Daria in "Hostile Makeover" Scene 1 (At Lawndale High School, Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy sit in Mr. O'Neill's English class.) Mr. O'Neill: Romeo and Juliet is one of Shakespeare's timeless tragedies, filled not only with colorful metaphors and descriptive symbolism, but classic romance. Thus, making it a favorite within the literary world. Would anyone care to comment? Quinn? Quinn: Well, I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was really cute and everything, but what was with Juliet? I mean, I know if I had a boyfriend as hot and rich and had a car as cool as Romeo I'd wear an outfit that actually had a waistline and would opt for a hair style that didn't make me look like some truck-stop waitress. (Mr. O'Neill stares out thoughtfully.) Mr. O'Neill: What an excellent thought, Quinn. Are you saying that the modernized version of Romeo and Juliet took some of the classic beauty away from the play, thus leaving it not up to the same level as the original? Quinn: Um...yeah. It was also pretty cool how they found time to write a play about it when they were making the movie and everything. (Mr. O'Neill blinks at Quinn in disbelief. The intercom turns on as the principal, Ms. Li speaks.) Ms. Li: Good afternoon students of Lawndale High. Though I am impressed with the turn out from last Friday's bonfire pep rally, I'm disappointed with the choice in checked out library books for kindling. In order to compensate for the damaged school property, it is my decision to make cutbacks from all extracurricular activities that fail to produce positive results in the students and faculty. Sandi: I hope they start with the Chess Team and the Mathletes. I know I'd be a total loser is I spent all my free time locked in some room. Tiffany: You are so right. This school would be so much better with less people like Quinn's cousin or whatever. Stacy: They should really put some kind of limit on people like that in one school. Quinn: I hope they do something about the foreign language clubs too. I mean, we live in America so why do we need to learn any other language besides American? Ms. Li: The following clubs will need to show their usefulness to me by the end of the week in order to prevent slashed funding: The Dissection Club, The Future Accountants Club, The Lawndale Hacky-Sack Team, and The Fashion Club. That is all. (Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy all gasp and turn to each other.) End Scene 1 * * * Scene 2 (In Lawndale High School, Daria and Jane walk though the hallways talking.) Jane: I knew this whole book burning thing was going to be considered passé. Daria: Do you think Ms. Li is more worried about the school budget or the idea that the Nazi's we're one of the first groups that founded this sort of thing? Jane: Depends. Which do you think will get her more publicity? Anyway, your sister must bitting off her press-on nails at the thought of her makeover party coming to an end. Daria: I'd actually rather see Quinn rip out her hair, but it wouldn't be bouncy if it had multiple bald spots. (They stop at Daria's locker as Daria opens it and deposits a stack of books.) Daria: Since I doubt they can prove the Fashion Club is anything less than practice runway for narcissistic sex-symbols, they'll have to take up a new after school activity that won't feed their inexhaustible egos. (Jane crosses her arms.) Jane: You mean like Cheerleading, Drama Club, and Photography Club? After all, those sort of programs wouldn't amplify their school recognition and self-advertisement. Of course they can always just date any boy who happens to throw themselves at them an hour before school lets out. (Daria stares at Jane in silence, then shuts her locker.) Daria: I guess I should have known that the Devil would just find yet another form to hide and model the latest trends in. Jane: But then you just wouldn't be your normal, perky self Daria. Daria: You're right Jane. I think I'll reinstate my usual vacant grin. (Daria's facial expression doesn't change. Jane punches her lightly in the shoulder.) Jane: There you go! (Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy walk past Daria and Jane.) Sandi: We have to think of something to prove just how important the Fashion Club is to this school or we'll have to start buying clothes from catalogs. All: Eeewwww! Quinn: I know, Sandi. How about we give someone a complete makeover? Tiffany: But we do that already. (Stacy starts to look panicked.) Stacy: Tiffany's right. Nobody appreciates the skill it takes to apply make- up so it looks like you never put any on! I mean, people aren't just born with that kind of talent, it takes years and countless cosmetics to master! (Stacy starts hyper ventilating. Sandi starts shaking Stacy at the shoulders.) Sandi: Get a hold of yourself, Stacy. It's going to be okay or something. (Sandi shifts her eyes toward Quinn.) Sandi: Unlike Quinn, I have a brilliant and original idea that will save our club. (Quinn looks at Sandi with low-key hostility.) Quinn: Please do enlighten us, Sandi. After all, you are the President of the Fashion Club, for some reason or another. Sandi: We'll take a complete loser and transform them from geek to chic. Quinn: Gee, that sounds an awful lot like "Let's give someone a makeover." Sandi: You're just jealous because you didn't think of the details. Tiffany: But it's going to have to be a major change or Ms. Li won't be impressed. Quinn: Nice try Sandi, but where are we going to find someone sooo pathetic and socially challenged to fix up that much? (Sandi points to Daria down the hall.) Sandi: We can use your cousin or whatever. (From down the hall, Daria turns to Jane.) Daria: I don't know what they just said, but it still gave me a cold chill. End Scene 2 * * * Scene 3 (In the Morgendorffer living room, Quinn and Helen sit on the sofas. Daria enters the living room.) Helen: Daria, Quinn and I have something we'd like to discuss with you. Daria: If it's about the changes I can expect as I ascend into womanhood I've learned everything I need to know from watching prime time television. (Quinn makes a disgusted face.) Quinn: Ewww! Helen: Actually, Daria, Quinn needs you help in order to keep the Fashion Club going. Daria: If zippers are too complicated for you at this point in time, may I suggest velcro? Quinn: Well, I came up with this great idea, that Sandi modified in her own special, plagiarizing way, and we decided to do a complete makeover on someone so horribly unpopular... (Helen flashes Quinn an annoyed look.) Quinn: I mean, under appreciated and we thought you'd be the poster girl for this. Daria: Sandi also thought photosynthesis was how you developed film. How can you ask me to entrust my mediocre looks in unskilled hands like that? Helen: Come on, Sweetie, do it for your sister. Daria: Don't you mean cousin? Quinn: Please, Daria? I really need your help! If you don't do this for me, I'll have to start wearing brand name clothes! Daria: Oh, well when you put it that way... Helen: Daria, I'm trying so hard here to be supportive of both my daughters. Quinn's found an after school activity that will help show colleges that she's involved and I have been very good about not pressuring you into joining anything. Can't you do this one thing ? As a favor to me? (Daria shifts her eyes away.) Daria: If it was anything else, I'd consider it, but it clashes with so many of my morals I'd be a hypocrite if I did it. My answer is no. (Helen's expression becomes slightly frustrated.) Helen: All right, Daria, I've played hard ball before and I know just how to get through to people like you. Daria: Are you going to impale me? (Helen looks at Daria with narrowed eyes.) (Later in Daria's room, Daria lies upside down on her bed while talking on the telephone to Jane.) Jane: So what happened after that? Daria: In short, she said if I didn't help Quinn with her extracurricular activity, Mom would "help" me find one. Meaning she'd force me to enroll in dance lessons three times a week until the Fashion club was reinstated. Jane: Which would be? Daria: Minimum: Next September. Jane: So what are you going to do? Daria: Chose between being the pet-project to a group of girls who think of trend magazines as the New Testament or half a year of Hell in tap shoes. Jane: I'm not finding the lesser of two evils here. Daria: Thanks for the help. (Knocking comes from Daria's bedroom door. Daria sits up.) Daria: I have to go. Jane: Later. (Daria hangs up the receiver of the telephone.) Daria: Come in. (Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy enter the bedroom with cloths on hangers, make-up kits, and shoe boxes.) Quinn: Are you ready for you close up? Daria: I was thinking more along the lines of point-blank range. End Scene 3 * * * Scene 4 (In the hallway bathroom of the Morgendorffer home, Daria, Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy are all crowd in. The only view seen is from outside the shut door.) Sandi: Hold still or I'm going to smudge your eye shadow! Daria: I can't help it. These contact lenses burn my eyes. Quinn: You know, Mom got them for you so you wouldn't have to wear those ugly glasses all the time. How come you've never used them before? Daria: Because they burn my eyes. Tiffany: Ankle strap with low heel or no strap with high heel? Stacy: Are you experienced with heels? Daria: I never found the sense in wearing miniature stilts that hurt your feet, so no. Sandi: Don't waste your time. Can't you see she has no arches on her feet to begin with? Go with the slip-ons. Quinn: Here, see if this fits you. Daria: What is that? Quinn: It's the dress you're going to wear to school tomorrow. I know it might seem inappropriate compared to the things you wear... Daria: I don't think it's inappropriate. In fact, I think it will provide the boys with more dollar-stuffing convenience. Tiffany: How can I put on lip-liner if her lips won't stop moving? End Scene 4 * * * Scene 5 (In the Morgendorffer kitchen the next morning. Helen is on her cellular phone while Jake reads the morning paper at the kitchen table.) Helen: I'm telling you Eric, my client will take that settlement when my license is disbarred. Call me back when they have a real offer. (Helen hangs up her telephone and sits at the table, across from Jake. Jake reads the paper in wide-eyed shock.) Jake: Would you listen to this article, Helen? It says girls tend to show differences in behavior after they've lost their, um, virtue. I only pray I'll become horribly oblivious to everything so I'll never notice that sort of thing about Daria or Quinn. (Helen sips her coffee with a brooding look on her face.) Helen: I don't think you'll have to worry about that, Jake. Jake: Whew! (Quinn walks into the kitchen pulling an unseen Daria behind her.) Quinn: Mom, Dad, look what happened to Daria! (Only the back of Daria's legs can be seen as the view looks on to Helen, her face brightens up as she walks over to Quinn and Daria.) Helen: Oh Daria! You look so lovely! (Jake drops his paper on the table and spits out his coffee.) Jake: Dear God, Helen! Everything you read in the tabloids is true! End Scene 5 * * * Scene 6 (At Lawndale High School the next morning, Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie stand against a row of hallway lockers.) Joey: I can't wait for Quinn to get here. Jeffy: Well, I can't wait even more. Jamie: I can't wait the most. (Quinn enters through a school doorway followed by Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy.) Joey: Hi Quinn! Jeffy: I missed you. Jamie: I almost cried, Quinn. (Quinn waves her hand at Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie as she walks back to the entrance.) Quinn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be with you three in a minute. (Quinn pokes her head out the door. Daria remains unseen.) Quinn: Daria, are you going to just stand on the front steps all day? Daria: Unless I'm fortunate enough to be attacked by a pack of wild dogs. (Quinn grabs Daria by the arm and pulls her into the building.) Daria: Hey! Quinn: Oh just come on! We're not going to impress Ms. Li if your hair is wind-blown. (Quinn pulls Daria through the doorway. Only the back of Daria is seen while beyond her Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie stare with slack jaws. All begin to stammer as Daria is seen in a wine red dress with thin straps and a shortened skirt. Daria is without glasses as her hair is pulled up, framing her face in dangling curls. Daria blushes as she clutches her book bag over her shoulder.) Joey: Hi there...I'm Joey...welcome to Lawndale... Jeffy: My names Jeffy...are you new... Jamie: Um...wow...I'm Jamie...pleased to meet you... (Quinn looks at the three with an annoyed expression.) Quinn: Well it looks like my cousin's a big hit, now which one of you three wants to hold my purse while I talk to other guys? (Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie look at Quinn then turn back to Daria and continue looking back and forth at the two.) All: Uh...um...uh... (Daria sighs and starts walking away.) Daria: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to class before my mind shuts down out of fear of losing brain cells. (Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie chase after Daria down the hall.) Joey: Wait, Quinn's cousin! Can I carry your books? Jeffy: I'll carry your book bag for you! Jamie: I'll carry you so your feet won't get tired! (Quinn chases behind them.) Quinn: Wait! My feet are tired! (Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy watch as they all run off.) Sandi: My, she certainly seems to have the look for popularity. If Ms. Li gives us back are funding, we should consider making her a member of the Fashion Club. Tiffany: She does have a natural pouty look. I mean, I took me eight months to work on mine. Stacy: And she used to be a brain before she became popular so we'll never have to worry about our school work again. Sandi: So it's unanimous. She might even make Vice President. (Sandi crosses her arms as she watches Quinn run down the hall.) Sandi: Of course, that means our current V.P. will have to resign... End Scene 6 * * * Scene 7 (In Ms. Barch's Science Class, Ms. Barch sits at the front of the room.) Ms. Barch: Now that you've all been paired up with members of the opposite sex, we can study the social habits of different animal species. You will observe in all instances how the females build and maintain a stable living environment and see how they gather food and protect the young while all the men want to do is sleep, fight, and play with themselves. You might be able to relate this to our own society and be as surprised, yet not so much shocked, as I to find out the similarities. Perhaps you'll then understand why certain, enlightened, female insects tend to kill their mate. You may start discussing your assignment with you lab partner. (Charles walks over to Kevin and Brittany's lab table.) Charles: Excuse me you two love birds, but have you seen my cynically endowed lab partner around today? Kevin: You mean Daria? I always thought she looked flat-chested. Brittany: No, Kevie, I think he's talking about her personality. Charles: How astute of you, Brittany. Of course, not everyone was bestowed with the generosity of nature such as yourself. Kevin: Yeah, Babe, you're a very giving person! (Brittany looks at Charles with suspicious eyes.) Brittany: I think Upchuck was referring to something else. Kevin: Oh! Well you give a lot of that too, Babe! (Brittany slaps Kevin in the head.) Brittany: You jerk! (Daria walks into the room and sits down at her lab table. Kevin, Brittany, and Charles looks at her in shock.) Kevin: Whoa! She isn't flat-chested after all! (Brittany looks at Kevin angrily. Charles smooths his hair back with the palms of his hands.) Charles: I should say not. Growl! (Charles walks over to Daria and slides into the chair next to her. Daria sighs.) Charles: My, aren't we the duckling that turned into a swan? Daria: Funny, this whole situation reminds me more of a Brothers' Grim fairy tale. Charles: To what do we owe this metamorphosis? Daria: My sister and her twisted sense of humor. (Ms. Barch walks over to the lab table Daria and Charles are seated at.) Ms. Barch: Charles, instead of staring at Ms. Morgendorffer as if she were a cold beer and syndicated sport broadcast, why don't you do something more constructive like arrange the pieces of chalk at the black board from longest to shortest? Charles: But Ms. Barch, I fail to see how that would... Ms. Barch: Upchuck, if you mumble one more thing from your chauvinistic little mouth I'll keep you after school for a detailed recount of all my ex- husband's, and the rest of men's, faults. Charles: Eeep! (Charles walks over to the chalkboard. Ms. Barch turns to Daria.) Ms. Barch: Well Daria, I see you've embraced the superficial mating face- paint and garments that is more commonly known as feminine attire. Daria: Am I in trouble because of this? Ms. Barch: Not at all. I just wanted to tell you what you can expect. Now that you're an object of perverted affection to the opposite sex you can expect nothing but lies and betrayal in exchange for all you love, support, and 15 minutes of carnal pleasure. Of course, you'll be better off when the grunting ape you marry runs off with a woman who buys all her clothes from the junior's section at Cashman's. Daria: We're not talking about me anymore, are we? End Scene 7 * * * Scene 8 (In the Lawndale High Cafeteria, Daria sits down at a lunch table. A string of laughter comes from behind Daria. Jane, still laughing, sits down next to Daria.) Jane: Well look at you! Have you finished your Miss Teen America speech yet? Daria: Go to hell, Lane. Jane: Well those Judges won't have to look to hard for their Miss Congeniality. You look like a centerfold, Daria. Daria: The man had a camera and promised the pictures would be tasteful and in wallet print. (Daria fold her arms on the table and puts her head on top of them.) Daria: I've been hit on by every guy and propositioned by every girl in school. The thing is none of them know my name. They keep calling me "Deriah". Jane: You know that's only the ones who don't know how to whistle. Still, I wish I had your problems. Not many girl seem to get along with me and the only men that come a call'n for me are the ones who don't want to take their cousins to prom. Daria: The day is half way over. I can make it if I don't think about justifiable homicide. (A group of guys and girls walk over to Daria.) Guy 1: You know, I've never seen an Angel fly so low. Guy 2: Those shoes aren't good for someone to wear when all they do is run through my mind all day. Girl 1: Deriah, me and the girls were wondering if you'd like to hang out with us this weekend? Girl 2: We'll do anything you want or say if you let us be seen with you! (Daria sighs. Jane smiles and slides over a piece of paper and pen.) Jane: Make it out to Jane, "I'll think of you each time I apply a new coat of lip gloss. Deriah" (The group of students start pulling out their notebooks.) Girl: Sign my notebook too! (One of the guys winks at Daria.) Guy: Put your phone number next to my autograph. (Daria turns to Jane with an annoyed expression.) Daria: For this, you will pay. Jane: Ha! Are you going to sick your groupies on me? End Scene 8 * * * Scene 9 (Daria stands in front of her opened locker as she grabs a book. She glances at a reflection of her in a locker mirror and sighs. Jodie and Michael(Mack) walk up to Daria's locker.) Jodie: It looks like Brittany was telling the truth. Daria, you look really great. Michael: But not thrilled. Daria: I preferred it when nobody even knew I existed. Now everyone I know wants to heckle me and everyone I don't know wants to be my friend because I look nice in crimson. It's so insincere. Michael: Everybody's not like that. People are just noticing you because you don't just blend into the background like before. Jodie: Once they get to know you, they'll like you for what's on the inside as well as what's on the outside. (Kevin and Brittany walk over to Daria's locker.) Kevin: Hey Jodie. Hey Mack daddy! Michael: Don't call me that. Brittany: I'm having a party at my house Saturday and I want all of you to come! Daria: Even me? Brittany: Of course! I don't mind knowing you now that you look like an actual person. Daria: As opposed to those synthetic ones? Kevin: Damn straight! We're like too old to be playing with dolls. Jodie: Never mind what Michael and I just said. (Kevin, Brittany, Michael, and Jodie all exit.) Michael: See you later, Daria. (Jane walks over to Daria still laughing.) Daria: Jane, would you give it a rest? Jane: I'm sorry. It just gets funnier every time I see you! Daria: If it wasn't my life, I'd probably think it was pretty funny, as well. Jane: Don't worry about it. You can be back to your normal self tomorrow. Daria: I just have to "shake my little tush on the catwalk" for Ms. Li, sacrifice what's left of my pride, then I get to go back to being a blemish on the fashion society. What a great deal. Jane: At least you won't have to worry about the draft you're getting from what's left of your dress. (Jane starts laughing again. Daria looks at her in annoyance.) Daria: I will not hesitate in silencing you with my ankle bracelet. (Ms. Li, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy approach Daria and Jane.) Ms. Li: Ms. Morgendorffer! I am without words. You look like the embodiment of good student living. Jane: I was thinking more like the embodiment of "House of Style". (Ms. Li turns to Sandi and the others.) Ms. Li: This is no small feat, ladies. Not only is did you turn an average person to a beauty, but she's the talk of the school. The Fashion Club has proven it's value to Lawndale High. I will reinstate your funding so long as you continue to do positive things like this? (Ms. Li eyes Jane.) Ms. Li: Perhaps you could do something with Ms. Lane here. (Ms. Li walks away.) Ms. Li: Remember, a beautiful student is a happy student. Daria: Funny, I'm not too happy. Jane: But you scream bubbly. Daria: I'm not going to be the one screaming... (Sandi and the others eye Jane.) Sandi: I'm sure we could do something for you later, but right now we need to talk to Quinn's cousin in private. (Daria whispers to Jane.) Daria: Don't leave me. (Jane pats Daria on the back and walks away.) Jane: Oh don't be shy. Play nice with your little friends and I'll see you after school. (Daria turns to Sandi and the others.) Tiffany: You know, I think you look really cute. Stacy: Now that you look so cute, you can hang out with us and we won't have to pretend we don't know you. Daria: I'm honored. Sandi: Deriah, wouldn't it be great if we could socialize like this all the time? Daria: Only if I want to embrace a fate worst than death. Sandi: How would you like to become Vice President of the Fashion Club? Daria: Isn't that Quinn's job? (Sandi smiles.) Sandi: It doesn't have to be. (Daria looks to see Quinn watching from down the hall. Quinn's expression is hurt as she turns and walks away. Daria sighs.) Daria: The loyalty I see here makes me speechless. (All three smile, oblivious to the remark.) Stacy: This is how we always are to each other! (Daria exits.) Daria: I have to go to class. End Scene 9 * * * Scene 10 (The dismissal bell rings as Daria exits the school. She sees Jane waiting for her by a tree. Daria walks over to her.) Jane: So, how did your orientation go? Was it more cult like or did they send you through the spanking machine? Daria: They tried to give me Quinn's job. Jane: Ouch. Daria: The petty, self-centeredness is really getting to me. I have to do something. (A car horn honks. Daria and Jane turn to see Trent parked along the side of the road in his car. Daria blushes.) Jane: Trent said he'd give us a ride on his way to band practice today. Daria: I... Jane: Don't worry. You have nothing to feel weird about. You're still the same sarcastic Daria underneath all that hair gel. (Daria and Jane walk up to Trent's car. Jane slides into the back seat.) Jane: Daria, you sit in front. I feel like riding in the back today. There's more chances for me to inhale exhaust fumes. Trent: Don't breath to deeply, Janie, or you'll forget your name for about an hour. (Daria climbs in next to Trent. She blushes as Trent looks at her.) Trent: Hey Daria. There's something different about you. New glasses? Daria: I'm not wearing any. (Trent starts driving.) Trent: Then that would be what's different. Anyway, you look nice. (Daria smiles.) Daria: Thanks. End Scene 10 * * * Scene 11 (In her room Daria stands in front of her bedroom mirror, looking at herself. Jake and Helen enter.) Helen: Daria, we just wanted you to know how nice we think you look. Jake: Just as long as you didn't do it because of a guy. Just remember, they're nothing but hormonal sex fiends with one thing on their minds. And if you're having any problems with them, tell me and I'll kill every last one of them! Helen: Jake, will you forget about that stupid article already? Anyway, if you like, I'll take you to Cashman's tonight and we can buy you a whole new wardrobe. Daria: Thanks, Mom, but I don't want to commit to anything just yet. I'm not sure if I like this new me. Jake: Well, whatever you chose to do, Kiddo, we're behind you. Helen: That's right. We'll always love and be proud of you no matter how you look or act. Daria: Same here. (Jake and Helen exit the room.) Jake: See you at dinner, Kiddo. (Daria turns away from her mirror and sees Quinn come in.) Quinn: So your all popular now and everything. Congratulations or something. It's like the whole school forgot I existed because you were there. Know I know how you must feel, like, everyday of your life. Daria: Thanks. Quinn: Why are you so moody? Everyone in school was talking about you and this Deriah girl all day. Nobody cares what I was wearing and Sandi handed you my place on the Fashion Club. You should be thrilled. Daria: What I am is a poseur. I can't pretend I'm happy like this. It's shallow and dishonest, but it's the only place on earth where a person like you can be happy. Quinn: What are you saying? Daria: Tomorrow I'm going back to my unpopular, average looking self. (Quinn rolls her eyes.) Quinn: That is so like you, Daria! Sandi, the girls, and I go to all this hard work and this is how you repay us! Daria: Maybe you can find another pathetic person to makeover that will be more appreciative. Quinn: Damn right! (Quinn starts to leave the room.) Quinn: And if you think you're doing this as some kind of favor to me or something, think again because I was never intimidated by any of this! Daria: Of course you weren't, Quinn. (Quinn leaves the room. She stops in the hallway, leans against the wall, puts a hand on her chest, and sighs with relief.) End Scene 10 * * * Scene 11 (At Lawndale High, Jane and Daria (dressed as her normal self) stand in a bathroom in front of the mirror.) Jane: So everyone wants to know what happened to Deriah. I'm going to start a rumor that she moved to New York to start a modeling career in Mr. DeMartino's history class. Daria: You're a true friend. I just wonder what monster the Fashion Club will create next. (Jane opens the bathroom door. Charles walks by wearing tuxedo with women following him.) Charles: Easy, ladies, don't wrinkle the suit. There's enough of the ol' Chuckster to go around. Jane: You had a taste of that kind of power, Daria, don't you miss any of it? (Jane starts to leave as Daria looks into the mirror, removes her glasses, and pulls her hair up with her hand and smiles.) Daria: Not a thing. The End Plot and Dialogue by: Courtney Wells E-mail me at Sentryhope@aol.com to tell me what you think of my Daria episode. I'll take positive and negative comments, and don't be too harsh unless you can do better.