<< Fashionable Daria Y: Tina Zuloaga Scene 1: Hallway of Lawndale High last bell just rang. Daria is opening her locker and Jane is babbling on about how sex is like sleeping. Jane: And so it occurred to me, Sleeping is like sex without they actual messy process. Daria: Oh yes; now I get it. I have sex every night; there for every night I am more and more like Quinn. Jane: Damn't Daria, it means me and Jesse must be getting somewhere if we are already sleeping together. Daria: More like he just falls asleep on you. Jane: You know what I mean. Upchuck: I was so quietly walking buy when I couldn't help over hearing your conversation. If you want the real thing my pony in one wild ride. Daria: I am allergic to ponies, and you. Jane: And you know me not to big on ponies, but I heard Jesse has a nice stallion. Daria:(rolling her eyes) you heard? Jane: What's that supposed to mean. *Upchuck breaking in* Upchuck: Well girls my offer is up for grabs, you better hurry and take it, there not alot of room on my saddle if you know what I mean. Jane&Daria: We know! (Grinning) Upchuck: (surprised) what I meant is there are plenty of girls who would die to be in your shoes. Jane:(looking down at her combat boots) Interesting thought. Upchuck: Rrrrrr, Feisty Scene 2: Jane and Daria are walking home from school. Daria is going over to Jane's cause the parental units are out of town and Quinn is holding one of the Fashion Club Sleepovers. Daria: Do you think that one day the fashion club will stop tormenting the lives of people who actually care to be cool? Jane: Are Presidents faithful to there wives? Daria: When I was younger I use to compare Quinn to an empty piggy bank. Jane: Why...she was worthless Daria: No she lacked Sense (cents) Jane: (realizing Daria's joke) Well I can just see you has a stand up comedian now. Daria: Oh please. Jane: you would make a cute stand up comedian...like that one comedian...you know that one that was in "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" Daria: Oh I remember that movie I thought it would be about what Cats and Dogs were really thinking...imagine my surprise. Jane: Well not all titles make sense. Daria: Go figure. Jane: to think one-day people like your sister might be running things Daria: Yeah the most important part of History might be The rise and fall of popularity...how it changed fashion has we know it. Scene 3: Jane and Daria have just entered the Lanes house. Trent is spread over the couch sleeping in his boxers. Jesse is passed out right by the TV both girls pause for a moment. Jane: Wow, Jesse looks great having sex. Daria: He's not having sex. Jane: well you know what I mean. Daria: No and I don't care to. Trent: (softly) Hey Daria. Daria: Looks down to see Trent slowly sitting up and stretching sleepily) Oh hey Trent. Jane: Daria is spending the weekend here. Trent: So is Jess Jane: Good thing moms not home, she might mistake this for a social life. Trent: (grinning) We wouldn't want that. Daria: Is your mom ever home Jane? Jane: I am not sure, I don't ask anymore. Trent: Temporarily food will appear in the pantry, and fridge, and that's when we realize she might have been home but is gone again. Daria: You both are so lucky. Jane: We are modest people. Trent: I count my blessing. Jane: this being one of the few you have. Trent: (glaring at Jane) What's that supposed to mean Janey? Jane: Nothing, nothing at all. *Trent turns to Jesse* Trent: Hey, Jess...Man! Jesse: What is it...it's only (looks at VCR) 3:40 PM Trent: Its time to get up now, we have company. * Jesse looks up to see Daria and Jane* Jesse: Hey Jane. Jane: Jess Trent: Well lets do something Jane: We could go to the school park and wait for something to happen...its rare but we might see an alien encounter during the day. Daria: Or we could go crash my sisters fashion club meeting (sarcastically) Trent: Great Idea Daria! Jane: Your not being serious. Daria: I know I wasn't. Jesse: it will be fun, crash a little popular social gathering. Jane: I don't see what this is leading to. Trent: As a social outcast you should realize it is our living need to get back at the popular people later on in life. This includes cults such as the Fashion Club. Daria: Why do I bother speaking. Jane: why do they bother listening. Trent: Let's leave this for Sick Sad World, we have a Fashion Club meeting to crash. Scene 4:Trent and Jesse are dressed and ready. Daria and Jane are both what the plan exactly is in crashing the meeting. Trent: Come on lets go! Jane: Trent are you sure? Trent: Janey, It'll be cool. Daria: Maybe for you, I am the one that going to have to live with the fashion slut after this is over. Jesse: But you always lived with her haven't you? Daria: Your right! What are we waiting for? Jane: Maybe a good idea...I can't believe we are doing this. Scene 5: Trent, Daria, Jesse, and Jane are about to load into the tank (Max's van) Jane: Does this guy ever see his van anymore Trent: well...(thinking) No not really. He lets us borrow it cause we always will find equipment we can use while cruzin town. Daria: I pity the soul who owns this...what did you call it Jane...Van Jane: well its better then Trents car. Jesse: yeah more room in the back * Jesse gives Jane a sly smile* Jane: Jesse and Me are sitting in the back have fun up there you two. * Jane almost throws Jesse in the back. Trent looks over at Daria who is almost has disgusted has he is.* Trent: Come on Daria hop in front with me. Daria: (blushing slightly) Okay. Scene 6: Trent and Daria are sitting I the front, Jane and Jesse are in the back. Like always Jane's plans have been foiled, and Jesse has fallen asleep on her shoulder. Daria: (looking back at Jane) Jane: (mouthing) S_E_X_ and pointing to Jesse. Daria: (Raises one eyebrow in question then shrugs at her friend's idea of sleeping and sex. Daria turns back toward Trent) Daria: (wide-eyed) Trent? Trent: (Head back against seat snoring) Daria: Trent...Trent! Trent: (suddenly jerks his head up) Oh hey Daria. Daria: Your driving here. Trent: (Looks down at the wheel) Thanks I must have dozed off. Daria: let's not try that again until the car has stopped. Trent: Okay. Scene 7: The tank has just pulled into Darias drive way. Inside the fashion club is discussing the article of new style from Waif. Sandi: But it says like that grunge is instlye ...shaping our future or like whatever. Tiffany: That makes us fashionable wrong! Quinn: Don't say that! I just don't understand what caused this change. (Almost crying) Sandi: Isn't your cousin like grange or whatever? Stacey: yeah isn't she! Quinn: Well yeah but... * Sandi cutting her off* Sandi: No buts Quinn we need her fashion advice like right away Tiffany: Yeah I have never dealt with this grunge thing before, my eye for color and cutness isn't useful anymore. Quinn: Well sorry my cousin is... * Daria, Trent Jane and Jesse walk through the front door* Stacey: How cool! Sandi: They are so like Grunge. Tiffany: I never thought of that color combination. Quinn: Daria! What are YOU doing here? Daria: Oh...was this your fashion club meeting? I am sorry looks, like the keg party got to be somewhere else. Sandi: (standing up) No!...Stay, like we need your help anyway. Jane: The Fashion Club is needing your help Daria... what kind of alter Dimension did the tank slip us through? Tiffany: Well Actually, we need your help to. Daria: Listen I know you guys need Help. But what kind of help do you need from us? Jane: Gezz Daria your on a role with this comedian thing aren't ya? Sand: Well, Like it says here in Waif Grunge is the new look. So like we haven't had much experience with the grunge scene. (Jane and Daria give each other a weird look) Jane: So you're asking us for our advice on fashion. Daria: I know understand what a Kodak moment is. Trent: (giving Daria a look like your actually going to help them) Daria: (Gives Trent a look as if to say, no but I am going to use this to my advantage) *Trent catching on to Daria and Jane's plan smiles* Trent: Hey Jesse lets go raid the fridge Jesse: Okay Quinn: Daria, Can I talk to you a moment? Daria: No problem CUZ. * Quinn pulls Daria into the stairwell* Ouinn: I thought I told you to stay away during all my fashion club meetings, your ruining everything!!!! Daria: I just came to pick up my stuff to spend the night at Jane's. Quinn: Ohhhhh...it is so not cool. Daria: Yeah tell me about it, your fashion charged friend want advice from Jane and me. Quinn: Waif doesn't know everything...this Grunge deal is so not cute. *Sandi steps into the stairwell* Sandi: Is there like a problem Quinn? Quinn: No....I was just telling my Cousin that I hope she would help us, cause she know all about the grunge look. Sandi: Oh good, like Quinn, you are very lucky to have a fashionable cousin. Stacey: Yeah, I don't know if we can pull this one on our own. Tiffany: We need her as our teacher. Daria: Wait...hold on, what makes you think this advice is free? *Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacey exchange glances* Jane: 10 bucks a person and you will her all about grunge and the style. Sandi: like okay...but that so isn't cool. Daria: But its Grunge. Stacey: Oh I get it...we already have begun learning. Tiffany: There good, really good. Scene 8: Sandi, Stacey, Tiffany, Quinn, Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse are all in Daria's room. Sandi: Like wow, this is totally Grunge or whatever. Stacey: Wow I can feel the fashion Tiffany: Who new Quinn's cousin actually did have taste all along. Daria: Now no touching anything in my room, this is a lesson, not a museum. Sandi: Okay like get to the teaching Daria. Daria: (standing up) now there are four rules to conquer the grunge look. 1. No bouncy hair 2. Try not to match 3. Make-up is an option 4. Talk like a normal sarcastic teenager Sandi: I like...I mean I think i can try Tiffany: yeah whatever that will be easy Stacey: what Sandi said. Quinn: after living with you Daria I think this will be a piece of cake. Daria: well then...Jane, pull out our choice outfit for Sandi, president of the fashion club. Jane: (Holding up a Black large shirt, and a pair of jeans with some rip's) Whoa won't you look stunning. Sandi: For the sacrifice of fashion...(she grabs the outfit and heads to the bathroom) Daria: For Tiffany what do we have...A white shirt with anarchy and a pair of black pants...with red suspenders. Tiffany: (Taking the clothes from Jane) Okay here's to fashion. Daria: Two gone two to go...Stacey...this brown skirt, with this black tank top will do nicely Stacey: what about shoes? Jane: One thing at a time, my young apprentice. Stacey: Okay! (Stacey leaves to go change in the parent's room.) Quinn: Your going to pay for this Daria. Jane: Now wait Quinn, don't get all excited at once, we have an outfit for you as well... *Jane pulls out a green shirt, a black skirt, and a pair of black hose.* Daria: Don't have too much fun being fashionable correct. *Quinn grabs the clothes in a rage and storms off to her room.* Trent: (With a wide grin) this is the best torture I have ever seen...the fashion girl's...dressing normal, to be cool. Jesse: That Sandi girls kind of cute. Jane: What did you say Jesse: That Sandi girl should be mute Jane: that's what I thought. Scene 9: Sandi, Stacey, Tiffany, and Quinn are now standing waiting for Daria and Jane's approval. Daria: I know this must have been very hard...but you pulled it off. Sandi: Like I knew we could Daria: What was that, did I hear a valley tone in your voice Sandi: Uh no, that must have been the wind. All of you have passed... (Each one starts to smile) Except...Quinn, who refuses to de-bounce her hair. Sandi: Quinn, like are you trying to be uncool or something. Quinn: (glaring at Daria) no, my hair just wouldn't de-bounce Sandi: That better not be a problem tomorrow. Quinn: Of course not Sandi. Daria: that's better. (Door Bell Rings) Jane: I 'll go awnser it Daria: okay but hurry back. * The Fashion club are all taking notes from Daria when Jane comes back with a bunch of letters in her hand.* Jane: Emergency mail delivery. Quinn: Ohhh, a new issue of Waif, but one came out yesterday. Sandi: Let me see that. ( Reading) Emergency fashion Issue...Grunge, is not smashin fashion. The whole fashion Club exchange glances. Sandi: I have to get out of these horrid clothes, like now. Stacey: I can't believe I put this on. Tiffany: Me either! Quinn: I knew Grunge wasn't fashionable if Daria was wearing it. (Four Girls storm out of the room) Daria: Hey it was fun while it lasted. Jane: They almost looked normal. Trent: I wonder how long it will take for them to get back their bouncy hair. Daria: If we are lucky never. Trent: They almost looked good...they were almost Fashionable Daria * Daria and Trent exchange Glances, Both Blush slightly in embarrassment* THE END >>