"Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, football-head" (a Daria/Hey Arnold! /The Powerpuff Girls/Beavis and Butt-head crossover) by Chuckie Finster PpG Narrator: The city of Lawndale (short pause) wait a minute, this isn't Townsville (sounds of flipping pages) oh, I see, now where was I? (clearing throat) The city of Lawndale, I know, I know this isn't Townsville but this town and other cities besides Townsville will play a major role in today's adventure. (close-up of Lawndale High School) The joys of high school, (Kevin and Brittany kissing in the hallway) first loves, (passing through the cafeteria) bad cafeteria food, (running through the hallway) and most of all, (stops at the speaker and xylophone sounds boom on the speakers) shhhhh... Ms. Li: (on speaker) Could I have Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane in the office? (Principal's Office, someone knocks on the door) Ms. Li: Come in. (Daria and Jane come in) Ms. Li: You girls are our first participants in our study buddy activity and the rewards are sweet are well, if your study buddy passes his or her exam or test you'll get straight A's or you get your permanent mark gets removed from your file which means clean slate, not only that to get enough people to support me on my metal detector suggestion. Jane: A dream come true if Upchuck were here. I'll take it. Ms. Li: Here are the pictures Ms. Lane. (Ms. Li hands out pictures of Arnold, Helga, Gerald, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup) Jane: Hey, they're kinda cute. Daria: Except for football-head, broom-haired girl and tall hair boy, but for me, I'm not sure. Ms. Li: Think about it, straight A's. Daria: Ok, Ok, but it won't make any difference between my parents. PpG Narrator: Meanwhile at P.S. 118. Mr. Simmons: Ok class, this is your aptitude test and I'm about to call the passing students, Harold... Curly... Rhonda.... Iggy... Sid... Nadine (5 minutes later) and Stinky. Sorry Arnold, Helga and Gerald but not to worry for this test won't affect your grade but I'm afraid but to give you guys study buddies to get ready for the big test 10 days from now. Arnold: Where are we supposed to meet these study buddies? Mr. Simmons: Lawndale, tomorrow. (hallway) Helga: Study buddies? CRIMINY! Arnold: Mr. Simmons could be right, we do need a little more practice... Gerald: (interrupts) ...or either that NEVER cram on the last day. Arnold: Come on Helga, give this study buddy thing a chance. Helga: All right, all right, if it would make you shut up. PpG Narrator: And finally the city of Townsville, at the mayor's office... Mayor: You're Townsville's crimefighters but there is a problem on your studies, I know your grades are great but the big shapes test is coming up and I assigned you some study buddies, you must go to Lawndale next week, but for now I want you to take this and have a week off. (the mayor takes out an envelope) Bl, Bu, B. Cup: Wha..? B. Cup: (while opening it) What's this? Mayor: 4 tickets to see the new Will Smith movie "Wild Wild West" Blossom: We haven't seen this one this summer, we were too busy, thanks Mayor. Mayor: Don't mention it. (flying home) Bubbles: Are we sure we need study buddies? Blossom: He's got a point, we did save Townsville 24/7. B. Cup: Besides, we haven't seen a movie in weeks, we needed a break. (all of a sudden, we see an overshadowed 4 year old girl crossing the street with the don't walk sign on and a cat stuck on a tree) Blossom: Let's roll! (the girls first save the cat on the tree and put the cat on the ground, by the time they got to the girl, she was face down) Bubbles: NOOOOOOOOO! B. Cup: Wait, she's not dead. Bubbles: Oh, nevermind. (the girls leave) (the next day at Lawndale High) (BGM: "All Day" by Lisa Loeb) (Principal's office, Daria and Jane are inside; someone knocks on the door) Ms. Li: Come in. (it was Arnold, Gerald and Helga) Arnold: You wanted to see us, Ms. Li? Ms. Li: Yes Arnold, meet Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane. Daria: Hello. Jane: Yo. Arnold: Hi, meet Gerald Johansen. Gerald: I'm the man of the world my sistas. Arnold: And this is Helga Geraldine Pataki, she may get a bit irritating... Helga: (interrupting Arnold by grabbing him by the shirt collar) IRRITATING?! Why you little... Ms. Li: Now, now, kids, Daria and Jane are not your study buddies yet, we have to do a little paperwork first. PpG Narrator: Meanwhale back at the $1.00 35 Townsville Cinema, the girls start their long deserved fun break before studying. (the girls and professor come out of "Wild Wild West" when the show was over) B. Cup: We just wasted 2 hours of our fun. Blossom: That was just the worst movie I've ever seen. Professor: Wait girls, do you know where and when you and the girls meet your study buddies at? Blossom: Lawndale, next week. (10 minutes later, back at Lawndale High) Ms. Li: Now that's done, you'll have to go back to Lawndale next week, but for the time being, please send this notice to Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup telling them to come here next week to get paperwork done. Helga: Sure we will. (in her right mind) Sure we will, my... Arnold: Helga, we gotta go, nice to meet you Ms. Li. Ms. Li: Nice to meet you too, Arnold, goodbye. (BGM: "(You Drive Me) Crazy" by Britney Spears) (in the hallway, Daria and Jane are walking Arnold, Helga and Gerald out) Daria: So what is it you guys need help on, Literature and arts? Arnold: Science and World War II. Jane: What about the girls? Helga: Shapes and... (Helga bumps into Brittany) Brittany: Hi little girl, want to become a cheerleader? Helga: Who is she? Jane: You don't wanna know. (honking sound off-screen) Is that your ride? Arnold: Yep, see you girls next week. Daria and Jane: Bye. (Arnold, Gerald and Helga get in Grandpa's car) Grandpa: So those are your study buddies? Helga: Yep, we have to go back next week to start studying, they're kinda cool and nothing can go wrong. (Nighttime at Lawndale High) (BGM: "She's All I Ever Had" by Ricky Martin) (the principal's office, Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill are inside) O'Neill: (crying) I just wanted the students to listen to me. (sobbing) Barch: I always knew for having a feminine side and I just got the cure for it. (Barch and O'Neill started kissing each other and knocked some things on Ms. Li's desk, including the portfolios of Arnold, Gerald and Helga going to another folder) (one week later) (BGM: "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies) (Jane's house with Daria) Jane: They should be here in 5...4...3... (Trent passes by the hallway and sees pink, blue and green streaks of light) Trent: What the? (the girls stop at Jane's door and knocks) Jane: Come in. Blossom: Hello, I'm Blossom. Bubbles: I'm Bubbles. B. Cup: And I'm Buttercup. Bo, Bu, B. Cup: And we're the... Daria: I've seen you girls on Sick Sad World Jane: Which one? Daria: The birthday. Jane: Oh, that one. Bubbles: Aren't we're supposed to study on our shapes, Daria? (phone rings) Daria: Hold on. (picks up the phone) Hello...Ms. Li? (half-screen with Ms. Li) Ms. Li: Daria, it seems that 2 teachers (looking angrily at Barch and O'Neill) had sexual intercourse on my desk last week and it caused a major effect on the study buddy program and you must go to (pager beeps) Damn! I'll fax the message to you at your mother's house, bye. (sounds of drinking on the other line while Daria is listening) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS IN MY DRINK?!?!?! (Daria sighs and hangs up the phone) (5 minutes later) (Daria comes back with the fax) Daria: I didn't read it yet since we're both study buddies. Jane: Lemme see that. (snatches the letter from Daria's hand) (reading) Dear Daria and Jane, it seems a mistake happened for the last 7 days meaning that Arnold and his friends were sent to another location at yada yada yada... Daria: Gimme that! PpG Narrator: What Daria is gonna get is a fate worse than death, at least in her case. (Daria reads and reveals a shocking look on her face) Jane: Daria? (Daria still remains shocked) Bl, Bu, B. Cup: Daria? (Daria faints) (2nd commercial music from the "Daria Hunter" episode) (COMMERCIAL BREAK FLASHBACK: Helga grabbing Arnold by the shirt collar.) (Arnold, Gerald and Helga get out of the taxi behind a sign, looks at someone's house) Arnold: This must be the place. Helga: They must be broke. (they go to the house and the sign behind them said "Welcome To HIGHLAND") (Arnold knocks on the door) (Beavis and Butthead are watching TV) Beavis: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh, Butthead, get the door, I'm watching Jerry Springer. Woman on TV: BITCH! (the woman on TV charges on to another woman) Woman on TV #2: F****** W**** (bleeped on TV)!!! Butthead: No, you get it butthole, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh! Beavis: DAMMIT, Butthead! I always get the door! (Butthead kicks Beavis in the crotch and leaves) Butthead: (O.S.) Butthole, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. (a psst... sound is heard off screen and Butthead tripped) Butthead: Dammit, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. (Butthead gets back up and opens the door) Butthead: Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, who the hell are you, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh? Arnold: Uh... hi, we're your assigned study buddies and... (Butthead slams the door and sits back on the couch) Beavis: Who was that, Butthead? Butthead: Just some kids, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, one of his heads looked like a football. Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, football-head. (B & B laugh and continued watch TV) Man On TV: Now for the news. Male News Anchor: Headlines for today, a girl almost died from a car crash at Townsville, and at Lawndale, Connecticut, a study buddy program has taken place, the reward? Straight A's and removed permanent marks. (a lit light bulb was over B & B's heads) Arnold: Maybe Ms. Li made a mistake. (Butthead opens the door again) Butthead: Uh, come in, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. (Arnold, Helga and Gerald come inside and Butthead slams the door) (close-up of the door) Butthead: So,uh, what's your name, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh? Arnold: (O.S.) I'm Arnold, and this is Helga and Gerald. (BGM: "Holla Holla" by Ja Rule) (The Tank) Daria: (robotic voice) Why... Highland? Why... Highland? Why... Highland? Trent: Jane, what's up with Daria? She's been like that for the past hour. B. Cup: Yeah, and we only got 4 more hours to go. Blossom: At least Bubble's singing is blocking her talk! Bubbles: (singing) Color, color, color, color, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA. (Jane comes up to Daria and kneels down) Jane: Daria? Daria: (robotic voice) Why... Highland? Jane: Daria? Daria: (robotic voice) Why... Highland? (Jane slaps Daria silly) Jane: DAMMIT, Daria! Whoops... (Jane realizes that she spoke a 4-letter word in front of the kids and they frown) (Daria wakes up) Daria: (PO'ed) Trent, remind me to let the kids out of the car and put your sister a very very traumatic state. Jane: Sorry, sorry. (1 hour later) Daria: Who do you hate the most, A.J., Howie, Kevin, Brian or Nick? All except Daria: All. (1 hour later) Jane: Which one was better, Pretty Woman or Runaway Bride? (B & B's house) Helga: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!? (clinging on Arnold) They just say how much school and books reek!!!!! Why us? WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???? (starts crying and goes into Butthead's room and sees his posters, ignores them and wipes her tears, then closes the door shut) Oh Arnold my love, we're in a crisis beyond imagination, but we must get through this together. Butthead: (behind the door) Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, Arnold? (Gerald in Beavis' room studying eating candy) Beavis: Hi Gerald, heh-heh-heh. Gerald: Hi Beavis. Beavis: Uh, Gerald, can I please have some of that candy if you're not eating it? Gerald: Uh, sure, eat it all (V.O.) Thanks a lot, Ms. Li! (Beavis starts taking a piece, and starts taking another, and another, and another and he starts eating it all with some pieces spilling on the floor and then goes insane) Gerald: Beavis? Cornholio: I am Cornholio! I want T.P. for my bunghole, I want all your frappucino! Gerald: Beavis, you know I don't drink coffee. Cornholio: Are you threatening me? I am the great Cornhooooooooooooliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooo! (Cornholio leaves) Gerald: That's it, no more candy for THAT guy! (Arnold in the hallway) Arnold: (meditating while walking) I can get through this. I can get through this. I can get through this. I can get through this. I can get through this. I can get through this. (Arnold sees Cornholio and bumps into him by accident) Cornholio: I am the great Cornholio! I need T.P. for my bunghole. Arnold: (PO'ed) NO, I don't have any T.P. for your... WHATEVER! (Arnold leaves) (the psst... sound was heard off-screen and Cornholio goes on the other side) Cornholio: AHHHH! (Cornholio tripped off-screen) (Butthead starts to follow Arnold) Butthead: Uh, Arnold? Arnold: (PO'ed) WHAT?! Butthead: That girl of yours is saying your name in my room saying "Oh, Arnold my love." Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, love sucks. Arnold: Where's your room? Butthead: (pointing at the left) Uh, here. (Arnold opens the door) Helga: ARNOLD, I TRULY LOVE YOU, (sees Arnold and screams) (Arnold faints) Butthead: Uh, Arnold. (BGM: "Back That Ass Up" by Juvenile) (The Tank) (Daria, Jesse, Jane and the Powerpuff Girls are asleep and Trent sees a sign that says, "Highland 60 minutes away") Trent: Hey Jesse, girls, we're almost here. (Jesse and the girls wake up) Jane: (to Daria) Remember Daria, face your fears, face your fears. Daria: Shut up, but I am going to face my fear thank you. (a hiss is heard offscreen) Jane: DAMMIT! Trent: A flat. Bubbles: We can't take care of the flat tire, but we could do something else. Jesse: Like what? (Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup push The Tank so fast that they passed by the, "Welcome To Highland" sign in 5 minutes) Blossom: Hang on. (B & B's house) Helga: Arnold, I can explain. Arnold: No need to, how could you do this to me? Helga: My feelings won't let me. Arnold: ...and where are the 2 morons anyway? A girl: (O.S.) They're with me. (We see a shadowed girl between B & B, it's Princess (from, "The Powerpuff Girls")) (B & B laugh robotically) Daria: (O.S.)Beavis, Butthead! I have had it! (Daria kicks the door) Bl, Bu, B. Cup: PRINCESS! Butthead: Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, who the hell are... (Surprised) Daria? (close-up of Daria's PO'ed look) (1st commercial music from the, "I Don't" episode) (COMMERCIAL FLASHBACK: (half screen) Daria on the left side fainting and Arnold on the other side fainting) Beavis: (surprised) Daria? Jane: That's them? No wonder why sometimes you have nightmares. Daria: Shut up. Blossom, is this the girl that made 2 people back at Lawndale to (clears throat) make babies in Ms. Li's office? Princess: NO! It was my plan for revenge for what the Powerpuff Girls did to me! Blossom: What did we do to you? Princess: Remember the girl who almost got run over by that car? (Flashback: A girl faces down on the pavement in Townsville.) (Bl, Bu and B. Cup gasp in astonishment) Bubbles: No, it can't be! Princess: Yes, I was the one! Bubbles: I can't believe we almost saved a life of a villain! Princess: INFIDELS!!!! (Princess surrounds a force field dome on Bl, Bu, and B. Cup holding a sign that says, "Hanson Sucks!!!" and a mob of PO'ed Hanson fans came in the dome with sharp objects run with anger to Bl, Bu, and B. Cup) Bl, Bu, B. Cup: Uh-oh. (a cloud appears in the dome and Bl, Bu and B. Cup fly out of the dome) Blossom: (in excruciating pain) Daria, help... us. (Daria and Jane think of something) Daria: Butthead, Beavis just called you a boner. Butthead: Beavis, you butthole! (B & B fight each other and slapping each other silly) Beavis: DAMMIT Butthead! I'll kick your ass!! (Beavis knees Butthead in the crotch) Daria: Good. Blossom, bring these 2 people here in 5 minutes. Bubbles, Buttercup, keep fighting that snobbish girl there. Bl, Bu, B. Cup: GOT IT. Daria: (giving 2 pictures to Blossom) Now, go. Arnold, Gerald, Helga, get out of here. (Arnold, Gerald, Helga and Blossom leave while Bubbles and Buttercup go back to fight Princess) Princess: Beavis, Butthead, get them! Beavis: You're a butthole! Butthead: No, you're a butthole! Beavis: Butthole! Butthead: Butthole! Beavis: Butthole! Butthead: Butthole! Beavis: Butthole! Butthead: Butthole! Beavis: Butthole! Butthead: Butthole! Princess: (sighs) Bubbles, Buttercup, jugemos. (subtitled at the bottom: Let's play.) (Bubbles goes hardcore on Princess but got knocked down then Buttercup constantly punches Princess but Princess blocks every punch and gets knocked down as well, then Bubbles tackles Princess and starts punching her like there's no tomorrow, then she gets tired) Bubbles: (panting) I... win. (Princess kicks Bubbles and Princess gets back up her feet) Princess: You know how to dance? Bu, B. Cup: We did once... Princess: SHUT UP & DANCE! (she pulls out 2 paintball guns) I hate to gamble. (She shoots at Bubbles and Buttercup, they dodge and the paintballs went through the wall and hits Todd's car which flipped and exploded into tiny bits) Todd: (O.S.) AH DAMMIT! Princess: (surprised) I should gamble more often. The darn thing went through the wall! (Bubbles shoots lasers from her eyes and melted the paintball guns) (Princess grabs a stick and whack Bubbles straight to Buttercup and knock both of them down) Princess: (flying straight through the air) It's not over, it's not over by a long shot! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Princess starts charging downwards to Bubbles and Buttercup) (Quinn, Upchuck and Blossom open the door) Princess: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (went straight to the ground just missing Bubbles and Buttercup) Blossom: Quinn, this guy (pointing at Beavis) says that you're cuter than Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Upchuck, that guy (pointing at Butthead) says you're cooler than Leonardo DiCaprio! Beavis, Butthead, meet Quinn and Upchuck, (Daria whispers something in Blossom's ear) her boyfriend. Butthead: You butthole. Beavis: I want you! Upchuck: Now wait a minute. Quinn: Ewww! Get the hell away from me! (Quinn and Upchuck run away while B & B go after them while Princess was getting up she was stomped by Quinn, Upchuck, and B & B) Daria: Heh, 2 birds with one stone. Jane: Let's get out of here. (The Tank leaves Highland) Bubbles: (O.S.) What about our studies? Daria: (O.S.) Don't worry, we got that all covered, besides we got Upchuck's laptop. (close-up of B & B's house) Quinn: (O.S.) Stop taking off my bra!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beavis: (O.S.) We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! We're finally gonna score! Butthead: (O.S.) This is the best day of our lives, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. I'm gonna score first! Beavis: (O.S.)No Butthead! Groupie!! Butthead: (O.S.) Yeah, groupies are cool, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh! Quinn and Upchuck: (O.S.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (bell rings at P.S. 118) (THE BIG TEST) Mr. Simmons: Arnold, Gerald, Helga, meet Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup. All except Mr. Simmons: Hi. Mr. Simmons: OK, class, today's exam is all about Science and World War II and I wish you 3 and the other 3 girls next to you the best of luck, and good luck to you girls on your shapes and colors test. The test begins... now. (BGM: "Smile" by Vitamin C) (scenes of Gerald and Helga using their brains while Arnold simply jots it down on paper, Blossom and Buttercup looking at some shapes and jots down the right answers, while Bubbles looks at the colors, she's so good she even colored in the lines!) (90 minutes later) (Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup look at the board while Daria and Jane wait at the bench) Daria: Even though they don't pass, at least they tried their best. Jane: Wrong, even though they don't pass, we still get our A's and we had a fun time with them as well. Daria: I don't know about Quinn and Upchuck. (back at Highland, B & B are still disappointed that they didn't get to score. Quinn was never raped and B & B never raped her either. It seems that B &B were watching a movie about date rape, and the actors in the movie sounded like B & B, Quinn and Upchuck) Jane: I don't even wanna know. Arnold: YES!! We all passed!!! Gerald: Thank God for the internet! Jane: Great for you kiddos! Arnold: Me and Gerald learned something today, study hard and never let anger go in the way of your studies and also anger makes you say crazy things and lies. Helga: (O.S.) Whew! My secret is safe at last. Bl, Bu, Bu: We learned something today, help out the one in need even though they're the bad guy. Daria: I think I'm going to be sick. Helga: And I also learned something today, not only that, I learned a thing or 2 from those morons back at Highland. Blossom: Helga! Which 4-letter word did you learned from them? Helga: Not that! I really learned something. Blossom: Then what? (all of a sudden Brainy inhales and exhales off-screen, Helga looks left and right to find him, but he was not there, then she realizes he was behind her, (showing the top half of Helga and Brainy) when she was about to give Brainy a punch in the nose, Helga turned around and knee'd him in the crotch and Brainy fell down in a silent, yet agonizing pain, then she leaves) Helga: (O.S.) THAT. PpG Narrator: Ouch that's gotta hurt! So once again the day is saved with help from Arnold, Helga, Gerald, Daria, Jane, Trent and Jesse, but most of all the day is saved thanks to THE POWERPUFF GIRLS! (THE END goes on the screen) (imitating Butthead) Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, football-head, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. (CLOSING SONG: "Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys) (Makeovers of the casts of Daria, Hey Arnold! , and The Powerpuff Girls sorry, no Beavis and Butthead) are shown) Trent: Squall Lionheart from Final Fantasy 8 Daria: Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy 8 Upchuck: Seifer Almasy from Final Fantasy 8 Bittany: Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy 8 Jesse: Zell Dincht from Final Fantasy 8 Jane: Quistis Trepe from Final Fantasy 8 Kevin: Irvine Kinneas from Final Fantasy 8 Quinn: Edea from Final Fantasy 8 Helga and Arnold: Arnold teaching Helga to fly in Titanic. Gerald: Jim West from Wild Wild West. Arnold: Artemus Gordon from Wild Wild West. Helga: Ripley in robot from Aliens. Brainy: Inspector Gadget Blossom: Chun-Li from Street Fighter Bubbles: Sakura from Street Fighter Buttercup: Rose from Street Fighter Princess: Karin from Street Fighter