

(Helen jumps up and hurries over to the girls.)

HELEN: (worriedly) Are you two okay?

(Quinn and Daria exchange a secret almost-smile.)

QUINN: Yeah, Mom. We're fine.

(She hugs her mother.)

QUINN: (softly) I'm just glad to be home.

(Helen lets go of Quinn and turns to her other daughter.)

HELEN: What about you, Daria? Are you all right?

DARIA: Yeah. I'm all right.

QUINN: (yawns) I'm really tired. I think I'll go on to bed. (to her parents, shyly) Would you... come tuck me in? Please?

(Helen and Jake exchange bemused glances, then Helen smiles.)

HELEN: Of course, honey.

(They start upstairs. Helen pauses and looks at Daria.)

HELEN: Are you going to bed now too, Daria?

DARIA: No... I'll be there a little later.

HELEN: Okay, sweetie.

(She, Jake, and Quinn go on upstairs. When they're gone, Daria turns to Amy, who is still seated on the couch.)

DARIA: (slightly smiling) What are you doing here?

AMY: (smirking) After all those postcards, I thought you might need some more moral support when you got home. But you seem to have handled things on your own.

DARIA: (smiles fully) Yeah. I guess I did. (tries to stifle a yawn) I'll tell you all about it once some of the after-effects have worn off.

AMY: (stands up) Actually, there's another reason I'm here. (She pauses, looking slightly worried.) Silver Goddess is having a reunion.

DARIA: Here in Lawndale?

AMY: (nods) Yeah... it turns out that Sheila's moved here. Something about wanting to be closer to her family. (Her look darkens slightly.) At least, that's what Tiny told me. I haven't spoken to Sheila since... (She trails off, then continues to speak normally.) Anyway, we're supposed to all meet up on Monday.

DARIA: (wryly) This I'd like to see.

AMY: (smiles a little) Yeah. Too bad you have to go back to school...

DARIA: Actually... after this summer, I think school will seem like a vacation.

(Cut to the Morgendoffers' living room mid-afternoon on the next day, Saturday. Quinn and Jamie are seated together on one sofa, and Stacy is on the other. All three are watching TV. Daria comes down the stairs and glances at them. The doorbell rings, and she answers it to find Jane.)

JANE: So, have you recovered from our trip to Hell yet?

DARIA: I'm working on it.

(The two come inside.)

JANE: Actually, I came over to ask if you wanted to go to McGrundy's tonight.

DARIA: Why, does Mystik Spiral have a gig?

JANE: Nah... it's just something to do. (smirks) After Disney World, this place seems pretty boring.

DARIA: Jane, compared to slug races, Lawndale is boring. (She pauses. casually) Is Trent coming?

JANE: (smirks again) Daria, Daria, Daria. Don't tell me our little introvert is actually asking after a guy.

(Daria gives her a Look.)

JANE: (holds up hands) Okay, okay, yeah, he's coming. Geez!

(Daria glances over to the three younger teens on the sofas. Quinn is leaning on Jamie's shoulder; both look content. Stacy looks at them and sighs a little.)

DARIA: (quietly) Hey Jane? Would you mind if Stacy came with us?

JANE: (surprised) Stacy?

DARIA: Yeah. Quinn and Jamie are going out on a date tonight, and... I think she's kind of lonely. (looks at Stacy) She's starting to change, but it's hard to change that fast. She still needs other people.

JANE: Well... I don't know that McGrundy's is exactly her scene, but what the hey. Just don't blame me if she goes goth on us.

DARIA: (smirks) Okay, deal.

JANE: We'll pick you two up here then. See ya tonight.

(She turns to the door.)

DARIA: Jane?

JANE: (pauses) Yeah?

DARIA: Thanks.

(Cut to the Lane house. Trent is in his room, awake for once. He picks up the duck phone and dials Jesse's and Max's number. Max picks up, looking sleepy.)

MAX: H'lo?

TRENT: Hey man. 'S me.

MAX: (in a laid-back way) Hey. How was the trip? Jess has been sleeping ever since he got back.

TRENT: Then he hasn't told you?

MAX: Told me what?

TRENT: He broke up with Janey. For good this time.

MAX: (sympathetically) Aww, that sucks.

TRENT: Well... I dunno. I think maybe it's for the best. (pauses) Anyway, some of us are heading over to McGrundy's to hang out tonight. You wanna come?

MAX: Can't man, sorry. I told my parents I was coming over tonight. And Nicholas is with his kid.

TRENT: Okay, it's cool. When Jess wakes up, will you tell him to meet us over there?

MAX: Sure, I--oh wait, he's up. Hang on.

(He hands the phone to Jesse.)

JESSE: (sleepily) Hunh...

TRENT: Hey Jess. It's Trent.

JESSE: Nuh.

TRENT: Listen, me and the girls are going to McGrundy's tonight. You want to meet us there?

JESSE: Yunh.

TRENT: Okay, be there around nine.

JESSE: Nnn.

TRENT: Bye.

(He hangs up. Jesse stands there a minute, nearly asleep, then he opens his eyes with a jerk.)

JESSE: (into phone) Trent?

(He looks at the phone in bemusement a minute, then shrugs. He thinks a minute, then dials another number. After a moment, Erik picks up.)

ERIK: (somewhat dejectedly) Hello?

JESSE: Erik? It's Jesse.

ERIK: (looks surprised) Jesse?

JESSE: Yeah.

(There is a long silence.)

ERIK: Umm... well?

JESSE: Hunh?

ERIK: (prompting) You called me for something...?

JESSE: What? Oh. Yeah.

(There is another long silence as Jesse somehow falls asleep again standing up.)

ERIK: Hello? (No response. loudly) Jesse!

(Jesse starts and wakes up again.)

JESSE: Hello?

ERIK: Er, are you okay?

JESSE: Yeah.

ERIK: (trying not to laugh) Um, you sound kind of tired. Maybe you should call back when you're awake?

JESSE: Nah, I'm okay. (blinks) I was gonna see if you wanted to come to McGrundy's with us tonight.

ERIK: (grins) Sure. (He suddenly looks hesistant.) Wait, who's "us"?

JESSE: Me and Trent. Jane and Daria too, I guess.

ERIK: (quietly) Are you sure they wouldn't care?

JESSE: They won't mind. Really.

ERIK: (looks unconvinced) If you say so... but yeah. I'll come.

(Cut to outside the Morgendorffers' later that night. Daria, Stacy, and Amy are standing near the road.)

STACY: (happily) Thanks for inviting me to come with you guys, Daria!

DARIA: You're welcome. Just one piece of advice.

STACY: Yeah?

DARIA: If you can't tell if a person is male or female, don't dance with it.

STACY: (looks blank) Umm... okay.

AMY: (to Daria) Looks like she's about to discover a whole other world.

(Trent's car pulls up in front of the house. Jane and Trent are in the front; Stacy, Daria, and Amy get in the back.)

AMY: Hope you don't mind me coming along.

TRENT: (grins at her in the mirror) Nah. You know you're cool.

(Daria looks slightly annoyed.)

AMY: Trent, my band's having a reunion this week.

TRENT: Really? Awesome.

AMY: (glances at Daria sideways) Let's hope so.

(Cut to the exterior McGrundy's as the five walk inside. They spot Jesse off to one side with Erik, who looks somewhat nervous.)

JANE: (glares) What's he doing here?

(The five walk over to the two boys, with Stacy looking around her in amazement.)

TRENT: Hey man.

JESSE: Hey. (motions at Erik) I invited Erik to come with us.

JANE: (under her breath) Oh goodie.

DARIA: (to Amy) This is Erik, one of our... friends. Erik, this is my aunt, Amy.

AMY: (shakes his hand) Nice to meet you.

ERIK: (looks a little more relaxed) Thanks. You too.

(Gregory McGrundy, the pub's Mansonite manager, notices them and comes over.)

GREGORY: Trent! Jesse! It's great to see you guys! It's always nice when the bands show up even when they don't, you know, have a gig that night.

(Trent gives Daria a long-suffering look, but shakes Gregory's hand.)

GREGORY: (to Erik) You look familiar... Ohhh, you're that boy who quit your band on stage, weren't you?

ERIK: (looks a little embarrassed) Yeah. That's me.

(Gregory starts shaking Erik's hand enthusiastically, surprising him.)

GREGORY: Nice to see you again!

ERIK: (extracts his hand from the handshake) Um, thanks.

(Gregory suddenly notices Amy.)

GREGORY: (shyly) Umm... don't think I've seen you around here before.

AMY: Nah. I'm not from Lawndale.

TRENT: (puts his hand on Daria's shoulder to indicate her to Gregory) She's Daria's aunt. (to Amy) This is Gregory McGrundy, the pub's manager.

(Daria and Gregory both blush a little.)

GREGORY: Nice to meet you.

(He holds out his hand to her. Amy shakes it.)

AMY: I'm Amy Barksdale.

(Gregory glances at the stage; some people are beginning to set up band equipment.)

GREGORY: Oh, the Harpies are getting ready to play. I've gotta go talk to them--they just got a new girl in. (mostly to Amy) I'll, uh, see you guys later.

(He hurries off.)

TRENT: I'm gonna go get some food. You hungry, Jess?

JESSE: (eagerly) Yeah.

TRENT: (to the others) Be right back.

(He and Jesse amble off. Noticing that Erik looks a little lost, Stacy starts talking to him.)

STACY: Wow, I've never been here before. This place is neat.

ERIK: (warming up a little) Yeah. We don't have anything like this in Manningham...

(Off to one side, Amy, Daria, and Jane are watching the stage.)

DARIA: (grimly, to Jane) The Harpies? Isn't that...

JANE: (to Daria) Yeah. Monique's band. (grins) Hey, don't look so worried. Trent hasn't talked to her in a long time. I think they really did break up for good.

(They look up at the stage, where Gregory is talking to Monique. Amy studies Monique, then turns back to Daria with a smile.)

AMY: Don't worry. She doesn't have anything on ya, Daria.

DARIA: (mumbles, sounding unsure) Thanks.

(As Trent and Jesse return, Gregory leaves the stage and the rest of the band comes on. Besides Monique there are two other girls. Daria looks surprised.)

DARIA: Andrea and Veronica? They're in Monique's band?

TRENT: (overhearing) Andrea's been in it a while. She's pretty cool. I don't know the other girl though.

JANE: She's in our class at school. Hunh, cool.

(Cut to the stage. Andrea takes her place behind the drums as Veronica puts on an electric guitar. Monique steps up to the microphone.)

MONIQUE: Guess what everybody? It's Mainstream Night!

(Assorted groans issue from the audience. Cut to Daria and the others.)

DARIA: Mainstream night?

TRENT: Yeah. The Harpies do this thing every once in a while. They play covers of Top 40 songs.

(Jesse makes a derisive noise.)

TRENT: Actually though, it's pretty funny. They get people up on stage to do karaoke, and the girls play all the songs like really metal and stuff.

DARIA: (wryly) I can't wait.

MONIQUE: (offscreen VO) Allll right, who's up for a little karaoke?

AMY: (deadpan) So this is what young people do to socialize nowadays. I feel so old.

(Jane gets a plotting look on her face.)

JANE: Hey Erik, why don't you try your hand up there? Who knows, if you're willing to wear drag, the Harpies might let you in.

(Erik starts to look annoyed, then the look fades and he smiles.)

ERIK: Good idea. Thanks, Jane.

(He walks towards the stage. Jane looks puzzled, and Jesse looks slightly vindicated.)

(Cut to the stage as Erik goes up, actually looking self-confident.)

MONIQUE: Heeeey, looks like we got a volunteer. (She looks at the audience conspiratorially.) And he's a cute one! (She winks as Erik does the "I'm number one" hand thing.) What's your pleasure, hon?

(Cut back to the others.)

DARIA: This is frightening.

JANE: (to Daria, smirking) At least Monique's not hitting on Trent this time. Otherwise, we'd have a dead Goth on our hands.

(Cut back to the stage. The Harpies have begun playing a very odd-sounding cover of Offspring's "Pretty Fly" song. Erik is up in front, while Monique and Veronica are sharing a mic.)

MONIQUE & VERONICA: (singing) Give it to me, baby! Give it to me, baby!

(Cut back to the others as the song continues. Amy is off to one side, talking to Gregory, Stacy and Jesse are watching Erik, and the others are trying to keep their food down.)

DARIA: (deadpan) I think I need some fresh air. (to Jane) I'm going to go sit outside for a while.

TRENT: (without warning) I'll come with you, Daria.

DARIA: (surprised) Um, okay...

(Jane smirks but manages to refrain from commenting as the two head outside. After they're gone, she runs over to Amy, grabs her wrist, and drags her away from Gregory.)

JANE: C'mon, Barksdale. We've got a top secret mission to carry out.

AMY: (wryly) Aye, aye, Commander Lane.

(Fade off music and cut to Daria and Trent outside. They are now seated on the curb, looking up at the starry sky.)

TRENT: So... (He trails off.)

DARIA: (echoing him with a slight smile) So...

TRENT: What d'ya think of our week? (wryly) It was kinda strange.

DARIA: Well... I guess things turned out all right after all. (smirks) Although I doubt Aunt Sarah knew what she was getting me into when she left me that money.

TRENT: You think she'd be upset? I mean, that all this stuff happened because of the trip?

(Daria is quiet for a moment.)

DARIA: (looks up at the sky and smiles ever so slightly) No, I don't. In fact... I think she approves.

TRENT: Maybe it's the fate thing. You know. Like... what's meant to be will happen. (hesitantly) The only thing is... (He trails off.) Never mind.

DARIA: (looks at him) No, what?

TRENT: It's just... well, I've spent a lot of time waiting around for stuff, figuring that. Figuring that if it's meant to be, it'll happen. And so far, not much has happened.

DARIA: Well... maybe sometimes you wait for stuff to happen, and it does happen. Like Aunt Sarah just happened. And then sometimes you have to make it happen.

TRENT: (gets a deep-thought look) Whoa. I think you're right, Daria. There's, like, fate that just happens, and fate you can control. And... the biggest problem is knowing the difference.

DARIA: (a little nervously) So, did you enjoy your brush with fate this week?

TRENT: Yeah. I really did. It's the most excitement I've had in a while. What about you?

DARIA: (thoughtfully) Yeah... I enjoyed it too, in spite of all the stuff that happened.

(She looks at Trent. He's watching her encouragingly. Daria looks away and takes a deep breath as if she's about to say something, but she remains quiet.)

TRENT: What?

DARIA: (a little huntedly) I didn't say anything.

TRENT: (promptingly) But you started to.

DARIA: (slightly embarrassed) Oh, uh... I was just going to say... I, um, enjoyed getting to know you better.

TRENT: Oh. (matter of factly) Well, I liked spending time with you too.

(He doesn't seem particularly romantic about it, and Daria's face falls a little.)

DARIA: Well... I guess maybe I should be getting home before too much longer. I'm still sort of tired.

(Trent looks upset, but hides it quickly.)

TRENT: C'mon, stick around at least a little longer. It's not that late.

DARIA: Um... all right.

(There is a long pause, then...)

TRENT: Daria--

DARIA: (at the same time) Trent--

(They look at each other and laugh. Almost as suddenly they stop laughing and just look at each other.)

DARIA: (quietly) What were you going to say?

(Trent hesistates, then very slowly reaches out and touches her cheek. Daria freezes as still as a rabbit caught in headlights, her eyes wide.)

TRENT: I was just going to say what I started to say in the giant golf ball.

DARIA: (still paralyzed) Wh-what?

(Trent hesistates only a moment more.)

TRENT: (whispering very softly) This.

(He slowly leans over and gently kisses her lips. Daria doesn't react at all; she just stays frozen. Trent starts to pull away, looking disappointed, when Daria suddenly leans forward and kisses him back. The kiss is not very long but infinitely gentle. Then she pulls back.)

DARIA: (mumbling) I, uh... really had better get home. My parents--

TRENT: (gently) Okay. (He smiles at her.) Good night, Daria.

DARIA: (looks up shyly and smiles back just a little) 'Night, Trent.

(She gets up quickly and hurries off, looking a little overwhelmed. Trent watches her go, still smiling a little, then he leans back and looks up at the stars. Pan past him to show Jane and Amy just inside the door to McGrundy's, unnoticed. Jane looks positively shocked; Amy is only smiling softly.)

JANE: I... I can't believe it. They did it. They finally did it!

AMY: (wryly) And if they knew you'd seen them, it would have been the last thing you witnessed.

JANE: I... oh man. (She leans against the door frame as a slow grin spreads over her face.) Finally. All my hard work paid off. (slightly annoyed) But why did she just get up and leave? I mean... geez!

AMY: (puts her hand on Jane's shoulder, smiling knowingly) Give her time, Jane. It's a big step for her. And Trent too, I think.

(Jane looks at her brother for a long minute.)

JANE: You know... I think you're right.

AMY: (gently) Come on, let's go back in. (smirking) I gave in and promised Gregory a dance.

JANE: (grins back) They're going to make a goth of you yet.

(The two turn and go back inside. Slow fade to the interior of McGrundy's as the Harpies begin to play "Closing Time" by Semisonic. Zoom in on Monique as she begins to sing an almost straight cover of the song. Montage of scenes begins as she sings...)

MONIQUE: (singing) Closing time, time for you to go out, go out into the world.

(Pan out from her to show the whole band: her, Veronica, and Andrea. Linger on them a moment, the pan around the room.)

MONIQUE: (singing) Closing time, turn all of the lights up over every boy and every girl.

(Amy and Gregory are dancing; she is talking while he actually laughs. Continue pan. Jane is watching the band play; Stacy is dancing with a goth (and looking a little bemused). Jesse and Erik are talking; Erik finally seems happy.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer. Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here...

(Zoom out of McGrundy's door, past where Trent is still sitting on the curb. He is staring up at the sky, looking introspective.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) I know who I want to take me home, I know who I want to take me home, I know who I want to take me home, take me home...

(Scene fades to the interior of Chez Pierre, but Monique's song continues as a voice-over.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) Closing time, time for you to go back to the places you will be from.

(Quinn and Jamie, both dressed elegantly, are seated at romantic table, complete with candles and flowers. They are staring into each others' eyes and smiling.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) Closing time, this room won't be open 'til your brothers or your sisters come.

(Scene fades to a movie theater. Joey, Sandi, Tiffany, and Jeffy are sitting in a row, watching a romantic comedy. The girls are sipping diet drinks and seem content; the boys look miserable.)

(Finally, fade to Daria walking home alone. She is looking up at the sky.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits... I hope you have found a friend.

(Close-up on Daria's face as she stops walking.)

MONIQUE: (singing VO) Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

(The singing and music stop, leaving complete silence.)

(Pan past Daria's profile to the sky. It is nearly completely black, spangled with a million tiny stars. Cut back to close-up of Daria.)

DARIA: (quietly) Fate? Is it real? (There is the very slightest hint of tears in her eyes.) Aunt Sarah, I'm scared.

(Cut back to the sky. It is still for a moment, then a meteor slices across the darkness, leaving a trail of light behind. Cut back to Daria as a single tear leaves a matching trail on her cheek. Very slowly, she smiles.)

(Pull back as Daria begins walking again. Suddenly fade in the original version of "Closing Time" as pull back continues.)

...I know who I want to take me home...
...I know who I want to take me home...
...I know who I want to take me home...
...Take me home...

(Slowly fade to black.)


THE END



Thanks to Elizabeth for the inspiration for the Smiley dream sequence. (Chapter Three)

Thanks to Kristin for the adaption of her little Skyway adventure. The Push incident is adapted from my own Disney World experiences. And yes, Push is quite real. I've seen him myself. (Chapter Four)

Thanks to C.E. Forman in part for the reason for Amy's appearance. (Chapter Seven)