Set-up: Dorian reluctantly agrees to help out with the Fashion Club's float. While watching the parade, Jane runs into Tom and his new girlfriend. Even though she has Dorian, how will she react to seeing that her ex has moved on? And is Brittany watching Dorian as he's wearing nothing but a toga? Stay tuned!

Scenes from the episode "I Loathe A Parade" will be used so here is the legal stuff: Daria is property of MTV/ Glenn Eisher ... I don't own it or there would already be a series called Daria: The College Years.

Parades Stink!

The Homecoming Parade was going to be in three weeks. It signified the final game of the season. It also marked the beginning of the sixty day countdown until Summer Vacation. Dorian arrived home after watching "Sick, Sad, World" with Jane to see Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Club waiting in the living room for him. Okay, do I run back out the door or should I face the demons straight on. Quinn walked up to him and handed him an Ultra Cola. She's up to something ... I wonder what they want. Accepting the soda, Dorian goes to sit on the couch and is immediately surrounded.

"Umm, Dorian ... we were wanted to know if you would help us out with our Homecoming float." Quinn asked.

"What do you need to me to do?"

"Well, we want you to help Jeffy, Joey, and Jack tow the float."

"His name is Jamie, not Jack. Tow the float? Most floats have a vehicle underneath them. Why not do that?"

"Our theme is about Ancient Goddesses. They didn't have cars in Ancient Greece. We were going to have you guys wear togas while we wear dresses which represent different Greek Goddesses." Quinn stated.

"I see ... and which Goddess is each of you going to be?" Dorian asked.

"Well, as President of the Fashion Club, I should be Aphrodite." Sandi's said with a smug look on her face.

"You know ... we haven't thought about that. Maybe you could help us pick. You're smart and know about that stuff." Staci's voice began to stammer.

You really stuck your foot in your mouth this time Morgendorffer. Dorian looked up at the four young women in front of him. He took a moment to study each of them. "Well, lets see ... if Sandi is going to be Aphrodite, then the rest of you need to be other key players. Considering I've always pictured Hera as having dark hair and eyes darker than the night. Tiffany would have to be her. Demeter was the goddess of the harvest. I've always kinda seen her with auburn hair; a natural beauty. Staci ... I can see you as Demeter, especially if you braid the sides of your hair and tie them together in the back. That leaves Athena; the goddess of wisdom and war, smart yet strong and beautiful. I think Quinn would make a good Athena. Now that is just my opinion, you can take it for what its worth. As for helping tow your float, I'll think about it and give Quinn my answer in the next day or so."

"Thanks Dorian. Is there anything else we should know?"

"Well, I think each of you should carry something that represents your Goddess. Take Athena ... she is usually seen holding either a shield or an olive branch. Demeter carries sheaves of wheat. Hera's symbols are pomegranates or peacock feathers. One of Aphrodite's symbols was roses, so I would use that. If you'll excuse me, I need to finish my homework before mom and dad get dinner ready." Dorian stood up and walked upstairs. He didn't see the three sets of eyes as they followed him.

About thirty minutes later, there was a knock on his bedroom door. He looked up from the computer desk. "Come in, Quinn."

"Thank you for being nice to the Fashion Club downstairs. I know they really get on your nerves so that meant a lot to me. And for giving us some ideas about who we should be. Have you thought anymore about helping tow the float?"

"Well, Jane wanted us to go together and add color commentary so I will have to talk to her first."

An evil grin spread across Quinn's face as she closed her right hand and flicked her wrist and tried her best to imitate the sound of a whip cracking. Dorian wadded up a piece of paper and threw it at her as she ran out the door. Looking over at the phone, Dorian shook his head and laughed slightly as he lifted the receiver to call Jane. However, Quinn had beaten him to the punch as Dorian heard his sister and Jane talking about the float and the idea of Dorian in a toga. That's when he realized, he was doomed.

Over the course of the next week, Lawndale High was a buzz with activities. Clubs and teams began working on their floats as Homecoming election posters began popping up everywhere. The teachers even got into the spirit, assigning less homework than usual. Quinn was put in charge of coming up with the float design for the fashion club. Dorian suggested a golden chariot. Feeling the creativity in the air, Jane agreed to help build and design it. Sitting at Dorian's computer desk, Jane etched out the plans while Dorian watched with great interest.

"For someone who hates math, you do quite well with specs."

"This isn't math ... this is artistic integrity. If the Fashion Club is going to be seen in a Jane Lane original - I want it to stand out. Besides ... how good the float looks determines where it is going to be in line. Not to mention, we only have two weeks to build it ... we won't have time to fix it if it's wrong. You don't want to end up behind the classic car club do you?"

"No ... the closer to the front the sooner my humiliation will be over. How come you and Quinn can talk me into anything?"

"Well, trying to convince Daria to join in something usually required a bribe. Maybe this is just part of that personality flip thing or maybe you feel like you have to make up for make believe lost time. You really don't want to do this do you?" Jane said as she finalized her plans on paper.

"No, but I also know that the three J's aren't going to be able to do it without getting hurt. Jane ... can I ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me."

Jane grew silent. Whatever was about to come out of Dorian's mouth next could have the potential to start an argument. Jane waited several moments before nodding.

"I know I wasn't a greatest person on the face of the earth when I was Daria. Yes I got jealous and hated stupidity ... but did that make me a bad person?"

"No. Cynical ... yes. Unwilling to budge on your opinions ... yes. Bad ... no. I would not have hung out with you if had truly been a bad person."

Jane watched as the smile crept across Dorian's face. For some reason, she knew that he wasn't the one putting it there. As if to acknowledge the fact that her first friend was still there, Jane stared at Dorian and smiled back. After a few moments, Jane turned around and added a last detail to the chariot design. Wiping the eraser dust off the sheet of paper. Jane showed Dorian the finished sketch. The chariot would take a lot of hard work, but if Dorian, Jane, and Quinn could pull it off, it had the potential to put them at the front of the parade. Jane knocked on Quinn's bedroom door and showed her the design.

"Jane ... this is amazing. Can you really build that?"

"I can't - but we can build it and we're starting tomorrow. Dorian and I are going to see if Trent can get the Tank so we can buy supplies."

"The Fashion Club is going to owe you big time."

"As long as they don't try to pay me back with a makeover, I'll be fine." Jane grabbed Dorian's hand and headed downstairs.

The next two weeks flew by as Dorian, Jane, and Quinn worked at a hectic pace to finish the chariot in time for judging. The rest of the fashion club came over to the Morgendorffers two days before the chariot was due at school. Even Sandi was impressed at the simple elegance of their float. Dorian had Quinn call the three J's to see if they could come over and test it. They arrived thirty minutes later, ready to help Quinn out in any way possible. This time, it was Dorian's turn to tease his little sister. The four girls climbed onto the chariot while the four guys grabbed the tow ropes. Dorian asked Jane to climb onto the chariot as well, to make sure it could handle additional weight. Dorian and the three J's began rolling the chariot with ease.

Two days later, Trent arrived at the Morgendorffers with the Tank. He attached the chariot's trailer to the vehicle and drove it to the school. Judging was going to be throughout the day with the parade order announced by the end of the school day. Dorian watched as Jane fidgeted throughout the day waiting to find out where they placed. Halfway through Ms. Barch's class, Ms. Li got on the intercom and made the announcement. The Fashion Club's float would be the third one in line, right before the Football Team's Football Sweetheart float. As they were leaving school, Quinn ran up to Jane and gave her a quick hug.

"Thank you so much! We can't wait 'til Thursday to show off how hot we're going to look on that chariot. I don't know how I am going to repay you."

"I hear that pizza is about as precious as uncut gems on the open market."

"The next couple of pies you and Dorian go and get are on me. Thanks again." Quinn handed Jane some money then left to rejoin the rest of the Fashion Club.

Dorian watched the expression on Jane's face the entire walk home. The smile on her face was one Dorian knew he would never forget. They finished their homework quickly and headed to Pizza King for a celebratory pie. Dorian opened the restaurant door and signaled Jane to go inside. Seeing Jodie and Mack sitting in their usual booth, Dorian and Jane were going to congratulate them on winning the Homecoming King and Queen titles, but changed their minds when they saw a rather upset looking Brittany sitting beside them. After placing their order, Dorian and Jane were surprised to see Mack heading in their direction.

"Do you mind if I sit here for a few? Brittany's upset that Angie was named Football Sweetheart instead of her." Mack motioned at the empty seat across from the couple.

"Yikes. This has the potential for turning the Homecoming Parade into a crime scene. I hope Ms. Li has enough micro tapes to take everyone's statements." Jane motioned for Mack to sit down.

A few minutes later, Jodie joined them as Brittany walked out with a smile on her face. Dorian and Jane congratulated their friends for winning the Homecoming titles. Jodie laughed when Jane told her what Dorian's role was going to be in the parade. As the group ate, they talked about the parade's travel route, the game and then the dance on Saturday night. Seeing the empty pie plate, Dorian and Jane decided to head home. Grabbing his book bag, Dorian gave Jane a kiss as he walked out the door. Arriving at Schloss Morgendorffer, Dorian walked in to see Quinn standing up with a toga in her hand and the rest of the Fashion Club looking at him like lions during feeding time at the zoo.

Dorian, Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey were sitting at the beginning of the parade route waiting for the Fashion Club to show up. The four of them were talking about wearing the togas in front of all the parade-goers. Dorian turned around and watched some of the other members of the Lawndale High Football Team climb onto their float. Kevin and Angie made their way to the top podium of the float. Brittany watched as Kevin started to get closer to her fellow cheerleader. Her jealous mind began to go into overdrive. Then, she spotted Dorian and the three Js leaning against the Fashion Club chariot in their togas.

"Dorian looks really cute in that outfit." Brittany's voice almost purred.

The other cheerleaders looked over at him and nodded. They watched as Jane and the Fashion Club approached the float. Camera in hand, Jane began snapping pictures of the group as they stood up on the float with Dorian and the three Js in front holding thick heavy ropes. Walking up to Dorian, Jane gave him a quick hug and kiss before making her way back towards the crowd. As she passed Jodie and Mack on the way to their float, she took a quick picture and gave them a thumbs-up. Then, she noticed Brittany and the rest of the cheerleaders staring at Dorian and the three Js. Great, what the hell did Kevin do now? That's when Jane looked up and saw Kevin try to put his arm around Angie. I can tell this is going to be one of those days. As she was heading back towards Dorian, the whistle blew commencing of the parade.

Dorian, Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey stood, ropes in hand, waiting for the two floats ahead of them to begin. Dorian turned to Jane as he thought for a brief moment about dropping the rope and running out of town. Quinn ... why did I let you talk me into this? Damn nice sibling relationship - makes me wish we still had some animosity towards each other. Maybe Jane was right, this might be my way for making up for some imaginary lost time. At least the Fashion Club dressed up to match each Goddess they picked appropriately. Dorian's thoughts were swept aside when Mrs. Bennett, the parade coordinator, clapped her hands and pointed at them to start their way down the parade route. Taking a moment to gain enough traction to get the trailer moving, Dorian and the three Js began their long trek down the street.

Walking down the front of the sidewalk with them for the first three blocks, Jane faded into the back of the crowd. She wanted to get to the end before Dorian. As she made her way down the sidewalk, she ran into Ms. Defoe who tried to get her to help paint some of the business windows. Jane smiled and politely declined. Ms. Defoe saw Dorian towing the chariot, grinned, and nodded in understanding. Jane broke into a light jog in order to get ahead of the Fashion Club float. Her attention was so focused on trying to catch back up with the first few floats, she failed to notice that a piece of one of the floats had broken off and was heading straight for her. She felt a hand grab her and pull her away just as part of the penguin head crashed to the ground. Jane turned to say "Thank you" but paled when she recognized Tom Sloane. He had one hand stretching out towards her and the other wrapped around the waist of his new girlfriend.

"Jane - are you alright?"


"Jane - are you okay?" Tom repeated with concern in his voice.

Standing stunned and speechless for several seconds, Jane finally regained her composure. "I'm fine. Thanks for pulling me away from there. I could just see it now "It's the Paper-Mache Creation of Death - When Parade Floats Attack! Next on 'Sick, Sad World!'"

Tom gave a slight laugh before the blonde who had a death grip on his other arm poked him in the side. Clearing his throat, he said, "Jane let me introduce you Fiona Garrett."

Jane stared at the girl for a moment before stretching her hand out. "Umm ... nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. Tom has told me so much about you." The girl ignored the outstretched hand and glared at Jane.

Tom decided to break the tension. "Where's Dorian? I would have expected to see him walking with you."

"Actually - he's in the parade. He was one of the guys pulling the Fashion Club float at the beginning. I stopped to talk to my art teacher. So now, I'm trying to play catch-up."

"That must have been a sight. We missed the beginning of the parade. Have you heard from Daria lately?"

"Yeah, I'm sending her pictures," Jane muttered. Then she heard the sound of someone crying and asking for his parents. That voice sounds familiar, but I can't figure out why. Turning around, Jane spotted Tad Gupty with tears in his eyes. She stepped away from Tom and Fiona for a moment and headed towards Tad. Looking up at the teenager, Tad began to smile.

"Jane ... I'm scared. I can't find my mom and dad. I saw a windmill in the toy store window so I went to look 'cause they're such a clean source of energy. Then I turned around, everyone was gone. Now I'm frightened that I'll be stuck in this parade forever."

You and me both kid. Damn, I wish Daria was here right now. "Come on, Tad. I'll help you find your parents. Which direction were you heading when you saw them last?"

Tad pointed towards the direction Jane was going. "We missed the first floats so we were walking towards them."

Jane grabbed Tad's hand and smiled. "It just so happens that was where I was going."

Tom and Fiona approached them. "Do you mind if we tag along? We missed the beginning as well."

Jane's lips pressed together. Before she could say anything, Tad chimed in. "Hurray! We can turn this into an exciting adventure!"

Jane looked at the three others and sighed. Or a six o'clock news incident. "Eight eyes are better than four. Let's get moving."

In the meantime, Dorian and the three Js were steadily moving the chariot down the parade route. As they began to work up a sweat, their togas started to become see-through. I'm glad we decided to wear shorts under these things. Dorian quickly turned for a moment to see how the Fashion Club was doing. All four girls were smiling and waving as they passed pictures out to the crowd. At least they are having a good time.

On the football float behind them, Kevin was getting himself in trouble. Wrapping one arm around Angie, Kevin started waving at the crowd. Angie tried to move away from him, but couldn't break loose from his grip. Brittany and the rest of the cheerleaders were behind them and were watching the scene play out. That's when Kevin made the ultimate mistake. He lowered his hand to the small of Angie's back and touched her butt. Brittany's eyes turned blood-red in anger.

Figuring that Tad would have a better chance of seeing his parents if he was taller, Jane hoisted the boy and placed him on her shoulders. Making their way through the crowd, the group began to catch up with the middle of the parade. Tom would ask some of the parade-goers if they had seen the Guptys. Fiona seemed disinterested in the entire affair. Seeing the unhappy expression on Tom's face made Jane wonder if he was really wanting to go out with his new piece of eye candy. Weaving through the crowd, Jane was moving at a good speed when she heard a voice ahead of her calling her name.

"Jane ... what are you doing with the Guptys' son?"

"Andrea - you know the Guptys?"

"Yeah - they shop at the store I work at all the time. I saw them about three minutes ago up ahead. They looked like they were about to turn to head back in this direction."

"Thanks Andrea - are you going to the Homecoming Game?"

"Yeah ... oh I liked the chariot you made for the Fashion Club. I just want to know what Dorian did to make you so mad that you got him to wear a toga?"

"Nothing ... Quinn's his little sister and he just couldn't say no. Thanks again for the info." Jane and Tad waved as they parted company with Andrea.

Picking up their pace, it was only a matter of a minute or two when Tad poked Jane and pointed forward. "There they are Jane. Mom ... Dad - I'm up here."

Mr. and Mrs. Gupty and Tricia walked up to them with a look of great relief on their faces. Tricia saw Jane and smiled. "Mommy ... I know her ... that's Jane."

"Jane saw me crying and then we started looking for you," Tad said as Jane took him off her shoulders and he ran up to his parents.

"Well then I guess we owe you and your friends a thank you. If you ever want to earn a little extra money, we could use an on-call babysitter for when Quinn can't make it." Mrs. Gupty pulled out a pen and a piece of paper from her purse.

"Sure." Jane wrote down her name and number and handed Mrs. Gupty back her pen and paper.

Thanking her once again, the Guptys bled into the crowd and disappeared. Jane, Tom, and Fiona continued on their way to the beginning of the parade in silence. A few blocks later, they had caught up to the cheerleaders and the Football Team's float. They could hear Brittany leading a rather bitchy cheer because of what was going on between her boyfriend and the Football Sweetheart. Tom and Jane snickered while Fiona looked agitated. Catching up to the Fashion Club's chariot, Jane whistled to get Dorian's attention. Tapping Dorian on the shoulder, Jeffy pointed to Jane. Looking over in her direction, he felt his anger rise when he saw Tom only to have it subside when he realized that Tom was there with someone. Smiling, he gave a thumbs up to his girlfriend as they rounded the corner and headed to where the floats would be parked once they reached the end of the parade route. That's when all Hell broke loose behind him.

Brittany and the rest of the cheerleaders had stormed off from behind the football team's and started walking directly into the path of another float. Seeing the pack of cheerleaders coming towards them, the driver of the float tried to swerve to avoid them, making matters worse. That's when everyone on the Fashion Club float heard the crash and explosion. Turning around to make sure Jane was safe, Dorian shook his head as he saw Jane; camera in hand, taking photos like a mad woman. After they parked their float, Dorian and the Js helped the Fashion Club down. Making his way over to Jane, Dorian stood beside her and watched the Lawndale Fire Department put out the raging fire that used to be a float. After shaking Tom and his girlfriend's hands, Dorian wrapped his arms around Jane.

"What happened?" Dorian asked.

"Apparently Kevin touched Angie's butt and that pissed Brittany off so she and the rest of the cheerleaders stormed off and walked straight into the path of that float. The driver tried to swerve to miss them and that's what caused him to tip over and crash." Jane replied while loading a new batch of film in the camera.

"Nice move Kevin." Dorian growled under his breath. Looking up, he saw Quinn and the three Js signaling for him to return to the chariot. "Come on, let's go find out what they need. Nice seeing you again Tom." As they walked away, Dorian whispered in Jane's ear. "Do I want to know why you were with Tom and his new girlfriend?"

"Let's just say we had an adventure. I'll tell you about over pizza at my house."

Arriving back at the chariot, Jane took pictures of Dorian, the Fashion Club, and the three Js. Mrs. Bennett and Ms. Li thanked them for making Laaaaawwwnndale High proud. Drenched in sweat, the guys were ready to leave and take showers. Before getting out of the parking lot, Dorian and Jane were met by Brittany. Ignoring Jane completely, Brittany stared straight into Dorian's eyes.

"You looked really hot towing that float while wearing that toga thingy." Her voice seemed to purr.

"Damnit Brittany - leave me the hell alone. I'm sorry your boyfriend's a jerk, but leave me out of it." Dorian stormed towards the football's team float, grabbed Kevin by the shoulders and flung him against it. "Kevin - quit acting like a fucking idiot and start treating your girlfriend better than a piece of shit because I'm getting tired of her looking at me like I'm the main damn entree at Chez fucking Pierre." The anger in his voice frightened the slightly taller quarterback.

Everyone around stood stunned as the brain released his grip from Kevin's jersey and started heading back to where Jane and Quinn were standing. Looking up at her brother's face, Quinn saw shades of Daria in his eyes. Putting her arms around him, Quinn gave him a quick hug. Dorian stiffened for a moment but returned the gesture.

"I'm sorry for making you wear the toga." She whispered.

"It's okay sis. You had no idea that this was going to happen." He sighed.

As he stood in front of Jane, he stretched out his hand. She was hesitant at first, but realizing that Dorian was already calming down, she accepted it. Feeling a gentle hand wrap around hers, she smiled at him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You realize that you will be the talk of the school by Monday."

Dorian nodded. "Let them talk - all I care about right now is getting a shower and watching a couple of bad movies with my girlfriend."

Lifting her head from his shoulder, Jane kissed his cheek. Dorian and Jane left the parking lot and turned to go to Casa Lane. They walked in silence for a moment before Dorian spoke. "Now, tell me about your adventures with Tom and Fiona."