"This Tori Jericho, for WROS News, and we're here in the downtown area, where a life-and-death drama is being played out on the ledge of the highest building in the city!'
The image being broadcast through the camera reached out into every home in Lawndale, across the United States and, in fact, the world; it was of a young man in a blue-and-gold prancing about on the rooftop ledge of a building while several police officers stood several feet away, trying to talk him down from the roof while video cameras recorded every moment...
"Kevin – come down from there – you're already famous," Lawndale P.D. Lieutenant Brady Hoffman said, a beat of sweat trickling down his neatly-shorn head as he stood seven feet away, his arms held out to Kevin. "You're the QB, kid. You're already famous-"
"Dude – when the super-chick saves me, I'll be even more famous!"
Kevin turned, and the officers ran as he crouched down –
- Hoffman's fingers missed fabric by less than half an inch –
- Kevin's elated cry of victory could be heard all the way down –
"Come save me, super-chick!"
-The sound of Kevin's body impacting the asphalt of the parking lot made everyone within hearing range wince. Blood spurted thirty-seven feet away, and a generous lock of Kevin's black hair, torn free by the impact, made a ghastly splattering sound as it struck the left side of Tori's face, making her scream so loudly that her cameraman had trouble hearing for the next half hour.
Standing in the shower of her quite spacious condominium, Daria Morgendorffer sighed; it was hard to decide, however, if that was because she heard the sound of Kevin hitting the ground with her super-hearing, or because of the way Tom Sloane gently scrubbed around her navel with his loofah.
This was the third person to throw themselves off a building, in the hopes of meeting the Dark Defender – Lawndale's greatest superhero, with powers that equaled Superman's. However, she had gotten tired of having to rush off at any moment of day or night to rescue someone who decided to place themselves in danger so they could meet her when she showed up to save them.
The first time was an honest mistake; she didn't hear about that person jumping from the top of the quarry – but no one did anything like that for several days. The second time was that silly lawyer Eric that her mother worked for – definitely past-tense – because he thought it would probably get him some publicity. Nobody did anything for a week after he dove face-first into the sidewalk.
Tom started to move the loofah slowly upwards, and Daria gave off a small moan of pleasure in response. If Kevin thought I was going to give up on this to save his silly ass, well, he's crazy, she thought, tilting her head back to give Tom a kiss. Yeah, I figure two or three jumpers will do it, and I can get back to just fighting crime and saving the world. Besides, it's nice to know that Jane and Andrea are getting a little extra work at the mortuary. The holiday season's coming up, and they both have families to buy presents for.
The loofah fell forgotten from Tom's fingertips as he turned Daria around and took her fully into his arms. Maybe three or four more... Jane was talking about spending New Years' in Cabo. I certainly hope no one needs me to save their life for the next fifteen minutes or so – otherwise, they about to get screwed.
I don't think, however, that they'll enjoy it as much as I will...
7 September 2007