by Lourdes M Cabrera

It is a Saturday morning in May, and Lawndale High School is having an art fair. Jane and several other of the students have art booths, these students include the fashion club and Upchuck. Daria comes to the fair to check out her friend's booth. Here we are at our first stop, Jane's booth.

Daria: What has the demented genius created now?

Jane: I thought I do some art on the spot, so I'm making caricatures.

Daria: As if people weren't imperfect enough as it is.

Jane: These caricatures are different, the background of my caricatures are either going to reflect on the subject's deepest wish or their personality. Of course I will be sure to choose whichever is worse.

Kevin and Brittany stop by Jane's booth.

Daria: Kevin, how about a caricature of you and Brittany together so you can always remember the way you both were years from now, they even come with a descriptive background.

Brittany: But isn't that why we have cameras.

Jane: This is more revealing than a photo a caricature is a picture that makes a statement, by exaggerating certain facial features.

Kevin: A statement of what?

Daria: Forget the caricatures, I think in your case a recording of the things you say would be sufficient.

Kevin: Ok, but I left my tape recorder at home.

Jane and Daria look at each other with the same thought "they get dumber and dumber with each passing moment." Then suddenly Brittany notices the Fashion Club's Teddy Bear Booth.

Brittany: Look! Kevy teddies.

Brittany and Kevin leave to go to the teddy bear booth. Then Jane has an idea.

Jane: Maybe we should tie a bow on Kevin and put him on display.

Daria: I don't think that's a good idea, because Quinn will buy him.

Jane; Not if Brittany kills her first.

Daria: Got any bows?

We now go to the Teddy Bear Booth run by the fashion club, Sandi, Tiffany and Stacey are all ready there yet, Quinn is still at home trying to figure out which outfit goes best with the booth.

Stacey: I think the black and white bear with the red bow is really cute next to the completely black bear with the pink bow. Is that all right Sandi?

Sandi: I guess so, I would have preferred it if we had a makeup booth instead of teddy bears.

Tiffany: You're so right Sandi, I think we should have had this art fair in the mall instead of in front of the school. .

Sandi: I know what you mean its over eighty degrees and sweating is so unfashionable, and we might have had it at the mall if it wasn't for that girl that lives with Quinn.

Brittany: Hi Sandi, hi Stacey, hi Tiffany where's Quinn.

Sandi: Hi Brittany, Quinn is still at home trying to find an outfit to go with the booth.

Tiffany: See our last shopping trip was over two days ago.

Brittany then sees a teddy with a cute football jersey in the school colors of Lawndale High.

Brittany: Look how cute a teddy with a football jersey, I can put it next to your picture Kevy.

Kevin: Awe Babe.

Quinn comes with Joey, Jeffy and Jamie, each one of them is holding a different outfit because Quinn couldn't decide what to wear.

Sandi: I can't believe it took you all morning to choose that outfit, it looks so last month.

Quinn: I got this outfit at the beginning of this month.

Sandi: It's already the tenth.

Quinn: I passed by the store and it's not on sale yet.

Sandi: So Quinn you don't think I know which fashion is current, and perhaps I should be impeached and you should be president of the fashion club.

Quinn: Why Sandi you are the best fashion club president and I am not in doubt even for a second that you know what's current. It just that I want something to go with the booth and that truly represents the fashion club. So which outfit should I choose to go with the booth.

Joey: Choose this outfit it goes so well with your hair.

Jeffy: Choose this outfit it brings out the color in your eyes

Jamie: Choose this outfit it goes great with my car.

Joey: Quinn you look better in my car.

Jeffy: My car goes well with your hair and brings out the color in your eyes.

Jamie: I thought of it first.

Quinn: Why are we talking about cars for, when I'm trying to choose the right outfit. and you know what, I look good with everything, so will one of you take those outfits home for me before they get stained. or something

Meanwhile Back at Jane's Booth, Jane and Daria talk about a couple of Jane's masterpieces.

Jane: I don't think Mr. DeMartino liked his caricature very much.

Daria: I guess he didn't find putting dinosaurs in the background with expressions of fear very flattering.

Jane: Ms. Barch really loved her picture though.

Daria: You made her a prison guard with an all male chain-gang in the background and they are all picking up dead cats from the highway.

Jane: She thought the whip was a nice touch.

Daria: I'd like it if you drew of a caricature of me as an empress on a slave ship and you can put Quinn and the rest of the fashion club as rowers.

Jane: Daria, I'm really thirsty and I can't leave the booth, maybe you can get us both a soda.

Daria: Sure thing, if you do a caricature of Quinn while I'm gone, make sure she's having a bad hair day, that she is wearing last season's fashion, and put a bunch of ugly guys in the background, or better yet just put Upchuck and make a copy for me.

Jane: I won't need to make a second copy, because when Quinn sees the drawing, she'll tell me I drew you by mistake.

Daria: Be careful funny girl I am bringing you something to drink.

On the way to the drink stand Daria passes by Upchuck's Female Worlds of Wonder Photo Booth.

Upchuck: Won't you all come and check out some of my photos of beautiful girls in bikinis.

Daria: If all these photos are suppose to be of female bodies, why do I only see hands moving and a foot kicking sand?.

Upchuck: When I went to the beach to photograph girls in bikinis, I was trying to get a close up of this lady 's gorgeous legs and she kicked sand in my face, she was so feisty.

Daria: Let me guess, the hand moving in this photo must belong to one of those feisty ladies trying to slap you.

Upchuck: Yes, she tried to slap me, when I tried to get a close up of her red two piece, rowrrrr.

Daria: See you, I think I've seen enough of Chucky's Angels.

Upchuck: Daria for your information it is Charlie's Angels one of the greatest TV shows of all time. I taped all the reruns.

Daria: A definite classic from the peroxide era of television, not like today's shows in which female detectives actually hold a gun correctly and can even perform autopsies.

Upchuck: How about having you perform a little autopsy on me.

Daria: First of all you're not dead, besides isn't the motto of the show "Trust No One". I'm out of here.

Daria stops by the drink booth run by Mr. O'neill.

Daria: Hi Mr. O'neill. Give me two cokes please.

Mr. O'neill: Hello Daria, how come you don't have an arts and craft booth of your own?

Daria: It's just that all my art work is in Museums throughout the world under the alias of "Salvador Dali". Most of it is in St.Petersburg, Florida.

Mr. O'neill: Daria, I think you are very gifted and it would be great if you decided to express yourself through art, you should release the artist within.

Daria: I guess I prefer writing a form of self expression, besides the artist within is in Rome looking for another ceiling to paint.

It's Three hours later and everyone is packing up, Kevin, Brittany, Mack, Jodie, Daria and Jane are standing next to each other in front of the school.

Kevin: I'm going to be at this all night party with all the really cool people. What do you plan to do later this evening Daria?

Daria: I was planning on going to the cemetery and raising the dead.

Kevin: That sounds cool, if the party gets kind of boring can I come by and check out all the stiffs, not that I believe in any of that voodoo mumbo jumbo.

Daria: I may need someone to change the expiration dates on the tomb stones if I'm successful.

Jane: I can just imagine the expression on their family's faces when they come to bring flowers.

Daria: They will want to sue the cemetery for bringing back their unwanted relatives.

Jane: Seriously Daria what do you plan to do tonight?

Daria: Looking for UFO's.

Kevin: Daria do you believe in aliens?

Daria: Of course I do, I'm still waiting for them to stop by my house and abduct Quinn.

Jane and Daria walk away from Kevin and the rest of the group and discuss their evening plans.

Jane: I'm asking because tonight Trent is giving a concert over at the Leathersnake Club in downtown. He's planning on singing three new songs that he and Mystik Spiral wrote.

Daria: You know how nervous I get when I'm around Trent, I don't want that rash to reappear I think I'm better of with the aliens tonight.

Jane: Common Daria, this will be an all night gig, meaning we will be out after midnight like all the so called cool people, the same ones who think that only they are entitled to the really cool parties.

Daria: I know what you're trying to do, but I'm not really interested in being like Kevin or any of the so called popular people, I find counting the cracks on my ceiling more entertaining then being at one of their cool parties, besides I doubt my parents will let me go.

Jane: Of course your parent's won't let you go, but that doesn't stop Quinn, besides it would mean a lot to Trent.

Daria: You act as if I really matter to Trent. Lets face it we are from two different worlds.

Jane: You don't mean regular and popular, do you, because Trent is above all that.

Daria: I could say awake and asleep, but what I mean is that he's out of high school and he's already pursuing his dreams. I on the other hand have to deal with my parents, my sister Quinn, and all the other morons that are part of my life, when I'm around Trent I don't feel like I'm in control and that bother's me.

Jane: So you'll risk not being as sarcastic as usual. Come on you'll be totally stunned by the club's ambiance of really loud music and a really smelly restroom often used by both genders because they're too wasted to read the sign on the door. At least you had some fun, or does that go against the Daria Morgendorffer philosophy of life.

Daria: Ok you talked me into it, I guess loud music and a smelly restroom does beat counting the cracks on the ceiling. Meet me at my window at ten tonight.

In the tank (black van they use to go to gigs) Trent is driving with Jesse on the passenger side and Jane and Daria are sitting in the back.

Jane: Common Daria loosen up this is going to be fun, and if it isn't maybe we can go to the cemetery later and try raising the dead, that's if Trent's band doesn't revive them first.

Trent: Thanks Janey, I'm glad you can feel the power in my music. Tonight Mystik Spiral is going to blow them away. What's that about raising the dead? Is Daria experimenting with voodoo or something like that?

Daria: (Who is really embarrassed) Yes Trent, I figured I'd practice on the dead first before using it on Quinn. I was just teasing Kevin earlier today. Besides why would I want to raise the dead, there are plenty of morons taking up space in this world as it is.

Trent: Good one Daria. Did Janey tell you that Mystik Spiral will be playing three new songs that Jesse and I wrote?

Daria: Yes she did, would you tell me the name of one of those songs?

Trent: Well there's this one song I wrote about my high school days it's called "Bummer Culture".

Daria: I can relate to that, in fact I'm sure anyone who isn't Kevin, Britanny or actually has an IQ over 50 can relate.

Trent: Thanks that's what makes a song great, people relating to it. I guess it also helps to have really good publicist. Relating that's what's important.

Jane: Here we are, the Leathersnake Club.

Meanwhile at the Morgendorffer house Helen and Jake are on the coach. Jake is reading the newspaper and Helen is going over some reports for work.

Helen: It not even Monday morning yet and I already have three cases that must be in court by Wednesday, it's like a never-ending hectic pace, just the way I like it.

The phone rings and Jake answers it.

Jake: Hello Jake Morgendorffer here. You want to talk to Quinn, ok I'll get her. Quinn it's Corey come and get the phone. (to Helen) That's strange, Quinn always comes running when I call her to the phone.

Helen: Let me take the cordless phone upstairs to see what is the matter with Quinn.

When Helen enters Quinn room she notice something in the bed, she thinks it Quinn, but even though she goes over to make sure Quinn is all right. When she lifts the cover she discovers it's not Quinn and that Quinn must have sneaked out of the house. So she goes to Daria's room to see if Daria knows anything about Quinn disappearance. Daria hides her absence better than Quinn by putting a recording of someone breathing, and putting a life like doll in her bed. Helen calls but no answer so she becomes suspicious and checks Daria's bed and finds that Daria is missing as well. Boy are they going to get it.

Helen: Jake guess what, both of the girls are not home and it's already 11:30PM. We wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for one of Quinn's ruder boyfriends who calls houses at this hour, thank God for teenage rudeness.

Jake: Maybe they forgot the time Helen.

Helen: If that is so, why did they go through all the trouble of hiding their absence by making it look like they're in their rooms? Daria even went as far as adding sound to her cover up.

Jake: You know Daria has always been an overachiever.

Helen: Overachiever or not they both have a lot of explaining to do when they get home. I also plan to ground them for at least a month. Just wait till they get home.

Jane and Daria are standing with the rest of the audience at the Leathersnake Club, Trent, Jesse and the rest of the band are playing "Bummer Culture"

Trent: "Nobody cares, they're nothing but vultures, There's just deceit everywhere in my Bummer Culture, All the songs make me blue, can't find any to sing, Yes it is true, I just broke a guitar string"

Jane: (Thinking) Trent must have read that issue of "Val Magazine" that Jodie gave me with the article on Daria and the teen bummer culture.

Daria: (Thinking) Was he asleep or awake when he wrote that song?

In the far corner of the Leathersnake Club is Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy, they are dressed up like Goth chicks and are wearing black wigs. Standing next to Quinn is Andrea's ex boyfriend, the rest of the fashion club do not have dates, and judging from the expression on Sandi's face she not very happy about it, but they needed a ride and Alex has a car. The music stops.

Jane: I think that Goth chick in the corner just signed her death warrant Daria.

Daria: Tell me about it. If Andrea finds out that she's dating her exboyfriend she's as good as dead.

Jane: Maybe we should warn her.

Daria: Better yet lets call Andrea that should liven things up a bit.

Jane: How could you be bored, you are who inspired Trent's last song.

Daria: What is that suppose to mean?

Jane: I think he read that article about you in "Val Magazine" and then he wrote "Bummer Culture." Never mind the song Daria I think we should go over there and warn that Goth chick that her life is in danger.

Daria: I guess you're right or tonight is going to be a live example of Trent's "Bummer Culture" or should I say another Goth bites the dust.

Jane and Daria go over to where Quinn , the fashion club and Alex are standing. Quinn who realizes that Daria and Jane are headed her way, tries to hide behind Alex.

Sandi: Quinn isn't that your cousin or whatever? She's coming over here.

Tiffany: What would she want? She's like so weird.

Daria: (Takes a good look at the group and then realizes that it's Quinn and the rest of the fashion club) Quinn what are you doing here? Why are you and the rest of your friends dressed like Goth chicks?

Quinn: (Steps out from behind Alex) Just because you never experiment with fashion, is no reason why I can't try a new look. Besides Alex only dates Goth chicks. What are you doing here?

Daria: Quinn in case you haven't noticed Trent's band is playing here tonight. I really don't care about what you wear, experiment all you want. I just wanted to let you know that your life's in danger.

Quinn: What do you mean, things can't get any worse I'm already talking to you, and the rest of the people in this club all look like a bunch of losers.

Daria: If Andrea decides to kill you, I'll ask her is she needs any help.

Alex: What do you mean? Why would Andrea want to kill Quinn?

Jane: Remember what happened a year ago when you both broke up for a week and you dated that cheerleader. Andrea got so mad, that girl even had to change schools.

Alex: Andrea's more mellow these days, besides the reason she got so mad was that she didn't like the idea of being replaced by some shallow cheerleader.

Daria: Then you made a great choice, Quinn is one of the deepest people I know, and I'm the dancing queen. (thinking to herself) and Trent's band, Mystik Spiral has five platinum LPs. Thank God Trent can't read my mind.

At the door of the club a dark figure emerges, it is Andrea and she doesn't look very happy. She looks like the angry Queen Hecuba in her story Gothic Nights.

Daria: I think it's time to pay that smelly restroom a visit.

Jane: That way we can soak up some of that night club ambiance and live to see tomorrow.

Alex: I'm coming with you.

Daria: Excuse me, but we're going to the ladies room.

Alex: It doesn't matter everyone here is too smashed to read the sign on the door anyway.

Jane: I thought you said that Andrea was more mellow these days.

Alex: Goths make mistakes to, and Andrea is not mellow tonight.

Quinn: Maybe the rest of us should join you, you know safety in numbers.

Sandi: I want you to remember Quinn that this was your idea. It's like you do anything for a date even wear this really unfashionable clothes.

Quinn: Here she comes Sandi, I think we better get out of here fast.

Jane: Daria, I don't think we have time to get to the restroom, Andrea is right here.

Alex: Hi Andrea, thought I'd hang out for a while, check out this new group called Mystik Spiral.

Andrea: I see the band is not the only thing that's new here, I can't believe you're dating that air head from the fashion club.

Jane: Actually the band has been around for a while now, my brother Trent is the lead singer.

Andrea: I'm not here for the music, I'm here to settle a score with that looser who is dating Alex.

Daria: Excuse me, Quinn might not be very bright, but I think dating her was also Alex's choice.

Jane: After tonight Quinn will be probably dating the next guy on her list, and she does have a very long list.

Alex: Quinn what is this about a list? Never mind. Come on Andrea we're out of here.

Andrea: Yeah lets get out of this joint, besides the band isn't that good anyway.

Jane: Excuse me, but that's my brother's band you're talking about.

Andrea: Drop it Lane, you're lucky you're still alive. Daria tell your little sister I'll let her live this time and that she looks really stupid as a Goth chick.

Stacey: Do I look stupid to?

Andrea: Yeah, bye.

Andrea and Alex leave the club just when Trent is finishing his last song. It's already 3:00 AM. They pack up their equipment and Trent, Jane, Daria ,Quinn and the other members of the fashion club are all riding in the tank. Jesse and the rest of the band leave separately to get some sleep.

Trent: I'm not really sleepy yet, so why don't all of us go to Dega street and hang out for a While.

Jane: So you're not sleepy yet, this is a rare occasion. I would really like to go to Dega street and check out that new avant-garde art supply shop or maybe get a few new holes in my head at Axl's.

Trent: Daria, maybe we can get that tattoo I promised you.

Daria: I guess some promises are meant to be broken. Besides it already 4:00 AM, if I go home any later it will be morning, which will make it harder for me and Quinn to sneak into the house without my parents noticing we were gone all night.

Sandi: I think Quinn's cousin or whatever is right. It will be almost impossible for me to get into my house without my parents noticing if I go home any later, besides tattoos are so permanent and you can't remove them when they're not in fashion anymore.

Trent: Tattoos are suppose to be permanent, they're like suppose to mark the moment, besides Daria is Quinn's sister not her cousin.

Sandi: I can see that your cousin's friends are really weird. Not only do they say that your cousin or whatever is your sister, but they want to wear something that is permanent , as if getting a bad haircut isn't permanent enough. (Quinn looks back at Sandi with a sad expression on her face, the evening is not going her way)

Tiffany: You're so right Sandi, at least your hair grows out. With a tattoo you'll have to wear long sleeves all the time when the tattoo is no longer in fashion.

Stacy: What do you do when long sleeves are no longer in fashion either?

Daria: I'm not getting a tattoo. Anyway, it's already four in the morning and Axl's Piercing Parlor should be closed right now.

Trent: Axl's has an all night tech, see at night is when he gets most of his business. Most of his customers are musicians like me, so their hours are like mine.

Daria: I guess musicians are creatures of the night, just like vampires and werewolves. I on the on other hand am still in highschool which means I have to be awake during day light hours with the rest of the world, although I do look forward to being Mrs. Dracula sometime in the future.

Quinn: What makes you think Dracula would want to go out with you Daria?

Daria: I agree, especially tonight, I'm sure you're much more his type all dressed up like a Goth chick. In fact, come to think of it he will want to date the whole fashion club. I hope you all want a guy with a really pale complexion.

Tiffany: You know Quinn, your cousin says some of the weirdest things, besides Dracula is not your type. I can't wait to get home and get out of these clothes.

Trent: We won't be dropping you of for at least another hour. Here we are, Dega street. Come on Daria lets go check out Axl's for that tattoo.

Daria: How about getting another navel ring, I promise I won't take it of this time no matter how much it itches.

Quinn: Good, this time mom and dad will know I am not the one trying to brighten her ho hum life with a little illusion.

Daria: You know what Trent, maybe we should check out the record store instead.

Jane: That's too boring, how about checking out Herb's Adult Toys right there in the corner.

Daria: (She is blushing and is really embarrassed) Maybe the tattoo is not such a bad idea.

Quinn: Besides I don't want to live with someone who still plays with toys. How immature.

The fashion club decides to stay in the tank. Jane goes over to the avant-garde art supply store, and Trent and Daria walk over to Axl's. Daria keeps hoping that this is a nightmare and that she will wake up any minute, then she realizes she's not in her underwear meaning all this is really happening.

Daria: (Thinking) Why did I let Jane talk into going out tonight? I'd would have been better of if I had just stayed home and counted the cracks on the ceiling. I sure hope that rash doesn't appear again. (To Trent) Trent, I didn't know you hung out at Dega street at this time of the morning.

Trent: This is when I like to do my shopping Daria, when I have some money, which is like maybe once a month, I don't like malls they're so crowded.

Daria: I agree, I don't like the mall either. I prefer the Home Shopping Network., No, on second thought they sell those really tacky cat pictures that Quinn likes. I shop on the internet from time to time

Trent: How often is from time to time?

Daria: Once I year, see I have a really busy schedule with all my dates and all those parties that I go to all the time. Then again maybe not.

Trent: I'm a loner to Daria. Gives me time to think about what I really want from life.

Daria: What do you want from life Trent?

Trent: I would really like it if Mystic Spiral had a hit song, maybe even a gold album. For now I'm trying to wake up in time for breakfast, that way I can practice more. What do you want from life Daria?

Daria I've never told this to anyone, there's this character I created her name is Melody Powers. She's a secret agent and she goes on really exciting missions. She's strong, independent and has a much more exiting life than I do. I sometimes wish I was Melody Powers.

Trent: Kind of like a female James Bond. I think that's really cool Daria, I hope all your dreams come true. Here we are, Axl's.

Daria: It's closed, there's a sign on the door let me read what it says. (reads the sign.) "I'm sorry but I can't be at the shop this morning, the nudist colony where I live called an emergency meeting for all the tenants, they need to go over the dress code. Please come back, I will be happy to serve you then." Why would there be a dress code at a nudist colony? (notices Upchuck coming out of Herb's Adult Toys he is wearing a hat and dark glasses) Isn't that Upchuck? ( Upchuck spots Daria and Trent and runs away quickly) I can't believe it Upchuck actually has some sense of shame.

Trent: Well Daria, I guess I will have to get you that tattoo some other time. I think we better go find Janey, it's already 5:00Am and we better be heading back home. I'm getting kind of drowsy.

At the moment they spot Jane walking out of The Bohemian Avant-Garde Art Shop, she is carrying a large bag, she realizes that Trent and Daria were only gone for thirty minutes and that Daria didn't get the tatoo, so for Daria's sake she decides not to talk about it.

Jane: Hey Trent this bag is kind of heavy, you think you could carry it for me?

Trent: Sure thing Janey. (Jane hands him the bag) This is heavy! what do you have in here?

Jane: The usual, some new brushes, one month supply of paint. I love that store, they have these really unusual colors Daria.

Daria: I guess you're going to be the next Jackson Pollock.

Jane: That was last year, Now my newest rage is Jonathan Winters not only are his paintings cool, I love the names he gives them, my absolute favorite is Thoughts of a Hollywood Actor While Drowning in His Pool.

Daria: That's assuming Hollywood Actors actually think.

Jane: I think my next masterpiece will be a picture of Trent asleep. I plan to call that one Rock Superstar on the Pursuit of His Dreams.

Trent: I guess she wants my fans to know that I'm a very mellow guy.

Daria: (Thinking) More like a catatonic guy.

Trent: I plan on having Janey design the cover of my first album.

Daria: Ok then, maybe its time I try some art of my own. I'm going to paint portrait of Jane, and I will call it Girl Who Saw Too Many Sick, Sad World Reruns.

Jane: Thanks a lot Daria. I was planning on having you name some of my paintings.

Daria: Why didn't you say that before? Now my life will have some meaning. My sarcasm will make its mark in an art gallery somewhere on Sick, Sad World .

Jane: Now you're talking.

Meanwhile Quinn and the rest of the fashion club get tired of waiting in the van and Quinn is thirsty.

Quinn: I'm really thirsty. I'm going to go check if there's a place around here that sells Diet Coke.

Sandi: I prefer mineral water, Diet Coke is bad for your skin.

Tiffany: You're so right Sandi. Quinn try to see if you could find some water. One should only drink Diet Coke as a last resort.

Quinn gets out of the van and on the way to the convenience store, a guy dressed in jeans with holes in them and a Marilyn Manson tank top approaches her.

Guy in grunge: Hi there cutie, lets go have a cup of coffee.

Quinn: Ugh! don't get near me. (She runs back to the van, and spots Daria, Trent and Jane) What took you so long? I'm really thirsty but I can't get a drink because there are some really weird people around here, they're dressed even worse than all of you.

Daria: Speak for yourself. We are not the ones that are dressed like Goth chicks.

Quinn: Oh no! I hope no one I know sees me dressed like this. Besides it's already five in the morning. We better get home before mom and dad wake up and discover we've been out all night.

Trent, Jane, Daria and Quinn get into the Van and they all head to everyone's house or jail cells if they get grounded. Meanwhile at the Morgendorffer house, Jake and Helen have been waiting for Daria and Quinn all night and they are not exactly tickled pink. Jake is more worried with every passing moment and Helen is more angry.

Jake: I'm worried it is already 5:00 Am and we have not heard from the girls yet. I think maybe I should go look for them, Helen.

Helen: I guess you have forgotten when we were in our teens and we would go to those all night parties with Willow and Coyote. I think we should give it one more hour and if the girls are not back by then we are calling the police.

Jake: You know what I think is strange Helen, if they both went to different places wouldn't each of them be home at a different time. You don't suppose they are both at the same place.

Helen: Come on Jakey don't be ridiculous. Daria and Quinn at the same place, that is never going to happen. You're right though it is strange.

Trent first drops of Tiffany and Stacy at their houses and they somehow manage to get in without being caught. When Trent drops of Sandi her mother is waiting for her with her arms crossed in the front yard it's already 5:30 Am. Quinn and Daria begin to worry about the fate that awaits them. Trent and Jane on the other hand have no worries, their parents are out of town as usual. Trent pulls up at the Daria's driveway and they find Jake and Helen at the front door waiting for them, with that boy are you two going get it expression on both their faces. Daria and Quinn look at each other and take a deep breath, this is not going to be pretty. When they get out of the van, Jake and Helen look very surprised since they did spend the evening together.

Helen: Daria, Quinn, you both have a lot of explaining to do. Quinn why are you dressed that way? Daria I thought you were more responsible when it came to your curfew. This time you are both grounded and no parole for either of you.

Quinn: But mom, we didn't come home late on a school night.

Helen: Regardless of whether or not it is a school night I will not allow either of you to return home at 5:45Am.

Jake: Girls what your mother is trying to say is that we were both worried sick while you were gone.

Daria: How long do you plan to ground us?

Helen: We are grounding you both for a month.

Daria: (Thinking) I guess I'm going to have to play that rusty old harmonica as much as possible. I wonder if those so called cool kids, who go to those all night parties have this problem? I wonder how mom noticed that I was gone? I don't know but I bet it had something to do with Quinn, after all she was born for the sole purpose of ruining my life.

Quinn: Now we're both going to be marooned for a whole month and it's all your fault Daria. It like you're always trying to ruin my life because I'm popular.

Daria: Excuse me Quinn but I was not the one dating Andrea's exboyfriend dressed like some Goth chick, and it's not my fault that your date left you behind and that you and your friends needed a ride.

Quinn: I just don't understand how mom and dad noticed we were both gone. I did a really good job of covering my tracks.

Daria: You got me there. I also did a good job of covering mine.

It's Monday morning and Jane and Daria are over at their lockers. Daria tells Jane about her new prison sentence.

Daria: My parents are grounding us for a month and this time no parole. At least they're not putting me and Quinn through family court.

Jane: So I guess that means I won't be seeing you after school, but we can still talk on the phone.

Daria: Forget the phone, Quinn is also grounded. I guess it's back to pestering them with all those board games. I know I will also be playing my rusty old harmonica on a regular basis.

Jane: Maybe it's time you got one of those portable keyboards.

Daria: No, I need something that they find really disturbing, something that will torture Quinn as well. So it has to be the harmonica.

Kevin comes over by the lockers to find out what Daria finally decided to do on Saturday night and to know why she wasn't at the cemetery when he went looking for her.

Kevin: Hey Daria, what did you do Saturday night? I went to the cemetery to see if I could check you out trying to do some of that voodoo stuff for raising the dead and I didn't find you there.

Daria: I figured there are too many fools roaming the earth already, so I went with Jane to the Leathersnake Club to see Trent's band. After we left the club we hung out at Dega street. Now I'm grounded for a month, so is Quinn.

Kevin: I know I say dumb things once in a while.

Jane: Only once in a while?

Kevin: Anyway you don't expect me to believe that you went out clubbing and then checked out Dega street after that. You're just not that cool, Daria.

Daria: You're right Kevin my parents grounded me for finding too many cracks on my ceiling and they grounded Quinn for being herself.

Kevin: How many cracks did you find on your ceiling?

Jane: Never mind I don't think you can count that high anyway.

At school hallway Quinn is telling Britanny her version of what they did Saturday night .

Britanny: Hi Quinn, I didn't see you or anyone from the fashion club at the party Saturday night. Where did you go?

Quinn: Sandi, Tiffany, Stacy and I went to Cashman's later Saturday afternoon and they had brought in all this really cute clothes. So when they closed the store we were still in the dressing room. We all had to spend the night there. I guess it one of the hazards of being really fashionable.

Andrea and Alex passes by them in the hallway and Quinn runs away.

The End

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