Home Sweet Home Summary: Trent tells Daria how he feels about her. Or at least he thinks he does instead he ends up telling Quinn, Helen and Jake. Meanwhile Aunt Amy has an announcement that comes out of the blue and the Morgendorffers gets a big shock, which makes them realize how lucky they really are. Disclaimer: Daria and all related titles, logos, and characters are trademarks of MTV Networks, a division of Viacom International Inc. Author's notes: This is a complete work of fan fiction and was written solely for the author's personal enjoyment. This is my first ever work of fan fiction so parts of it may be inaccurate. I hope it isn't *that* bad. ACT 1. CUT TO. EXT: The front door of the Lane residence. (Daria rings the doorbell.) CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Living Room Trent is asleep on the couch. Trent: Huh, Janey? (Getting up and walking to the door.) (He opens the door, at first he can't tell who it is so he rubs his eyes and suddenly realizes it's Daria.) Trent: Hey Daria. Daria: Uh hi Trent, is Jane there? Trent: Sorry she's gone out with Tom. Daria: (Depressed.) Oh. Trent: Well you can hang around and wait till they get back if you want. Daria: Okay. Trent: (Surprised.) Huh? Daria: I said okay. Trent: Cool. (Smiling to himself, he lets her in.) CUT TO. INT Lane residence, Living room Daria is sitting down on the edge of the couch looking down at the floor with a bored expression on her face. Trent is standing in the middle of the room with an awkward expression on his face. Trent: Daria, I've got something to tell you. Daria: Okay. (Not looking up.) Trent: Do you (choosing his words carefully) want to hear a new song I wrote? Daria: If you want me to. Trent: Good, I'll just go get my guitar. I was planning to show someone before I show Max, Nick and Jesse in case they don't like it. Daria: Like there's any chance of that happening. Trent: What was that? Daria: Nothing. Trent goes down to the basement to retrieve his guitar. Meanwhile Jane and Tom return from their date. Jane: Yo! Daria: Hi Jane, Hi Tom. Tom: Hi Daria. Jane: (Enthusiastically.) You will not believe the movie we just saw! Tom: Yeah, you should go see it yourself. Jane: Maybe next time she could join us and bring someone along and make it a double date. (Gives Daria a cheeky grin.) Daria: I would but isn't dating more *Quinn's* thing? Tom: So *you* would like to join us? (Catching onto Jane's drift) Daria: That's if you don't mind stopping of at the graveyard first so I can drop of Jane's body. Jane: Touchy. Suddenly Trent returns with his guitar, He looks a little overwhelmed with Jane and Tom joining them. Trent: Hi Janie, Hi Tom. Tom: Hi Trent, how's the Spiral? Trent: Pretty good, we're starting to get more gigs. Tom: Any chance of breaking out of Lawndale? Trent: We're getting there. Tom: Cool, (Checks the time on his watch) Well it's been nice seeing you all but I better get going now, see you guys. Daria and Trent: Bye. Jane: Bye Tom (She walks up to him and gives him a big kiss on the lips right in front of Daria and Trent, before letting him leave.) Meanwhile Daria and Trent have awkward expressions on their faces. Trent: (Slightly nervous.) Well I've gotta get going too I've got a rehearsal at Jesse's. (With that he leaves.) Jane: (Turning to Daria.) It looked like my brother was going to give you a little serenade until we dropped in. Daria: Shut up Lane, he was just going to play me his new song. Jane: Sure, *I* believe you. (Smirking to herself) CUT TO: INT: Morgendorffer Residence, living room. Quinn is sitting on the center couch painting her nails, Jake is on the left couch reading the Lawndale Sun-herald and Helen is pacing round the room on her cell phone with her boss Eric. Quinn: Daddy, can I have $150 for some new shoes? Jake: Sure, here you go. (Pulling some bills out of wallet.) Helen (OS): Jake! Jake: (Putting money back.) Actually on the other hand how about you save up for them yourself. Quinn: But dad, Tiffany's party is tomorrow night and there's no way I could save up in time. Jake: (Whispering.) Okay, just don't tell your mother. Helen (OS): What was that? Jake: Nothing. (Goes back to reading his paper.) CUT TO INT: Moreno Residence Trent, Max, Nick and Jesse have just set everything up. Trent: (Lying) Hey guys I've gotta go to the bathroom, you can begin without me. Nick: Okay. Jesse: Cool. Trent quickly exits the room and waits a few minutes till he picks up the phone. Before he begins dialing he checks his watch it's 5:30. CUT TO. INT: Morgendorffer Residence, Kitchen. The cordless phone in the kitchen is ringing. Quinn is still painting her nails, Jake is still reading the newspaper and Helen is still on her cellular phone. Helen (OS): Quinn, can you check who that is? Quinn: Sorry mom, my nails are wet. Helen: Jake? Jake: (looking up from his paper) Huh what? Helen: Answer the phone Jake: Just wait a minute this comic is really funny. (Begins chuckling to himself.) (The phone stops ringing.) Helen: Dammit you're too late! Helen's recorded message comes up and is followed by a beep. Trent: Hey Daria this is kind of private so could you erase this after you hear it. (At the sound of the word private Quinn, Helen and Jake drop what they're doing and run over to the answering machine.) CUT TO. (Trent on the phone) Trent: Daria I was going to tell you this earlier on but I couldn't work myself up to say it. Daria I like you (beat) a lot. I know this probably comes to a surprise to you and that you probably don't feel the same about me but I had to get it of my chest. Don't worry I understand if you only want to remain friends and would like it if this in no way affected our friendship, I feel the same way too. (Beat.) You're the first person I've told about this and I would really like it if you didn't tell Janie. Well I've gotta go you can stop by later and let me know what you want. Bye. CUT TO. (Quinn, Helen and Jake.) All 3 Morgendorffers have surprised looks on their faces it's hard to tell whether they're pleased or disgusted. Quinn: Can you believe it someone actually likes Daria? Jake: What's that supposed to mean? Quinn: Look at her she doesn't even attempt to attract them and they still come after her. Helen: Quinn are you trying to me you're jealous? Quinn: No way, Look at the guy he can't even dress himself. Jake: Hmm, you do have a point. Helen: Quinn, could you play that message again? Quinn: Sure mom, (without looking she presses a button and finally turns around to see what she's done) Oh No! I pressed the erase button. Jake: (With a look of panic on his face.) What should we do? Daria: (Walking up to them.) Do about what? Jake: (Cheerful.) Hi kiddo! Daria: (With a suspicious look on her face.) Hi dad, is there something you guys don't want me to know? (Beat.) (Suddenly the phone rings.) Quinn: I'll get that. (Picking up the cordless.) (Cut to split screen between Quinn and Aunt Amy) Quinn: Hello. Aunt Amy: Hello Quinn it's Aunt Amy, how are you? Quinn: I'm fine. Aunt Amy: That's good, could I have a word with your mom? Quinn: (Putting hand over receiver.) Mom, its Aunt Amy! The camera pans to Daria, Helen and Jake all three of them have surprised looks on their faces. (Cut to split screen between Amy and Helen) Helen: Hello Amy. Amy: Hello Helen, do you have plans tomorrow? Helen: Not that I know of. Amy: Then would you be able to bring Jake and the girls to my place I have to make an important announcement. Mom and Rita are also invited. Helen: Okay, we'll be there but what's the big announcement? Amy: I'll tell you all tomorrow, I've got to get going now bye. Helen: Bye. (Split screen ends, now it's just Daria and Helen.) Helen: That was strange. Daria: What do you mean? Helen: We're all invited to go to Amy's tomorrow. Daria: We are? Helen: It seems she has an important announcement to make and she wants us all to be there. Daria: That is weird. CUT TO (Split Screen Daria and Jane.) Jane: (Picking up phone.) Yo! Daria: It looks like I'll have to take a rain check on that Sick Sad World marathon tomorrow. Jane: You mean *another* family bonding session? Daria: No, we're invited to Aunt Amy's place because she has some announcement to make. Jane: Maybe she's announcing her engagement. Daria: I doubt it. Jane: Daria just because you aren't doing anything about your love life doesn't mean anyone else isn't. Daria: (Offensive.) I didn't say that. Jane: Well she's single isn't she? Daria: Yeah. Jane: So there's your solution. Who knows maybe you'll get to be a bridesmaid again? (Smirking.) Daria: Don't ever bring that up again. Jane: What are friends for? Quinn (OS): Daria, I need the phone! Daria: I've gotta go Quinn needs the phone. Jane: See you, I'll call you tomorrow. Daria: Okay, bye. CUT TO Saturday afternoon. EXT: The front of Amy's house The Morgendorffers are pulling up in Jake's Lexus. Meanwhile Daria is keeping an eye out for any unfamiliar cars but so far all she can see are Grandma Barksdale's, Aunt Rita's and her cousin, Erin's cars. Yet she does notice that Amy's double car garage is closed. Amy: (Walking up to the Morgendorffers) Hi everyone, just follow me inside. Everyone else is already here (pointing to everyone seated in her living room.) CUT TO. INT: Amy's Living Room The Morgendorffers quickly find a seat. Also among them are grandma Barksdale, Aunt Rita and her date, Daria and Quinn's cousin Erin and her new husband Brian. Amy: The reason I have called you all here today is to make an important announcement. (Beat.) Last week I was given the offer to move northeast to New York to accept a new job. Rita: What? Amy: I'm moving to New York where not only I will have a new job but I will also be getting a raise that is nearly double my current annual salary and a high rise apartment in Manhattan. (She gives a smug look at her older sisters Helen and Rita) Rita: (Demanding) What about us? Amy: What about you? Grandma Barksdale: Amy, don't talk to your sister like that! Amy: It's not like I see her often. Grandma Barksdale: But it still doesn't give you the right to talk to her like that. Amy: Well if she has a problem with me moving that's her problem and you know what I don't give a damn! Helen: But we're family. Amy: Is that why you're always fighting with Rita and mom? Helen: (Outraged.) What? Amy: You heard me. Grandma Barksdale: Amy that's enough! Meanwhile Rita's boyfriend and Brian are staring at the ceiling, Jake's fidgeting with his watch, Quinn and Erin are watching their mothers embarrass themselves with their grandmother by arguing with Amy and Daria has a hand over her mouth still in shock. Amy: Well what do you think? (Looking directly at Daria, Quinn, Jake and Erin.) Erin: (Sucking up.) Well if that's what makes you happy, then I'll support you. Quinn and Jake: Yeah, we will too. Amy: What about you Daria? Daria: (beat) (softly) I'll miss you. The room falls silent as everyone turns to Daria. Everyone has surprised looks on their faces. Amy: (Beat.) Daria, can I have word with you? Daria: If you want me to. (Getting up to join Amy.) CUT TO. INT: The corridor of Amy's house Amy: Daria, I know this is probably hurting you most, as everyone else is either jealous or just doesn't care. Yet you have to remember I'm only moving to New York not some other country half way round the world so you can still call, email and write to me. Daria: I know but it's still not the same. Amy: Well I still have to go to stupid family get togethers, and so-called special events. Daria: So we'll only see each other when we're suffering? Amy: That's the spirit, anyway maybe I can see if I can get Helen and Jake to let you spend the summer with me that way you can finally get away from them and I can show you around New York. Daria: I'd like that. Amy: Maybe I can organize it next summer. (Beat.) So is that all you've got on your mind? Daria: Actually there is something else. Amy: There is? Daria: Yeah, but it's kind of personal though. Amy: Hey I'm all ears, here we can go in here. (Opening the garage door.) CUT TO. INT: Amy's Garage Amy: So come on spit it out. Daria: You see there's this boy I like. Amy: I see. (Smirking.) Daria: I haven't told him how I feel though because I don't think he likes me in *that* way. Amy: Can I tell you something? Daria: Yes. Amy: When I was about your age there was this boy I liked but I never told him how I felt. Daria: So? Amy: So when I was in my senior year I found out he liked me too. So to think that all those years of not telling him he felt the same way about me. Daria: So what happened? Amy: It didn't work out. Daria: Oh. Amy: It's not what you're thinking. Daria: It isn't? Amy: No, the reason it didn't work out was because he moved interstate for college the next year and you know how long distance relationships are. Daria: So you're telling me to go for it, or else I could be missing out on something. Amy: Yes or you could end up regretting it. Daria: Do you regret it? Amy: No, I got over it years ago. Daria: It's just not that simple though because he's 5 years older than I am. Amy: So, when did age mean a thing? Daria: He'll probably just think I'm a silly little high school girl and not only that mom and dad will hit the roof. Amy: Do you think I care what anyone thinks of me? (Beat.) Besides I can handle your mom if you want. I'll just tell her that I know a lot of stuff about her that she doesn't want either you or Quinn to know. Daria: You'd do that for me? Amy: Of course you're my favorite niece. Daria: Thanks Aunt Amy Amy: You're welcome CUT TO. INT: Amy's Living Room (Helen and Rita are having a screaming war while everyone else is sitting back bored.) Jake: (Embarrassed.) Amy, would that be okay if we left now? Amy: Sure Jake. END ACT 1 Commercial Bumper: Quinn erasing Trent's message Begin Commercials: Okay first up I'm not American so I have no idea what commercials you have on MTV so how about this: 1. Gap 2. Coke-Cola 3. Dr. Martens 4. Britney Spears "Baby One More Time" album 5. Road Rules End Commercials: How'd I go? Begin ACT 2. CUT TO. EXT. Lane Residence Daria: Would that be all right if I got dropped of here? Helen: (Angry.) Do what you want. Jake: Just don't hang around too late, I'm cooking dinner Daria: (Getting out of the car.) Okay dad. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Living Room Trent: Hey Daria, How was it? Daria: Awful. Trent: Oh. (Misinterpreting what she's talking about) Trent: It was a pretty big shock, wasn't it? Daria: Yeah. Trent: So how are you taking it? Daria: It's just that she means a lot to me, I've felt closer to her in such short time than I have with most people. Trent (VO): Dammit! She's not interested in me but who she talking about? Trent: (Casually.) So who is she? Daria: Trent don't you know who I'm talking about? It's my Aunt Amy Trent: What? Trent (VO): This can't be true Daria's a lesbian with her aunt! Daria: Yes, she's moving to New York to take up a job offer. Trent (VO): But what about the message? Oh no! What if Daria's sister and parents heard it? Oh Crap! Daria: Trent are you okay? You look kind of pale. Jane: (Coming down the stairs.) I thought I heard another voice. Daria: Hi Jane. Jane: Hey, you wanna come upstairs? The Sick sad World Marathon is still on. CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Jane's Room Jane: So what was the big announcement? Daria: She's moving to New York Jane: I'm sorry, (smirking) I would of loved seeing you in another bridesmaid dress. Daria: It's okay, I'm all right with it now. Jane: But weren't you two close? Daria: Not really, just closer than what she was with Quinn and Erin. Jane: Anything else happen? Daria: Mom, Aunt Rita and grandma got into some big argument, Quinn and Erin swapped beauty advice and Dad, Brian and aunt Rita's date nearly fell asleep. Jane: So do you want to know what you missed? Daria: Start rolling. Jane: Well first of all they were all reruns, but they did include some of our favorites like "Secret Scout Scandals," "Psychic Centerfolds" and "Nude Book Clubs." (1) Daria: Dammit! Jane: Yeah, but there's still two hours to go. CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Living Room The phone begins ringing. Trent: (Wearily.) Hello. Helen: Hello, this is Daria's mother could I speak to her *now*? Trent: (Nervously.) I'll just go get her Mrs. M. CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Jane's Room Trent: Daria, it's your mom she sounds pissed off. Daria: That'd be right, I'll take it in here. CUT TO. (Split screen Daria and Helen) Daria: Hello mom. Helen: Daria, dinner's ready, so can you come home now? Daria: Okay, Bye mom Helen: Bye Sweetie. (End split screen.) Daria: I've gotta go dinner's ready and it's my dads cooking Jane: Bummer. Daria: Bye guys. (Daria leaves.) Jane: (Turning to Trent.) Trent you're starting to act weird. Trent: What do you mean? Jane: You haven't been sleeping much lately and you don't seem so oblivious. Trent: So, maybe you're just paranoid. Jane: There's something on your mind isn't there? Trent: No and I'm going out now. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Kitchen Jake: So what do you think Kiddo? Daria: That was (beat) well interesting. Jake: What about you Quinn? Quinn: Can I be excused? Jeffy's picking me up to go to Tiffany's party. Jake: (Disappointed.) But you've barely touched your dinner. Quinn: There'll be heaps of food there. Jake: (Cheerful.) Have a good time then. Quinn: I will, oh and thanks for the shoes dad! Helen: Jake! What did I tell you? Jake: (Meekly.) I'll go invite Jeffy in. CUT TO. EXT. Pizza King Sunday lunch time. INT. Pizza King Brittany: Hi Daria, Hi Jane, Can we join you? There are no other tables and Kevvy and I are really hungry. Jane: Actually we're just leaving. Brittany: No you're not we just saw you get here and you haven't even ordered yet. Daria: We already ate we're just here to sit down. Kevin: That's what the Park's for stupid. Jane: Kevin *are* you sure you aren't making a mistake? Kevin: No, the park's for sitting and making out just like Brit and I were doing earlier. Daria: Well thanks for letting us know. Kevin: (Oblivious.) No problem. Brittany: Come on babe it's obvious they don't want us let's go to my house and watch cable, but no Pigskin Channel. Kevin: But babe I love the Pigskin Channel. Brittany: Well you're going to have to think of something different. Kevin: I think they're showing "Dumb and Dumber" now. Brittany: Yay! I love Jim Carrey. Kevin: You mean you're having an affair with Jim Carrey? CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Kitchen Helen: (On the cordless.) Okay we'll be there, bye. Daria: (Walking in with Jane.) Mom who was that? Helen: Amy, she's having a farewell party Tuesday night. Daria: Why so soon? Helen: I thought she told you, she's leaving Thursday. Daria: Well Jane and I are just going to go watch TV in my room. Helen: Okay have fun girls. Jane: Mrs. Morgendorffer we *don't* have fun. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Daria's Room Daria: Jane, can I stay over your place Tuesday night? Jane: But what about saying goodbye to Amy? Daria: I'll be lucky to come out alive, you don't know what my mom's family, are like. Jane: You're telling me the one with 4 siblings, 4 nieces and nephews, 3 ex sister in laws, 2 ex brother in laws and numerous aunts, uncles and grandparents. Daria: You do have a point but I'm telling you when you get the Barksdales and lots of liquor together things get messy. Jane: You should come to a Lane Family Reunion and see what you're missing out on. Daria: Okay, okay I'll go just because talking about family is making me feel sick. Jane: Now you've got the spirit! Daria: If you don't watch it your spirit will be all that's left of you. CUT TO. INT: Amy's house, Living Room, Tuesday Night. Daria: How come you're having a party? I didn't think that was your style. Amy: It's not, your mom and Rita came up with it. At least it gives me the chance to let them tear each other apart one more time. Daria: (Deadpan.) I'd hate to miss that. Amy: Hey at least I know that when they leave I won't be seeing them for awhile. Daria: I wish I could say the same. Amy: So have you seen that guy you were talking about? Quinn: (Walking up with a glass of punch.) What guy? Amy: (Looking at Quinn's dress.) Quinn you've spilt punch on your dress. Quinn: Oh no! Don't tell anyone. (Runs off to the bathroom.) Daria: I haven't had the chance to but when I talked to him on Saturday he kept giving me strange looks. Amy: Maybe he's just nervous. Daria: I doubt it he's in a band. Erin: (Walking up.) Have you seen Quinn? Amy: I think she's in the bathroom. (Smirking.) Erin: Thanks Aunt Amy. (Walks away.) CUT TO. INT: Amy's Bathroom Erin: Quinn, what happened to you? Quinn (OS): (Screaming) DARIA! CUT TO. INT: Amy's Living Room Daria and Amy are smirking CUT TO. INT. Jake's Lexus Quinn: My dress it's ruined. Helen: I'm sure it'll come out. Jake: If it makes you feel better I'll pay for the dry cleaning. Quinn: Don't worry it's not worth it, it's not like I'll wear it again anyway. Daria: You got that right. Helen: (Looking at the front door.) Jake did you remember to lock the door when we left? Jake: Of course why wouldn't I? Helen: The . . . The, the door it's open. Jake: (Panicked.) Oh my God! What do I do? Helen: Check the house, I'll call 911. Jake: Good idea, girls you stay calm. Daria: I am calm. Jake: Well look after your sister or something. Helen: Jakey be careful. (Jake carefully gets out of the car and walks through the door as soon as he enters the living room it's obvious that the house has been broken into. The entire entertainment unit, which included some items like a television, a VCR, a stereo system and speakers, are all gone.) CUT TO. INT. Jake's Lexus (Meanwhile in the car Helen is on her cell phone calling 911, Quinn has a scared expression on her face and Daria is just staring at house.) Helen: Okay, Thank you bye. (Turning her cell phone off.) Quinn: What did they say? Helen: They're sending a car out now, I think we should go inside and check on your father who knows what the house looks like. Quinn: But what if they're still inside? Daria: I doubt it there's no car and it's nearly 2am it was probably done earlier on in the evening. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Living Room (In the center of the room stands a very miserable Jake. His face is covered in his hands but he isn't crying, instead it looks like he is trying to pull himself together. Daria, Quinn and Helen slowly walked up to him but he pays no attention to them. Then slowly he lifts his head and speaks.) Jake: (Nervously.) What are we going to do? Everything we have worked so long for is either ruined or gone, I don't think I can take it. Helen: We'll work something out. I'll call the insurance company first thing in the morning and the police are already on the way over. Jake: But it's too late it's all gone. Helen: I'm sure they will catch whoever did this and when they do I will make sure they never see the light again. Quinn: Daddy, is it safe to go upstairs? I want to see my room. Helen: Here I'll come with you we might as well find out what's missing now so we don't have to when the insurance company comes. With that Daria, Quinn and Helen left leaving Jake on his own once again. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Quinn's Room (As soon as they walk in it's obvious that most of Quinn's clothes are gone.) Quinn: My clothes! What am I going to wear? I can't live like this. Helen: You've still got some of them they're just all over the floor. Daria: Looks like you were wrong about something. Quinn: What? Daria: In the car you said you'd never wear that dress again, but by the way things are going you're going to be wearing that dress for awhile. (Quinn just stares at her room with her mouth hanging open. She's speechless.) Helen: (Concerned) Quinn is there something wrong? Quinn: Yes, there is and I'm sorry, I'm sorry (with that she breaks down and cries) Helen: Sweetie, you've done nothing wrong. Quinn: But can't you see this is a wake up call, all of my life all I did was keep asking for more and more. From designer clothes to expensive jewelry, I've had it all. Now they've taken it all away from me just so I can finally understand that I really am lucky. Helen: Quinn it's not your fault, if anything it's mine. Daria: (Surprised.) Yours? What did you do? Helen: Actually it's more what I didn't do. You see your father and I bought this house to live in yet over the past two years how much time have I spent here? (Beat.) Not much at all instead I've spent it working. So all this time I spent trying to get this family together I was also driving us away. So now I think it's a wake up call to spend more time at home. Daria: Can't you two see this is neither of your faults. You both can't help the ways you are just like I can't help the way I am. This isn't a wake up call it's just a misfortune that was probably going to happen anyway. (Both Quinn and Helen are silent for a minute.) Quinn: How about we go check Daria's room. Daria: I doubt they could do much to it, there's barely anything in it. Helen: I don't know, anyone could easily slash those padded walls. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Daria's Room Daria: (Walking into her room and realizing her computer's gone.) My computer! Quinn: Don't worry about it my laptop's gone too. Helen: I'm sure the insurance can replace it. Daria: (Furious.) No they can't! That computer had everything on it from my stories, to my essays to diary entries. You don't know how much I've put into it and now it's gone. It's irreplaceable as I'll never be able to find all the stuff I put on it. Quinn: Gosh Daria, I didn't know how much that thing meant to you. I'm sorry I guess it never occurred to me seeing that I barely use my laptop. Daria: I forgive you. You wouldn't of known anyway. I guess I really do keep a lot of secrets don't I? Quinn: I wouldn't call it secrets more like you don't share much with us. (A guilty look appears on Daria's face.) Helen: Come on girls we better go check the other rooms before the police get here. Quinn: Okay Mom. Helen: Daria are you coming? Daria: Actually I think I'll go join Dad. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Living Room Daria: Dad are you okay? Jake: (False cheerfulness.) Of course I am kiddo, what makes you say that? Daria: It's obvious when you're lying. Jake: (Angry.) Gee, just about everything I own is gone and now I can't LIE! Daria: I only wanted to know if you're okay. Jake: Sorry Kiddo, I think this is all starting to get too much for me. I really don't know how much more I can take. It seems that all my life I've wanted to better of my old man and now this happens. He's probably laughing his head off right now the stupid, old bastard! Daria: (Obviously uncomfortable) Things will get better dad. Jake: I sure hope so. (With that the doorbell rings. Daria breathes a quiet sigh of relief.) (Daria silently watches as Jake leads two police officers into the living room, Quinn and Helen return from upstairs and all three of them fill the officers in on what happened.) (With that she gets up and walks outside and sits on the edge of the sidewalk.) Daria (VO): Maybe I've been too hard on them after all. CUT TO. INT. Morgendorffer Residence, Living Room Officer 1: Well it looks like this was done by professionals, probably part of some form of group or gang. Helen: What do you mean? Officer 2: Well they have taken many expensive items such as electrical goods, clothing, jewelry and furniture. And by looking at the size of this it wouldn't all fit into a small car. Not only that you will notice that your burglar alarm didn't sound off when they intruded and that no windows were found damaged. Jake: Will you be able to catch them? Or would they of fled town by now? Officer 1: Actually this isn't the first crime of its sort to happen in your neighborhood. As in the past month there have been similar break-ins all over Lawndale. So we suspect that they're storing all the goods in a warehouse somewhere in town. Officer 2: We also advice that we don't think it'd be safe for you to stay in your house for the next few days, as they have been known to return to finish of any unfinished work. (Beat.) Well that's about it, if you have any more queries or extra information you know where you can reach us. Jake: Thank you Officers. (Showing them out.) Quinn: Mom, where are we going to stay? Helen: I'm not sure yet but we'll think of something. Quinn: How about Sandi's house? Helen: Quinn, I don't think that would be suitable you know how you, Sandi, Linda and I don't get along. Besides the Griffins already have 5 people in their house there's no way they could fit everyone in. Quinn: Then how about Stacy's house or Tiffany's house? Helen: Again it wouldn't be appropriate, as neither your father or I know the Blum-Decklers or Rowes. Quinn: So what will we do? Helen: How about we wait for your father to return and work it out then. CUT TO. EXT. Morgendorffer Residence Jake: (Joining Daria on the sidewalk) How's it going kiddo? Daria: Okay, I'm just thinking I guess. Jake: Anything your old man could help you with? Daria: No not really, so what did the police say? Jake: They think that it'd be unsafe to stay at home and instead find some other accommodation. Daria: So have you figured out where we're staying? Jake: Not yet, maybe a small hotel or something that way it wouldn't be too far for you girls to walk to school. Daria: Actually I think I know the perfect place to stay. CUT TO. EXT. Lane Residence Jane: (Wearily.) Hello. (Opening the front door.) Daria: Jane it's me. Jane: Daria? Daria: Yeah. Jane: Then who the hell are all those other people? Daria: My family. Jane: Daria have you gone mad? It's 3am and you've bought your family to my house. Daria: It's a long story, can you at least let us in? Jane: Okay, but you better not *be* pulling any tricks on me. END ACT 2. Commercial Bumper: Jane opening the front door. Begin Commercials: Hmm now I've got to make up some more okay here I go: 1. Taco Bell 2. Seventeen magazine 3. Pepsi 4. Tommy Hilfiger fragrances 5. Celebrity deathmatch End Commercials: I know they're awful but hey these are the last you'll see. ACT 3. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, Living room Daria: So you see we really need somewhere to say. Jane: I guess it's okay if your family don't mind using either Wind's, Penny's, Summer's or my parent's rooms. Quinn: Well um I guess Summer's room doesn't sound so bad. Trent: (Coming down the stairs in only his boxers.) Janie, is it morning already? Jane: No, Daria and her family need a place to stay so I'm letting them stay in return for the time we stayed with them. (Beat) By the way Daria what do you think of Trent's boxer shorts? (Smirking.) Trent: (Blushing.) I uh gotta go get dressed, nice seeing you. Meanwhile Quinn, Helen and Jake all have fixed glances on Daria watching her reactions to Jane's comment. Helen: (Whispering to Jake.) Do you think it's safe to have these two under the same roof? Jake: (Whispering back.) Of course, why not? Helen: (Whispering.) Jake he's a young man and Daria's at a very impressionable surely you're not going to tell me you don't remember being Trent's age. Jake: (Suddenly realizing) Oh crap! What do we do? Daria: Dad is there something wrong? Jake: No, you go on and help Jane setup and get some rest. Quinn: Do we have to go to school tomorrow? If we don't get enough sleep it'll cause black circles around our eyes. Helen: No, you can stay home providing you catch up on some sleep. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, Jane's room Jane: Daria are you okay? Daria: Why wouldn't I be just about everything I own is gone. Jane: No, I mean something other than that? Daria: Actually it's something that my family told me. Jane: (Surprised.) Your family! Daria: Yeah, they all kind of confided in me about how they all thought this was their faults. Jane: Woah! Daria: But that's not all they all kind of apologized and said they want to change their ways. Jane: Weird, so do you believe them? Daria: I should, but I doubt it knowing them they'd be back to their usual selves before you know it. Jane: Maybe you're underestimating them. Daria: Do you really see Quinn changing her ways? Jane: So what about you do you think it's your fault? Daria: No, I just think it's my own bad luck. Jane: Anyway you didn't tell me what you thought of Trent's boxers. Daria: I wasn't looking. Jane: Yeah right, but you managed to go a shade of beet root. Daria: That was because you asked me right in front of my family. Jane: Whatever you say. Trent: (Standing in doorway.) Janie can you keep it down? I can't sleep. Jane: Ha! You can't sleep that's impossible. Trent: It's true I can't sleep and I haven't had any caffeine. Jane: Maybe there really is something on your mind. Trent: Whatever. (Begins walking away.) Just try and keep it down. CUT TO. INT, Lane Residence, Trent's Room Quinn: (Opening door.) Agghhhhhhh! Trent: Hi Daria's sister. Quinn: Grr, my name is Quinn! Trent: Whatever Daria's sister, so why are you here? Quinn: I'm looking for Summer's room but so far all I've found is a room filled with photo's of this guy getting married and lots of wedding souvenirs, a room filled with tin frames and Mexican stuff and a room filed with kid's clothes and toys. Trent: That's Summer's room. Quinn: You mean Summer's only a kid? Trent: No the clothes and toys belong to her four kids. Quinn: Eep! Trent: What? Quinn: Never mind I'm leaving. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, Kitchen Jake: (Tossing a pancake.) Trent you're going to love these pancakes! Trent: Thanks for cooking breakfast, Mr. Morgendorffer. Jake: That's okay. Daria: Dad, you didn't have to cook they already have cereal and fruit. Jake: (Depressed.) But I wanted to. Helen: (Talking on cell phone.) Sorry Eric, I'll have to come in late the insurance people are coming over this morning. (Beat.) Yes I understand. (Beat.) Okay bye. Quinn (OS): Oh my God! Jake: Quinn, are you okay? Quinn (OS): What am I going to do? Jake: (Dropping pancake on the floor.) Oh my God! Jane: Mr. Morgendorffer how about you finish cooking breakfast and I'll check on Quinn okay? Jake: Thanks Jane-O CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Summer's room Quinn is crying on Summer's bed. Jane: What's wrong? Quinn: There's nothing to wear, look at her clothes they're hideous! Jane: Is that all? Quinn: You don't understand, everything here is too big I can't find anything that's about a size 4. Jane: Maybe I can help, you can borrow some of my clothes. Quinn: Eew! They're even worse; you dress as bad as Daria. Jane: Well if that's what you want, you can wear that. (Walking out of the room.) Quinn: No Jane wait, I'm sorry I'll wear whatever you have. Jane: Okay follow me, but I'm not making any promises. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Jane's room Jane: So what do you think? Quinn: (Rummaging through Jane's closet) I guess this will do, at least it fits. Jane: Okay, I'll leave you here to get dressed, I'm going to go join everyone else for breakfast. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Kitchen Jane: (Surprised.) Where'd everyone go? Daria: Trent's gone back to sleep and my parents have gone to meet with the insurance company, where's Quinn? Jane: She's getting dressed, wait till you see her. Daria: What do you mean? Jane: She's borrowing some of *my* clothes. Daria: This I've gotta see, where's your camera? Jane: Sorry, my dad needed to borrow it last time he was here but I can sketch her if you like. Quinn: (Waltzing in.) How do I look? Jane: Where'd you get that? (Eyeing Quinn's outfit suspiciously.) Quinn: Well I found this long black skirt in the back of your closet, but it was way to long so I cut it nice and short. Then I found this pink top in your sister's room, I think it belongs to your niece because it has a smiley face with a halo just like mine does. Jane: Grr! Did I say you could cut my skirt? Quinn: It's not like you wear it or anything and besides it gives you an opportunity to show of your legs. Jane: But you didn't even ask? Quinn: You said I could wear whatever I like Jane: Forget it, c'mon Daria I feel like going to school after all. Quinn: Okay, I was going to go anyway. CUT TO. EXT. Lawndale High Jane: I mean who does she think is? Daria: You should try living with her for 15 and a half years. Jane: But where does she come of like this? Daria: Jane she's spoilt, ever since she was little my parents got her what she wanted she's used to getting her own way, it's her way of life. CUT TO. INT. Lawndale High, Corridor Sandi: Quinn, what happened to your usual outfit? Quinn: I felt like wearing something different, there's nothing wrong with that. Sandi: But you should off informed, Tiffany she is our coordinating officer. What if we were wearing the same outfit? What would of you of done then? Stacy: But you're not wearing the same outfit, so there's nothing to worry about. Sandi: But Stacy don't you see Quinn could of started a fashion disaster. Quinn: Sandi, you know *I'd* never do that. Sandi: Very well, what do you think Tiffany? Tiffany: My head hurts! CUT TO That afternoon. INT. Lane residence, Living Room Tiffany: This place is weird. Quinn: It's only temporary, till we can move back in. Sandi: Maybe we should have held the meeting at my place, where it's *normal. * Stacy: It's not *that* bad once you get used to it. Sandi: Stacy are you recording this? Stacy: Oh my God I forgot! I'm so sorry Sandi. Sandi: It doesn't matter, let's just get down to business. Tiffany: Are those two cats? (Pointing at Zachary and Taylor Lane.)(2) Quinn: Yeah, do you want to say hello to them? Stacy: Yeah, *they're* so cute. Quinn: Here kitty, kitty. (Both Zachary and Taylor walk up and rub themselves against Quinn.) Sandi: Quinn, shouldn't you let *me* handle this? As I am the one with experience. After all I have my little Fluffy. Quinn: Sure, what was I thinking of course *you* should go first. Sandi: Good, here kitty, kitty. (Zachary and Taylor walk up to Sandi at first they just stare at here then all of a sudden they begin scratching her.) Sandi: Ooh! You stupid little cats. OW! That hurts. Wait till I get my hands on you then we'll see who's stronger! Quinn: Sandi, you've made them go out of control! Sandi: No *you* did and you better make up for this. Stacy: I don't think Quinn did anything... (Sandi glares at Stacy.) Stacy: I mean you're right Sandi. Sandi: Come on lets go, I've had enough of this. Quinn: Wait up guys! Tiffany: Bye Quinn. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Living Room (Jesse, Max and Nick have just arrived for practice.) Max: Trent who are they? (Pointing to Quinn, Helen and Jake.) Trent: You remember Daria that's her sister and her parents. Nick: Then why are they here? Trent: I'll tell you later. Jake: (Looking up from his paper.) Hey dudes whassup? Nick: (Trying to get away form Jake.) Trent can we hurry up? We don't have much time. Jake: What'd I do? Helen: For the love of God. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, living room (Later on that night.) (Quinn and Helen are trying to talk on the phone and Jake is trying to read the paper. Yet it's obvious they are all having difficulty as you can hear Mystik Spiral loudly playing in the background.) Quinn: Will they ever stop? Helen: I know, I can barely hear Marianne. Quinn: It's driving me crazy. Jake: I wish there were a way to make them stop. Quinn: I'll try dad. Helen: Quinn I don't think it's a good idea. Quinn: Don't worry I can handle it. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Basement (Mystik Spiral is in the middle of playing "Behind my Eyelids.") Quinn: (Shouting.) Can you guys shut up? Max: Are you talking to us? Quinn: Who else? Nick: We're trying to practice. Quinn: Well I'm *trying* to talk on the phone, my dad is trying to read the paper and my mom is trying to talk on her cellular phone. Max: Well that's not our fault. Quinn: It is to. Jane: What the Hell is going on? Quinn: Your brother's band is too loud. Jane: So? They always are. Quinn: You mean you aren't going to do anything. Jane: Why the hell should I? Quinn: You people are crazy! Jane: Who the hell do you think you are? We're the ones letting you stay and all you've done is complain. If you do anything else I'm gonna kick you and your parents out of here! You got that? Quinn: Whatever, I really don't know what Daria sees in you. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, Kitchen Helen: So how was your Day? Daria: Same as every other day. Helen: What about you Jane? Jane: Hmm. Helen: Well that's good your father and I talked to the insurance people and everything seems to be going well. But we have to have dinner with some clients tomorrow. Jane: Yeah I'm going out with Tom tomorrow, we're going to the drive-in. Jake: What about you Daria? Daria: I'll just be here watching TV. Jane: (Smirking.) Well if you want maybe you and Trent can come along with us. Daria: What do you mean? Jane: I did say we should double up last time. Trent: I don't know Janie, it sounds a little weird. Jane: What's so weird about four friends going to a movie? Trent: Okay I'll go then it beats doing nothing. Jane: Daria? Daria: I guess so. Jane: Good, now it's settled I'll call Tom later. Helen: (Curious.) Why are you going to the drive-in? Jane: I hate sitting next to strangers. Jake: (Uncomfortable.) But aren't drive-ins where people you know? Daria: You know what dad? Helen: Daria! Quinn: This is getting gross, I've gotta go call Sandi. CUT TO INT. Lane Residence, Summer's Room (Split screen between Quinn and Sandi.) Quinn: Sandi I've got an idea how to make up to you for that incident earlier on. Sandi: That is. Quinn: A party, I've got the house to myself tomorrow night and what better way to make up to you for those stupid cats then to throw a party. Sandi: But Tiffany already had a party Saturday night. Quinn: So there's always room for more. Sandi: I guess so, but you're organizing this. Quinn: Of course Sandi, but would you at least come shopping with me? Sandi: Okay, but only to buy a new outfit at Cashman's. Quinn: Thanks Sandi, you're the greatest. Sandi: I know. Quinn: Okay well I've got to go. CUT TO Thursday. INT. Mr. DeMartino's class Mr. DeMartino: So I WANT you all to write a TEN-PAGE essay on the great DEPRESSION, which I expect to be TYPED in a small font KEVIN and handed in on my desk next MONDAY. Daria: (Raising her hand.) My computer's gone. It got stolen. Mr. DeMartino: Well I'm SORRY to hear that BUT I expect it to be done by Monday or you FAIL. If you have to you can borrow the school's COMpuTERS. Brittany: If you want you can come to my house and borrow my computer. Daria: I don't think that's necessary, I can just use Jane's. Brittany: Okay, by the way I'm sorry you got robbed. Daria: (Touched.) Well um thanks Brittany. Jane: Daria are you okay? Daria: Yeah just a little surprised. That's all. Jane: So you're still on for tonight? Daria: Well I already said yes so I guess so. Jane: Cool. CUT TO. INT: Ms. Barch's class. Quinn: (Whispering to Stacy.) I'm having a party tonight can you let everyone know and come shopping for supplies with me? Stacy: Sure Quinn, I'll do anything to help. Ms Barch: Girls would you care to share with the rest of the class your little secret. Stacy: (Blurting out.) Quinn's having a party and everyone's invited. Class: Wahoo! Quinn: STACY! Stacy: But you said to let everyone know. Quinn: But now anyone will turn up even the unpopular. (Shudders.) Stacy: Eep! Quinn: (Exasperated.) Why did I let myself into this? Ms. Barch: I see but don't you think inviting *everyone* is a big mistake? Surely you'll have more fun with just the girls as all those *damn* males want to do is gate crash and score. Jamie: Yeah! Quinn: Jamie! Ms. Barch: Jamie, that's it you worthless piece of male scum you've got after school detention for the rest of the week. Jamie: But . . . Ms. Barch: You're always filled with excuses just like *He* was so make that 2 weeks. CUT TO. INT. Cashman's Department Store, junior 5. Tiffany: (Holding a dress up to herself against a mirror.) Does this make me look fat? Sandi: No, it makes you look even slimmer. Tiffany: (Unsure.) You think so? Stacy: Definitely, you should buy it. Quinn: Uh guys, can we keep this quick? I've still got to buy some party supplies before the mall closes and everyone turns up. Sandi: Gee Quinn, if you don't care how *your* best friends look maybe you should go ahead. Quinn: No I didn't mean that Sandi, what I meant is would it be okay if we buy the supplies first then our outfits? Sandi: Very well but if that skirt's not here when I get back. Quinn: I know, I know I get the picture. CUT TO. INT. Tom's Car Tom: I'm glad you two decided to come. Jane: Yeah that way if we get bored, we'll have someone to talk to. Daria: I didn't think you'd be able to talk. Jane: You'll see Daria. Tom: Well we're here now so who's, going to sit where? Daria: I'll sit in the front with Jane. Jane: Are *you* sure? Daria: Yes Jane, I'm sure. Tom: Then that leaves Trent and me in the back. (Daria and Tom hop out of the car and switch places.) Jane: Doesn't that car up ahead look familiar? Daria: Which one? Jane: That one. (Pointing to a blue car directly in front.) Daria: You mean the one with those two people making out? Jane: Yeah, Oh my God it's . . . AAGGHHHH! The camera pans in to the car ahead and we see that it's no other than Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill. Suddenly Mr. O'Neill turns to the car behind them and Sees Daria and Jane screaming. His face goes pale. CUT TO. INT. Mr. O'Neill's car Mr. O'Neill: (Scared.) Janet, you've got to stop this now. Ms. Barch: What's wrong skinny? I'm only getting started. Mr. O'Neill: I mean behind us. Ms. Barch: Are some stupid males trying to ruin our evening? Mr. O'Neill: No worse. Ms. Barch: Huh? Mr. O'Neill: It's Daria and Jane. Ms. Barch: Oh my God! Let's get out of here. (With that Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill get back in the front and leave.) CUT TO. INT. Tom's car Daria: Did we just see that? Jane: Worse. Daria: I don't feel like hanging around any longer. I feel like I'm going to be sick. Jane: Same here, Tom can we go home now I've lost interest in the movie. Tom: Yeah, I was going to say that myself. Trent: Would that be all right if we got a bite to eat first? I'm kinda hungry. Daria: I second that. Tom: Okay, how about we stop of at the Pizza King. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Living Room. Stacy: You're a genius Quinn, This party rocks! Quinn: Thanks Stacy, I just hope everyone else feels the same way. Stacy: Oh they do Quinn. (Joey, Jeffy and Jamie all appear.) Joey: Quinn, I heard the make out room is free, do you want to go check it out. Jeffy: No Quinn, you should come with me. Jamie: No, Quinn should come with me. Quinn: Guys I can't go with any of you I'm the hostess it's my job to keep an eye on everyone. Jeffy: So what should we do? Quinn: Well it would be nice if you all would hang around afterwards and help me clean up before everyone gets back. Joey: Sure Quinn. Jamie: I'd do anything for you Quinn. Quinn: Thanks Guys. Jamie: See I told you Quinn likes me. Joey: No she doesn't, she likes me! Jeffy: Will you two shut up, it's obvious Quinn likes me. Jamie: Why you little . . . (With that all three J's are wrestling each other to the floor.) Quinn: Guys *stop* it you're making the house even messier! (All three Js immediately stop fighting and pull themselves together.) Jamie: I'm sorry Quinn. Joey and Jeffy: Yeah, we're sorry too. Quinn: Good. (Everything seems to be fine for a while till everyone hears the door open. They all stare to see who it is. It's Daria, Jane, Trent and Tom.) Jane: QUINN! What the hell have you done to my house? Sandi: Like chill out, just have a drink and chill out. Everyone: Yeah, We're trying to have a party. Jane: Not in my Freaking house! Quinn: Jane, You don't understand I had no choice but to throw a party. Jane: I'm sure as hell I don't! Now will everyone get the hell out of here before I call the cops and let them do it? Sandi: Quinn, You said you were *going* to throw a party. Jane: Well this isn't her damn house Sandi! A voice from behind: This party sucks, I'm outta here. Another voice: Yeah me to. (With that everyone begins to file out.) Quinn: I'm really sorry Jane, I didn't mean for you to walk in on this. Jane: I bet you didn't instead you'd plan to get everyone out of here by midnight. Tom: Come on Jane I'll walk you upstairs, you need to cool down. Quinn: (With a pleading look in her eyes.) Daria? Daria: Don't talk to me Quinn. (Daria, Jane, Tom and Trent leave Quinn to go upstairs.) CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Trent's Room (Kevin and Brittany are making out on Trent's bed.) Kevin: (Spotting Trent.) Will you get out of here? You sick pervert. Trent: This is my room, so how about you and you're girlfriend leave. Kevin: Oh we're sorry we didn't know. Come on Babe, we better get out of here. Brittany: Yeah, I can't hear anymore music I think everyone's gone. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence, Jane's Room (Upchuck is standing besides Jane's easel.) Upchuck: Finally my two favorite luscious ladies have arrived. Daria: Upchuck what are you doing here? Upchuck: Well this *is* a party and I can't think of any other way then to spend it with my two favorite ladies. Jane: Wrong, this was a party and if you're not out of here in 10 seconds Tom will beat you up. Upchuck: Okay, Okay, I'm going but it'll be your loss. Daria: No it's our gain. Upchuck: Grr Feisty! CUT TO. INT. Lane residence Living Room Helen: (Arriving home with Jake.) Quinn, what the hell happened? Quinn: I threw a party. Jake: You what! This isn't even your house. Quinn: I know, I Know. Helen: What did Jane say? Quinn: She practically tried to bite my head of. Jake: I can see why. Quinn: But none of you know the pressure I was under. Helen: Well you don't know how long you're grounded. Quinn: Fine, I don't care because I hate it here, it's awful! Jake: Jane and Trent have gone out of their ways to let us stay with them and this is how you repay them? Quinn: Okay, I'm sorry but I want to go home. I can't stand Jane and Trent they're weird. Helen: Sorry isn't good enough. I want you now to go upstairs and stay in Summer's room for the rest of the evening. Trent: (Approaching Helen and Jake.) So I take it Quinn's in trouble. Jake: More then she ever knows, listen I'm sorry about Quinn we really don't know what's gotten into her. We understand if you want us to leave. Trent: Nah I'm okay with it. It's Janey I'm worried about she's gotten really worked up over it. Helen: You can tell her we'll replace anything that got wrecked and if she wants us to we can check in at a hotel. Trent: Thanks. (Daria, Jane and Tom appear.) Tom: Well I'd better get going. Jane: Thanks for hanging around. Tom: That's okay, I had nothing better to do. Jane: Come on I'll go walk you out. Helen: Jake and I better get to sleep now we've got to get up for work tomorrow. (With that all four of them leave so it's just Daria and Trent.) Trent: This has been one weird evening. Daria: You can say that again. Trent: So do you think any good came out this? Daria: No, Quinn and Jane have become the worst of enemies and if I do say so myself they get along worse than Quinn and me. Trent: Yeah. (Begins his throaty laugh.) Daria: It looks like our families will never get along. Trent: Imagine all the trouble if my folks, Penny, Wind and Summer all turned up. Daria: We're just lucky they're all not related. Trent: That'd be a problem. (Begins coughing.) Daria: So are you saying you wouldn't want to be related to me? Trent: (Blushing.) Uh what I mean is that we'd have lots of problems if we were. Daria: Yeah, we are better off not related to each other. Trent: (Depressed.) Anyway it's not like it's a possibility. Daria: (Equally depressed.) You got that right. Trent: Unless Wind decides to marry that sister of yours. Daria: Is he rich? Trent: No. Daria: Then it'll never happen. Trent: So do you want to go out and check on Janie. Daria: Yeah, she's in a pretty bad mood. Trent: Don't worry it'll pass of. CUT TO. EXT. Lane Residence. (Daria and Trent walk out just to see Tom drive away.) Daria: Are you okay? Jane: Yeah, I guess so. Trent: Daria's parents wanted to know if you wanted them to leave. Jane: No it's okay they can stay, besides it'll only be few more days. Daria: Thanks and there's no need to worry about Quinn my parents are really angry with her so I doubt she'll do *anything* to step out of line. Jane: We'll see about that. CUT TO. INT. Lane Residence Summer's Room. (Split screen between Quinn and Stacy.) Quinn: So now I'm grounded. Stacy: I'm so sorry I wish you could come stay with me. Quinn: Same here, but at this rate I'll be lucky to leave the house. Stacy: How about you come over and do homework with me tomorrow after school? Quinn: Homework? Stacy: (Nervous.) Yeah, well um my parents said I have to pull up my grades and I uh really want to get into a good college. Quinn: Don't worry I know what you mean my mom's always nagging about my grades and how I've got to get into college. Stacy: So do you want to come over? Quinn: Yeah I would but don't tell Sandi. Stacy: Cool and I won't tell Sandi. See you tomorrow. Quinn: Yeah bye Stacy. (End Split Screen.) Quinn: Daria! What are you doing here? Daria: I wanted to talk to you about tonight. Quinn: Not another lecture I already got one from mom and dad. Anyway I thought you weren't talking to me. Daria: This isn't a lecture I just want to ask you some stuff. Quinn: Okay then but make it quick I've got to get some sleep. Daria: Why'd you do this? Really I want the truth. Quinn: Sandi was really mad at me and I wanted to get back in her good books and she told me I owed her. Daria: Then why didn't you do something else like buy her a new outfit? Quinn: Daria, you just don't understand no matter how much I do Sandi's always trying get me. Ever since Brooke got that nose job she's been trying to get me. Daria: Then why do you hang out with her? Quinn: Don't get me wrong I do like her it's just that she sees me as a threat. Daria: What about Tiffany and Stacy? Quinn: Tiffany's like Sandi she doesn't care about me much but Stacy's like my best friend she's always been there for me. In fact I'm going to her house tomorrow. Daria: But aren't you grounded? Quinn: Yeah, but mom and dad won't be home to check on me and um Daria will you tell Jane I'm really sorry. Daria: You can do it yourself she's only down the hall. Quinn: But I don't think she wants to talk to me. Daria: I know your sorry and all but I'm not getting into this Jane's my best friend and I'm not going to let *anything* come between us so you're on your own. (With that Daria leaves.) CUT TO Friday. INT. Lawndale High Cafeteria Quinn: I'm sorry about last night I didn't expect them to come home so soon. Sandi: I don't know but I'll let it slip. Quinn: Thanks Sandi. Tiffany: Who were those guys that were with them? Quinn: One of them is Trent, Jane's brother and the other is Tom her boyfriend. Sandi: You mean that girl actually has a boyfriend? Quinn: Yeah, from what Daria said they've been going out for months. Tiffany: Who's Daria? Quinn: My cousin you know that girl with the glasses. Tiffany: Oh that one she really needs a makeover. CUT TO. INT. Lawndale High Mr. O'Neill's class Mr. O'Neill: So you see Romeo and Juliet really were in love. Does anyone know of anyone that shares a love like that or any other couple from a famous piece of literature? Brittany: (Raising her hand.) Kevin and I do. I'd know he'd do anything for me even die for me. (Sigh.) Kevin: Babe, no way am I going to die I'm happy the way I am. Brittany: Kevin! How could you I thought you'd do anything for me? Kevin: Hey I would babe you know I would but I'd never go that far. Mr. O'Neill: Well um thanks Brittany is there anyone else who can think of a couple. (No one raises their hands; it seems they're not paying attention. The camera pans across the room to see what everyone's doing. Jodie's reading, Mack's catching up on some work and Jane and Daria are passing drawings of O'Neill as various creatures.) Mr. O'Neill: Jane, how about you I haven't heard from you all day. Jane: (Smirking.) Well last night while I was at the drive-in... Mr. O'Neill: (Uncomfortable and cutting Jane of.) Actually I think we should just move on with the assignment. CUT TO. EXT: The Rowe Residence INT. Stacy's room (Stacy and Quinn are sprawled out on Stacy's floor doing some science homework.) Stacy: I'm glad you came over tonight you've been a really big help. I didn't know you were that smart. Quinn: I don't like to let people know it's kind of embarrassing you know after that essay and all. Stacy: Oh that's okay I won't tell anyone. Quinn: Thanks, Um could I tell you something? It's kind of private. Stacy: Sure Quinn you're my best friend I'd never share your secrets. Quinn: Thanks. (Beat.) You see that girl with glasses Daria you know the one that lives with me isn't really my cousin. Stacy: She isn't? Quinn: No, she's my (beat) sister. Stacy: But why did you lie, why didn't you just tell everyone that way you wouldn't have to cover it up. Quinn: You know Sandi she's out to get me if she ever found out she'd kick me out of the Fashion club just like that. (Clicking her fingers.) Stacy: Yeah, I see what you mean but to tell you the truth I think you should be president you're much, more fair and I don't have a problem with Daria. She's just different. Quinn: Thanks, well I'd better get going I've got to get back before my parents do. CUT TO. INT: Lane Residence, Jane's Room Jane: So where's Quinn? Daria: At one of her friend's house. Jane: Boy is she going to get it when your parents get home. Daria: Well she's still got half an hour till dad gets back and knowing him he won't even notice she's gone and knowing mom she'll be at the office for hours. Jane: She really does get away with a lot. Daria: Yeah, so are you still angry with her. Jane: No, I just like having her scared of me. (Smirk.) Daria: Damn you, I've been trying for years and you do it in a couple of days. Jane: What can I say it's a gift. Daria: So what about the other thing that happened last night I saw you gave Mr. O'Neill a huge fright. Jane: Now *that* was awful I don't even want to think about that one. Daria: Yeah it just shows how much a hypocrite Ms. Barch is. Jane: What do you expect she's a teacher, they're not to be trusted. Daria: You got that right. Quinn: (Walking in.) Hi Daria, Hi Jane. Jane: (Skeptical.) What brings *you* here. Quinn: Listen I know you're mad at me and all but I'm really sorry I didn't mean to do this and I swear I won't do it again. Jane: (Skeptic.) I guess I can forgive you but it doesn't mean we're friends. Quinn: Of course not, why would I want to be friends with you? Jane: Hey. Quinn: Sorry, I don't mean it like that. (Walking away.) Daria: That was strange. Jane: What? You didn't expect me to forgive her? Daria: No, I mean Quinn rarely apologizes unless she's serious. Jane: Woah! I really was hard on her wasn't I? Daria: You could say that, but on the other hand you did have a valid reason. CUT TO. INT. Lane residence, lounge room (Helen is barging through the house with her briefcase in one hand and cell phone in the other.) Helen: Thank you officer, bye. (Turns phone off.) Jake! Jake: (looking up from paper.) Oh hi honey, I didn't know you were home. Helen: I've got great news. That was just the police and they said they caught the bandits at their warehouse with all our stuff. So hopefully tomorrow we can move back in and get our stuff back. Jake: Gee they really do work fast. Helen: Apparently, a house on the other side of town got robbed earlier on today and they managed to get a look at license plate while getting away. So using that it made it much easier for the police to track them down. Jake: Well this sounds like a reason a to celebrate how about we take everyone out to do dinner our treat. Helen: That's a good idea I'll go check on what everyone's doing tonight. Jake: You know what Helen I don't think that Trent fellow is all that bad. Helen: You are right considering he doesn't have a proper job and no real guardian figure to look up to he's done a good job with Jane. Jake: (Beat.) I actually admit I wouldn't mind seeing Daria and him hook up they'd make a cute couple. Helen: I doubt it. I think the only one who wants them together is Jane you saw how she tried to embarrass them in front of everyone. Jake: Then at least we can say one of our kids has a good set of friends. I still wonder about Quinn though as she did say she was under a lot of pressure earlier on. I think it comes from those friends of hers. Helen: Jake did you just say that? You have been paying attention! I didn't know you observed all of this. Jake: I guess this big mess really did let me see my ways. Through this awful event I managed to have some good come out of this. Quinn: (Entering the room.) Hi mom, Hi dad. Helen: Hi Sweetie I've got some great news. Quinn: You mean they found our stuff? Jake: Yeah and we're all going out to celebrate. Quinn: Cool, can we go to Chez Pierre? Jake: Quinn that place costs a fortune! Quinn: But dad I haven't been there in ages. Helen: Quinn, you were there Monday night. Quinn: No I wasn't I just said that cause Corey and I had gone to Lovers la. . . Helen: (Cutting in.) Quinn! You lied to us you were at that Lovers lane instead. Quinn: Now that you put it like that I think it'd be better if we go to the Pizza forest it really doesn't matter what we eat. Jake: But I thought you hated the singing animals. Quinn: Well I'm outta here. Helen: Jake, you really haven't changed have you? You're just as oblivious as before! Jake: What'd I do? Helen: (Angry.) Oh shut up! You're too late as usual you fool. Jake: (Just as angry.) Who do you think you're calling a fool? You annoying pain in the butt. Helen: Why you stupid. . . Daria: (Walking in with Jane.) See you thought your family had problems at least they get to spend most of the year apart or look what can happen to them. Jane: Actually that's already happened in my family. I just remembered I got a call from my brother Wind and it looks like he's of for another divorce. Turned out Katie threw the towel in. Daria: Well they always said nobody's perfect. CUT TO Saturday morning. EXT. Lane Residence. (The Morgendorffers are packing up to leave. Quinn, Helen and Jake are all in the car. Leaving Daria, Jane and Trent.) Daria: Well um thanks for taking us in, I hope we weren't that much of a burden. Jane: You could never be a burden but *Quinn* on the other hand. Trent: Yeah, feel free to stop by anytime you need. Jane: Just try and warn us in advance if you ever decide to bring the family back. Daria: I'll do my best (beat) so it never happens again. Trent: Cool, I've actually enjoyed your stay your family sure know how to liven things up. Daria: Tell me about it in 4 days more stuff has happened then in 2 years of hanging out at your place. (Beat.) Yeah it has been fun and to tell you the truth you two have been great friends. Jane: Uh Daria you just said fun. Daria: (Blushing.) I mean interesting. (Jake honks horn.) Daria: Well I better get going, bye. Jane and Trent: (Waving as the Morgendorffers drive off.) See ya Daria. (Just as Jane and Trent are about to go back inside they hear a car pull up in the driveway. They turn around to see it's no other than Wind Lane.) Wind: Janie! Trent! You don't know how much I've missed you. (Running up to hug them.) Hey what's this? (Picking something up.) Jane: What's what? Wind: It's a photo of a girl. Trent: Lets see. (Looking at the photo.) That's Daria's sister. Jane: Trent it's Quinn and yeah it's my best friend's younger sister. Wind: (Gazing into the photo.) Cool, she's cute. The End (1) As mentioned in the Daria Diaries under Daria and Jane all time favorite Sick Sad World episodes. (2) Zachary and Taylor Lane are the Lane cats mentioned in the Daria Database. Aunt Amy: As you probably saw I had to make up some information on Aunt Amy as we still have very little on her. I decided to make it she lived in a house so that I could have Daria look at all the cars yet she could still easily live an apartment. The reason I moved Amy away was really just a diversion to get the Morgendorffers out of the house. As the location of Lawndale has never been revealed I made New York, Northeast that way it could be from anywhere. Daria and Trent: I guess after reading the first act some of you thought I'd make this into a shipper fic with Daria and Trent hooking up. Yet I'm not like that actually I'm an anti-shipper so I'd never write them together unless it happened on the show. Sorry. The idea of getting robbed: Okay, to be honest here I myself have never been robbed but I needed an excuse to have Daria and Trent together for the majority of the story, Anyway if it worked in LM why can't I try it? Spelling, punctuation and grammar: Yes, I did use spell check and the Daria Diaries and Daria database for spelling. As I mentioned earlier I'm not American yet I decided using American spelling would be best. As I made up the commercials and have never seen American TV commercials I couldn't make up wording, but the why would I want to bore you more? Is anyone still reading? I doubt it but if you are thanks I hope I didn't disappoint you all *too* much. If I did sorry but I'm not even 15 and as you probably picked up English isn't my best subject. Yeah, I know that isn't good enough but I can't help it. I'll *try* to do better next time. Special thanks to Mona Nobles, for beta reading this fic for me. Okay if you want to send me any comments, criticisms or advice send them to hello_kitty_2000_@hotmail.com you can address them to Hello Kitty. I welcome the good, the bad, the ugly actually I take the ugly back I don't want any hate mail. Hello Kitty :)