( Open Sequence Followed by): Daria In.... Hey, Hey, It's A Cliché A.K.A The worst fanfic Ever By Patrick Leland(Isuckatlax@aol.com) Note: This is not a serious fanfic its my satire of every fanfic Cliché and common joke I can think of Act 1: Int. Daria's Room Quinn:(Off-screen) Oh my God Daria's my cousin and I like clothes. (Phone rings) (Cut to: Split Screen Daria and Jane) Jane: Hey Daria Who Loves Trent, YOU LOVE TRENT NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH. Daria: Be Quiet or I will Inflict Physical Damage on You Jane: So Mystik Spiral is having a gig at the Zen do you want to come? Daria:Ok (Trent's Car Pulls Up) Trent: Hey Daria, Daria:(Blushes) Hi Trent (Trent falls asleep) (Cut to: The Zen, Mystik Spiral is Playing behind my Eyelids) (Cut to: Daria and Jane) Daria:(Spots Monique) Oh Man I HATE HER1 Jane:You Love Trent (Cut To: Monique and Trent) Monique: I Love you Trent (Monique starts humping Trent's Leg) Trent: But I love Daria, I just cant tell her (Cut To bar: Daria and Trent) Trent: Hey Daria, want a beer Daria:No Thanks Trent: You would look Hot with a beer (Daria Starts Drinking Wildly, chugging beer after beer) Act Two (Cut to: Trent's Room, Close up on Trent's Bed, You see Trent and Daria asleep) Daria:(Waking Up) Ahhhh, what have we done Trent:(Also waking)Daria, calm down. I know this seems like a mistake now but I Love you and I think you love me too. Daria: I Do Trent I Really do Trent: Woo-Hoo (Jane Enters) Jane: Hey Guys Have fun? Daria: Oh My God, Jane!!!!!! Jane: Don't Worry Im Glad (Daria Climbs Out Trent's Bed, Falls and stubs her toe) Trent: Oh My God Daria!!!!!!! Jane: We Have to get her to a hospital (Cut To: Lawndale Hospital, Daria is an a stretcher with her foot elevated being rushed to the emergency room) (Cut to: Waiting Room, Morgendorfers and Lanes + Jesse) Dr: Phillips2: People, It doesn't look good, Daria is in a coma, we don't know when she will come out or if she will at all) Quinn:(Crying) Daria!!! Dr. Phillips: I think she is ready for Visitors, family only hospital policy sorry, (Signalling to the Morgendorfers) Right this way. Helen:(Seeing Daria) Oh My God, My Baby Jake:(Reading the Paper) Ha Ha am I clueless Quinn: Mom, Dad, Can I Have a moment alone with Daria Helen: Sure, Honey Quinn:(Kneeling by Daria's Bed) Daria, I'm Sorry for all the times I called you my cousin(Sob, Sob). If you ever come out of this coma I sware ill Change. No More fashion club or clothes or boys. Ill get straight and dedicate my life to poor and less fashionable, I mean fortunate (Cut to: Waiting room, Jane and Jesse present) Jane:(Crying) She's best friend, If she doesn't come out who will I have? Jesse: Me, I love you, Jane Jane: I love you too, Jesse (Enter Tom) Tom: Hey what about me? ( Jane and Jesse Kiss will Jane kicks Tom , sending him flying away) (Cut to: Hospital bed, Daria wakes up and enters waiting room) (Cut To: Waiting Room) Daria: Hey Guys Everyone: DARIA YOUR OK!!! Daria: I love you, Trent Trent: I Love you too Jesse: I Love You, Jane Jane: I Love you, Jesse THE END 1. I know this might not be considered a Cliché, I think it was started by Diane Long, Whose work I Love BTW, But I've been seeing it more and more lately so I thought I'd Lampoon It. Author's Notes: Hey, I'm Back. Anybody miss me? Ok, Well anyways. This story took me appoximently an hour. Something in the recent essay by the Paperpusher drove me to write this. I did it for me, this fanfic was enormously fun for me, and if nobody else finds it funny well at least I had fun with it and laughed a bit. So if you do send me an email when you get the time. This Fanfic is dedicated to The Paperpusher for his inspiration. Daria and Friends Copyright 2000 By MTV, a division of Viacom, Inc. This Fan fiction is Copyright 2000 By Pat Leland and I'm covered by some kind of court descion so I don't think you can sue, but please don't try I'm poor anyways