Daria sat in her room, flicking through a novel. Her mind wasn’t really on it, though. She was thinking about what had happened at school that day, with that stupid Jericho girl and her stupid talk show. Jane had seemed a little put out for some reason, and Daria couldn’t figure out why.

It had seemed to start with the mention of Tom. Maybe she was still annoyed about...that whole business.

No. Daria shook her head. That wasn’t possible. If Jane had had a problem with that, she would have mentioned something about it first. And Jane certainly wouldn’t have encouraged Daria to date him. Twice, in fact. That seemed to make the matter very clear to Daria.

Daria set the book down, and thought about that. Had she done the right thing by getting back together with Tom? The first time they had broken up, she hadn’t exactly been cut-up about it. But she had gotten back together with him. Why?

Then recently, she’d gotten upset when he’d forgotten their anniversary, even though that was so unlike her. Maybe she’d gotten upset because she had just thought that that was something couples did, and she had just thought Tom should just have show the effort.

Daria sighed and picked up her book again. As usual, her inner monologue had gone amazingly off-topic. She had a habit of doing this when she was alone. It was a very bad habit.

That was why she enjoyed being with Jane so much. When she was with Jane, she tended not to over-analyze things so much.

Deep down, it did seem odd that she was thinking about enjoying time with Jane more than with her boyfriend, but she dismissed those thoughts, and went back to reading.

Jane sat at home, and wondered why she was feeling the way she was feeling. Nothing had happened, not really. But she was feeling pretty bad inside, and she didn’t know why. That bothered her. It had started with that stupid Lion Tales TV show that she and Daria had appeared on. It had started as a stupid prank, to upstage that annoying Jericho girl, but it hadn’t quite gone that way.

Jane knew the prom was coming up. She had thought that she and Daria had an agreement, that they were going to ignore the whole stupid affair, and spend the night at her house, doing what they always did.

Then Daria went and made that seemingly innocuous comment (on camera, no less) that she was thinking of going after all. Jane had thought she was joking, but some careful examination after the event revealed that, yes, Daria had indeed been entertaining the notion of going, with her boyfriend.

Jane had been a little surprised, to say the least. Daria had said that Tom had been gradually trying to convince her to go, and to go to Fielding’s prom as well. The Fielding part, Jane sensed, was Mrs. Sloane. It wouldn’t do for her son not to be at his own senior prom. That bit Jane understood. She just didn’t understand why Daria was considering attending Lawndale’s prom. Daria knew Jane wasn’t going.

Although, on some level, Jane knew where she was coming from. If you had asked her a year ago, she probably would have done the same thing. But that had been before that whole messy business over the summer. Surely, after all that, Daria wouldn’t blow her best friend off for a prom, would she?

Jane sighed, and lay back on her bed. Wasn’t she being a bit needy and pathetic over this? She was having a funk because a friend wanted to go to the prom with her boyfriend. Like that was such a huge betrayal.

At the thought of betrayal, all sorts of nasty thoughts ran through Jane’s mind, and she tried very hard to suppress them. That was over. It was a closed chapter in their lives. No point in obsessing over it now.

Jane pulled herself up. The only reason she was doing this was because she was by herself. She always got really introspective when she was alone. It was a trait she shared with Daria.

Jane hopped off the bed, and walked towards Trent’s room, hoping that he was there. He was, in his usual state of hibernation. She shook his arm.

“Hey, Trent?”

“Mm?”

“You awake?”

“Mm.”

“Was that a yes or a no?”

“Mm.”

Jane shook his arm a bit more violently. “Trent?”

Trent stirred, and rolled over onto his back. “Wha...?”

“Never mind,” muttered Jane, walking back into her room. She should have known better than to have tried to talk to Trent when he was in that state. He probably couldn’t help her much anyway. She was making a big fuss over nothing (as usual)...

Except that the last time this had happened, she’d been right, hadn’t she?

Jane sighed. What she wouldn’t give to be a little less introspective at times. She bet that Brittany never had this problem. She pulled off her clothes and sank into bed, trusting that she was fretting over nothing.

Daria and Jane trudged down the road towards school in silence. Finally Jane spoke up. “Sorry, by the way.”

Daria frowned. “What for?”

“You know, for giving you such a hard time about the prom.”

“Oh,” said Daria, a little surprised. “I didn’t realize you had.”

“No, not really,” said Jane, sighing. “I mean, it was just a little bit of a surprise.”

“Oh.” Daria shrugged. “It’s not really a big deal, is it?”

“No...”
“I didn’t think so. I mean, Tom’s just keen to go for some odd reason. I thought he hated all that stuff. Especially the Fielding one.”

“Or he just isn’t hiding his real self very well.”

Daria frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jane kicked herself. “Nothing. Ignore me, I’m....tired, is all.”

“Oh.” Daria looked at her. “Everything okay?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“There isn’t anything wrong, I just said that.”

“I know, but...” Daria paused and looked at Jane. “Jane, is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Because, you know, you can tell me if it isn’t.”

“Everything’s fine, really,” said Jane awkwardly. “Let’s drop it, okay?”

Daria nodded, frowning a little. “Okay. We’ll drop it.”

The rest of the trip to school passed in an awkward silence.

Daria and Jane walked out of the school grounds, and began the walk back to Jane’s house. “Any plans for tonight?” said Jane.

Daria shrugged. “You know me, busy social calendar, and all that.”

“Room for me in there?”

“I could probably squeeze you in between the governor’s ball, and the photo shoot, if you like.”

Jane smiled slightly. She looked at Daria. “Daria, can I talk to you about something?”

Daria frowned. “Sure. Anything wrong?”

Jane shook her head. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. It’s more of a me thing, if you know what I mean.” She paused. “I mean, for the longest time...”

She was interrupted by a blaring car horn. An irritatingly familiar car horn. Jane and Daria glanced over. Sure enough, Tom was there in his latest junk heap.

“Thought I’d find you here,” he said, a grin on his face.

“You know us,” said Daria. “We hate to keep to keep to a boring routine.”

“Of course.” Tom glanced over at Jane. “Hi Jane.”

“Yo,” said Jane stiffly.

Tom turned to Daria. “Hey, got anything planned for tonight?”

“Not really,” she said glancing to Jane. “Was it important? What you had to talk about, I mean.”

Jane frowned at this. “Not really,” she said.

“There’s a Tarkovsky festival starting tonight,” added Tom. “Figured you might like to go.”

“Sure,” said Daria, shrugging her shoulders. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all,” said Jane uneasily.

Daria nodded, and got into the car, and her and Tom drove off, leaving Jane standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Jane shook her head. What was the matter with her? Of course she’d had something important to talk about. Couldn’t Daria see that?

Of course, it might have helped had Jane told herb how important this was. Then she might have stayed. Jane scowled and began walking home. She felt something was wrong, and she didn’t know what it was. She couldn’t put her finger on it, and it bothered her.

Was it Tom and Daria? After all, they had gotten together awfully quickly after...that incident. With Jane’s blessing, no less. Jane didn’t really know why she had done that. The words had just slipped right out, after her and Daria had made up. She’d regretted saying them for a while now, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.

Jane stuck her hands in her pockets and walked home, deep in thought.

“How was the daily grind?” said Tom.

“Oh, you know,” said Daria absent-mindedly.

“Fielding was same as usual. But you how private schools are. They thrive on inertia. It’s their raison d’etre.”

“Uh-huh,” said Daria, staring out of the window.

Tom frowned. “Daria, are you okay?”

Daria blinked and looked over to Tom. “Yeah, why?”

“My well-timed bon mots are going down like a lead balloon here.”

“Fine,” said Daria. “It’s just...” She waved her hand. “Nothing.”

Tom shrugged, and looked back to the road.

Daria resumed staring out of the window. She hoped Jane was okay. She had seemed a little off all day, and that wasn’t like her. Oh well, if there was something up, she’d tell her, right?

“Ready for six hours of cheerful foreign cinema?” said Tom.

“Oh yes,” said Daria. “There’s nothing more I love than watching people more miserable than myself.”

“You’re miserable?”

“No more than usual,” she said quickly. Tom looked at her funnily, and she wondered why she’d put that last part in. She dismissed the thought, and resolved to enjoy the evening

The next day, Daria was awakened by the sun streaming in through her windows. She walked downstairs, and fetched some breakfast. The house was empty. A quick examination of the refrigerator showed that Mom was at work, Dad was hobnobbing at a business brunch, and Quinn was at...the library? Daria shook her head. Strange things were indeed afoot in the Morgendorffer household.

As she was eating her toast, and reading the paper, she noticed the light blinking on the answering machine. Replaying the message, it turned out that Tom had enjoyed the movies so much last night, he wanted to catch the rest of the festival. And he wanted Daria to come with him. Daria frowned. On the one hand, she had been hoping to spend some quality time with Jane this weekend. On the other hand, Tom would whine if she didn’t go, and she didn’t want to annoy him. She was beginning to sense a distance growing between them, and she didn’t want it to grow.

Right? She liked Tom, didn’t she? And she enjoyed going out with him. Except she was rather beginning to miss Jane recently, and she didn’t like that feeling.

Several other feelings about Jane flashed into her head, but she ignored them.

Making up her mind, she picked up the phone, and dialed Jane’s number. The machine picked up. “Hey, this is Casa Lane. Jane here. I’m not here right now, and some of us are never here, but if you want to leave a message, go ahead. I’m just not real confident anyone will ever get it.”

“Hey Jane, it’s me. Hey, I know we had plans for tonight, but that festival’s on all weekend, and Tom really wants to catch it. So, I don’t think I’ll be free all weekend. Sorry. You don’t mind, do you? Anyway, um, I’ll call you, or see you Monday.”

She put down the phone, and wondered if she was making the right decision. Of course she was. This way she could keep her relationship with Tom going, and that was a good thing. Right?

Daria frowned, and picked up the paper again.

The next day, a Saturday, Jane awoke, and looked at the alarm clock. It was her usual wake-up time for a weekend - one p.m. She yawned, and stretched her arms. After the usual wake-up routine, she dragged herself out of bed, and set off downstairs.

Trent wasn’t there. Probably a late/early practice, so she had the house to herself again. She made some coffee, and checked the messages on the answering machine.

The usual bunch. Various angry and drunken messages from Monique either breaking up with Trent, or begging him to take her back. At least one message from a Spiral member, vocally disagreeing with the band’s new direction. One from Wind, announcing his latest marital woes. And one from Daria.

“Hey Jane, it’s me. Hey, I know we had plans for tonight, but that festival’s on all weekend, and Tom really wants to catch it. So, I don’t think I’ll be free all weekend. Sorry. You don’t mind, do you? Anyway, um, I’ll call you, or see you Monday.”

Jane sipped her coffee, and tried to figure out what the feelings she was currently getting in her stomach were. Not good ones, that was for sure. This was not good. Not good at all.

That night, Jane was at the mall. She’d needed to get out of the house, and take her mind off things, and she figured some place that promoted mindlessness was the place to go. It wasn’t really working, however. Nothing she did, or anywhere she went seemed to lift her spirits.

She was in one of the music stores, when she heard someone call her name. Jane glanced round, and she smiled a little as she recognized Mack. “Hey.”

“What are you up to?”

Jane shrugged. “Nothing much. Just browsing. Window shopping. Though I already have enough windows.” She tried to make the last part sound witty, but it fell totally flat.

“Ah. Where’s Daria?”

Jane frowned. She tried not to let her mood show too much, but she didn‘t think it was working.

“Sorry for asking,” he said cautiously.

Jane waved her hand. “It’s okay. It’s nothing. She’s...with Tom.”

“Oh.”

She looked at him. “What’s up with you? You look stressed.”

“Nothing major,” said Mack unconvincingly.

“Ah. Same here.” Jane glanced back at the CD rack. “So what brings you to the mall today? Apart from the bus.” Another failed joke. She was really missing the mark tonight.

“Just looking. Here with Kevin.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Mack grinned. “Funny.” He glanced at his watch. “Hey, I have to go. Sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“I’m fine,” said Jane, not glancing up from the CDs.

“Okay. Well, see you on Monday, then.” Mack turned to leave.

“But thanks for asking,” said Jane, a little quieter.

Mack smiled. “No problem.” He walked out.

Jane sighed, and resumed her flipping through the CDs. That had been sweet of Mack, but then, he usually was kind of sensitive to that kind of thing. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk about it, but that she didn’t really know herself what was wrong. Was it resentment, that Daria was waving her betrayal in her face without realizing it? Was it anger at seeing her jerk ex-boyfriend every single day, and him smiling and acting like nothing had ever happened? Was it the fact that Daria, consciously or not, was blowing her off exactly like Jane had done a year ago?

Jane didn’t know. All she knew was that there was a lot of feelings boiling up inside her, and she needed to talk to Daria before they came out in a way she didn’t want them to. Jane knew she was a very emotional person. Both in a good way, and a bad way. Extreme emotions tended to pop up in her life to an alarming extent. She just didn’t to do or say something she would regret in the heat of the moment.

Jane sighed, and glanced down at the stack of CDs she had picked up. Portishead, Radiohead, Leonard Cohen...

Jane smiled wryly. It was obvious what kind of emotions were running through her head at the moment. She picked up the pile, and headed to the cash register.

Jane opened the door to find Daria standing there.

“Isn’t this a surprise,” she said, trying to inject a note of humor into her voice.

“Not really,” said Daria. “More like routine, by now.”

“Mm.” Jane reached back and grabbed her jacket, and walked out of the house. “Fun weekend?”

Daria shrugged. “Can’t describe it exactly as fun. It was a Tarkovsky festival.”

“True. I don’t know how you sit through that.”

“Gloomy Soviet cinema? It‘s the most fun you can have in a weekend. Especially when all the movies are over three hours long. Plus, I had company.”

“Oh yes.” Jane put that thought out of her mind rather quickly. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Daria frowned. “You wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway.”

“I didn’t say I would have liked to go,” said Jane suddenly.

Daria looked at her. “I didn’t say you did. Jane, are you trying to get at something?”

Jane shook her head a little too vigorously. “No! I mean...no...”

Daria stopped. “Jane, you’ve been acting weird for days now. Is everything okay?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Jane forcefully.

“Jane, I’m supposed to be your best friend, remember?”

“Yes, you’re supposed to be.” Jane kept walking.

Daria tried to catch up, having to run a little to keep up. “Jane, really, what the hell is going on?”

“Nothing!” Jane rubbed her forehead. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Can we drop this, okay?”

“Okay,” said Daria hesitantly. “We need to talk about....whatever this is. Okay?”

“Okay.” Jane nodded. “Soon. Not yet.”

Daria nodded, and they continued to school in a most awkward silence.

In Mr. O‘Neill‘s class, Daria sat, giving concerned glances in Jane’s direction. Now the situation between them was worsening, and Daria didn’t even know why.

O’Neill bounded into the room with his usual cheer, completely misjudging the mood of the class (as usual). “I have some incredible news!” he gasped.

“This can’t be good,” muttered Daria. “What do you bet that this involves me? It usually does.”

“World doesn’t revolve around you, Daria, you know,” said Jane acidly.

Daria stopped, feeling like she’d been hit in the stomach. She looked at Jane, knowing that her eyes betrayed how hurt she felt by Jane. Jane looked at her, her face melting.

“I’m sorry...” said Jane quietly.

Daria looked away, her mind still reeling from that.

Oblivious as usual, O’Neill continued blathering. “Did you know that every year, some of the leading industrialists and companies in this state give out awards for the best, most insightful essays of the year?”

Silence.

“Well, this year, two students from our class have been selected for the finals!” O’Neill looked like he was about to wet himself with glee.

Daria stuck her hand up. “Am I one of them?”

“Daria, how did you guess? Yes! Once again, your writing has been chosen! Isn’t that great?”

“You were right,” said Jane. Daria ignored her.

“Which one?”

“Um, ‘Lawndale High - A model for schools in the 21st century‘.”

Daria sighed. “They did realize that that essay wasn’t exactly positive, didn’t they?”

“It wasn’t?” O’Neill scratched his head. “Oh well. The second one was from Michael Jordan Mackenzie.”

Mack blinked in surprise. “Me? I didn’t submit anything.”

Jodie turned to him. “I did it for you. I thought your essay was amazing.”

“Oh,” said Mack, still in shock. “Er, which one?”

O’Neill scrabbled around in his notes. “Lawndale High - How to excel in a corrupt system.”

“Do they even read these essays?” said Mack incredulously.

“Of course,” said O’Neill uncertainly.

“This is ridiculous,” said Daria. “Every time this happens to me, it goes badly.”

At that moment, Li walked in. “Morning! I trust you’ve heard the amazing news.”

General murmurs.

“Excellent! And how do our two competitors feel?”

“Confused,” said Mack.

“Deeply cynical,” said Daria.

“There is a cash prize,” pointed out Li.

Mack perked up. “How much?”

“I think the grand prize is a thousand dollars.”

“Hmmm,” said Daria.

“And you do get a free trip to Oakwood,” said Li. “That’s where it’s being held. This weekend, in fact.”

“Okay,” said Daria. “I’m sold.”

“Me too,” said Mack. “Count me in.”

“Excellent!” said Li. “I count I can trust on you two to bring honor and glory to Lawndale High?”

“Uh-huh,” said Daria unconvincingly.

“Sure,” said Mack absently, trying to figure out his finances in his head.

Li took a last look at the two of them, muttering something about wishing it had been Jodie, and left. O’Neill beamed at them. “Isn’t this great!”

“Oh yes,” said Daria.

“I’m going to be going with you, as your mentor!”

“Oh joy.”

“You’ve never mentored me,” said Mack, frowning.

“Oh, well...” O’Neill tapered off. “Did I mention you each get to bring a guest? Something about filling up the audience, or something like that.”

“Well, that would imply that no-one cares about this award,” said Daria.

O’Neill laughed nervously. “Obviously, that can’t be the case.”

Kevin bounded up and down in his seat. “Oh man! Me and you in Oakwood, Mack Daddy!”

“Don’t get any ideas,” said Mack. “Jodie, are...”
“Of the same sex,” said O’Neill quickly. “I mean, you will be sharing a hotel room. We wouldn’t want anything inappropriate happening, would we?”

Mack sighed heavily. Kevin whooped. “Me and you, man!”

Brittany shot Kevin a nasty glance. “Just remember that I’m right back here, Kevvie.”

“Babe, you know me, I’d never do anything like that. I‘d never cheat on you.”

The rest of the class could barely keep from tittering at that. Kevin glanced around.

“What?”

Jane turned to Daria, who was frowning. “Need some company in Oakwood?”

“Too bad Tom couldn’t have gone.”

Jane frowned. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

Daria stared at her. “I didn’t mean it like that. Jane, what’s wrong with you?”

Jane turned around, not saying anything. Daria kept staring at her, wondering what she had done to piss off her best friend, and wondering why she hurt so much inside.

Jane arrived at Lawndale High that next Friday, and stood outside, waiting for Daria. In the distance, she could see her driving up in one of Tom’s old rust buckets. Jane sighed. Maybe this would be good for them. Time to themselves, no interruptions. Might do them some good.

On the other hand, their attitudes to each other had worsened over the past week. Now their mere presence seemed to irritate the other, and neither of them knew exactly why it was happening. Daria had started hanging out with Tom more, probably because her best friend was being such a bitch. Jane didn’t know why she was doing what she was doing. All she wanted was for them to be back to the way they had been, before last summer, before all of this Tom stuff. Maybe that was some of it. Maybe there was still resentment there. But there was something else, something Jane couldn’t identify. She sighed. Despite herself, she was not looking forward to this trip.

Daria and Tom pulled up. They said their goodbyes, and Daria kissed him goodbye. He drove off.

Jane waved at her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” said Daria stiffly. “Anyone else here?”

As if on cue, Mr. O’Neill’s car drew up. He stuck his head out of the window. “Daria! Jane! Are the others here yet?”

Kevin’s jeep pulled into the lot, and he got out, and bounded up. “Hey! We ready for road trip? We’re gonna have some major fun!!”

No-one said anything.

Mack and Jodie walked up, their body language very uncomfortable. “Hey,” said Mack.

“Okay!” said O’Neill. “Let’s get in!”

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to fly us?” said Daria.

“Well, it’s funny you should say that,” said O’Neill thoughtfully. “There was something in the budget for flights but Mrs. Bennett said it just disappeared.”

“Odd, that,” said Mack. He kissed Jodie awkwardly, and got in. Daria and Jane did the same, and Kevin got into the passenger seat. Mack waved goodbye to Jodie, and the car pulled out of Lawndale High and set off for Oakwood.

“This is exciting, isn’t it?” beamed O’Neill.

“Oh yes,” said Daria. “Exciting.”

“Put on some music!” said Kevin excitedly. “Road trip! Road trip!”

“How did I let myself get talked into this?” muttered Daria.

“Hey, come on,” said Jane. “It might be good.”

“Good for who?”

Jane shrugged. “For us. You know, we haven’t had a lot of time together lately.”

“That’s because all we do is argue when we are together.”

“That’s not true,” said Jane lamely.

“Yes it is,” said Daria, before realizing that everyone else in the car was listening to them. “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

“Daria...”

Daria turned towards the window, and stared out. Jane sighed heavily.

Mack, sensing the air of tension in the car, leaned forward. “Did someone say something about music?”

“Oh yes!” said O’Neill, seemingly grateful that Daria and Jane had stopped talking. “Hey, do you guys like the Brotherhood of Man?”

Jane grimaced. This trip was seeming like a worse idea by the second.

After a few excruciating hours, they arrived at the hotel. Kevin had been as much of a pain as usual, and Jane and Daria had been aggressively not talking to each other. Jane was wondering if it was this bad in front of the others, what was it going to be like once they were alone?

Daria and Jane walked up to their room, in a state of icy silence. Jane was beginning to wonder if this hadn’t been such a great idea after all. Maybe what they needed was a little time apart to learn to appreciate each other again, like over the summer.

At the thought of summer, she gritted her teeth. Where was all this coming from? She hadn’t been this angry before, had she? It felt...like she just wanted to lash out, and she knew that would not be a good idea. But now she was stuck her, in close proximity to Daria. It was a recipe for disaster, Jane thought.

They reached the room, and went inside. Daria set her bag down on the bed, and went in to use the bathroom. Jane sat down on the bed, and tried to think about what was the best course of action.

She heard the toilet flush, and Daria walked back into the room. There was another awkward silence. Daria pulled a couple of fresh clothes from her bag, and walked back into the bathroom to change, all without meeting Jane’s glance. At least, that was what Jane thought. She was trying to avoid Daria’s glance as well.

Daria came back out of the bathroom wearing her cleaner clothes. She sort of looked at Jane, avoiding eye contact. “Um, we’d better get down to dinner.”

Jane nodded curtly, and they left the room, going back into the uncomfortable silence. Maybe being with all those people would make the situation less awkward.

Down in the lobby, they met up with Mr. O’Neill, Mack, and Kevin. After a quick poll that no-one but Kevin voted in, Mack decided that they should just pick the closest restaurant and be done with it. O’Neill said he couldn’t vote, as he didn’t want to influence anyone else, and neither Daria or Jane weren’t to be in the mood to talk to anyone, much less themselves. Kevin was totally oblivious, as usual.

The nearest restaurant turned out to be one of the branches of The Settlement. They went inside, and ordered.

As they were waiting for their food, O’Neill perked up. “Isn’t this great?” he said eagerly. “It’s like we’re all just buds, hanging out.”

There was a half-hearted murmur of agreement.

“Is everyone excited about tomorrow?” he asked. “Because I know I am! My protege, nominated for yet another award.”

“And me,” added Mack.

“Oh yes,” said O’Neill. “And you, of course.”

“I’m not your protege,” said Daria peevishly. “I don’t know where you keep getting these stupid ideas.”

O’Neill didn’t quite know what to say. “Um...” he began nervously.

“Lay off, Daria,” said Jane. “That was kind of mean.”

Daria frowned and glanced at Jane. “That’s rich, coming from you. What’s been up with you, the last few days?”

“I don’t want to talk about it here,” said Jane uncomfortably.

O’Neill couldn’t help but add his two cents. “You know, I did notice that you two seemed to be a little upset in the car. If there’s something you want to talk about, maybe you should do it while there’s a trained professional here.”

Mack frowned. “Mr. O’Neill, I don’t think that’s...”

Daria glared at Jane. “No, I think that’s a good idea. Maybe now, Jane can tell me why she’s being so weird lately.” She didn’t think this was a good idea, but she just couldn’t stop herself.

“Like you haven’t,” shot back Jane.

“I’ve been upset because someone I thought was my best friend has been acting weirdly towards me for the last week and a half. I can only take so much, you know.”

Jane glared at her. “I have my reasons.”

Mack could see where this was going. “Um, guys...?”

Daria ignored him. “Maybe you could tell me what they are, Jane. Is this about the stupid prom? That’s when this started.”

“No!” Jane paused. “I mean, maybe...”

“You’re upset because I wanted to go to the prom with my boyfriend? Yeah, Jane, that’s real mature. I wasn’t even this bratty when you were dating Tom.”

“Is that your brother?” asked Kevin, looking lost.

Jane shushed him. “Maybe after seeing what me dating Tom did to us, you’d be more careful!”

Daria’s eyes went wide. “Is this all still about the Tom thing?”
“No!” Jane shouted a little too loudly. O’Neill was looking petrified. “Screw Tom! I don’t give a shit about Tom. If I never saw him again, it wouldn’t be that big of a loss, okay? I certainly don’t need to see him every day with you!”

“You said it wasn’t about him.”

“It’s not! It’s about you and me, okay? I thought, after what you did...”
“We settled that, Jane.”

“To who’s standards? Yours? Just ‘cause I gave you permission to date him, didn’t mean you had to throw it in my face! Maybe you should have said ’No, Jane, I won’t date Tom, I know it would hurt you.’”

Daria shook her head. “I don’t understand, Jane. You’re not making any damn sense.”

“Jesus, Daria! I thought you were smart! But you sure don’t understand people, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe you should have treated our friendship like you should have, and not just thrown it in my face, by reminding me of what you two did every day!”

“You said I could...”

“I didn’t mean it! I don’t think I meant it...” Jane shook her head. “I don’t know...I just want you to treat our relationship like it should be treated, okay? I think.”

Daria looked at her. “You don’t think I’m treating our friendship like I should?” She looked at Jane, her eyes full of hurt and anger. “Jane, don’t you trust me?”

“No, I don’t trust you!” shouted Jane. “The last time I trusted you, you stole my fucking boyfriend! Hell, what are you going to do next?”

There was an awkward silence. Dinner had quickly degenerated into a huge argument between the two of them, and now they were sitting, staring at each other with undisguised anger.

Mack and Kevin stared at each other, not wanting to look at the two girls. O’Neill started crying. Daria looked at Jane in shock and anger. She shook her head slightly, stood up and walked quickly from the restaurant. Jane stared after her for a second, then she got up, and walked out too. She walked straight back to the hotel, went up to her room, and sat down on the bed, wondering why the hell she was doing this to herself. So much for making the situation less awkward.

Daria walked out of the restaurant, her head racing a mile a minute. Jane hated her. Jane hated her, or she wouldn’t have said those things to her.

Damn it, she thought. Did Jane know how much she had just hurt her? Did she?

But she was right, wasn’t she? She was dead on the mark about everything, and that’s what made it all so more painful.

She didn’t even know where she was walking to, and she didn’t care. Just away from Jane, that was all she needed.

After a short while, she became dimly aware that someone was following her. Hoping to hell that it wasn’t Jane, she turned around. It was Kevin.

“Kevin?” she asked, in an unbelieving tone.

“Hi!” said Kevin brightly.

“Kevin, why the hell are you following me?”

“Mack told me to,” he said.

“Why?”

“To make sure you were okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Daria firmly. “Now go away.”

Kevin seemed stumped by this. “But Mack...”

“Forget Mack. I’m telling you to go away.”

Kevin didn’t move.

“Piss off, Kevin,” said Daria, starting to get angry.

Kevin didn’t budge. “Mack told me to follow you,” he said brightly.

Daria sighed. No point in getting upset. She turned and resumed her trek, again not caring where she went. All she wanted to do was get away for a while.

Eventually, she found a small cafe, maybe twenty minutes walk from the hotel. She walked inside, sat down at the nearest table, and got a drink. She sat, dejected, and alone at the table.

Until Kevin sat down opposite her.

She put her hands over her face. “Kevin, I really can’t handle you at the moment. Please go away.”

“Mack told me to follow you!” said Kevin brightly.

“Is that your mantra?” Seeing Kevin’s blank look, she tried a different tack. “Do you always cling to what Mack says?”

“When I’m totally lost, yeah. I get in less trouble that way.”

Daria opened her mouth, then closed it again. “Actually, that’s probably wise, Kevin. Keep doing that.”

“Okay!”

She sighed heavily. “Look, it’s nothing personal, but I really just want to be alone right now, and...”

“Why are you and Jane bitching at each other?” he asked suddenly.

“It’s a long story,” she found herself saying. “Look, for a long time...” She tailed off. What the hell was she doing? This was Kevin Thompson. Not the best choice to talk to, by any stretch of the imagination.

“Nothing,” she said.

“Oh come on!” said Kevin. “You can’t stop there! I really want to know.”

“Kevin, no. It’s none of your business.”

“Mack says that sometimes people need to talk.”

“Yes, Kevin, that’s true. But, and don’t take this the wrong way, there’s not a lot of people in this world that I’d want to talk to less than you.” She sighed. “Because me and my best friend have suddenly found ourselves hating each other, and I don’t know why, and it’s tearing me apart inside because I feel like it’s my fault, and I really need to get this out, but all I have to talk to is you.”

Kevin looked at her blankly. “What?” he said finally.

Daria looked at him. “Nothing,” she said sadly. “Look, Kevin....I know you mean well, but...” She tailed off again. Kevin wasn’t listening, having been distracted by a pretty waitress nearby.

She stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom.” Kevin started to get up after her, but she pushed him back down. “The women’s bathroom, Kevin.”

“Huh?” Realization dawned in his eyes. “Oh!” He sat back down again.

Daria sighed and walked into the bathroom. She took her glasses off, and splashed some water on her face. Glancing up from the sink, she caught a glimpse of her blurred face in the mirror. She put her glasses on and looked at herself.

The Daria in the mirror looked depressed as hell.

Daria smiled wryly. “What crawled up your ass and died?”

Mirror Daria didn’t respond.

Daria looked at herself for a long time. Finally she spoke. “What the hell are you doing, Morgendorffer?”

No answer.

“Why are you and Jane fighting so much these days?” She paused. “Jane’s still mad about that Tom thing, isn’t she?”

Daria sighed. Of course she was. Wouldn’t Daria be mad, if it had happened to her? Hell, Daria had been furious with Jane for just going out and getting a boyfriend.

“Isn’t that a little odd?” she muttered. “Getting that jealous, over a boy?”

Yes, it had been. But then, it was hardly without precedent. Every time Jane had done that, Daria had been the jealous bitch-queen from Hell. And then Jane had dumped them, and things had returned to the status quo.

“Not this time, though. This time, Tom stayed around. This time, Jane stuck it out. And that just made you even more mad.”

In fact, Jane had stuck it out far beyond the point of where it would have normally ended. Almost as if she was trying to prove something to herself.

“And then you kissed him, you stupid, stupid girl. And everything blew right open, then, didn’t it?”

Oh yes.

“You know why I think you did it? To make them break up. To end the relationship with him yourself. To get back at Jane.”

Daria shook her head. Maybe that was true. Reasons and motivations had never really been discussed when it came to the Tom thing. She had done it, Jane had been understandably furious, and then she had started going out with Tom.

“Yes. Going out with Tom. That was a good idea. Throwing that in Jane’s face every single day. No wonder she went off to art camp.”

Daria stared at her reflection for a long time. Why had she gone out with Tom? Yes, he was funny. Yes, he was vaguely charming. Yes, he was kind of good looking. But he had been Jane’s boyfriend. Who had cheated on her. With Daria. That was not the best way to start a relationship.

“You wanted one, though, didn’t you? A relationship, I mean.”
Yes. She had been curious, and wondered about one. At that point, she was seventeen, and never had had a boyfriend. Of course she was curious.

“Picking Tom, though?”

Okay. So she was lazy at social interactions. When you got right down to it, she’d made all of her friends by convenience. Jane had made the first move that day, Trent was Jane’s brother, and all of her other casual acquaintances were in her class at school. Very convenient. Tom had just been closest at the time.

“Why? Why did you want a relationship so badly?”

Daria sighed. She didn’t know...

“Yes, you do.”

Okay, yes she did. She’d been missing something. A relationship. She’d wanted to see what it was like, being with someone like that.

“And it wasn’t that great, was it?”

Tom was a nice guy, if a little immoral in the dating area. But...there was no spark there, no true connection. It wasn’t like it was...

Daria stopped her thoughts right there, and stared up at the mirror. He reflection stared right back.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she whispered quietly. “It’s not true.”

She shook her head, trying to get the thought out of her mind.

“It’s not working, is it?”

No, it wasn’t. Once you got a thought like that, it wasn’t going to go away very quickly. She looked up at herself in the mirror again, but that nagging thought wouldn’t go away.

“There wasn’t a true connection with Tom, was there? It wasn’t like it was...with Jane,” she whispered.

Daria closed her eyes, and felt like she needed to sit down. She walked into one of the stalls, closed the door, and sat down. Taking off her glasses, she rubbed her eyes furiously, trying to ignore the growing ache in the back of her head.

It was true, wasn’t it? Nothing she’d had with Tom, or anything she’d felt for another guy was as deep or as heartfelt as it was with Jane. That thought had been buzzing around in the back of her mind for years, and she’d been trying to repress it. Typical Daria, really. Not wanting to confront the issue, preferring to pretend that it didn’t exist.

All she had ever wanted, since about eleventh grade, was to be with Jane. She’d gotten jealous every time Jane had as much as looked at another guy, and when Jane had actually started dating someone...well, that spoke for itself. Despite her near-constant self-examination, and tendency to over-analyze everything, Daria had managed to suppress any little examination of those particular thoughts.

It was funny what came out of your mind when you really looked in there.

Daria slumped forward on the toilet, rubbing her eyes. This was awkward. Very awkward.

So how did she really feel about Jane? Daria felt like she already knew the answer. No other explanation made sense. Every little action she had done over the past few years led to only one conclusion.

Daria was in love with her.

Daria sighed heavily. This was awful. Why Tom, then? Why had she done that?

To see if she could, that’s what it boiled down to. She had been in denial so much that she had decided that a relationship with Jane couldn’t work, and it would just ruin their friendship forever. She’d wanted to see if she could make a relationship with someone else work. And of course, Tom was right there, and willing. So they’d gone for it. Jane was right. She had neglected her for the past few months. Daria knew why, now, though. She’d been trying to make her relationship with Tom work, trying to deny her feelings for Jane, and damaging their relationship in the process.

Daria sat in the stall for a long time, wondering exactly how the hell she was going to manage this. She was in love with her best friend. She was in a relationship with a guy she had almost no romantic feelings for. Her best friend hated her at the moment, probably for getting into said relationship. This was so out of her league it wasn’t even funny. Which was ironic, as this was the sort of painful situation she’d usually laugh at, if it were on television.

Maybe she could stay in this bathroom stall for the rest of her life. It wouldn’t be such a bad life. Except that the toilet paper supply was running out fast.

Daria sighed, again. No, she’d have to go back eventually, and face the music. What was she going to say, though? “I’m sorry for ignoring you, Jane. I only did it because I was trying to suppress my latent feelings for you.”

Daria grimaced. That was not going to work. She stood up, flushed the toilet (out of habit, more than anything else) and walked back over to the mirror. Mirror Daria stared back at her.

“You’ve got yourself into a real good one this time, Morgendorffer,” she muttered. “How are you going to handle this one? I mean, with your advanced social skills - it should be a total breeze.”

First, she was going to apologize to Jane. And hopefully, Jane was going to apologize to her. And they would get back to normal.

“What about that whole pesky love thing, Daria?”

She didn’t know. That was the hard part. What if Jane didn’t feel the same way? Then Daria would have just confessed her love to her best friend, and there would be no way they could ever act normally around each other ever again. There would always be this awkwardness in the air. It would probably ruin their friendship, and Daria would never see her again.

That thought caused her stomach to drop a little. She couldn’t handle that. That summer without her just about killed her.

“What if she did feel the same way?” she whispered suddenly.

Did she really want to take that chance, though? Daria knew Jane cared for her a great deal, even though she had never said as much. She had even forgiven Daria for that whole Tom thing, which meant she must care an awful lot. But did she love her?

Daria didn’t know, and she couldn’t take that chance. If she didn’t, she might lose her, and she couldn’t handle that.

“What about Tom? You don’t love him. Is it really fair to keep being with him, when you know it won’t go anywhere?”

It might, Daria thought. If she was never going to tell Jane, then...

“Then what? Tom would do? That’s not particularly nice, to be with him because he’s your safety.”
Daria shook her head. She couldn’t tell Jane how she felt. That meant she didn’t want to change anything, not right now. Keep things as they are for the minute. That mean not telling Jane, and staying with Tom. That was the plan.

She turned away from the mirror. Okay. Now she had a plan. Maybe not a wonderful plan, but it would do for the moment.

Daria sighed. She had no talent for dealing with relationship woes. Maybe she could talk to someone about this.

On the other hand, like who? Jane was the only person she really trusted with this sort of thing, and she was the cause. Tom wasn’t going to be much help, given that she was confessing to being in love with someone else. Maybe her Mom?

Daria shook her head. They might be closer these days, but they were still quite bit from something this big. She’d just have to do it by herself. She had a plan, and she was going to follow it, or she might end up losing her best friend, and Daria honestly didn’t know what she’d do without Jane.

Shaking her head, to try and clear it, she walked back into the main part of the cafe. Kevin was still there, doing his best to chat up the waitress. Succeeding, too, by the look of things.

Daria walked up. “Come on, Kevin. I’m leaving.”

The waitress frowned. “Hell, you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

Kevin glanced at Daria and frowned. “Her? No, she’s not my girlfriend! I mean, I have a girlfriend, but that’s not her.”

The waitress shook her head in disbelief. “Uh-huh.” She walked away.

“Aw man,” said Kevin. “She was totally into me.”

Daria looked at him. “I’m leaving. You can stay here, but I’m dubious about your efforts to find your way back to the hotel.”

Kevin thought about that. “What was it called again?”

Daria sighed, settled up the bill, and walked out, followed closely by Kevin.

After a short walk, Daria and Kevin arrived back at the hotel. Kevin went on upstairs to report to Mack that Daria was indeed okay. Daria was touched that Mack had been worried, but concerned about his choice of messenger.

She lingered in the lobby for a few minutes, trying to delay going up and facing Jane for as long as possible. Normally, she’d want to drag Jane over the coals for what she had said, as it had hurt. But given what she’d figured out since then, she just wanted them to both forget it, and get things back to as close to normal as possible.

Well, as close to normal as you can get when you’ve just figured out that you’re in love with your best friend, but you’re not going to tell her because you’re worried it will destroy your friendship, and so you’re going to keep going out with her old boyfriend to see if you can survive a relationship without her.

Daria sighed. Her life was anything but normal.

Thirty minutes later, Daria still hadn’t come back yet. Jane wondered where she was. Probably wondering why her best friend was such a colossal bitch.

She heard a knock on the door, and she leapt off the bed, hoping that it was Daria. Maybe she’d forgotten her key, or maybe she’d lost in in Oakwood...

Jane opened the door, and frowned. It was Mack. He smiled. “Hey.”

She tried to smile back, and failed horribly. “Hey.”
“How are you?”

“Guess,” she said glumly. “You?”

“Worried. I’ve never seen you two go at it like that before.”

“We have. But it’s rare.”

“You okay?”

She shrugged. “Not really. The makeshift Prozac is helping a little.” She indicated a tub.

Mack raised an eyebrow. “Looks more like chocolate ice cream.”

“Same effect.” Jane sighed. “So what brings you here?”

“I was worried about you. Figured I’d see if you were okay.” He grimaced. “Plus Ms. Barch showed up. I guess her and O’Neill planned this, or something. His room’s next to ours, and there’s...noises coming from there. Scary noises.”

Jane smiled, despite herself. “Want to come in?”

“Didn’t know if you wanted to be alone, or not.”

Jane shrugged. “I could use the company, I think.”

Mack smiled. “I do have chips and soda.” He held them up.

Jane smiled. “Come on in.”

Mack walked inside and sat down on the bed. Jane did the same on the other one. There was a brief pause.

“So,” said Mack cautiously. “What happened there tonight?”

Jane sighed heavily. “I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have, and I pissed my best friend off forever, probably...”

“I didn’t understand most of it, to be honest. I mean, I got the Tom thing. He’s Daria’s boyfriend, right? The rich guy?”

Jane nodded.

“Jodie’s met him. I haven’t. But, um, he used to be your boyfriend, right?”

Jane smiled wryly and nodded again.

Mack scratched his head. “I know you guys had been having problems...Jodie told me. But she didn’t know exactly what happened between you breaking up and him going out with Daria.”

Jane sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” said Mack. “I mean, if you want to talk about it, I mean. I’m not so good on advice, but I listen real well.”

Jane shrugged. “You don’t want to hear about my problems. I’d just be whining.”

“I don’t know. Seems to me you were keeping a lot in.”

Jane didn’t say anything.

“And to be honest, it would take my mind off my problems.”

“You and Jodie?” said Jane, in a surprised tone.

Mack looked away. “Um, yeah. Sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

Jane bunched her legs up under her. “Tell you what, Mackenzie. I’ll spill my guts, if you’ll spill yours.”

“Well, I...”

“Hey, weren’t you the one saying how someone needed to talk?” Jane looked at him. “And I bet Kevin’s not exactly the greatest to talk to.”

Mack sighed. “I guess.”

“Come on. Nothing’ll go past this room, I promise.”

Mack thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. Nothing past this room, okay?”

“Sure.” Jane took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll go first.”

“It was your idea,” said Mack.

Jane ran a hand through her black hair. “Okay. Let’s flash back to a year ago, or so. I’m at a bar, with Daria, watching the Spiral play.”

“The what?”

“My brother. Has a band, I mean. Mystic Spiral.”

“Oh. Any good?”

Jane laughed. “So, I meet a reasonably good looking guy, and we start dating. Turns out he’s rich as hell, and on some stupid slumming shit. Also turns out he’s unbelievably arrogant, and controlling. We fall into a rut, and move inexorably towards a messy break-up.”

“Fairly average teen stuff, right?”

Jane shot him a look. “Through all this, Daria first acts like the most jealous wife in history, not missing an opportunity to put him down, or try to get rid of him.”

“Ouch.”

“Well, she was right about him. That what made it so frustrating. She had him pegged from the start. I should have listened to her.”

“So you guys are going to break up....and?”

“Well, something odd happens. Daria and Tom actually start getting to know each other. And liking each other.”

“This isn’t going to end well, is it?”

“I encouraged it! I saw how similar they were, and I told them to get along better. And they did! Then, since my first major relationship is going down in flames, and I don’t know how to handle it, I fly off the deep end. I start accusing them both of cheating on me.”

“But they’re not.”

“No. And there’s this...hair thing. After that, I really go off. I go ballistic, and practically accuse them of planning the whole thing. And then...” Jane tailed off and closed her eyes.

Mack looked at her. “Jane, what happened? Did you and Tom break up?”

Jane shook her head. “No. Daria...kissed him.”

“She did what?” Mack frowned. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Huh. No shit. She gets in his car after a big fight, and he kisses her. Then she kisses him back.”

“Oh.”

Jane shook her head, bad memories flooding through her head. “She told me. She had the decency to tell me, at least. I run off, find Tom and try to kick the shit out of him.”

“Did you?” Mack smiled. “I wouldn’t want to cross you.”

Jane smiled wanly. “No. I guess I could have...but I was just too hurt that my best friend did that to me. I just didn‘t have any energy to.”

“And Tom.”

Jane shook her head. “Screw Tom. I didn’t care about him. We were going to break up anyway. It was Daria...she was the one that hurt me most.” Jane wiped her face quickly. “Then after that, I tell her she should date him...and she does! Just like that!”

“I did think that was odd.”

“Odd!? God, I was so pissed. I ran off to an art colony for the summer, just to get away from them both.” Jane fell silent, and stared down at the floor for a while. Finally, she spoke up again. “You know what really hurt? The fact that I thought I might have done it. That it was my fault.”

“Your fault?” Mack shook his head. “Jane, I...”

“I was the one acting like a bitch. I was the one accusing them of cheating. I was the one that insisted on staying together with Tom, even though we were so badly matched. Maybe...maybe Daria was just doing it because she already felt like I was punishing her for it, so she might as well do it.”

“Jane, that’s crazy.”

“Oh, I don’t think it was all me. Trust me. A lot of it was Tom.” Jane shook his head. “I knew he had his eye on her. Of course he would. She was the smart one. You know what he did when I confronted him about what he’d done?”

Mack shook his head.

“He didn’t apologize. Not once. Oh, he said it was wrong, but he didn’t apologize.” Jane sighed. “You know what I think?”

Mack shook his head.

“I think he knew it was wrong, all right. He just didn’t care.”

“Jane, isn’t that a bit harsh?”

“I mean, look at how it turned out for him. He got me and her. He got everything he wanted. Just like always.” Jane shook her head. “Damn it.”

“Good thing you’re not bitter.”

Jane smiled weakly. “I’m not really. Not to him. I don’t care about him.”

“But Daria...”

“Yeah. Daria.” Jane ran her hands through her hair. “That hurt. Even more so when I kept feeling it was partially my fault.”

“So what did you do?” Mack frowned, and tried to remember. “I remember, about that time...you guys were still hanging together most of the time.”

“Oh, yes. Trying to pretend like nothing had happened. But Daria took my advice. She began dating Tom, about three days after me and him broke up.”

“That’s short.”

“I know.” Jane sighed. “I don’t even know why I told her to do that. Maybe I was feeling kind of guilty for what I thought I’d done. Maybe...” Jane tailed off.

“But you guys made up, right? Back when school started, things seemed back to normal.”

Jane nodded. “Yeah. We...made up eventually. I spent most of the summer away at an art colony, and I...” She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” said Mack, in a concerned tone.

“Talk about this any more,” said Jane. “Not yet, I mean. There’s....there’s all these thoughts and feelings going through my mind, and I need time to process them, okay?”

Mack nodded. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Mack, relax. You didn’t.” Jane looked at him. “Your turn.”

“What?”

“Tell me about you and Jodie. We did agree.”

Mack sighed. Jane looked at him. “Come on. It helps to talk, isn’t that what you said?”

Mack shot her a look, and gave a wry grin. “I guess so.” He took a deep breath. “So...I guess I need to give you a little history on this, don’t I?”

Jane nodded eagerly.

“Okay. Let’s set the wayback machine for 1992. On a young boy called Michael James Mackenzie.”

“Before that unfortunate basketball thing.”

“Yes.” Mack scowled. “Anyway, Michael’s starting middle school in Lawndale, and he’s a fairly lonely young boy, with only a good natured, very cheerful, but criminally stupid football nut as a friend.”

“Poor guy,” said Jane, smiling.

“So he starts middle school, and one day he sees this beautiful young girl. She’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. And wow! Turns out there’s more than one black person in Lawndale middle school after all! She’s a new student there, and she doesn’t have any friends, even by Michael’s standards.” Mack paused. “So he sucks up his gut, and introduces himself. He’s never done this to a girl before, you understand. You know what type of nerve it takes to walk up a beautiful girl when you’re ten?”

“Can’t say I do.” Jane thought for a moment. “You know, I can’t even remember where I was at this point.”

“You were the kind of weird girl who sits at the back and doesn’t say anything.”

“Oh yes,” said Jane. “I remember now. I hung out with Trent a lot back then, I think.”

“Mm. Anyway, the girl is thrilled that someone is actually talking to her, because she’s feeling like a bit of an outsider. So she’s only too happy to meet someone to talk to. And she smiles at him, and tells him her name is Jodie. Jodie Landon. And that smile...” Mack paused. “Well, let’s just say that young Michael is captivated.”

“So you two start dating...”

Mack shook his head. “Oh no. I was ten back then, remember? We were just friends. The best of friends, in fact. We shared everything. We had no secrets from each other, we went everywhere together, we were as close as two friends can be.”

“When did you start dating?”

Mack frowned. “See, that’s the weird thing. We never did, really. But we were so close, and plus we were about the only two black people there, that after a while, everyone assumes we’re dating.”

Jane pointed at him. “So you two were never really a couple?”

“Not at first. But if everyone assumes you’re dating, and you’re close, eventually you start believing it as well. Except we were about as platonic as you can get, really.”

“Hmm.”

“Of course, there’s problem. Jodie’s parents, to be precise. You see, what I hadn’t realized it that Jodie is rich. I mean, rich. And my Dad’s an auto mechanic. And her parents aren’t that keen about us having a relationship. Vocally not keen, if you get my drift.”

“Ouch.”
“Well, I mean...didn’t Tom’s parents ever get on your case?”

Jane thought about it. “They knew we weren’t going to last. Hell, me and Tom knew we weren’t going to last after about the first month. It wasn’t really an issue.”

Mack sighed. “I wish I could say the same. Her parents...well, her Dad, really, has always made me feel like I’m not good enough. So I try to keep her in the manner they want me to.”

“Isn’t that expensive?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. Every few months I get a job, and hoard my money so I can afford to keep getting her things and treating her in the manner her parents want.”

“Jodie doesn’t care about that sort of thing, though. Does she?”

Mack shook his head. “No. But her parents do, and they could make my life a living hell, know what I mean.”

“Doesn’t Jodie notice that you’re doing this?”

“I’m careful. I never let her see what I’m doing. Plus, I keep having to invent these crazy stories. Like saying my Dad holds a debt from when I was eight.”

“And she bought it?”

“She has so much on her plate, she doesn’t have a lot of time to question it.”

Jane shook her head. “And you weren’t even really dating.”

“At first, like I said. Then when everyone assumed it, we did too. But then...”

“Then what?”

Mack sighed.

Jane leaned forward. “Mack, come on. What happened?”

“Well, you know how teenagers are.”

“I guess.”

“Up until last summer, I loved how things were. Me and Jodie were close, we were so close. No secrets from each other, nothing to hide. She was the closest friend I’d ever had - that I’ll probably ever have.”

“And?”

“Well, I’d been working all summer at an ice cream truck to pay off a few debts. I said it was too my father, but it was...something else. And she’d had a ton of jobs, like usual. I hadn’t seen her much. So after I’d paid everything, I made sure I had enough money to take her out. To Chez Pierre, naturally. So we went, and when I was dropping her off, her parents were out, so I went in.”

“Uh-huh?”

“And she was really happy to see me after all that time apart. So we got to talking, and basically we told each other how glad we were that the other was a part of their lives, and...” Mack tailed off. “Well, you remember how I said we were about as platonic as you can get?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, we’d kissed and stuff, but never anything past that. I don’t think either of us was comfortable going beyond that. But that night, she kissed me, and I don’t know what it was, but it got deeper and deeper, and eventually...well, let’s just say we took things to another level.”

“Another...?” Jane’s face lit up in realization. “Oh. Oh!”

Mack nodded glumly. “I know. Stupid hormones.”

“Well, why was that so bad?”

“It wasn’t bad...but the fallout was. I think we both realized we’d made a mistake, but something had changed.”

Jane cocked her head. “Changed?”

“Like we’d taken our relationship to a level it shouldn’t have gone to. Suddenly, we...couldn’t talk to each other any more. We didn’t seem to be comfortable around each other any more, and we...weren’t close any more.”

“Oh.” Jane leaned forward. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you and Tom ever...?”

Jane laughed. “No! God, no. You ever hear that thing about self-centered people being the worst in bed? Let’s just say he’d be the worst, ever. No, that thought never crossed my mind. Plus, there were...other factors.” She sighed. “Anyway, back to you and Jodie.”

Mack sighed. “It’s like there’s just this invisible wall between us, and it keeps getting bigger, and pushing us further apart. I hate it.” He sighed. “I guess until I put this into words I didn’t see how bad this had gotten. I was just trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. Not very well, either.”

“Glad I could help,” said Jane.

Mack smiled. “I don’t think I’ve helped you yet...”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve heard all about the history of you, Tom, and Daria. But I haven’t heard what caused this outburst tonight.”

Jane sighed. “Yeah.”

Mack shot her a look. “Can I ask you something? Something personal, I mean.”

Jane shrugged. “Sure. I mean, we’re practically baring our souls here tonight anyway.”

“You and Daria...what are you two anyway?”

Jane frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what are you guys? There’s rumors and stuff, and you two are always so mysterious...I mean, I’ve never met anyone with so close a relationship, except for me and Jodie, and look how that’s turning out.”

Jane paused, and thought. “Hold on. What rumors?”

“Jane, this is high school. There’s always rumors. Plus, me and Jodie invariably end up hearing about everything.”

“What?”

Mack smiled wryly. “I don’t know why, but we seem to have become the unofficial advice columnists for Lawndale High. I don’t know. It seems like every time someone has a problem, or wants to talk about something, they find us. Except for after Tommy Sherman thing, but everyone assumed that that was Daria’s department.”

“I remember that.” Jane sighed. “That was the first time we really fought, you know?”

“Really?”

“Yeah...” Jane looked at him. “It’s probably because you two seem like the smartest, sanest people in the place. Plus, look at the counselor we have.”

“Good point. Mrs. Manson is hardly the most effective woman in the world.”

“So come on, you must know some dirt! Dish it!”

“Jane, I can’t.”

“Oh come on, what is it? The three Js are gay?”

Mack coughed uncomfortably.

Jane’s eyes went wide. “No freaking way.”

“No, not them. Look, it’s just two of the football team. I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

“Mack, come on,” said Jane eagerly. “Dish the dirt!”

Mack shook his head. “I can’t, Jane. I promised. Plus, they’d kill me. No-on else knows but me and Jodie.”

Jane frowned. “Damn, you really do know stuff.”

Mack grinned. “Jane, I know stuff about Lawndale High that’d turn your hair white. But that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

Jane sighed. “Okay. So where were we?”

“You were about to tell me exactly what’s up with you and Daria.”

“We’re...” Jane paused. “We’re...we...I don’t know. Hell, we just are, you know? We have...something. I used to think that we were just friends, but...” She tailed off.

“What?” asked Mack.

“We never really talked about our relationship, you know? We just kind of took it for granted. She’s not a very open person. I mean, she’s more open with me, but still...”

“I can imagine that.”

“But you know...up until last year things were great. I mean, we fought every once in a while, and stuff, but everyone does that. She’d get really jealous every time I looked at a guy, but I always shrugged it off.”

“She’d get jealous?”

“Oh yeah.” Jane nodded. “Badly jealous, too. But it was okay...”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’d go back, and we’d go back to hanging out with each other, and only each other, and things would be good again.” Jane paused. “Because being with each other was better, you know? That’s what I thought. I liked being with her more than I did with guys. I mean, there was Tom, and Nathan, and Evan....but they never lasted. Not because she was acting like she was jealous as hell, but...there wasn’t any spark, you know?”

Mack looked at her. “Jane, are you two...?”

Jane shook her head. “No. We weren’t. But...” She tailed off, and changed the subject. “Then came the Tom thing.” She sighed. “And everything went to hell.”

Mack took a sip of coke. “You regret meeting him?”

Jane shrugged. “I don’t know. At the time, I guess I needed someone in my life. Someone who wasn’t just a friend. Someone who could just fulfill...other needs. And I picked the first guy who was interested in me, and look how that turned out.”

“You stick with him long after the point of knowing when to quit...”

“Just to prove I could.”

“And then Daria hooks up with him.”

Jane lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I would have forgiven her. Everything. I wouldn’t have gone to the art colony, or anything, if she hadn’t dated him. I just wanted her to say ‘No, Jane. I won’t date him. I know how much that would hurt you.’ But she didn’t...”

“You did tell her to.”

“I know, I know. I think I told her to....twice, I might add...just so she had the opportunity to refuse. And because I felt, deep down, that it was my fault. I don’t know. I can be so screwed-up sometimes.”

Mack came over and sat beside her. “Sounds like you have a lot of bitterness.”

“I guess I do. Didn’t think I had this much. I guess that stupid prom comment brought it out. God, I’m so selfish.”

“You’re not selfish,” said Mack. “You just want things to be how they were.”

“But they can’t be, can they? Things have changed. We couldn’t go back to the way they were, even if we wanted to.”

Mack sighed heavily. “Neither can I.”

Jane glanced up at him. “I’m sorry, Mack.”

“It’s okay. prom’s weighing heavily on my mind, too.”

“Really? Why?”

“If I don’t win this stupid award, I won’t have enough money to take Jodie. And you know her parents will have a field day with this one.”

“Oh.” Jane glanced back at the ceiling. “Stupid prom.”

“You got it.”

Jane was silent for a long time. “Do you ever spend time with a person so much that they become your whole life? That being with them is all you really want?”

Mack shook his head. “Not really,” he said sadly.

“Daria is...we are...” Jane sighed. “I’m realizing things that I should have realized a long time ago, and I’m acting like a stupid, jealous bitch over it.”

“You’re jealous.” Mack said it like he wasn’t surprised.

Jane laughed a little. “Yeah. I am. I’m jealous of Tom, aren’t I?”

“I didn’t want to say it.”

Jane covered her face. “God. This is weird. It’s like everything I’ve been trying not to think about ever since the Tom thing is coming right out.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy.”

“Oh, it is. Daria and I...everyone thinks we’re a couple, don’t they?”

Mack nodded. “Until the Tom thing, that is. Remember that Evan guy, from the track team? He told everyone you were.”

“Shit. Yeah, I’ve heard that. Stupid asshole. Just cause I wouldn’t put out for him.”

“He’s a jerk, anyway. We’ve gotten into it a few times.”

“Maybe we should have been. A couple, I mean.” Jane closed her eyes. “Maybe I’ve felt this way for a while and I’ve just been trying not to think about it.”

“Oh?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone out with Tom. Maybe I should have talked to Daria, and we could have discussed our feelings, instead of me trying to get them from someone else?”

“You feel that way about her?”

“I think so.” Jane sighed. “I guess I always have, to a degree. I just didn’t want to think about it before now.”

“I’m honored.”

“I guess sometimes you need to vocalize things before you really understand them, you know?” She smiled. “Every happy memory I have of the last two and a half years has her in it. Every time I want to share something with someone, I go to her.” She sighed. “Or at least, I used to.”

“You guys need to talk.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Mack smiled wryly. “You’re right, you know. When is the question.”

“I can’t do it now. I mean, she has a boyfriend, and everything. I don’t want to break them up.”

“Yes you do.”

Jane grinned. “Okay, I do. But I can’t. They’ll think I’m only doing this to get back at them for that kissing thing.”

“Good point.” Mack sighed. “I can’t talk to Jodie. Not yet. Maybe after the prom, but...not yet.” He glanced at Jane. “We won’t make it as a couple, will we?”

Jane shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

He shook his head. “What about Tom and Daria? Think they’ll make it?”

“Even if I wanted them to, I doubt it. He’s too controlling for her. I don’t know why she dates him, to be honest. Probably just to see what having a boyfriend is like.”

Mack looked at her for a second. “Think she feels the same way about you as you do about her?”

Jane looked up at the ceiling again. “I hope so,” she said quietly. She closed her eyes and nodded. “I think she does. The way she acted every time I looked at a guy...well, that wasn’t normal for just a friend.”

Mack looked over at her. “You know, this whole thing isn’t your fault.”

Jane sighed. “If we’d just talked about this a year ago, none of this would have happened.”

“You didn’t realize a year ago.”

“True. Guess it takes something like this to make you realize how deeply you feel.” Jane sighed. “If I’d wanted to see what having a boyfriend was like, I probably shouldn’t have picked the first guy who looked at me in a bar. Though it’s not like there’s a lot of options in Lawndale High.”

“Oh, come on.” Mack smiled. “You know, a lot of guys think you’re hot.”

“No way,” said Jane disbelievingly.

“Yes way. You know, I hear the team talking and stuff. Both you and Daria have more admirers than you think.”

Jane smiled. “How about that? I hope this works out with her. That’s why I always forgave for anything she did, you know. No matter what. I just couldn’t imagine a world without her. She’s...everything.” She sat back up and looked at Mack. “How about you? What are you going to do about Jodie?”

Mack shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want to lose her as a friend. We never should have slept together. We need to talk. Soon.”

“Hope it works out for you,” said Jane sincerely.

“Hey - you too,” said Mack. “Aren’t we a pair?”

Jane grinned. “Definitely.” Her smiled fell slightly. “I hope she forgives me for what I said tonight.”

“She will.” Mack looked at her. “You two are...well, I think you’d make a great couple.”
Jane smiled. “Yeah. So do I.”

“Jodie and I...we’d make better brother and sister than we do girlfriend and boyfriend.”

Jane made a face. “You mean you slept with your sister?”

Mack frowned and threw a pillow at her. “Shut up.”

Jane dodged it easily, and grinned. “Women, huh?”

“Can’t live with them...”

“Can’t live without them,” finished Jane. “Or at least, a particular one in my case.” She walked over to Mack and kissed him lightly on the side of the mouth. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

“Thank you”, returned Mack. “I didn’t know how much I need to talk until I did.”

“Whoa,” came a voice from the doorway. “Man, what about Jodie?”

Jane and Mack turned to the doorway. Kevin was standing there, a look of surprise on his face.

Jane pulled back from Mack. “Kevin, it’s not what you think.”

“No,” agreed Mack, wiping Jane’s lipstick from the side of his mouth.

“Uh-huh,” said Kevin.

Jane shook her head, then realized something and looked up at Kevin. “Daria! Kevin, is she back?”

“What? Oh, Daria. Yeah. She came back with me.”

“She okay?”

“I guess,” said Kevin thoughtfully. “I did what you said, and followed her to make sure she was okay. She didn’t really seem to want me there, but I’m very persistent.”

“I know,” said Mack ruefully.

“Then she snapped and said a whole bunch of things I didn’t understand. And Jane’s name came up like five hundred times.”

Jane swallowed nervously. “Was she mad?”

Kevin nodded eagerly. “Oh yes.”

“Damn it.” Jane rubbed her head absentmindedly. “I’d better get back to our room.”

“This is your room,” pointed out Mack.

Jane shook her head, trying to clear it. “Oh yes. Sorry.”

“Daria’s wandering around in the lobby,” said Kevin.

“We’d better go,” said Mack. He touched Jane on the shoulder gently. “Hope you work things out.”

“Hey, you too,” said Jane, smiling. “Keep me posted, okay?”

“You too.” Mack and Kevin walked out of the room, leaving Jane alone with her thoughts. After a few minutes of Jane sitting there by herself, the door opened, and Daria walked back in.

“Hey,” she said awkwardly.

“Yo,” said Jane unemotionally.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Sorry for what I said,” said Jane.

“That’s...okay,” said Daria stiffly.

“Where did you go?”

“Just around. Kevin kept following me, for some odd reason. That didn’t help.” She looked up at Jane. “You want to talk about...this?”

Jane looked at her. “No. Um, not yet, okay?”

Daria blinked in surprise. “Okay.” She jerked a thumb back towards her bed. “I’m going to go to sleep now.”

“Okay.”

Daria frowned one last time, and went to bed. Jane did the same, and tried to get over to sleep, thoughts of how she was going to handle this racing through her head.

The following night, O’Neill’s car sped home, the four students and O’Neill inside. (Barch had vanished overnight, with only Mack’s stories to Jane to prove she had even been there).

This time, Daria had insisted on taking the front seat, leaving Jane, Kevin, and Mack in the back seat. Jane still had no clue how she was going to handle this, feeling and emotions racing through her. This was a situation she had absolutely no experience with. The fact that Daria was dating her ex didn’t make it any easier.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win, Daria,” said O’Neill soothingly.

“I didn’t win either,” pointed out Mack.

“Oh. Of course! Sorry.”

“Stupid trip,” muttered Daria.

Jane sighed, and settled back into her seat. Maybe this trip hadn’t been such a bad thing after all. Sure, there had been that raging argument. The one they still hadn’t dealt with. But it had gotten everything out into the open. Now there wasn’t any lingering resentment on Jane’s part. Plus it had made her realize a few things about herself and her relationship with Daria. Things she hadn’t wanted to admit before. All she had to do now was to find a way to talk about them with Daria. Who was still mad about what Jane had said. Jane sighed. This was going to be tricky.

They got back to Lawndale after another somewhat awkward car journey. Mack seemed to be terribly preoccupied, O’Neill clearly didn’t want to set the two of them off again, and Kevin was, well, Kevin. Daria kept sneaking glances at Jane when she thought Jane wasn’t looking, clearly troubled by the fact that Jane was keeping something from her. At least, Jane thought that’s what it was.

After they said their goodbyes, Daria and Jane were left alone outside Lawndale High. They looked at each other for a few awkward moments.

“Well,” said Daria suddenly. “I’d better be off. Home, I mean.”

“Yeah,” said Jane quickly. “Me too.”

“There isn’t anything you...?” Daria tailed off, as Jane shook her head slowly.

“Not yet, okay?” Jane looked at her suddenly. “I just need to know that we’re still friends.”

Daria’s face cracked into a slight smile. “Of course we are.”

Jane smiled. “Okay. We’ll talk later, okay?”

Daria nodded quickly. “Okay. I’ll, um, see you tomorrow?”

Jane nodded. “Yeah. Hey...I’m really sorry again, okay? I didn’t mean to say all that stuff.”

Daria gave her a final, odd look, and began walking back to her house. Jane watched her go, wondering when she should approach her about this. She had a boyfriend. It wouldn’t be right, to break them up like that, would it? Deep down, Jane suspected that she kind of wanted to, but that was a very selfish reason for doing so, so she didn’t want to do it.

She sighed, and began to walk back to her house. A good night’s sleep in her own house, in her own bed, without Daria there to distract her, was what she needed.

Daria continued walking back to her house. She didn’t know why she had asked Jane if there was anything she wanted to talk about. Maybe she was trying to get her to admit to something.

Daria mentally kicked herself. She’d have to stop doing that, otherwise she would give the game away, and Jane would be much to freaked out. Then, things would quickly go down the drain. She had to act normal.

Daria sighed. This was hard. Feelings and emotions were running through her head like they never had before. It had never been like this with Tom. Except for that one kiss, there had barely been any passion in their relationship. And Tom had initiated the kiss. Daria had just returned it, for several convoluted reasons.

Thinking of Tom, she decided she had better call him when she got home, and let him know that the trip had gone all right.

She got home, and headed up to her room, saying hello to her family on the way, and grabbing the cordless phone. Reaching her room, she flopped down on the bed, and dialed Tom’s number. After a few rings, he picked up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Tom.”

“Hey. How was Oakwood?”

“The usual exciting urban sprawl.”

“I know you love scenic trips.”
“Oh yes.” Daria paused. “How was your weekend?”

“Boring, for the most part.”

“Hmm.” Daria sighed slightly.

Tom picked up on that. “Daria? Are you okay?”

“Fine,” said Daria unconvincingly. “Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you think this is going?”

“What?” Tom sounded confused. “What do you mean?”

“Us, I mean.”

“Fine, I guess,” said Tom, still sounding kind of lost. “Daria? Is something wrong?”

“No...no...” said Daria. “Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Busy tomorrow,” said Tom. “I’ve got some stuff at Fielding after school.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” Tom’s voice grew more concerned. “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” Daria sighed. “Night.”

Tom said goodnight, and the phone went dead. Daria set it down, and laid down on the bed. Her mind was still racing. Everything just seemed so big and confusing at the moment. She turned the light off, and tried to go to sleep.

Jane’s image kept filling her head all night.

The next day at school, Jane decided to bite the bullet. While they were at lunch, she leaned over to Daria. “Daria, do you have anything planned for tonight?”

Daria shook her head slowly. “No. Not really.”

“Can you come over tonight?” Jane looked at her. “To talk, I mean.”

“About what?” said Daria reticently.

“Just things...” said Jane.

Daria thought about it for a while, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll do that.”

Jane smiled and sat back in her chair.

That night, they walked to Jane’s house from school. The walk there was silent for the most part. Jane didn’t want to say anything before they got there, and Daria kept giving her some odd looks.

When they did get to her house, they went up to her room, and Jane sat down on the bed. Daria sat opposite her.

Jane took a deep breath. “Look, Daria, about what I said...”
“It’s okay,” said Daria quickly. “It really is.”

Jane blinked in surprise. “But...?”

“Jane, I understand.” Daria looked at her. “I wasn’t treating our relationship like I should, and I’m sorry. It’s as much my fault as it was yours.”

Jane sat with her mouth open, trying to think of something to say. Nothing seemed to be coming out. This was totally unlike Daria. “Um,” she said finally. “But there’s things I wanted to...”

“Jane, it’s okay,” said Daria. “Really. Can we just drop it now? I really want to get back to how things were, please.”

Jane looked at her. There was so much she wanted to say, so much about them that she wanted to get out in the open. She looked at Daria, and saw something in her eyes she hadn’t seen before.

Fear. Daria was practically pleading with her eyes for Jane to let it go. Jane looked at her for a long time. Eventually she nodded. “Okay. I’ll let it go.” This didn’t seem to be the right time for this.

Daria practically breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. Um. I’m glad we sorted that out.”

Sorted what out? thought Jane. They were still in the same place as they had been. She decided to press on a bit further. “Daria...I want to say something.”

“Jane, I...”

“No. Listen, please. I’m sorry, and I just want to say...even though you want to drop this...I want you to know that you’re important to me, okay?”

“I know, Jane,” said Daria nervously. “Please, can we...”

“No, I mean...more than you know. You mean everything to me, Daria. I need you to know that.”

Daria looked like she was sweating. “You are too, Jane. Please...can we drop this? Now?”

Jane looked up at Daria, whose face was lined with terror. She nodded. “Okay.”

And so this continued for the next few weeks. Jane and Daria continued to act as if everything were normal, but Jane could still sense...something going on underneath the surface. However, every time she tried to talk to Daria about it, she brushed her off, or tried to convince Jane that there was nothing there.

Jane was beginning to get rather annoyed about this. She hated not knowing where she stood, and their relationship was a perfect example of that at the moment. She knew that if they didn’t let this all out soon, it would blow up again, and she didn’t want that.

One day, near the end of the school year, Jane was sitting at the Pizza King by herself, sketching something. Things had been going pretty much as usual. She felt as if she and Daria still had some major issues to work out, but Daria still didn’t seem comfortable with them.

Jane had gone through a major jealous patch recently, when Daria and Tom had nearly slept together. She knew it wasn’t going to be long until he tried that. He’d tried that on her near the end of their relationship, and Jane had point-blank refused.

She’d tried not to let her feelings show to Daria too much during this incident, just wanting to be a good friend to her, and not push her away. Secretly, though, she’d been hoping with all her heart that Daria wouldn’t go through with it.

Jane smiled. And so she hadn’t. Bad for Tom. Good for her. Maybe she was flattering herself a little, but maybe Daria’s decision had had something to do with Jane? Jane shook her head. She still didn’t know for sure that Jane felt the same way - just a hunch.

“Hey,” came a voice from above her. Jane looked up, and smiled when she saw who it was.

“Hi, Mack.”

“May I?” he said, indicating the seat opposite her.

“Be my guest.”

Mack sat down opposite her. “How are you doing, Jane?”

“Pretty good,” she said.

“Really?” Mack cocked his head to the side slightly. “It’s just...things don’t seem to have changed, and...well, I was curious.”

Jane smiled. “Thank you for being concerned, but I’m fine.” She sighed. “Daria and I...just haven’t found the right time to talk about this.”

“Oh.”

Jane leaned in close. “Can I be honest with you?” Mack nodded. “I think she knows.”

“Knows what?” Mack frowned.

“How...I feel. I think she knows what I’m going to say, and she doesn’t want me to say it.” Jane sighed. “I mean, I keep trying to talk to her, but when I bring it up, she always finds somewhere else to go, or something else to do. Every time, without fail.”

“Why not?”

Jane shrugged. “Either she doesn’t feel the same, and doesn’t want me to make an ass of myself...or she does, and she’s scared at what’ll happen.”

“Ah,” said Mack. “And which one...?”

“The second one,” said Jane. “I hope.”

“It’ll work out,” said Mack reassuringly. “Trust me. You guys are perfect together.”

“Hmm.” Jane looked away for a brief second, then back to Mack. “So...?”

“So what?”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “You and Jodie, Mackenzie. What’s up with you two? I shared, now it’s your turn.”

“Oh.”

“I’m guessing prom went okay. I heard you two were king and queen. Again.”

Mack smiled wryly. “Big surprise there.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re cool. She...” Mack laughed slightly. “She saw right through me. Tried to hide these things, but she did it. As usual.”

“What do you mean?”

“She knew. About the money troubles and stuff.”

“So what did you do?”

“We...worked out an arrangement.”

“And your relationship?”

Mack smiled. “We talked. I mean, really talked for the first time in months. Everything we’ve been hiding, everything we’ve been bottling up, just came right out.”

“Wow.”

Mack nodded. “So we reached an agreement. This is a stressful time for both of us, what with graduating, and waiting for college acceptance...so we’re not going to do anything just yet.” He smiled. “We’re going to wait until after graduation, whenever all this is over with, and we’re going to look at our relationship, and see where we want to be.”

“What do you think is going to happen?”

Mack shrugged. “I don’t know. But you know, at least we won’t make a stupid decision in the heat of the moment and not talk to each other for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t handle that.”

Jane half-smiled. “I know what you mean.”

“You’ll sort this out, Jane. I know it.” Mack smiled. “And if you wait until high school is over, you’ll be free of all the close-minded idiots here.”

“Yeah,” said Jane. “I’m sure there’ll be a whole new group of closed-minded idiots after that.”

Mack smiled and got up. “See you round, Jane. Good luck.”

“Hey, you too,” said Jane.

Mack waved a short goodbye, and left. Jane smiled a little to herself, and went back to sketching.

Things started to look up for Jane in another week. It started when Daria started behaving oddly around a large cardboard box that had been used to transport a fridge. Daria was really beginning to act strangely, and it was quite worrying for Jane.

She had climbed into the box, and stayed there for quite a while. Jane had been really worried, but Mrs. Morgendorffer had assured her that everything would be quite all right, and that she should just go home. Jane had left reluctantly. She suspected that Daria’s parents wanted to talk to her alone, once Mr. Morgendorffer got home.

Once she had arrived home, though, not thirty minutes had passed when she got a call from Daria, sounding as confused and scared as Jane had ever heard her. She had been mumbling something about an accident.

So, naturally, Jane was in the car and on the interstate in five minutes. Daria had been at a small roadside cafe, and when Jane got out to meet her, all she did was run up and hug Jane.

Jane had been so confused. This wasn’t like Daria at all. On the other hand, she felt really, really, good. Jane had slipped her arm around Daria, and had just held her there. In fact, Jane had begun to get distracted by the feel of her body, and the smell of her hair, before realizing that this was not the right time or place.

And now they were sitting at a table. Daria had finally opened up, and had talked for maybe two hours straight about things she’d never talked about before. The subject of she and Jane hadn’t come up, of course, but it had been the first time she had really talked. Really talked.

Jane sighed, as Daria finished telling her about how she felt she had been a burden to her family. “You really need to discuss this with them.”

Daria shrugged. “I know, but first I had to talk to someone I could trust.”

Jane smiled sadly. Tom had been the first person she had wanted to see in this situation. That did not bode well. “Yeah, I'm sorry you didn't make it to the cove.”

Daria looked at her. “I'm not. It would have been good to see Tom. But this way, I got to talk to the person I trust most.”

Jane looked up at Daria slowly, feeling a small, happy smile form across her face. Did Daria just say what she thought she’d said? She looked at her, and saw Daria smiling back. For a moment, anything seemed possible. “Daria...” she began, and then tailed off.

“What?” said Daria.

Jane smiled at her. This wasn’t the right time. Daria needed to be with her family right now. “We’ll talk later.”

Daria nodded, and they left the cafe together.

Daria and Tom broke up a few weeks later. It was long overdue, in Daria’s opinion. She’d been carrying on the relationship far too long for all the wrong reasons, and it wasn’t fair to anyone, much less Tom. They should have broken up a long time ago, and she thought they both realized it.

It was fairly amicable. No fireworks (which aptly described the state of things between them the past few months). They parted friends, and even agreed to meet up in a year to see how things were going.

Daria didn’t know if they would or not. They didn’t seem to have that great of a connection. More than likely, they would just go their separate ways and forget about each other. She doubted this time was going to occupy that great of a space in Tom’s mind.

In her mind, on the other hand...

If it hadn’t been for this whole Tom thing, she didn’t know how things would have gone between Jane and her. Maybe they would still be friends, and she would never have realized how much she felt for her. Maybe another guy would have entered the picture, and things would have gone exactly the same. There was no way to tell.

Daria sighed. She was in her room, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, and thought about things. Mainly Jane-related things, but still.

Daria had been dreading the end of school, figuring that Jane and her would end up going to colleges in separate cities, and their friendship would suffer. Then there was the whole dilemma of whether to tell her how she felt before they went their separate ways.

Now, though, it turned out that Jane was going to exactly the same city she was. That made the whole thing both a lot better, and a lot worse.

On the one hand, she wouldn’t be apart from Jane, and she didn’t have to make a decision before they left.

On the other hand, she would still be close to Jane, and the decision of whether to tell her or not was still going to be a day to day thing now.

Daria sighed. She had had a plan. She wasn’t going to tell Jane, and stick with Tom. If she told Jane, it opened things up to lots of potential problems, and she was scared to death of losing her.

Of course, now Tom was gone. That put paid to some of her plan.

It had been a stupid plan, anyway, Daria mused. How could she have hoped to keep a relationship with a guy she barely had any feelings for?

And Jane...

Once again, flurries of ‘what if’ and ‘but’ flooded through her mind. For every positive thing she thought of about it, countless negative ones countered it.

Daria wanted to be with Jane. She knew that. But she was scared - scared to death - to do anything about it. This was a messy situation. Maybe she could emigrate to Mongolia or something, and live as a yak. That would solve most of her problems right there.

There was a brief knock on her door, and she heard it open.

“I said I was okay,” she said, not opening her eyes.

“I know, Daria,” said her mother. “But you know parents. They kind of want to check these things.”

“Hmm,” said Daria, opening her eyes. Her mother was sitting next to her bed, a concerned look on her face. “I really am okay,” she repeated.

“Just checking, Daria.” Helen sighed. “I’m sorry about Tom.”

“It’s okay,” said Daria. “I mean, it really is. You must have seen it coming.”

“Yes, I did,” said Helen. “Your father, on the other hand...I just had to spend the last hour convincing him not to go after Tom. He thought he’d ‘taken your innocence’, as he put it.”

“Ah,” said Daria.

“Which of course, he didn’t. Right?”

Daria frowned at her mother. “Mom...”

“Well, I had to check.” Helen sighed. Did you see it coming? The end, I mean?”

“We were never really compatible, were we? And it didn’t exactly start on the right foot, did it?”

“Well, no...”

Daria sighed. “Mom?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“It was like...you know how you get into a relationship for reasons that aren’t the best, and then you decide to stick with it, not because of any great emotional connection, but just because you think you should, for one reason or another?”

Helen didn’t say anything.

“That was kind of like how it was with me and Tom,” said Daria, with a sigh.

“Oh,” said Helen. “I’m sorry.” She paused. “How are you feeling?”

“Confused.”

“About what?”

“The future.”

“Well, it is a big time of change. I mean, practically everything in your life is changing right about now, and that isn’t easy.” She smiled. “At least you’ll have Jane with you in Boston.”

“Uh-huh,” said Daria awkwardly.

Helen frowned. “Daria, is everything okay with you and Jane?”

“It’s...” Daria tailed off. She didn’t want to say too much. “It’s kind of awkward right now.”

“Why?”

“It...just is.”

“Oh.” Helen took the hint. “Daria, you and Jane will get through this.” She paused. “Can I tell you the truth?”

“Sure.”

“Sometimes, I’m a little jealous.”

Daria frowned. “Jealous? Why?”

“I’ve never had a friend who’s been a close as you and her are. You can always confide in each other, rely on each other. I wish I’d had a friend like that in High School.”

“Oh,” said Daria quietly.

“You might be going down a rough path at the moment, but what you have is special. You won’t lose that, not without something pretty major. And by that I mean more major than a boy.” Helen smiled.

Daria looked at her, a small smile on her face. “I guess you’re right.”
Helen stood up. “Well, I’d better leave you alone. I’m sure you have a lot to think about.”

“Yeah.” Helen walked towards the door. “Mom?”

She turned. “Yes?”

“Thanks.”

Helen smiled and left, closing the door behind her. Daria lay her head back down on the pillow, thought about Jane, and smiled. Maybe things would work out, after all.

Jane sat back in her chair, and smiled. They were in the Pizza King, right after graduation. They had decided to come here to celebrate. They were going to be in Boston together for the next four years, a thought that filled Jane with a great deal of happiness. She wasn’t even going to go for university, but Daria had talked her into it.

Now they were both going to be in Boston. That had to mean something, didn’t it? And now Tom was gone. Jane made up her mind. They had to do this. Now. The time was right, she thought. “Daria,” she said slowly.

Daria looked up from her breadstick. “Yes?”

“What do you want to do after we finish here?”

Daria looked at her strangely. “I don’t have any plans. Why?”

“Why don’t we go back to Casa Lane? You know, make university plans, that sort of thing.”

Daria shrugged. “Okay.”

Jane took a deep breath, and stood up, ready to go. This was either going to go very well, or very badly.

They reached Jane’s house in a few minutes. Trent was asleep (naturally), so they bypassed the living room, and went on up to Jane’s room. When they go there, Jane looked at Daria. She took a deep breath. “Daria?”

“Yeah?”

“We need to talk.”

Daria frowned. “About what?”

Jane indicated the bed, and Daria sat down. Jane sat opposite in a chair.

Daria looked at her for a few seconds. “So what did you want to talk to me about?” she said nervously.

Jane took a deep breath. “What I said in the restaurant that night. Back in Oakwood.”

“Oh.” Daria’s jaw set. “I see.”

“Look, I know we haven’t talked about it much yet, and you’re probably still mad about what I said...”

“No. Not mad,” said Daria, looking down at the floor. “Not mad. Jane, I said we could drop it, okay?”

Jane sighed. “I know. I know I hurt you, okay? But it was months ago, and we need to talk about it, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You sure sounded like you meant to.” Daria shook her head. “I’m sorry. That didn’t come quite out the way I wanted it to.”

“I know,” said Jane sadly. “Back then, all that we said to each other came out as an insult or a putdown.”

“Yeah.” Daria tried to smile. “I didn’t know you were so good at them. I thought I was the queen of bitchiness.”

“Oh, you outstrip me when you want to.”

“Thank you,” said Daria sarcastically. “Thank you very much.”

Jane and Daria shared a brief smile. Jane looked away. “Remember when we used to act that way all the time? All that easy camaraderie we had?”

Daria nodded. “I remember.” She looked up at Jane. “I miss that,” she said quietly.

“Me too.” Jane looked at her. “I...wanted to talk to you about what I said because I had everything that was in my head straight.”

“Lot in there?”

Jane smiled wryly. “The way I’d been acting, you’d think there hadn’t been anything in there.”

“Hey, I didn’t want to say it.” Daria looked at her. “Um, so did you? Get your thoughts together, I mean?”

Jane nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I did.”

“And?” Daria swallowed nervously.

“And I’m sorry. I really am, for what I said.”

“You already apologized,” said Daria. “Jane, we don’t need to talk...”

“I know. But...I wanted to do it again.”

“You didn’t need to,” said Daria, glancing quickly at Jane. “You really didn’t. I mean, I was angry, but then you apologized, and I let it go, because I really don’t...”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t want to have you not be my friend. I went a whole summer without it, and I didn’t want to do that again. One apology is enough for me these days.”

“There isn‘t another reason?,” said Jane, frowning a little.

“No reason,” said Daria quickly. “Things are fine. Really. Can we drop this?”

“Things haven’t been the same with us for over a year, have they?” said Jane, sighing. “I mean, we don’t have the same sort of...relationship that we used to have, do we?”

Daria didn’t say anything. “We were getting it back,” she said quietly.

Jane nodded. “But it was mostly gone, wasn’t it?”

Daria remained silent.

“I know,” said Jane. “You don’t want to say anything, but I know what you’re thinking. Since I met Tom.”

Daria nodded curtly. “I didn’t want to...you know.”

Jane shook her head. “When I let Tom take me out that night, I didn’t think I’d still be feeling the repercussions from it over a year later.”

“Me neither.” Daria looked at her. “I hoped he’d dump you.” Seeing Jane’s look, she shrugged. “I’m sorry. But I did.”

“You sure did the best you could to get him to dump me.”

“Sorry.”

“Mm.” Jane smiled slightly. “You know, it really seems funny, looking back, at how horribly obvious you were being. You were acting like such a jealous bitch, weren’t you?”

Daria nodded, then frowned. “Obvious about what?” She looked like she was starting to get nervous again.

Jane pressed on. “Then came the Tom thing.”

“Oh.” Daria stared down at the floor. “That.”

“Never talked about that, either, did we?”

“Hoped we never would.” Daria looked at her. “Jane, I can’t...”

“That’s part of the problem, Daria. We both bottle things up so much, it’s not healthy.” Jane looked at her. “Daria, I’m sick of this. We’re going to stay in this room until we talk about this, okay?”

Daria didn’t say anything. Eventually, she just nodded slowly.

Jane smiled wryly. “You know what we did?”

“We just wanted back together so badly, we just pretended things were back to normal, and never brought it up again.” Daria raised an eyebrow. “Who says we’re not on the same level anymore?”

Jane grinned. “Point taken.”

“But things weren’t back to normal, were they?” Daria sighed. “Even I could see that.”

“No,” Jane agreed. “They weren’t.”

“The cracks still showed, didn’t they?”

“Big time.”

“And then there was...is...Tom.”

“Tom.”

“Tom.”

Jane sighed. “Are we just going to say his name over and over again?”

“No.” Daria looked at her. “You never wanted me to date him, did you?”

“No. Not in a million years. When you did...well, it just made things so much worse.”

“I’m sorry, but...”

“Why?” Jane looked at her. “Why did you do it?”

“Why did you do it?” Daria stared at Jane. “Why did you start to go out with him in the first place? Why did you keep it going after you knew...knew that it was over?”

Jane looked down at the floor. “To see if I could. To see if...”

“...I could date a guy and be normal,” finished Daria quietly.

There was a short silence. The two girls looked at each other for a long time, without saying anything.

“How screwed up are we?” asked Jane, smiling slightly. “That has to be the worst reason for dating a guy, ever.”

“You first,” said Daria. “Come on. Why did you go out with him that night in the Zon?”

“He was a cute guy. He was interested in me. There was a...need in my life that I wasn’t getting. I thought I could go out with him, see if it would fill that need. See if I could make a relationship with a guy work.”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to make a relationship with a guy work?” said Daria apprehensively.

Jane shook her head. “You next. Why? Why the Tom thing?”

Daria stared at the floor for a while. “Same as you.”

“Why Tom? My boyfriend.”

Daria shook her head. “It was a weird time, you know? There was a lot of stuff going on...but you know I never had any sort of feeling for him before that.”

“I know,” said Jane quietly.

“You just assumed.” Daria sighed. “I was beginning to warm up to him as a friend, but that was it. I didn’t think about doing anything with him until he kissed me in the car that night.”

“You kissed him back.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Why?”

Daria glanced up at Jane. “You really want to know? I mean, really?”

Jane nodded slowly. “Yes. Please.”

“To get back at you.”

Jane blinked in surprise. “What?”

“You asked.” Daria looked down at the floor again. “You made my life so miserable by accusing me at every step and acting like such a cow that...I don’t know what I thought.”

Jane was silent for a bit. “This is getting kind of weird.”

“Yeah,” said Daria ruefully. “Isn’t it?”

“You did it to hurt me?”

“No! Not...I don’t know. I felt like you almost wanted me to, to give you an excuse to break it off, or something...I...” Daria tailed off. “I didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. I got in the car, and the next thing I know, Tom’s sticking his tongue down my throat.”

“And you kiss him back because of me?”

“Yes. Not him.” Daria looked at her. “It was wrong. But we were at such a weird point in our relationship at that time, weren’t we?”

“Yeah.” Jane looked at her. “I’m sorry I gave you such a rough time over that year.”

“I’m sorry I gave you such a rough time.” Daria looked at her. “And the...kiss.”
“It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me why you did it.”

“Not to me either,” sighed Daria. “But I did.”

“Then you dated him.”

“You didn’t want me to.”

“No.”

“Why did you say I should?”

“I wanted you to say no,” said Jane softly. “I wanted you to tell me that I was more important.”

“Oh...”
“Why didn’t you?” said Jane suddenly.
“I...wanted to see what being in a relationship was like,” said Daria, in a guilty tone.

“With my ex?”

“He was available...and you weren’t talking to me much.”

“No. I was angry, and Daria, you can’t really blame me.”

“No.” Daria closed her eyes. “I just...wanted to see if I could do it, you know?”

“Yeah,” said Jane quietly. “I know.”
“Be in a relationship...and...”

“And what?” said Jane.

“Have it be as good as being with you was,” said Daria softly.

Jane looked at her. There was a long silence in the room. The two girls shuffled nervously, and tried not to look each other directly in the eyes. Finally Jane spoke up. “We are pretty good together, aren’t we?”

Daria nodded. “Just the two of us. I miss that.”

“Yeah.” Jane rubbed her neck nervously. “You know, the past few months, I’ve been feeling what you were feeling, I think. When I was with Tom, and you weren’t.”

“Oh.”

“Not a pleasant feeling. And you know what?”

Daria raised an eyebrow.

“It’s kind of similar to what I was feeling when I was with Tom.”

Daria shook her head. “I don’t get you.”

“I miss you. I missed you then.” Jane said it quickly, just trying to get the words out. “When my relationship with him was crumbling, I wanted to be with you. But you were with him. It was the same then. I mean, it got better, but that‘s what I was feeling.”

“That’s why you got so weird over the prom.” Daria looked at Jane for a moment, then looked back down to the floor.

“Yeah.” Jane glanced uncomfortably to the side. “Um. I may be saying a little too much here, but I was jealous.”

“Oh,” said Daria, in a very unsurprised tone.

“And I might be going even farther here, by saying that I think you feel, and have always felt...the same way.”

“Oh,” said Daria again. Jane glanced at her, and saw that she was fidgeting an awful lot more than normal. Guess that meant she’d hit the nail on the head.

“You’re not saying much, Daria,” said Jane reticently.

“No,” said Daria stiffly. “No, I’m not.”

Jane decided to press on. “Do you know why I forgave you for the Tom thing? And everything else you’ve done?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“Because...” Jane took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to...”

“What?” said Daria nervously. “What?”

“I didn’t...want to live in a world without you,” said Jane, very apprehensively.

“Oh,” was all Daria could say.

“You’re being really talkative tonight,” said Jane, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yes,” said Daria. “Um...I do too.”

“Do what?”

“Not want to do that,” Daria said, shifting her gaze from one side of the room to the next.

“Oh. I see.” Jane scratched her head. “And I know that doesn’t excuse any of my behavior, or anything, but it was all because I was jealous, okay?”

“I did the same things, Jane,” said Daria quietly.

“Yeah.” Jane and Daria sat, meeting each other’s gaze for the next few moments.

“Aren’t we screwed up?” said Daria, with a small grin on her face.

“Yeah.” Jane rubbed her forehead. “We are.” She glanced at Daria again. “Things are changing, aren’t they?”

“They already have,” said Daria sadly. “Ever since you met Tom in the Zon, things couldn’t go back to the things they were.”

Jane nodded slowly. “I think this has made us both realize some things about ourselves, hasn’t it?”

Daria nodded in return, then she shook her head angrily. “I didn’t want things to change. I was happy with the way things were.”

“No. No, neither of us were, were we?” Jane said. “If we had been, we wouldn’t have been trying to fill holes in our lives with people that didn’t belong there.”

Daria didn’t say anything.

“You know another reason why I think you tried it with Tom?”

Daria shrugged.

“You did it because you’d seen what he was like with me, and you knew it couldn’t work.”

Daria looked up at her. “How is it that you know me so well, Jane?”

“Practice.” Jane smiled at her. “I’m right, aren’t I? That’s why you didn’t sleep with him when you had the chance.”

Daria sighed, and nodded. “You’re right. Damn it.” The last part was quieter, almost directed at herself.

There was another brief silence. Jane cleared her throat and looked at Daria nervously. “We’re kind of talking around the subject, not on it, aren’t we?”

Daria nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

“So...?”

Daria looked away again. “This is all...kind of scary, Jane, I mean, this is kind of new territory for us. Where I think we’re going, that is. And...”

“And what?”

Daria shook her head. “I don’t know. I...need to think about this, okay?”

Jane threw her hands up in the air. “God! Daria, you always over-analyze things, don’t you?”

“Jane, I’m sure this isn’t easy for you either, okay?” She looked at Jane. “I mean, did you ever...before I came along, I mean?”

Jane shook her head. “You?”

“No.” Daria looked at her. “Jane, this is scaring the hell out of me, you know that?”

“Why?”

“Because...it means letting you in all the way, doesn’t it? And if you do that...”

“I wouldn’t,” said Jane quickly. “I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“How do you know?”

“I...I just know, okay?” Jane looked at her. “We can’t go back to pretending that we don’t...feel this way, can we?”

Daria thought for a moment. Finally, she said, “No,” a little sadly.

Jane decided to bite the bullet. “Look, Daria. Over the past few years, we’ve been practically inseparable, haven’t we? Then, one of us gets involved with a guy, and we both start feeling pretty miserable about it. I know that I’m only dating him to see what it’s like, if I can, that sort of thing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then you do it. With the same guy, I might add.”

“Thank you for reminding me.”

Jane smiled slightly. “Okay. You know you’re only doing it for the same reasons, and you’ve picked the same guy because you know that it can’t work. He can’t get close to you, and you don’t want him to.”

“Yeah.” Daria sighed. “Even though Amy told me to.”

“Well, she can’t be right all the time.” Jane grinned. “Then we both realize that while the other one is dating, we’re feeling like jealous harridans, and are totally miserable. How long does it take you to figure out what’s really going on?”

Daria looked at the floor. “It depends if you’re trying not to admit it to yourself, or not.”

“I’ve realized it,” said Jane, beseechingly. “I know you have too. We have to figure something out, Daria, or we’re not going to make it as friends, you know that.”

Daria didn’t say anything, but didn’t meet Jane’s gaze, and nodded slightly.

Jane took a deep breath, and took Daria’s hands in hers. Daria looked up at her, a mix of confusion and fear in her eyes. Jane looked into her deep brown eyes, and steeled herself.

“Daria...”

“What?” said Daria apprehensively.

“I...care for you...a lot,” said Jane, nervously. “If there’s a chance we could do this....I want to.”

Daria looked into Jane’s eyes. “I care for you too, Jane.”

“I mean, before I met you...I would never have...you know...but you’re different. I’ve never felt this way with anyone.” Jane cocked her head to the side slightly. “I mean, you feel this too, don’t you? I’m not just going crazy here, am I?”

Daria shook her head slowly. “No. You’re not crazy. But...” She looked away.

Jane squeezed her hands a little tighter. “Daria, what’s wrong? Talk to me, okay?”

“Jane...” Daria looked back. “Jane, I’m scared. To death. What if this doesn’t work? What if we try this, and it goes so badly that we fall out and we never talk to each other ever again?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“We’ve fallen out before. I’ve hurt you before. You’ve hurt me before.”

“But we’ve always made back up,” said Jane. “What we have is pretty damn strong, Daria. Admit it.”

Daria nodded nervously. “Okay. I admit it. But...”

“You’ve already let me in,” said Jane. “I know you like no-one else ever has, don’t I?”

Daria nodded again.

“I won’t hurt you,” said Jane softly. “I love you too much for that.”

Daria’s hands went stiff in Jane’s. “You...”

Jane nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

Daria glanced away for a second, then went back to Jane’s eyes. “I’ve...never said it before. To anyone, I mean.”

“Don’t rush it,” said Jane quietly. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

“When...when did you know?”

“Back then. At the restaurant. Right after that, I had a long talk, and I realized a couple of things about myself.”

“Talk?” Daria frowned. “With who?”

“Mack.”

“Mack?”

Jane nodded. “He came to see if I was okay. We got to talking, and you know...”

“Oh.” Daria raised an eyebrow. “You knew back then, and you waited all this time?”

“You had a boyfriend. I didn’t want to break you two up, or anything.” Jane looked at her. “Plus, I kept trying to talk to you about it. You didn’t want to, remember?”

“I...” Daria sighed. “I knew what you were going to say, and I wasn’t ready.”

“Plus you were dating Tom.”

“You wouldn’t have tried to break us up, would you?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Yes,” said Daria pointedly. “Yes you did.”

Jane grinned. “Maybe I did. But...I don’t think it would have been a good idea.”

“You knew it wouldn’t last.”

“So did you.”

“True.”

Jane glanced at her. “So when did you know?”

“I’ve known for years, Jane.” Daria sighed. “I just tried to bury it with crushes and denial. I‘d almost convinced myself I didn‘t have feelings for you, to be honest.”

“Why?”

Daria sighed again. “I didn’t want to ruin everything. By telling you.”

“If we’d have talked to each other before I met Tom...”

Daria shrugged. “Let’s not go over the past again and again.”

“Good idea.” Jane sighed. “So what now?”

“We can’t go back. Not now.” Daria shrugged a little. “It would be awkward as hell.”

“We can do this, Daria. You know it. We’re both going to Boston. It’s going to be easy.”

“Easy? Jane, relationships with me are never easy.”

Jane grimaced. “Don’t I know it.”

Daria frowned. “Thank you very much.”

Jane grinned. “Kidding.” She squeezed Daria’s hands a little tighter. “Daria, I know there could be problems, but we could be so good together, couldn’t we?”

Daria didn’t say anything, but she did smile that little half-smile of hers.

Jane decided to go for broke, and moved over onto the bed beside Daria. Daria looked a little surprised, but didn’t shy away.

“So,” said Jane, smiling a little.

“So,” said Daria, returning the smile.

“Are we...?”

Daria paused for a moment. “I don’t know, Jane. I mean, it took so long for us to even get to talking about it...and I’m nervous. I’m really nervous.”

Jane looked at her. “Daria,” she said pleadingly. “You know we can’t go back now. We’ve said too much. It would be way too awkward. And you want this, don’t you?”

Daria nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

Jane felt Daria’s hands squeezing hers a little tighter.

“Let’s do this,” said Daria softly, smiling at Jane.

Jane smiled, a very large, and very happy smile.

“My parents,” said Daria suddenly.

“What about them?”

Daria shrugged. “Just wondering how they’re going to react.”

“Hey, your parents like me.”

“They like you as my friend, Jane, not my girlfriend.”

“They’ll be okay with it, I’m sure.” Jane grinned, and raised an eyebrow. “Quinn might be mortified.”

“That’s reason enough to do this,” said Daria. She smiled. “No, Quinn’s more mature now. She’ll be okay.” She looked up at Jane. “Your family...?”

“Trent’ll be fine with it, you know that.”

“Your mom and dad?” Daria shook her head. “Never mind.”

Jane shrugged. “Yeah.” She looked at Daria, and smiled. “I love you.”

Daria smiled back. “I know. I...do, as well.”

“It’s a start.” Jane looked deep into her eyes. She suddenly became very aware of how close they were sitting, how deeply she was breathing, and how beautiful Daria looked. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Daria raised an eyebrow. “You know, I think you’re the first person who’s ever told me that.”

“You’re kidding.” Jane frowned. “What about Tom?”

“Ha,” said Daria sarcastically.

Jane smiled. “You remember when you tried to meet Tom at the cove, and you got in that accident?”

Daria nodded. “Yeah?”

“And I went to meet you and when I got there, you hugged me?”

“Yes,” said Daria quietly.

“All that went through my mind when you did that was how...nice you felt, and how amazing your hair smelt...”

Daria smiled that little half-smile of hers. “I know. I did too.”

Jane reached out her hand, and placed it on Daria’s cheek. Her skin felt smooth to the touch, and she could feel Daria shiver a little as she touched her. She took off Daria’s glasses, and laid them to the side. Jane stroked her cheek a little, and leaned in. She could see Daria doing the same. Jane closed her eyes as they got closer, and she felt her lips brush against Daria’s. They felt soft, and Jane moved in to kiss her...

The door opened with a creak, and Daria and Jane drew back suddenly from each other. They shared a quick, nervous glance, and Jane looked around.

Trent was standing in the doorway. “Hey, Janey? Do you have a ten...?” He frowned, as he looked at the two girls. “Um...”

Jane frowned. “Trent, haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

“Well, I...” Trent tailed off. “Did I interrupt something?”

“Yes,” said the two together.

“Oh.” Trent looked sheepish. “Sorry.” He stood in the doorway for a few awkward moments, before taking the unspoken hint. “Well, I’d better be off, then. Hope you two can get back to whatever it was that you were doing.” He turned, gave them both a final, confused look, and left.

Jane turned to Daria, who had shuffled a little further away from her on the bed, picking back up her glasses, but not putting them on just yet. She sighed. It felt like the moment had been lost a little.

“Maybe I’d better go,” said Daria. “I mean, I have a lot to think about. This doesn’t happen every day, you know.”

Jane nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

Daria grabbed her jacket, and stood up. Jane did the same. There was an awkward silence. Jane and Daria looked at each other for a few seconds, then looked away.

For one horrible moment, Jane thought Daria was having second thoughts. But then she did something that shocked Jane.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Jane’s, just lightly. Jane was taken by surprise at first, but then realized what was happening. Daria’s lips were soft, and they felt good. Jane suddenly realized why Tom had been so keen to kiss her again after that first one.

Their lips parted for a brief second, and they pulled apart - just a few inches - and looked into each other’s eyes.

“Wow,” said Daria softly.

Jane felt the slight warmth of Daria’s breath on her face, smiled, and stroked her face gently. Daria’s hands slipped around Jane’s waist, and they came together for another kiss. They kissed each other gently, and parted, kissing each other softly again and again. Jane ran her hand through Daria’s thick, luxurious hair, breathing in her scent, her taste, everything.

Daria opened her mouth slightly in invitation, and Jane took advantage of it.

After a few minutes of wonderful, amazing kisses, Jane and Daria parted, and looked at each other. With some surprise, Jane found that she was sweating. Daria looked like she was doing the same.

“Well,” said Daria. “Um. I...that was...”

“Yeah.” Jane nodded. “Yeah, it was.”

“So,” said Daria, quickly putting her glasses back on. “Where do we go from here?”

“Where do you want to go from here?”

Daria thought for a few minutes. Eventually she smiled at Jane, a happier smile than Jane had ever seen. “I want to be with you.”

Jane smiled back. “Still have to go?”

Daria nodded sadly. “Promised my Mom I’d meet her tonight. I think they‘re taking me to dinner for graduation.”

“What are you going to tell her?”

“Nothing.”

Jane frowned.

“We can do that together,” said Daria.

Jane smiled. “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Count on it.” Daria turned to leave, and then turned around again, and kissed Jane again. “Bye,” she said quietly.

“I love you,” said Jane.

Daria smiled, and left. Jane fell back on the bed and let out a heavy sigh. Things were changing all right. Now she felt like they were changing for the better. She lay back on the bed, looked up at the ceiling, and smiled. All the worry, all the feelings, all the pain she’d been holding inside her for the last few months was just flowing right out of her now.

She was in love. She was in a relationship with someone who loved her back, and they were going to both be in Boston for the next few years.

There were still going to be problems, things they had to overcome. It wasn’t a guarantee that their lives would be easy from now on. But now she had someone to share it with. Daria and her would work, she knew it in her heart. She closed her eyes, and smiled.

Jane Lane, for the first time in almost a year, was truly happy.

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