Old Enemies

Section: Series

Plot: Takes place a month after "Live The Movies". Evil Chris has rounded up a bunch of Chris's enemies from other stories plus one new one to come and destroy Lawndale.

It is a Friday in Mr. O' Neill's class. Chris is trying to stay awake and Daria and Jane are thinking how nice it would be to be sleeping right now.

O' Neill: So class I want you to write a paper how life in Lawndale is so much fun.

The bell rings and Chris wakes up and follows Daria and Jane out of the class.

Daria: I wonder if he minds if we change the subject a little?

Jane: Hmmmm I wonder.

Chris: Tell me what he was saying I was sleeping back there.

Daria (grinning): He wants us to write a story about how much Lawndale sucks.

Chris: Oh yea.

Cut to: lunch.

Chris: Man I wish something exciting would happen around here.

Brittany: Oh my god a meteor just crashed through the gym.

All the kids rush out except Daria, Jane, and Chris. They all remove their earplugs.

Daria: Same Old Same Old.

Chris: So what should we do tonight?

Jane: Where did all the kids go?

Chris: I think something about a meteor through the gym roof.

Daria: Want to check it out?

Chris: Lets go.

The 3 got up and started walking toward the gym.

Cut To: Hell.

We find Evil Chris in on his throne pondering something evil. Suddenly Ryan, Vampire Beavis and Butt-Head, Demons, Zombies, F.L.V, and this one shadowy figure burst in his throne room.

Evil Chris: What the hell, are you people doing here and who's that shadowy character?

Ryan: I think if you saw him you'd know him. Step out Dark one.

The shadowy figure steps out and he has curly red hair, blue jeans (like good Chris), and a black shirt.

Evil Chris: You!

Dark one: Yes Chris it's me.

E.Chris: Greg, I thought I banished you.

Greg: Ryan helped me get back.

Evil Chris: You still didn't tell me why you guys are here.

F.L.V: We want to go back to Earth.

Beavis: Yea it totally sucks down here.

E.C: How do you all suppose we get out of here?

Ryan: I can open a portal to Earth.

Evil Chris: You tell me this now!

Ryan: Yes.

Greg: Now lets go destroy the Earth or expand Hell.

Cut To: Daria's house.

Chris and Quinn are watching Sick Sad World.

TV: Is you're your guardian angel trying to get in your pants. Get harassed by an angel. Next, on Sick Sad World.

Chris: Quinn didn't...

Quinn: Shut Up, Chris.

Daria (walking down the stairs): Yea Quinn what ever happened to your guardian angel?

Quinn: Shut up Daria.

Chris: What's today?

Daria: Tuesday.

Chris: What day of the month?

Daria: July 23rd why?

Chris: Kung Pow came out today. I need a car.

Daria: Can't you run?

Chris: Oh yea.

Cut To: Chris's house.

Chris is in bed asleep.

Cut To: Chris's Dream.

Chris is just walking around when a he hears a voice.

Voice: The Apocalypse is coming.

Chris: What?

Voice: Lawndale is in danger.

Chris: Don't care.

Voice: More on these stories are to come.


Chris bolts up awake.

Chris: What a horrible dream.

Cut To: The next day at Daria's house.

Chris is talking to Quinn.

Chris: I had a bad dream last night.

Quinn: What happened?

Chris: Something about Lawndale being doomed and more of these stories.

Quinn: Wow that was a bad dream. Anyway Chris, do you want to sleep over tonight?

Chris: Sure.

Cut To: That night.

Chris and Quinn are still talking when the doorbell rings. Quinn answers it. The Fashion Club has shown up.

Chris: They are here why?

Quinn: I invited them over.

Sandi: Gee Quinn, when you asked if we wanted to sleep over you never mentioned him.

Chris: Nice to see you too, Sandi.

Sandi: Don't talk to me.

Chris: Quinn, I just remembered I have to go turn off my microwave. I'll be back.

Chris walks out Quinn's door and heads to his house. Chris is about to open his door when he hears a noise in the backyard. Chris grabs a pistol from under his doormat and heads toward the back. Chris gets in the back and finds nothing there. Then he sees a dark shadow jump from tree to tree. Chris jumps up in the tree and spots the thing still on the move.

Chris: I see what I'm fighting isn't human. Well, bring it.

Cut To: Quinn's room.

The Fashion Club is giving each other makeovers when Chris crashes through the window. All the girls scream and run out of the room expect for Quinn who is by Chris.

Quinn: Chris, are you ok?

Chris: I'm (cough) fine.

Quinn: What happened?

Chris: I only saw the hair of the thing but I could tell who it was.

Quinn: Who?

Chris: I have a relative I haven't told you about. His name is Greg he was a friend until he betrayed me.

Daria walks in.

Daria: What happened someone find... Chris what the hell happened to you?

Chris:(Coughs up blood.)

Quinn: I guess we have to train.

Daria: Damn straight I'll call Jane.

Quinn: I'll go get a Rolling Stones CD.

The 2 girls leave the room.

Chris: Can someone get me a aspirin?

Chris just lays there when Alan swoops in from the window.

Greg: Good looking girlfriend you have Chris. Well after I kill you I'll go out with her.

Chris tries to get up but he can't. Greg kicks him in the face. Greg brings up his foot to put through Chris's heart when "Paint It Black comes from the other room. Chris bolts up and does a spinning kick to Greg. Alan flies into a wall. Chris picks him up and punches him out the window. Chris looks out the window and Greg is gone. Quinn and Daria rush back in.

Quinn: I heard crashing are you ok?

Chris: I'm fine. My old friend is back and he's pretty damn strong.

Just then a note flies into the room. Chris picks it up and reads it.

Note: If you think Greg is the only one you'll be fighting you're in for a rude awakening.

Chris: Damn.

Daria: What's wrong?

Chris: Looks like my evil twin has some new tricks up his sleeve. When is Jane getting here we don't have much time?

Jane (walking in the door): She's already here.

Chris: Good lets go to my house.

So the 4 go to Chris's house and they find two shadowy figures sitting on the couch.

Chris: Who are you assholes?

Voice (walking out of the shadows): Shit Chris, you don't know Jay and Silent Bob.

Chris: How are you guys alive? Freddy killed you both.

Jay: Well, God saw the trouble you guys were in so he sent us down to help.

Daria: God helped me once with Evil Chris when we first had to fight him when he was Satan.

Jay: He never helped you.

Chris: Well, uh... Daria, actually I did that.

Daria: WHAT! But the glowing light.

Chris: Flashlight.

Daria: Damn you.

Chris: Anyway we have to start training.

So the training begins and 8 days later they all emerge from the training area. Quinn, Chris, Daria, Jane, Jay, and Silent Bob walk out of the house are somehow instantly transported to the a big empty warehouse. The 6 heroes look around when Evil Chris steps out from behind a crate.

Evil Chris: Welcome to the end of your lives.

Chris: So the ass bastard is back for more.

E.Chris: You should say ass bastards.

Jay: What the fuck are you babbling about?

Evil Chris snaps his fingers and Greg, Ryan, Beavis, Butt-Head, F.L.V, 5 demons, and 6 Zombies surround our heroes.

Chris: Oh shit.

Chris quickly looks around for something helpful. He spots a box of Samurai swords.

Chris: Isn't that convenient.

Chris rips open the box and hands a sword to each of his teammates.

Chris: With the Demons and Zombies slice off their heads.

Evil Chris sends the Demons and Zombies at them and is quickly destroyed.

Chris: Ok everyone fights whom he or she wants but I'm fighting my twin.

Daria goes after Beavis and Butt-Head, Jay and Silent Bob go after F.L.V, Jane decides Ryan, and Quinn goes after Alan. The fight begins.

Beavis and Butt-Head: Diarrhea cha cha cha Diarrhea cha cha cha.

Daria: Shut the fuck up with that.

Daria runs at Butt-Head and slices his head right off. Beavis jump kicks the sword out of her hands. Daria punches Beavis in the face.

Beavis: Ow you bunghole.

Daria knees Beavis into the box of swords which he is impaled on.

Cut To: Jay, Silent Bob, and F.L.V.

Jay is pounding F.L.V and Silent Bob is watching. Jay throws F.L.V to Silent Bob and he uses his "Angel Be Gone" special and smashes F.L.V's face right in.

Jay: That was some cool shit Silent Bob.

Silent Bob nods. Then Jane flies into the ground right next to them.

Jay: Holy Shit Silent Bob, did you see that?

Silent Bob nods and then gets kicked in the head by Ryan.

Ryan: One stoner and one bitch down.

Jay: You just pissed me off.

Jay and Ryan start fighting Ryan puts Jay through the ground.

Cut To: Chris and Evil Chris.

They are both in their normal state fighting. It seems Chris is winning. Chris is about to destroy Evil Chris when, Chris is grabbed from behind by Ryan. Evil Chris now proceeds to kick the crap out of Chris. Ryan throws Chris to the ground.

Evil Chris: Now watch your girlfriend's demise.

Chris (weakly): Hurt her you're all dead.

Evil Chris: Ryan, although Greg doesn't need it go help him.

Ryan: Sure.

Ryan walks over to Greg and Quinn but Daria runs at Ryan and slices off one of his arms. He uses the other arm to knock Daria out. He now gets to Quinn and Greg. Alan seems to be losing until Ryan elbows Quinn from behind. The 2 guys start throwing her around. They throw her by some boxes that say "CD players" and "Paint It Black singles". Quinn crawls towards the boxes but Evil Chris sees this and destroys them.

Quinn: Noooooooooooooooooo.

Greg picks her up. He pulls a knife out of his pocket and stabs Quinn and then throws her to the ground.

Ryan: I'll go take care of Chris.

Greg and Evil Chris starting talking when Ryan's head hits the wall next to them. They turn to see Chris in his normal form but he is glazed red. Evil Chris runs at him but Chris rips him in half by his bottom jaw. Chris turns to Greg.

Chris: Now you will pay.

Chris runs at Greg checks him through a wall. Greg tires to get up but Chris kicks him into a metal pole. Chris's arm becomes muscular he goes for the final punch but Greg rolls out of the way and jumps at Chris but Chris turns around and shoots a fireball at Greg which hits and destroys him. Chris runs to Quinn. Chris puts his hands on her stomach and revives her. Quinn gets up and hugs Chris. Chris turns to see Jay, Silent Bob, Daria, and Jane are fine enough to walk. Chris powers down and faints so Quinn picks him up and throws him over her shoulders. They all leave the warehouse, which they left some TNT in there and lit it. As they are walking the warehouse explodes.

The End.