Bloodshot
By Devarie Hunter
Summary: Daria takes a blood type test in Ms. Barch's class, and is shocked at what she discovers.
Daria and all its characters are property of MTV. I don't own them, and I'm using them without permission-Nyeah nyeah : )~
Scene 1
INT: Hospital Room. Caption says "Highland Memorial Hospital-1982"
A young woman is giving birth, very noisily. There are several people crowded around. As the camera pans, we can see that one of them is a young JAKE MORGANDORFFER.
CUT TO: Lawndale High, present day
JANE and DARIA are walking down the hall. DARIA looks a little scared.
JANE: I still don't see what you're so nervous about. It's just a little needle stick.
DARIA: (Deadpan) I'm allergic to pain. (beat) Besides, I'm afraid Ms. Li might use my DNA to clone a race of superstudents.
JANE: (Smirks) Get serious, Morgandorffer. Do you really think Ms. Li could handle more than one of you?
DARIA gives her Mona Lisa smile
CUT TO: INT: Helen's office, but we can see, surprisingly, that Helen isn't there. Marianne is busily taking messages and typing.
MARIANNE: (On Phone) No, Mrs. Morgandorffer isn't here. She took a personal day. I'll tell her you called. Thank you.
CUT TO: INT: Morgandorffer home
HELEN is sitting at the kitchen table with JAKE. Both look extremely tired.
HELEN: She IS eighteen now Jake, I think it's time we told her. (Cell phone rings) No Eric, I CAN'T come in today. I TOLD you I had some personal business to take care of. No. NO! (Slams cell phone down on table)
JAKE: (Surprisingly attentive, and not at all confused) I guess you're right, Helen. I just don't know how she'll take it.
BACK TO: Lawndale High
MS. BARCH: Ok class, today we are going to test for our blood types. This type of test is used in paternity cases when some filthy MAN won't admit that he got you pregnant! (Gives evil looks to Upchuck and Kevin)
UPCHUCK AND KEVIN: Eeep! (Both duck and cower)
DARIA: Ow! Damn it, Jane!
JANE: (Looking apologetic) Sorry. I told you to hold still. Besides, it couldn't have hurt any more than having your bellybutton pierced.
DARIA: Yes, but I had a special anesthetic for that ( Mona Lisa smile as she remembers holding Trent's hand)
JANE: Earth to Daria!
DARIA: (Jumps slightly. We can see she is blushing) Uh, anyway, your turn.
She sticks JANE'S finger with a small needle. They continue with the experiment. Suddenly, DARIA gasps and runs from the room. JANE, quite confused, follows.
Scene 2
JANE finds DARIA in the bathroom. To her surprise, she also sees that DARIA has been crying her eyes out.
JANE: What is it? What's wrong?
DARIA: (Muttering semi-coherently) It can't be...I must have done the experiment wrong...he has to be my father....
JANE: (Comes up to DARIA and turns her toward her) Yo! Morgandorffer! What are you-
DARIA: (Cuts her off sharply) DON'T call me "Morgandorffer." According to those blood type tests, I'm not one.
JANE: Huh?
DARIA: I know Mom's and Dad's-or should I say Mom's and Jake's-blood types. There was a blood drive two years ago, and both of them donated. I went with them, mostly out of morbid curiosity.
JANE: But I thought you hated needles. Why would you voluntarily sit in on a blood donation?
DARIA: (calming down) There was something strangely satisfying in seeing my parents get their blood sucked out. (Tries to smile, but doesn't quite make it.) Anyway, Mom is A, and Dad is O. According to that test, I'm B, which would make it biologically impossible for him to be my father.
JANE: Whoa! Are you sure you did the test right?
DARIA: I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure I did
JANE: Let's do it one more time to be sure.
They go back to class and do the test again. DARIA grimaces when she sees that the results are the same.
Scene 3
INT: Morgandorffer home
HELEN: (On Phone) I need you to be here tonight, can you make it? Yes. Yes, it has to be as soon as possible, and it would easier if you were here. Next week!? Are you SURE you can't make it sooner? Oh, I see. No, Monday will be fine. (To Jake) She can't be here for a few days. I guess we'll just have to wait.
JAKE just nods, seemingly unable to speak.
CUT TO: DARIA and JANE walking home
JANE: So, what are you going to do?
DARIA: I want to find out who my father is. I figure there must be a picture, or letters, or something. Affairs normally have mementos.
JANE: So you're going to snoop.
DARIA: Care to join me?
JANE: How can I resist? Count me in, amiga.
FADE TO: A montage. DARIA and JANE digging through the Morgandorffer garage. (DARIA is looking at a book, and JANE'S legs are sticking out of a large box.) A calendar page flies. DARIA looking through HELEN'S desk drawers. Another page floats away. JANE and DARIA on the couch looking at one of HELEN'S college yearbooks. ZOOM IN : On a photo of a young HELEN with a man who bears a striking resemblance to the adult DARIA we saw in "Write Where it Hurts." They have their arms around each other. DARIA and JANE look at each other, mouths open in shock.
Scene 4
INT: Lawndale High
DARIA and JANE are standing outside DARIA'S locker
DARIA: I'm going to confront her today after school.
JANE: Need some moral support?
DARIA: No, I think I have to do this on my own.
CUT TO: INT: Morgandorffer home. We see a nervous-looking HELEN sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She has taken another uncharacteristic day off. She looks at her watch. A close up shows that it reads five minutes to three. FADE IN: to a wall clock which reads the same time. As the camera pans down, we can see DARIA sitting in Mr. DeMartino's class, staring at the clock. A bell rings and all students rush out of the room, except for DARIA and JANE.
JANE: Are you sure you're OK with this?
DARIA: I'm sure. I'll call you later.
BACK TO: INT: Morgandorffer home. HELEN is now on the couch. QUINN enters in her usual manner.
QUINN: (Seemingly speaking without taking a breath) Mom, I need to borrow $100 for this really cute dress I saw at Cashman's. Joey is taking me to Chez Pierre tonight and I want to look good in case Sandi is there to see me. Ok? Thanks! (pauses) Mom? Are you listening? MUH-OM!
HELEN: Quinn, I need you to cancel your date tonight. We are having a special guest tonight, and you HAVE to be here.
QUINN: But MUH-OM, I-
HELEN: No buts Quinn. Cancel. Now.
QUINN stomps from the room. DARIA enters, frowning deeply.
DARIA: (coldly) Hi, Mom.
HELEN: Hello, Daria, I was just telling Quinn that everyone has to be home tonight. We have something very important to talk about. (sees look on Daria's face) What's wrong, dear?
DARIA: Why didn't you tell me? (Brings out yearbook) Who is this guy?
HELEN: (Looks at the photo) Just a friend from college. I don't remember his name. Why?
DARIA: (angrily) You don't remember his NAME!? You have an affair with the guy and you can't even remember the guy's NAME!?
HELEN: Affair? Daria, what are you talking about? What makes you think I had an affair?
DARIA: We did blood type tests at school last week. Mine came out B. I know that Jake isn't my father-I know you cheated on him. (looks away) So, I did some looking, and I found this picture. You guys looked pretty close, and he looks like me. I just put two and two together.
HELEN: Oh, Daria, (sighs) I guess it's time to tell you now. Jake, Quinn (pauses) Amy, come in here please.
JAKE, QUINN, and AUNT AMY come into the living room.
DARIA and QUINN: Aunt Amy? What are you doing here?
AMY: I think that's about to be explained. Helen, do you want to start or should I?
HELEN: Well, Daria, you were right about one thing. Jake isn't your father. But I didn't have an affair...
Flashback to the opening scene at the hospital.
Doctors are crowding around, a nurse tells the young woman to push. As the camera pans around, we can see a young HELEN standing next to the young JAKE from earlier. As a doctor moves to the side, we now see that the woman giving birth is a teenaged AMY BARKSDALE.
DOCTOR: Congratulations Ms. Barksdale. It's a girl!
CUT BACK TO: DARIA and family in the living room
AMY: When I discovered I was pregnant, I asked Helen and Jake to keep you. I was only 17, and there was no way I could care for you properly.
HELEN: She wanted to take you back sooner, but we decided that it would be too traumatic on a young girl to have her surroundings and family change so suddenly.
AMY: Can you ever forgive us? I know it's a lot to ask.
DARIA: I can understand why you did it, I guess, but why did you wait until now to tell me?
HELEN: We thought that you would be mature enough to handle this rationally by now (beat) and I just couldn't wait any longer.
DARIA: (Turns to Amy) What about you? You knew I was your daughter, but I hardly ever saw you! You didn't even know what grade I was in*.
AMY: It was just too hard. Too painful. It was all I could do to control myself at Erin's wedding. I know it may be too late, but I'd like to get to know you better.
DARIA: (semi-pained look) I don't know. I need some time to think about this.
Scene 5
INT: Pizza King
DARIA, JANE, and TOM are sitting in a booth, eating pizza and talking. DARIA is doing more picking than eating.
JANE: So, Aunt Amy turns out to be Mom, huh? I guess that really DOES make you Quinn's cousin.
DARIA: Yeah. Damn shame. I was hoping I wasn't related to her at all.
TOM: So how are you going to deal with this?
DARIA: Well, as far as where I'll live goes, I figure since I'll be leaving for college, I'll just stay on campus. Until then, I'll live with Jake and Helen.
TOM: And what about your relationships with Amy, Helen, and Jake?
DARIA: I don't know. I think I want to spend some time with Amy and get to know her better, but Jake and Helen raised me. They're really the only parents I have. The only thing I'll have a problem with is calling them "Uncle Jake" and "Aunt Helen." It'll be weird, but I think I can handle it.
TOM: And if you can't?
DARIA: (deadpan) Then I'll get myself to a nunnery*.
JANE: (Nudges Tom) Too bad for you, pal. (Turns back to Daria) You seem awfully calm about all this, especially considering the hysterics you went into at school.
DARIA: That was before I knew the whole story. I mean, come on. I thought my mom had cheated on my dad! I can't really blame Amy. No teenager is ready for a baby. I can't blame Jake and Helen either. I'm glad they took me in. There is one thing though. I want to find out who my father is.
Scene 6
INT: A diner (the same one Daria and Helen were in during "Dye, Dye my darling") AMY and DARIA are in an inconspicuous corner booth. AMY has a cup of coffee and DARIA has a soda. Both look untouched.
AMY: I can imagine that you have a few questions.
DARIA: (Eyes darting nervously) Um, yeah. Just one really. Who WAS my father?
AMY: (just as nervously) Well, his name was Darian-
DARIA: (shocked) I was NAMED after him?
AMY: Uh-huh. He was a special guy. He was an English Education major, but his heart was in his writing. I really did love him. We were going to be married right after I finished high school.
DARIA: Why weren't you?
AMY: (starting to tear up) He went out with some of his friends to celebrate after finals week. Everyone was drinking pretty heavily. On the way back to the dorms, the driver of the car he was in swerved into oncoming traffic and-(lowers head, tears flowing freely now) and they were hit head on. No survivors. (softly, to herself) Damn you Darian! You were smarter than that! You should have known-(cries earnestly)
DARIA has heard her, and is unsure what to do. She finally reaches over and pats AMY on the back to comfort her.
AMY: (wiping eyes with napkin) I never thought I'd recover from that. Sometimes I think a part of me died with him. But when I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled. It meant that I would always have a part of him with me. But then I realized that I didn't have the ability to take care of you, and Mom wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of her "sensible" daughter being an unwed teenaged mother.
DARIA: I can imagine (looks away) Amy? I'm not mad at you. And...um...I'm glad you're my mother.
They get up to leave. As they near the door, DARIA unexpectedly gives AMY a strong hug and a full-fledged smile.
Scene 7
AMY and DARIA are sitting across from each other. HELEN is sitting beside AMY, and JAKE is standing behind HELEN.
DARIA: So that's how it's going to be. I'll stay here in Lawndale until I leave for college. Then I'll go to school in Chicago to be closer to Amy-er-Mom.
AMY: I think that's a great idea.
HELEN: Daria, we really are VERY sorry we had to put you through this.
DARIA: That's OK. You were helping out family. Even though you might not know it, I think that's the best thing you could have done.
AMY, JAKE, HELEN, and DARIA engage in a group hug. Just then, QUINN rushes in. Everyone looks at her.
QUINN: I just realized something! Daria really IS my cousin!
JAKE, HELEN, and AMY laugh. DARIA gives her Mona Lisa smile.
la la LA la la
FOOTNOTES:
1. "I Don't" - Amy says, "So you're in college now, right?" It was kind of a fleeting moment, so I thought I'd better clarify
2. Hamlet. Learn your Shakespeare!
How did you like it? This is my first Fanfic, so please read and review. Send any comments, questions, and especially praise, to Rocketrider2k@aol.com