Ah, Good Memories
"Tell me why we're paying good money that we could be spending on
bad pizza to see another faculity roller hockey game, Lane."
Jane Lane passed a box of popcorn to Daria Morgendorffer, a tiny, evil smile on
her face as she watched the Z-93 FM DJ's skating around the packed gym.
"Patience, amiga. I heard through the grapevine that the teachers have –
something special – planned to freak out the Z93 folks."
Daria accepted the offered cup of soda and straw from her friend. "This one – I
knew we needed to be here for. Here they come."
The seated crowd went silent as the lights in the gym went out, except for a
spotlight that suddenly appeared and shone down on the people from Z-93. "Yes,
I've a feeling that this could be good," Jane continued, as the beams from two
other spotlights suddenly shone on the doors to the opposite side of the gym,
where the Lawndale High teachers, all wearing roller skates and carrying hockey
sticks, stood silently.
Dr. Armalin, the Sociology/Psychology instructor, raised his stick and pointed
it at the Z-93 people. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all
sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men," he
called out at the top of his voice, followed by the LHS teachers slamming the ends
of their sticks down on the gym floor three times in unison after every
sentence. "Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds
the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper
and the finder of lost children."
Even Daria's eyes were open wide with surprise, and the DJ's were visibly
unnerved as the hockey sticks slammed down again. "And I will strike down
upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers!"
Armalin looked directly at the overweight 'Spatula Man', and 'Rock & Roll
Randy', and pointed his stick at them like a prophet out of a Biblical epic as
he bellowed, "And you will know my name is the LORD when I lay my
vengeance upon thee!"
The LHS players slammed their sticks against the floor three times more; on the
third strike, the spotlights went out for a good six seconds, and then, a chant
began to rise up out of the crowd and through the darkness:
"Janet B! Janet B! Jannn –et B! Jannn-et B!"
As the chant began, the sound of a single pair of skates circling the gym floor
could be heard; a spotlight came up - and stayed on Ms. Barch as she skated,
holding her hockey stick to her side the way a samurai would hold his sword
close.
After about thirty seconds of circling the gym, the entire crowd now chanting 'Janet
B!", Ms. Barch stopped in front of the DJ's. She spun her stick from her
side and swung it in a series of blinding movements as if it actually were a
sword, then shopped and held it in front of her as if in salute.
"Oh, hell yea!" Jane said, nudging Daria as Ms. Barch, amid a wave of cheers,
skated over to her teammates as a horn sounded for the game to begin. "I told
you that you'd never forgive yourself if you missed this one."
"I think you're right," Daria replied, noticing the wet spot growing in the
front of the Spatula Man's pants as he raced for the boys' locker room. "These
are the moments from which memories are made...'"
END
19 December 2009