Daria meets al Banffte Daria copyright Mtv... I'm poor go ahead and sue me ******************* Authors notes Al Banffte is a character of mine he is i guess you could say that he is a demi god or an immortal but that's not all folks with Al Banffte you get not only the wholesome fun of something that is immortal and knows it but the power to alter reality and do essentially what ever he wants. but relax folks I try to keep things none violent and keep my stories intone with the series I am fanficing. Now with out further ado.... ******************* The usual daria music and pictures open the show but when we get to the end with the daria pic in the circle under it a tear appears and we see static behind it then a evil smiley face with an eye patch appears something like this only not sideways >P) after it covers the whole screen we see the title Meet Al Banffte cut to inside Mr deMartino's class room. Mr deMartino is yelling a Brittany at the front we see daria and jane. Daria shudders as if she were cold. Jane "Whats the matter thinking of trent" Daria in her usual dead pan "I don't know this a new feeling I guess" Jane "Wow maybe you are happy for a change !" Daria " ha ha Jane I've felt that before" Jane "what did you feel then (breaks into an Obe on Kenobi impression) Was it a disturbance in the force as though a million souls were all screaming at once ?" Daria usual dead pan again "No I've felt that too" just the an off screen knock is heard and daria and jane look to the door cut to a view of Mr deMartino walking too and opening the door. the door opens to reveal a heavy set but tall and slightly slouched forward teen ager wearing an open flannel shirt with an evil eye patched smiley face >P) DeMartino "Yes what do YOU want" Teen "Hi my name is Al Banffte and I was wondering if this was (looks at a piece of paper in his hand) Mr DeMentio 's class ?" Sound of laughter from the class Demartino "It's Mr DEMARTINO" AL "oh sorry I misread it... any way I'm a new student and this is my class now" Demartino "okay then go SIT down" Al " okay okay you can stop yelling now man" Al walks into the room and sits behind Jane Jane "Wow I 've never seen mr Demartino's eye bulge so much... " Daria "Yeah I don't think any one has every called him mr Dentio before" Jane "Yeah it was pretty cool wasn't it " Daria "definitely but I still can't shake this feeling" Bell rings Cut to hallway Daria and jane open their lockers Al walks up and looks at the lockers Al "07..09...13 here we are" open's his locker and puts his binder in" Jane looks at him "hey aren't you that Al guy" Al "excuse me for not introducing myself ... My name is Al Banffte" Jane "I'm Jane this is Daria" Al "Well hello then Jane (shakes Jane's hand)" Daria extends her han for a shake Al "Hello daria" shakes her hand cut to fashion club walking down the hall Sandi " umm quin isn't that a new guy talking to your cousin and her weird friend or something" Tiffany "and he's dressed all weird shouldn't someone tell him that that outfit is all wrong ?" Stacy "yeah" Sandi "I think it's our job to tell him that the way he's dressed is a fashion don't" Cut back to daria jane and AL Jane "uh oh the fashion club has smelled fresh meat " Al "Fashion club ?? " daria usual dead pan "yeah my sister Sandi Stacy and Tiffany. they probley think it's there duty to tell you what you're wearing is a fashion don't. that and they always try to thwart our nefarious plans of world domination." Al "lets see superficial fashion obsessed bouncy hair I got it" the fashion club arrive Sandi "umm as leader of the fashion club I have to tell you.." Al the second a large group of people walk by screams "NO I WON'T GO OUT WITH YOU" Sandi and the fashion club blush then beat a quick retreat. Jane and daria together "wow" Al "thanks I've dealt with the shallow before. Say does Lawndale have a good pizza place?" Daria "yeah there's a good place right down the road from janes house" Al "cool how about after this" looks at paper "Mr Oneils class we all go get a pie my treat ?" Jane " sounds cool to me hey after the pie want to go to my house? my brother's band is practicing tonight and daria wanted to listen to them" Daria "grrrrrrrr" Al "sounds cool" Cut to Mr Oneils class Mr Oneil fails to notice the new student Al sits behind Jane and daria Al "man this is so damn boring" Jane "tell me about it" Al "how morally upright are you guys?" Daria "were not why ?" Al "I have an Idea to get the heck out of here" Al raises his hand Mr Oneil "umm yes (looks at the piece of paper on his desk) uhh uhh" Al "It's Al Banffte. and I was wondering what you felt about the movie (grin) old yeller ?" Mr Oneil "it was whimper a very whimper sad sob runs crying from the room" Al "Class dismissed" cut to pizza parlor Daria Jane and Al sit at a table with a pizza in front of them Daria "wow you really are good you know that?" Al "it's a gift" Jane "First Mr Demartino then the fashion club and now Mr Oneil when will the destruction and chaos end" Smirk Al "Oh I don't know I have to leave some time" Smile "but I have a feeling that you guys do a great job with out me.." Daria "True" Al " So have you too seen that new star wars movie yet?" Jane "Yeah it was pretty cool I guess" Daria "But I've seen better" Al "I thought it was fun" Jane "Well it's almost time for school to end lets get over to my house so we don't have to deal with more shiny happy people" cut to out side Daria and jane cross the street and Al follows behind them half way across daria trips and a car comes whizzing around the corner Al steps forward in the car hits in and not daria. Al just stands there in between daria and the car Daria stand's up and look's at Al and then looks at the car and then back at Al. The driver get's out of his car driver "oh my god are you okay?" Al " I'm fine and your very lucky you didn't hurt my friends" Driver "I'm so sorry this street is usually a ghost town at this time of day" Al "well watch out from now on okay" lifts his hand off the car hood and reveals a hand shaped dent Driver get's in his car looking shaken Daria ,Jane and Al cross the street Daria "how did you do that" Al " Do what ?" Daria "Get hit by a speeding car not budge an inch and leave a huge hand print dent in the hood" Jane "Yeah how did you do it?" Al "uhh uhh I'll tell you tomorrow .. It'snt this your house jane" Jane "Yeah here we are." cut to basement Jane Daria and Al sit on the steps As Trent and Jesse finish a string rendition of ice box lady Trent looks up "Hey Janey Hey Daria." Daria " Hey Trent" Trent " who's your friend" Al " the Names Al Banffte How do you do Trent, Jesse. You guys are great." Trent " thanks do you play ?" Al "a bit, do you want to jam for a while?" Trent "that might be cool" Al reaches under is flannel shirt and pulls out an acoustic guitar. Trent Daria and Jane look amazed Al "uhh don't leave home without it?" Trent still shocked "cool" Al "you guys know the song american pie ?" Trent "yeah" Al "okay then just play the song I got the lyrics for the first verse and the first chorus. A saga begins by weird al this ones for you Daria" Al begins to play Al " A long long time ago in a galaxy far away naboo was under an attack. And I thought me an Qui gon jinn could talk the federation into to maybe cutting them a little slack But their response it didn't thrill us the lock the doors and tried to kill us We escaped from that gas met Jar Jar and boss Nass we took a Bongo from the scene and we went to theed to see the queen and we all wound up on Tattoine that were we found the boy.. Oh My my this here Anakin guy maybe Vader some day later now he's just a small fry left his home and kissed his mommy good bye saying soon I'm gonna be a jedi Soon i'm gonna be a jedi did you know this junk yard slave isn't even old enough to shave but he can use the force they say Ahh do you see him hitting on the queen ? though he just nine and she's fourteen ahh he's probley gonna marry her some day Well I know he built c3po and I heard how fast his pod can go And we were broke it's true so we made a wager or two He was a prepubescent flying ace and the minute Jabba started off that race Well I knew who would win first place oh yeah it was out boy Every body we were singing my my this here Anakin guy maybe Vader some day later now he's just a small fry he left his home and kissed his mommy good bye saying soon I'm gonna be a jedi soon I'm gonna be a jedi Well we finally got to courtesan the jedi council we knew would want to see how good the boy could be so we took him there and told the tale how his midi chorleons were off the scale and he might fulfill that prophecy Oh the council was impressed of course could he bring balance to the force? They interveiwed the kid oh but training they forbid because Yoda sensed in him much fear and qui go said now listen here just stick in your pointy ear I still will teach this boy He was singing My my this here Anakin guy may be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry he left his home and kissed his mommy good bye saying soon I'm gonna be a jedi Soon I'm gonna be a jedi We caught a ride back to Naboo ''Case queen Amidala want to but I frankly would have liked to stay We all fought in that epic war but it wasn't at all before little hot shot flew his plane and saved the day And in the end some gungans died some ships blew up and some piolets fried a lot of folks were croaking the battel driods were broken And the jedi I admire most wet up with Darth maul and now he's toast Well I'm still here and he's a ghost I guess I'll train this boy.. I was singing MY my this here Anakin guy may be Vader some day later now he's just a small fry He left his home and kissed his mommy good bye saying soon I'm gonna be a jedi Soon I'm gonna be a jedi Every body We were signing My my this here Anakin guy may be Vader some day latter now he's just a small fry He left his home and kissed his mommy good bye saying soon I'm gonna be a jedi. The song ends and the whole room just start laughing like crazy daria still with her smirk looks at her watch "uhh oh I gotta go dinner at my house... you want to go Al ?" Al "yeah what the hell it's better then the junk at my house.." Daria "don't bet on that.." Al "see you guys later see you Jane Trent Jesse" Daria and Al walk down the street outside Al " so how long have you and trent Been madly in love with each other" Daria " oh Man not you too.." Al " I wont push it or anything just curious" Daria "Now I am curious how did you.." Al " hey isn't this your house ?" Daria "yeah it is " cut to inside the kitchen Hellen sits at the table with jake and quin Daria and Al enter the room Daria "Mom I invited Al over to the house for dinner" Hellen " oh hello I'm Hellen Daria's mom this is Jake her father and this is Quin" Al Smiling " Oh me and Quin met earlier" Quin "Hey who said ..." Al waves his hand in front of Quin " hey do't you have a big date with Charles Ruttinhimer the thrid ?" Quin thinks for a minute "Yeah I do Don't I I have to go..." get up and leaves Al sits down where quin was and looks at the food with a smile Daria looks at him puzzled Al looks at Helen "this looks really good Mrs morgandorffer" Helen "why thank you Sal" Al shakes his head "it's Al Banffte not Sal " Jake looks up from his paper Jake "hey who are you" cut to twenty minutes later Daria "me and Al are gonna go watch Tv in my room" Helen "okay dear have fun" cut to inside daria 's room door opens and daria and All look into the room Al "okay now it's my time to be impressed " Daria " well It a little place I like to call home. Now tell me exactly what the hell is going on ?" Al "what do you mean" Daria " well lets see today you arrived made mr demartino yell a bit more then normal, embarrassed the entire fashion club made mr Oneil cry like an eight year old ate a third of a pizza got hit by a car and walked a way with more damage to the car then you, knew where Jane's house was with out having ever been there, pulled a guitar out of thin air played a great song like you wear born with that guitar in your hands , knew where my house was having never been here quin went out with upchuck which belive me is the strangest thing I've ever seen and I might add a lot worse then she needs. so I repeat what the hell is going on?" Al "Man I didn't want to have to tell you right away but well I'm not from around here.." Daria "your an alien?" Al "No not really. kind of from another dimension but not an alien" Daria "What ???" Al closes the door Al "Well it's like this I come from a different reality. I have lived a very long time and done every thing I could in that world short of destroying the natural pattern of life. I found out a way to travel to new dimensions and places and well kind of hop around a bit I do things that amuse me (trying to keep my adventures 14 a at the most) and move before I do too much damage to the reality I visitedd" Daria stunned " I see" Al "okay let me give you an example. now what do you want right now that you think you can't have short of trent " girn Daria "surprise me.." Al "okay" reaches behind his back and pulls out a yellow rose closer inspection shows that the rose has a eye patched smiley face on it >P) " how's this " Daria takes the rose from him and smiles "why me? " Al "Why not ... I mean I've seen a lot of women and you are a rose in a bed of rag weed" Daria Blushes "Al" Al "relax you and trent have each other I just wanted to hang out for a day or two and have a little fun.." smiles "and I have certainly done that today... haven't I" Daria " smirks yes you sure did" Al "besides I love that song... lol" Daria "yeah but how did you know about star wars ?" Al "well a little of each world run's into the next.. besides it's a pretty cool movie set.." Daria " so how long are you gonna stick around Lawndale.." Al " well lets see "looks at his watch " not too much longer" Daria " I see " Al " but I like it here I'll be back don't worry" Daria "I won't forget you Al" Al " you might not but I think every one else will..." Daria "... huh" Al "I kind of have to remove almost all the evidence I was ever here but I will be back" Daria lies down on the her bed "Al .....ZZZZZZZZ" Al walks over and patts her on the head AL "Good bye daria I'll see you later" Al leaves the room we hear a zipper like noise and a then static then a pop and nothing the phone rings and daria picks it up Daria "Hello?" Jane "Man I just had a weird dream." Daria Looks around the room Looks at the yellow smileyfaced rose in a vase on the desk "I see why don't you tell me about it" Smirk Credits.. Well gang what did you think ?? my first Al banffte story but I have a feeling once I get my web site up they'll be more of them.