Depression, Love, and Pizza! Written by Ninja the Circus Pimp Send all comments to: ininja@bwave.com Setting: Lawndale Highschool in front of Daria's Locker. Daria: Jane do you think that Mr. DiMartino was a little mad when Kevin thought that Vietnam was a new Chinese Resteraunt in town? Jane: Hmm I don't know but I suspect the use of four letter words and that he was going to do many unhappy things to kevins body may have been a slight tip-off. Daria: Yeah I especially liked it when he mentioned how Kevin was going to be eating those annoying sholder pads! Jane: Do you think they may make him smarter? Daria: I don't know we'll find out and if its true we'll sell the story to Sick Sad World! Jane: Hey now thats an Idea! "Sports equipment that makes you smart" boy the coachs will all have heart attacks knowing they won't have to bribe teachers into passing the jocks anymore! Daria: I think were onto something here! Ohh well wanna discuss it at your house? Jane: Sure why not we can talk it over why trying to withstand the constant noise of Trent and Jesse practicing thier music. Daria: *Blushes at the thought of being near Trent* Setting Lane Household Janes Room *Daria and Jane are sitting in front of the TV watching Whatelse? Sick Sad World* T.V.: Bud Ice, Killer Penguins, Nazis all together? Next on Sick Sad World... *Daria shuts the TV off* Daria: So what are the plans besides letting our ears bleed listening to Trent and Jesse try to make music? Jane: I don't know. Wanna grab some Pizza later we can make it a double date with Trent and Jesse? hmmmmm *smiles and gives daria a "Come on you know you wanna" look* Daria: Date? How about we rephrase it to "Friendly Social Gathering" or "Post Practice meal"? Jane: But we didn't practice they did. Daria: Thats why they can pay for it. Jane: Come on Daria think about it Trent, Jesse, Jobs, Money Kinda ring a bell? No Jobs equals no money! Besides it'll be fun and it'll get them and us out of the house for a bit besides Trent may come onto you! You do know hes crazy about you right? Daria: *blushes slighty* Yeah right your just trying to trick me into telling him how I feel about him and I'm not falling for it. But I'll go anyway besides I'm hungry and i could go for a breath of fresh air those new paints you got are starting to get to me. Jane: Really? I thought they smeeled kinda cool myself kinda like sniffing glue without having to put your face strait up to the bottle. Daria: Sometimes I wonder about you. Jane: Me to hmmm I wonder if Jesses does the same thing? Daria: What sniffs Paint Fumes? I think he might considering he does some up with some pretty wierd guitar rifts. Jane: No I mean wonder about me. Daria: I wouldn't know but I do know Upchuck wonders about you all the time. What your wearing underneath your clothes and what you look like without them. Jane: Please your making me sick.........Wait a Minute Upchuck, Sickness, Paintfumes my god I think I'm coming up with another Sick Sad World theory or atleast another painting idea. Daria: I'd stick with the painting idea if I were you. Come on lets get the guys and go. Jane: Ok Setting: Lanes Household Basement *Trent and Jesse are trying some new guitar rifts and trent is standing on top of a Chair* Trent: Ok I'm gonna stand on this piece of aluminum foil and use sandpaper instead of a pick I want you to turn up the amps and cut off the lights. Jesse: Ok Dude ready? Trent: Yeah go for it! *the lights go off right as daria and jane are walking into the room theres a load screech then a bang and when the lights come back on and Trent is laying ontop of Daria Guitar in hand. He quickly gets off of Daria* Trent: Sorry about that Jesse accidentally knocked me off the Chair in the dark. Here let me help you up *offers Daria his hand thinking (I was just on top of the woman of my dreams and I didn't make a move DAMN!)* Daria: *blushes very hard thinking (I just had the man of my dreams on top of me and I didn't make a move DAMN!)* umm its ok. *takes trents hand and he pulls her up and very close to him* umm thanks trent. *looks away quickly and walks over to jane* Jane and Jesse: *looking at Daria and Trent (They were in the perfect position and they didn't make a move twords each other DAMN!)* Jane: *looks at Daria and smiles* Hey you guys wanna go out for some Pizza I know your hungry? Trent and Jesse: Sure! But whos paying? Jane: How about we collaborate me and Daria pay half you guys pay half Deal? Trent and Jesse: Deal! Jane: Cool we'll meet you guys in the living room in five minutes It'll give you time to clean up and discuss possible plans for after words *she winks at Jesse* *Jane and Daria leave the room* Jesse: So you gonna tell her tonight on our "Double Date"? Trent: Its not a date its probably just a Social Gathering! Besides I might I just don't know if she'll accept me or not. Jesse: Come on man open your eyes look at the way she blushed when you acted all gentleman like and helped her up. Trent: Nah she wasn't blushing she was just red from embarasment! Jesse: Whatever dude! She wants you and you want her I say go for it! Trent: Whatever! Setting: The Tank Jesse: I guess I'll drive. Jane: I call shotgun! Daria: Then I guess that means me and trent got the back seat. Trent: Yeah I guess so. Trent and Daria: *They both look away and a smile creeps onto thier faces* *during the course of the trip to the pizza place jesse makes sure to his every Pot hole and speed bump he can While Daria and trent constantly are being moved closer to each other by the bumps. They eventually touch each other and both blush slightly and look away* Trent and Daria: Sorry! Its ok...... *they just look at each other for a second and look away blushing* Jane: *whispers to Jesse* if they don't get together by the end of tonight I'm gonna rip my hair out. Jesse: *whispering back* yeah me to we. But need to think of something and quick. Jane: *still whispering* hmm I got a plan cooking up you'll see when we get to the pizza place. Jesse: *also whispering* ok Setting: The Local Pizza Parlor *the group of Darians walk in and find a booth Jane and Jesse quickly take up one side of the booth leaving Daria and Trent to take the other side together* *The waitress is none other then Brittany* Brittany: Oh My God Darias on a Date! How Cute! Daria: Its not a date Brittany its a social gathering *Trent eyes a "I told ya so" glare at Jesse who in return eyes a "Yeah right You know its a date" Glare back at Trent* Besides why are working here I thought you were rich and didn't need a job. Brittany: Oh well my parents told me that a job might impress colleges and maybee I can get into one! Ohh My Kevie will be SO PROUD of me. Jane: *under her breath to Daria* or he'll shoot himself knowing he can't make out with her while shes working. Daria: *under her breath to Jane* Yeah maybee then she'll finally snap and we can have a bunch more fun with her then Jane: *still under her breath* hmmm I guess this could be promising. *in a normal voice* Ok what do you guys want on your half? Trent and Jesse: Mushrooms Jane: And on our half what do want Daria? Daria: Mushrooms is fine. Jane: I thought you didn't like Mushrooms Daria? Daria: *Kicks Jane under the table* No thats Quinn. Shes afraid they'll give her zits. Jane: OWW! *gets the hint and smiles* Ohh yeah I forgot sorry. Trent: Quinn isn't that the one who claims shes your cousin and always comes onto me when I come over? Daria: Yeah that would be her. Jane: Ok We'll have one Mushroom Pizza and I'll have a Coke. What do you guys want. Trent Jesse and Daria: Coke Brittany: Ok One Coke Pizza and four Mushrooms Got It I think? *all of them sigh* *The Pizza and drinks arive and correcly to all of thier surprise* Brittany: There you go if you need any thing else just Call me. Daria: We'll keep that in mind incase we need some advice on Quantum Pysics and possible adive on what kind of Eye shadow the female astronauts wear so it won't run in space. Trent: *laughs and coughs* Good one Daria. Daria: *slight smile* Tanks. *they eat about tree quarters of the pizza and are all just sitting back* Jane: Hey Jesse the Nok Hockey tables open wanna go play a few games? Jesse: Sure why not. *they both get up and walk over to the nok hockey table and are sonn playing very furiously* Daria: So Trent how did Practice go except for the obvious? Trent: It went ok. We found a couple of new cords to try out and were considering making a new song. Daria: Well thats cool whats the song about? Trent: About someone special. *smiles* Daria Ohh. *they both grab for the same slice of pizza and end up grabbing each others hand. They both blush and quickly pull thier hands back* Daria Trent: I'm sorry.....I didn't mean to......*both start talking fast and incoherently* *they both sit for a few minutes in silence* Trent: Hey Daira. Daria: Yeah Trent? Trent: Me and the band are gonna be playing at McGrundys Pub Friday you and Janey wanna come? Daria: umm Sure I'll come I'm not sure about Jane though... Trent: Don't worry she'll come Besides Jesse will be there its almost a garantee she'll be there. Daria: You do have a point. Hey wanna go try out the new Vitual Game? (Remeber the game Daria and ted Played in "The New Kid" thats the one!) Trent: Sure why not? *they both get up and walk over to the game* Chad the Video Game Director: Hi what'll it be? We have Underwater Adventure, Medievil Lair, or Tunnel of Love? Daria and Trent: Underwater! Chad: Ok underwater it is put on the helmets and gloves and sit back it'll be a few mintues to load up. Daria and Trent: Ok *they up on the equipment and sit back* *Jane and Jesse sneak up to the Virtual booth* Jane: Psst hey chad heres twenty bucks *hands chad a twenty* put in the Tunnel of love senario for them please. Chad: No prob. *he clicks on the Tunnel of Love scenario and both Daria and Trent sundenlly realize thier in the wrong secnario* *they both see that their in a boat with the shape of a goose head at the front of the boat and the water around them is colored pink and had heart shaped lily pads floating through it* Daria: Umm Trent I think I'm gonna be sick surronded by all this lovey dovey stuff. Trent: Me to but we payed out money so lets make the best out of it shall we? Daria: Uhh Sure why not. *Thinking This could be my prefect oprotunity to tell him its the right settings and the perfect place to fall in love* Trent: Cool *Thinking this could be my chance to break it to her. I mean why not were in the tunnel of love by mistake Could it be fate?* *they continue to ride occasionally commenting on how dull the scenario is. Finally trent turns to Daria* Trent: Umm hey Daria can I tell you something if you promise not to get upset? Daria: *is getting hopefull* Sure trent tell me anything you want. *thinking DAMMIT now I sound desperate!* Trent: Daria ..well.....I ummm....I.....really....like you...and well...wouldyougooutwithme? *really fast* Daria: *shoked look* Trent ....I ......well..... Trent: *looks down sadly* I'm sorry Daria I had to say it I've just always really liked you and wanted you since the first couple of times we talked. Its been really bugging me here latley and I just had to let it out before it caused me to go insane. I'm sorry. Daria: *lifts trents head up with her hand and looks him in the eye while a tear rolls down hers* Trent I love you to. Funny i've always wanted to tell you that and I never had the courage to do so until now until I've known how you felt about me. *shes kisses him lightly on his lips and moves closer to him and hugs his upper body* I love you Trent. Trent: *wraps his arms around Daria* I love you to Daria. *they continues to hold each other and kiss for the rest of the secnario* *the scenario ends and they both take off the equipment and hold hands to find Jane and Jesse kissing on a bench* Daria: Well Well Well lookie at what we got here! Jane: Speak for yourself. I had to give up Mocho Denaros to get you two to finally get it on. Trent: Don't worry janey your money was well spent. Daria: I'd say so. *She hugs trent closely* *The four of them walk out Jane and Jesse hand in Hand and Daria and Trent Hand in Hand* Setting: McGrundys Pub Friday Night *Mystic Spiral are about to take the stage Daria and Jane are sitting in a table fairly close to the Stage* Jane: Wow this is cool our first concert with our New Boyfriends. hows it feel? Daria: It feels great. And It feels even better to know that Quinns Jealous of me for once. Jane: WOW Quinn Jealous of you? Thats a first and definatly one for the Record books. Daria Yeah tell me about it. Ohh wait here they go shh *Onstage Trent grabs a mic* HIIIIIIII! Were Mystic Spiral all though we might be changing our name soon And were here to Rock and Roll! *the band goes through a set of different songs they usually perform and a couple of covers then the rest of the band leaves and Trent is on the stage by himself with his guitar* Trent: This is a song I wrote for my Girlfriend Daria. To love, To Hold To live, To Die To be with you Or forever Cry These are the words That come to Mind When You come Walking By. Hey Hey Hey I think I love you Hey Hey Hey I think I want to be with you Hey Hey Hey Why don't you come with me Hey Hey Hey Why don't you stay with me... Without you the sun would not shine Without you the moon would crash Without you My heart would die.... I love you I always have I always will We'll never be apart..... *He ends the song and the place erupts with applause* *Trent walks off the stage and over to daria whose crying* Daria: Trent that was wonderfull I love you to. *they kiss and then leave the club* The End!