Transcribed by Brian Taylor
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Brian's Notes - It was right about the time that I started talking about doing a story involving a wormhole and an alternate dimension that I really wanted to do an essay about the Daria and Trent relationship. I even have a few drafts of it lying around in hard copy form, and one of these days it'll get out there. One evening, however, as I lay in my room, I saw a piece of paper that I didn't recognize. The thing was stained, and crumpled, and ripped. And in a hand that I didn't recognize. It looked like it'd been torn out of a spiral notebook, and then tossed in the garbage. I read it. They were lyrics - pretty bad ones, I might add - and I thought I recognized a few of the events he mentioned. At least, I thought they were lyrics.
Flipping the paper over, I saw the words to... "Freakin' Friends" by Mystik Spiral. In the same curious hand. I began to wonder, then, what exactly I had. After all, John Takis had allegedly transcribed and edited an essay by Charles Ruttheimer, and released it under the title of "I, Upchuck." Was it really so bizarre to think that maybe - just maybe - I had stumbled upon actual, authentic lyrics by Trent Lane? I still don't know. I'm not even sure if they are lyrics, or just the closest equivalent to a love poem that he's capable of writing. After all, no chorus, and it seems a bit long for a Mystik Spiral song. You can think whatever you want to about them. That I'm merely ripping off Takis' flesh-crawlingly creepy story. That I'm pulling a big hoax on you all. Or that perhaps these are real lyrics. You never know. But all I can say is that these words do the job I was trying to do a lot better then I did it, although some of the figurative language is fairly... awful.
Also, I'm not the sort of guy to write lyrics like "They were stuck in my brain like burnt cheese in a frying pan." Make up your own minds about who really wrote 'em.
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Knew you were staring at me
At the flea market that time
Like an icy drink on a hot day
And I smiled at the thought
But you were too young for me to say
Saw you at the nut stand
With my brain hijacked by nuts.
You looked so cute in that little hat,
But I didn't want to embarrass you
Or anything dumb like that.
And that time at your house
Where you saw me with Monique
And then I said I'd ask you out
If only you were 18
Why'd I spit those words out?
The music thing was all my fault.
Couldn't get the notes together,
They were stuck in my brain
Like burnt cheese in a frying pan
And driving me insane.
Now you're with him
And you broke my sister's heart
But I just can't hate you at all
Or even say what I feel...
It's a tough thing to call
Besides, I'm not your type
You're too smart, and I'm too lazy
And all we'd ever do is fight
But, for all that it hurts to ask,
Would you like to go out some night?
Don't wanna change at all
Don't wanna make you feel odd
But like clothing through a closet door
There could be something
There worth changing for...