Daria Author Tombstones
By Brother Grimace
(Note: I think it was Thea Zara who came up with the idea for this 'Iron Chef'. I had fun with it, though!)
Here lies the body of mad Ronin
Who deserves the latrine trough he was thrown in
It may give his soul a boost
That his works now are of use
In wiping many a dirty caboose.
He was taller than anyone else of his height
Not a good thing, as the Huey took flight.
LS gave the cute girl pilot a grin
As the rotor blades commenced to spin,
And his head merrily bounced off through the night.
Kara Wild's death was truly a sin
As she observed a landslide from within.
As the boulders rolled in
And she got mashed thinner than thin,
She last thought, 'This would never happen to Quinn.'
And there isn't any Roger any Moore
As he had a nasty spat with a door
It was NORAD's entrance, you see
And it splattered him about quite freely
Now his angst is all over the floor.
Now here lies the body of Angelinhel,
An intelligent and quite fetching young belle.
But the lab rats she knew well
Bit and bit until she fell
And they did feast until their bellies did swell.
A moment's requiem for poor Teeki Jane
Through wild blue yonder flutters most of her brain.
In the jet's lavatory she did strain
The faulty suction pulled like a train
And her gray matter was flung from the plane.
Weep now for poor Roger E. Moore
His wantonness made the missionary position a bore
So with an emperor penguin he did score
And the walls shook from his pleasured roar
Not seeing his wife and new machete at the door.
No one passed like Mistress Thea Zara
Pleasured to death by a lustful kappabarra.
He lunged and burrowed with savage glee
But perhaps his ferocity
Was caused by Thea's playing of that damned Irene Cara?
Play the funeral dirge for Austin Covello
He fared poorly in an encounter with a cello.
Tried to play a tune quite mellow
And gave off a loud bellow
As the bow slipped and pierced straight through the fellow.
Say goodbye to Outpost Daria's host
At a Toon banquet did he slowly roast.
He liked his fics kept around PG
The Toons said, 'That's fine, don't you see?
For us, Grimm's Fairy Tales are the most!'
29 October 2003