Daria Author Tombstones

By Brother Grimace

(Note: I think it was Thea Zara who came up with the idea for this 'Iron Chef'. I had fun with it, though!)

Here lies the body of mad Ronin

Who deserves the latrine trough he was thrown in

It may give his soul a boost

That his works now are of use

In wiping many a dirty caboose.

He was taller than anyone else of his height

Not a good thing, as the Huey took flight.

LS gave the cute girl pilot a grin

As the rotor blades commenced to spin,

And his head merrily bounced off through the night.

Kara Wild's death was truly a sin

As she observed a landslide from within.

As the boulders rolled in

And she got mashed thinner than thin,

She last thought, 'This would never happen to Quinn.'

And there isn't any Roger any Moore

As he had a nasty spat with a door

It was NORAD's entrance, you see

And it splattered him about quite freely

Now his angst is all over the floor.

Now here lies the body of Angelinhel,

An intelligent and quite fetching young belle.

But the lab rats she knew well

Bit and bit until she fell

And they did feast until their bellies did swell.

A moment's requiem for poor Teeki Jane

Through wild blue yonder flutters most of her brain.

In the jet's lavatory she did strain

The faulty suction pulled like a train

And her gray matter was flung from the plane.

Weep now for poor Roger E. Moore

His wantonness made the missionary position a bore

So with an emperor penguin he did score

And the walls shook from his pleasured roar

Not seeing his wife and new machete at the door.

No one passed like Mistress Thea Zara

Pleasured to death by a lustful kappabarra.

He lunged and burrowed with savage glee

But perhaps his ferocity

Was caused by Thea's playing of that damned Irene Cara?

Play the funeral dirge for Austin Covello

He fared poorly in an encounter with a cello.

Tried to play a tune quite mellow

And gave off a loud bellow

As the bow slipped and pierced straight through the fellow.

Say goodbye to Outpost Daria's host

At a Toon banquet did he slowly roast.

He liked his fics kept around PG

The Toons said, 'That's fine, don't you see?

For us, Grimm's Fairy Tales are the most!'

29 October 2003