"The Rain Falls Mainly on Jane Lane"
by Invisigoth Gypsy (IvG@garnetsigma.com)
http://www.garnetsigma.com
6-12-98

Summary: Jane disappears after a fight with her mother, causing panic throughout Lawndale and prompting Daria and Trent to recruit everyone, even the Fashion Club, in a city-wide search.






(Opening credits. Title scene: Daria in "The Rain Falls Mainly on Jane Lane")

(Scene opens in Jane's room. She and Daria are sitting on the bed watching TV while Trent's guitar can be heard wailing in the background.)

TV ANNOUNCER: Is the Pillsbury Doughboy really just a marketing ploy to get America's youth addicted to slice-n-bake cookies? Tomorrow on Sick Sad World!

(Jane cuts the TV off and turns to Daria.)

JANE: Hey, did I show you the new picture I'm working on? (Daria shakes her head.) Hang on... you *have* to see this.

(She gets up and rummages through some papers on her desk, then hands one to Daria. From Daria's POV, we see that it is an old stone bridge over a road.)

JANE: I found that place when I was running, out past the west end of town. It's *amazing*. I just *had* to draw it.

DARIA: (without much enthusiasm) It's a really good drawing. But... why a bridge?

JANE: (gives Daria a *look*) An artist you are not, my friend... (shrugs) Oh well, nobody's perfect. You want something to eat? I'm starved.

DARIA: Sure. Anything to spare me dinner with the Morgendorffer tribe. You know, Jane, you are so lucky.

JANE: Why do you say that? Other than because of my rare beauty and phenominal artistic talents, of course.

DARIA: Because you and Trent can do just about anything you want, and your parents don't give two dingoes' kidneys.

(She stands up.)

JANE: (without conviction) Yeah. Lucky. (She seems strangely subdued, then returns to her usual self.) I think I'll make pancakes. (looks crafty) Say, why don't you go ask Trent if he's hungry?

DARIA: (looks uncomfortable) Umm... he sounds kind of busy. (There is an especially loud guitar chord.) Maybe I'd better not...

JANE: (walks to the door) Oh, he won't care. There's nothing he likes more than my pancakes. (She pauses.) Except for sleeping. And his music. And you. (She smirks.)

DARIA: (suppressing a sigh) If I go get him, will you quit abusing me?

JANE: It's a deal. (Cut to shot behind Jane. She has her fingers crossed behind her back.)

(Cut to the Lane basement. Trent is playing his guitar and singing a song called "Awkward." Cut to the steps. Daria enters the room slowly and stops halfway down the stairs. Seeing that Trent is lost in his song, she stares at him openly. Cut back to Trent.)

TRENT: (singing) It's like posin' for a picture when there ain't no film... like tryin' to bake without no heat in the kiln...

(Cut to close-up of Daria's face. She has her most deadpan expression.)

DARIA: (thought VO) Nope. Couldn't tell he was related to Jane.

(Cut back to Trent.)

TRENT: (singing and really getting into it) Lovin' you's gonna be the death of me... I look at you but you just don't see... wakin' up screamin' in the middle of the night... I throw out the lure and you just won't bite... it's aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwkward, so damn aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwkward... I love you, I don't have you, but I can't stop thinkin' of you and it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwkward...

(Suddenly he glances up and sees Daria watching him. He stops singing and playing and looks acutely embarrassed.)

DARIA: Uhh... sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt you.

TRENT: It's okay... did you want something?

DARIA: (thought VO) If you only knew. (out loud) Jane's fixing pancakes, and--

TRENT: I'm there!

(He takes off his guitar and joins Daria on the steps. They start walking up together.)

TRENT: What did you think of the song?

DARIA: It sounds good. That last part's new, isn't it? I don't remember it.

TRENT: Yeah. I just finished it a couple days ago. You like it?

DARIA: Not as inspired as the film part, but it's nice.

(They laugh.)

DARIA: I'm glad to see that I had at least some small part in the creation of one of the great Trent Lane's songs.

(Cut to close-up on Trent.)

TRENT: Oh, you've inspired more songs than that one. (He gets an "oops" look on his face.) I mean, I get inspiration from just about anything. (The "oops" look gets worse.) Well, not just *anything*, but anything that's really important to me. I mean--

(He is saved by sudden loud singing from the kitchen. He looks grateful for the interruption.)

JANE: (offscreen voice over, singing) The ol' gray mare, she ain't what she used ta be, ain't what she used ta be, ain't what she used ta be...

(Cut to show both Daria and Trent.)

DARIA: Sounds like Jane's having fun with those pancakes.

(They enter the kitchen. Jane is wearing an apron and spooning batter onto a griddle.)

JANE: How many you guys want?

DARIA: Two.

TRENT: How much batter do you have?

(Daria starts laughing.)

JANE: Daria, he's serious.

(Daria stops laughing and looks at Trent in surprise.)

JANE: Oh well, I'll cook it all. (over her shoulder) Oh, get whatever you want on top out of the fridge.

(Trent opens the refrigerator door.)

TRENT: What do you want, Janey?

JANE: Some of that strawberry stuff if we have it.

TRENT: 'Kay. What about you, Daria?

JANE: (mischievously) I think Daria wants chocolate syrup. Lots and lots of chocolate syrup.

(Daria shoots Jane a death-ray look.)

DARIA: Just butter, please.

TRENT: No syrup at all? Aww, Daria, you're no fun.

(Jane starts snickering.)

DARIA: Okay, fine, get me some syrup. *Regular* syrup.

(While Trent is occupied with the refrigerator, Daria whaps Jane in the back of the head with a pot holder.)

DARIA: You got any tea, Jane?

JANE: (rubbing the back of her head) In that cabinet.

(Daria gets a box of tea out of the cabinet, then picks up a ceramic teapot completely covered with a mosaic of tiny fake jewels.)

DARIA: This is cool, Jane... did you make it?

JANE: (again subdued) Yeah.

(Trent walks up behind Daria carrying syrup, butter, and a jar of strawberry topping.)

TRENT: Janey made that for Mom last Mother's Day.

DARIA: Cool. (She gets some hot water out of a dispenser by the sink.) Your mom must have been impressed.

(Jane glares at Trent and doesn't answer. Cut to Daria sitting on one side of the table with two pancakes, a little syrup and butter, and a cup of tea. Cut to Jane on the end of the table with two pancakes, strawberry topping, and a glass of milk. Cut to Trent across from Daria with a stack of at least five pancakes soaked in syrup. Cut to show all three eating.)

JANE: (smirking at Daria) Think you got enough *syrup* there, Trent?

TRENT: (around a mouthful of pancakes) What is this thing with you and syrup, Janey?

JANE: I like syrup. So does Daria. Don't you, Daria?

DARIA: I... well...

TRENT: (getting a little spacey on the sugar) Yeah. Syrup is cool. I should write a song about syrup. Lots and lots of syrup. What do you think about syrup, Daria?

DARIA: Umm... it's very... sweet. (Jane snickers.) I mean... uhh... sticky. I mean--dammit, shut up, Jane.

(Trent looks blankly at Jane.)

TRENT: Hunh?

JANE: Never mind. (leaning over and whispering to Daria) Watch this. (out loud) Hey, Trent, betcha can't drink the rest of the syrup straight out of the bottle.

TRENT: Oh yeah?

JANE: Yeah. Loser has to clean up.

TRENT: You're on!

JANE: Ha. You don't stand a chance, suckah.

TRENT: Daria, you're on my side, aren't you?

JANE: (wryly) Of course.

DARIA: (glares at Jane, then turns back to Trent) Yeah. I guess.

TRENT: Okay, here goes...

(He picks up the bottle of syrup and starts drinking. He somehow manages to finish off the bottle. He sets it down with a bang.)

TRENT: Ha... I won... Janey...

(He looks strangely hyper, yet at the same time half-asleep.)

JANE: (whispering to Daria) Too much sugar makes him really weird. He gets really spacey mentally, but so sleepy he can barely move. (out loud) Guess I'd better start on the dishes.

TRENT: Okay...

(He gets up and half-bounces, half-staggers out of the room.)

DARIA: I'll help.

JANE: No, you go in there and keep an eye on Trent. Who knows what the sugar will do before it wears off. (slyly) For all I know, it may even make a nice aphrodisiac...

DARIA: (glares) Funny. You and the dishes deserve each other.

(She walks into the other room where Trent is lying on the sofa with his head tilting over the back, his eyes shut, and his mouth half open.)

DARIA: Trent?

(Switch to Trent's POV. The screen is dark, then his eyes open to reveal an upside-down Daria.)

DARIA: Are you okay?

(Cut back to her POV.)

TRENT: Hey... Daria... yeah babe... I'm fine... ya know...

DARIA: (thought VO) Babe? Maybe Jane was right after all...

(She goes and sits down beside him on the sofa. He sits up straight and smiles at her crookedly.)

DARIA: (thought VO) It must be love when someone acts like a complete idiot and I *like* it.

(Trent puts one arm on the back of the sofa behind her.)

TRENT: Daria... you know something?

DARIA: What, Trent?

(He leans close to her and puts his other arm around her.)

TRENT: (softly) You're really... really... (His voice trails off.)

DARIA: (looks a little anxious) Really what?

(Suddenly there are footsteps from the other end of the room. Cut to a POV near the floor, looking at Daria and Trent on the sofa. They look towards the camera, Daria looking hunted and Trent looking spacey. Two legs and bare feet with painted nails appear in the shot, the way Babs's mother's feet always do on Tiny Toons.)

DARIA: Uh... hi, Mrs. Lane.

MRS. LANE: (offscreen VO) Where's Jane?

DARIA: She's in the kitchen.

(The feet disappear. Cut to normal shot of the sofa. Daria is still looking in the direction Mrs. Lane went.)

DARIA: Trent? How come she didn't say anything about... (She trails off and looks at Trent. He's leaning against her with his head on her shoulder, asleep. deadpan) Never mind. (Suddenly yelling is heard from within the kitchen and Daria looks at the door. Switch to Daria's POV of the door.)

MRS. LANE: (offscreen VO) I *told* you to go *out* tonight!

JANE: (offscreen VO, snapping) I didn't feel like it.

MRS. LANE: (VO) Don't you think I get tired of having you and Trent around *all the time*? It's bad enough that you never do anything, but *he* can drive. Instead he spends all his time either sleeping or playing that damn guitar of his--

JANE: (VO, yelling) Leave Trent out of this! Just because you're mad at me doesn't mean--

MRS. LANE: (VO) Don't tell me what to do, young lady!

(Suddenly Jane bursts out of the kitchen looking furious and near tears. She opens the front door and goes out, slamming it. The kitchen door slams shut and loud music eminates from within. Cut to Daria, looking worried. She shakes Trent.)

DARIA: Trent! Trent, wake up!

TRENT: Hunnnnnnh... five more minutes...

DARIA: Come *on*. (She stands up and starts dragging him off the sofa. Cut to inside Trent's room as Daria manages to get him up on the bed.) Trent... wake up, I need to talk to you.

TRENT: Nnnnuuuuuuhhhhhhh...

DARIA: (sighs) So much for that. (She turns and starts to leave, then stops and looks at Trent, sleeping peacefully. With a small smile, she walks back over to him and covers him up, stroking back his hair. She leaves the room, stopping to turn off the light and shut the door. Cut back to Trent after she's gone. He turns a little in his sleep.)

TRENT: (in his sleep) Daria... don't leave... Daria...

(Commercial break scene: Trent chugging his bottle of syrup.)

(Cut to the Morgendorffer house at about 9:30 pm. Daria is curled up on the sofa in a bathrobe reading the paper. Jake is also reading the paper, while Helen is typing furiously on a laptop computer. Quinn comes wandering into the room.)

QUINN: (disgustedly) Daria, why aren't you still *dressed*?

DARIA: (looks at Quinn over the top of the paper) I don't happen to like wearing my clothes to bed.

QUINN: Bed? At 9:30? (She starts laughing.) You're acutally pretty funny sometimes, Daria. (The doorbell rings.) Ooh! There's Jeffy. Or is it Joey tonight? No, wait, it's Jacky.

DARIA: Uh, isn't his name Jamie?

QUINN: Whatever. Bye!

(She runs out. Daria shakes her head and returns to her paper, but is interrupted again when the phone rings. No one makes a move to answer it. Daria looks from one parent to another.)

DARIA: (deadpan) Let's not kill each other in the vicious race to answer the phone.

(No response. Daria signs and goes to answer it herself.)

DARIA: Hello. You have reached the Lawndale Funny Farm. Please select a number. If you need to talk to a live person or reasonable facsimilie thereof, please hold on, and one of the nice men in white coats will take your call in a moment.

TRENT: (phone VO, confused) Umm... Daria?

(Daria gives the camera a deadpan look.)

DARIA: Umm yeah.

(Split screen showing Daria and Trent. He looks a little worried.)

DARIA: Sorry about that. I thought you were Jane.

TRENT: (surprised) Then she's *not* over there?

DARIA: No. Why?

TRENT: She's not here! When I... um... woke up, I asked Mom where she was and she didn't know. I thought maybe she was spending the night with you.

DARIA: (looks worried) Uh oh. Trent, I think I should... um... come over there... if you don't... care or anything.

TRENT: Did something happen to Janey?

DARIA: I'll explain when I get there. But... can you get me in without your mom knowing?

TRENT: She locked herself in her room an hour ago. She wouldn't know it if the house started burning down. (He pauses a minute.) Daria... hurry, okay?

(Cut to normal screen.)

DARIA: I'm on my way.

(She hangs up the phone and sticks her head into the living room.)

DARIA: Mom-Dad-I'm-going-over-to-Jane's-for-the-night-bye.

(She hurries out the door before they can reply. Halfway to the street she stops and looks down at her bathrobe, then back up at the camera, deadpan. She takes off the bathrobe; she is wearing shorts and a t-shirt underneath.)

DARIA: (under her breath) Good thing I don't sleep naked. (She starts down the street.)

(Cut to outside of the Lane house. As Daria is walking up to the door, it opens to reveal a worried-looking Trent. He motions her inside.)

TRENT: (quietly) We'd better go to my room in case Mom comes downstairs for something.

DARIA: (thought VO) No complaints here.

(He turns and walks off, and she follows.)

(Cut to the inside of Trent's room. He is sitting on the bed, while Daria is sitting on a desk chair.)

DARIA: ...so Jane just *left*. I tried to wake you up and tell you, but you were kind of... out of it.

TRENT: Yeah. Too much sugar. Gives you interesting dreams though. (He suddenly looks embarrassed.)

DARIA: Do you have any idea where she might have gone?

TRENT: Not other than your house. She might have gone to Jesse's but I doubt it. It's kind of far. I still should call though.

(He reaches for the phone, then stops and looks at Daria.)

TRENT: Should I ask him to come over if she's not there?

DARIA: (quickly) No. I mean, there's... no need to worry him.

TRENT: (looks relieved) Okay. (He dials a number.) Hey, Jess? It's Trent. (pause) Yeah. Say, is Janey over there? No? Okay. (pause) No, nothing's wrong. She must've gone to Daria's. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna call there next. (pause; Trent blushes) No, I don't, for your information. I'll look it up. Yeah. *Yes,* Jesse. (pause again) Well, it's kinda late. I'll just call you tomorrow, okay? Yeah. Okay. Bye. (He hangs up the phone and looks at Daria worriedly.) She's not there.

DARIA: Oh, wonderful. (She stands up and starts pacing.) Where could she *be*?

TRENT: I don't know. (He stands up and puts a hand on Daria's arm.) Do you want to go look for her?

DARIA: (looks at him) Yeah. I'm really worried.

TRENT: (grimly) So I am.

(Cut to Trent and Daria in the front seat of the car. Trent is slowly driving up and down the streets.)

DARIA: Hey, go by the school. Maybe she's there torching it or something.

(She tries to laugh, but instead starts crying. She looks out the window quickly, hoping Trent won't notice. He pulls up into the loop in front of the school.)

DARIA: (quickly, her voice quavering) I'll get out and look around.

(She gets out of the car quickly and runs off. This time Trent notices something is wrong and looks after her worriedly. Finally he puts the car in park and gets out. Cut to Daria crying and standing on the grass where she and Jane usually sit outside. Looking angry at herself, she takes off her glasses and starts wiping at her eyes. Trent comes up behind her.)

TRENT: Daria?

DARIA: (not turning around) I'll be there in a minute.

TRENT: Daria.

(Finally she turns around.)

DARIA: Trent--

(Suddenly he moves forward and hugs her fiercely. She lays her head on his shoulder and continues to cry.)

DARIA: I don't know where she could be! What if she got hurt and she's in the hospital, or what if someone kidnapped her, or... (Her voice trails off.)

TRENT: Let's go home. I don't think we're going to do any good tonight.

DARIA: But--

(Trent tilts her head back and looks in her eyes.)

TRENT: Daria, tomorrow morning, we'll get everyone we can to go look for her. We'll find her. I promise.

(He lets her go and starts back to the car. Pushing her glasses on, Daria follows him.)

(Commercial break scene: Quinn complaing about Daria's bath robe.)

(Cut to Trent and Daria in the car again.)

TRENT: Do you want me to take you home?

DARIA: I told my parents I was staying all night with Jane, so I'll just sleep in her room. (sighs) I don't know how I'm going to explain to them that she's missing.

TRENT: Yeah. Or to Jesse. We'll have to call the police.

DARIA: Yeah. (She looks hard out the window.) We'll find her. We have to.

(Cut to Daria in Jane's room. She turns off the light, then gets into the bed. She stares at the ceiling, then jumps when the house creaks. Finally she gets up and turns on the light again. Looking at Jane's pictures and art supplies, she looks near tears again. Suddenly she gets up and leaves the room. She goes down the stairs into the dark living room quietly, then stops when she sees a light in the kitchen.)

DARIA: Damn. (She turns to go back upstairs, then stops when the light goes out and Trent emerges from the kitchen.)

TRENT: (whispering) Daria? That you?

DARIA: (whispering) Yeah. (Trent comes over to her.) I can't sleep in there. It's freaking me out.

TRENT: I can't sleep either. (He looks awkward.) Umm... want to talk or something?

DARIA: (thought VO) Want to get married or something? (out loud) Yeah.

(Cut to them in Trent's room. He sits down on the bed, then moves over to make room for Daria. She sits down nervously, then leans against the headboard. They are quiet for a long time. Finally Trent leans over and picks up his acoustic guitar. He starts strumming it softly.)

TRENT: (singing softly) Syrup... sweet and sticky syrup... kinda tricky syrup...

(Daria laughs in spite of herself.)

TRENT: (singing) Syrup on pancakes... waffles too... I love syrup and so do you... all I'll need to make you mine-a is pancakes and some Aunt Jemimah... syrup...

DARIA: (still laughing) Play *that* at your next gig and see what happens.

TRENT: (smiling at her) It's nice to see you smiling again.

DARIA: Again? You mean I've smiled once today already? Damn. I'm losing my touch.

(Trent laughs.)

TRENT: You'd better watch who you flash that smile at. Otherwise, you're gonna have so many guys following you around, you'll forget all about *me*.

DARIA: (gently) I wouldn't forget about you Trent. (deadpan again) And I doubt I'll have to deal with that situation any time soon.

TRENT: Probably sooner than you think. One day, it's going to hit somebody what a great girl you are, and after that, there's no turning back. You'll have your own fan club before you know it.

(Daria is quiet a moment, pondering this, then she sighs.)

DARIA: If I don't get some sleep, I won't do anyone any good tomorrow.

TRENT: Want me to sing to you?

DARIA: (looks sideways at him) I don't think "Icebox Woman" is going to send me off to Dreamland.

TRENT: (laughs) How about Green Day?

DARIA: As long as it's not country or Hanson, I'm happy.

(Trent strums the guitar a little, then starts singing "Time of Your Life.")

TRENT: (singing) Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road... time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go... so make the best of this test and don't ask why... it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time... it's something unpredictable, but in the end, it's right... I hope you had the time of your life.

(As he's singing the last line, Daria looks up at him and smiles, then closes her eyes. Just after she looks away, he looks down at her tenderly before going on to the next verse.)

TRENT: (singing) So take the photographs and still frames in your mind... hang it on a shelf of good health and good time... tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial... for what it's worth, it was worth all the while... it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right... I hope you had the time of your life.

(Finishing, he looks down and sees that Daria has gone to sleep with her head on his shoulder. He smiles again and lays his guitar on the floor, then gently takes off Daria's glasses and puts them on the table beside him. He then strokes back her hair before laying his cheek against it and going to sleep.)

(Daylight fades into the scene, revealing Daria and Trent in basically the same place as before, only a little bit closer. The phone rings, and Daria blinks sleepily. Suddenly she realizes that she's leaning on Trent, and she sits up quickly, embarrassed. The phone keeps ringing as she looks around for her glasses, then she gives up and answers it.)

DARIA: Hello?

(Trent realizes that she's moved and halfway wakes up.)

TRENT: (groggily) Daria?

HELEN: (phone VO) Daria?

DARIA: Hold on, Mom. What, Trent?

(Trent reaches for her sleepily, then suddenly realizes what he's doing and sits up quickly, looking embarrassed.)

TRENT: Who's that?

HELEN: Daria? Whose voice is that? Is there a *boy* over there?

TRENT: God, what time is it?

DARIA: Mom, it's Jane's brother.

HELEN: Oh. Well, I've got some *very* exciting news, Daria! I managed to get us a family appointment to see Dr. Scratchansniff, that new counselor, and you *know* how hard it is to get in to see someone as good as him. Now, the only time slot I could get is in half an hour, so you need to come on home and--

DARIA: Mom, I can't.

HELEN: Now, Daria, you--

DARIA: Mom, Jane's missing.

HELEN: Well go find her quickly and then--

DARIA: No, you don't understand! She's--Never mind. Would you just put Quinn on the phone please?

HELEN: (surprised) All right... Just a minute...

TRENT: What the hell is going on?

(Daria looks at him.)

DARIA: It's my mom. She scheduled an appointment for us with some dumb shrink whose name sounds like a cartoon character or something. She'll just have to get over it. Hey, have you seen my glasses?

(Trent hands them to her, looking a little ashamed. Daria looks surprised.)

DARIA: Thanks.

QUINN: (sleepy phone VO) Hello?

(Cut to split screen with Daria and sleepy Quinn.)

DARIA: Quinn, it's me.

QUINN: (whining) Daaaaaaaaria, do you know what *time* it is? It's, like, *early*.

DARIA: Quinn... I hate to be doing this--you don't know *how* much I hate to be doing this--but... but I need your help.

QUINN: *My* help? (She narrows her eyes.) Is this some kind of trick?

DARIA: No... just listen, okay? I need you to round up the Fashion Club and every other person you can bring, and meet me at the school, okay?

QUINN: (suspiciously) What's going on, Daria?

DARIA: Look, would you rather go to counseling with "the family"?

QUINN: (meekly) Okay. We'll be there.

(Cut to Daria only. She hangs up the phone and turns to Trent.)

DARIA: Quinn's on her way.

TRENT: (sighs) I guess I should should call Jesse. And the police. (He looks at her.) I don't want them involved, Daria. It makes it seem like... like it's worse if we have the *police* after her. I--(He breaks off and puts his head in his hands.)

DARIA: Don't call them yet. Just call Jesse, then I'll see who else we can get to help us look. If we don't find her today, *then* we can report her missing.

(Trent sighs and sits up again. Daria hands him the phone and he dials.)

TRENT: Jess, it's me again. Yeah. Look, Janey never came home, and--(pause) I'm *sure* she's all right, but me and Daria are going over to the high school to get some people to go look for her. (pause) Yeah. Okay. We'll be there in a minute. (He hangs up. to Daria) He's coming.

DARIA: I have one more call to make, then we'd better go. (She looks at him seriously.) I think you need to go tell your mother.

TRENT: Yeah. I guess. (He gets up.) I'll meet you at the car.

(After he leaves, Daria picks up the phone and dials. Cut to split screen showing her and a sleeping Brittany. Brittany's phone rings, and she picks it up without opening her eyes.)

BRITTANY: (sleepily) Kevvie?

DARIA: Uhh no. It's Daria.

(Brittany opens one eye.)

BRITTANY: Daria? Wha--?

DARIA: (forcefully) Brittany, I have a mission for you.

BRITTANY: A mission? Hunh?

DARIA: Jane Lane has disappeared.

BRITTANY: Who? Ohh. That girl.

DARIA: Yeah. That girl. She's missing and it's up to you to help us find her!

BRITTANY: (sits up, blinking) Me?

DARIA: Yes! Only you can help us, Brittany! (She pauses and looks resigned. thought VO) The things I'll go through for friendship. (out loud) We need someone who can appeal to the population, to convince them that Jane *must* be found! And you are the *only* girl to do it.

BRITTANY: (looks dreamy) Really?

DARIA: Yes! Who better to rally support than one of Lawndale's *best* cheerleaders? And I *know* you feel for Jane and want her to be found as quickly as possible because there is no one in all of Lawndale as considerate and... uh... *nice* as you!

BRITTANY: (glowing) Yes! I'll help you! (looks blank) Umm... what am I supposed to do?

DARIA: Get Kevin and any one else you can find quickly, then go to Lawndale High. I'll meet you there.

BRITTANY: Okay! See ya! (She hangs up the phone, still glowing.)

(Cut to Daria only. She hangs up the phone and sighs.)

DARIA: Let's hope I *never* have to go through *that* again.

(Commercial break scene: Daria and Brittany on the phone, with Brittany glowing and Daria looking put-out.)

(Cut to Trent outside Mrs. Lane's bedroom door. He knocks.)

MRS. LANE: (offscreen VO) What.

(Cut to her POV. The door opens slowly and Trent looks in.)

TRENT: Mom? Janey never came home last night.

MRS. LANE: (offscreen VO) She's just sulking. She'll turn up.

TRENT: (looks a little mad) She's *never* been gone this long without telling *somebody* where she was going. Even Daria doesn't know.

MRS. LANE: (offscreen VO) I wish Jane would spend less time with that girl. She's so... depressing.

(Trent glares and slams the door. Cut to shot of him outside her room as Daria comes up to him.)

DARIA: What's wrong?

TRENT: (shortly) Nothing. Come on.

(Cut to them in the car.)

DARIA: I ended up having to suck up to a *cheerleader*, but I think we're going to have lots of people.

TRENT: (sighs) Good. (He glances at Daria, who is looking out the window.) Did you sleep okay?

(He winces with a "God-I'm-stupid" expression and looks away from her quickly. She looks sharply at him, then looks away.)

DARIA: Yeah. Fine. (smirks) I dreamed about pancakes.

(Cut to the Lions' football field. There is a crowd of students standing around: Quinn and her boys, the Fashion Club, Brittany and Kevin, Jodie and Mack, Upchuck, and Andrea. Jesse is off to one side, looking worried. He goes toward Trent and Daria as they approach.)

JESSE: Trent, what do you have planned?

(Trent looks at Daria.)

TRENT: I think you'd better talk to them. They know you.

DARIA: (looks panicked) But... they won't listen to me...

(Trent takes her by both shoulders and looks her in the eyes.)

TRENT: Then *make* them listen. We *have* to find Janey.

(Daria nods and sighs. She turns and steps onto the bleachers, facing the group of students. Everyone quits talking and looks at her. Cut to shot of Daria only, looking nervous.)

DARIA: Umm... I guess all of you know that we're here because Jane Lane has disappeared. She left her house yesterday afternoon and no one has seen her since, so I wanted to get all of you to help us look for her.

(Cut to slow pan of the crowd of students as Daria talks.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) I need all of you to split up into groups in cars or on foot and spread out over Lawndale. Check the places where *you* might go if you left home or ran away. Every half hour or so, come back here, so you'll know if she's found.

(As she talks, some of the students have a "why-should-we-do-this" look on their faces. Cut back to Daria, glaring as she notices.)

DARIA: (forcefully) And if you're wondering why you should do this, I'll tell you. Don't do it for the glory.

(Cut to a closeup of Brittany imagining herself being presented an award by Mrs. Li.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Don't do it for the reward.

(Cut to closeup of Kevin imagining being handed a check by the mayor of Lawndale.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Don't do it for gratitude.

(Cut to closeup of Upchuck imagining a grateful Jane giving him a kiss.)

UPCHUCK: Rrrrrrroooooooooooowwwwwwllllllllllll.

(Cut back to Daria.)

DARIA: Do it just because you should. Jane is *gone* and even if you didn't know or like her very well, it's your duty to help find her.

(Cut to shot of Trent and Jesse, looking sad.)

DARIA: (offscreen VO) Jane is somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, and somebody's girlfriend.

(Cut back to closeup of Daria.)

DARIA: Jane is also my best friend. (She looks like she might start crying again.) We *have* to find her.

(Cut to a montage of various shots showing the groups of students searching for Jane. The Fashion Club is driving up and down the streets in a convertible. The three J's are walking through the park, yelling. Brittany and Kevin are walking up and down the mall, while Mack and Jodie are stopping at houses and asking if anyone has seen Jane. Andrea is tramping morosely through the woods, while Upchuck follows her, growling.)

(Cut to Trent, Daria, and Jesse in the front seat of the car as they drive along the outskirts of Lawndale.)

JESSE: (grimly) No sign of her. (He looks at the dark clouds gathering overhead.) And it looks like rain.

TRENT: Guess we'd better check back at the school anyway. It's been a while.

DARIA: Can't we just go a little farther?

(There is a loud crash of thunder.)

DARIA: Never mind.

(Trent turns the car around and they drive back towards the school.)

DARIA: (trying to be hopeful) Maybe someone else found her...

(Trent pulls up at the school. Gathered under the awning is the entire group of students, looking miserable. Cut back to Daria. She looks desolate. The three get out of the car and run through the rain to shelter.)

TIFFANY: Did you, like, find her?

(Everyone turns and glares at her.)

TIFFANY: (looks lost) What?

(Brittany comes over to Daria.)

BRITTANY: Daria, I'm so, so sorry!

(Suddenly she bursts into tears and throws her arms around Daria, who pats her on the back without much enthusiasm. She hands the sniffling Brittany over to Kevin, then turns to look at everyone.)

DARIA: There's no point in looking anymore; we'll never find her in the rain. (She sighs.) Thanks for trying, though.

(Everyone starts to leave. Kevin leads the sobbing Brittany off, followed by Jodie and Mack. They stop and turn to Daria.)

JODIE: I hope you find her.

(She gives Daria a hug.)

MACK: Yeah, good luck.

(The others leave slowly. Last in line is Quinn, who stops and looks at Daria.)

QUINN: I'll tell Mom that you'll be home later, okay? (She tries to smile.)

DARIA: (touched by her sister's perception [for once]) Okay. Thanks, Quinn.

(Quinn gives her a watery smile, then follows the rest of the Fashion Club. Daria sighs and turns to Trent and Jesse.)

DARIA: I guess we should go to the police station.

(Trent looks down.)

TRENT: Yeah. I guess.

JESSE: Daria, thanks. I mean, we really appreciate all you did, like getting all these people to try to find Jane.

DARIA: You're welcome. But I don't feel like I've done *anything*. I should have stopped her when she ran off yesterday.

TRENT: (fiercely) It's not your fault, Daria. You didn't know that she wouldn't come back, and beating yourself up about it isn't going to help her--*or* you. (more gently) All that matters now is that *somebody* finds her. What happened yesterday is just water under the bridge.

(Cut to Daria. She looks skeptical, then suddenly inspired.)

DARIA: Oh my God! The bridge! Come on!

(She starts running through the rain to the car. Trent and Jesse look at each other, shrug, and follow her. Cut to inside the car as they get in. Daria is already there.)

JESSE: What's this about a bridge?

DARIA: (excitedly) I just remembered! She said she was working on a picture of this old bridge out past the west side of town. She just *might* have gone there.

(Trent stares at her.)

TRENT: Daria, you're amazing. Absolutely amazing. (He turns away and cranks the car.)

(Cut to a shot of the bridge, barely visible in the rain. Zoom in on an area underneath. As the shot clears, we see Jane asleep under the bridge. She awakes at an especially loud clap of thunder and sits up with a jolt. She looks around wildly, then realizes where she is. Holding back tears, she draws up her knees and rests her chin on them, hugging her legs. Suddenly headlights appear through the rain. Jane lifts her head expectantly, but they shoot past her, and the car showers her with rain water. She sighs and lowers her head again. More headlights appear, and these slow to a stop. Jane looks up as Daria, Trent, and Jesse become visible through the rain.)

DARIA: (calling) Jane? Jane!

JANE: (jumps to her feet) Daria! Trent! Jesse!

(She runs over to Daria and hugs her fiercely. Both girls suddenly let go, looking a little awkward. Jane then smiles.)

JANE: I *knew* you guys would find me. I really didn't mean to stay all night, I promise, but I fell asleep, and... (She grins again.) I knew you'd find me.

TRENT: It was Daria who figured out where you'd be.

DARIA: (looks a little embarrassed) Well... I just remembered you showing me that picture, and--

(Jane puts a hand on Daria's shoulder and she stops talking.)

JANE: (smiling gently) Thanks.

(Commercial break scene: Daria, Trent, and Jesse in the car.)

(Cut to later that night. Daria is in her bedroom talking to Jane on the phone. Split screen showing both girls.)

DARIA: So what did your mother say?

JANE: (flatly) Nothing. (She sighs.) I guess I should have told you earlier, but we haven't been getting along too well lately. Although you've probably figured that out by now. (She's quiet a minute, then continues.) I felt like I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran all the way out to the bridge. I fell asleep, and it was dark when I woke up, so I stayed there all night.

DARIA: (gently) We were really worried about you.

JANE: Thanks. I appreciate that. (She laughs.) I can't believe that you actually convinced the Fashion Club to go out and look for me!

DARIA: It *is* pretty unbelievable. If there just wasn't that stupid assembly tomorrow. (She rolls her eyes.)

JANE: Ooooh, lucky you, getting to address the whole school.

DARIA: Hmph. Yeah. (She pauses.) Do you think Trent would come? And Jesse, of course.

JANE: (smirks) I dunno.

DARIA: (quickly) I mean, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have thought of the bridge. They *ought* to be there.

JANE: Well, I'll try to convince Trent. You know how he is though.

DARIA: (sighs) Yeah. I know.

(Cut to Trent's room. He's lying on the bed--awake for once--staring at the ceiling, with loud music playing. Jane pounds on the door, then sticks her head in. Trent turns down the music and sits up.)

TRENT: Hey Janey.

JANE: Yo. (She walks over to him.) I have a very big favor to ask of you.

TRENT: (looks suspicious) What?

JANE: The school's having this assembly about me tomorrow and--

TRENT: No way. I'm *not* going.

JANE: Come *on*, you're my *brother*. Plus you helped find me.

TRENT: Forget it, Janey.

(He lays back on the bed and shuts his eyes. Jane sighs, then turns away to hide her smirk. She walks toward the door then stops.)

JANE: (over her shoulder, casually) It's too bad, really. Daria's gonna be disappointed.

(Trent opens one eye.)

TRENT: She will?

JANE: (half turns) Yeah. I just got off the phone with her. (thought VO) Forgive me for this, Daria, but you'll thank me tomorrow. (out loud) She told me to ask you to come. I forgot to mention that she has to give a speech. I thought she could probably use the moral support, but I'll have to tell her you didn't want to come.

(She leaves the room, still smiling. Outside the door, she pauses.)

JANE: Five... four... three... two... one...

(Trent's door opens and he sticks his head out.)

TRENT: Say, Janey... what time is that assembly, anyway? Just out of curiousity.

(Cut to Lawndale High the next day. Jane and Daria, both actually dressed up, are seated on the stage in the auditorium, which is filled with students. Daria leans over to Jane.)

DARIA: He's not coming. If he didn't tell you he's coming, he must not be.

JANE: Listen, Daria, I know my brother. He's coming, all right.

(Sure enough, Trent and Jesse burst through the auditorium doors in the back, just as Mrs. Li walks out onto the stage and up to the microphone.)

MRS. LI: I've called this assembly today to honor one of Lawndale High's most... umm... one of Lawndale High's students. When another Lawndale student, Miss Jane Lane, went missing Sunday morning, this umm... exceptional girl was the one who found Miss Lane and recovered her to us. Please let's have a round of applause for Miss Daria Morgendorffer.

(Everyone claps as Daria steps forward. With a small smile, she leans over and whispers something to Mrs. Li, who turns back to the microphone.)

MRS. LI: Ah. Miss Morgendorffer asks that the two gentlemen at the back of the auditorium come forward please.

(Looking nervous, Trent and Jesse start down the aisle. They are both wearing fairly decent looking clothes [!] and Jesse has his hair pulled back. Cut to shot of Mrs. Li. She narrows her eyes when she sees who the "young gentlemen" are, then steps away from the podium. Daria moves over to the microphone and waits until Trent and Jesse join her on the stage, then she begins to speak, a little nervously.)

DARIA: Well... I can't really claim that I did very much.

(Pan over the audience as she speaks. We see Helen and Jake, Quinn, and the other students who helped in the search.)

DARIA: When I realized that Jane was missing, the only thing I could think of to do was look for her. It was just a fluke that I found her; it could have been any one of the people who searched. I want to thank all of Lawndale's students who came to help us look for Jane, and especially to her... friend Jesse and her brother Trent. I'm sure she's very grateful to all of you for caring so much. (She pauses.) The only other thing I have to say is how glad I am to have Jane back. She's my best friend, and I don't know what I'd do without her.

(Everyone starts clapping for Daria. She looks rather surprised, then steps away from the microphone. Mrs. Li steps up.)

MRS. LI: Thank you, Daria. Students, we will be dismissed by classes. Seniors may lea--students? Students!

(Everyone deserts the auditorium before she can finish.)

(Cut to the Morgendorffer dinner table that afternoon. Daria is back to her usual deadpan attitude.)

HELEN: Daria, that was a very nice speech you gave this afternoon, especially what you said about Jane being your best friend. Wasn't it, Jake?

JAKE: (looks up) Uhh... yeah, the cassarole was great tonight!

DARIA: (completely emotionless) Thanks.

QUINN: Still, couldn't you have worn something a little... cuter? I mean, I'm glad you didn't wear *that*--(She gestures at Daria's usual outfit.)--but the Fashion Club kept asking me why you didn't look cute.

DARIA: Sorry to break your heart, Quinn.

(The doorbell rings.)

QUINN: Oooh. That must be... uh...

DARIA: (prompting "helpfully") Jamie.

QUINN: He's *early*!

(She gets up and runs to the door.)

QUINN: (offscreen squeal, then VO) *Roses*! (pauses, disappointed) Oh.

(Quinn returns to the table holding a vase with three roses in it and looking dazed.)

QUINN: (faint) D-daria? Here... (She hands Daria the vase. Looking like a zombie she drifts away from the table.)

HELEN: Quinn? You didn't finish your dinner!

QUINN: (faint offscreen VO) I'm not hungry...

(Daria looks down at the roses in surprise and sees that the card has her name on it. She opens it slowly.)

TRENT: (VO) Daria, thanks for giving me back my sister. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have a friend like you. Love, Trent.

HELEN: Why, Daria! Who are those from?

DARIA: The Lanes. To thank me for finding Jane.

HELEN: Well, isn't that nice of them.

DARIA: (gets up and goes to carry the roses to her room) Yeah. It is.

(Close up on Daria as smiles.)

(End credits, with makeovers of all the characters that can fit into the time slot, as "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" [which I could not find the lyrics for] by Aerosmith plays.)






THE END